Go Me! It’s My Motherfuckin’ Birthday!
Yes, I turn 26 today. As my present to you, the Sadly, No! reader, here’s a nifty little article from AgapePress:
Family Advocate Claims ACLU Seeks to Turn Kids Into Pro-Homosexual Activists
By Jim Brown
September 9, 2005(AgapePress) – An Ohio pro-family activist warns that the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) is disseminating information in an effort that is creating confrontational pro-homosexual student activists. A website for the organization’s Lesbian and Gay Rights Project offers students a “Know Your Rights” card and refers to laws that purportedly protect homosexual behavior.
Here (PDF) is the ACLU’s dreaded “Know Your Rights” document for homosexual students. I’ll quote a few passages here just to show you how insidious it is:
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) student often face discrimination and harassment in their schools. Unfortunately, many school officials know very little about how the law requires them to protect LGBT students.
Oh please. If we can’t bully the gays, soon we’ll have to stop bullying the nerdy and the overweight. What’s the point of going to school if you can’t dump on people who are different from everybody else? It’s like Jesus said: “The meek shall inherit the Earth, but until then we get to flush their heads down the crapper.”
Anyway, here’s what the Anti-Christ Lovers’ Union has to say about the so-called “harassment” the so-called “gay kids” may, quote-unquote, “face”:
Anti-gay harassment is one of the most pervasive, frightening, and potentially damaging threats LGBT students face in our public schools. If you’re being bullied, called names, threatened, or physically harmed at your school because of your sexual orientation, you don’t have to take it!
Yes they do, dammit! You gotta understand, most of the big dumb jocks who are beating up the gay kids are gonna spend the rest of their lives working at minimum wage jobs, a la Al Bundy! Picking on queers and playing football are the only fond memories they’ll have! Please, don’t take that away from them!
At any rate, I think we’ve sampled quite enough of this vile, anti-God document. Let’s go back to AgapePress:
Linda Harvey, head of the conservative group Mission America, contends that the information the ACLU’s homosexual rights advocates are providing through the site is somewhat distorted. “They say, for instance, that you have a federal constitutional right to express your sexual orientation,” she notes. “I don’t think that exists, unless I’m misinformed. I don’t see that anywhere in our Constitution.”
Yes, you have no right under the First Amendment to come out and say, “I’m gay.” Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing, but it stops being wonderful once people say things we don’t like.
Harvey feels the ACLU is putting such information in the hands of students with a deliberate purpose. “What they’re doing is … creating a situation where students are going to be confrontational, and most school boards and schools in this country are not prepared to deal with this,” she asserts.
Because we all know how many high school kids spend their time hanging out at the super-trendy ACLU website.
The pro-family spokeswoman believes the ACLU, in its effort to educate homosexual students of these so-called “rights,” is setting up a situation in which the civil liberties organization can sue a school on behalf of a student who does not get what he or she wants at school.
I love how this bitch claims to be a “pro-family spokeswoman” even though she’s basically saying that schools shouldn’t intervene to prevent gay kids from being harassed.
Meanwhile, she points out, as another part of its Lesbian and Gay Rights Project, the ACLU is encouraging homosexual students to establish “Gay Straight Alliance” (GSA) clubs, wear homosexual-themed t-shirts, and promote “gay pride” on campus.
Yeesh, it’s bad enough that they want protection from bullying, but now they want the right to form clubs too? Don’t they already have the Drama Club???
However, Harvey says schools can prevent the formation of such clubs if the schools do not have a non-discrimination policy that includes the term “sexual orientation.” Also, she notes that schools have another option, “if they have an abstinence-based sex education policy; they can deny these clubs.”
I had no idea that abstinence-only education programs enabled the school to ban homosexuals from forming clubs, but I can’t say I’m surprised.
In that case, the Ohio family advocate points out, some investigation and documentation would be necessary for schools to make their case against the formation of student GSAs. “What [school officials] will have to do,” she explains, “is go back and research clubs in the past and find the fact that clubs really do deal with sexual matters. They say that they don’t, but they do. That would be another adequate defense.”Harvey says since the ACLU has a myriad of resources for homosexual students yet offers none for Christian students, the group is clearly demonstrating that its commitment to diversity is phony.
And no one is more oppressed in America than white Christians. Go figure.
Happy Birthday, Brad R. And may your snark be its snarkiest in the year to come.
