‘Hanky Panky,’ Or Equivalent Pun

Doop-de-doop, surfin’ the Internet, mindin’ my own business.

America lacks standing
By Donald Hank

Well, the Donofrio case against Obama (one of the many court cases the media refused to tell you about for months), demanding the showing of a real birth certificate, has failed,

Yowza. Will Peak, I say, will Peak Wingnut never come?

Anyway, we demand that Hank show us a real column.

and I am getting…

No wait, because it’s seeming at this point that a ‘real birth certificate’ means one that has never been questioned as false — a ‘vault copy’ which loses its authenticity when removed for scrutiny from the vault. It’s all starting to coalesce into sort of a zen thing: Obama must show his real face before he was born.

Speaking of conspiracy theories, how about this one. Malkin, Ace, Charles Johnson, and many other prominent Internet wingnuts have been trying to halt the right wing’s mad Tarantella over the various birth certificate stories while simultaneously screaming in kind of a ragged chorus at Andrew Sullivan, who has been asking questions about Sarah Palin’s last pregnancy.

This is, on one hand, because the Obama stories promise nothing for the right but collective shame and embarrassment as Americans begin to tire of the flimsy blame-narratives and the prevailingly spiteward orientation of modern conservatism; while on the other hand, let’s be honest, Sarah Palin is a brazen, bare-faced liar who will stand right in front of you and tell astonishing, flat-out lies, such that, really, who even knows what sort of crazy ’70s-sitcom deception she’s capable of attempting?

And no, no, let’s be honest: Her story is deeply weird, if not impossible, and despite what she’s said, Palin has not provided a single molecule of readily available official documentation, except for one apparently nonofficial piece of paper from a doctor. In other words, what I’m getting at is that Obama was almost certainly born where and when he says he was born, and to the same parents, and so forth; while Sarah Palin is a liar who is acting like she has something to hide.

Actually, that isn’t much of a conspiracy theory, lacking as it does a conspiracy (outside of Palin’s immediate family and GOP enablers, which, you know, let’s be honest, etc.).

and I am getting near-frantic emails from conservatives who had entertained hopes that Donofrio, and hence, justice for all, would prevail.

Oh right, Hank’s still here.

Here is what I am telling them:

The constitutional damage was first done in 1913 with the institution of the Federal Reserve and income tax, and was almost total by 1973 with Roe v Wade, when some justices unlawfully decided that the Constitution affords a right to kill, and there was no general outcry.

Well, that’s leaving a lot out. I mean, if we’re talking right-wing causes célèbres of the 20th Century, let’s at least fill it out a little. The Federal income tax was instituted by Woodrow Wilson at the behest of a conspiracy of international bankers, in order to devalue the dollar and discourage productive work — i.e., as part of their generational quest to destroy white, Anglo-Saxon civilization with what one might delicately call a hoy-bubbi-bubbi and a deedle-deidle-dum, not to mention a shmeis on the tuchis.

What about the Free Silver movement? Does no memory remain of the Vatican’s secret war on America, conducted by the Papal puppetmaster of the cabbage-scented Mick and the organ-grinding, mustachioed Wop? What of the ever-plotting Freemasons? What indeed about the Jews, not to mention their Soviet masters, not to mention the protocols of their elders? What of the literal treason of Dwight David Eisenhower, as minutely laid out in pamphlets and radio broadsides, at water coolers and from pulpits and in secret meetings of Concerned Americans, for literal years on end?

Why, it’s almost as if decades from now, somebody might say “Terri Schaivo,” and future wingnuts might not immediately know exactly what they mean.

But as Hank reminds us, we’re here now, and so is he:

They stopped defending the unborn, but I wasn’t an unborn so I said nothing…

This is like one of those logic puzzles. As an unborn, wouldn’t he have said something like “eeep” or “glub-glub,” if indeed vocalisms are available as a means of fetal expression (as opposed to kicking), and how would that have helped? More to the point, why didn’t he say something when he was an unborn, instead of denying responsibility later?

