9
Bullsiewicz
Just when you thought it was over:
Wrotnowski v. Bysiewicz “natural born citizen” case referred to full court by Justice Scalia (about Obama’s foreign father)
By Arlen WilliamsJustice Scalia, by referring Wrotnowski v. Bysiewicz to committee on Dec. 12 may allow the Supreme Court to decide upon Barack Obama’s status as a presidential candidate before the currently scheduled Electoral College election day, December 15.
While it would be a clever stunt indeed for Scalia, et al., to descend to the level of jurisprudence of Bush v Gore, and to rule that. . .um, that like it or not, Joe Biden will be our next president? That the election is somehow nullified and we have to do it all over again? That McCain, who was born in the Panama Canal Zone, should be installed as president? Or maybe all they could reasonably accomplish would be to tie things up for a few weeks so that Bush can stay in office 1% longer — or maybe it’s all preparation for a Republican military coup; I honestly give up at this point.
No, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Scalia is probably doing this procedurally, in order to make the suit go efficiently bye-bye and to prevent these Mirth Certificate wackamaroons from bothering each Justice, in turn, forever and for the rest of their lives. I mean, let’s think way, way outside the box here. Let’s get real, real gone for a change.
This case is essentially similar to the case of Leo Donofrio, who assisted Connecticut lawyer, Cort Wrotnoski, in drafting it. According to Donofrio, the basis is very much the same (not essentially about the birth certificate, but regarding a foreign father) and it includes additional corroborative research and/or reasoning.
We’ll go with ‘or.’
Also, the history of this case is less problematic for the Supreme Court (SCOTUS) than the Donofrio case, due to a suspicious misfiling of the latter case by a New Jersey judge which may have provoked a question of standing before the Supreme Court.
A suspicious misfiling — why, this explains why the case was denied. It seems likely that the judge was a liberal. Myriad and sinister are the liberals’ plots against America, of which this is but one.
We would like, by way of commentary, to reproduce Arlen Williams’s official RenewAmerica contributor photo:
Above: ‘BAKED’?
Who are these people, and aren’t they late for the Vril saucer evacuation?
Update: Here’s Confederate Yankee:
Just When You Thought It Was Over…
…Scalia adds another Obama citizenship case to the Supreme Court’s Dec. 12 docket, Wrotnowski Vs. Bysiewicz.
Let the fun and games
begincontinue!
By Jiminy, now he’s stealing titles via time machine.
Now I’m down a line. Um, here’s an unfinished joke. Some guy has the grafitti tag, ‘Typo,’ and he writes it like TYOP. Maybe show the tag first, like written on the side of a train or something. And in a caption, some other kid is pointing at it like, “You spelled it wrong,” or actually maybe that overdoes it.
Southern Beale said,
December 9, 2008 at 19:34
I personally will revolt in the streets if the election is overturned by SCOTUS. I’m quite certain I’m not the only one.
Legalize said,
December 9, 2008 at 19:38
Could we be approaching peak wingnut?
PeeJ said,
December 9, 2008 at 19:38
C’mon, take it easy on the mentally deficient. They’re just asking for a mulligan, after all.
Rick Massimo said,
December 9, 2008 at 19:39
HILLARY!
biff diggerence said,
December 9, 2008 at 19:41
” . . . in addition to a career in technology sales.”
(I sold sexual devices)
Righteous Bubba said,
December 9, 2008 at 19:43
That’s a punch in the head or something, right?
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 19:48
See, this is why the PUMAs were right: it turns out Obama was a plant set up by the right wing (and funded in large part by Richard Mellon Scaife) to draw the nomination away from the One True President, Hillary Clinton, in order to…
Oh, hell, even I never bought that theory!
biff diggerence said,
December 9, 2008 at 19:49
Man, look at those Joan Crawford eyebrows.
PeeJ said,
December 9, 2008 at 19:54
Could we be approaching peak wingnut?
I used to wonder about that occasionally. But every time I thought it was near, the whingers would surpass themelves. Which led me to the theory of fractal whingism. Just as each iteration of, say, a Julia or Mandelbrot set produces something slightly different (in some ways) but essentially the same as the previous iteration, wingnuttism also exhibits a self-similar nature. Each iteration yields a realityscape that looks somewhat different from the rpevious but is, in esse exactly the same. That is to say, there is no such thing as peak wingnut.
PeeJ said,
December 9, 2008 at 19:57
Shouldn’t that be spelled WroughtNaughtski?
Brian X said,
December 9, 2008 at 19:57
It’s like they’re furiously masturbating, mumbling “scandal scandal scandal” to themselves, hoping that a Kenyan birth certificate with the name “Barry Hussein Soetoro Osama Obama X” will pop out of their asses when they orgasm. The only problem is that the psych meds they’re taking, although misprescribed, keep them from ever coming.
Snorghagen said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:04
The Renew America genius believes that McCain would also be disqualified “based upon his birth outside of American territory”.
Then Biden will be disqualified for being a Maoist, and we can have President Palin and the dawning of a new Golden Wonder Happy Era.
Tommmcatt said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:04
That is to say, there is no such thing as peak wingnut.
I disagree- however, Wingnuttism must be viewed in toto, to see its’ “peak”. It is more accurate to say, perhaps, that Wingnuttia, has an event horizon which is, in itself made more complicated by the fact that it tends to double back upon itself, pitting moronic platitude against terrible misspelling and obvious sophistry in a storm of didactic mouth-breathing. Perhaps we should speak, therefore, of a wingnut tesseract or mobius train of idiocy.
Which is to say, therefore, that each and every wingnut is peak wingnut, or, to put it briefly, that these people are fucking stupid.
Dan Someone said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:06
Just in case you were wondering, the Supreme Court has published a helpful guide for reporters (PDF) that in fact explains why Scalia referred this application to the full Court:
Since Ginsburg denied the applications the first time through, Scalia followed SOP in referring it to the full Court the second time it came around, thus saving the remaining Justices from what could reasonably be called “pleadings spam.”
Snorghagen said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:11
Personally, I believe that we should disqualify every individual with any foreign ancestors, including aliens who crossed over the Bering Strait during the last ice age.
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:12
Tommcatt,
Are you suggesting there’s a sort of Peter Principle at work in Wingnuttia, that every wingnut rises to their level of incompetence?
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:14
Since Ginsburg denied the applications the first time through, Scalia followed SOP in referring it to the full Court the second time it came around, thus saving the remaining Justices from what could reasonably be called “pleadings spam.”
Thus ruining Korir’s chance at scamming another half mil.
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:16
Since Ginsburg denied the applications the first time through, Scalia followed SOP in referring it to the full Court the second time it came around, thus saving the remaining Justices from what could reasonably be called “pleadings spam.”
I think it’s more like Scalia heard a good joke and decided to retell it at the bar.
noen said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:18
By that pic — definitely NOT gay. No sireeee… Joan Crawford? Why yes I do an act, why do you ask?
PeeJ said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:19
Yeah, it’s a sort of Peter Principle – they’re dickheads.
Dan Someone said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:20
And holy freakin’ hell, have you seen some of the other wingnut brain spew* over there at Renew America about this issue?
Donald Hank channels Pastor Martin Niemoller (“First they came for…”) in a bizarre fashion, relating this to FDR’s New Deal and Roe v. Wade.
JR Dieckmann — an electrician, so you know he’s all over this — decries the conspiracy of silence about the issue among the liberal media, including those notorious left-wingers, Hannity and Limbaugh, while also noting the difference between a “certification” and a “certificate” and somehow disappearing a full third of the electorate who voted for Obama.