*points at article* Pfffft! [$deity] forbid that we help protect other human beings from harm!
I remember Jon Stewart once saying something to rightwing Christians along the lines of (and I’m paraphrasing here; anyone’s welcomed to correct me): “Your religion became mainstream because of Constantine over a thousand years ago. It’s one of the more dominant religions in the world. Why not enjoy your success?”
(I really oughta record the Daily Show more often. It’ll make quoting much easier.)
Happy birthday, Brad! Go celebrate your pants off!
Just don’t have any gay sex. Because that would be, you know – gay.
Hey don’t harass brad about his sexual orientation! Brad is a manly man who would never consider becoming LGBT whatever the hell that is.
Update from agape: They have informed me it stands for lesbian/gay butt time.
happy birthday brad r. as my present to me, i got my nipples pierced woo! i also really love the Ls in the lgbts. i need to not have harvey wallbangers for breakfast
Happy Birthday, Brad R. We found an extra special present for you at Three Bulls! Please do not party too hard, you know your groupies can’t keep up. With great party power comes great responsibility.
Happy birthday Brad R!
Hooray! We’re getting our nipples pierced as well!
happy birthday brad! may your fridge always be well stocked with steel reserve.
As a gay person, this crap depresses me to no end. It just reveals how warped perceptions like this spokesperson’s are: gay and bisexual people care only about sex (look, I spend most of the day on campus and during lunch I often overhear the conversations between heterosexuals, so…) and their relationships are incapable of achieving ‘true’ love and emotion. It makes me worry about how far we have yet to go.
(By the way, happy birthday.)
The “banning due to abstinance-based program” thing goes to the “Gays are all about TEH SEX.” The reasoning goes (I think) that because the school teaches that kids shouldn’t have sex, and that gays are automatically having sex 100% of the time that they’re gay, then the school can’t endorse that.
I have a gay friend who always got annoyed by this, especially when he was a virgin. Of course, being virginal, he was automatically Not Gay, even though he dated men.
Okay, trying to think like these people just caused me to sprain a synapse. Gotta go.
Happy Birthday Brad or as we like to say here in the desert Southwest – Feliz Navidad! You should check out your kitty porn tribute on Pinko Punko’s site it’s very touching.
Oops try this link instead: kitty porn. This one is pretty good too: conservative humor
Happy birthday, Brad- maybe Marie will be more receptive on your birthday, and you two can have a ‘bog party’.
You gotta understand, most of the big dumb jocks who are beating up the gay kids are gonna spend the rest of their lives working at minimum wage jobs, a la Al Bundy! Picking on queers and playing football are the only fond memories they’ll have! Please, don’t take that away from them!
I feel their pain, I really do. It’s just that I don’t give a damn.
can sue a school on behalf of a student who does not get what he or she wants at school.
That’s charming, that is. Because, dammit, there’s no difference whatsoever between a student who doesn’t get the locker closest to the shop room and the one who would, you know, rather not have the shit kicked out of him twice a week.
These people make me very, very glad that we’re busily driving ourselves into extinction.
Shame about the pangolins, though. They probably don’t deserve the coming global ice age.
Happy birthday (again), btw.
That was a nice present. The phrase “the super-trendy ACLU website” actually made me laugh.
26? It is all downhill from there.
(a good thing, for the lazy)
Actually 27 was the best year of my life and then it was all down hill.
Just asking–is this company called Agape Press because the people they hire are a bunch of brain-dead mouth-breathers, or is there a less obvious reason?
Hey, happy birthday! I got you a kitten.
is this company called Agape Press because the people they hire are a bunch of brain-dead mouth-breathers, or is there a less obvious reason?
That would make sense. But “agape,” ironically enough, is a greek word meaning unconditional love. So-called Christians like the gaybashers at Agape Press think they’re entitled to use this word as a description of their attitudes, which may well be all the proof you need that they’re actually, well, brain-dead mouth-breathers.
Happy Birthday, Brad. Among the people who also have a Sept. 10 birthday are:
Thomas Jefferson
Bessie Love-1920’s movie star. (Quite good in “Broadway Melody”, btw.)
Francis Craig-singer, popular in the 1940’s. (“Near You” topped the charts for 17 weeks.)
