Alternative Shorter Confederate Yankee:

“Stop assassinating yourself. Stop assassinating yourself.”

As a result of his unnecessary obstinance, the number of disillusioned citizens will grow, leading to an increase in “chatter” which will make it more difficult for the Secret Service to discern legitimate threats against the President from the rantings of mere blowhards. When the chatter obscures true threats, then the opportunity of an incident occurring rises.

Obama should give in to the nutjobs we have enabled.

I’m sorry, I really have to ask, what the f*** is a “vault copy”? Is there some secret national base where all our original birth certificates are kept? And if so, why haven’t the “WUN WURLD GUBMIT” types been screaming about it for umpteen years about how it was going to be used to turn us all into Russian slaves etc.

The birth certificate repository has been abandoned for safety reasons, it was built on a vault line.

By the way, until Barack Obama presents me with his original ATM card and his PIN number, I will refuse to recognize he is him.

Where’s the vault copy of the receipt for that grill? How do we know it was his?

All your birth certificate are belong to us.

The fact is, I do not believe any of the “evidence” produced to prove Hussein Osama is a natural-born American citizen, and believe he is an illegetimete president, many other Americans think so too. When the vault copy is shown to not exist and Hussein Osama is exposed as a fraud, and he even entimidated the Supreme Court to his this — he will be impeached before he is seated.

The fault of the vaullt lies mainly with john galt?

Fake Gary tries too hard.

Misspellings are too obvious.

Obama: FINE. Whatever. Here, here’s the ‘vault copy’.

Kerners: OMG, see, we knew it was FAKE FAKE FAKEFAKEFAKE AAAAIIIIEEEE!!!!

Confederate Yankee: [shakes head sadly] why must Obama keep lying? It only prevents us from keeping him safe….

mikey

entimidated

Wasn’t that the plot of The Fly?

FYWP

entimidated
Wasn’t that the plot of The Fly?

I cannot be arsed searching Youtube for footage of the Sack of Isengard.

Ulp.

Abbreviation for the Latin ulpicum, a kind of leek, in this case in Owens’ pants.

You realize of course that we are in for 8 years of this crap.

Good times!!

Don’t you have to have a birth certificate for lots of things Obama has, like a passport, for example? Therefore United States Post Office, a branch of the federal government, accepts that this man is the one and only Barack Obama.

i’m really starting to see this issue as a huge win for us, and not just for the many many lols.

this is going to become the major fault line in the wingnut world. they are already attacking david horrowitz, LGF, screamin malkin, even fat druggie rush…they will literally eat themselves over this.

at freeper land any attempt to talk policy (even at the mental freeper level) is drowned out by cries of NO COLB NO PEACE. i think they will refuse to even accept any candidates that refuse to believe in the issue

noen said,

December 9, 2008 at 2:45

You realize of course that we are in for 8 years of this crap.
============================================================
Maybe the wingnut welfare providers will run out of money to fund this crap once they realize it isn’t providing returns.

Therefore United States Post Office

Don’t make me await silent Tristero’s empire all over again.

[I] believe he is an illegetimete [sic, of course] president, many other Americans think so too.

Yeah, well. Now you know what we non-morons have been living with for 8 years, so suck it.

Fuck off, Bob.

they will literally eat themselves over this.
A right-wing version of Dans ma peau.

they will literally eat themselves over this.

I for one stand ready to supply them with all the Heinz 57 sauce they require.

Mikey: They’re already trying to raise $20,000 for hiring forensic document specialists over at Democratic Disaster, which is “chaired” by one Dr. Douglass Schell.

Is this all a hustle? A gig? A delusion? I don’t know. It definitely is aggravating as hell.

Ittdgy
I suppose if that happens they take to the streets? I can’t see that working out well for them.

Maybe the wingnut welfare providers will run out of money to fund this crap once they realize it isn’t providing returns.

These are the returns: a permanent underground of Jack Chick-like nitwits who will never shut up. They’ll even spend their own money on idiotic lawsuits. No more money need be spent once the myth takes root.

Is this all a hustle? A gig? A delusion?

Yes to all three. But come on, there’s money to be made here! How long before the Hawaiian Press International, now residing in Norway, comes forward with the real long form birth certificate that unfortunately cannot be posted on their website until legal matters are resolved? Please send your contribution now to our legal defense fund. Only you can stop Obama’s Marxist plot!!

How long before the Hawaiian Press International, now residing in Norway, comes forward with the real long form birth certificate that unfortunately cannot be posted on their website until legal matters are resolved?

Unfortunately, the birth certificate is on analog cassette tape that has to be converted into a digital format. I am in the process of doing this but require 2.3 million dollars US cash to pay for these services. However much you can spare will be appreciated and used to promote the legitimacy of the American presidency, liberty, justice and freedom, so send cash money to: Rugged, c/o The Blood Clot Bar, Butte Montana, USA of America. Be sure to write the code words “Bar Tab” on the envelope.

In Hawaii vital records are archived and administered by the Office of Health Status Monitoring, a division of the state’s Department of Health. This office will issue either a certified copy of a vital record (like one of birth) or a ” letter of verification attesting to the existence of a requested record on file with the Department of Health,” these to applicants who prove they have a “direct and tangible interest in the record.” As Dragon-King Wangchuck notes in an earlier discussion, the former has already been made public and confirmed as authentic. If this does not count as a certified copy of his vault record (in other words, a copy of the original held in the Office of Health Status Monitoring’s archive, one that is issued by the Office with proof that it came from the Office and only the Office), I don’t know what would. The kooks are not going to get access to the original document. Which, of course, proves their point and is also central to it.

Brilliant! Why nobody has thought of working that angle before?

“By proposing this economic stimulus package, Obama shows utter disrespect for the Secret Service, since it is obvious a lot of people would want to assassinate him now”

“By giving a Cabinet-level job to a Japanese-American traitor of a general Obama shows utter disrespect for the Secret Service, since it is obvious a lot of people would want to assassinate him now”

The opportunities are endless…

Don’t you have to have a birth certificate for lots of things Obama has, like a passport, for example? Therefore United States Post Office, a branch of the federal government, accepts that this man is the one and only Barack Obama.

ah, but you see, the Post Office doesn’t have kerning experts.

After 7 years of listening to the 9-11 idiots it’ll be nice to hear tinfoil crap coming from the OTHER side of the aisle….

This is central to our point.
~

Now, Obama’s crypt copy is another story. For that, just talk to the Keeper. He’s very loquacious.

What’s the root of this “controversy” anyway?

There seem to be two versions of this – one that for some reason his citizenship is suspect because his father is foreign – which is a question having to do with how the law is applied, and the second that he was actually not born in the US. Both of which would require somehow that his mother’s citizenship be disqualified, too.

Is there some tiny seed of circumstance somewhere that this idea sprang from? Some slim reed of true fact that started this?

Or was it just some Wishful Thinkers that made the whole thing up from the start?

“Let’s see, he’s got a funny name and his Dad was African. He must be a furrener. Oh, he’s a citizen? there must be a secret conspiracy!”

No but the Post Office does have Jack Albertson working in the basement who decided to deliver all that mail to Obama Claus. Jack Albertson who went on to star with Freddie Prinz, Sr. who was all Mexicany and stuff. Thus, this proves Obama Claus is not American.

I think that the origin of the so-called vault copy come form the origins of the word “vault”.
It is a contraction of on High Anglo-Saxon phrase Vaten, which means “from” or pertaining to and Altenneighen , which means “The arse of my neighbour”.
Thus Anglo Saxons could store objects of value in a place that they would generally not talk much about. The striking irony of this origin is the fact that calls for the certificate to made public appear to originate from such places.

