At Last, A Pinko President!
Eat your heart out, Eugene Debs, and break out the vodka rations,* comrades! Because Barack Obama’s Communist agenda has been caught on tape! So says the wingnutosphere, and they are never wrong!
How wonderful will life be under Comrade Obama? Here are the apparatchiks at On Freedom’s Wings describing the first Five Year Plan:
What an Obama presidency will change those words to is: The economy becomes redistribution of wealth, wars become Marshall Law here in America with boots on our streets and terrorists able to destroy us and abortion becomes Eugenics where only the best get to live.
[Gavin adds: 1) You can see how they’d be threatened by that. 2) {awesome guitar chord} Alriiight! {smokin’ guitar riff} It’s Marshall La-a-a-a-aw!]
A Workers’ Paradise! But it gets better, says Lindy Borer:
Obama wishes to scrap the limits placed on government powers because they get in the way of his redistributive schemes. What powers are we talking about? Private property rights for one. Since property is distributed ‘unequally’ in Obama’s world, policies must be shaped and laws passed to deal with that situation. While he’s at it, Obama would like to trash the Bill of Rights by tossing the 9th and 10th Amendments which specifically limit the government’s powers vis a vis the people and the several states.
Ed Morrissey gets to the nub of it:
Barack Obama complains that the Constitution is a “charter of negative liberties”. That’s because the Constitution was intended as a limiting document, to curtail the power of the federal government vis-a-vis the states and the individual. The founders intended at the time to limit the reach of the federal government, and built the Constitution accordingly.
Barack Obama wants to reverse that entirely. And that’s radical change you’d better believe in, or else.
Ahh, but now we must beg your indulgence, fellow revolutionaries. We know that you wish to hear these words from the lips of soon-to-be Dear Leader himself, but you must be patient! Alas, we do not yet have the full audio of Obama’s glorious plan to ‘sever all ties to the Constitution’.
What we do have is the first half of the dialogue, a rather mundane explanation of Constitutional limits on judicial authority to establish positive rights in the context of historic social struggle:
If you look at the victories and failures of the civil rights movement and its litigation strategy in the court. I think where it succeeded was to invest formal rights in previously dispossessed people, so that now I would have the right to vote. I would now be able to sit at the lunch counter and order as long as I could pay for it I’d be o.k. But, the Supreme Court never ventured into the issues of redistribution of wealth, and of more basic issues such as political and economic justice in society. To that extent, as radical as I think people try to characterize the Warren Court, it wasn’t that radical. It didn’t break free from the essential constraints that were placed by the founding fathers in the Constitution, at least as its been interpreted and Warren Court interpreted in the same way, that generally the Constitution is a charter of negative liberties. Says what the states can’t do to you. Says what the Federal government can’t do to you, but doesn’t say what the Federal government or State government must do on your behalf. And that hasn’t shifted. And one of the, I think, tragedies of the civil rights movement was because the civil rights movement became so court-focused I think there was a tendency to lose track of the political and community organizing and activities on the ground that are able to put together the actual coalition of powers through which you bring about redistributive change. In some ways we still suffer from that.
Such elegant didactics! We can’t wait until Ed & Co. release the second part of the audio, wherein Comrade Obama turns the above on its head and reveals his plot to overthrow our Capitalist overlords!
*Redeemable vodka ration chits now to be making available at People’s Distillery Nos. 1-8 and 10 in your Soviet. Distillery No. 9 chit will to proceed glorious manufacure pending announcement of Central Revolutionary Worker’s Committee.
Update: OMFG, it gets waaaay better, courtesy of Crystal Clear Conservative. Earlier in the audio, from a radio interview in Chicago, Obama discusses ‘an enormous blind spot,’ a ‘fundamental flaw’ in the Constitution. It’s perfectly clear that he’s talking about the legitimization of chattel slavery in the three-fifths clause:
I think [the Constitution is] a remarkable document…
The original Constitution as well as the Civil War Amendments … but I think it is an imperfect document, and I think it is a document that reflects some deep flaws in American culture, the Colonial culture nascent at that time.
