Sadly, No! » Metaphors For Our Corporate Overlords

Mar
3

Metaphors For Our Corporate Overlords

Posted at 23:52 by D. Aristophanes

Avian Dept.

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319 Comments »

actor212 said,

March 3, 2009 at 23:54

…and then blogging about how unfair the “redistribution of wealth” will be.
handy said,

March 3, 2009 at 23:56

This will ruffle some feathers.
MzNicky said,

March 3, 2009 at 23:59

It’s really for their own good. At least half those people look like they shouldn’t be eating ice cream in the first place.
Wallace Stevens said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:01

Let the wenches dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring flowers in last month’s newspapers.
Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.
Loneoak said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:02

To be a truly accurate metaphor the photoessay would need to follow up with the birds taking enormous shits on the heads of their victims.
J— said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:03

Oh my God, look at those Mentos!
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:04

Do they drink my milkshake?
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:05

Those people had it coming. They erned it.
Froley said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:05

They’re stealing, they didn’t even erne that ice cream!
Froley said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:06

too late for my puns!
actor212 said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:06

Froley, you’re too gullible.
Aspiring Financier said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:06

Loneoak, Take from the fat and lazy, then bundle the proceeds into SIVs and drop them on the skinny and lazy!
mikey said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:10

I just wonder if they get bird-brainfreeze…

mikey
Loneoak said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:11

I blame it on the repeal of the Glass-Seagull Act.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:13

I blame it on the repeal of the Glass-Seagull Act.

FTW!
Rusty Shackleford said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:18

Tax cuts increase ravenues
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:21

Now you’re just sniping.
actor212 said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:21

Is this a case of robin the poor?
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:22

It’s your tern.
Smut Clyde said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:23

They are birds os-prey.
Rusty Shackleford said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:26

Wingnut welfare is the great tit at which they all suckle
A Flock of Seagulls said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:26

They ran all night and day, but couldn’t get away.
Knock Knock said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:28

smee
mextremist said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:30

those gulls are obviously illegals
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:30

If I was were one of those people I wood duck.
mextremist said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:30

illegulls, sorry.
The Pinioned Truth said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:30

Those birds are WHITE.

This oughta be good.
J— said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:31

Heermann’s Gulls steal fish from Brown Pelican’s pouches.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:33

Buddy, can you sparrow dime for an ice cream cone?
The Authentic said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:34

I noticed libs that every single one of the victims in those photos were white, so your analogy, though very close, still falls short. The birds in question represent the NCAAP, Al Sharpton, affirmative action wing of the Democrat Party stealing from white society. That the seagulls themselves are white is only central to my point. And of course we know the ice cream represents the myth of global warming, while the cones are the consequence of free gay abortions your Obamessiah wants to shove into all our hands.
Dimwitted pelican said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:36

Count your blessings. At least those fuckin’ badgers can’t fly.
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:36

Those birds are WHITE.

The blackbirds are waiting for their moment to arrive.
Rightwingsnarkle said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:37

Wingnuts put crushed glass in their ice cream cones.
Rusty Shackleford said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:37

This thread rocs.
Daniel Plainview said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:37

Do they drink my milkshake?

I drink it! I drink it up!
D. Aristophanes said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:38

Now we’re really skua-ed!
J— said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:38

Sad story of ice-creaming-stealing gull in the OC.
Arky4That1 said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:39

Poor Johnathan. He tried to make a living, son but the seagulls took all he owned.
LittlePig said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:39

Quit grousing about the damn ice cream.
LittlePig said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:40

And the sad part is, the gulls just hawk it up later.
D. Aristophanes said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:40

Tern the other cheek etc
Loneoak said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:40

Trolling for pun material about seagulls, I found an awesome new tern, ahem, term: kleptoparasitism. I’m half inclined to sneak a joke about wingnut welfare onto that Wikipedia page.
Arky4That1 said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:41

At least half those people look like they shouldn’t be eating ice cream in the first place.

Yeah. You can see them puffin along. They look like a bunch of grouses anyway.
D. Aristophanes said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:41

Oh, the price of petrel etc
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:41

The birds were trained by the weight loss center these people joined. You should see the pictures of the exercise classes, in which the staff releases tigers to motivate slackers to keep running.
Rusty Shackleford said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:41

Never eat ice cream around seagulls. Cardinal rule.
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:42

They got the booby prize.
I’m sure they’re egretting their snack decision now.
LittlePig said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:42

Those poor people were just rooked into providing ice cream.
Rusty Shackleford said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:42

Sad story of ice-creaming-stealing gull in the OC.

Did it make you blue, J–?
D. Aristophanes said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:43

What the f-auk!!!!!!1!
LittlePig said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:43

in which the staff releases tigers to motivate slackers to keep running.

The Biggest Loser: Extreme Edition

I expect the slowest guy would be the biggest loser.
extinct said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:43

what a bunch of dodos
LittlePig said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:44

Peej has already grabbed owl the good puns.
Smut Clyde said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:44

This is all leading up to the Looks-like-you-blew-a-seal joke, right?
The Birds is a classic conservative movie. Discuss.
LittlePig said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:44

Oh well, the moa the merrier.
D. Aristophanes said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:44

Photo credit must go to gannet, etc
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:45

Peej has already grabbed owl the good puns.

I’m just being an old coot.
I’m not bittern but I’ll make this my swan song.
LittlePig said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:46

And that’s a bad behavior to emu-late.
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:46

Ice cream: sauce for the goose.
D. Aristophanes said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:46

Wouldja look at the boobies etc
LittlePig said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:48

Many Sadlynaughts speak a form of pigeon English.
Mother in Diner said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:49

Why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? They said when you got here, the whole thing started. Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from? I think you’re the cause of all this. I think you’re evil! EVIL!
Mother in Diner said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:49

It’s the end of the world.
D. Aristophanes said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:50

Fancy a shag, etc
LittlePig said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:51

Heron Sadly, No! we do tend to make fowl puns.
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:51

This thread has really flown south and gone to the birds.
J— said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:53

Did it make you blue, J–?

A bittern, although this line made me grackle:

“…and Djuric, who had been defecated on…”
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:54

Caption: “Brother, can you sparrow a scoop?”
The Authentic Troofie said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:57

Hey that’s me! Right there in the cloaca!
LittlePig said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:58

“…and Djuric, who had been defecated on…”

Not exactly something to crow about.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:59

The Birds is a classic conservative movie. Discuss.

The movie makes a teal-eological argument, positing the existence of a vengeful God.
Loneoak said,

March 4, 2009 at 0:59

What a bunch of flocking arseholes.
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:07

I’ve been pecking away with little success so I’ll just wing it then.

So, what’s the flap about? Why’s everyone flying into a frenzy? It won’t make any difference, willet?
Me said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:08

I know this won’t be popular amongst people who are probably mostly animal lovers, but I’d be beating the shit out of those filthy creatures if I could possibly manage it (they do have the advantage of flight to consider). Seriously, seagulls are disgusting.
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:09

So, what’s the flap about?