But wait, what’s this? Could it be? Yes! Warner Todd Huston tells everyone over there that Thos. Jefferson himself wants them to unbunch their panties and move on.
You know the bottom of the barrel has been scraped paper thin when Warner the Ex-Walrus is telling you to quit making with the crazy.
LittlePig said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:21
I wouldn’t be surprised if the Court hears it and voids the election. Four justices will certainly vote for it – Fat Tony, Little Nino, Chiefy and Token. All they would need is one more.
Ted the Slacker said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:24
Could we be approaching peak wingnut?
You know how mathematicians eventually add another decimal to pi, or find the latest largest prime number? Or how astronomers find another more distant galaxy?
That’s what we’re dealing with here. There will always be batshit crazier. Trust me, one day we’ll hark back to birth-certificate-gate as the age of neo-classical wingnut, and reminisce about the good ol’ days when wingnuttia was comprehendably stupid.
JK47 said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:24
Hey wingnutz, where’s that “whitey” tape at?
El Cid said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:27
Are they actually thinking this will work? That they’ll be saved from the Presidency of Barack Hussein Islamobama Dolemite X because fat Tony Scalia will declare him a space alien from Kenya?
General Consolidated African Press Amalgamated Inc. said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:30
Hey wingnutz, where’s that “whitey” tape at?
We’re so glad you asked. Previous negotitations did not result in the expected outcome so we are now forced to make other arrangements. We can supply the tape to you at no charge. Please supply your bank information so that we can pay the shipping charges.
Scott said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:30
Four justices will certainly vote for it – Fat Tony, Little Nino, Chiefy and Token. All they would need is one more.
If even one of the Justices votes for it, I will eat my hat (made of delicious cake). The eternal gratitude of a tiny minority of Palin worshipers would be small comfort when the torch-bearing mob showed up at your house.
Bigby said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:31
I’m kind of hoping it will go through all 9 Justices, one at a time. After they each in turn shove it up TIDOS Yankee’s arse sideways, maybe he and the rest of the wingers will get the hint (which is: STFU, but which’ll be interpreted as “Barry Obama X got to all of the SCOTUS…Wolverines!!!!eleventyOne! “).
I for one am enjoying every minute of this. Bush Co. stole the election and we were told for 8 fucking years to “Get Over It Sore Losermans”. Look in a mirror, assholes, and repeat that mantra for 8 yrs. I’d do it, but I have a life.
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:31
This ought to be interesting if the SCOTUS doesn’t laugh it out of chambers outright.
Does the United States have the right to overrule a certified state document? How would this bode for the whole gay marriage issue and the “full faith and credit” clause?
After all, they overruled a certified state ruling in Bush v Gore.
MzNicky said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:32
Thank you Dan Someone. All of my gorge from the last eight years was rising again and I was turning into a huge green monster person with suddenly massive musculature that ripped my clothes apart at the seams and I was starting to compulsively smash things.
mikey said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:38
Here’s what wakes me up at night in a cold sweat, gripping the IR LED Flashlight in one hand and the KBar in the other.
SCOTUS is gonna take a pass, the gibbering of the Howler Monkeys will get louder, the cries for revolt, the cries of WOLVERINES, and then finally, blessedly, January 20th will arrive, inevitably rendering the entire Birth Certificate/Natural Born American a moot issue. As crazy as it is, it’s got an expiration date.
So what crazy will they pull out of their ass then? What bases-clearing hail-mary mad minute of vacuous spew will they desperately clasp to their heaving chest once Our Man from Indonesia actually takes office?
Might be fun to set up a pool. But I’m thinking it’s beyond our ability to guess…
mikey
Legalize said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:41
Perhaps peak wingnut is an entity wholly of itself, and one has to look at wingnuttery in its entirety in order to fully grasp is total dumb-assery. In other words, perhaps we have always known peak wingnutitude.
Perhaps each time wingnuts display a new mouth-breatherism we are merely looking at a different part of the whole of wingnuttery, and we merely exclaim, “damn that’s even stupider than the previous example of mouth-breatherism uttered by Dan Riehl 15 minutes ago!”
When in actuality, it’s all equally fucking stupid. However, the mind of the mere mortal experiences wingnuttery in a pancaking manner, with layers of assaults upon reason, literacy, and hygine piling upon each other to form an ever-oppressive weight of buffoonery!
Far out
Righteous Bubba said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:42
What we should really be doing is stirring the pot by organizing a campaign to defeat presidential term limits because OBAMA IS ALREADY THE BEST PRESIDENT EVER!
noen said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:44
I think they’ll just keep with the classics Mikey. The “Obama’s presidency is illegitimate” meme has legs. Since when did little things like getting sworn in matter to these dufuses?
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:47
The “Obama’s presidency is illegitimate” meme has legs. Since when did little things like getting sworn in matter to these dufuses?
Worse, it practically justifies assassination attempts, so our little buddy, Troofie, will enter the “Shoot A President” contest over at Townhall.
Bigby said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:47
Yeah, afterall, these are the same people who thought Clinton was illegitimate because “he only won a plurality” yet Bush can be Permanent Preznit when he fucking lost his election!.
tigrismus said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:49
RB, I love that idea so much I want to marry it.
Till said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:50
Federal law trumps state law, and the Constitution trumps all.
On the issue of whether Obama is a natural born citizen, the birth certificate is simply evidence. If there were compelling evidence that Obama was born abroad or that the birth certificate was forged or otherwise fraudulently filed, that would have to be considered too.
Fortunately it’s all bullshit, so any serious discussion is irrelevant.
noen said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:51
Peak Wingnut is made out of meat. We probed them, all the way through.
Spare me, but you said they communicated, they use radio to communicate.
But what do think is on the radio? Wingnut Meat sounds. You know how when you flap meat it makes a sound. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat.
This is entirely too much. The ones that you… probed… what about them?
We went into their brain and smoothed out their meat. They won’t remember a thing. We’ll just be a wingnut dream. A dream of meat.
How fitting that we should be dream to wingnuts.
Bigby said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:54
There is no Peak Wingnut…it’s turtles all the way down!
Some Guy said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:55
“Let the fun and games begin continue!”
You people need to get out more.
t4toby said,
December 9, 2008 at 20:55
Win.
PeeJ said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:07
WOLVERINES!!1!
SWINE LOVER!!1!
SEW ON LIVER!!1!
SNIVELER OW!!1!
REVILES OWN!!1!
SERVILE NOW!!1!
REVELS I WON!!1!
noen said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:08
Pastor Swank is now at Renew America?
“The world media has remained relatively silent regarding the carnage leveled by Hindus against Christians throughout India.”
I don’t know, I think there was some other event that may have captured a bit more attention. Can’t quite put my finger on it though…..
stryx said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:10
gripping the IR LED Flashlight in one hand and the KBar in the other.
Just a reminder not to disturb mikey while he’s sleeping.
Grace Nearing said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:21
Somehow, someway Blagojevich soon will be appearing in their birther delusions. The freepers reject Fitzpatrick’s assertion that Obama wasn’t involved; nonethless comparisons are being made:
Just like Stalin was never held accountable for his millions of murders. Stalinism is here to stay in the USA. I am counting the months until FreeRepublic is shut down as a hate site.
I am counting the days.
OneMan said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:24
Rejection comes quickly for Mr. Donofrio today. This does not make me sad.