African-Americans were not — first of all they weren’t African-Americans — the Africans at the time were not considered as part of the polity that was of concern to the Framers. I think that as Richard said it was a ‘nagging problem’ in the same way that these days we might think of environmental issues, or some other problem where you have to balance cost-benefits, as opposed to seeing it as a moral problem involving persons of moral worth.
And in that sense, I think we can say that the Constitution reflected an enormous blind spot in this culture that carries on until this day, and that the Framers had that same blind spot. I don’t think the two views are contradictory, to say that it was a remarkable political document that paved the way for where we are now, and to say that it also reflected the fundamental flaw of this country that continues to this day.
The sentence, ‘Africans at the time were not considered as part of the polity that was of concern to the Framers’, may be about the most polite and banal description of legalized fucking slavery(!) ever uttered by one of its opponents. But not to the tender ears of Crystal Clear Conservative, for whom ‘Obama demagogues race’:
To illustrate what he perceives as the Country and its Constitution’s flaw, Obama demagogues race. It is ironic that someone who claims to be a great unifier is so obsessed with our divisions. Here it is race, which can be taken alongside gender and class demagoguery. For a person basing his campaign on change we need to unite the United States, how does he propose to do this while dividing us on race, class and gender? What exactly is this so-called fundamental flaw of the United States that is reflected by the Constitution?
What indeed? Just a wild guess, but perhaps it’s Article 1, Section 2, Paragraph 3:
Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.
Crystal Clear Conservative does not agree, positing — stunningly — that Obama’s disdain for the original, since amended, Constitutional right to own human beings as personal property precludes him from assuming the presidency … because that would mean he’s unwilling to uphold the Constitution!
While the founders crafted a Consitution which enshrined personal property rights, Obama perceives a flaw that may be corrected by removing this protection in order to bring about redistributive change. This is contrary to the founding the United States and given this, Barack Obama does not intend to uphold the Consitution of the United States, and is therefore unfit to take the Oath of Office of the Presidency of the United States.
Again, I am simply stunned. And to put it into broader perspective, I heard radio slug Laura Ingraham railing on this ‘fundamental flaw’ quote earlier this evening, totally out of context. At the time, I guessed that Obama was probably referring to the three-fifths clause, but Ingraham didn’t provide the full quote.
This is just beyond stupid, beyond mockery, beyond sanity even. That, in the 21st century, saying in the most tepid and academic terms that you are against human slavery could be considered in any way ‘controversial’ by anyone, let alone a significant section of our population, is just … gah.
Marshall Law?
Wasn’t that the guy from Tekken?
I think he means the Martial Plan.
Which line is the one for redistribution again?
Martian Law
Also, note how not one wingnut has guessed that Obama’s reference to a ‘fundamental flaw’ in the Constitution and of the Framers might be contained in Article 1, Section 2, Paragraph 3:
‘Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.’
Karl Marx is the founder of communism, not socialism.
Nicely done Leon Trotsky EiM.
I mean, nothing says OMFG COMMIE like a combination history/civics lesson.
I saw a reference to a “Oh he’s fucked now, I knew he was a commie all along, its over for Obama” bombshell proof in the rarely political forums for a plastic instrument game. I didn’t bother following up on it.
(random factoid: Rockband ‘head dude’ Alex Rigopulos is an Obama contributor)
Expectations were understandably low, but if this was what all the kafuffle was about I’m still disappointed.
Too many big words, well fit together, without pauses or ‘uh’s equals elitist-commie-faggism to those who would tout this as proof of some super-duper Marxist plot.
So I’m waiting for a supply of Victory Gin according to my needs, which are considerable.
I’m pretty sure this will story will have serious traction with voters.
Marshall Law??