Nothing much. Just the same old snark mixed in with trolls parroting RW talking points.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:12

Seriously, seagulls are disgusting.

Yeah – makes me a bit upset that they’re the state bird here in Utah.
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:12

Me,

You should read the aticle J__ linked above @0:38.
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:15

Yeah – makes me a bit upset that they’re the state bird here in Utah.

I had to look this up because I couldn’t believe, but it’s true: the official state bird of Utah is the California gull. Go figure.
Me said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:18

You should read the aticle J__ linked above @0:38.

Well, I did say the gulls had the advantage, after all. What I’m trying to figure out is why that guy was cited for hitting the gull. Sounds to me like he reacted instinctively. Also, I was somewhat influenced in my reaction because one of the photos D. Aristophanes links to is of a young kid.
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:18

Seriously, seagulls are disgusting.

This sort of thing shocks me. I don’t understand what can make someone think a relatively plain creature like the seagull is any more or less disgusting than, say, the Crested Felching Snotpuddle.
Rusty Shackleford said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:20

…the official state bird of Utah is the California gull. Go figure.

That’s nothing. Mississippi’s official vegetable is the French fry.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:21

Seriously, seagulls are ~~disgusting~~ delicious.

Maybe a food-blog posting is in order…
Loneoak said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:21

Crested Felching Snotpuddle

Which is, by the way, the state bird of Galt’s Gulch.
Me said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:24

Seriously, seagulls are delicious.

Maybe a food-blog posting is in order…

Never tried it, though I admit I’m intrigued. I guess I’ve always been put off by the fact that they’re carrion birds that basically eat garbage. But then, what we feed livestock, chickens, etc. ain’t exactly haute cuisine either.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:25

The now-ubiquitous Herring Gull was almost hunted to extinction in the early 20th century.

Hmmm… maybe the fashion for plumed hats needs to be revived.
Lawnguylander said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:29

I don’t approve of seagulls pulling shenanigans like this in broad daylight. Or kestrel maneuvers in the dark.
Clem said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:40

Al batross my argument with cherry-picked data.
lastima said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:47

Been trying for an hour to pun on Archeopteryx, but it ain’t happening.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:51

All of them birds are gulls. Calling the site “birds stealing ice cream” is tarring and feathering all avians with the same brush. I am literally puffin with poutrage.

Incidentally RB won this thread at 0:36.
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:51

Been trying for an hour to pun on Archeopteryx, but it ain’t happening.

I have faith! Keep working!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:53

Never tried it, though I admit I’m intrigued. I guess I’ve always been put off by the fact that they’re carrion birds that basically eat garbage

Hey, catfish is delish, but a bottom feeder.

Lawnguylander, were you a WLIR (moment of silence…) listener?
Lex (Agent of Chaos) Azagthoth said,

March 4, 2009 at 1:54

Having those fuckers steal my food as a kid being one of my earliest memories, it’s hard making this work as a metaphor…I”m trying though….fucking gulls, that was MY corndog, you fuckers!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:00

Seriously, seagulls are disgusting.
Great Lakes region dwellers are probably looking back in fondness at the days when ring-billed gulls were everywhere. Looking past the stinking toxic puddles of double crested cormorant shit that is.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:03

DKW, there you go with your cormo-rant again.
Smiling Mortician said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:06

the official state bird of Utah is the California gull. Go figure.

And suddenly that whole prop 8 thing begins to make more sense.
SomeNYGuy said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:09

And suddenly that whole prop 8 thing begins to make more sense.

Are you saying the California gulls in Utah want to get gay-married?
Dow Jones Index said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:10

Down, down, down I go….

HOPE ‘N CHANGE!
Mrs. Bundy, elderly ornithologist (Ethel Griffies) said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:11

I have never known birds of different species to flock together. The very concept is unimaginable. Why, if that happened, we wouldn’t stand a chance! How could we possibly hope to fight them?
Simba B said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:12

I know this won’t be popular amongst people who are probably mostly animal lovers, but I’d be beating the shit out of those filthy creatures if I could possibly manage it (they do have the advantage of flight to consider).

Although I am admittedly of the cuddly-n-cute variety of animal lover (impure scum, I know), I had the exact same reaction.

It’s like how I yell at my dog and chase her when she steals my shoe, only without violence. Just because I like animals doesn’t mean I like this particular animal doing a particular thing to me, namely stealing that other great love of mine, food.
Loneoak said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:12

Are you saying the California gulls in Utah want to get gay-married?

Once again, Rick Santorum proves to be one prescient motherfucker.

Next up: man–on–Crested Felching Snotpuddle action.
Chico said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:15

Ice cream! Get your tutsi-frutsi ice cream!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:15

Ahh, it’s Bodega Bay-lout all over again.
Felching Snotpuddle said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:15

Yer right about that, my featherless friend.

Our Crested cousins are beyond disgusting.

The just go around with those…CRESTS. Showing up at parties and ice cream stealing events all crested.

Honestly, we need to see if we can get a petition going to extend the hunting season on Crested Felching Snotpuddles while reducing or eliminating it for us good, honest, NON-Crested AMERICAN Felching Snotpuddles…
Jennifer said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:18

Ha! Matthews’ whole show this evening is about how Rush pwns every member of the Republican Party.
Dow Jones Index said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:22

Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooown down down down I goooooooo

WELCOME to HOPE ‘N CHANGE economics, America!
stryx said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:24

I don’t know if it’s possible to be OT, but if it is then I apologize for so being but I found the name of my new bank.

Ohio represent
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:24

Wouldja ~~look~~ take a gander at the boobies etc

and

Been trying for an hour to pun on Archeopteryx, but it ain’t happening.

Your wish is my (more than a little contrived) command.
I heard that a certain Cthulusexual whos 4 that 1 likes extensions in hair, I guess you could call him ArkyOptsHairEx’s
Lawnguylander said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:24

Big Bad, yes except for when Dennis MacNamara was on the air. I couldn’t stand his voice. Here’s hoping you’re not Dennis MacNamara.

I was always doing battle with my meathead friends who wanted to listen to WNEW or WBAB so I was sad when they went off the air.
Dow Jones Index said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:27

People stopped trying to make a profit on me as soon as it was clear Obama would win.

*glug glug glug* down I go!
stryx said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:29

Love the Sula sula

You gots to link or it didn’t happen.
Shell Goddamnit said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:31

But they were ARRESTED

for transporting YOUNG GULLS

over STATE LIONS

for IMMORTAL PORPOISES

and always, always I am late to the fair
Bank of America said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:34

Help! I got $45 billion in bailout money, and I’m only worth $17 billion now! Surely we can all blame my misfortune on that black President; this never happened when white guys were in charge.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:38

Thanks for the link, Lawnguylander, brings back memories, and no, I am not Dennis MacNamara. Hell, I am not even Ben Manila. You should listen to WFDU on Saturdays. Ghosty (Sat 9AM-Sun 1AM) interviewed Malibu Sue a few months ago.
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:41

Hey Big Bad, Lawnguy and any other 80s alternative/new wave fans out there:

This forum currently has posted links to a bunch of air checks from WLIR/WDRE and other similar-type formats from other markets in the country. Ghosty is actually one of the regs on that board.
Smut Clyde said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:42

Boobies? Gull-on-gull action?
Frigate.
MzNicky said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:44

Seriously, seagulls are disgusting.

