An Open Smile On A Friendly Shore
leave
They are begging for money again at America’s Shittiest Website™ and it appears to have caused a bit of an uprising among their target audience of call-center employees, gun collectors, survivalists, and under-medicated paranoid schizophrenics. A number of potential contributors this year have objected strenuously to sending any more of their monthly disability payments to K-Lo, the Pantload, and those other exemplars of erudition over at National Review just to be wasted on cruise ship cocktails and shore-leave tequila bashes.
But K-Lo is not going down without a fight:
I’m getting a number of e-mails from people who complain that we have some nerve asking for money after spending [sic] on a cruise last week. I totally understand how that looks bad.
But the RNC paid for the cruise and we’re like totally not keeping it, and we are going to take it back to the store. Tomorrow. So send us your money!
But here’s what you need to know: The reason we do these cruises is they bring in money. It’s another fundraiser. And rather than tanning in the Bahamas, we do work — panels, interviews, dinner, lunch, and other discussions.
No one is allowed to leave the boat. Ever. And K-Lo only left her minuscule cabin to feed on a few meager crumbs from the boat’s paltry buffet and to hear the late-night comedy stylings of Mark “The Mooslims Are Coming!” Steyn.
I tell you that not to whine — its a nice thing to work with a little sun in the cabin window vs. the usual Lexington Avenue noise.
[Cue “Tomorrow” . . . ♫♫The sun’ll come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sun!♫♫]
Just to illustrate K-Lo’s point, here’s a picture of The Doughy Pantload working his ass off next to an ambiguously gendered fan.
Here’s another Pantload pic, again with the same boy-girl fan, who I bet looks totally hot naked.
And what K-Lo post would be complete without one of her trademark drive-by shootings of the English language?
And like I said in my pitch today, National Review in all its forms has always and I suspect will always, rely [sic] on readers. Thank you again.
No, K-Lo, thank you. I’m almost tempted to send a contribution. Do you take credit-default swaps by any chance?
Maybe they were out cruising for the next disastrous pick to put on a Republican ticket. In which case those emailers are right – not the best use of resources. That’s how Kristol found Palin, after all.
Personally, I’d rather donate to Sadlynaut Marketing And Research of Technologies for Aerospace Science and Snark, and its bold vision of launching the entire crew of NRO into space.
With contributions from viewers like you, we could proudly let K-Lo live out her dream to be the first person to set foot on the Sun.
Ahh, another humorous NR cruise I’ve missed. Shame on me, I have promised myself that I would catch one at some point. I’m just broke…oops.
NRO on a Caribbean cruise, working for the Yankee dollar.
She only cooperates for Mitt.
I truly do not understand why they allow that woman near a keyboard. Or fat crayons and cut up grocery bags for that matter. I mean, I understand that if you threw a few ‘thoughs’ and ‘alsos’ in there and you couldn’t tell her prattling from Gov. Palin’s, but “Give us money so we can go on another cruise to make more money,” is a rather sucky sales pitch.
Why is there a [sic] after rely in the last quote?
She’s a complete retard, but as Arky pointed out I’m pretty sure “rely” is fine the way it is.
I am just going to quote them directly, changing ONE noun to “The National Review”.
an ambiguously gendered fan
Didn’t we just see this beast the other day protecting its squash patch?
This is totally not apocryphal:
“Last Thursday while cruising the Caribbean Sea, I passed what appeared to be a homeless man standing on the beaches between Nashua and Freeport holding a hand-made sign that read, “Vote Republican, They ain’t no redistributionists, you moran.”, I laughed to myself and admired the man for his misplaced, albeit blatant honesty.
Once at the party for like-minded conservatives, I noticed that my host was wearing a truly awful Hawaiian shirt; again I laughed to myself as he boldly and proudly advertised his political preference for all the world, and his customers, to see — just imagine the odds of encountering two such 1st Amendment harbingers of right-thinking in less than 10-minutes.
When the host finally came around with the donation plate, I decided not to add anything and explained to him that I was going to implement a practical application of Supply-side piss down economics as my own personal dickheaded experiment. He stood there in stoic disbelief as I explained to him that I was going to piss his rightfully earned $1000 donation to someone who I deemed would beg more pathetically and thus would entertain me more…the homeless fellow I saw earlier, or indeed any old bum because they all look the same to me. The host stammered a few “Why practice on me? I’m the Jew of Liberal Fascism!” retorts and then angrily stormed away from the table in a steaming huff of self-righteous indignation.
Apparently, after experiencing firsthand the application of a thoroughly discredited economic theory from the perspective of the newly inherited wealth class, my conservative thinker and pop-culture referencing host was quickly convinced that piss down theory was much easier to support as an asshole holder of vast sums of wealth than when his own wingnut welfare was about to be redistributed, against his will, to another I deemed more amusing in his squalor.
I went outside, walked the beach, gave the homeless guy a kick in the ass, and asked him to walk down to the cruise ship and thank the doughiest person there who was drinking something pink in a brandy snifter as I’ve decided the bum was more fun to kick than the host who had actually stopped being useful and fun years ago.”
It’s a botched parallel construction. “Rely” doesn’t agree with “has always.” And she’s missing a comma to signify the parallel construction. It should have been: “National Review in all its forms has always relied, and I suspect will always rely, on readers.”
The quote I use above is from Thomas Sowell’s piece on bailouts titled .Its Priceless.
>And she’s missing a comma to signify the parallel construction.
You obviously must be a union worker. We in the Information Services Industry, like K-Lo and J-Go, find your obsession with “construction” quaint–and inherently Anti-American.
Clif doesn’t get the new economy.
“Rely” doesn’t agree with “has always.” And she’s missing a comma to signify the parallel construction.
Hey, if you go to the original text it’s been changed to include a comma. Imagine that.
No, what am I saying? I’m sure that comma has always been there. I mean, I’m sure these guys wouldn’t sweep their errors under a rug and pretend it had been that way all along. Nope. Above-board, that’s the Corner.
To give the wingnut her due, the missing one that I was complaining about was the one before the parallel clause, not the one after, which has been there since the beginning.
What Clif said, except forcefully and with more pedantry.
Hmm, that could be read as a dig at Clif, when really I was making fun of my own grammarian tendencies.
I like the word “blegging”.
It adds a certain lack of nobility to the enterprise.
Huh.
Just a few minutes ago, CNN.com had this provocative “breaking news”:
AP: Al Qaeda No. 2 Ayman al-Zawahiri is criticizing Barack Obama in a new message, calling him a demeaning racial term.
Now it’s been replaced with:
AP: Housing starts fall by 4.5 percent in October to lowest level on government records dating to 1959.
I wonder what I should conclude from this.
K-Lo’s bottom dollar has shown no evidence of deflating, even in this trying economy.
Didn’t we just see this beast the other day protecting its squash patch?
Oh my sainted aunt. You are a wicked, wicked person.
I am trying to imagine what it’s like to seek out the NRO crew for wisdom, and to want to go on a cruise with them.
(trying)
Nope, can’t do it. I mean, I like Rachael Maddow and Stephanie Miller and Krugman, etc., but I wouldn’t spend money to go on a vacation with them. It seems a bit too creepy-fanboyish for me. And then to think that some folks would willing pay to cruise with K-Lo and the Pantload, etc. (shivers up spine)
Is that person the Pantload’s significant other? He, she, or it is in BOTH photos…
I am trying to imagine what it’s like to seek out the NRO crew for wisdom, and to want to go on a cruise with them.
For one example, go here and follow the link.
Damn, there’s a lot of misplaced anger on the right. When the tree was full and the bloom was on the rose, these readers would send boatloads…OK, dinghyloads of their hard earned money.
Why? Because they honestly believed that NRO et al had some magic conduit to creating policy.