Plus, we know quite well where this Marty Niemöller formulation is going. Some wingnut encountered that Niemöller quote awhile ago, probably while watching a History Channel show about Nazis, and ever since, the rest of the wingnuts have been misapplying it in a sweeping upspiral of thoughtlessness and illiteracy. It’s heading toward a stupescendo — a crescendo of stupid — that will somehow exceed the maladroitness of any Niemöllerism that is producible in the laboratory.

For instance, “Then they came for the mutes, but I wasn’t a mute, so I didn’t say anything.” It will be way worse than that, so be ready when it comes.

Um, gotta go. We’ll be back with Part II of our Donald Hank epic before long.

 

Comments: 119

 
 
 

TODAY IN HISTORY:

Dec 9 1999

President Bill Clinton signs legislation outlawing “crush videos,” which generally involve women stomping frogs, mice, or other small animals with high heels. This fetish is definitely a niche market.

ACK BLAH BLAH FLIBBETY-FOO KKKLINTON GREATEST MONSTER EVER KNOWN CENSORSHIP CENSORSHIP

Why do I get the impression that that “niche market” would encompass a fair number of wingnuts?

Oh, and as far as the post goes – along about January 12th, this is what the entire wingnut blogosphere will look like.

 
 

Damn! Very well put, even for you all.

We may, however, be moving on to “B. O.’s part of the criminal political culture of Chicago” w/ the arrest of the Democratic goobernator of Ill.

Though I would challenge the wingnuts:

How can you say that Obama is part of Chicago’s corruption culture when there is no credible record of his existence before he appeared in the Ill. State Senate, voting “present?”

 
 

And then they came for the developmentally disabled, but I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t Katherine Lopez….

 
 

Katherine Lopez

Speaking of whom, from CNN.com:

Giant mutant potato weighs 22 lbs.

 
 

The constitutional damage was first done in 1913 with the institution of the Federal Reserve and income tax

OH LAWDY LAWDY LAWDY THEY DONE TOOK US OFF’N TEH GOLD STANDARD

*sigh* He probably checks the back of cereal boxes for information on the nefarious plans of the New World Order as well.

 
 

Donald Hank seems like an awesome wingnut name.

 
 

Obama must show his real face before he was born.

Or, in the alternative, that of his grandmother.* Whom he killed!!!11!!!

________________

* (cf. Thich Nhat Hanh)

 
 

The fact is, liberal biased media bias hate liberal left unconstitutional anti-USA and freedom-hate hard-left far-left liberal left liberal liberal left liberal liberal *sputter* Obama is a terrorist and will not be seated.

 
 

The right wing should have known that the Donofrio case would never go anywhere, given that he only played an crime scene investigator on TV, and didn’t know nothin’ about no Supreme Court lawyerin’.

 
 

I am getting near-frantic emails

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

 
 

Then they came for the positive integers, but I wasn’t a positive integer, so I said nothing.

 
RUGGED IN MONTANA
 

The constitutional damage was first done in 1913 with the institution of the Federal Reserve and income tax, and was almost total by 1973 with Roe v Wade

When is comes to row versus wade, I’ll row every time (I catch cold easily if my feet get wet).

 
 

They came for the refrigerators that were running, and mine was not running, so I said nothing.

 
 

… Then they came for the wingnutzoids, and I said nothing, because I was thinking Holy fucking Christ it’s about damn time.

 
 

OH LAWDY LAWDY LAWDY THEY DONE TOOK US OFF’N TEH GOLD STANDARD

It was great tragedy that ultimately made it impossible for anyone who is not Jewish to own anything or ever make any money.

But seriously, are they that stupid to believe that the economy would be better off our ability to create wealth was entirely dependent on a small segment of the mining industry? (Rhetorical question of course.) Yeah, monetary policy has its problems but they are infinitesimal compared to the problems created by yoking the entire wealth of an enormous nation to a pile of metallic bricks in a small room. I wonder if these wankers are just hoarding old jewelry or grubstakes in the Sierras.