So are most humans. ‘specially con-tards.
MzNicky said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:46

That’s nothing. Mississippi’s official vegetable is the French fry.

Tennessee’s state drink is milk. Just happened. Can’t imagine how.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:47

Thanks, handy. I have actually navigated over there from time to time over the years. Poor Ghosty, he lost his job at a satellite radio station a couple of weeks ago. He really comes across as a hell of a nice guy, so I hope things work out for him.
MzNicky said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:48

what we feed livestock, chickens, etc. ain’t exactly haute cuisine either.

No shit. I don’t know how you flesh-eaters can even swallow that stuff.
Barack Obama said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:48

“Help! I got $45 billion in bailout money, and I’m only worth $17 billion now! Surely we can all blame my misfortune on that black President; this never happened when white guys were in charge.”

Don’t worry, I’ll give you and all the other welfare leeches (car companies, unions, etc) all the free money you want! I just have to check with our Chinese bankers first…
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:48

Tennessee’s state drink is milk. Just happened. Can’t imagine how.

Considering the Jack Daniels distillery is actually in a dry county, that figures.
Another Kiwi said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:48

I am a performance art bird pun, you bustards
Barack Obama said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:51

What I meant to say is that because ~~our great captains of industry~~ overpaid white guys at Bank of America decided they wanted to ~~eat shitty assets~~ buy Merrill Lynch, they are crawling to Washington D.C. for another ~~hand-out~~ bail-out.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:53

Tennessee’s state drink is milk. Just happened. Can’t imagine how.
I just couldn’t believe that until I tried looking it up. WTF, like 3/4 of states that have official beverages – it’s milk. Fucking dairy farmer lobby.
Barack Obama said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:54

And I’ll give them the free money! Free money for GM and Chrysler, too!

HOPE ‘N CHANGE!

I really hope my Chinese bankers don’t call me on this!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:58

How the hell didn’t this musical biscuit find its way onto this thread before now?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:58

I am surprised that this thread made it so far without any mentions of Shrienking Harpies or chickenhawks.
The Blart said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:58

Blart!
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:58

Uh, were those pictures taken in the southern hemisphere?

Cuz it’s kinda cold up here right now.
MzNicky said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:58

Seriously, my dear Mr. Wangchuck. Even the dough-brains at my local “newspaper”‘s web site were braying about how the dairy lobby must surely have heavily financed the campaign of the goober who rammed this through. Hey, if that were the worst thing our legislators did it’d be fine by me. {deep shuddering sigh, indicating that such is unfortunately not the case}
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 2:59

ahemm…
Shell Goddamnit said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:01

The ice-cream vendors say to the gulls, “The first one is free, guys!”

“After that, you gotta be creative.”
MzNicky said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:01

I’d also like to pause at this moment and praise all current commenters for refraining from feeding the you-know-what(s). Excellent! Refreshingly marvelous. Never underestimate the power of a pun thread to repel the unwanted.

See how much better passive pwnage is? Ignoring the droppings is the best possible way to deal.
Barack Obama said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:04

HOPE

CHANGE

HOPE

CHANGE!

Free money from the Chinese for everyone!
Printing Presses said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:06

We’ll be revving up our output, too Barack! More and more paper…just watch out for the hyperinflation!
Barack Obama said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:06

I’ll be re-elected by the time the hyperinflation kicks in! SUCKERS!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:11

Teh real estate bubble peaked in 2005, Dow Jones.

Too bad you were too stupid to notice (as always…back in 1987, Treasury yields spiked well before the stock market movers and shakers, protected as they were by “portfolio insurance”, caught on.

And by “caught on”, I mean got caught.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:12

Sorry MzNicky, I was in Vegas for a week.

It’s outta me system, now.
| said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:13

while you minions carry the water and debate “history”, splitting hairs over Busch years of tax factors when most of those were deomcrat majorities holding the purse.

But you art doing your job well by trying to deflect the agrumen onto Bush and away from Obambi and his massive spending plans porked up further by miss piggy pelosi and reed the walrus.

only problem is that some people still look at facts and these facts are sickening no matter what “level headed” american would look at them.

Is it no wonder that all of this “must” be passed within days or weeks and not have a chance to be vetted via the web site set up for such information.. what is the number of that site Joe VP?

what a farce..VP a farce.. Finance cheif .. farce.. and seven others that did not pay the taxes they should have, buty will pay now that they are cought. sickening.

This is the change you expected??? liars, stealing your money? Tax cheats in high places?.. lobbylists given presidential advice?..

I thought we heard something about these things before the elections which stated that this nes most transparent administration woule not be saddled with these issues.
A good leader would have at least gotten that simple message to the troopds…. oh well, maybe they didn’t listen and will all be fired by tomorrow by this decisive new president?

We’ll be watching… My guess is that it will nev4r happen. SCOTT FREE ON ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. PICK UP YOUR PAYCHECK ON FRIDAY. GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD. (screw the american public.. Did they really believe in the things I was saying to get elected???

tell em to grow up and get in the welfare lines and soup kitchens we are setting up. and we will feed them well… so long as they continue to support me and my decisions.

change…change..change
| said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:13

while you minions carry the water and debate “history”, splitting hairs over Busch years of tax factors when most of those were deomcrat majorities holding the purse.

But you art doing your job well by trying to deflect the agrumen onto Bush and away from Obambi and his massive spending plans porked up further by miss piggy pelosi and reed the walrus.

only problem is that some people still look at facts and these facts are sickening no matter what “level headed” american would look at them.

Is it no wonder that all of this “must” be passed within days or weeks and not have a chance to be vetted via the web site set up for such information.. what is the number of that site Joe VP?

what a farce..VP a farce.. Finance cheif .. farce.. and seven others that did not pay the taxes they should have, buty will pay now that they are cought. sickening.

This is the change you expected??? liars, stealing your money? Tax cheats in high places?.. lobbylists given presidential advice?..

I thought we heard something about these things before the elections which stated that this nes most transparent administration woule not be saddled with these issues.
A good leader would have at least gotten that simple message to the troopds…. oh well, maybe they didn’t listen and will all be fired by tomorrow by this decisive new president?

We’ll be watching… My guess is that it will nev4r happen. SCOTT FREE ON ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. PICK UP YOUR PAYCHECK ON FRIDAY. GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD. (screw the american public.. Did they really believe in the things I was saying to get elected???

tell em to grow up and get in the welfare lines and soup kitchens we are setting up. and we will feed them well… so long as they continue to support me and my decisions.

change…change. .change
Liberal Liars said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:13

while you minions carry the water and debate “history”, splitting hairs over Busch years of tax factors when most of those were deomcrat majorities holding the purse.

But you art doing your job well by trying to deflect the agrumen onto Bush and away from Obambi and his massive spending plans porked up further by miss piggy pelosi and reed the walrus.

only problem is that some people still look at facts and these facts are sickening no matter what “level headed” american would look at them.