I believe Marshall Law was an Aussie Drama starring the lovely Lisa McCune
I’m pretty sure this will story will have serious traction with voters
or, “…this pill story,,,”
This gin‘s for you, Smut.
Marshall Law?
Research, people, google is your friend-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marshall_Law
so now we’ve finally learned the wingnuts’ fundamental flaw. They can’t read. Does make me wonder how they can blog, though.
Damn you Twisted_Colour
seriously I cannot get over how they literally cannot read and comprehend. I know Obama was using some big words and talking about some abstract concepts, so it was likely high school reading level, but honestly….
She’s a “bit of a conspiracy nut” who wears a tin foil hat only when the green people talk to her? Where’s the logical thinker?
Now that-
http://www.portalmix.com/webs/tatuajes/bodypainting/fotos/Lisa_McCune_02.jpg
-is a change we can believe in!
Y’see, this is why the US so badly needs a comprehensive health care system: with good health care, these people would get the care they need, and would be kept off the streets so they couldn’t injure others.
Jeebus Christ on a moped, these fuckers are weird.
Where were the conservative patriots when…
Personally, I can’t wait to sing patriotic songs about the motherland with my comrades, to join a collective and work by the sweat of my brow for the glory of the state, to fight the class conflict and to see to it that capitalists spend their last days within the confines of the gulag. Of course, we’ll give our wingnut brothers and sisters the choice of going to a re-education camp instead, but they are such reactionary running dogs that most of them will end up in show trials and then finally serve a useful purpose by giving our soldiers a chance for some real target practice. Let’s those of us in the prolotariat link arms with the world-wide Communist movement for the eternal honor we will bring all nations by crushing the imperialists wherever we find them. Onward, in the shadow of Comrade Obama and the People’s 4th Armored Tank Division!! Just 7 more days and we will overthrow the bourgeoise and establish common ownership of the means of production!!
Yeah, the conservatives are going to murder us on this one. Now everyone will know that it’s John McCain who supports the real Constitution – without those pandering abolition-pimp amendments.
I’ve always sort of suspected that ‘the Real America’ refers to the parts of the country where the Emancipation Proclamation was faggy Starbucks elitism, but it’s nice to have it confirmed.
A release of the final, approved DSM-V is expected in May 2012.
On the other hand, Baskin-Robbins, now People’s Ice Cream, now has only one flavor, Red Raspberry, and we are out of that too, little comrade, ha ha!
Now that-
http://www.portalmix.com/webs/tatuajes/bodypainting/fotos/Lisa_McCune_02.jpg
-is a change we can believe in!
Body-painting is for people who can’t use photoshop.
I want to see this in bodypaint.
Damn. You guys mined Marshall Law for all it was worth.
Wait … “Verity and Ros”? Aren’t they the Aussie “Hannity and Colmes”?
Fuck that three-fifths compromise bullcrap; wait until you hear about how much B. Insane Osama bin Stalin hates the 18th Amendmant. Is there no low two which he won’t sink?
So, let me just get this straight. In 2008, A.D. (none of this newfangled C.E. bullshit for me), these shriveled bits of soulless dross are actually arguing, openly, that A) the “personal property rights” enshrined in the Constitution apply quite specifically to the more melanin enhanced members of the human race and the “right” to own them, and B) any notion that some fuckdiddly thing like an Amendment might be able to “correct” the Constitution and “redistribute” that ownership to, y’know, the person in question is simply absurd and supporting said notion makes one unfit to hold office. The reasoning for this is, of course, the ever well thought out SHUT UP, THAT’S WHY! AND KEEP YOUR NIGGER PAWS OFF OUR GUNS, CUZ THE 2ND AMENDMENT’S DIFFERENT!
Just making sure that I’m getting this right, before I decide whether to go puke up my toenails or laugh until I can’t see.
Fucking amazing.