Being the uber con artists they are, K-Lo et al gladly took the money and spent it on whatever. It doesn’t matter if it was legit or not, they used it.
Now the unterbrains have figured out that “money=\= power and access”. Now they realized that the NRO was just one pathetic little mouse in the elephant fight that is DC fundraising, and they’re mad about it. They probably thought “If I give just one more dollar, work one more table at IHOP, McCain will win and that nice Sarah Palin will declare open season on liberals,” only to find out that, guess what?
We don’t matter!
Is that person the Pantload’s significant other? He, she, or it is in BOTH photos…
The proper name is “Pat”.
She’s a complete retard, but as Arky pointed out I’m pretty sure “rely” is fine the way it is.
It, is. It’s, the, commas, that, are, mis, placed.
If this ship ever sinks, perhaps K-LO and Pantload will make it to the only life boat and end up stranded on a tropical island, making a new life for themselves, a la The Blue Lagoon.
Didn’t we just see this beast the other day protecting its squash patch?
It was squatting.
It is the Squashsquat.
Is that person the Pantload’s significant other? He, she, or it is in BOTH photos…
Jonah is budding.
never get out of the boat. absolutely goddamn right. unless you were goin’ all the way.
If this ship ever sinks, perhaps K-LO and Pantload will make it to the only life boat and end up stranded on a tropical island, making a new life for themselves, a la The Blue Lagoon.
More like Glug-again’s Island
Jonah is budding.
They cloned Tim Russert using frog DNA to fill in the base pairs.
Oh no! It’s Whoreassic Park!
Please forgive me, I seem to finally be in a manic state and I’m out of Ritalin.
If this ship ever sinks, perhaps K-LO and Pantload will
make it tobe the only life boat and end up stranded on a tropical island, making a new life for themselves, a la The Blue Lagoon.Fixed.
Wow. “Dinner” and “lunch” are now considered “work?”
Well, looking at K. Lo, I can see how that would be true…
K-Lo, when writing about the issues of the day, has a knack for making the sentences that she writes for the National Review, in both its print and online forms, perhaps especially its online form, considering how loosely that material is edited, though this is not necessarily limited to just the National Review, needlessly long, which is to say, she could really stand to lose about half of the clauses she puts into sentences, which I suspect she does as a crutch to hide pedestrian writing in general.
Also, the National Review last turned a profit 14 years ago. That was the only time it has turned a profit.
Yes. yes, the tan could use some work, but I suggest you keep your shirt on, Jonah.
WOW. That person isn’t drinking the Koolaid, she’s snorting it in powder form by the pound! I think we have a new Wingnut of the Week candidate there.
Nope. The misplaced/missing commas are secondary. It’s faulty parallelism — it needs the word “relied” to complete the present-perfect half of the compound verb. This:
And like I said in my pitch today, National Review in all its forms has always and I suspect will always, rely [sic] on readers.
should be this:
And like I said in my pitch today, National Review in all its forms has always relied, and I suspect will always rely, on readers.
But it’s still a bad sentence. In a stupid article. Written by an idiot.
Does anyone know if Chief Editor Korir is planning any fundraising cruises?
“National Review in all its forms has always relied, and I suspect will always rely, on readers.”
==================
Even corrected, it’s wrong. National Review clearly relies on non-readers, and always will. Readers know better. Even kids who are still sounding out “The doggy ate grass so he could puke on the Na Shun Al Ree Vu” know better.
“If this ship ever sinks, perhaps K-LO and Pantload will make it to the only life boat and end up stranded on a tropical island, making a new life for themselves, a la The Blue Lagoon.”
But wouldn’t that require at least one of them to be *gulp* topless at some point?
Oh dear.
Wow. I started to write up an explanation of that sentence, and had to stop when I hit 2 pages and needed a diagram.
I’ll try to post the full explanation at my blog later this evening, but here’s the short answer:
K-Lo has tried to combine the verb from the main clause with a verb from a subordinate clause. The independent clause is
National Review has always relied on readers
The subordinate clause is
(I suspect) that it will always rely on readers
There’s also a tense shift in there, where she’s trying to use the same verb part (rely) for both a present perfect and a simple future verb at the same time.
Best revision would be:
National Review has always relied on its readers, and I suspect it always will.
This is also correct, but it’s a little clunky to me:
National Review has always relied–and I suspect will always rely– on its readers.
I don’t know if I can actually express the levels of fail involved here, but it’s truly stunning.
Stun.
Ning.
I’m so dyslexic that at first I thought that hed read “An Open Sore on a Friendly Smile.”
it’s still a bad sentence. In a stupid article. Written by an idiot.
Signifying nothing.
I.F.P.
I think you can make the case that the immediate precedent “will always” is the condition that determines which form of “rely” she should use.
To be strictly proper, tho, Dorothy nailed it.
In common usage, tho, K-Lo is perfectly acceptable. If you drop the subclause “I suspect”, it sounds OK to my untrained ear. The “relied” is implied.
the fact is, all of you liberal haters cannot divide us by spreading your classwar envy, conservatives working hard to fight for freedom and USA pride deserve to network in enviting enviroments, and they ARE working, not goofing off like liberals always do.
Hmm, that could be read as a dig at Clif
It would’ve been a dig if you’d said ‘and with even more pedantry’.
To be pedantic about it.
But wouldn’t that require at least one of them to be *gulp* topless at some point?
With any luck both will, which will create a singularity of ugliness that will suck them both into infinity.
And like I said in my pitch today
How did I miss this bit?
This should be “As I said…”
Yay, Classic Gary is back. Compared to Truthy, with his voluminous screeds and endless bad-faith questions, Gary is pure, distilled ‘LIBRALS R DUMB USA 4EVAR’ goodness, kind of like a wingnut Rothko.
It looks more like the NR relies on non-readers. Or beginning readers.
Fuckabuncha WordPress, by the way.
And like I said in my pitch today
How did I miss this bit?
This should be “As I said…”
Not to mention that “in my pitch” should be “out of my ass.”
As a ukulelist of of small renown (but renown nonetheless), I have to take exception with the photograph of KJL. I believe this is one of the most egregious uses of what the young people call “The Photo-Shop” ever perpetrated. I don’t know if the little instrument (or, considering the midriff, my “little instrument”) will ever recover.
[Cue “Tomorrow” . . . ??The sun’ll come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sun!??]
Bwa-ha-ha, beat you to it.
The world is clamoring for a third version of Swept Away.
Kabuki Girl. She was in the previous thread itching for battle, albeit in a clueless, half-assed way. Came back much later and dropped an ‘I know you are but what am I?’
It’s an oldie, but a goodie:
Ship of Tools
No to worry, we’re working up something special for Kabuki “Girl” — tentatively titled “Ship of Drools,” but that may change.
“But K-Lo is not going down without a fight”
Does it need to be said?
I suspect K-Lo has never gone down, ever, after that one time in Junior High.
I wanna see Kabuki Girl and KLo get in a catfight over who gets to Monica-ize Steyn on one of these cruises.
If KLo would agree to that, I would definitely contribute something financial to the NRO begging cup.
Even if it was only one of Joe-The-Plumber’s bon mots like “To get rich, buy low, sell high, and don’t pay your taxes”, it would still be a contribution, and I’m sure it would be welcomed.
“How in the World Wide Web can we be optimistic? As we watch the construction of the Obama administration? As we watch Republicans pray that indicted senator Ted Stevens pulls out his reelection bid? As we prepare to accept the possibility of a Sen. Al Franken? As we take slings and arrows from allies? As lessons seem to go unlearned – or worse, forgotten? ”
As we watch K-LO mangle an entire paragraph? I wish they had offered basic writing classes on the cruise.