There seem to be two versions of this – one that for some reason his citizenship is suspect because his father is foreign – which is a question having to do with how the law is applied, and the second that he was actually not born in the US.

For purposes of citizenship the US generally does not give a shit if any other citizenship is claimed: you are or are not American. If you’re American any other citizenships that might in fact exist due to the nationality of one’s parents are neither here nor there.

better they all donate to this instead of the RNC or other candidats.

I’m TELLIN ya.

If there’s gonna be a bunch of cash “donations” flying around the intert00bz looking for someone who can use them to prove that Barack Obama cannot legally take the oath of office on 1/20, I’m pretty sure I can get in the way of some.

I mean, they’ve been buying low-hanging stupid up to this point. One of the problems with low-hanging stupid is it all begins to sound the same, kinda ho-hum, y’know? White noise idiocy.

What I can bring to the party is some air-it-out long-ball stupid, some stupid you not only never HEARD of before, but stupid you never even CONSIDERED. I have spent my whole life regretting that I never worked as a writer at a National Enquirer – type tabloid, but this could very well be my shot at redemption.

If I can give them weapons-grade stupid, a number of way out there storylines converging in a wildly improbable conclusion with myriad physical items of proof awaiting only their discovery or release. Adding to the story hourly, occasional and mysteriously going silent for days on end, confident, near arrogant statements of certainty complete with announcement schedules followed in short order by frantic cries for funds as life and limb are in immediate peril!!

Yeah. Let’s do this thing…

mikey

I think that the origin of the so-called vault copy come form the origins of the word “vault”.
It is a contraction of on High Anglo-Saxon phrase Vaten, which means “from” or pertaining to and Altenneighen , which means “The arse of my neighbour”.
Thus Anglo Saxons could store objects of value in a place that they would generally not talk much about. The striking irony of this origin is the fact that calls for the certificate to made public appear to originate from such places.

This would mean Obama’s birth record is currently housed in Bill Ayers’ butt. My kingdom for a search warrant!

Steve Weissman of Truthout penned an exclusive about Obama’s first major foreign policy speech within his first 100 days.

But the problem is that Barack Obama may put himself between a rock and a hard place since he’d already shamelessly sucked up to AIPAC last summer.

Of course, this isn’t as important as Obama’s birth certificate, but I gotta work with what I have…

The lack of the spaceship that Obama came to Earth in is mighty suspicious

Wouldn’t it be amazing if there actually was an original document somewhere? I mean, no microfilm salesmen ever took a trip to Hawaii? Scanning technology doesn’t exist?

I appreciate that microfiches start to smell bad after a while, but really…

For purposes of citizenship the US generally does not give a shit if any other citizenship is claimed: you are or are not American. If you’re American any other citizenships that might in fact exist due to the nationality of one’s parents are neither here nor there.

Oh, I know. I’m just trying to summarize the nut-cases’ two parallel arguments.

It does come down to that, right? 1) born of a furrener cai’nt be citizun, and 2) born outside the US.

Can I get a third? Oh, I forgot about the Malcolm X’s Love-child argument, which is even more convoluted because if that were the case, then with Malcolm and Ms Dunham BOTH being citizens then how could he not be a citizen….oh wait, they smuggled her to Canada before giving birth just for the express purpose of being able to create a conspiracy in concert with the entire state government of Hawaii.

I think I’m feeling a little woozy now and have to lie down.

Sometimes those microfichemongers drive a hard bargain.

I think you give the Republicans too much credit. They gave Obama the biggest pass in political history by not using the Rev Wright issue.

Wait a minute! How come this is the first time I’ve heard of this “Rev Wright”?

Oh, sorry.

Our righteous brethren are right to rightly insist on the right honorable “natural born-ness” of our citizen presidents, and the rightness of the “vault-ness” of their Certificates Of “Live-ness” Birth. I’d like to include the Shakespearean qualification of not being “…a man not born of a woman” MacDuff was ripped from his mother’s womb, and then he went and usurped the shit out of the rightful leader MacBeth!!! Just like that!!! Since we already all know he has Brittanic co-citizenship, I propose we insist that Obama produce his Ye Olde Testimonial Of Cervixical Extraction. Sic Semper MacTyrannis.

If I can give them weapons-grade stupid
Questions remain open about Mikey’s stupidity-enrichment program. His repeated claims to have only peaceful intentions for the resulting enriched stupid are not entirely convincing.

Exquisite typo:

Some people hate Barack Obama merely because he is ethically half African

Because, you know, those ethically challenged Africans, Bobby Mugabe, and so forth…

g – you’re treading in dangerous territory there if you’re trying to get to the heart of the wingnut mind. Here be dragons.

Sometimes those microfichemongers drive a hard bargain.
“Fiche and cheaps”, as our Australian cousins are wont to say.

just wait until the mouthbreathers start passing out extreme close up photos of the Bible Barry puts his hand on for the oath of office- taking it apart pixel, by pixel to prove that is was actually the KORAN!11!!

Then when it is proven that indeed it was the Bible, I will come out a week later claiming to be the craftsman who put a Bible cover OVER the Koran!11! While I would love to come out publicly, the LIE-bral media and Obama Death Squads keep me off the air. However, I will share my SHOCKING secret on DVD for only $29.99! How else will you keep YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FREE? Order now and get “Secret Killing Blows of the Mosad” for only an extra 19.95!

I think you give the Republicans too much credit. They gave Obama the biggest pass in political history by not using the Rev Wright issue.

I agree! And if ONLY McCain would have mentioned that he was once a POW! That would have been a game changer.

Those aluminum tubes Mikey bought and that he claims have only peaceful purposes could also be used in those centrifuges has has next to the grow lights in his basement.

Don’t make me await silent Tristero’s empire all over again.
Don’t ever antagonise the Hawaiians!

“Vault copy”?????

OK. TIDOS has officially plumbed new depths of batshit crazy and dumber than a stump. I think he also just covertly advocated assassinating the POTUS, a major no-no.

I appreciate that microfiches start to smell bad after a while

Only a little.

“My testing and evaluation period was coming to an end, and I’d either need to return the handguns to Smith & Wesson or buy them. Somehow, my wife just couldn’t understand why I needed more than one handgun at a time — much in the same way she couldn’t understand why I needed more fishing rods or why the spouse of a golfer can’t understand why their fanatic needs yet another wedge”

– Actually Bob, she does understand. After all, she has seen you naked. She understands more than you could ever know, because she also understands that no amount of Smith and Wesson .38’s with optional LAZER sights, polygraphite rods with extra-heavy tackle, “oversized head” drivers, hand rolled Dominican cigars, custom extra-long pool cues, “cigarette-style” motor boats or limited-edition replicas of WWII bayonets will ever, really, truly, satisfy *either* of you.

I would like to state unequivocally that I have opened my entire Stupidity Cycle processes up to International Stupidity Agency inspections and protocols.

I have declared ALL facilities for Stupidity management and enrichment, and have agreed in principal to a set of non-treaty “Additional Protocols of the Elders of Stuff” including video monitoring and intrusive inspections of all facilities and mosh pits.

I have filed reports with the ISA detailing the tattoos and misdemeanors of our stupidity research staff.

We have declared all our stupidity materials and are only researching stupidity for the peaceful purposes of defrauding wingnuts…

mikey

Does Geraldo get to open the vault? I want to watch that.