Y’all think this could be her in the background?
via wonkette via teh GOS
Not to go completely OT, but:
Jesus, imagine having a President who actually talks like this.
John McCain’s cellphone?
Give me a week.
This is contrary to the founding the United States and given this, Barack Obama does not intend to uphold the Consitution of the United States
Does this work as a general principle? I mean, if a president (or candidate) begins by promising to uphold your Constitution, but then decides that he doesn’t like it after all in its current form and starts promoting an amendment required to improve it, does that place him in breach of his oath? Or is he merely a classic early-adopter who wants to install the patch that will upgrade to Constitution 3.11?
I’m sure this has happened before.
A release of the final, approved DSM-V is expected in May 2012.
I heard that it will be subtitled “Chinese Democracy” and will be complete shite.
I always thought that the fundamental flaw in the constitution was its failure to establish corporations, and regard them as persons, so that they could also have property rights. Fortunately, this flaw was corrected by the courts about 130 years ago in order to allow for the redistribution of huge wealth to stockholders without any corresponding liability. This is how Enron was able to loot the California utility system, for instance. That pesky stuff about slavery is just a way of denigrating our founding fathers who were patriotic christian veterans, exceptfor the ones who weren’t.
Body-painting is for people who can’t use photoshop.
I want to see this in bodypaint.
Something seriously wrong with you, SmutClyde.
No no, it’s marital law. They’re going to force us to gay marry!
There’s really nothing illogical or nonsensical about white racists wanting to retain anything that helps justify their power, real or perceived, actual or mythical. In that sense, these people are acting completely rationally. And yes, it’s the “r” word again. Go figure.
As I’ve been blithely telling the asshats around me just to see them squirm, “I welcome our new black overlords.”
They think I’m nuts.
Hilarious.
Let’s face it, we can all get carried away and say stupid things out of fear of the unknown. I mean, when Bush got in power, the left was going crazy saying we’d be subjected to eight years of Orwellian wars-without-end, rampant corruption and environmental destruction, alarming clampdowns on civil liberties, secret prisons, torture, McCarthyist paranoia, naked racism in the streets and media, and …
Oh, wait…
Not quite:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marshal_Law
Definitely worth a look – one of the sickest satires of the superhero phenomenon, and by extension the American mindstate, you’re likely to read.
Heroes, it ain’t.
(‘Not quite’ was a response to Athenawise, Damn. You guys mined Marshall Law for all it was worth. )
The ‘Kiloton’ character had all the best lines.
The ‘Kiloton’ character had all the best lines.
I liked that line by the Private Eye, the Batman parody who was harvesting the organs of his “wards” to extend his life:
“For I have the heart of a young boy again. And his lungs. And his liver. And his pineal gland. (Thanks, Tom.)”
Marshall Law–where every kid MUST rock a JCM 800.
Jesus, imagine having a President who actually talks like this.
I have got to say, I swoon whenever I hear Obama start talking all lawyery. It’s something about intelligent thought clearly communicated. *sigh* My God, the man thinks about things. Be still, my heart.
I went to high school with a guy named Marshall Law…
Jesus, imagine having a President who actually talks like this.
Even better, he didn’t have somebody else write it for him!
Shorter fReichtard Blaghers: HE’S A NEEEGROOOW!!
Can we make it through the next week without some dick yanker claiming Obama will also redistribute our wimmin?
I’m still stuck on the prospect of a president who can get through a five word sentence without three major mishaps.
As my friend Tom put it: “These People are adrenalin junkies hooked on telling each other scary stories around their campfire.”
Hey, liberals! Shut up, will ya? I’m not putting MY FAMILY at risk because of some utopian leftwing scheme to redistribute wealth and destroy USA to empower the Blacks, I’m for McCain and Palin!
I call “too early for parody trolls”!
Based on the quality of their “thoughts” I’d say the fire is fueled by big Cheetos bags and 2 lt bottles of Mountain Dew.