Top tips for spotting Republican wannabe intellectuals
No. 1: On a cruise, they’re the self-satisfied ones wearing fucking business suits.
No. 2: With fucking ties.
No. 3: Seriously. Ties on a fucking cruise. What is wrong with these people?
I suspect K-Lo has never gone down, ever, after that one time in Junior High.
What I heard was that she didn’t really do it even then. She said it was really murder, but she was just pretending.
As we watch K-LO mangle an entire paragraph? I wish they had offered basic writing classes on the cruise.
Well, she did learn about Pan Bimbo, so there’s something.
I have detected the phrase “enviting enviroments” in one of Gary’s posts.
For those of you scratching your heads, this comes from the more common “en-vittles en-virile”, and means “Penis enhancing foods”.
Thank you for your attention in this matter.
I would have to go back for my doctorate to do it justice, but the short version would be is that they have a fragile sense of self that needs the bolstering of outward forms of status to maintain their coherence.
To wear a costume such as the “Pineapple Passion” ensemble the Pantload sports in his first picture, a person would need the kind of insouciance that says, “I don’t care that I look like a fool, it has gotten me where I am today.”
> No. 3: Seriously. Ties on a fucking cruise. What is wrong with these people?
It comes from the fact that the main gene in their DNA, controlling all their behaviors and beliefs, is the dreaded Used Car Salesman gene.
i wonder why pantload’s “ambiguously gendered” friend is so awesome.
after all, there’s nothing wrong with ambiguous gender.
my theory is that it’s the spatial relationship, the proximity of the ambiguous gender to the pantload. that ambiguity, along with the slightly off smile, completely undermine the very serious point pantload’s trying to make. with — is that a cigar?
> She said it was really murder, but she was just pretending.
One of the dilemmas that young Christian women always face is “spit or swallow”. Recall that oral sex is approved by some of the Virgin Till Marriage crowd.
I am of the firm opinion that all good Y.C.W. should swallow, since the Holy Spirit might appear and cause the seed to blossom into the second coming.
(I already awarded myself extra points for the reverse-backflip double entendre in the above sentence)
When do we get a S,N! Cruise? How about the Haitian Riviera?
Sounds like she took a management course at AIG.
“Our business is failing, but we can’t give up the cruises and perks! It’s how we do business!”
No. 3: Seriously. Ties on a fucking cruise. What is wrong with these people?
Most cruises have at least one formal dinner. Ties required. Black tie preferred.
The fact is, you are all insane, and here is the proof.
http://worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=56494
Trust me, if you want to see Heartland Americans, take a cruise.
They make Jonah look fit.
Hell, they make Chris Farley look fit.
Of course there’s pushback from the fan base. The mouth-breathers have never been supportive of “eco” causes.
Huh? Oh. Well see, the cruises are a sort of “Save the Whales” campaign, no?
Y’know, while the thought of K-Lo gagging on a dick has its appeal…excuse me, I think I have to go throw up. And gouge out my mind’s eye.
I suspect K-Lo has never gone down, ever, after that one time in Junior High.
“C’mon, Kathy, if you pretending you’re shaking hands with it, it will be veery nice to you!”
At the top of the corner at NRO is this headline:
“Some Boehner today: [Kathryn Jean Lopez]”
Does this mean she got some, or made another one?
Please, no more. I beg of you. I’m cringing here.
As a ukulelist of of small renown (but renown nonetheless), I have to take exception with the photograph of KJL.
That’s not a ukelele.
That’s a Bohmann harp guitar. Remember, scale is everything with K-Lo.
BREAKING! AROO! MUST CREDIT NATION!
I expect the great minds over at Renew America to dedicate their busy schedules in full to these efforts.
Trust me, if you want to see Heartland Americans, take a cruise.
Or, for those of you financially challenged, visit your local Wal-Mart.
Remember those freak shows they used to have in carnivals? Well…
In those pics Jonah looks as if he has, in fact, been tanning in the Bahamas. Y’all may have to start calling him the “Bronzed Pantload.”
i wonder why pantload’s “ambiguously gendered” friend is so awesome.
I think it’s the marcelled hair. Imagine: every time he/she needs a touch-up, it entails a trip back to 1935.
Y’all may have to start calling him the “Bronzed Pantload.”
The directions on the package said to bake the dough until it’s golden brown.
Wow, Ramesh Ponnuru is very short!
BREAKING! AROO! MUST CREDIT NATION!
Ah, Alan Keyes, arriving like an early Santa of Stupidity. God Bless Us Everyone!
Does anyone know if Chief Editor Korir is planning any fundraising cruises?
I understand there is one being planned and it will be announced any day now. Simply send him your real name, your real email address, your real telephone number, your real social security number, and your real bank account number, and he will let you know as soon as all arrangements have been made.
http://africanpress.tripod.com/id28.html
Tommy Bahama shirt, snifter of brandy, substitute phallus….yup, that guy just begs for a shovel to the face.
Does anyone know if Chief Editor Korir is planning any fundraising cruises?
I just noticed that the Chief Editor’s name is an anagram of “Rikro”, which sounds like RickRoll. That has to mean something.
No. 3: Seriously. Ties on a fucking cruise. What is wrong with these people?
Most cruises have at least one “formal” evening, where even the slackiest and liberalest of slacker liberals, such as myself, clean up real good and dress up (albeit some people’s interpretations of “formal” can be rather unusual). So yes, ties on a cruise.
Check out the comments at the link D.N. posted. Sanitarium quality.
Trust me, if you want to see Heartland Americans, take a cruise.
They make Jonah look fit.
Hell, they make Chris Farley look fit.
I know that as a liberal and a Democrat, I am supposed to be skinny, wear black, live in an urban enclave on one of the coasts, and spend my vacation time bodysurfing the Amazon River or buying hash in Amsterdam, but it just ain’t happening.
I guess what I’m saying is, when you use a drift net to catch tuna, you’re gonna trap some dolphins, too, and fuck that.
Check out the comments at the link D.N. posted. Sanitarium quality.
Kerning fans should run–don’t walk–to those comments, ASAP.
when you use a drift net to catch tuna, you’re gonna trap some dolphins, too
One of many reasons I’m a vegetarian.
Also: Can we please have the Preview button back? I miss it so.
> BREAKING! AROO! MUST CREDIT NATION!
The next repug cruise will feature a boatload (haha) of lectures by experts on kerning, printer fonts, and birth certificate forensics.
If that photo is representative of how people dress at a formal dinner in America, standards are very low. A second hand tux costs, what, $40? And pinstripes are absolutely not acceptable.
Ginger Yellow: Hey, they’re just a bunch of wild n’ crazy guys. Sartorial rules mean nothing to them.
Tuxes are are for effete east coast elites. Conservative trust fund babies whose entire careers depend on patronage wear suits.
Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ! That is the GREATEST photo of the Pantload EVAH! Notice how he demonstrates his Goucher College sophistication by cupping the snifter to warm the brandy, while managing to gently cradle his Cuban skin-flute (and you just KNOW it’s Cuban, that all-American patriot) without mussing his Tommy Bahama (standard Whyte Man issue), in order to reinforce the gravitas of what surely must have been a pointed exegesis of how the librul fashists are in power now. Can’t…stop…looking…
You know, I just noticed –
what the HELL is up with Androgynous Person’s hair? Did anyone else notice the crazy “racing stripes” effect in those pictures? Is it some kind of moire effect or are those stripes actually there?
O/T, but as this article points out, Ted Stevens (R-Crazyland)’s defeat is a gift that keeps on giving.
Poor whingenuts. Do I hear teeth-gnashing and garment-rending?
Let’s apply Republican Kerning Analysis™ to the two cruise pictures.