 
 

They* came for the people with brains, and I said nothing, because I had none.

* Nazombies, of course.

 
 

I wasn’t a positive integer, so I said nothing.
El Cid is in fact irrational.

 
 

We’ll be back with Part II of our Donald Hank epic before long.

I dunno, he was the only lackluster part of this post.

 
 

Imaginary? Transcendental?

 
 

Excuse me, is this the niche market? The Frau Doktorin has sent me to buy a niche.

 
 

Every now and then I Google a phrase from here for uniqueness. I am worried that when all jokes are written we will collapse into the zingularity.

 
 

They came for the badgers, but I said nothing, because we don’t need no stinkin’ badgers.

 
 

Then they came for the homosexuals, but they stayed for the excellent pie.

And I said nothing.

 
 

a ‘vault copy’ which loses its authenticity when removed for scrutiny from the vault.

Duh. Just like children lose their right to protection once they’re removed from the womb. Do try to keep up.

 
 

Are you sure you got the right picture? It looks like a file picture of a soft rock DJ from the the 70’s, taken just before the suicide….

 
 

They came for the Patriots, but since I was a Jets fan, I just laughed and laughed…

 
 

… to buy a niche.

you got the scratch?

 
 

And they came for the ventriloquists, but I WAS a ventriloquist, and still I
said nothing, although the DUMMY said it while I was drinking a glass of water.

Then they came for the people who say “nothing” and I wasn’t a person who says “nothing” and I said nothing, and they said, “Hey, did you just say ‘nothing’?” and I didn’t say anything, so they said they’d come back later.

And they DID…

 
 

Then they came for me, but I said nothing, because I wasn’t myself that day.

They took me anyway! I was beside myself.

 
 

Then they came for the gamer dudes, but I was on a bio break and when I came back the Balrog was down and all the epics had been given away.

 
 

Blagojevich? HELLOOOOOOOOO???

Biggest scandal of 2008 and all we hear at SN! is crickets chirping.

Good grief. Obama hasn’t been sworn in yet and already he has a “-gate” attached to him.

Way to go, Corruptocrats.

*clap*

*clap*

*clap*

 
 

Plus–

“They stopped defending the unborn, but I wasn’t an unborn so I said nothing…”

Oh yeah? Well I WAS an unborn, and I said something, and nobody heard me! Because I *wasn’t born yet.*

No wonder America lacks standing!

 
 

they came for the trash, but I wasn’t organized and didn’t get it out in time and now I’ll have to wait till next week and the house is a disaster and why are my kids such little shits and how did I get stuck with such a loser of a husband!

 
 

Little Donnie Hanks whistles as he wanks.

 
 

Blagojevichgate? Has somebody really used that? Because I’m pretty sure it’s not going to catch on unless you change it so that the human throat can make its constituent sounds, goober.

 
 

They came on the Japanese girls and I said “Bukkake AGAIN??”

Huh?

Sorry, I was all up in the porn…

mikey

 
RUGGED IN MONTANA
 

Yowza. Will Peak, I say, will Peak Wingnut never come?

Hey! I’M the Yosemite Sam around here!!

 
 

Then they came for the compassionate conservatives, and they’re still waiting for one to show up.

 
 

Blagojevich? HELLOOOOOOOOO???

Biggest scandal of 2008 and all we hear at SN! is crickets chirping.

Good grief. Obama hasn’t been sworn in yet and already he has a “-gate” attached to him.

I know! it was the Obama camp that helped bring him in! They should be getting mad props for it!

Oh wait, you didnt read that far did you?

 
 

Obama hasn’t been sworn in yet and already he has a “-gate” attached to him.

Then the scandal!!! will be that he’s arrested for being a fence.

 
 

they came for booger – we lifted up the rock and pointed.

 
 

Nobody comes for goober. Nobody.

 
 

I’m starting to think that goober is a subtle, elaborate gag in which someone comments with the knee-jerk Republican talking point to whatever might remotely be considered “bad news for the Democrats”.