I don’t know why liberals are so shocked that Republicans are ambivalent about the end of legalized slavery.
Southi’s gonna do it agin !!!
Why do you make every thread about me, you pathetic little wankers! I know you are talking about me. Just because I didn’t read a thing that wasn’t written doesn’t mean someone didn’t write it and then hit cancel. I has a law degree you know. Can I get an insta-link now?
The tears and desperation of the right wing as they turn to their last Red Scare tactics lifted straight from 1917 only sustain me. I grow stronger and happier as they lose more and more grasp on power.
Also, I’m not sure the right wing isn’t aware that by charging the Democratic Presidential candidate with being too in favor of big government, higher taxes, and socialism, they are in fact normalizing him — after all, the right wing is used to hearing that Democratic candidates are socialist and what not. Their previous charge was that Obama was scary radical Muslim black nationalist terrorist.
Compared to that, people can live with ‘socialist’.
Wow, stupid, reactionary people write stupid and reactionary things for their stupid and reactionary audiences! I guess I hadn’t quite gotten the message from the previous 4,578 forgettable posts…
The beauty of the wingnut freak-out over Obama’s stealth agenda is that if Sen. Clinton were the nominee, she’d be the crypto-socialist. The arguments and the outrage are both portable and malleable.
“Where were the conservative patriots when…”
Watching shit blow up on the tee vee and barking with approval, while assuring each other as to how heroic they were?
Utopian, nothing. At this point the aim is averting dystopia. I mean, if you’re particularly happy about your kids turning tricks in Guangzhong, be my guest, but the rest of us know we can’t afford another angry white man entitling his way into the Presidency and funnelling our fucking tax dollars into offshoring fat-cats.
Help me out here: redistributing my wealth to health insurance companies and suspending my civil liberties; that’s all okay when rich, white, Republicans do it?
I mean, they have the experience.
Not at all. Anti-psychotic drugs are ineffective against deep-seated delusions.
[…] 28, 2008 Posted by casualt in No-Cat. trackback Or, words begin to fail when trying to describe the silliness that right-wingers have descended into: This is just beyond stupid, beyond mockery, beyond sanity even. That, in the 21st century, saying […]
Is almost time for step two of Glorious Five-Year Plan for destroy America (which means Obamovitch gets extra year of President)! I can not stop from writing in bad-movie Russian accent.
Have successfully held patriotic 100% American pundits up to obloquy – check!
Get people’s minds off their government by focusing their attention on athletics, sexy books, plays and immoral movies – checkski! (oh wait, Fox does that)
Divide the people into hostile groups by constantly harping on controversial matters of no importance – Czech! Aw, no…
I think I’m outta my league here, even in the Young Communist League.
Ratski.
[Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this]
Aw, twoofie, when will you learn that you can’t trust Karl Rove’s post-sex bed talk?
Hey, I got no problem with this — if somehow America decides it wants McPalin, then they can god d*** have ’em, and I know that they soberly and in full capacity decided they were just tired of this whole “USA” thing and felt it was time to flush it down the sh*tter and be 1970s Brazil instead.
If that’s what they want, that’s what they want. And then as they moan and groan about things getting sh*ttier and the new wars & what not, I’m just going to laugh, and say a hearty “Oh yeah? F*** you!” to each and every fellow citizen who complains.
They can’t read. Does make me wonder how they can blog, though.
On a Windows box, it’s Ctrl-C Ctrl-V. I doubt rightie bloggers use Linux, on account of it’s too geeky; nor Macs, on account of they’re too faggy.
After reading the transcript of that tape, I, too, have reached one inescapable conclusion:
Obama is building a secret army of kittens.
Literacy is so web 1.0.
Obama is building a secret army of kittens.
The pussy.
KDE at least handles ctrl+c/ctrl+v as expected, n00b.
Or is he merely a classic early-adopter who wants to install the patch that will upgrade to Constitution 3.11?