Note how they are from the exact same spot and angle (within a few degrees). We can conclude, with certainty, that these two photos took place very close in temporal terms. Note how P’load’s drink has been drunk. This is the proof of the two photos being just a few seconds apart. And the androgynous blob on P’load’s right has not moved between the two photos.
Any differences, like the two people with their backs to us, were obviously photoshopped in. This is also the explanation for the clothes being different, and every other difference as well.
If you think I don’t have a conclusion from this brilliant analysis, THINK AGAIN! My conclusion is that – Barry Hussein’s birth certificate is a fake.
That’s Young Conservative hair, you know, only a few barbors are qualified to perform that procedure.
If this ship ever sinks, perhaps K-LO and Pantload will make it to the only life boat and end up stranded on a tropical island, making a new life for themselves, a la The Blue Lagoon.
You fucking, fucking bastard.
[sobs, runs away]
> what the HELL is up with Androgynous Person’s hair? Did anyone else notice the crazy “racing stripes” effect in those pictures? Is it some kind of moire effect or are those stripes actually there?
It appears, using Republican Kerning Analysis™, to be reflections of the camera flash on the Brycreem in his hair.
we should all make a donation with .01 at the end, so they it is from us.
i suggest those donations start with a 0 as well.
a bunch of 0.01 donations fucks up their system, as it costs more than a penny to process each one.
but then i’ve always been a ratfucker.
or, to rewrite that sentence with a certain amount of K-Lo brio
but, than, ive always been an ratfucker.
Scott Johnson of Powerline says some people like the National Review cruises so much, they keep coming back for more.
Also, cruise image stash!
Any differences, like the two people with their backs to us, were obviously photoshopped in. This is also the explanation for the clothes being different, and every other difference as well.
Good call. Also, while there are old people in the background of both pictures, in the first picture we can clearly see through the windows that it is dark outside. As we all know, old people don’t come out at night.
Therefore, the first picture is a fake.
Also, I just received a confirmation call from the pantload’s androgynous friend that they were, in fact, standing in front of a green screen in a secret industrial Cheetos warehouse when this photo was taken. And– like Capricorn One— because of this knowledge, this gender ambiguous cherub is now being mercilessly hunted by pantload’s nefarious colleagues.
Sacre Bleu!
please never suggest k-lo going down again. you provoked a horrifying vision with that phrase. thanking you in advance for your cooperation.
> And– like Capricorn One– because of this knowledge, this gender ambiguous cherub is now being mercilessly hunted by pantload’s nefarious colleagues.
You mean the Stalkin’ Malkin’ Minions™?
Damn them all. Damn them to Hell! (I’m standing next to the Statue Of Liberty as I say this)
> Also, cruise image stash!
From the pix, they had Steele on this cruise. Who said Tokenism is a thing of the past?
Double bonus for republicans, too. The cruise attendees can now use phrases like “I’ll have you know that I took a cruise with a negro!”, “I’ll have you know that there are lots of negroes who didn’t vote for Obama!”, and the always-useful “I’ll have you know that I have lots of close negro friends!”.
I’m a little late to the party, per usual. Seriously, people send those wankers money? My universe just turned inside-out.
Just what is going on with the ambiguously gendered fan’s hair?
I swear that I had a nightmare about this cruise; I was on the deck and was about to tell the crew that a whale had beached itself on board, when it turned over and it was K-Lo and she purred, “Put some sunscreen on my back, willya? Go as far down as you want”, and I woke up screaming. That’s the sort of thing that keeps me out most nights fighting crime; I’m really sort of over the whole parents-killed-by-muggers thing.
Sorry, Pere Ubu. I normally read every post before opening my yap…
No one is allowed to leave the boat. Ever.
Never get off the boat. Absolutely goddamn right.
It appears, using Republican Kerning Analysis™, to be reflections of the camera flash on the Brycreem in his hair.
Sorry, but I have to call Bullshit™ on that. Nobody ELSE has parallel reflections like that on their heads.
Maybe the hair area is still not fully inflated after ‘it’ broke away from the stem it budded off on.
OMFG!!111 I just realized – they used a “blur” tool on A.P.’s head to make his/her/its hair DARKER!
Why, now I have to take the idea that there was any sort of “cruise” with a grain of salt. I see no sea outside the windows, after all! This could have been taken in someone’s elitist NYC apartment for all we know.
WHAT IS THE CORNER TRYING TO HIDE!!!
I believe the gentleman in question has “wavy hair,” which, combined with the “sweep from the side so I won’t have to change when it’s comb-over time” has resulted in the moire pattern picked up by the flash.
In the second photo, it is moderated by the angle. He is certainly happy, though I don’t know about what.
Judging how closely he matches the Pantload in dress, and stands so near, it would appear he is being used to distract the snipers who, of course, lurk in waiting to bring down the finest lights of the Conservative Movement, lest their brilliance bring about the economic and humanitarian paradise they are always promising.
Katie O’Bierne looks like cotton candy on a stick. I haven’t seen that color outside of a carrnival or the Barbie aisle at Toys R Us.
I believe the gentleman
ANOTHER LIEBERUL ASSUMPTION.
from the comments in the Alan Keyes lawsuit link:
I wonder how much of the increase in unemployment was caused by wingnuts freaking out at work and getting fired?
Goodness, children! As someone upthread a ways pointed out, this young androgynous person has marcelled hair. Now get off my lawn.
An ambiguously gendered Pantload groupie with inexplicable hair. Aah, the stories he could tell.
I believe the gentleman in question has “wavy hair,” which, combined with the “sweep from the side so I won’t have to change when it’s comb-over time” has resulted in the moire pattern picked up by the flash.
Elitist fancypants with your “moire” talk and your “I believe the gentleman…”
Why do you hate real Americans????
If you’re visiting the Corner, be sure to catch the reactions to Kathleen Parker’s Washington Post column, especially Goldberg’s. She’s being honest about the Republican base and national political, demographic trends, and that simply cannot stand.
I guess what I’m saying is, when you use a drift net to catch tuna, you’re gonna trap some dolphins, too, and fuck that.
Hang on…we just spent half this thread talking about K-Lo and Goldberrrrrrrrrrg, but MY comment you took offense to?
No, no. I conclude that Androgynous Person had a heinously bad highlight job which has mostly grown out and been cut off now. The remaining half-inch or so, scheduled to die on the cutting room floor during AP’s next visit to his or her stylist or barber, still shines like a beacon of freedom.
Katie O’Bierne looks like cotton candy on a stick. I haven’t seen that color outside of a carrnival or the Barbie aisle at Toys R Us.
Also, check out the hands – very Coulteresque, ifyaknowwhatImean.
Goodness, children! As someone upthread a ways pointed out, this young androgynous person has marcelled hair. Now get off my lawn.
I thought that had something to do with mimes.
> In the second photo, it is moderated by the angle. He is certainly happy, though I don’t know about what.
It’s probably a reach-around.
Not the preferred republican reach-around (the fabled Dirty Airport Bathroom R.A.), but rather one of the more common Elitist Cruise Ship R.A.s
Jonah is budding.
Bad Pere Ubu. No cookies for you.
As we take slings and arrows from allies?
K. Lo and a sling…
My mind! My beautiful mind! What have you people done to it?!
Um…I think it’s time for another post about Marie Jon’. Her grammar sucks too, and she’s hot.
Those cruise pictures are Pure. Comedy. Gold.
Check out the wife of ol’ Walrus Face. It looks like she just woke up from a Plato’s Retreat all-night marathon, circa 1975 – in demeanor, clothing, overall look, and “put away wet” appearance.
I thought that had something to do with mimes.
I can’t say.
Those are finger grooves: ambiguously gendered person is clearly a “run fingers through hair, throw back head and shake” type, like that cut-rate James Spader “sweep the leg” kid in “Karate Kid”.
Does anyone know if Chief Editor Korir is planning any fundraising cruises?