I think you give the Republicans too much credit. They gave Obama the biggest pass in political history by not using the Rev Wright issue.

Obama won every Kerry state by at least nine points. That starts him off with 251 electoral votes. He won Iowa by 9 points; that’s 260. Nevada was Obama +12; so there’s 265. Colorado was Obama +9, pushing Obama over 270 EVs.

So, the question is– if McCain had run assloads of Reverend Wright ads, would it have produced the necessary nine-point swing McCain would have needed? Not bloody likely, especially since Obama was keeping his “Keating Five” powder dry to use as a counterattack. Kerry states + NV + CO + IA was all Obama ever needed. Florida, Ohio, North Carolina, New Mexico, Virginia, Indiana and the bonus EV from Nebraska were all just icing on the cake.

Ok, you’re dangerously close to opening the thread up to that infamous gun-forum question “If you could have only ONE handgun it would be…”

[Sig P220 or HK USP .45]

mikey

“We’ve already seen people arrested for threatening Obama the candidate, ranging from meth-addled white supremacists,”
Oh Bob, don’t look down on supremacists who are addled because of meth. Not all of them are lucky enough to be born addled like you. We all know your oblique rationalizing will eventually get you to the same spot as your septum-reduced colleagues.

We have documents which establish that Mikey attempted to import partially-processed Stupid ore or ‘hash-cake’ from Amsterdam.

Wait, what?

“Amsterdam” is in Lebanon?

Hoo New?

mikey

Dear President Bush,
Thank you for doing everything you have done to protect me from danger. It has been seven years since my country has been attacked and some of my friends have been killed. Words cannot express my appreciation for the way you have handled one of the largest crises my country has ever faced. I know that you are not working alone to keep me safe, but as commander-in-chief, I could not have felt more secure with anyone other than you at the helm. Thank you for being a man of integrity, morals, selflessness and love for your fellow man. You are truly an inspiration.
God bless you and thank you from the bottom of my heart!
9/11/2008
!!! YOU WILL NOT GET SPAMMED IF YOU SIGN !!!

Wonkette strikes again
~

We have declared all our stupidity materials and are only researching stupidity for the peaceful purposes of defrauding wingnuts…

Yeah, the stupid research is always “peaceful” until you start showing people Pauly Shore films.

Pauly Shore films are low – grade, medical waste category Stupid….

mikey

I’ve linked to some doody-grade stupid, mikey.

Cornbob yankee’s little screed should probably be preserved in his permanent record in case anything regrettable happens.

I would like to thank the loony right for creating the perfect phrase with which to reference pure, unadulterated right wing lunacy: VAULT COPY.

‘Hey, Bill Kristol says only Republicans are manly enough to KeepUsSafe.’

‘Man, that’s some vault copy sh*t, right there baby.’

Not-intelligence sources state that Mikey is enriching stupidity. Further, they say, he is preparing Long Strange Delivery Systems, called Teevee, that will visit stupidity into the homes of citizens all over the world. International analysts have described this development as “way cool dude”.

Pauly Shore films are low – grade, medical waste category Stupid….

Oh, yeah, likely story – “why it’s just low-grade research stupid, we would NEVER work at refining it to ‘kaye grogan’ grade miltary stupid, oh no, never…”

well, we all know that Hussein’s birth certificate was in the possession of the Chicago City Comptroller before they mysteriously vanished from his place of residence after he was pushed out the 91st floor of the Hancock Center. It couldn’t be more suspicious if you made it up!

“Yellow snow stupid” is an unrefined stupid derived from Pauly Shore films. We must do all in our power to prevent certain unnamed parties from acquiring it lest our last warning be a yellow snow storm over Manhattan.

Look, the Obots of 1961 were so drunk on teh kool-aide that they took out an ad in the Honolulu newspaper claiming that the Obamas had a boy so in case their illegal immigrant son would ever want to run for President he could. Even if the vault copy of the birth certificate was found to be legitimate by such vetted experts such as Tech Dude and ummm that guy who has to keep his identity secret lest Obot assassins get to him… Anyways, even if the birth certificate is real and American, Obama really isn’t natural born because he has dual citizenship that lapsed and/or is secretly Indonesian, which, uhhh, completely invalidates the fact that he was born in Hawaii, because really he works for, umm, the Keynan and Indonesian governments????

Teh fact that Obama refused to engage such enlightened minds such as Texas Darlin and Pamalama-dingdong means that he is secretly hiding something and not just refusing to address crackpots.

from FR,
“The Supreme Court needs to decide if our nation is worth saving. We can handle riots and some violence. We can not handle loss in faith of the government by those of us who actually produce”

but can we survive a riot by those of us who produce endless birth certificate crazy?

I think I’m beginning to understand why Obama has been so reluctant to divulge his vault copy. From this brief summary of the vault’s contents, we learn that in his youth he penned and sang a “Blues for Allah.” Who knows what other secrets lurk in Obama’s vault and are revealed in its copies.

…$20,000 for hiring forensic document specialists…

I am writing to you sir to let you know I am a forensic document specialist for hire. I have many years of experiences in forensic documents specialities. All I require is a small down payment to get started immediately. Thank you!

We have documents which establish that Mikey attempted to import partially-processed Stupid ore or ‘hash-cake’ from Amsterdam.

In Amsterdam, if you call them stupid ‘ores they charge you double.

So I have heard.

What’s the root of this “controversy” anyway?

(psst — g: he’s blllaaaccckkk!!!1!!!!)

Plus also, uh: Even in their rabid stupiditude, do these clods not grasp that if there had EVER been any real doubt about Obama’s citizenship the Rethugs would have uncovered it and dealt in on like Day One?

I am writing to you sir to let you know I am a forensic document specialist for hire. I have many years of experiences in forensic documents specialities.

Yes, we can tell how long your comptroller has been dead by the types of larvae that have vanished from the files!

dealt it. “it.”

MzNicky, it is well know, not just throughout america and europe, but in every context and methodology know and analyzed down through history, from Charlemagne to Kennedy, it is undisputed fact that the one who smelt it dealt it.

And you cannot, in good faith or with any reasonable scholarship challenge this conclusion…

mikey

Fuck proposition 8.

That’s just criminal discrimination.

I want to marry Jeff Garcia.

‘Cause when it comes to homos, that dood is THE MAN!!

mikey

Holy shit. I don’t often actually, you know, read what you are talking about here on sadly, no, simply taking it on faith that such an obviously erudite and intelligent and articulate (enough adjectives?.. good) group is making fun of something that is worthy of being made fun of.

but holy shit, this moron is saying that if the idiot show-us-the-original-vault-certificate morons are not actually shown the original–yadayada– that THE THREAT TO THE PRESIDENT INCREASES.

Can’t these morons be dealt with somehow? Secret service, are you there? How about a little 8-year detention without habeus corpus, huh?

Even in their rabid stupiditude, do these clods not grasp that if there had EVER been any real doubt about Obama’s citizenship the Rethugs would have uncovered it

Depending on which wingnutty site you’re idly browsing through, they’ve got this one covered in one of two ways:

The Repubs, like Hillary, are in on the scam, for motives that aren’t clear at this point in time. All will be revealed.

Or, the Repubs — usually meaning Palin — have been “briefed”. Their beloved Sarah knows the whole truth and she is quietly waiting in the wings to step forward when the time is right. All will be revealed.

Or both. Why the hell not?

Totally O/T but I just want to mention that I saw David Byrne in concert last night. It was awesome. That is all.