Robert Wise-movie director. (“West Side Story”, “The Sound of Music”)
Edmund O’Brien, actor. (won an Oscar for “The Barefoot Contessa”)
Yma Sumac, singer.
Arnold Palmer, golfer.
Philip Baker Hall, actor.
Bo Goldman, screenwriter. (“One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”)
Charles Kuralt
Cynthia Lennon
Greg Mullavy, actor. (“Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman”.)
Steven Jay Gould
Jose Feliciano, singer.
Judy Geeson, British actress.(“To Sir With Love”.)
Margeret Trudeau
Bill O’Reilly (no comment.)
Joe Perry, musician. (Aerosmith)
Amy Irving, actress. (“Carrie”, “Yentl”.)
Don “The Dragon” Wilson
Chris Columbus,film director & producer. (the “Harry Potter” flicks, among other.)
Dan Castellaneta, actor. (“The Simpsons”>)
Siobahn Fahey, singer. (Bananarama, Shakespeare’s Sister.)
Colin Firth, actor.
Randy Johnson, baseball player.
Big Daddy Kane, hip-hop artist.
Guy Ritchie, movie director (and love slave to Madonna.)
Johnathon Shaech, actor (and love slave to Christina Applegate)
Ryan Phillipe, actor (and love slave to Reese Witherspoon)
I don’t know what to make of that list, or the fact that they have the same birthday as you.
Thomas Jefferson’s birthday is April 13 (revised calendar date, was April 2 when he was born, IIRC.)
Don’t know where that list came from. Just sayin.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 🙂
I just decided that posting in most cases is about the same as writing on bathroom walls, but Happy Birthday anyway!
The source was the Internet Movie Database, which includes not only actors, but any public figure who may have appeared on film, OR whose published work may have been used in some capacity. I assumed the Thomas Jefferson referred to in the list was the former U.S. president, but having looked again the year he was born, I’m obviously wrong. (And chagrined at making that mistake.)It turns out this Jefferson was an actor, mostly appearing in silent films, who passed away in 1932. My apologies for the error.
Much like bathrooms wall, which is why i choose light on dark action
Bill S: Well, at least there was A Thomas Jefferson born on this day.
Happy Bday, Brad R. Enjoy every solar orbit!
Ha, ha! mdhatter is comment #26!
Damn.
Oh, well: Happy Birthday!
That would make sense. But “agape,” ironically enough, is a greek word meaning unconditional love. So-called Christians like the gaybashers at Agape Press think they’re entitled to use this word as a description of their attitudes, which may well be all the proof you need that they’re actually, well, brain-dead mouth-breathers.
Well- actually they use it (as I recall) in referance to God’s attitute toward people- though as our friend Kirk Cameron will tell us, His love apparently involves condemning all those who don’t watch Kirk’s new show The Way of the Master to eternal firey torment in Hell :sigh:.
And sure, they’re entitled to use it- just like I’m entitled to call my home movies “See Nude Movie Stars” and charge $6.99 for admission.
I mean, you’re going to see about as much nude celebs in my home movies as you are unconditional love at Agape Press, but Free Speech rules!
Oh, nice going, Bill S, taking poor Brad’s birthday and handing it over to a bunch of celebrities. Now he doesn’t feel special any more.
Yes, “purportedly protect homosexual behavior” indeed. But, this is BushWorld, so your assumptions don’t amount to a hill o’ beans–it’s off to the “relocation camps” for you, gayboy! While you’re there, enjoy the sinful communal showers, now with the pleasing scent of Zyklon B! Get closer to your fellow man (if you know what I mean–wink, wink) at the nearby mass graves-hey, there’s a fossil fuel shortage, so cremation is right out! All this and less at Kamp Crawford, TX!
Oh, and happy umbilical-severing day, Brad. Watch those Steel Reserves….
HBTY,
HBTY,
HBDBR,
HBTY!
(AMM….)
Happy birthday, sadly–or wait–not sadly. Happy Birthday Brad! You’re so young, dude. I haven’t been that age in 5 years. Amazing what you kids can do with the computers and such.
Dear Jon,
” Here are patience of the saints that keep the Commandments of God and have The testimony of Jesus Christ.” I am the Seventh Day Adventist . All other denominations of Christian faith are represented here on this Website. Our writers are Baptists, Pentecostal, Assemblies of God, Catholic , Lutheran etc.