OneMan said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:27
D’oh! It pays to, like, read dates and content and such.
Curly Howard said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:28
But wait, what’s this? Could it be? Yes! Warner Todd Huston tells everyone over there that Thos. Jefferson himself wants them to unbunch their panties and move on.
You know the bottom of the barrel has been scraped paper thin when Warner the Ex-Walrus is telling you to quit making with the crazy.
Warner Todd Huston lives in the Illinois town I grew up in. My apologies on behalf of all its residents.
Geral Curl said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:29
Of all the types of crazy in the world, let me speak of two variations: fun crazy and boring crazy. Fun crazy means you wear odd hats, dance in shopping malls, and recite poetry in crowded elevators. Fun crazy, despite the name, is not really fun. You tend to annoy most people and it can be exhausting to always be “fun.” However, the average person will let it slide and may even smile occasionally at your antics.
Boring crazy, on the other hand, is almost always characterized by your belief that you (and maybe a select few) alone know something of utmost importance that others (the stupid sheep) either don’t know or willfully ignore. You try to tell them, and they just won’t listen. Yet you’re missing something. There is a secret, but it’s only unknown by you. The “secret” is that everyone is bored by you and hates when you come around because you’re going to talk about that thing you always talk about. If you leave the room and overhear things like “what the fuck was that” followed by “that’s just Arlen,” you’re most likely boring crazy.
There’s hope though (there’s always some of that). You can’t be sane, but you can change from boring crazy to fun crazy. When you feel the urge to discuss the font on Obama’s birth certificate, why don’t you instead glue sunflowers to your car? If you’re kept awake at night by thoughts of 60s era Hawaiian records management protocols, clear your mind and try singing the names of the 50 states in a Tiny Tim-esque falsetto. Please make the world a slightly less awful place.
Smut Clyde said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:32
Just a reminder not to disturb mikey while he’s sleeping.
For some reason Professor Silenus came to mind:
“I haven’t been to sleep for over a year. That’s why I go to bed early. One needs more rest if one doesn’t sleep.”
Pere Ubu said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:36
Re-posted from teh previoyous* thread ’cause it’s still, god help us, relevant to the post:
I’d really like to think at along about Jan. 15th Crazy Pammy’s site is going to be nothing but birth certificate posts, each (somehow, how croggles the mind) more wingnutty than the last.
This makes me think of Limbaugh back during the Clinton impeachment hearings. Ken Starr was due to give his testimony, and the Pigman was bloviating about how Starr was going to reveal *T*H*E* *T*R*U*T*H* that would finish Clinton once and for all.
Of course he didn’t say anything the first day of testimony, so Pigman just decided that tomorrow would be TEH BIG DAI and all would be revealed. This all reminds me greatly of that wingnuttus interrruptus I witnessed back then – only so much more entertaining.
Scratch that first line – I’d like to think the entire Wingnuttosphere will be nothing but “WE WILL REVEAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE IN HOURS” posts, each flibberty-floo** crackers batshit insane than the last until some sort of Singularity is achieved and the whole thing gains intelligence and says “fuck this” and stomps off to sell patchouli incense in Brooklyn.
* Maybe if I misspell stuff intentionally it’ll keep me from falling under the WordPress Curse.
** A very fine phrase which I will endeavour to use more often.
Legalize said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:40
Pursuant to Geral Curl’s plead to the boring crazies, I suggest that said boring crazies make things more fun for the rest of us by blissfully dancing and reciting poetry on the West Side Highway whilst blindfolded – between say the hours of 8 am and 10 am on the weekday of your choice.
Fozzetti said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:44
Tommcat & PJ: Perhaps achieving ‘Peak WingNut” is similar to go the speed of light. The faster you go the more mass…with WingNuts the crazier they get the less sense they make. Eventually they’ll break the crazy-barrier or go back in time, or something.
jscopes said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:44
Folks at sadly no,
Your home page is still coming up at Dec. 7th.
JS
Legalize said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:44
Interesting, Singular wingnuttery may acheive self-awareness, while day to day wingnuttery is characterized, in part, by a total lack of self-awareness.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:45
Blog not found
Sorry, the blog you were looking for does not exist. However, the name endtermlimitsnow is available to register!
Register endtermlimitsnow
Legalize said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:49
Governor Blagovitch must be hiding Barry X Hussein Osama’s real birth certificate for randsome. This is why Barry ordered the FBI to arrest him. Thug!!! Stalin!!!
Righteous Bubba said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:52
No man owes another man randsome.
Fozzetti said,
December 9, 2008 at 21:53
WingNuttery could be compared to a million-faceted jemstone, or jewel, flashing every glowing color of crazy/stupid in the spectrum, including colors (stupid-crazy) mere Humans cannot see, let alone understand.
Or WingNuttery could be compared to… a Tree, with the trunk being the “average” wingnut, with branches coming off and more branches off them and more and more branches reaching pleadingly up to the sky, demanding vengance and retribution.
Smut Clyde said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:02
randsome
South African kidnappers often demand Krugerrandsome.
N.C. said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:04
1) Democratic Governor Rod Blagovitch
It’s Blagojevich, sir. The Polacks are considered white people now, so you can spell their names right.
PeeJ said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:06
Or wingnuttery could be compared to a raving fucking lunatic. Or is that technically not a comparison since wingnutterists are, in fact, raving fucking lunatics.
D.N. Nation said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:10
Yes, the tapes themselves show Obama to be untouched by all this, and Fitzgerald says that Obama is clean. Hell, it might have even been Rahmbo that turned the feds on to what Blagaweoirajweori was doing.
So yes. It is a good thing that Obama is untouched by all this. Also, he won the election, which ran completely and laughably counter to your spew over the past few months here. You’ve been called out on this countless times before, and each time have run away in disgrace. You’re being called out again. Care to pony up and say how wrong you were about everything, or will you ignore the point once again?
D.N. Nation said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:11
And I should note that a mealy-mouthed Bush apologist crying about corruption makes me laugh.
Jacob Singer said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:17
Thank god there’s no history of corruption in Texas politics, or some of it might have rubbed off on Bush. Right, troofie?
D.N. Nation said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:19
And before you even answer, Truth, if your response is just some variation on “Obama won, unfortunately. Happy, darling/sweetie/whatever?”, I’m going to be very, very disappointed. At least attempt to come to grips with your Massive Fail.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:26
Hey troofie, still waiting for you to denounce chimpo and his fellow gangsters for not resigning after their failure protecting America on 911.
Senior Indian officials did it after the Mumbai massacre. If they can do it, certainly a Super Duper prez like chimpo can.
Come on, denounce your chimp! Or else you hate America.
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:26
Mister Honorable Justice of the Peace Scalia is duty-bound to declare Obama an illegal alien as he is involved in the theft of government property from Area 51 which was used to slip through a time-rift TWICE, so that Obama could be born in both Kenya and Indonesia AT THE SAME TIME, as befits the anti-Chr*st. The Supreme Court is a venerable institution in this our beloved nation-state and thus we must venerate what the Right Honorable Justice Scalia proclaims from his proclaiming bench in the colony of Washington DC. I pray that it be G*d’s will that he acknowledge for the world to see that The Heartland has been chemtrailed with fluoride, which is an attractant to rabid pelicans and that Roswell technology was immodestly and with great prejudice, used without proper authorization by agents of the Obama-anti-Chr*st mechanism in order to create a New World Order of despotism based on bridge and highway renovation and restoration, which is Marxist, as is high school. All of this is explained in great detail on the label of Dr. Bronners Peppermint Soap (which gives my manly parts a rash, by the way) and should be used as a roadmap for the restitution of our Sacred Democracy, which has been lost in the fraudulent election of a non-Republican President who claims to be both the new black J*sus and a community organist, which is blasphemic to those of us awaiting the much-needed imposition of Shania Law on this, the land of our Fathers.