“And you cannot, in good faith or with any reasonable scholarship challenge this conclusion…”

Teh Buttocks!

Pat — never, ever follow the links and read the article.

I can safely say that friend Bob here has set the new gold standard for concern trolling. McArdle may as well go full Gault now, because no one will ever be able to top this little number.

noen—
thanks. I think I might be too old for this.

For MzNicky:
David Byrne – Playing the Building

I saw David Byrne in concert last night. It was awesome.
Having bought tickets for his February concert here, I am gratified to hear that.

We can not handle loss in faith of the government by those of us who actually produce
With more and more Productive Members of Society threatening to lose faith in the government if their demands are not met, this “going John Galt” business has gone viral (as the kids say). This is deeply concerning. Experts have warned that unless steps are taken to contain the epidemic, a remake of Atlas Shrugs could occur as early as 2010.

i can see Palin in 2012, ranting about this at her klan/marry your cousin rallies…

“he’s not even a natural born ctizen but he pals around with domestic terrorists; this is a page right out of karl alinskiengles playbook manifesto because he doesnt like america like you and i do”

I am late to the game here, but the comments on wankee’s site were awesome. Especially when the “Dude” was not having any of it early on and then Rugged in Montana chimes in and wankee as last tells eveyone to ignore the troll.

The beauty of the 2008 election is that it seems to have made the wingnuts EVEN DUMBER. They’re gonna double down on the stupid and turn their party into a full-on Sarah Palin bonerfest.

Y’know, it can be a pretty lonely bonerfest if nobody else comes.

Sure, you gotcher lefty bonerfests all over the place.

But we’re staying rigid and pure for our Sarah…

I would hate to be a security guard at a Bonerfest, what with stopping the delegates and asking to check their credentials.
“I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to show me your boner fides.”

The beauty of the 2008 election is that it seems to have made the wingnuts EVEN DUMBER. They’re gonna double down on the stupid and turn their party into a full-on Sarah Palin bonerfest.

Exactly what I said the other day.

They’ve gone from just batshit insane to ALL CAPS GENUINE IMPORTED FINEST GUANO MONEY CAN BUY FLIBBERTY-FLOO BATSHIT INSANE in annoying flashing ANSI font.

Great thing is, by 2012 they should barely be able to even leave the house without attacking each other, much less go out and vote.

Thanks noen!

Smut Clyde: He does a lot of Talking Heads stuff and has a team of interpretive dancers as part of the show. It really was great.

Is that a boner in your pocket or are you just happy to be here at Bonerfest?

Yikes!

Whenever I hear the phrase “interpretive dancers” I reach for my revolver.

Pere

Yes, i think that is dead on…this is the conspiracy that will tear them apart..the base will never give this up, and will demand it as part of all repub campaigns

noen said,

Good times!!

That, and the wingnut tripe that the current problems with the economy are all Clinton’s fault.

As those of you who have read the Confederate Yankee’s post and comments will know, the Confederate Yankee insists this is a story pushed by people on the left side of the political spectrum, PUMAs, so this is our problem and right wingers like him are just commenting on it.

Oh, what’s this? Why, another post by the Confederate Yankee, just commenting on it. Again. It seems Justice Scalia has referred Wrotnowski v.Bysiewicz (another Obama ain’t a natural born man claim) to the full court for the 12/12/08 conference.

This Donofrio character, the one whose case just got denied, has a blog, in case you were wondering. He’s quite happy with Scalia’s decision, as are the majority of his AIP-style commenters. Commenter “Sane Person,” however, doesn’t believe in fairies.

Dear Genius,

It’s well known Supreme Court procedure that when a previously-denied application is resubmitted to another Justice — as this one was — that Justice refers the application to the whole court. That’s because almost every single resubmitted application is brought by a crackpot, and is without merit.

So rather than allow the applicant to keep re-submitting to every single Justice until at least six justices have separately denied it, the second Justice refers it to the entire Court, which usually spends about one second “considering” it, and then denies it as a whole, thus putting the application out of its misery once and for all.

Seriously, if the supreme court does anything other than decline to trake up the case after the confrence. I’ll send you $500. Seriously.

Don’t send money. Just clap your hands. Please, clap your hands!

Don’t send money. Just clap your hands. Please, clap your hands!

Should that be “click your heels three times”?

Buried in Bob’s massive stupid is this little gem:

“Some people hate Barack Obama merely because he is ethically half African.”

Me, I’m ethically Utilitarian and we consider the ethically African to be a splinter group. I don’t know what Obama’s other ethical half could be, Zoroastrian?

I think TIDOS is ethically absurdist.

maybe the other half is unethical (African or other) … I know mine is.

I have declared ALL facilities for Stupidity management and enrichment, and have agreed in principal to a set of non-treaty “Additional Protocols of the Elders of Stuff” including video monitoring and intrusive inspections of all facilities and mosh pits.

I’m curious- doesn’t video monitoring of stupidity enrichment require at least basic cable service? I mean, the regular broadcast channels are pretty stupid on their own, but they lack Fox News, ESPN, the Bloomberg channel, Spike TV, and real-time coverage of the US Congress and my city’s planning commission and zoning board.

Is it necessary to pay for the premium sports package to effectively monitor the highest concentrations of stupid, for example the Golf Channel?

What about audio monitoring of weapons-grade stupidity? Does listening to morning drive-time radio require any protective gear?

Nihilist? Yeah, I bet that’s it. Damn Nihilists, say what you will about the ethically African, at least it’s an ethos.

This Donofrio character, the one whose case just got denied, has a blog, in case you were wondering. He’s quite happy with Scalia’s decision, as are the majority of his AIP-style commenters. Commenter “Sane Person,” however, doesn’t believe in fairies.

Don’t send money. Just clap your hands. Please, clap your hands!

NO! NO! DON’T LISTEN TO HIM! SEND THE MONEY!!!

Put the conspiracy theorists out of business, Mr. Obama.

Uh, so, uh, who’s that again?

For what it’s worth…

“Vault copy” is most likely asshole pizazz speak for “original”. It’s the one with the actual embossing on it. Back in the day, valuables and important/irreplaceable documents were kept in small, personal bank vaults. I believe such ‘safe deposit boxes’ are still available today, but to a much smaller degree, as home safes and digitalization of documents have risen in popularity.

In short, CletusYankee is trying to sound smarter then he is.

Rear Admiral Fececonometric Fancies’s Stretched Curd Cheeses Pancakes

Ingredients:
1 bunch gigantic yellow bass, charred
5 pounds essential stretched curd cheeses
1 light cream
7 bunches young pilot whale thorax
5 jars jasmine
3 bags flour

Sacrifice a nearby California condor or a creature of similar size. Discard remains with care. Cream the yellow bass with a really big thingamajig. Use a food processor to combine the light cream with the stretched curd cheeses. Stuff the resulting concoction into the yellow bass. Find some spumante and drink it. Chill the pilot whale thorax, jasmine, and the flour lopsidedly. Dab the latter combination on to the former. Bake for 40 minutes. Serves 9 individuals with astute stomachs.

“Vault copy” reminds me of “womb baby” for some creepy reason.

Key unanswered question: Does mikey buy his yellowcake stupid from Niger?

I keep debating whether to tell the local wingnut blogger that the more he rants about crazy stuff, the more he guarantees a second term for Obama and at least one term for whatever Democrat follows him… or just to let him keep ranting in blissful, enraged, delusional ignorance.