He was all set to have one, until suddenly the ship they had commissioned was boarded by pirates. Islamofascist Obama-loving pirates, of course; is there any other kind?
it appears to have caused a bit of an uprising among their target audience of call-center employees, gun collectors, survivalists, and under-medicated paranoid schizophrenics.
Yeah, so what’s the problem?
> Um…I think it’s time for another post about Marie Jon’. Her grammar sucks too, and she’s hot.
Let’s champion the cause of a Palin/Marie Jon 2012 candidacy. The possibilities are endless.
We will definitely get donations from girlfriend-challenged republican “men”. Another big potential donor to the cause would be the MSM and SNL – look at how their ratings went up with Palin. That would only be the tip of the iceberg (ironic ha ha) with double-billed hot religious women volk as comic foils.
You can’t say it enough times. Palin is the gift that keeps giving.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/19/ethics-complaint-filed-ag_n_144873.html
those other exemplars of erudition over at National Review
I would have said “…epigones of erudition…”. Somehow the word sounds pretentious and offensive at the same time. You would also puzzle some readers who thought the Epigones were a secretive tribe who inhabit the rain-forests of West Africa.
Hang on…we just spent half this thread talking about K-Lo and Goldberrrrrrrrrrg, but MY comment you took offense to?
I took (very very slight) offense to your generalization about people who live in the Flyover, and about people who go on cruises, and the implication that such people are (a) insufficiently trim and supple and (b) somehow unworthy as a result.
Jonah and the Whale are fair game, because while we mock their ginormity, it is in the context of their wingnuttery. We do not claim they are idiots because they are humongous lardbutts; we simply note their blobbism as a humorous aside. Whereas your swipe at cruise-going middle Americans was aimed strictly at our humongous lardbuttitude. As I noted, your snark net caught some friendly and otherwise worthy mammals among the slimy fish you were aiming for.
You people! Still talking about this “cruise” as if it happened when OBVIOUSLY there is no true photographic evidence that these people ever left the United States!
Why, next you’ll be trying to convince me that Jonah wasn’t born in Kenya to Michael Moore’s love child. PFAUGH!
JonahG is drinking cognac in one picture and chardonnay in another. Certified Non-Elitist(TM) beverages for sure.
Get ’em by the epigones and their hearts and minds will follow.
> JonahG is drinking cognac in one picture and chardonnay in another. Certified Non-Elitist(TM) beverages for sure.
Such sarcasm! Knowing that P’load is a true republican Man Of The People, it was probably Pabst brand cognac and Coors Light chardonnay.
Don’t forget the Merit seegar.
>Why is there a [sic] after rely in the last quote?
Technically, it should (kind of) be “relied.” As in, “National Review in all its forms has always [and I suspect will always] relied on readers. It’s the parenthetical “and I suspect will always” that throws everything off, set off as it is by commas rather than parens or em dashes, and placed as it is in that rather awkward position. Ideally, it would simply say “National Review in all its forms has always relied on readers.” Or perhaps “National Review in all its forms has always relied on readers, and I suspect it always will.” Or some variant thereof.
The real problem is that the woman has some apparent small difficulty with English grammar and syntax.
OT – Tripod has given API the boot.
OT – Looks like Tripod has given API the boot.
Also, FYWP.
You liberal elitists and your pre-9/11 word put together rules that are quaint and that need special learning and put in books and such. That is why Sarah Palin is so genuine and loved and capable of leading our country also.
The end.
PS Any news on whether K-Lo is in the running, well, not really running, maybe walking, perhaps not really partaking in any actual physical effort, maybe just being considered to edit the Palin book?
Campaign Chair
‘Cuda/the Nuge 2012
The NRO cruise shot of Michael Steele features his wife(?) looking about as happy as you would suspect anyone would be after being trapped on a ship with these blowhards.
http://nrcruise.com/gallery1.htm
On page 2 of the cruise gallery, Bork is just about the scariest thing I’ve seen today, and I’ve already cleaned up cat barf twice.
I took (very very slight) offense to your generalization about people who live in the Flyover
Most of them were from Jersey, tho.
The NRO cruise shot of Michael Steele features his wife(?) looking about as happy as you would suspect anyone would be after being trapped on a ship with these blowhards.
Kind of jumps out at you, doesn’t it? I don’t think I could do a better “Oh for the love of all that is good and holy, please KILL ME NOW!” face if I tried, and I’m a decent actor.
I hereby make an official request that someone from the Republican Kerning Team be assigned to investigate if Joe The Plumber is actually a “Boy From Brazil” of G Gordon Liddy.
The similarities are too alarming! Baldness, plumbing, and naziism.
It would be reckless to not speculate on the possibility.
On page 2 of the cruise gallery, Bork is just about the scariest thing I’ve seen today, and I’ve already cleaned up cat barf twice.
He looks like death warmed over.
> Kind of jumps out at you, doesn’t it? I don’t think I could do a better “Oh for the love of all that is good and holy, please KILL ME NOW!” face if I tried, and I’m a decent actor.
Her surly face comes from the fact that she had been asked “Honey, could you put new linens on my bed?” by 37 different attendees of the cruise before they realized who she was.
WiIl Joe the Plumber hold his hand over a candle flame until his palm is black and charred?
That would settle it.
Another episode of unintentional wingnut humor. The caption under one of the pictures featuring teh Pantload reads as follows:
“Jonah Goldberg, Ramesh Ponnurru and fellow cruisers.”
Were Jonah, et al taking a wide stance on the issues?!
The National Lampoon…er, Review really is bringing the funny these days. From K-Lo’s bleg:
She then proceeds to give us the roster of who will be providing the 2008 version of the “best that is in us:”
All this, and “Radio Derb” too! Watch out, you damn dirty liberals, elitist PH.D.s, and parasitic bureaucrats – NRO is watching your every move. Surrender now while you still can!
On page 2 of the cruise gallery, Bork is just about the scariest thing I’ve seen today, and I’ve already cleaned up cat barf twice.
Holy fuck. He looks like he’s about to use that cane on someone’s head.
In a just world “Borking” would refer to whacking off to porn you want to ban.
WiIl Joe the Plumber hold his
hand overdick in acandle flametoaster until hispalmglans is black and charred?Fixed.
Meanwhile, there’s a hyperactive child in the police truck using chemical warfare to pull my strings.
> On page 2 of the cruise gallery, Bork is just about the scariest thing I’ve seen today, and I’ve already cleaned up cat barf twice.
On the same page, check out the “A good time was had by all!” picture. Note the number of hands that are hidden, and presumably engaged in furtive activities, in that picture.
It illustrates the ancient cliche of “republicans love wanking each other off in the bubbles they live in”.
I prefer to accentuate the positive!
Why hasn’t G. Gordon Liddy had a boxing match with Danny Partridge?
“Borking” would refer to whacking off to porn you want to ban.
But RB, that would be unfair to all the other politicians and legislators in many countries who deserve to have their names eponymised in the same way.
“They are begging for money again at America’s Shittiest Website”…
As GoGo Yubari said to The Bride in “Kill Bill”: “You call that begging? You can beg better than that.”
Personally, I find it offensive that America’s greatest patriots must cruise on a ship with Dutch registry. My God, the indignities rightwing pundits must endure besides, of course, Doughy Pantload’s hideous tropical shirt.
> But RB, that would be unfair to all the other politicians and legislators in many countries who deserve to have their names eponymised in the same way.
Then let’s just make “Bork” a synonym for “Barf”, or more specifically, “Cat Barf”.
In a just world “Borking” would refer to whacking off to porn you want to ban.
“Borking” had a perfectly suitable meaning during the Nixon administration. I bet he thanks merciful Cthulhu every day for the later events.