And the wingnuts are busy reminiscing about the good old days when The Constitution didn’t come bundled with ads.
Barack Obama complains that the Constitution is a “charter of negative liberties”.
Well excuse me, Mr. Ungrateful, but what is so NEGATIVE about liberties?
I think the giveaway in the Obama audio is when he says “get Moose and Squirrel.”
In defense of illiteracy, might I say that I manage to keep decently well-informed without holding a paper in front of me particularly regularly. Mind you, I’m a dab hand at literature – the prevailing consensus that literary analysis is indistinguishable bunk weirds me out in the same way my strong low-frequency hearing acuity leads me to be weirded out by you people not hearing CRTs buzzing – but I’ve got fairly severe OCD, a short attention span, and shitty joints. I don’t suspect I’ll ever be comfortable reading words on paper for long periods of time, and I’ve very rarely been in a position in which I felt compelled to do so. (Generally, this happens when a book is very good or a newspaper has paid me to write something for them.)
Long story short, I think we’re heading into an era where books and other traditional forms of verbal culture are going to be relatively obsolete. I think the best defense from what this could involve is making sure that it’s possible to remain literate without chaining literacy to hot metal. I had the distinct advantage of being a teenager before I had anything serious to do with the Internet: how do you teach art to people brought up in chatspeak?
Oh yeah, Troof. Feel the McMentum!
NC, sure, I can see. It’s a virtual tie.
VA? Where the figures have McCain pushing a 10-point deficit? Good luck with that, especially since McCain’s campaign seems full on for insulting the growing part of the state.
I think Florida will go red. Many of us do. Big shock.
Ohio? Sure. Colorado? Where McCain has abandoned the fight? No. Pennsylvania? Good luck with that…you might attempt to get under double digits on a regular basis there first before talking a little smickety-smack.
Hey, whatever happened to you proclaiming McCain victory in Wisconsin and Minnesota, using transparent concern troll BS editorial sludge to prove your point? I thought TEH BRADLEY!!!!! would assure McMentum in Michigan! What happened, Troofie?
Here’s the math, sucka: All Obama has to do is win Kerry’s states (which he is) plus Iowa (which he is), New Mexico (which he is), and Colorado (which he is). That’s it. That’s all he has to do.
It’s not even required that he win Virginia (which he is), Ohio (which he is), Florida (tied), North Carolina (tied), Nevada (tied), Missouri (tied) freaking Indiana (tied), freaking North Dakota, Montana…
Yeah, Troof, McCain’s gonna roll.
I see two options:
1) You have a time machine.
2) You apparently think getting us to doubt our really, really, really good chances will actually work. Well, look at the early voting, you schmuck. Yeah, you’ve really scared us away.
As a postscript to this even-more-than-usual slate of Truth-brand Epic Fail, I’ll just randomly note that one of the big independent voices against the Duke Rape Hoax was one KC Johnson…who is an Obama supporter. There goes that talking point.
I do hope that Marshall Law refers to Marshall from How I Met Your Mother. He loves pancakes, and that’s good enough for me.
And now, for something completely different:
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/276707.php
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/276719.php
Over at Pammys website, I was amusing myself (I do it with intellectual wanking now) by reading her enormous screed on the MA88lVE C0N&P1RACY that Obama is leading. This line jumped out of the mess:
“Barack Hussein Obama Sr’s trip to Honolulu in Dec 1971 was bracketed by two trips that Obama’s old snack bar friends from the University of Hawaii made to see him in Kenya.”
Old Snack Bar Friends is a delightful construction.
Now we see the value of nutjob blogs like hers. As far as I can determine, this might be the ONLY thing it is valuable for.
Names for bands.
If I ever get around to starting that punk-folk-country-polka hybrid band I’ve been planning for years, I’m going to call it “Obama’s Old Snack Bar Friends”
Or just OOSBF for short.