I keep debating whether to tell the local wingnut blogger that the more he rants about crazy stuff, the more he guarantees a second term for Obama and at least one term for whatever Democrat follows him… or just to let him keep ranting in blissful, enraged, delusional ignorance.

Chances are, whatever you do, he’ll keep ranting and shrieking about crazy shit. So your choice is really just whether you want his attention to be turned to you, for whatever brief period.

the local wingnut blogger

Do you have a local internet there? I thought no one was local in the new global economy.

In the New Whirled Ordure everyone is local. I know this because you are all right here in my PC. Right on the other side of the monitor. I can see you moving around back there.

What?

Sorry. Let me put something on.

I think TIDOS is ethically absurdist.

That brings to mind…
The Camiroi are experts of defamation, but they have developed a shorthand system to save time. They have their decalogue of slander, and the numbers refer to this. In its accepted version it runs as follows:

My opponent (1) is personally moronic. (2) is sexually incompetent. (3) flubs third points in Chuki game. (4) eats Mu seeds before the time of the summer solstice. (5) is physically pathetic. (7) is finanically stupid. (8) is ethically weird. (9) is intellectually contemptible. (10) is morally dishonest.

Try it on your friends or your enemies! It works wonderfully. We recommend the listing and use to Earth politicians, except for numbers three and four, which seem to have no meaning in Earth context.

I *have* a “vault copy” of my birth certificate. I had to get it in when I moved to the Netherlands, I also have a really crappy Xerox copy from about 1980, but it’s equally valid back because it has the embossed seal and the registrar’s signature. Both should be valid. I’m *really* glad I have them, because the state of California, where I was born, would now require me to get a copy in person.

I’m looking at it now. Funny I never noticed the kerning before.

Uh-oh. I don’t exist! Oh, shi–

NO CARRIER

“also he’s not even a natural born ctizen but also he pals around with domestic terrorists; also this is a page right out of karl alinskiengles playbook manifesto because he also doesnt like america like you and i do also.”

Translated into Palinese.

So this dump closes down early these days.

Hmmpfft.

M. Bouffant said,

December 9, 2008 at 13:07

So this dump closes down early these days.

Hmmpfft.
=======================================================
Blame the blue laws.

When you get too crazy for David Horowitz, it’s time to take a look in the mirror. Actually, I’d like to think that Obama is letting this thing stay alive so he can point to these knuckleheads as mainstream conservative Republicans.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677/#28119644

M. Bouffant: Even as I typed the words “interpretive dancers” I cringed, thinking, oh no that makes it sound blow-y. It wasn’t, it was really quite cool I thought.

When you get too crazy for David Horowitz, it’s time to take a look in the mirror. Actually, I’d like to think that Obama is letting this thing stay alive so he can point to these knuckleheads as mainstream conservative Republicans.

You know, my personal schaedenfreudey take on it is this: this shit means that as of Inauguration Day, the lunatic conspiracy theorists are no longer going to be primarily clogging up the ideological left.

Hell, they’ve even got it worse now. The Truthers never openly courted the idea of murdering the President. They were an annoyance; the Ku Klux Kerners are vicious savages who nobody in their right mind can – or will – sympathize with.

They’ve gone from just batshit insane to ALL CAPS GENUINE IMPORTED FINEST GUANO MONEY CAN BUY FLIBBERTY-FLOO BATSHIT INSANE in annoying flashing ANSI font.

My guess is that the lack of a significant national power-base has created a situation where, when someone starts whooping about the New Deal being a black nationalist plot to elect Saddam Hussein president of White America, there is no longer a faction in the spotlight and with millions of dollars to throw around calling that extreme but a thoughtful point.

The hilarious and sad thing is that whooping is all the Republicans know how to do, so 2012 is going to be basically a Goldwaterian trouncing – a popular President facing a right-wing movement which believes what America wants is absolute fealty to an Aryan superwoman who thinks Mexicans are black people wearing makeup. It’ll be a hilarious romp every step of the way.

Spartacus said,

“also he’s not even a natural born ctizen but also he pals around with domestic terrorists; also this is a page right out of karl alinskiengles playbook manifesto because he also doesnt like america like you and i do also.” Translated into Palinese.

Extra-bonus Palinese translation:

“also he’s not even you know one of those natural born ctizens there, but also, in the sky over my house, he pals around with you know, those domestic terrorists; and so also, you know, it’s like Joe the Plumber said, you know, this is a page right out of that karl alinskiengles playbook manifesto thing there, because he also doesn’t like america like you and i and those hard-working Joe Sixpack folks in the Real America and you and I do, also. Charlie.”

Bored and waiting for everyone to wake up! Wake up, America!

MzNicky:

You forgot mavericky. There have to be lots of ‘mavericky’s.

You forgot mavericky. There have to be lots of ‘mavericky’s, donchaknow. *wink*

Fized.

I had this dream where I was Obama’s original birth certificate and after running from all these liberal fascist security guys in blue jumpsuits, I escaped the Vault. When I emerged into Washington DC, it was a total wasteland, there were destroyed buildings everywhere. This is the result of letting the atheistic-islamofascist Fairness-Doctrine-worshipping most-liberalest-Marxist-socialestest elitist-thug who-pals-around-with-terrorists into the Oval office.

The ‘birthers’ are out in force again today. That’s some vault copy crazy sh*t right there, baby.

Well we’re bound to see some insanity here, I mean come on, the GOP has decided it needs to “redefine” itself? “Palin bonerfest” is just going to be the sideshow methinks.

Oh, BTW, I’ve been keeping a tally. Pamela/Atlas is up to 49 birth certificate posts.

And even more vault copy crazy</a:

It will also indicate that years before he was even born, Obama was already a leader of the so-called ‘Mau-Mau’ resistance.

Consider what Bobo Wens is saying. That there exists a type of deranged nutjob who after denying a scan of Obama’s copy of his birth certificate, Hawaiian State officials declarations, third-party confirmation of the existence of said certificate and a FUCKING BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT FROM 1961 IN A HONOLULU LOCAL PAPER, that somehow this Vault Copy will make them change their minds and ABANDON THEIR ASSASSINATION PLOTS.

Then again, Bobo Wens has much better insight into batshit crazy than anyone else I can think of at the moment – so maybe he’s right.

Even more vault copy crazy, from the same (unclosed) link (sorry) as above:

The trio then went silent while a fourth participant, a minister, delivered a prayer that justice would be done to the usurper. The pastor then advised his fellow African Americans not to be fooled into thinking “that which has come from the womb of this white woman is now your redeemer.”

Speaking of Atlas’ Juggs, now she’s mad that MIT would dare teach about Islamic Finance practices to their business students. Because, like, who the f*** would ever want to know how to like, deal financially in Saudi Arabia or Dubai and/or UAE, or any of them damn Muslim countries? I mean, what, do U.S. companies ever do business there? I mean, aside from the current President’s family and his father’s former Secretary of State and our current Vice President and whatnot.

Well, if the released “non-vault copy” birth certificate is a forgery, and the Hawaiaiin state officials are in on it (why? how? any evidence?) why do these wingtards think any other document produced will not be a forgery? And Obama was born in Kenya and adopted in in Indonesia. Are they sure he wasn’t Born in Arizona, Moved to Babylonia? Had coffee with a donkey, he’s his favorite honkey, got a condo made of stone-a, Obama-tut !!!

I say don’t fight stupid, exploit it.

These idiots will happily spend 6 figures on an “authentic” B H Obama Kenyan birth certificate, so why not sell them what they want?