But ok. We have Gary, Truth and friends for that. RiM provides comic relief. goober differentiates himself, however, by not reading the current or any previous threads, and therefore, when he says that we haven’t commented on the Ill. governor thing, well, we have.

Note to goober:

PROTIP: LURK MOAR

 
 

They came for the conservative intelligentsia, but there was nobody home.

 
 

And then they came for my interest rate, but I wasn’t the loan officer, so I said nothing.

 
 

By sheer coincidence, World O’ Crap is looking for the Second Coming of Pastor Swank, after that dear man’s fall from coherence…

 
 

World O’ Crap is looking for the Second Coming of Pastor Swank, after that dear man’s fall from coherence…

Was Swank ever coherent? If he’s gotten worse, I need to see this.

 
 

I like sheer coincidence – it accentuates my curves.

 
 

Well, the 16th Amendment allowing for the Federal Income Tax was supported by Taft and waspassed by a Republican Congress in 1909. It was ratified in February 1913, during the final weeks of the Taft Presidency. Wilson was the first President to use it when the Democratic Congress passed an income tax in 1913 to make up for revenues lost by reductions on tariff rates (effectively shifting the tax burden upwards off of the working and middle classes and onto the wealthy). It was FDR in 1933 that started moving the US off of the Gold Standard, a process finished by Nixon in 1971.

 
 

They came for my income tax – I gave it to them.

 
 

Swank’s doing alright:

Sadly, once again, the world press turns the head, displaying a deaf ear and blind eye to the blood rivers flowing from Christians slain.

 
 

…no mute tongue?

 
 

The constitutional damage was first done in 1913 with the institution of the Federal Reserve and income tax, and was almost total by 1973 with Roe v Wade, when some justices unlawfully decided that the Constitution affords a right to kill, and there was no general outcry.

This continues the trend that I recently noticed of conservatives cramming as many conservative talking points as possible into every single article.

I bet they did this back in college in their essays. “Shylock’s demand for a pound of flesh is comparable to the illegal institution of the income tax in 1913, and also the phrase ‘pound of flesh’ perfectly describes how liberals feel about unborn children. Therefore, Shylock is a filthy liberal.”

 
 

he’s arrested for being a fence.
BE ashamed. Very ashamed.

ckc (not kc) said,
I like sheer coincidence – it accentuates my curves.

Ckc stands accused of criminal negligee.

a deaf ear and blind eye to the blood rivers
I have a blocked nostril. Does that count?

 
 

Wrap-up of the day in court & aftermath from Megan McArdle’s friend David Wiegel at Slate.

 
 

They came for nothing and I said “Kwatz!” and hit them with a stick.

 
 

Wrap-up of the day in court & aftermath from Megan McArdle’s friend David Wiegel at Slate.

It would appear that it is past time to wipe the Slate clean.

 
 

They came for the Nightman, and I was the Dayman, so I said nothing.

 
 

“Blood Rivers”

Yeah. Sure, Swank. Rivers.

It’s kind of hard to get there. People are blood-bags, sure, but as soon as the heart stops beating they stop bleeding. So you get puddles, not rivers.

If you want to really empty ’em out, you need to open ’em up and hang ’em up. To a large degree, this is what the shower head was invented for. Or a good old oak tree.

So be careful what you call for, or what you skitter away from.

Because it’s all kind of the same, the wounds weep, the widows weep, the gashes gush, it’s all penetrating wounds and anger, hand to hand in the perimeter of consciousness, a fight to keep your viscera inside and your imperatives out.

There’s no win in calling for casualties unless you’re in the burying business, or you’re looking for a call to action. Ugly is as ugly kills, and every single right winger needs to decide where they come down on the question of shedding blood…

mikey

 
 

They came for me, but I showed them my birth certificate, and since I am an obscure cryptozoological creature of Norse legend, they began to argue about whether I was a natural born citizen or not, and I slipped out the back for a drink.

 
 

Since I could not come for them,
They kindly came for me.