And FWIW, it’ll go down like this:
Obama wins Kerry’s states, plus Iowa, New Mexico, Colorado, and Virginia. Then he springs close upsets in North Carolina and Nevada. Ohio/Florida are oh-so-close yet again but fall for McCain. Missouri/ND/Montana don’t end up panning out. (I’m really being generous here, honestly.)
The Truth starts the night here. When it becomes increasingly obvious that McCain won’t pull this one out, Troof will change the subject all over the place- touching the Jena 6, Ted Kennedy, Robert Byrd, Michelle Obama’s transcripts, whatever else. He’ll proclaim some sort of victory because, um, well…he told us good or whatever. Then he’ll bolt midway through the night, only randomly to return about once a month to say how right he was about how Obama’s radical racialism would have the light shone upon it and blah blah. He’ll spent the rest of his time giggling with Bob Owens about how oh so right they are about everything.
Booger will flee back to Ace O. Spades’ pudgy embrace. He’ll make an occasional appearance to link to the HQ, showing us how some issue that nobody GAS about will sink Obama’s presidency.
Coach Urban Meyer will still serve up the SPREAD of TRUTH. At least that troll has balls.
> I do hope that Marshall Law refers to Marshall from How I Met Your Mother. He loves pancakes, and that’s good enough for me.
I take it to mean you have to go shopping at Marshalls.
ESPECIALLY if there has just been an attack! As we all know, Sainted President Boosh (teh bestest of all times) said that we needed to help America post-911 by shopping.
wars become Marshall Law here in America with boots on our streets
No doubt this sale will be followed by Shania law, in which WalMart will mark down the CDs of a really crappy faux-country singer.
Curious, isn’t it?
I mean, candidate Obama’s supporters and proxies are engaged in the exact types of speech-chilling tactics you’ve accused the Bush Admin. of for the last eight years, yet no one, and I mean NO ONE, has ever “investigated” Brad, Gavin, Hamsher, Huffington, Markos, Atrios, et al.
It’s almost as if the “Constitution-shreddin’, speech-stompin’, debate-chillin’ Bush gang” was really a figment of your imaginations.
Yet, here we have Obama’s sycophants doing it for real and you refuse to acknowledge it. Wait until that same chill wind hits Kos or HuffPo; then you’ll be singing a different tune.
And, no, you will not find examples of McCain supporters engaged in the same tactics (investigating private citizens like Wurzelbacher or Barbara West) so don’t even try.
> only randomly to return about once a month to say how right he was about how Obama’s radical racialism would have the light shone upon it and blah blah.
Nope. He’ll be here EVERY DAY to remind us that Obama hasn’t fixed the economy yet.
And that Obama hasn’t revoked all those super-special powers that chimpy gave himself, but that are oh-so-dangerous in the hands of a Democrat.
I mean, candidate Obama’s supporters and proxies are engaged in the exact types of speech-chilling tactics you’ve accused the Bush Admin. of for the last eight years
Hmm, candidate Obama’s supporters vs. a sitting Bush administration. You am good not at equivalences.
In Soviet America, vodka redistributes you!
or sumpin…
> I mean, candidate Obama’s supporters and proxies are engaged in the exact types of speech-chilling tactics you’ve accused the Bush Admin. of for the last eight years, yet no one, and I mean NO ONE, has ever “investigated” Brad, Gavin, Hamsher, Huffington, Markos, Atrios, et al.
Are you talking about how most of those blogs don’t ban most conservative commenters, but that conservative blogs ban you the second you say anything to the left of Genghis Khan?
(investigating private citizens like Wurzelbacher or Barbara West)
Ooo! Who’s investigating Barbara West? I’m interested as that train-wreck interview of Biden was hilarious.
No no, it’s marital law. They’re going to force us to gay marry!
Was für ein lustiger Streich!
> And, no, you will not find examples of McCain supporters engaged in the same tactics (investigating private citizens like Wurzelbacher or Barbara West) so don’t even try.