I’m just amused at the fact that they’re slagging each other about who’s “more conservative” and what “conservative” actually means. I think we should encourage as much of this as possible.

Ted the Slacker has a point. We need the equal of African Press International to be created, you know, something like Vault Copy Review LLC, and offer to retrieve the ‘vault copy’ of Obama’s birth certificate, which is stored in that Indiana Jones warehouse next to the Holy Grown and 3 rows down from the Roswell UFO, for a mere fee of $10 million, cash.

Wait – I refuse to accept the authority of Antonin Scalia until he demonstrates that he is the same man that Ronald Reagan nominated to be a Supreme Court Justice. And the only proof I consider acceptable is the words of St. Ronnie himself – so until they disinter the Great Communicator and have a Voudun priest greatly communicate with it – this Scalia is a total forgery.

Look, I hate to say it, but TIDOS Yankee is right. There are some reasonable persons, all of them (including Pam Atlas) PUMAs who have carefully looked at the evidence and come to the logical conclusion that a) Obama was secretly born in Kenya b) Or he might not have and been born in Hawaii, but he went to Indonesia and at that point became not natural born through a process of immigration law known as “wishful thinking” c) or maybe not, but clearly since he inherited British citizenship from his father this is absolutely contrary to the natural born clause in the constitution, despite a lack of precedent in their favour, d) which would mean everything Obama did as president if he wasn’t vetted properly (and he isn’t because these same reasonable people still are asking questions) would be null and void, e) which brings us to Chester A. Arthur who hid his father’s British citizenship, which wouldn’t actually set a precedent, since well, he lied about it, f) but since he was an usurper we can claim that [s]ince Arthur nominated Justice Gray who was a proponent of Wong Kim Ark, nullifies any possible precedent set from that case/decision g) which brings us to the wholly reasonable conclusion that there exists a massive conspiracy (from the birth of one Barry Sotereo in, ahhh, Kenya/Hawaii/The Soviet Union?) to perpetuate this fraud on the American people, of which willing participants include the SoS of all fifty states in the Union, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, the RNC, the Supreme Court, Congress, George Bush, the Media and Fox News. h) Occam’s Razor suggests that the most likely explanation is that Obama must have secretly worked for the CIA and most likely tried to assassinate Mugabe in the 1980s and now he has some dark secret over everyone with power in the US that has enabled him to steal both the Primary and the Election… OMG Acorn is a CIA front group…

Clearly, all these rational people just want a simple birth certificate, or to know what hospital he was really born at, or, umm, Obama to prove a negative, and would just go away and accept his presidency as legitimate if he would just not treat them as a bunch of crackpots and jump through the hoops they deem as legitimate.

> The ‘birthers’ are out in force again today. That’s some vault copy crazy sh*t right there, baby.

This is HILARIOUS. From the Canada “Free Press” link El Cid gave above:

“On his To The Point News website, Jack Wheeler has divulged that he knows “the true story” about Obama’s birth situation, and it is “wild,” but he – and the contact person who also runs a major news site and told him the facts – are apparently not yet prepared to reveal this shocker to the public.”

PAGING CHIEF EDITOR KORIR!

Consider the implications…

This is from the ultra-left-wing Newsbusters site, which is totally not conservative at all:

John McCain’s birth certificate has been posted on the internet! And, it says that John McCain was NOT born in the Panama Canal Zone; the US military base at Coco Solo; or the Military hospital at Coco Solo (which did not even exist yet) and he was NOT born on US Soil! He was born in Colon, Republic of Panama, which is OUTSIDE the former US controlled Canal Zone and is, unquestionably, sovereign Panamanian territory; and he, therefore, cannot be a Natural Born US Citizen and fails to qualify for the office of President under Article II of the US Constitution that requires Natural Born Citizenship.

(note: Crazy bolding of random phrases not copied. D-KW)

Thus, the real “next Preznit” is the candidate who is actually a natural-born US citizen, and got the most votes: Ralph Nader.

> These idiots will happily spend 6 figures on an “authentic” B H Obama Kenyan birth certificate, so why not sell them what they want?

Methinks a really clever Nigerian would start a new 419 spam campaign based on this.

If I lived in Indonesia or Kenya I would suspect one could make a small fortune selling Barack Obama birth certificates or proof of Muslimness documents. These same people who study the COLB with photoshop for days on end (and keep their identities secret, lest Obama’s secret assassination squad target them) are more than willing to unquestioningly accept any document that verifies or contributes to their wild theories, even if they are mutually contradictory.

Re mavericky, dontcha know, wink:

I sit corrected.

Once again: WTF is up with wingtards in Canada? WTF do they care about Barry X’s birth certificate? They don’t have enough douchebaggery up there to worry about?

I plead for an explanation.

Methinks a really clever Nigerian would start a new 419 spam campaign based on this.

Actually, just doing some market research here, but should I pretend to be a Nigerian when I start hawking “vault copy” Obama ID? You reckon they’ll bite if they realize I’m not Nigerian?

Confederate in Defense of Slavery sez:

Carrying a concealed weapon hasn’t become a chore or an obsession. It is simply something I do now, like putting on my seat belt when I get in a car. I never plan on getting into a wreck, but the seat belt is always there to protect me. The M&P compact plays a similar role. Although I hope I never have to use it, I can be confident that it is there to protect me if I ever need it.

I thought nutters didn’t wear seatbelts and all lived in New Hampshire the LIVE FREE OR DIE state because of the no-seatbelt FREEEDOM

there is a lot of crazy in that piece though:

Because I was armed I felt a greater responsibility to be aware of my surroundings, noting where I was and who was around me. I wasn’t planning to kill anyone, but I was making sure that I minimized risk by being aware of what was going on.

By July, I was carrying the M&P almost exclusively. I’m more familiar with semi-autos and tend to shoot them better as a function of having more experience with that kind of firearm. It also wasn’t prohibitively heavier than the 637CT, held more than twice the ammunition, and could be reloaded far more quickly. Granted, the ammunition capacity issue isn’t a factor in most real-world shooting situations — criminals aren’t special forces soldiers and tend to break off their attacks at the first sign of lethal force — but knowing you have additional ammunition on hand if needed is comforting.

Is there a death-pool on which right wing blogger will be the first to go columbine? I pick Bob.

Also, please note Bobo’s reasoning – right there in the title of the post:
Obama Should Respect the Secret Service Enough…

That’s right, forget about the will of the people, about actual elections, all that shizznit. Forget about Iraq, the financial crisis, health care, foreign policy, energy independence, all of that. What the President should actually be doing is acting in the best interests of his bodyguards.

I am totally looking forward to Bobo’s post talking about repealing the second amendment since that would make it easier fot the Secret Service agents guarding the President.

Also, I agree with Lex (P) Az: Palin’s boner appeal will be much diminished four years hence, and besides which by then she will have joined Katherine Harris and others in the pit of political Hell known as Once-Useful-Now-Discarded Rethug FemBots.

> Is there a death-pool on which right wing blogger will be the first to go columbine? I pick Bob.

Just tell them all that there’ll be a shootout at the Wingnut Corral to see who gets the One Verified Authenticated Genuine Most-Vaulted Copy of the Holy Birth Certificate. That will help thin out the ranks of Teh Stoopid.

Until Sarah Palin releses the vault copy of her original eyelashes, that wink is so totally a forgery.

Until it has been conclusively proven that no performance enhancing Cialis or vacuum pumping was used, that boner is fake.