Is it no wonder that all of this “must” be passed within days or weeks and not have a chance to be vetted via the web site set up for such information.. what is the number of that site Joe VP?

what a farce..VP a farce.. Finance cheif .. farce.. and seven others that did not pay the taxes they should have, buty will pay now that they are cought. sickening.

This is the change you expected??? liars, stealing your money? Tax cheats in high places?.. lobbylists given presidential advice?..

I thought we heard something about these things before the elections which stated that this nes most transparent administration woule not be saddled with these issues.
A good leader would have at least gotten that simple message to the troopds…. oh well, maybe they didn’t listen and will all be fired by tomorrow by this decisive new president?

We’ll be watching… My guess is that it will nev4r happen. SCOTT FREE ON ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. PICK UP YOUR PAYCHECK ON FRIDAY. GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD. (screw the american public.. Did they really believe in the things I was saying to get elected???

tell em to grow up and get in the welfare lines and soup kitchens we are setting up. and we will feed them well… so long as they continue to support me and my decisions.

change…change..change
Snorghagen said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:14

WTF, like 3/4 of states that have official beverages – it’s milk.

Nobody picked absinthe? Nobody picked liquefied chicken fat? Nobody picked magnesium citrate? Don’t these clowns have any imagination?
Jennifer said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:17

Isn’t New Jersey’s state drink Polysorbate 80?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:19

Alabama picked Brawndo
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:21

Alabama got whiskey and Nebraska chose Kool-Aid?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:21

California has no official beverage?

They should pick wine, and be cool.
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:22

Wikipedia sez California’s is wine.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:23

Don’t these clowns have any imagination?
Nobody picked that watered down piss that Americans call “beer” – nobody picked Mountain Dew Code Red depite the sponsorship offers – nobody picked the tears of innocent children…
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:24

Maine got Moxie.
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:25

Moxie was said to cure ailments ranging from softening of the brain to “loss of manhood.” In 1884, it was sold in carbonated form and merchandised as an invigorating drink, which claimed to endow the drinker with “spunk”.[4]
Jennifer said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:27

I think Oklahoma’s state drink is Yoohoo. Just as crappy as their state.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:29

Fucking New York’s official state beverage is milk. MILK FOR FUCKS SAKE!

What about Long Island Iced Tea, what about Manhattans, what about Upper New York State winery grown manischewitz that reeks of fucking dirty socks and honey? What about the tears of ~~innocent children~~ Red Sox fans? What about that watered down piss you’re supposed to drink with Buffalo Wings? What the hell is it about milk?
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:30

Milk again for Oklahoma.
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:32

Let us here note that The Man seems to have no regard for CHOCOLATE MILK. Why’s that, huh?
Hardcore Pr0n said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:33

Hey, drinking BRAWNDO makes you WIN AT YELLING.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:34

Why’s that, huh?
Well coffee milk is kinda close.
Hardcore Pr0n said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:35

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbxq0IDqD04

Not a Rickroll.
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:37

Well coffee milk is kinda close.

That looks somewhat, um, drinkable.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:37

Not a Rickroll.
Sure, but still totally false advertising – considering your handle.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:42

There’s this asian coffee beverage thing where they drip brew this super-strong espresso-like stuff right into a glass with sweetened condensed milk in it. Sometimes it’s served with ice. Normally I like my coffee with just coffee in it – but this stuff is way better than a kick in the pants.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:43

Moxie makes Mainers mighty.

The outrageous health claims put forth by the patent medicine and soft drink manufacturers led to the creation of the Pure Food and Drug Act of 1906.

Check out the first photo here, of the Moxie Mobile. Even the Goddamn Batman would look on it and feel a pang of jealousy.

I stock up on Moxie every time I go up to Maine, and still have a six-pack left in the fridge. It tastes kinda like root beer cut with a hint of battery acid. It’s flavored with purple gentian root, which lends it a distinctly bitter aftertaste.
Loneoak said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:50

That looks somewhat, um, drinkable.

I would totally throw a couple shots of Kahlua in that. Nom.

The official state drink of Galt’s Gulch is urine martinis, served dirty.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:50

What about Long Island Iced Tea, what about Manhattans, what about Upper New York State winery grown manischewitz that reeks of fucking dirty socks and honey?

Hell, DKW, an Egg Cream would be preferable to milk… and ditto on the espresso with sweetened condensed milk. I stock up on cans of Magnolia in the summer for just that purpose.
Arky said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:51

I had to look this up because I couldn’t believe, but it’s true: the official state bird of Utah is the California gull.

I wish they all could be California gulls.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:53

It tastes kinda like root beer cut with a hint of battery acid.
Is it anything like chinotto? Dragon-King lurves hisself some Brio with his pizza. Mmm mmm yum.
SomeNYGuy said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:53

Arky, that was beautiful.
mikey said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:53

I used to have a bunch of vietnamese techs (woulda been mid ’90s). They would take me to these little restaurants and Pho houses over around Tully in San Jose. And “desert” was “vietnamese Coffee” (pronounced “veenamese coffee”). It was exactly what you describe. They bring out this little drip pot and set it on top of your glass and you leave it to brew and drip while you eat. DARK French Roast.

Then, when you’re done eating, you put the sweetened condensed milk in it and GODDAM is it delicious. And potent. Your scalp crawls while you rocknroll thru the afternoon…

mikey
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 3:59

That’s the stuff. You slowly make your way through a bowl of Pho as big as your head, slurping noodles and shovelling the raw beef to the side so it doesn’t overcook. Mysterious hunks of goo that the restaurant calls “tendon” floating around. Totally amazing unless they put cilantro in it.

And then the coffee. With the sweet and thick and dark and yum. That. Is. The. Stuff.
Snorghagen said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:07

nobody picked the tears of innocent children…

I can see it now…

(Crowded, boisterous political assembly) “Mistah speaker!” (The speaker bangs his gavel and calls the hall to order) “MIStah Speakerrr! The del-e-gates from Crouton County pro-posssse that the GRRREAT state of Mon-TANA adopt as its OH-ficial beverage the CLEAR and SPARK-ling TEARS of INNN-o-cent CHIL-drun!!!” (Hundreds of delegates jumping to their feet, loud cheers, banging gavel, pandemonium)
stryx said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:07

OK mikey, you live in Greater Mexico.

How about a horchata?

They call it milk.
OneMan said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:09

I know I’m late but I had to take some time to quail from your bad puns.
for example said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:18

If a troll were to make its usual points about Jena 6 and Prop 8 and S. Africa and the impending Black take-over of America USING A SERIES OF AVIAN PUNS then one might feel obliged to engage and even applaud said troll.

This does not appear to be happening, however.
mikey said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:18

I go to a place called Baja Cactus down on Main Street.

Always get a Horchata with my Birria de Chivo en Sopa.

And REAL goddam tortillas….

mikey
jim said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:22

*attempts to construct pterodactyl pun*
*fails*
*curses*
Barack Obama said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:25

Mmm, the tears of Republicans are soooooooooo sweet!