Legalize said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:29
“No man owes another man randsome.”
“South African kidnappers often demand Krugerrandsome.”
I hate you both!
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:31
randsome
South African kidnappers often demand Krugerrandsome.
These are just randumb puns….
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:31
Two straight criminal governors and one scumbag Senator
Almost as bad as Texas.
the Truth about the Truth said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:33
Mr. Truth thinks that he has been robbed of all he does not possess. Unfortunately for him, he’s wrong. Before I begin, let me point out that when it comes to his calumnies, I definitely allege that we have drifted along for too long in a state of blissful denial and outright complacency. It’s time to help others to see through the empty and meaningless statements uttered by Truth and his worshippers. The sooner we do that the better because in a rather infamous speech, he exclaimed that he would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform a clumsy act. (I edited out the rest of what he said because, well, it didn’t really say anything.)
Truth has repeatedly been spotted destroying our moral fiber. When questioned about that, he either denies any knowledge of it or offers unbelievable and ludicrous explanations that only a vapid megalomaniac could believe. His insinuations don’t accomplish anything useful because they don’t deal with the real issue. The real issue is that we must understand that I hope that he regrets what he has done. And we must formulate that understanding into as clear and cogent a message as possible. Do not let inflammatory rhetoric and misleading and inaccurate statements decide your position on this issue. Truth’s lamentations are just a rhetorical ploy to get away from the obvious fact that Truth’s contrivances always follow the same pattern. He puts the desired twist on the actual facts, ignores inconvenient facts, and invents as many new “facts” as necessary to convince us that he knows 100% of everything 100% of the time.
For your edification, I should point out that my goal is to set the record straight. I will not stint in my labor in this direction. When I have succeeded, the whole world will know that if Truth wants to be taken seriously, he should counter the arguments in this letter with facts, not illogical panaceas, personal anecdotes, or insults.
Although I generally try to be tolerant of unabashed laziness, defiant incompetence, willful ignorance, and combative arrogance, some people I know say that Truth’s diatribes are filled with a number of very clear-cut and blatant lies — lies of both omission and commission. Others argue that he governs his foot soldiers with a dictatorial and brutal fist, forcing them to represent Heaven as Hell and, conversely, the most wretched life as paradise. At this point the distinction is largely academic given that what we have been imparting to Truth — or what he has been eliciting from us — is a half-submerged, barely intended logic, contaminated by wishes and tendencies we prefer not to acknowledge. I am certain that if I asked the next person I meet if he would want Truth to suppress controversy and debate, he would say no. Yet we all stand idly by while Truth claims that academicism is the only alternative to emotionalism. This raises another important point: His most steadfast claim is that censorship could benefit us. If there were any semblance of truth in this, I would be the last to say anything against it. As it stands, however, Truth might have been in a lethargic state of autointoxication when he said that the Eleventh Commandment is, “Thou shalt heat the cauldron of terror until it boils over into our daily lives”. More likely, perhaps, is that people tell me that I’m honestly afraid of namby-pamby, vindictive lazy-types. And the people who tell me this are correct, of course.
Truth’s histrionics are just an outcropping of his hatred of us. It is unclear whether this is because I want to speak in the strongest possible terms against Truth’s demands, because I, not being one of the many audacious, untrustworthy cozeners of this world, am starting a grassroots campaign with the sole purpose of stopping Truth, or a combination of the two. His hariolations are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, I, speaking as someone who is not an irrational, brazen chiseler, am hurt, furious, and embarrassed. Why am I hurt? Because he may unwittingly interfere with a person’s work performance, bodily security, physical movement, and privacy rights. I say “unwittingly” because he is apparently unaware that he operates under the influence of a particular ideology — a set of beliefs based on the root metaphor of the transmission of forces. Until you understand this root metaphor you won’t be able to grasp why Truth sees the world as somewhat anarchic, a game of catch-as-catch-can in which the sneakiest sods nab the biggest prizes. Why am I furious? Because he teaches workshops on diabolism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp. And why am I embarrassed? Because breaking down our communities is considered de rigueur by his retinue. Truth’s supporters probably don’t realize that because it’s not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, I never used to be particularly concerned about his accusations. Any damned fool, or so I thought, could see that I do not have the time, in one sitting, to go into the long answer as to why his perceptions are a quick-fix detour, a placebo aimed at surface symptoms, and an excuse to convince warped freeloaders that there is absolutely nothing they can do to better their lot in life besides joining him. But the short answer is that if I were a complete sap, I’d believe his line that everyone who doesn’t share his beliefs is an amoral loudmouth deserving of death and damnation. Unfortunately for him, I realize that a recent fact-finder’s report revealed that Truth’s the type of person who would belittle all fine social standards if he got the chance. Truth vehemently denies that, of course. But he obviously would because as he matures emotionally he’ll eventually grow out of his present way of thinking and come to realize that if we’re to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to lead us all toward a better, brighter future. Finally, any mistakes in this letter are strictly my fault. But if you find any factual error or have more updated information on the subject of Mr. Truth, Truth-inspired versions of absolutism, etc., please tell me so I can write an even stronger letter next time.
t4toby said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:33
My apologies to mikey.
I have this need to feed the poor, pathetic trolls.
rotten mcdonald said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:34
What bases-clearing hail-mary mad minute of vacuous spew will they desperately clasp to their heaving chest …
fuckin poetry, man.
Rick Massimo said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:35
Oh, that’s easy. Every executive order – hell, every single action by the federal government – for the next four years will be taken to court. They’ll all be invalid because the president shouldn’t be president.
schadenfreude pie said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:37
I love the smell of desperation in the morning
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:37
Rejection comes quickly for Mr. Donofrio today.
He was better as the human-skin-wearing alien cockroach in Men in Black anyway.
bliekker said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:40
leading to the immolation on the roads of five children.
These five children owned a road?
Fadge Not, Dear Truth said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:40
One of my favorite movie villains, EvAr!!!1!
Simba B said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:43
I don’t think I’ve seen a complaint generator comment since the days of Alkon yore.
Rick Massimo said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:43
Bingo! From the above-mentioned JR Dieckmann:
“It would mean that every directive, every Executive Order, every piece of legislation, every “signing statement” and 100% of his Cabinet plus thousands of other appointments would be unlawful. Any judicial appointees would have to resign.”
And of course, he “reasons,” Biden couldn’t become president because he was appointed by an illegitimate president, so the House would appoint an acting president, and God help us, since they would follow the Obama precedent and appoint a straight-up foreigner.
My favorite part, though, is how he can come up with reasons why all the other traitor/liberals, like Hannity, are cooperating in the coverup, but he can’t come up with one reason why Rush isn’t all over this. It completely mystifies him.
And of course, ” …he will be considered an illegitimate usurper of the presidency by at least half of the American people and will be given none of the respect and allegiance afforded to other presidents.
He will be viewed as a traitor to this country from the day he takes the oath of office and America will be considered a country without a president. Furthermore if the military has any patriotism for America, they will consider themselves to be armed forces without a Commander in Chief. There will be no uniting of the country, only further division and animosity toward the president and the government.”