Until someone (and by someone I mean J. Random Self-Proclaimed Expert that I have personally selected) has had the opportunity ot thoroughly check the kerning on the actual original Constitution – the whole “natural-born” requirement is a fake.

Until Ben Shapiro provides a notarized copy of his vault copy marriage license and proof of consummation (and a night-vision YouTube style sex video will not cut it – because there’s no way that I’m watching that shit) he’ll continue being The Virgin Ben.

Not complying with these demands is just emboldening the terrorists to go all Somalian Pirate Attack on the next NRO Cruise – so for the sakes of Law Enforcement officials world-wide… I forget where I was going with this.

MzNicky, speaking of Fembots I (badly) had to shop Mitt Romney into one, he just fit the bill so well…..

Pere, that’s so rampant at Gates of Vienna that it cannot even be untangled into sense at this point. But yes, we should encourage it at all costs.

Cletus, I think we should keep the Obama-tut thing going, dang, I miss that…time for YouTube……

Lipstick–brilliant! Let’s get that fake Kenyan nirth certifikit and sell it off! Then we could all have a Christmas after all!

Send Obama’s birth certificate on tour and charge $10. a peek. Just like Jesse James’ corpse. This “issue” (non-issue) will be the nutbag signifier for years to come. When one nutbag mumbles “dred scott” the second nutbag replies “soetrero certificate”. And then they bump asses. Bumpasses!!!

Is there a death-pool on which right wing blogger will be the first to go columbine? I pick Bob.

I’m going with Pam Atlas.

Is there a death-pool on which right wing blogger will be the first to go columbine?

I think it’s much more likely that they’ll go all Plaxico on us. Keep the sweatpants, but change nightclub to the combo KFC/Taco Bell.

I’m going with Pam Atlas.

Definately. I just hope she doesn’t make one of her little girls hold the camera.

From Bobo’s Guns R Grate! article:

…because I thought following the first rule of a gun fight was more important than not having a gun at all.

What is that first rule?

Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.

So despite having two hanguns, this is what he cites as the reason to carry one handgun he has no experience shooting…FFS what a tool.

Personally, I’d have bumped USMC Rules for Gunfighting #23 to the top slot:

Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

Or better yet, here’s D-KW’s Number One Rule for Gunfighting:
1. Don’t. Getting shot at is something to be avoided. Seriously, you have much better things to be doing with your time.

ped, oh the thought makes me cringe…..Why 49 posts on this? Why? If she hadn’t blocked me entirely I’d write her and beg her to attempt some sanity…again….

Born in a Hawaiian town
Faked my birth certificate to fool the clowns
You end up president and the ‘nuts crack up
But you spend half your life just covering up

Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

Send Obama’s birth certificate on tour and charge $10.

Don’t stop there.

Hucksters Entrepreneurs in the Middle Ages used to do good business flogging religious nicknacks – chips off the cross, pieces of Disciples’ clothes, saints’ bones, anything that some Jesus-freak would happily buy.

Wingnut welfare deserves a better home, Obama Vault Copy TM would work for me.

What’s beyond a ‘vault copy’? This is turning into a Scanner Darkly derivative. Bob&Friends are now in Substance D territory. This is even beyond weapons grade stupid. This is fractal-moebius-through-the-looking-glass-we’re-not-in-Kansas-anymore type stupid.

I’m betting on Bob wearing the Ruby slippers.

tigrismus said,

December 9, 2008 at 2:48
Don’t you have to have a birth certificate for lots of things Obama has, like a passport, for example? Therefore United States Post Office, a branch of the federal government, accepts that this man is the one and only Barack Obama.

Thank you, Fred Gailey.

What… what… what if there’s really no Obama to begin with, and this has all been a mass hallucination brought on by al-Qaeda dropping acid in the water supply?

OMFG ZOMG TEH TRUTJH IS OUT THERE !~!!21

Entrepreneurs in the Middle Ages used to do good business flogging religious nicknacks – chips off the cross, pieces of Disciples’ clothes, saints’ bones, anything that some Jesus-freak would happily buy.

While this debased era lacks the heady commitment to the free market of the Middle Ages, to this day the Catholic Church quietly accepts claims by seven churches to have the skull of Christ’s maternal grandmother. And they didn’t stop with tertiary relics, either.

We could sell Obama’s prepuces for $5000 each, complete with genuine apparition of Muhammad. Warning: may contain red lake.

OT- Zunegate!

What a world! There’s actually an article titled Zunegate, Day Two – unfortunatel not subtitled “Electric Boogaloo”.

Somewhat off-topic, but a very important image:
http://www.faithmouse.com/national_review_online_hemingway.jpg

the US military base at Coco Solo; or the Military hospital at Coco Solo

Go forth and seek until you find the Lone Coconut. There you will find the answers to all your questions.

Go forth and seek until you find the Lone Coconut.

What about the gunman on the grassy papaya??????

Is there a death-pool on which right wing blogger will be the first to go columbine? I pick Bob.

I’m going with Pam Atlas.

She whipped out a pair of 44s. I wasn’t scared. Then she pulled out her gun. I was scared.

Actually, I got money on RedState’s own Erick Erickson.

“I think it’s much more likely that they’ll go all Plaxico on us. Keep the sweatpants, but change nightclub to the combo KFC/Taco Bell.”

Respectfully, you give the morans too much credit.

Obama: FINE. Whatever. Here, here’s the ‘vault copy’.

Kerners: OMG, see, we knew it was FAKE FAKE FAKEFAKEFAKE AAAAIIIIEEEE!!!!

And that’s the issue.
No matter what gets “released,” no matter how many Hawaii state officials say it’s really, really authentic, there will be several 30,000-word essays posted online conclusively “proving” how it’s a fake. Any document given to the Kerning Kommandos will simply raise more questions than it answers. Because they’re keyboards are macroed with that.

They are not reasonable people. No proof will ever satisfy them. So – fuck em. May as well ignore em.

Supposeably from Kenya,
Moved to Indonesia;
Obama Tut!
Now when I blog you may think I’m a nut,
All I want is proof of natural born Obama Tut.
Blogging nut,
At Bill Ayers’ he had some coffee,
Obama Tut,
He’s hiding his vault copy!

Supposeably from Kenya,
Moved to Indonesia;
Obama Tut!
When I see Palin, my gun gets fully erect;
I don’t get so excited when I see the messiah-elect,
Blogging putz,
Check the kerning on that jay-peg,
Obama Tut,
On the web I will every day beg!

Supposeably from Kenya,
Moved to Indonesia;
When assassins come to get me, I say Abyssinia,
Obama Tut!

Okay, maybe vault copy refers to something from Obama’s military service. You know, when he was in Indonesia at that madrasa where the Indonesian Department of Education requires all young boys and men to do rudimentary jihadist military training. See, when they’re out on the parade ground, vault copy is what the recruits/students do following their drill instructor’s lead. The drill instructor does a vault-face, and they copy him. If Obama reveals it, if he shows his vault copy, it will be irrefutable proof he’s a militant Muslim from Indonesia.

When assassins come to get me, I say Abyssinia

OOOOOH, where do you want me to put this Internets you just won?

When assassins come to get me, I say Abyssinia

I kneel before you, sir.

Or, the Repubs — usually meaning Palin — have been “briefed”. Their beloved Sarah knows the whole truth and she is quietly waiting in the wings to step forward when the time is right. All will be revealed.

Palin has been briefed? All will be revealed? Hmmm …

Thanks for this thread, guys and gals. I haven’t laughed this hard in a LONG time.