Sure I’ll have some more … & can I have a straw this time, please?
DAS said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:29

There is something very Leda and Zeus about these pictures,
mikey said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:34

Oh, and Barack?

The Budget Reconciliation process allows for the rejection of a Filibuster or any supermajority in the Senate.

So we don’t, quite frankly, care what Eric Cantor and his top, Rush Limbaugh, think.

Essentially, fuck a whole bunch of those cocksuckers…

mikey
jim said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:36

A booby, a pterodactyl & a dodo walk into a bar …
(insert “humor” here)
… why, that was no pterodactyl, that was my archaeopteryx!

(Thanks! I’ll be here all decade! Try the tentacles!)
The Chinese said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:39

Better hope we don’t start dumping those treasury bonds, Barack.
Question said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:43

Who is John Galt?
The Authentic said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:47

I have another question for you libs. Why do you think Obambi is such a socialist?

And my second question to all you libs is: Why do I have strange dreams about large sausages being shoved into my ass when I go to sleep after seeing negro basketball players on TV?
Snorghagen said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:50

Pie is indeed delicious.
Similarities Anyone? said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:52

Many observers have noted that the sequence of events in “Atlas Shrugged” bear a striking resemblance to the 2008 American financial crisis. Large financial institutions with shaky balance sheets such as Citigroup, Bear Stearns, and Bank of America that received government bailouts are contrasted with smaller regional banks that have soundly withstood the financial slowdown. Weak car makers General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler are contrasted with non-unionized car manufacturers such as Toyota, Honda, and Volkswagen. In both of these instances, the “worker,” more efficient companies bear the strong possibility of being more heavily taxed and regulated by the government while the “looter” companies receive monetary assistance from the government.
stryx said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:53

One of my favorite trips was a visiting a friend in San Francisco.

Burritos, horchatas, Pho and Thai coffee.

And red snapper tacos.

Can’t forget the tacos.
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:55

Many observers have noted that the sequence of events in “Atlas Shrugged” bear a striking resemblance to the 2008 American financial crisis. Large financial institutions with shaky balance sheets such as Citigroup, Bear Stearns, and Bank of America that received government bailouts are contrasted with smaller regional banks that have soundly withstood the financial slowdown. Weak car makers General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler are contrasted with non-unionized car manufacturers such as Toyota, Honda, and Volkswagen. In both of these instances, the “worker,” more efficient companies bear the strong possibility of being more heavily taxed and regulated by the government while the “looter” companies receive monetary assistance from the government.

Interesting, but I didn’t any avian puns. So, FAIL.
Alan Cumming said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:56

Many observers have noted that the sequence of events in “Atlas Shrugged” bear a striking resemblance to the 2008 American financial crisis.

Many observers have also noted my striking resemblance to Ayn Rand.
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:56

“I didn’t see,” naturally.
The Birds said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:57

“I didn’t see,” naturally.

Well you’ll have to be more observant or we’ll snatch the fucking ice cream cone right out of your hands.
A passing swan said,

March 4, 2009 at 4:59

Take me to your Leda!
Joanne Worley said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:01

Was that a chicken joke?
Smut Clyde said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:02

The national drink of New Zealand is the tears of clowns. Or was it Stones Green Ginger Wine?
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:03

Sorry, I’ll try not to let it happen again. My mind must have flown the coop.
SomeNYGuy said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:04

I think this thread is just about finched.
Pinnocchio said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:06

I have a wood pecker.
Another Kiwi said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:08

A booby, a pterodactyl & a dodo walk into a bar …

The barman says “Why the long face?”, so they eat him.

Perusing the TV guide we find:
“Maul in the Family” Archaeopteryx Bunker and his wife Edith muddle through their annual migration to Europe, where Archaeopteryx manages to upset everyone he meets, so he eats them.
Moochers and Looters said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:08

We’re King in BHO’s America
Cable Guide said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:11

Idiot troll can’t even spell HBO correctly.
Andrew said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:12

jim:

*attempts to construct pterodactyl pun*
*fails*
*curses*

Better a dactylogram on your plate than a clawprint in your ice-cream.
Cable Guide said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:13

Stupid troll can’t even spell HBO correctly.
Oxycontin & Dominican Underage Males said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:14

We’re King in Rush’s America. After he becomes the official head of the RNC every republican will be required to bugger at least 5 boys and become even more of a drug addict than they already are.
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:14

We’re King in BHO’s America

Well, you gotta admit, Limbaugh’s set himself up pretty well as the “leader of the opposition.”
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:15

Dammit I always get beat to the punch around here!
Link Please said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:16

Link about what you accused Limbaugh of doing in the DR, or it didn’t happen.
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:17

Dove stew, San Antonio style

Head out of an afternoon to the hill country. Grab yer shotgun from the Land Rover and walk up near the tank. Shoot the little fuckers as they fly in*. Double kills score bonus points (bonus points aint good for shit, ‘cept for arguin who’s got most of em). After ya shoot twenty or so of the little shits, pull a beer from the cooler and bs fer a while.

Head for home and toss the birds in the garage. Next day, rip the breasts out of ‘em. They aint nuttin to a dove but the breast meat so jes turn on the hose and rip those out of em and toss em in a bowl or somethin.

Dry the cleaned breasts and season with salt, pepper and a dash of cayenne. Toss a few tablespoons butter into a 2 inch deep pan and bring to medium heat. Add the birds and cook slowly for several minutes – don’t brown them, just cook gently. Remove the meat to a bowl and cover with foil. Increase heat to medium high, add another dollop of butter or oil and and some quartered button mushrooms. Big plus if you can toss in a handful of “wild” shrooms too – shitake and chanterelle are good, morels would be fantastic. Saute the shrooms until they exude their juices. Add some chopped onion and crushed garlic, cook until softened. Add some dry white wine (dry french vermouth is my go-to bottle) to deglaze. Return dove meat to pan. Add some nic herbs like rosemary, thyme, savory, whatever you like. Herbes de provence is perfect. Add a cup or two of meat stock and bring just to a gentle simmer. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for an hour or so. Add one cup heavy cream and increase heat to gentle boil. Reduce slightly. Garni and serve.

*It’s kind of like shooting trap knowing when a target is about to be available. Most people cal it “dove hunting” but I always referred to it as “dove shooting” which seemed more accurate.
Dominican Underage Males said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:18

At least Rush gave us some lotion for our sore asses after he was through with us. But it was more sore from irritation than from invasive injury since his wee-wee is indeed very wee.
SomeNYGuy said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:19

Why would you dry clean the breasts?
Dick Cheney said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:19

Can I use that dove recipe with another, more human type of meat?