Which he totally won’t be if he shows JR Dieckmann a birth certificate. Then he will totally accept him as president and it will be the end of the matter. Totally. Really. Seriously.
For God’s sake, don’t click on the link. Trust me. This is what he’s really saying.
Smut Clyde said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:45
Above: ‘BAKED’?
Half-right.
take it easy on the mentally deficient. They’re just asking for a mulligan, after all.
In fact I was asking for a bowl of mulligatawny but the waiter wrote down the wrong order.
Mooser said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:54
Whenever I get one of those “Obama is no legitimate” fools, I always make sure to tell them they will get over it by Obama’s third term, and learn to love him by the fourth term.
After that, just blow on them and they fall over.
stryx said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:56
O/T, but the RSS comments feed in FF now lists the author as well as the thread it was posted to.
Sweet. Now I can keep track.
t4toby said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:56
I decided it was time to dust off the generator for Twoof, but at least I limited it to 5 paragraphs. I could’ve gone for 10.
Mooser said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:57
Furthermore if the military has any patriotism for America, they will consider themselves to be armed forces without a Commander in Chief.
My gott in himmel, Obama might try to bring them back from Iraq! Don’t let him, GI Joe and Jane, you know how badly you want to stay for another tour or four!
alec said,
December 9, 2008 at 22:58
One wonders what he thinks about the people who have faced courts-martial after refusing deployment to Iraq, on grounds of it being an unconstitutional war declared by an unelected President.
One doesn’t, really, but one does from time to time enjoy being a jackass about these things.
Ah, hte tone. Can you feel it changing?
Hilarious Side-Effects Of Creating An Obsessive Personality Cult #2254: Evidently these people no longer understand how government actually works, and as such believe executive power is a complete function of the President. So the Cabinet being an Executive body only appointed by the President – in fact, in an apresidential US chances are pretty good the best bet for an executive body would be a Congress-elected Cabinet – the Justice Department being an autocephalous body with an even weaker relationship to the President’s office, and the complete constitutional separation of the Vice-Presidential and Presidential elections (it is technically possible, although ludicrously unlikely, for Biden not to be college-elected VP) – all meaningless bits of trivia in the face of the coming Heart of Darkness House.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:02
Heh heh heh:
Has late withdrawal ever been a solution?
Simba B said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:02
O/T, but the RSS comments feed in FF now lists the author as well as the thread it was posted to.
I’ve always seen both using Liferea, as well as the Akregator software that ships with KDE.
The author is embedded in a dedicated tag (and displayed elsewhere in the GUI) and the subject line says “Comment on (thread) by (name)”.
The only thing that has changed for me is that the URLs in the feed now take the form of (roughly, to avoid flagging this comment as spam) ‘www.domain.tld/archives/nnnnn.html/comment-page-n#comment-nnnnnn’. The comment-page-n part was not there before.
Something’s change w.r.t. the RSS comments feed, no idea what it is.
chocolatepie said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:02
On peak wingnut, I cannot help but be reminded of a little unknown film we erudites like to call Office Space:
Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that’s messed up.
Smut Clyde said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:02
organizing a campaign to defeat presidential term limits
I think you will find that term limits only apply to presidents who meet the “natural born citizen” criterion. Obama gains an automatic exemption.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:03
One wonders what he thinks about the people who have faced courts-martial after refusing deployment to Iraq, on grounds of it being an unconstitutional war declared by an unelected President. One doesn’t, really, but one does from time to time enjoy being a jackass about these things.
I’m the same kind of jackass from time to time. It had occurred to me that the wingnuts aren’t even being original about all their illegit-president ravings. They just have to hunt around Democratic Underground for the loonier stuff the embarrassing people on our side have been saying since 2000.
Cottage Industries said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:04
I don’t know what to make of Princess Rick Massimo’s expedients. On the one hand, we must draw the line somewhere. But on the other hand, there’s a predaceous loan shark born every minute. Let me begin by citing a range of examples from the public sphere. For starters, if I have a bias, it is only against power-drunk prevaricators who dump effluent into creeks, lakes, streams, and rivers. Above all, there is something patently querulous in the notion that children should belong to the state. If Rick can’t cite the basis for his claim that he understands the difference between civilization and savagery then he should just shut up about it. Help me subject Princess Rick Massimo’s histrionics to the rigorous scrutiny they warrant. Join your hands with mine in this, the greatest cause of our time.
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:04
Look, bottom line: when can we start referring to Barack Obama as Kang?
alec said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:05
Quickly, tell the public! Maybe they’ll finally realize how out of touch with America Illinois is and elect John McCain!!!!11!
PS: I like how your guilt-by-association things are growing steadily more incoherent and ridiculous. Obama is impugned by Blago’s mere presence – the fact that Obama picked a successor without any pecuniary motive was a major motivator in the decision by the notoriously avaricious governor to farm out the nomination.
Long story short: not only is it Obama’s fault that a governor from the opposing party gave out driver’s licenses, but it’s his fault that the current governor, while directly working against him, decided to try and auction off a Senate seat.
Of course, because someone named Jesse Jackson is involved, needless to say you’ll be obsessing over this until they bury you. It proves once and for all that you were right all along about the secret cabal of hook-nosed black bankers running America!!!!
Righteous Bubba said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:06
Ooh, I gotta go trolling somewhere with that…
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:06
when can we start referring to Barack Obama as Kang?
Kang like the alien, or “kang” like he’s got some kind of royal thang?
Olexicon said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:08
Does Dick Durbin’s love of teh Constitution of teh United Stae earn him the “Scumbag” designation from the Alleged “Truth”
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:08
As in the alien?
I want to know so I can get to Cafepress and start making up some “Don’t Blame Me! I voted for McKodos!” stickers.
Mooser said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:08
Looks like it’s true! The headline over at TPM reads: Who Gets to Name Obama’s Sucessor?”
alec said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:09
God damn it: your despicable levity has forced me, per Internets Law, to post a link to a Google search for ‘barack obama + “thug thizzle”.
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:11
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY
Ain’ no thang!
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:12
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY
Hoo boy, yes.
Olexicon said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:13
Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:15
http://adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/blabel2.jpg
http://iconocla.st/dr.bronner/
I rest my case, your honor.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:17
I CAN’T EAT FLAGS.
alec said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:18
It is true that Blago has been nailed for a dizzying array of corruption charges, the icing on the cake being an evident effort to sell the now-open Senate seat – evidently inspired by Obama giving him an appointment he would trust personally and ideologically. [His response, in his words but somewhat abridged: "That motherfucker. He wants to appoint a replacement? For nothing? Fuck him."]
The logic of machine politics, peculiar to areas where a strongly geographic sense of partisan loyalty exists but both parties have a large urban/working-poor base (and something for which Illinois is infamous, although the electorally-disadvantaged, cash-strapped GOP much, much more so than the Dems), is indeed against the sort of basically non-pecuniary appointment made by Obama. This is local politics as usual in Illinois – and it’s not actually that terrible a thing compared to the vicious Solomonic baby-slashing that occurs in areas with sharp urban-rural divides [in NV, for instance, the flagging GOP is going whole-hog in an effort to gut the University of Nevada and various vital urban programmes in response to finally losing Reno], but it’s still filthy.