 
 

Compare & contrast w/ another report from the National Press Club, though also from the Slate/WaPo axis.

 
 

Then they came to take my guns away, but they forgot that because I had guns, I could shoot them all, so I shot them all, and all the survivors lived happily ever after, and I said nothing.

I bet they did this back in college in their essays.

I’d’ve thought the opposite – do like Jonah and pad one stupid, simple idea into as many pages as it takes to make up the page requirement.

 
 

Xecky Gilchrist said:

Obama hasn’t been sworn in yet and already he has a “-gate” attached to him.

Then the scandal!!! will be that he’s arrested for being a fence.

That is so much WIN, my stomach is still aching.

Thank you.

 
 

M. Bouffant –
Nice to see that someone in the MSM recognizes a clown show when they see one.

 
 

They came for the egg man, but I was the walrus, ergo

(Inspired by Liveoak Jesus.)

 
Egill Skallagrimsson
 

First they came for the unborn, and I said “Níðing!”. They accepted the challenge, and we fought Holmgang until they were dead.

 
 

..and every single right winger needs to decide where they come down on the question of shedding blood…

Well, as long as it’s not their own, the question is moot, right?

 
 

If Pastor Swank married Donald Hank, he’d be Grant Swank Hank.

 
 

With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably.

A birth certificate deferred is a birth certificate denied.

 
 

Then they came for the positive integers,
but I said nothing, since my name is not Dedekind.

 
 

Thank you.

You’re welcome. I live for setups like that.

 
Pies of the World
 

They came for the muslim murders global, but they stayed for the homonups. And I said nothing.

 
 

First they came for the pease porridge hot, but I had no pease porridge hot, so I said nothing. Then they came for the pease porridge cold, but I had no pease porridge cold, so I said nothing. Then they came for the pease porridge in the pot, nine days old, and I said, ‘Spell me THAT in four letters.’

 
 

I live for setups like that.

Then they came for the full-of-WIN and I said ‘I got nothing’.

 
 

They came for the ‘hot’ sexy mass, but it was not in a dancing field of demons, so I said “How say thus?”

 
RUGGED IN MONTANA
 

“Blood Rivers”

That’s a super name for an actor in slasher-porn.

 
 

I don’t ask for a full hat tip, but maybe a slight adjustment of a beret might be in order?

By the way, I forgot to put my footnote into that comment: *The phrase “wingnut brain spew” does not imply the existence of actual wingnut brains.

 
 

http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-truth-about-why-obama-cant-be-president/

Yeesh, the comments on that article…

Yes, yes, I know it’s CRACKED, but jesus:

The reason he won is because every single black person voted for him just because he is a black man. Most of them didnt even know the platforms of his campaign, it was clearly based on the fact he was black. Don’t believe me find the video where Howard Stern sends a fake reporter to Harlem to ask people who they are voting for and why.

Oh, well, a Howard Stern morning zoo crew video! Why, that PROVES it!

 
 

Why, it’s almost as if decades from now, somebody might say “Terri Schaivo,” and future wingnuts might not immediately know exactly what they mean.

Sort of like if you say “Lee Atwater” now.

“Thus it wasn’t Bush who failed. It was American Christians.”

Who put their faith in a numbnutz dauphin fraud. Eat it, godbags.

They stopped defending the unborn, but I wasn’t an unborn so I said nothing…

Okay, this is so risible I can’t even snark it.

If Pastor Swank married Donald Hank, he’d be Grant Swank Hank.

The Swank ‘n Hank fall mainly on the rank.

 
Cletus von Clausewitz
 

Supposeably from Kenya,
Moved to Indonesia;
Obama Tut!
Now when I blog you may think I’m a nut,
All I want is proof of natural born Obama Tut.
Blogging nut,
At Bill Ayers’ he had some coffee,
Obama Tut,
He’s hiding his vault copy!

Supposeably from Kenya,
Moved to Indonesia;
Obama Tut!
When I see Palin, my gun gets fully erect;
I don’t get so excited when I see the messiah-elect,
Blogging putz,
Check the kerning on that jay-peg,
Obama Tut,
On the web I will every day beg!