Just askin’!
Rightwingsnarkle said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:20

Like the old proverb says:

For children, a woman;
For pleasure, a boy;
But for Rush Limbaugh, one jar of Viagra, another of Oxycontin, a tube of AstroGlide, three twelve year old boys, a large sack of White Castle wolf cookies, a couple of pints of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, a few cigars, and a ride home.
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:21

WITHOUT knowing when the target will fly…. fuck fuck fuck
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:26

Dick Cheney,

Techniques for preparing “long pork” are available at http://www.RNC.org
Arky said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:27

A booby, a pterodactyl & a dodo walk into a bar …

Did somebody mention barred owls?
Rush Limbaugh said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:28

I love it when negroes polish my knob. Especially uppity ones who think they run the RNC.
Nosfer-Blart-Two said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:30

I will not budgie from the thrush of this argument.
Candy said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:31

Seagulls are not only disgusting, filthy creatures, they’re mean. Everyone in Seattle has a scary gull-encounter story to tell.

Still, I really miss waking up early in the morning on Pill Hill in Seattle, and lying there in the quiet listening to the gulls crying down by the Sound. We have lake gulls here but it ain’t the same . . .

Making a good pun is a real feather in the cap, but I’ll sparrow you the bad puns. I do think we should preserve eagality between good and bad puns. Even talonted folks can make a bad one now and then, and it’s said that even a wingnut may soar like he’s never soared before, sometimes. At least, that’s what Ashcroft says.

I really need to watch myself like a hawk.
Bird Name Department said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:34

The “lark” will henceforth be known as the “blark”.

That is all.
Link Please said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:35

Still no link. I see it is more baseless liberal accusations.
Candy said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:35

A booby, a pterodactyl & a dodo walk into a bar …

Did somebody mention barred owls?

Arky is on fire! You really have something to crow about!

Maybe we should cool the bird puns though. It seems kind of mean, mocking birds like this.
Lesley said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:35

You think that’s bad, how about having your liver ripped out by a nose-diving crow while you’re sitting peacefully on your lilly pad.
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:38

Still no link. I see it is more baseless liberal accusations.

Okay, I don’t think you’re grasping the concept, so I’ll help. Instead of what you wrote above, you should have gone with this:

“Still no link. I see that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”
mikey said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:39

PeeJ, you got a thing going on with the Vermouth and the Herbs de Province.

It’s like a signature.

I do much the same with quail, but I do it a little more carefully. You can gut ‘em and pluck ‘em and get the breasts, the legs and the thighs (mmm, DARK meat). I like to do a REAL rustic polenta with the quail, along with some kind of quick bread like Soda bread or Biscuits.

Wilted spinach salad with a hot bacon vinaigrette is pretty much the perfect counterpoint…

mikey
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:39

Crisped Least Weasel with Shredded Mature Goudas

I didn’t have a name for this stuff so my boyfriend’s friend named it the Mother of All Turdstarters. It is. Make sure to get a big glass of milk.

Ingredients:
1 least weasel, restlessly crisped
1 cup mature Gouda
1 hopeful baby gouda, alliteratively buttered
3 ounces angry mudminnow skull
5 jiggers maple syrup
1 can coffee

Lustfully grease a cookie sheet. Separate least weasel thorax from liver. Discard liver. Use a food processor to mix the baby gouda with the mature Gouda. Drip resulting potion over the least weasel. Dry – very onwards – the mudminnow skull, maple syrup, and the coffee. Pile the latter combination on to the former. Bake for 120 hours. Serves 6.
Pigeon Please said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:40

Still no pigeon.
Rush Limbaugh's 3 ex-wives said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:41

We all got BIGGGG payoffs to keep quiet after our divorces about the fact that Rush never fucked any of us.
Dow Jones Index said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:42

How far down will I go tomorrow?

Dear Leader says I don’t matter, but what about all the Americans that hold stocks and 401(k)s?
The Lovely Kea said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:43

I am both a car* and a vicious sheep-eating bird!

* phonetically
Candy said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:44

You think that’s bad, how about having your liver ripped out by a nose-diving crow while you’re sitting peacefully on your lilly pad.

Holy crow!

This guy can relate.
Smut Clyde said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:44

“Only once the liver is gone does the toad realise it’s been attacked. It puffs itself up as a natural defence mechanism. But since it doesn’t have a diaphragm or ribs, without the liver there is nothing to hold the rest of its organs in. The lungs stretch out of all proportion and rip; the rest of the organs simply expel themselves.”

Is this meant to be some sort of metaphor for the Republican party?
MzNicky said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:44

At the same time that milk was designated Tennessee’s state beverage, agate became the official state mineral. Whoever once postulated that the glorious border state’s representatives did not act in their constituents’ best interests was clearly WRONG, for what could ever be more important than this?
Karl Rove said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:45

Should I ignore 2 or 3 Congressional subpoenas today?

Being a Republican Fatcat means laws are for little people, AKA “republican voters”.
The Democrat Congress said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:47

We’re just trying to distract people from our mis-handling of the economy, massive deficits, and broken campaign promises Karl. Can’t you please please PLEASE provide us with a show trial to distract the proles?
Prometheus said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:47

Ow, quit it!

Ow, quit it!

Ow, quit it!
Karl Rove said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:50

Laws are for Democrats, not for Fatcat Republicans. Dems can’t touch me or they might get some anthrax mysteriously mailed to them, have their plane crash, or commit suicide.
Candy said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:50

I hate white milk. I’d rather eat a seagull, or a pigeon.

I don’t think Iowa has a state beverage. If we ever adopt one, I suspect it will be ethanol.
Snorghagen said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:51

Not one single state has chosen the dung beetle as the official state insect. Not one!
The Authentic said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:52

I never cared about the stock markets when The Chimperor was prez Now that O is prez I find that I can’t stop obsessing about debentures even though I know financial instruments don’t represent the whole economy. Please shoot me Mr. Cheney, so that I might know again the simple peace of Republican off-budget accounting.
Candy said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:52

Although it should be Templeton Rye.
Dick Cheney said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:52

Deficits don’t matter.
The Democrat Congress said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:53

We REALLY need to give you a Stalin-esque show trial to distract the country while we loot the treasury for welfare parasites (aka our supports).

Come on, Karl. PLEASE!?
Thrillhouse said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:53

I think they were just trying to combat the effects of global warming. At least that could be the case if they’re British birds.
Barack Obama said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:53

I’ve spent more in one month than Bush and Cheney did in a year.
Willow said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:54

Bird now.
The Authentic said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:54

The official red-state beverage is holy water. But not that papist piss, I mean the genuine Christian holy water!
The Republicans said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:56

Forcing Karl Rove to testify is a Stalin-esque show trial but when Clinton lied about getting a blow job is was the CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS OF OUR TIME!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:57

Bird now.

Win!
Barack Obama said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:57

Who knew clearing up other people’s messes was expensive?
Republican Presidents said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:58

We love ruining America’s economy and then having our tools, AKA republican voters, blame it on the Democrat who follows us and has to fix the mess.
Finch said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:58

What, no love for me?
Snorghagen said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:59

No feedum troll.
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 5:59

Pill Hill in Seattle
I need to investigate this appellation. There’s a Pill Hill in Portland, I am unaware of all Seattle traditions.

mikey,
Yeah, the Herbs de P is pretty much my stock in trade. I like to mix my own. I go a little heavy on the lavender and like to use savory in the mix. Summer savory is a hugely underappreciated herb.