Also, I really wouldn’t be surprised if there were prior posts in which Pravda referred to Fitzgerald as a filthy mick thug – he played a serious role in bringing the Plame affair to a head, after all.
chocolatepie said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:19
When rich AND politically-connected children are kidnapped, they ask for randsome randthensome.
Smut Clyde said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:24
If we are arguing that erstwhile Illinois senators must be personally corrupt because they have fought their way up through the long-standing corruption of Illinois politics, I shudder to think what that says about the non-integrity of anyone who fights his way to the top of US national politics.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:25
…it’s not actually that terrible a thing compared to the vicious Solomonic baby-slashing that occurs in areas with sharp urban-rural divides…
Do you know much about Utah politics? Embarrassingly, I don’t, despite living there. I could imagine some stuff like what you mention in NV going on. I’ve heard about, from time to time, some astonishing shit coming up in the Legislature, like laws designed basically as revenge for minor personal embarrassments. There was one such in the 90s, IIRC, that would have seriously defunded the University of Utah just because some legislator got his nose out of joint about something the U. president said.
I can imagine UT politics are a major sewer, with both a sharp urban/rural divide going PLUS a major corporation/religion pulling strings.
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:29
I CAN’T EAT FLAGS.
Let them eat babies.
Pere Ubu said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:30
Ain’ no thang!
RAAAAAAAAACIIIIIIIST!
Pere Ubu said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:30
Let them eat babies.
Didn’t someone write a book about that once?
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:31
Didn’t someone write a book about that once?
I think he has a blog now.
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:32
Didn’t someone write a book about that once?
That was about live babies, I’m referring to the aborted ones.
They taste better fresh out of the oven.
Pere Ubu said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:33
MSN.com:
Muslims stone ‘devil’ as hajj nears end
I didn’t realize Cheney was anywhere near Mecca.
tigrismus said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:34
All of this is explained in great detail on the label of Dr. Bronners Peppermint Soap (which gives my manly parts a rash, by the way)
Jesus, RIM, you have to Dilute! Dilute! OK!
tigrismus said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:40
I like how Durbin’s a “scumbag” not for doing anything bad himself, but for pleading mercy for a Republican who did bad stuff. Obviously that Jesusy crap is totally over-rated, especially at War-on-Christmastime.
Andrew said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:42
“America will be considered a country without a president”
Ooh, I see where this is going. This is going to be awesome.
See, there’s some “Catholics” who think that Popes John XXIII and Paul VI (and all subsequent popes) were illegitimate; consequently, the Catholic church has been without a pope since the 1960’s. Naturally, there’s a rich supply of weirdos who’ve declared themselves Popes. There’s a guy in Montana, Pope Pius XIII, and another guy in Kansas who lives with his parents and calls himself Pope Michael I, and a bunch of others. I’m kind of partial to Michael; he’s got a great website.
Clearly the next step for these folks who think Obama can’t be President is to declare themselves president. Should be some fun reading coming up in the next couple of months.
Pere Ubu said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:43
Dr. Bronners Peppermint Soap
May I mention that the Doctor’s Peppermint Soap is VERY refreshing in the summer.
LD said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:44
I never understood peoples line of thinking considering “peak wingnut”. Isn’t wingnutism a renewable resource? It seems like one to me, and as such it can’t have a peak wingnut.
On a sidenote, how long before ruined economy will be blamed on Barry Barack Osama Hussein Obama Malcom X?
Bitter Scribe said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:45
So what crazy will they pull out of their ass then? What bases-clearing hail-mary mad minute of vacuous spew will they desperately clasp to their heaving chest once Our Man from Indonesia actually takes office?
My guess is it’ll have something to do with the governor of Illinois getting indicted. I mean, they’re from the same state. What more do you need?
Smut Clyde said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:45
OT. I’m supposed to be reading and critiquing a student’s masterate thesis on narcissism in corporate structures.
Cutting out the citations for brevity:
“Narcissism has also been found to be strongly associated with a high degree of impulsivity and risk taking. For example recent research by [...] found narcissists to be highly motivated to achieve desirable outcomes but very weakly motivated to avoid more negative outcomes. Summarily, [...] found that narcissists have a heightened risk acceptance based on overconfidence combined with myopic focus on rewards.
“Narcissism has been shown in correlation studies to be negatively related to pro-social behaviours such as, agreeableness [], affiliation [], and empathy []. Narcissism has been positively related to hostility and anger and displaced aggression towards innocent others [], and similarly, aggression towards others based on entitlement and exploitativeness [], cynicism and mistrust of others [], over rating their performance [], striving to associate only with others of high status [], high need for power and low need for intimacy [], others’ disinterest in interacting with them [], lack of empathy []. Bizumic and Duckitt [], found that narcissists not only held selfish and exploitative attitudes in general but also towards the group they were most closely affiliated with.”
Indeed.
The Truth said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:46
October 28, 2008 at 15:17
Various liberal posters proclaim
Jesus, imagine having a President who actually talks like this.
Give me a week.
It is not going to happen, liberals. Your echo chamber is reverberating now with your shouts of victory before you’ve won a single state. I almost feel badly for you, because when McCain wins, your astonishment will be overwhelming. I say “almost” because your ideology is nasty, anti-free speech, and absolutist, and every decent person will sigh in relief when it goes down to defeat once more.
Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.
My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.
Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.
Bitter Scribe said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:48
It’s Blagojevich, sir. The Polacks are considered white people now, so you can spell their names right.
*cough Serbs cough*
Smut Clyde said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:48
There’s a guy in Montana, Pope Pius XIII, and another guy in Kansas who lives with his parents and calls himself Pope Michael I, and a bunch of others.
The position of Pope John XX is still open.
Learned that from reading Jurgen.
Dan Someone said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:49
OT, but the Original Dick in a Box, Pat Boone, is comparing anti-Prop 8 protesters to the Mumbai terrorists.
And some people thought wingnuttism was dead…
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:49
The Truth said,
BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING!
actor212 said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:50
On a sidenote, how long before ruined economy will be blamed on Barry Barack Osama Hussein Obama Malcom X?
I get a lot of “Clinton did this” at my blog, so I suspect there may still be some time before B. Hussein Obama has to own up to the failings of the past eight years.
Pere Ubu said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:51
Clearly the next step for these folks who think Obama can’t be President is to declare themselves president.
Kind of like Emperor Norton I, except stupid & evil.
Yup, fun times ahead, especially when they start to print their own money. I’d advise watching the checkout counters at Wal-Mart, Sizzler and Shoney’s.
Pere Ubu said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:54
On a sidenote, how long before ruined economy will be blamed on Barry Barack Osama Hussein Obama Malcom X?
I thought it was already his fault.
BTW, how about that $2/gallon gas Michelle Bachmann told us we’d be paying only if we elected McCain? Wonder how that ever turned out.
alec said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:54
Black smoke, no Pope; white smoke, new Pope; orange smoke, pajama-Pope.
Cottage Industries said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:57
Pink smoke, Gay Islamofascist Pope!
alec said,
December 9, 2008 at 23:57
Afraid not, although half of our state is basically a western annex of Utah anyway. My guess is that it’d be slightly less savage – Carson City is electorally competitive, so nobody can afford to be particularly magnanimous. Stepping on the Democratic Party in Utah would be slightly pointless.
Although that certainly wouldn’t keep them from occasionally screwing with the settlement belt out of pure spite, I imagine.
actor212 said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:00
No smoke, radio.