Not to tell Mikey his business…I don’t think that the wingnuts can handle weapons-grade stupid. They can barely deal with kitchen table stupid without their sloped crania detonating.
They cannot be trusted with fertilizer and gasoline. Don’t let them anywhere near Cheney-provided yellow cake from Amsterdam (or is it from Beirut?)

Palin has been briefed?

Please do not use the words “Palin” and “brief” in the same sentence. This acts to bring up certain associations of which there is not enough Boraxo to scrub from the brain.

I kneel before you, sir.

Likewise. That was a masterwork.

My brother made up a poem about King Tut. It went like this:

King Tut / had a butt / ’til someone cut it off.

Of course, he was six years old, so not a bad effort, considering.

When assassins come to get me, I say Abyssinia

Syriassly, this is the best you got?

Others may Balinese before you, but this is so cheap, it feels like Egypt me.

Others may Balinese before you, but this is so cheap, it feels like Egypt me.

Ooh, I can’t wait ’til actor212 Suez for fraud.

Kenya quit with the puns already?

Really, I congo on all day.

Arab and arab, but I can’t get the image of Palin’s briefs out of my mind.

I can’t get the image of Palin’s briefs out of my mind.

Djarkarta round with you, huh?

It’s an Axum of conservative thought that whatever they want to be true is true.

“Djarkarta round with you, huh?”

It mecca me crazy.

Why do you people have to be so Dogon corny?

Djarkarta round with you, huh?

After a binge like that, the cure is Sahara the dog that bit you.

It’s an Axum of conservative thought that whatever they want to be true is true.

This cannot be Memphisized too strongly.

Not that it needs saying, but Newsbusters is painfully stupid. Anyone born to two US citizens is a “natural born citizen”, regardless of where they were born.

And as a bonus, per Wikipedia:

“Despite widespread popular belief, U.S. military installations abroad and U.S. diplomatic or consular facilities are not part of the United States within the meaning of the 14th Amendment. A child born on the premises of such a facility is not subject to the jurisdiction of the United States and does not acquire U.S. citizenship by reason of birth.”

This cannot be Memphisized too strongly.

But Hutu?

I think WordPress hates me. It’s been eating all my posts lately. And Firefox won’t regurgitate them.

Please, guys. All this mafficking around is getting crass.

One more pun, I’m Ghana laugh my ass off.

Hey, somali joking around.

somali joking around.

I don’t Sphinx so!

I call it Africa nature.

You remind me of a Songhai got stuck in my head.

Was it by the Beach Boys? I bet it was a Khartoum.

“You remind me of a Songhai got stuck in my head.”

Rabat you say that to all the girls.

That Songhai got in my head, anyone know what the Tunis?

Abidjan ever thought a Kenyandonesian would be President.

That Songhai got in my head, anyone know what the Tunis?

It’s a Buenos Aires, I’m sure.

Y’know, with that Muslim guy, Damascus a dead giveaway.

This cannot be Memphisized too strongly.

There is none so blind as those who Tennessee.

There is none so blind as those who Tennessee.

That’s sarong Memphis!

That’s sarong Memphis!

Sorry. I’m getting older and my vision is going as I’m Aegean.

Lots of people have innies but mine Saudi

We’re only making plans for Niger.
(/XTC)

We’re only making plans for Niger

Heh. India.

Pamela/Atlas is up to 49 birth certificate posts.

49 is lots of crying.

MzNicky said,
“Once again: WTF is up with wingtards in Canada?”

Harper is doing for Canada what Bush did for us.

* Ulp.

I was so hoping for a Plaxico Burress ending, Gavin.

Heh. India.

Riyadh the whole thing!

Addis ababa!

Riyadh the whole thing!

That’s Benin the back of my mind the whole time, but it’s a Meroë to distract from the important issues with a Wolof noise.

Say, that was Kleber, El Cid!

Pamela/Atlas is up to 49 birth certificate posts.

I’d really like to think at along about Jan. 15th Crazy Pammy’s site is going to be nothing but birth certificate posts, each (somehow, how croggles the mind) more wingnutty than the last.

This makes me think of Limbaugh back during the Clinton impeachment hearings. Ken Starr was due to give his testimony, and the Pigman was bloviating about how Starr was going to reveal *T*H*E* *T*R*U*T*H* that would finish Clinton once and for all.

Of course he didn’t say anything the first day of testimony, so Pigman just decided that tomorrow would be TEH BIG DAI and all would be revealed. This all reminds me greatly of that wingnuttus interrruptus I witnessed back then – only so much more entertaining.

Pere, so it’s going to be Chief Korir all over again?

Say, that was Kleber, El Cid!

I like to Sokoto ’em once I get on Arol, but all you have to do is put your will to it Onitsha’ll be done.

CY keeps finding different angles to write about a potential Obama assassination. He has an unhealthy interest in the subject. He is also obsessed with buying guns. Just sayin’.

Kennai compliment you again? That was truly a Delft play on words.

But soft, was that a Sudan impact on your part?

I don’t know what the big deal is; that song parody really made my want to shake Djibouti.

Today’s the big day for me….THE DARK KNIGHT!!!!

There have to be lots of ‘mavericky’s.
That’s one of those Polish names, pronounced ‘Maveritsky’, right?

That certificate of live birth is NOT SUFFICIENT! So what that if it’s wrong that means the state of Hawaii Health Department deliberately provided a fraudulent document to the federal government? I will still totally believe in a vault copy of the birth certificate provided by the same entity because . . . . well, there isn’t enough kerning on the certificate of live birth for analysis to give me scope to analyze it, and, and they’d never DARE fake a photocopy of a birth certificate even if they do dare to fake the information on a certificate of live birth.

Unless the birth certificate says Obama was born in Honolulu. Then I’ll KNOW it’s a fake.

“It’s simply the right thing to do.”

Ew. That was a perfectly good phrase! Now it’s got a TDOS Wankee splooge stain on it.

That was a perfectly good phrase! Now it’s got a TDOS Wankee splooge stain on it.

If you remove the “simply”, it’s still usable and unsplooged.

Though I’ll admit bias – the word “simply” is on my shit list after years of reading libertarian crap online in which they appeal to the consumer’s ability to “simply choose” thus and so.

“It’s simply the right thing to do.”

Ew. That was a perfectly good phrase! Now it’s got a TDOS Wankee splooge stain on it.

If only he had used ‘wise’ I coulda implied he aimed to fuck an owl.

From the “Ulp” link:

I was interested in finding out what it felt like to carry a gun

That’s some valut copy psychology right there.

I couldn’t help but recall from E.M. Forster’s Maurice that, while attempting to “treat” Maurice for homosexuality, the hypnotist/psychologist encouraged him to think of pretty women and carry around a gun.

What’s the root of this “controversy” anyway?

Their side lost the election.

Their side lost the election.

That is the Thing, and the whole of the Thing. What we’re seeing is just the cognitive dissonance playing out – conservatives cannot lose, therefore one or more of the following:
– Obama didn’t win,
– Obama is secretly a conservative.
– McCain isn’t a conservative,

I think the first two of those account for the better part of current wingnutitude. The third, not so much, because McCain isn’t all that interesting.

The third, not so much, because McCain isn’t all that interesting.

I think you also have to take into account that he outlasted that trope once already in the primaries. It’s hard to put back out what you’ve already taken back in.

You heard it just after the election from some quarters, but it died a quick rebirth-death.

You heard it just after the election from some quarters, but it died a quick rebirth-death.

You’re right. I had forgotten about it, being too busy laughing at all the other stuff.