I read this as they have a cynical contempt for human freedom, but are uncorroded by it.
Meanwhile, there’s a hyperactive child in the police truck using chemical warfare to pull my strings.
I think my code book might be out of date. Is the proper response, “Yes, but still the fat man walks alone among the gadflies on the boulevard”?
How come you guys haven’t had a day-by-day-off in a long long time? Here.
I’d start it but currently I’m at a loss for words.
? A ma’m or a sir, a him or a her
respect it for whatever it may be
it’s time for androgyny
it’s just Pat!?
K.J. Lopez gets email (my emphasis):
The NRO staff went to the Caribbean last week, and so did this reader’s money.
Oh man I am just laughing so much. Michael Steel’s wife, Bork’s eyes, seems like being a wingnut is its own punishment.
Yes, the woman next to Michael Steele is his wife, Andrea. That and The Bork are my favorites from the cruise galleries.
“Bork” a synonym for “Barf”, or more specifically, “Cat Barf”.
Shouldn’t that be “Cat [sic]”?
i suggest that the corner put chief editor korir in charge of fundraising.
i suggest that the corner put chief editor korir in charge of fundraising.
I’ll bet they already have some pretty good contact information to sell.
The NRO staff went to the Caribbean last week, and so did this reader’s money.
I do a lot of
money launderinginvesting with Cayman and Bermudian banks.They don’t take loose change. More likely, it was stuffed in his mattress.
The National Review – the same one that puts on one of these swank-de-swank cruises every damn year – actually loses money ?!
Well shiver me timbers – shouldn’t the Free Market consign them to oblivion, then? Oh, & shouldn’t ANYTHING they have to say regarding economics be automatically invalidated by their own marathon of epic fiscal failure? Am I missing something here?
K-Lo writes like I swim – which is why I avoid travelling by water.
Robert Bork? John Bolton?
Well, ugly as it looks, there is an upside here: at least this way we know they’re not causing any REAL trouble. The NR Cruise has barrel-bottom deposits under its fingernails. I guess Alan Keyes was busy fighting the good fight alongside the Kerning Squad.
No Preview Window = Comment Roulette!
Wheeeeee!
Spin the wheel, throw in the ball – & hope like hell!
Yes, I’m just enough of a sick fuck to enjoy it.
Is K-LO the Shelley Winters of the NRO Cruises Poseidon Adventure?
“More likely, it was stuffed in his mattress.”
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Is K-LO the Shelley Winters of the NRO Cruises Poseidon Adventure?
That’s almost a reason to post the greatest song ever written about disaster movies. Again.
That’s almost a reason to post the greatest song ever written about disaster movies. Again.
BORGNINE!
I’d like to advise my fellow undermedicated paranoid schizophrenics that reading National Review, much less The Corner, is a foolish waste of the time you could be using more productively to read the instructions in your snakebite kit.
The NRO cruise shot of Michael Steele features his wife(?) looking about as happy as you would suspect anyone would be after being trapped on a ship with these blowhards.
It’s the look on the waiter’s face in that photo that cracks me up. Can you imagine what his life was like on that cruise? O the humanity.
These images, plus the previous post, have driven the question to perplexing madness:
What is it with right-wing idjits and their attempts at beards? Why is the cat’s-ass non-beard the facial coating choice? Did they run out of Chia Pet seeds?
We demand the truth!
Thursday,
That’s not a beard on Jonah. That’s last week’s fudge pop.
Now I’m tapped out, having hidden all my extra money from the U.N.’s black helicopters!
Fixed.
(and he probably should be.)
Jonah Goldberg, Byron York, Victor Davis Hanson, Andrew C. McCarthy, Mark Steyn, and others
And I’d be expected to fucking pay money to be trapped on a small vehicle in the middle of the ocean with people like that WHY?
Christ, just between VD and Stain it’d only remain to be seen how long until they decided cannibalism was a conservative virtue and started shooting the ship crew.
How is she an editor? Has she met the English language? That’s really deplorable.
How is she an editor? Has she met the English language?
It’s not who you know, it’s who you blow.
And I’d be expected to fucking pay money to be trapped on a small vehicle in the middle of the ocean with people like that WHY?
These “cruises” are usually not dedicated cruises per se, but usually held as part of the regular ship’s travels.
These boats can hold thousands of people. Groups like the NRO probably only attract a few hundred folks, at the prices they charge and the fact that your passengers have to travel to the ship. Ergo, the group is just a subset of all the passengers.
So, to extend your question: now imagine you’re one of the other paying guests on the ship….
And I’d be expected to fucking pay money to be trapped on a small vehicle in the middle of the ocean with people like that WHY?
Bizarro-world Hospital Ship.
So, to extend your question: now imagine you’re one of the other paying guests on the ship….
Eeeeeuyrgh. Having been to a couple hotel SF conventions, I can just imagine how the “normal” folks felt. And that was on dry land, where they could leave the building and forget about the freakshow.
To be trapped at sea on a ship with VD and Jonah and the Stain and K-Lo… the horror… the horror…
Say, did you know that Saturday has been (unilaterally) declared Victory In Iraq Day by our FReeper friends?
It’s true, even old Dr Mrs Mr Perfesser himself linked to it!
Hmmm, if only the President would make some sort of proclamation about it…you know, telling us the mission has been accomplished…he could do it from some military setting, like the deck of a carrier.
People send these people money, while the du Toits are $60,000 deep in consumer debt, have no equity in their house, and gain back all the weight after lap-band surgery? Is there no justice in this world? Hell, is there no mercy?
Pere, it’s like being on a ship full of zombies without an appropriate way to behead them.
Hand to hand engagement won’t work, and there’s only so many you can take out with a shot gun. Your only alternative is to jump ship.
“That’s last week’s fudge pop.”
Wingnut face pop?
Wingnut fudge face?
Wingnut fudge mullet?
Catfight At The NRO
> It’s the look on the waiter’s face in that photo that cracks me up. Can you imagine what his life was like on that cruise? O the humanity.
The waiter went postal around the 12th time he got that glibertarian fantasy story from some non-tipping wingnut about giving the tip to the homeless instead because of Hussein X.
Bizarro-world Hospital Ship.
No, it’s more like this this thing.
No, it’s more like this this thing.
Hey, I knew Lydia Cornell. I worked with Lydia Cornell. Lydia Cornell is a friend of mine.
Don’t diss her this way!
I would rather attend a SF convention, even in a full Star Trek costume, than be subjected to an NRO cruise.
I mean, there’s a make believe culture based on war by funny looking people with emotions not completely in line with homo sapiens…
and then there’s Klingons.
Isn’t a “for-profit” enterprise having to beg for money a sure sign that their business model is a bit askew?
The waiter went postal around the 12th time he got that glibertarian fantasy story from some non-tipping wingnut about giving the tip to the homeless instead because of Hussein X.
Sadly, I think, No. Otherwise we wouldn’t have this awesome photo stash.
No, it’s more like this this thing.
The ‘Load Boat! Days of discussing politics with full mouths and empty brains, nights of awkward missionary position fumbling in the dark.
When do we get a S,N! Cruise? How about the Haitian Riviera?
Any Sadly, No! Caribbean cruise would absolutely have to make a stop at Saba. Why? See the map.
Can ships get to Butte?
I would rather attend a SF convention, even in a full Star Trek costume, than be subjected to an NRO cruise.
True story: the first hotel SF convention I went to, one of the vendors was walking around, looking very self-conscious, with Spock ears.
That was it. Regular street dress, but with Spock ears on. You could tell he did it to try to appeal to the crowd but was not at all happy with the idea. Probably how I would have felt being on that ship, smiling and nodding at their Galtesque bloviating while screaming inside to just rip the damn ears off and go all berserk on their fucked-up asses.