The Truth said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:02
You know what? I’ll just keep yammering away, and hope that everyone here’s just forgotten about all the other stuff I was completely wrong about.
alec said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:02
Also, is there something campy in the air? I’m utterly baffled by how often the discussion in the last couple of days has turned to the Vatican – its blessing a forest of true crosses and a forgeful of true nails, its free-market competition in Montana. My guess is that the next turn will inevitably be the celebratory touching of boys, although this being a liberal blog that’s only a couple of good hours away anyway.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:02
Stepping on the Democratic Party in Utah would be slightly pointless. Although that certainly wouldn’t keep them from occasionally screwing with the settlement belt out of pure spite, I imagine.
From what I can tell, this is right on. Park City does get scolded as the local Sodom (or maybe Gomorrah) fairly often, but it doesn’t seem to come to much because it brings in a lot of money.
alec said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:05
To anyone who uses a pie-script: bear in mind that Twoofy is a pretty useful windsock in that his posts invariably coincide with (a) recent RNC talking points, (b) the selection of a new hate object by talk radio, or (c) the Black Conspiracy acting up again.
His gabbering is generally followed on swift wings by a heh-indeedy by Doctor and Miss Randroid (the latter’s maiden name, to clarify, being Robot-Fuckin’ Reynolds). We’re actually sort of lucky to have someone so utterly devoid of the capacity for independent thought.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:05
So what crazy will they pull out of their ass then? What bases-clearing hail-mary mad minute of vacuous spew will they desperately clasp to their heaving chest once Our Man from Indonesia actually takes office?
I don’t know about in the longer term, but I expect some performances like the epic meltdown at TBogg’s, purportedly by Ace O’ Spades, on the day the 110th Congress was sworn in.
PeeJ said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:08
“Narcissism has also been found…
Yeah yeah yeah but let’s talk about me.
PeeJ said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:23
my OT of the day:
I was looking for a FQotD (Freeper Quote of the Day) when I ran across this. It’s not actually from freeperville (aka the village of the damned) rather from ABC news.com. But I’m sure this person is a fan.
DrDick said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:31
On a sidenote, how long before ruined economy will be blamed on Barry Barack Osama Hussein Obama Malcom X?
Last week.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:33
Last week.
I think the really early adopters dropped this on Election Night. But it isn’t conventional wisdom just yet – I think it’s still being argued over whether the problems are Obama’s fault, Clinton’s, Carter’s, FDR’s, or LBJ’s.
Smut Clyde said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:34
I’m utterly baffled by how often the discussion in the last couple of days has turned to the Vatican
TBogg received the memo:
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:34
…wait, not Election night, but the minute it became clear that the economy problems could no longer be denied. Remember all the “stock market drops because a poll showed Obama in the lead” stories? Do they count?
J— said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:35
Could this man be the Leo Donofrio, Esquire?
DrDick said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:37
I think the really early adopters dropped this on Election Night. But it isn’t conventional wisdom just yet – I think it’s still being argued over whether the problems are Obama’s fault, Clinton’s, Carter’s, FDR’s, or LBJ’s.
Wait a couple of weeks and they will pin the blame on Roosevelt (always a favorite target of the wingnuts).
Michael Cerularius said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:37
I just wanted to say, THERE IS NO FUCKING POPE IN ROME. Fucking god damn wops. Mind their own god damned business for once, eh?
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:40
Wait a couple of weeks and they will pin the blame on Roosevelt…
That’s the way I’d bet, all right. They’ll claim Obama is in some ways a reincarnation of Roosevelt, by way of Indonesia or whatever.
With an appeasingly appeasery dash of Neville Chamberlain, only they don’t know Chamberlain’s first name.
J— said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:42
Do narcissists in corporate structures turn into pretty flowers like their namesake?
Rusty Shackleford (not that one) said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:46
No, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Scalia is probably doing this procedurally, in order to make the suit go efficiently bye-bye and to prevent these Mirth Certificate wackamaroons from bothering each Justice, in turn, forever and for the rest of their lives.
That’s my take on it, too.
mikey said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:48
I’m pretty sure Michael meant THERE IS NO POPE FUCKING IN ROME. You see, you cannot fuck the pope in Rome. You have to take him to a romantic Mediterranean seacoast hideaway, perhaps Livorno.
There is POPE FUCKING IN LIVORNO…
mikey
t4toby said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:50
Pope Fucking. Ewwww.
Seriously. Ew.
The guy who has to clean The Chamber of Hard Thinking. said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:51
What is so funny about setting farts on fire? The scorch marks DO NOT come out.
And Zima is hell to get off a ceiling fan.
The f-cking cheap robes all stain the floor when the “Zima rain” comes down. And Zima is hell to get off a ceiling fan.
And I want gloves and tongs to pick up the kleenex and pictures of Sarah Palin.
Livorno Tourism Promotion Board said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:51
There is POPE FUCKING IN LIVORNO
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:52
Seriously. Ew.
Yeah, this new guy they have looks too much like Skeletor to get me hot-n-bothered.
DrDick said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:52
There is POPE FUCKING IN LIVORNO…
But only if you are a 12 year old boy. And you don’t fuck the Pope, the Pope fucks you.
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:52
the Original Dick in a Box, Pat Boone, is comparing anti-Prop 8 protesters to the Mumbai terrorists.
I loved Pat’s Swedish Death Metal phase…………(sigh).
Pamplono Tourism Promotion Board said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:53
Come on, people. You’d rather race a stampede of wild bulls than fuck a pope, right?
Right?
t4toby said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:53
In Livorino, Pope fucks you.
DrDick said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:55
Come on, people. You’d rather race a stampede of wild bulls than fuck a pope, right?
Actually, I would rather listen to Twoofy’s incoherent rants than fuck the Pope. Fortunately I do not have to do either (all praise to killfile!).
Bitter Scribe said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:56
Truth, I’d say Obama has exactly as much responsibility for Ryan and Blago as Sarah Palin does for Ted Stevens.
BTW:
Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.
My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.
I know that’s been on this thread already, but I just can’t get enough of it!
Smut Clyde said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:56
I kinda like the idea of Pope Fucking, the first Austrian-born cardinal to be elected to St Peter’s throne.
Drunken New Zealand tourist said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:57
OK, first job done. Now where’s this stampede of wild popes I have to out-run?
Another kiwi said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:58
I think he’d be kind of needy, afterwards.
Pere Ubu said,
December 10, 2008 at 0:59
Drunken New Zealand tourist
Is that a redundancy?
jurassicpork said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:02
As a personal aside to Harry Reid and Jan Schakowski: Shut the Fuck Up. Why are they getting involved with a state matter and where were these condemnations when they still had a chance to impeach Bush and Cheney?
DrDick said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:02
Is that a redundancy?
No, but sober New Zealand tourist is an oxymoron.
mikey said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:03
Is that a redundancy?
Certainly not.
Some Drunken New Zelanders stay home for vacation…
mikey
Rusty Shackleford (not that one) said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:03
Arlen Williams has been an organizer of campaign activities in Illinois and Wisconsin, in addition to a career in technology sales.
Hawking cell phones from a cart at the mall is a “career”?
Another kiwi said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:10
We call him the Prime Minister
Loneoak said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:11
Sooo … does anyone else suspect that Blago was just trying to raise some cash to buy a better toupee? That thing is hideous.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:12
Via TPM
Righteous Bubba said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:14
Y’know the election could have been more awesome if Joe the Plumber had gone rogue.