The vermouth thing I got from St. Julia but it was strongly reinforced by noted Fat Lady Clarissa Dickson Wright. I keep two bottles on hand at all times. (Noilly Pratt is the only one to use) One in the liquor cabinet, one next to the range. Clarissa, an alcoholic, said she used it because she had no temptation to drink it, it was only good for cooking. Any time a recipe calls for dry white wine, vermouth works perfectly. Sometimes, exquisitely well.
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:02

What’s the word?
We're still waiting said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:03

I’ve had more blackbirds baked in a pie in one month than Bush and Cheney had in one year.
The Authentic said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:04

Obama said that America would leave Iraq in 16 months and during the campaign the Republicans claimed he wouldn’t EVER do it, he couldn’t EVER leave Iraq. Now Obama says its going to take 19 months to leave. Doesn’t that just piss you libs off? Doesn’t it make you livid that it might take 3 more months? Weren’t the Republicans correct when we said he was lying because we said he would NEVER leave Iraq? Aren’t you furious? How about now?
Candy said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:05

Pill Hill is more or less First Hill, PeeJ. It’s nicknamed Pill Hill because there are like three medical centers in the area. A good friend of mine lives right by Swedish. It’s a great place to live, except I always joke that when it’s icy she could walk out to the street, slip, and wind up in the Sound. That is some hilly shit around that neighborhood.

I miss Seattle. I’ll have to listen to Lanegan’s Pill Hill Serenade before I go to bed.
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:05

Methinks the lame trolls is catching on, that is to say what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
Troll Report said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:05

Bird puns — still too hard, report scientists

“A cup of coffee might do the trick,” suggested Dr Gail Nighting. “Try the Nest-café.”
Republican Presidents said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:06

We couldn’t help ourselves when we make our plans to bankrupt America.

Really, we can’t. Since Republicans naturally hate America, we want to destroy it. And we always get soooooo close but then some lousy effective Democrat Preisdent has to get elected and set back our plans to end America.
The Authentic's Mother played by Angela Lansbury said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:06

Why don’t you pass the time with a game of solitaire?
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:09

PDFTT

Thank you.
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:12

I didn’t have a name for this stuff so my boyfriend’s friend named it…

Is there something you’d like to share with us? Or perhaps your wife?
SomeNYGuy said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:13

Is there something you’d like to share with us? Or perhaps your wife?

Why would he share his wife with us? We’re gay.
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:18

Obama said that America would leave Iraq in 16 months and during the campaign the Republicans claimed he wouldn’t EVER do it, he couldn’t EVER leave Iraq. Now Obama says its going to take 19 months to leave. Doesn’t that just piss you libs off? Doesn’t it make you livid that it might take 3 more months? Weren’t the Republicans correct when we said he was lying because we said he would NEVER leave Iraq? Aren’t you furious? How about now?

Heh. Fake troll is actually funny.
Snorghagen said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:19

What’s the word?

Thank you for reminding me of that fine piece of music. It’s every bit as sophistomocated as this masterpiece.
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:20

Limbaugh, whose Octomom-like ubiquity is ensured some significant extension thanks to his use of the term “Butt Boy”

Jake Tapper is the one guy who’s outside the buttboy bubble – RushiePoo

Um, Rush, you old fat queen? That’s “bubble butt boy.” Christ, had you come out of your massive closet you’d know these very basic things. If you had any class or larnin, you’d use the corrsct word, that being “callipygian.” In contrast to your own steatopygean pilonidalist cysteanism.
SomeNYGuy said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:23

Methinks the callipygians are coming home to roost.
OneMan said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:23

“*attempts to construct pterodactyl pun*”

Troofie: to avoid an asshole pterodactyl your last comments.
Barack Obama said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:25

I’ll be a miserable one-term failure as President, if I even make it through one term without resigning or impeachment.

The thought of Biden being President is even scarier huh? Too bad!
Candy said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:26

In addition to this being Square Root Day, it also seems to be Punday. Even PZ has been rockin’ the puns.
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:29

I guess now’s as good as any to bust out this.
SomeNYGuy said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:31

Why would Obama be impeached? He inherited Bush’s mistakes and disasters, not his high crimes and misdemeanors.
handy said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:33

Why would Obama be impeached? He inherited Bush’s mistakes and disasters, not his high crimes and misdemeanors.

What makes you think the Republicans won’t try it anyway?
SomeNYGuy said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:36

What makes you think the Republicans won’t try it anyway?

I suppose so. In L.A. they could nail him for driving while black.
The Bush Campaign Team said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:38

It’s rumored that Barack Obama has fathered two black children!!!

Pass it on.
Blago said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:40

“Why would Obama be impeached? ”

LOL! Just wait until the Chicago ick bubbles up.
Barack Obama, 2012 said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:44

I rose quickly and to great heights, and my fall will be just as quick and steep.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:45

“Why would Obama be impeached? ”

Brain dead pukes R brain dead.
Joe Biden said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:45

Hey whats that uh, whats the number of the website I’m in charge of?
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 6:55

iamb torn to tears
I suffer a couplet of fears
anapest has beset me
as my muscles respondee

Oh feet! Oh toes!
I suffer these woes
I never meant to tear
oh dactyl so fair
to tear you , oh dactyl, to tear.

Nay, cease you’re a paeon
not a meter, not nearly so long
Frost has limned you in rime
the pain! A dolorous song.

Now watch as our fair nurse puts on it,
the cure, an ionic tonic
Dr. Jazs said,

March 4, 2009 at 7:05

In Los Angeles, we call the area where the croakers congregate “Bed Pan Alley.”
Mandos said,

March 4, 2009 at 7:19

I go away for a few hours and I miss all the good puns.
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 7:32

*sshhhhshhh*

Don’t look now – it’s working. It’s working.
Loneoak said,

March 4, 2009 at 7:42

WHAT’S WORKING PEEJ? HUH? I CAN’T HEAR YOU WHEN YOU ARE WHISPERING LIKE THAT! IS THAT SOME SORT OF FISH PUN?
Me said,

March 4, 2009 at 7:43

*sshhhhshhh*

Don’t look now – it’s working. It’s working.

Not if they’re getting paid by the word.
OneMan said,

March 4, 2009 at 7:43

“I miss all the good puns.”

Some would say there are no good puns.
The Authentic said,

March 4, 2009 at 7:45

What you liberals don’t understand is that I EAT POOP.
James K Polk, Esq. said,

March 4, 2009 at 7:47

Peej, thanks for that book recommendation. It’s fantastically beautiful as well…
Anne Laurie said,

March 4, 2009 at 7:48

Not one single state has chosen the dung beetle as the official state insect. Not one!

On the other hand (the gloved one), the RNC seems to have enshrined the World’s Biggest Dung Beetle as their Spokesinsect.
sarah said,

March 4, 2009 at 7:51

you all are total condor*ks.

it really didn’t take long for this thread to get all punny, did it?

(*amazing condor fact! when they get really hungry, they sometimes swoop down and PLUCK A SHEEP OFF THE HILLSIDE!)
Snorghagen said,

March 4, 2009 at 7:55

the RNC seems to have enshrined the World’s Biggest Dung Beetle as their Spokesinsect.