Holy catdirt, Bolton’s mustache is so white it’s fluorescent. I bet that you could see it from orbit.
Float, with Nash’nul Review
Come Aboard. We’re expecting you.
Hate, a ‘tard’s sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you.
‘Tard Boat soon will be making another run
The NRO Boat kills braincells for everyone
Set a course for mind-numbing,
Your mind on a pretend past.
Hate won’t hurt anymore
It’s a stupid premise on a phony argument.
Yes HAAAAAATE! It’s DUUUUUMB! (hey-ah!)
a ship full of zombies without an appropriate way to behead them
OK, I’ll bite. What is the appropriate way to behead them?
Black tie? Tuxedo? I would hate to dress up for what turned out to be an informal occasion.
The way I took it, their heads don’t work right, so the usual Zombie Rules might not apply.
The way I took it, their heads don’t work right, so the usual Zombie Rules might not apply.
Well, the whole idea of shooting ’em in the head is to de-activate the brain.
Wingnuts, now, the brain has been pre-deactivated all along.
> The way I took it, their heads don’t work right, so the usual Zombie Rules might not apply.
repig zombies don’t eat brains. It might endanger their status of being totally ignorant about reality and confused about how 2+2=4.
The captain’s in a coma, the lieutenant’s on a drunk;
the owner’s in his cabin with his special friend, the monk;
the midget’s on the bridge, dispensing platitudes and junk –
those wild and special places,
those strange and dangerous places,
those sad, sweet faces,
it’s a Ship of Fools.
The nurse in black seamed stockings, she’s already on patrol
for fake fur starlets panicked by the watering-hole;
everybody’s waiting for the drama to unfold
in those cold and treasured places,
those old and degenerate places;
those posed, posed, empty faces
it’s a Ship of Fools.
Can ships get to Butte?
How do you think they transport all of those badgers, by train??
How do you think they transport all of those badgers, by train??
They doan’ need no steenkin’ badgers.
J—, I don’t get it. Is there a joke on that map or is it just a great place to visit?
J—, I don’t get it.
I butt you!
The nurse in black seamed stockings, she’s already on patrol
Oh, thank you ever so much for putting the image of K-Lo in black stockings into my head.
You’ll be receiving a bill in the mail from my therapist any day now.
I think I might have to withdraw my proposal about a S,N! cruise. As much as I love ya’ll, we would have to bring along some fReichtards to mock to have something to do. And then we would be on a boat with fReichtards. Which would be like being on the NRO cruise. So, we might as well book spots on the same ship with the NRO cruise and mock them from the poop deck. We could cause a raging case of norovirus and watch Jonah puke his brains out. Slip some LSD into Kabuki Girl’s maitai. Etc., etc.
An Ox said,
November 20, 2008 at 1:05
J—, I don’t get it.
I butt you!
Now I am even more confused.
It’s all about the fundamentals.
Loneoak: It would depend upon whose ox gets gored.
FYWP.
We could all go Dutch treat.
People send these people money, while the du Toits are $60,000 deep in consumer debt, have no equity in their house, and gain back all the weight after lap-band surgery?
Dear me. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer, more self-reliant, more personally accountable, more ruggedly individualistic couple.
I don’t blame Mrs. Kim for being afraid of her daughter joining the Air Force while Obama is CiC, though. What parent of a service member wants the incessant dread of knowing that our president may fail to invade a country that hasn’t attacked us?
We could all go Dutch treat
I’m not doing that; they always want you to pay in cheese and tulips!
Since this seems to be kind of a “free association” thread, here is a possible successor to “No soap, radio” as the best punch line:
“A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women’s stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.”
http://www.theherald.com.au/news/local/news/general/man-caught-with-penis-in-pasta-jar/1363831.aspx
Did someone mention the Sex Pistols?
Friggin’ in the Riggin’
http://www.last.fm/music/Sex+Pistols/_/Friggin%27+in+the+Riggin%27
Every time I see that picture of KLo at the top of this thread, one mystery nags at me: what kind of frying pan hit her face?
Probably not some Elitist French brand like LeCreuset. More likely just a cheap copper clad generic, but with enough mass to inflict both the physical and mental damage so evident in her being.
J—, I don’t get it. Is there a joke on that map or is it just a great place to visit?
“The Bottom is an English corruption[.]”
“The Bottom is an English corruption[.]“
You’re telling me.
I’m not so sure K-Lo was struck by a pan; instead, I think she ran into the plateglass door at IHOP.
Hey, can’t I comment?
It seems like my commenting privileges have been revoked for some mystery misdemeanor.
This is very sketchy reporting. I can understand skipping over the home-made sex aid, (which will make me look at household objects in a different way) but what about the jar in question? Was there still pasta sauce in it? Was he (ahem) stuck? And what kind of person uses a pasta sauce jar without lubricant?
If only Carter had followed through with the metric thing, I would have an idea of what the jar description denoted.
Durn Democrats.
I’m not doing that; they always want you to pay in cheese and tulips!
But if you don’t have those, you can sneak out easily through the bottom half of the door.
I’m so dyslexic that at first I thought that hed read “An Open Sore on a Friendly Smile.”
Actually, looking at Jonah’s mug in the second picture, I thought a better headline would be “A Friendly Smile on an Open Sore”.
Since this seems to be kind of a “free association” thread,
Only this one, however.
Not open thread?
“The Bottom is an English corruption[.]“
Oh, I see … Teh Buttocks.
From the Wiki link: “The Bottom is home to among other things, government offices, a hospital, a nursing home and Saba University School of Medicine.”
You suppose the Medical School specializes in proctology?
Kathleen Parker is joined by another twisted secular maniac.
Four officers used batons and capsicum spray to remove him.
They found a 750-millilitre jar around his penis and noted that Weatherley attempted to continue “pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling”.
Now that is what I call DEDICATION.
Townhall’s actually got a lot right now, what with Stossel talking about how free markets solve everything and Malkin gay-baiting.
> Kathleen Parker is joined by another twisted secular maniac.
The comments there are like music to my ears. Schadenfreude to the n-th power.
Can we stay in post-election pre-inauguration mode forever?
Or maybe… on purpose?
Sure, it’s elaborate, convoluted, unpredictable, and dangerous, but that might be part of the thrill.
Going back to the, um, person with the lines in said person’s hair: This person is obviously some kind of obsessed Pantload fan, and the whole thing is giving off kind of a “There’s Something About Mary” vibe to me — maybe he borrowed some of Jonah’s ‘hair gel’. I’m kinda grossed out now.
Let’s see, 7 hours ago I was in Columbus, Ohio. Now I’m in Columbus, Georgia.
I got a lousy wireless connection, and our topic the ole “Man caught with his penis in a jar”.
It just never changes around here, does it?
Poop?
This is very sketchy reporting. I can understand skipping over the home-made sex aid, (which will make me look at household objects in a different way)
It’s probably best if you don’t search for KitchenAid Fuck Machine or anything like it. Planetary motion and all that.
Lipstick: Best post-election pre-inaugural EVER!
Marsupial: Ewww!
You guys are right – I was wrong about “rely”.
Zombie Bork hungers
And since we’re doing low-cost, if not free, association, who else thinks a book of semen recipes would make a fine gift for Michelle or Jonah or KLo (heh – I never figured that out until now!) or any of them for that matter?
Sometimes a cigar is an obnoxious overweight cigarette, but sometimes it’s a big brown dick.
Nice to see the dynamic duo: Doughy Pantload & Pat!
Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod! What are you people, blind?!!!!
The two pictures above are obviously a real life version of TNG Season Five, episode 117, “The Outcast.”