Funny how all of us born again Christians think alike. We understand responsibility to take care of one’s own self. We seemly are all conservative. Common sense is a God given thinking process. “Let this mind be in you which is also in Christ Jesus.” If your are backslidden or a secularist , you do not think correctly. This is how the moronic Democratic hateful, seditious Talking Points has divided a nation. Your mind set is not that of a true believer or believer at all. These fallacious talking points are spread by people as you as well as stupidly embraced.
Gov. Kathleen Blanco’s Bureaucrats Blocked Food and Water
Well, darlin’, I was gonna write ya a happy birthday song or sumfin, but day-um. There’s just no following that.
Was that MJ? My head is spinning, and I didn’t even get to drinky for Brad R.
Still got 41 minutes of birthday on the west coast , buddy- enjoy it!
Schilling crossed party lines for you today- it’s your special day!
It’s interesting that she’s devolved into some sort of messianic figure. A not very interesting one mind you but one nevertheless. In the olden days before the interwebs she would be handing out leaflets on our campuses and taking out full page adds in college newspapers.
Sort of like an evil Dr. Bronner.
Compare and Contrast??
Dr. Bronner: “Don’t drink soap! Keep out of eye! Dilute! Dilute! OK!
Marie Jon?: Stole from Hannity! Stole from Hannity!
Dr. Bronner: Israel-Moses-Buddha-Jesus-Mohammed: ONE! ALL-ONE!
Marie Jon?: This is how the moronic Democratic hateful, seditious Talking Points has divided a nation. Your mind set is not that of a true believer or believer at all. These fallacious talking points are spread by people as you as well as stupidly embraced.
Dr. Bronner: Each swallow works hard to be perfect pilot-provider-builder-trainer-teacher-lover-mate, no half-true hate! So, each day like a bird, perfect thyself first! Have courage and smile my friend. Think and act 10 years ahead! And the man without fault? He’s dead!
Marie Jon?:You also seem to have a very hard time connecting the dots. Now you just heard the WORD!
Wow… Marie’s moved up from ACME Law to the Almighty Himself.
Seventh Day Adventist, eh? Well, that explains a few things…
Actually, Marq, I was hoping they’d be reading this blog, and be thrilled to know they have the same birthday as Brad.
I am afraid that ‘God’ is not Marie Jon’ but this lamer Jon Tudor, who is probably trying to get into Marie Jon’s pants by acting as her champion in argument here at this lethal atheist forum. If he can defeat everyone here then he will be able to ask for Marie Jon’s hand, her daddy’s approval, and the editorship of her magazine, which she can go on being the figurehead of, at least until he decides it is making her swollen headed. Dream on, Jon.
Shouldn’t he change his name to Jon’ Tudor, then?
I dunno, I’m still inclined to think it’s Marie pretending to be this dude who’s pretending to be God.
After all, she does get off on impersonating authority figures.
Hey, Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!
I am such an old fuddy duddy by now (age 51!) but I (painfully) remember my mid 20’s. You know – all those connections you make with friends, and all those moments where you are surprised by some evidence of Goodness and Beauty…? You know those moments when you are with friends and you just laugh SO hard…? That’s the stuff!
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Yeah, all that pain is there too, but go with the good stuff – and continue to let yourself be surprised by it. Evil really IS banal – and oppressive as such. I haven’t notice that it disappears exactly. I still get fooled at times. But do remember that Good is surprising and life-affirming and may appear at the most unlikely times. Whew!
Happy birthday, Brad! You know, I was going to say something about that Agape press article … and today is MY birthday. I think this means something significant.
I am afraid that ‘God’ is not Marie Jon’ but this lamer Jon Tudor, who is probably trying to get into Marie Jon’s pants by acting as her champion in argument here at this lethal atheist forum. If he can defeat everyone here then he will be able to ask for Marie Jon’s hand, her daddy’s approval, and the editorship of her magazine, which she can go on being the figurehead of, at least until he decides it is making her swollen headed.
It’s a wild guess, but maybe this guy is… Dr. BLT!
He can serenade her with raps about how he hates Sadly, No! Innat cute?
We’ll have our own troll couple! How many liberal blogs can claim a couple of trolls who are in love with each other?
Happy b-day belated, Brad. People here need to quit having b-days on the weekends. I always seem to miss them.
Dear Marie Jon’,
I am a born-again Christian.
I am also very liberal.
So there.
Love,