He does keep those balls of shit rolling along, doesn’t he?
Lawnguylander said,

March 4, 2009 at 8:15

Leave. The World’s Biggest Dung Beetle. ALONE!
PeeJ said,

March 4, 2009 at 8:22

There’s a reason Peter Daou doesn’t have a WH job. To wit, he put his loser, old think strategy to work for an old think loser.

Also, to Mr. Polk, you’re most welcome! I’m delighted to share – even proselytize – my fortuitous finds.
Lawnguylander said,

March 4, 2009 at 8:32

And thanks Big bad and handy for the links.
Dr. Jazs said,

March 4, 2009 at 9:21

297.
Lesley said,

March 4, 2009 at 10:01

Greg Rutter’s Definitive List of The 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On The Internet Unless You’re a Loser or Old or Something
http://www.youshouldhaveseenthis.com/

Evidently I am old and a loser.
Dr. Jazs said,

March 4, 2009 at 10:14

Nothing wrong w/ being mature, & staying away from the rat race. I’ve experienced half that crap on telebision. Wait a minute, that makes me really old & a loser.
Dr. Jazs said,

March 4, 2009 at 10:14

300!
The Authoritah said,

March 4, 2009 at 11:03

Hey libs, your rude puns won’t save you when the awesome El Rushbo Gigante leads the GOP to an Oxycontin-fueled REBIRTH in 2010!

–>insert “cardinal rule” pun here<–
jim said,

March 4, 2009 at 11:18

Evidently I am old and a loser.

Uh oh.
I’m old, a loser, out of touch & too ambivalent to give a fuck.
What do I win?
Mother in Diner said,

March 4, 2009 at 11:35

Many observers have noted that the sequence of events in “Atlas Shrugged” bear a striking resemblance to the 2008 American financial crisis.

Many observers have also noticed that “Atlas Shrugs” bears a striking resemblance to a novel written many years earlier:

The 1922 novel The Driver by Garet Garrett tells the story of an entrepreneur, who, through his own vision and work ethic, takes over a failing railway, turning it into a hugely productive and profitable asset for the benefit of himself and the rest of the nation. Unable to see what he has achieved in turning his own business and the wider economy around from recession to boom, and blinded by the intense wealth and power he leads as a result, the general population and government turn against him, ultimately destroying him instead of celebrating his success. There is speculation on whether the work had any influence on Rand’s depiction of Galt in Atlas Shrugged or if it was simply coincidence.[2] In The Driver, the central character is Henry Galt, whereas in Atlas Shrugged the main character is John Galt. In The Driver, at one point, the question is asked “Who is Henry Galt?”. In Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand made this a major theme of her book, as many central and peripheral characters ask the question “Who is John Galt?”.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Galt

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be more irresponsible not to.
commie atheist said,

March 4, 2009 at 11:36

Mother in Diner is so, like, eight hours ago.
Smut Clyde said,

March 4, 2009 at 11:44

I’m old, a loser, and I have too many cats. Beat that.
M. Bouffant said,

March 4, 2009 at 11:45

I think the only thing gotten/won from being older & “dull” is watching the hep & exciting die young.
M. Bouffant said,

March 4, 2009 at 11:49

Aw, can’t have too many cats.

Are the Frau & Spawn nothing? Or part of the losing?
Smut Clyde said,

March 4, 2009 at 11:53

According to Mehitabel the Abyssinian, any number of cats more than her is “too many”.
The Frau & Doktorling are indeed central to my point.
M. Bouffant said,

March 4, 2009 at 12:33

Here’s some controversy:

Worst shitholes in America. Do you live in one?

Top 10 unhappiest American cities

1. Portland, Ore.

2. St. Louis

3. New Orleans

4. Detroit

5. Cleveland

6. Jacksonville, Fla.

7. Las Vegas

8. Nashville-Davidson, Tenn.

9. Cincinnati

10. Atlanta

Nothing personal. Just saying.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

March 4, 2009 at 13:10

Good Morning all! You know what they say about the early bird. Mmm worms.

OT (like that’s even possible at this point) – as much as I think that Paul Begala is a huge seething mass of Village idiocy, I gotta say the “All praise Rush” meme is pretty solid. And it’s nice to see the Dem insiders on the offense. This piece of snark is pretty sweet – although it’s also kinda funny that the best hit the Dems have scored in such a long time is an apology.
WereBear said,

March 4, 2009 at 14:14

I think this Rush thing is brilliant. He’s their mouthpiece for sick and twisted stuff, and when called on it, they fall all over themselves saying, “He’s a radio shock jock! He’s an entertainer!”

Why are they apologizing to him, then?
stryx said,

March 4, 2009 at 14:17

Lustfully grease a cookie sheet.

I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Caliph Garrett said,

March 4, 2009 at 14:24

Many observers have noted that the sequence of events in “Atlas Shrugged” bear a striking resemblance to the 2008 American financial crisis.

And if you synch it up with Dark Side of the Moon on a quad set, you’ll trip your balls off.
LittlePig said,

March 4, 2009 at 15:11

2000-2008 bore a striking resemblance to Revolt in 2100. Yet we managed to throw out the yoke of theocracy without bloodshed.
Rusty Shackleford said,

March 4, 2009 at 16:42

Top 10 unhappiest American cities

1. Portland, Ore.

They shouldn’t have collected their data between November and March.
Righteous Bubba said,

March 4, 2009 at 16:50

Leave. The World’s Biggest Dung Beetle. ALONE!

Those who enjoy embarrassing themselves on video should note that there is no “LEAVE RUSH ALONE” on YouTube.
Rusty Shackleford said,

March 4, 2009 at 17:19

Those who enjoy embarrassing themselves on video should note that there is no “LEAVE RUSH ALONE” on YouTube.

Replace “YouTube” with “FOX News” and it’s on 24/7
Duros62 said,

March 5, 2009 at 1:05

Maine got Moxie.

That shit is nasty.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,

March 5, 2009 at 1:31

Worst shitholes in America. Do you live in one?

I live in one. But just stay the fuck out of downtown (especially after dark) and you should be okay.
Sirius Lunacy said,

March 6, 2009 at 16:37

I have two birds. My Cockatoo hates anything cold. He will not touch fruit or veggies that have been in the fridge until they warm to room temperature. My Indian Ringneck loves cold food. Even though she always has an ample supply of fresh water she much prefers the ice water that’s in my glass. And she’s absolutely crazy for ice cream! She can recognize the sound of a scoop dipping into ice cream from three rooms away. She would probably eat a whole quart in one sitting and explode if I let her. But the real fun is when both birds are around when I’m eating ice cream. The Ringneck will happily pig out and the Cockatoo will watch till he decides there must be something good he is missing and tries the ice cream. He will then shake his head and spray ice cream about the place, look indignant and wipe his beak on my shirt. Of course he will try again with same results over and over. In fact he’s kinda like a wingnut, he just doesn’t learn.

Metaphors For Our Corporate Overlords

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