DrDick said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:14
Wurzelbacher told conservative radio host Glenn Beck that he felt “dirty”
Obviously they did not offer him enough money.
Pere Ubu said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:15
Wurzelbacher told conservative radio host Glenn Beck that he felt “dirty” after “being on the campaign trail and seeing some of the things that take place.”
He shouldn’t have tapped his foot.
Loneoak said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:15
Wurzelbacher told conservative radio host Glenn Beck that he felt “dirty”
He’s likely been to Livorno recently. Someone should check his passport records.
WereBear said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:15
I prefer to think of wingnuts as quantumly decoherent.
Pere Ubu said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:17
conservative radio host Glenn Beck
I suppose that’s more acceptable in your average family newspaper than “right-wing flibbety-floo crackers batshit insane moron shitty-book-writing-hack radio host Glenn Beck”.
J— said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:19
Wurzelbacher told conservative radio host Glenn Beck that he felt “dirty” after “being on the campaign trail and seeing some of the things that take place.”
The McCain campaign made a stop in Livorno? Could this be this the cause of Joe the Plumber’s falling out with John the Maverick? Could this great schism have its root in jism? So many questions!
tigrismus said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:19
A “dirty Wurzelbacher” is like a “dirty Sanchez” but with pipe dope.
DrDick said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:22
I prefer to think of wingnuts as quantumly decoherent.
I suppose that would make wingnut stupid a quantum dysfunction?
Another kiwi said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:23
Aside from being a media seeking missile of negotiable virtue (Pratchett 1990’s) Joe felt dirty.
Righto.
Sure it wasn’t an invitation to a manly shower, Glenn?
Brandi said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:26
Anyone want to practice knot-tying on Troofie’s prolapse?
El Cid said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:29
Speaking of Glenn Beck, I’m still dying to know how many people bought movie theater tickets to go see the live HD theater simulcast of his night of Glenn Beck comedy this past summer.
Did it sell out across the nation? Were people waiting in line to go to a movie theater to watch Glenn Beck give his awesome, insightful, shocking comedy live in HD?
I’d like to know!
El Cid said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:32
I refer to this:
Man, I bet it sold out at all 320 theaters! I bet he’s gearing up his anti-Michael Moore film production crew as we speak, drawing on the success of An American Carol! I bet “the industry” took “notice” indeed!
Pere Ubu said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:32
his night of Glenn Beck comedy
The quietest hour of your life you’ll ever experience! Bring a book – you’ll need it.
Drunken New Zealand tourist said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:33
Is that a redundancy?
The doctors said I had an inoperable pleonasm.
WereBear said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:37
Just the thought of Glenn Beck in HD is making me queasy.
He’s hard enough to take in little jpegs.
Smut Clyde said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:44
I thought “little jpegs” are the extra-stimulation-providing bits on novelty condoms.
DrDick said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:46
He’s hard enough to take in little jpegs.
Those would be jpegs in an ‘l-hole?
Righteous Bubba said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:49
I believe I will join this.
mikey said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:49
I dunno. It seems, well, fitting to me.
Glenn Beck in High Density.
Glenn Beck’s density approaches infinity, indeed, he is the very collapsed pundit core, a veritable Neutron-Pundit spinning at thousands of RPM radiating extremely high energy stupid in focused pulses. Beck’s density is so great that in the gravitational lens he forms in the punditsphere Limbaugh looks slender and wise. Beck is so dense a mere tablespoon of material from Beck’s surface would weigh as much as ten or twenty thousand Atrios, or at least five thousand Avarosis.
Indeed, we lack the tools to accurately measure Glenn Beck’s density, and can only estimate it based on the way his stupidity field interacts with the space time continuum.
Huh?
High Definition??
Oh.
Carry on, then…
mikey
Simba B said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:51
I believe I will join this.
Oh dear. This is just asking for trouble.
DrDick said,
December 10, 2008 at 1:56
Simba B. – That achieves its own special level and category of stupid.
Simba B said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:02
Note I do not approve, I’m just saying.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:10
It’s not mailing me my confirmation god damn it. I was surprised to find that nobody had taken username Barack_Hussein_Obama.
WereBear said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:12
I am not quite sure what that link was about, since there were popups inviting me to do things I am neither equipped for, nor interested in.
And they claimed they were in my own town!
Somehow, I doubt it.
Jacob Singer said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:12
Mikey’s really been on a roll lately.
Simba B said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:22
Yeah….uh, it does occur to me that I have ad-blockers and script disabling addons out the wazoo, so if you don’t, don’t click that link.
Sorry guys.
On a more positive note, Firefox/Adblock/Noscript/etc. are nice to have.
MzNicky said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:24
Anyone want to practice knot-tying on Troofie’s prolapse?
I like to think I speak for the entire Internets when I say “no.”
MzNicky said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:26
Speaking of Glenn Beck, I’m still dying to know how many people bought movie theater tickets to go see the live HD theater simulcast of his night of Glenn Beck comedy this past summer.
Oddly, the revenues did not approach those of the blockbuster “An American Carol.”
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:26
The high definition “Beck ‘08 — Live,” beamed from the Majestic Theatre in Dallas, will be played at five Northern Virginia theaters
I thought it was that music playin; feller, it weren’t.
Although this one did a weird version of “I’m a loser”….
MzNicky said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:28
I thought “little jpegs” are the extra-stimulation-providing bits on novelty condoms.
I thought they were the names I gave my children’s toes when they were babies and I was entertaining myself by making them squeal uncontrollably.
OneMan said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:29
“Mikey’s really been on a roll lately.”
Yeah, that’s better than when he was on a bun. Too chewy.
OneMan said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:31
“…making them squeal uncontrollably.”
I bet one-a those novelty condoms would-a done the trick.
What?
MzNicky said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:32
RB: “Muslim lifestyle”?
SimbaB: uh — ??
There are so many things on the InterTubes I am glad I don’t understand.
MzNicky said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:33
OneMan: Back off, buster. These are my kidz yer talkin’ about.
OneMan said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:38
OK, perhaps a teensy bit over the line. But there it was, all teed up nice and pretty, I just had to take a swing at it.
Y’know?
Smut Clyde said,
December 10, 2008 at 2:56
He’s hard enough to take in little jpegs.
So how hard do you need to be before you can absorb those little jpegs?
WereBear said,
December 10, 2008 at 3:54
I guess what I was trying to say is that I prefer my Glenn Beck small and blurry.
Even, dare I wish, artifacted.
It seems to me the whole point of the wingnut birth certificate exercise is simply to have a suitably idiotic and conspiratorial excuse to whine about the new President.
I would dig up every mention they once made of we have to support the President because he’s the President during the last eight years…
but I have not world enough, nor time.
However, if we get the Google people on it, I believe we could create an object of sufficient mass that could draw in wingnut protestations and send them swirling into the five digit levels of search pages, where very few go, and even fewer return.
objective observer said,
December 10, 2008 at 6:12
whatever, the queef. just keep on spouting your bullshit, pathetically hoping that everyone will ignore your microscopic penis, which i myself have seen and fucking laughed at after doing blow off bob owens’ love handles and all
i know your secrets, stupid fuck
Ezzthetic said,
December 10, 2008 at 10:26
aren’t they late for the Vril saucer evacuation
I just love the way a page about saucers claims to be based on reliable sources.
It’s just so cute.
Rusty Shackleford (not that one) said,
December 10, 2008 at 16:46
Glenn Beck on silver screen for one night only
Would that he make a similar promise for television.