Supposeably from Kenya,
Moved to Indonesia;
When assassins come to get me, I say Abyssinia,
Obama Tut!

I had to post this again, I’m as proud of it as I am of my turkey costume.

 
 

Most of them didnt even know the platforms of his campaign…

Yeesh. Most wingnuts have no idea what a platform actually is, do they?

 
 

Cletus von Clausewitz said,
December 10, 2008 at 6:03
==============================
As a long time Steve Martin fan, I must salute.

Carrion, my wayward son!

 
 

Most wingnuts have no idea what a platform actually is, do they?

“Uh, it’s that… um, stuff that the guy says when he runs for office, right?”

 
 

Carrion, my wayward son!

I salute as well. That’s what I call esprit de corpse!

 
 

“Uh, it’s that… um, stuff that the guy says when he runs for office, right?”

Nuh-uhhhh! It’s that thing he stands on when he says it!

 
 

Nuh-uhhhh! It’s that thing he stands on when he says it!

Right up until the trapdoor opens and we hang the sumbitch.

 
 

Then they came for me, but I said nothing, because I wasn’t myself that day.

They took me anyway! I was beside myself.

It’s a Frikkin’ Jape of Marxists around here…

 
 

…when some justices unlawfully decided that the Constitution affords a right to kill

capital punishment, anyone?

 
 

capital punishment, anyone?

No! No! No!. Don’t you understand anything? It’s only murder if you aren’t actually born yet.

 
Cletus von Clausewitz
 

Maybe the Supreme Court will unaminmously (ewe-nam-minnie-mouse-lee) reject all these stupid lawsuits simultaneousli (sigh-mule-taney-oosley). It won’t affect the brain-scarred, but the rest of the USA can have a nice party at the inauguration (eff-me).

 
 

…if you aren’t actually born yet.
Oh, like the President-elect!

 
 

via Slate
“”I can’t stand to watch Obama,” Mizell said. “He looks so deceitful. I feel like it’s witchcraft going all over everybody, that he’s witchcrafting everybody. He doesn’t say anything. He uses a lot of good words.”

Nappy hair and chocolate lips
Sparks fly from his finger tips
Echoed voices in the night
He’s a restless spirit on an endless flight
Wooo hooo witchy ‘Bama, see how
High he flies
Woo hoo witchy ‘Bama he got
The wingnuts in his eye

 
 

They stopped defending the unborn, but I wasn’t an unborn so I said nothing…

I think all presidents should be required to be unborn (based on absence of a vault birth certificate). This is NOT too much to ask.

 
 

I feel like it’s witchcraft going all over everybody, that he’s witchcrafting everybody.

I tellz ya, it’s that neuromatomic language of his that’s hypnotizing everyone.

 
 

I just had a very evil thought. Ya know, most of our presidents have been quite old and past their prime for…. the last thirty years or so. Naturally their wives were also. Michelle is quite young and I know if I were her I would be in a very fine and agreeable mood after inauguration day. Can you see where this is going? I can easily imagine our first African American First Lady getting in a family way. And…. then I imagine that is when we will see true peak wingnut. It will be beyond measure.

 
 

Better Witchy

For those who are into that sort of thing (*sniff!*).

 
 

unborn, born, born-again…. By god, it’s a nightmare!

 
 

(an probably a vault-approved certificate required for each category)!!

 
 

It looks like a file picture of a soft rock DJ from the the 70’s, taken just before the suicide

I would have said a cross between Jon Stewart and Bob Newhart (but with the funny completely removed.)

 
 

They stopped defending the unborn, but I wasn’t an unborn so I said nothing…

Wow, this quote was so fucking hilarious. Please tell me this Donald Hank guy is just another one of those childish pranks you SadlyNauts are famous for?

It’s a joke, right? Please tell me it’s just a joke!

 
 

MrSparkle: I’m sorry, but it’s not a joke. You’d know that if you clicked on the link for yourself.