From that episode’s synopsis:
Commander William Riker (played by Jonathan Frakes) falls in love with Soren who is a member of an advanced, humanoid alien race called the J’naii. The J’naii are an androgynous species that views the expression of any sort of male or female gender, and especially sexual liaisons, as a sexual perversion. According to their official doctrine, the J’naii had evolved beyond gender and thus viewed the idea of male/female sexuality as primitive. more here
Replace “William Riker” with “Doughy Pantload” and the situations are identical.
> Replace “William Riker” with “Doughy Pantload” and the situations are identical.
Don’t forget that it’s a bunch of republicans.
You’ll have to whip up a dirty airport bathroom on the holodeck for the Full Monty.
You’ll have to whip up a dirty airport bathroom on the holodeck for the Full Monty.
I’ve always thought holodeck janitor would be the worst job ever.
That must make it quite painful to walk.
Makes Show-World look like a vacation.
I can’t recommend PeeJ’s link strongly enough. You must click through the pictures. It is amazing. “Man-made oysters.”
who else thinks a book of semen recipes would make a fine gift for Michelle or Jonah or KLo […] or any of them for that matter?
I wonder if post-vasectomy spermless semen works in those recipes?
If not, I guess I’d have to find a donor.
Salon on the Objectivist dating site The Atlasphere.
What a bunch of self-satisfied wankers. The Smug, it burns.
Thank you.
I have had my Umzug for the evening.
I’m all set here.
I still think Pirate hunting expeditions off the coast of Somalia would give racist white gun owners a productive outlet for their hatred. It’s a beautiful, efficient solution to the problem…
mikey
the Objectivist dating site The Atlasphere.
holy. fucking. jesus. on. benzadrine.
The mind is now awhirl with thoughts of legions of Randroids (all two dozen of ’em!) acting out the torrid sex scene from “The Fountainhead”. Wow, with images like that who needs epicacs?
who else thinks a book of semen recipes would make a fine gift for Michelle or Jonah or KLo […] or any of them for that matter?
Oh, god, not snotchos again.
Though I have to admit I laugh like an eight-year-old at the line “Hmm. The nachos here are creamier than I remembered.”
Chief Editor Korir and African Press International are back on WordPress. It’s a Resusurection!
Oh, god, not snotchos again.
I’d seen that post before, but I just now got that pun.
My respect for Gavin has increased by about a million times.
That made my day.
Sadly, No! will be receiving a bill for the $60 I needed to spend on pot after looking at that picture of Hawaiian K-Lo in order to regain my appetite.
who else thinks a book of semen recipes would make a fine gift for Michelle or Jonah or KLo […] or any of them for that matter?
I’m not sure any of these people should be allowed near a penis—Jonah and his own unit included—long enough in order to produce the primary ingredient.
From “Mister Roberts”: They sailed from tedium to boredom and back again.
Africanpress Says:
November 20, 2008 at 2:02 am
The first thing I am thinking of right now is not the tape! I am still angry at those enemies out there
CEko
——–
Drsharonschuetz Says:
November 20, 2008 at 2:03 am
If you would play the tape your enemies wouldn’t have anything to say. You would win.
AHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHHAAAA!
Maybe the National Review’s business plan is based on the “Syndicated SitCom Model”. They sign all the principal actors up to seven year contracts at twelve dollars per episode and renegotiate with whoever the star turns out to be three years after debut. Then in the sixth season the introduce a baby character, and in the seventh season they have a guest shot by McGinley. Profit!
actor212 said, @ November 20, 2008 at 0:06
Hey, I knew Lydia Cornell. I worked with Lydia Cornell. Lydia Cornell is a friend of mine.
I knew it! actor212 is Jameson Parker! Awesome!
Dude, “Prince Of Darkness” rocks!
Oh dear god, please stop arguing about parallel construction. I’d rather see another argument about punk rock. I’m begging you.
API: A miracle just as Jesus was ressurected [sic] also after 3 days – We praise the Lord!
Chief Editor Korir will now ascend into heaven.
For your own copy of the soon-to-be-famous “Shroud-of-Oslo,” please send your real name, real phone number, real e-mail address, real social security number, and real bank account number to etc.,etc.
Uh oh. No more Mr. Nice Chief Editor Korir:
Any one talking about the tape today on my first ressurection day will be struck off! I will not be the kind guy any more after what happened to me and my site. People celebrated
CEko
So, about Jello Biafra’s atrocious grammar…
I’ll bet there were a lot of tonguejacked shitboxes on that cruise.
Good pics. I’ve been able to identify Joanah, Rameesh and J-Pod.
But who is the fat babe in the suit & tie?
I’m not sure any of these people should be allowed near a penis—Jonah and his own unit included
Not to worry. There’s a hell of a lot of distance between Jonah and his own penis.
Why is America’s Shittiest Website™ not linked?
This comment from the Atlasphere story on Salon… I think it just may win the Interwebs, at least this week:
Here’s my contribution to the NRO “GIT A REAL JOB!”
For your own copy of the soon-to-be-famous “Shroud-of-Oslo,”
I will never tire of reminding people about the Shroud of Blinky.
Incidentally, was there sun-bathing on this Caribbean cruise? Because I would like to make a bad joke about “leaving no stern untoned”.
So, if you like egocentric people and big wangs, and you want a lover who is as selfish as you are in the sack,
I think I prefer the ‘pina coladas / getting caught in the rain’ version of the song.
A committee comes along and adds old-style junk, and balconies, to the man’s work. So the man blows up the building.
Y’know, I had never ever considered this before, but isn’t this precisely how the right wing in this country operates?
“It’s beautiful. It will have to go.”
My God, they are the robots of Krikkit!
I knew it! actor212 is Jameson Parker!
I wish. He got some from Karen Allen.
OK, I’ll bite. What is the appropriate way to behead them?
I prefer the rotors of a helicopter, myself.
repig zombies don’t eat brains. It might endanger their status of being totally ignorant about reality and confused about how 2+2=4.
They eat them out of jealousy.
Begging for money so you can hold “discussions” and “panels” on board a cruise ship? Wow, that’s quite a business model.
I know: how about letting market forces dictate which of these saps gets tossed overboard in the coming bush depression … ? Oh, no, wait: That would require them to create productive goods that Americans want to buy! … and let me be the first to say: NO NRO BAILOUT!
Where are the Somali pirates when you need them? Oh yes, stealing something on the high seas with actual value.
“we do work — … dinner, lunch …”
It speaks for itself. Good thing they’re not black because then they would be lazy.
Where are the Somali pirates when you need them? Oh yes, stealing something on the high seas with actual value.
Now that’s a conservative movie I’d go to see. Pirates board the Wank Boat. They demand money or they’ll start killing passengers. Goldberg hands over K-Lo. They are rescued by the 101st Fighting Keyboarders, who accidently kill everyone on board with their newly purchased semi-automatic weapons. The end.
*snif* I’m sorry, I just love a happy ending.
They demand money or they’ll start killing passengers.
I can see this scene at the dock:
“Did you hear? The NRO cruise was taken by pirates! They’ve demanded $100 million dollars or they’ll set the ship on fire!”
“No! But what’s the gas can for?”
“We’re taking up a collection to help them…”
Clif,
Grow up. I urge you to read Bob Somerby’s series of this week. This offering is puerile.
Gosh, Clif, hoser is right—how can you, a liberal comedy blog, make fun of people when Somerby is criticizing the establishment media of national television and print for triviality?
It’s like Jon Stewart. Does he uphold the high standards of professional journalistic behavior?? No! He acts like he’s some comedy show, or something!
We have taken the NRO cruise hostage. Pay us the sum of ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS or we will let them go.
Huh?? THAT is “ambiguous gender”? What have we come to? Oh, what sad times are these when a little rose on the cheeks and extra hair at the very top of the head qualifies one for “ambiguous gender” status! Believe me, I KNOW something about ambiguous gender–and that. is not. it.