 
 

I did click on the link. That was just my stupid cognitive dissonance reacting to the article.

 
 

…when some justices unlawfully decided that the Constitution affords a right to kill

capital punishment, anyone?

A homina homina deterrence needs of society homina homina.

(was re: investment in China)

 
 

He is also the founder of Lancaster-York Non-Custodial Parents

Oh, here’s one:

They came for the princes in the Tower, but I was a non-custodial parent, so I said nothing.

 
 

First the came for the sofa, and I didn’t speak up. Then they came for the end tables, and I didn’t speak up. Then they came for the refrigerator, and I said “No, you can leave that, it came with the apartment.”

 
 

Then they came for the Stratocasters, but I play a Tele, so I just turned it up ’til I couldn’t hear ’em anymore.

 
 

Couldn’t the hospital simply issue a copy of the birth record, which would presumably have Baby Obama’s footprints on it for comparison the next time he goes shopping for Air Jordans?

 
 

unborn, born, born-again…. By god, it’s a nightmare!

Actually, the unborn are referred to now as “womb humans”.

Which begs the contraction to “Wombans”.

 
 

I actually think you’ve summarized this better than anyone I’ve seen thus far. It really is like Schrodinger’s Birth Certificate. Once you take it out of “the vault” it’s no longer inside the vault and is thus immediately suspect. But as long as it’s still in the vault, it’s obviously being concealed there for some nefarious purpose. So why can’t you just let us see it, but — no! DON’T TAKE IT OUT!!!! Jesus! It’s USELESS now!

Oh, well, back to the locked ward. I mean, drawing board.

 
 

the Donofrio case against Obama (one of the many court cases the media refused to tell you about for months)

… which is naturally why I’ve seen links to it all over the damn place for those same months. If the Evil Liberal Media is this noisy about something they “refuse to tell me about” I’m gonna need earplugs for the stuff they WILL tell me about, not to mention taping up my windows for when they explode.

“He looks so deceitful. I feel like it’s witchcraft going all over everybody, that he’s witchcrafting everybody. He doesn’t say anything. He uses a lot of good words.”

Unlike President Mumbletypeg, whose attempts at English have been such a source of joy & comfort to the world since 2000. How DARE America elect someone to the Oval Office who isn’t blatantly doped to the tits on Ambien 24/7! The planet quails in terror at the menacing prospect of a US leader using complete sentences – & perpetrating this atrocity to EXPRESS RATIONAL THOUGHTS, no less! Have you no shame, America?!?

Hmm … the same right wing that opposed desegregation, opposed the ERA, opposed removal of anti-Jewish quotas at universities, kneecapped habeas corpus, cheered the rise of wiretapping as domestic SOP – & now opposes equal rights for gays & lesbians … are now the main cloning-agents for Pastor Niemoller’s famous verse.

If irony’s truly dead, I’d say there’s a LOT of mean-ass Irony Zombies stumbling around out there … & I’m not sure headshots are going to do the trick at this point.

Come on DOWN, it’s a Niemoller Fire Sale!
First they came for the low prices, then they stayed for the value!

 
Rusty Shackleford (not that one)
 

Then they came for the Stratocasters, but I play a Tele, so I just turned it up ’til I couldn’t hear ‘em anymore.

Cranked-up bridge pickup = icepick to the skullbone

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

Last week they came for the illiterates, but I wasn’t illiterate and didn’t read much into it.

 
 

“For the last three years, Democratic leaders cheered GOP ethics woes. Dean accused Republicans of making ‘their culture of corruption the norm.’ Pelosi touted cleanliness as a liberal virtue. But with the eye-popping pay-for-play and bribery case against Democratic Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich topping a year of nationwide Democratic scandals, the corruption chickens are coming home to roost.”

Bok bok!

 
 

‘Hanky Panky,’ Or Equivalent Pun

COGITATION MODE [1]

and I am getting near-frantic emails

OUTPUT: HANKY PANICKY

COGITATION MODE [0]

 
 

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