Does the qualifier “private” somehow change what Stalkin’ Malkin earned her nickname for?
Booger-
Whine-1-1 has been called. Whaaaaambulance is on its way.
A) the “personal property rights” enshrined in the Constitution apply quite specifically to the more melanin enhanced members of the human race and the “right” to own them, and B) any notion that some fuckdiddly thing like an Amendment might be able to “correct” the Constitution and “redistribute” that ownership to, y’know, the person in question is simply absurd and supporting said notion makes one unfit to hold office
Abe Lincoln was a Marxist before Marxism was cool.
KDE at least handles ctrl+c/ctrl+v as expected, n00b.
I know that, but the fRightards don’t.
I have teh geek cred – I was able to spot the inaccuracies and anachronisms in last night’s episode of “Chuck” without having to look them up.
Marshall Mathers Law?
Oh! I didn’t know Laura Ingraham objected to Obama’s remarks. I mean she is a well known and respected Constitutional scholar who has written numerous books on the topic. Her last great legal review — “”Shut Up and Sing!” — was a brilliant rebuke of free speech for, ya’ know’ actors and entertainers.
Didn’t Laura a couple of decades ago answer phones and type memos out of Clarence Thomas’ office.
Because of these stellar qualifications alone, I might have to rethink my position on this.
Fuck all. Here I thought a good socialist like Obama was gonna give me slaves – these rightwing fucknozzles want me to BUY them?
And I look forward to more of Coach’s WIDE STANCE of TRUTH.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but this comment thread is full of wins.
Adil: How can you defend a country where five percent of the people control ninety-five percent of the wealth?
Lisa: I’m defending a country where people can think and act and worship any way they want.
Adil: Cannot!
Lisa: Can too!
Adil: Cannot!
Lisa: Can too!
Homer: Please, please, kids, stop fighting. Maybe Lisa’s right about America being the land of opportunity, and maybe Adil’s got a point about the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers.
wars become Marshall Law here in America with boots on our streets
We’ll be forced to wear boots? Can mine be Fluevogs?
This must be the new approved talking point – Doughy Pantload took it up in the LAT:
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-goldberg28-2008oct28,0,1793687.column
…Y’all willl note that Hoer Simpson is markedly brighter than the average wingnut these days.
Oh, Pantload.
Um.
What?
Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.
this will be the title of the first Sadly, No post of November 5th.
Shorter Wingnuts: Obama’s gonna take away our slaves and give them to lazy welfare mothers!
I suppose Monsieur Goldberg, Wingnutistan’s most prominent self-made man, would know all about dressing up threadbare third-hand pabulum as radical and trenchant.
I would give his arguments credit on the basis of this if I were convinced he was talking about Obama and not, say, Tiger Woods. Because telling one black celebrity from another is at least somewhat more strenuous than finding your own ass with both hands and a sherpa.
Just remember, folks: Even after all that’s happened, 22-23% still approve of the job that Bush has done.
These same folks would look the other way if all the news networks had a live recording of Bush performing fellatio on a dead goat with Mickey Kaus in broad daylight on the White House lawn. It’s not surprising that will find a way to blame a Tekken character (FWIW, I prefer Hwoarang.) for something Obama didn’t even say while their standard-bearer and his cronies have spent the past eight years treating the constitution and the Rule of Law like a piece of toilet paper. Not even good toilet paper, but that one-ply tissue you find in most public restrooms. Can’t say I didn’t see this coming, that once Obama takes office, the Republicans will suddenly rediscover their respect for piddly little things like human rights and the Rule of Law that didn’t seem all that important before.
I’m running out of extended metaphors here. How do you Sadly-nauts keep finding them?
I thought that Marshall Law was too ham-fisted to work as decent satire, but “Nuke Me Slowly” (on the shirt of the leader of Gang Green) always made me laugh.
You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.
You work for Diebold?
MrSparkle: See also The Crazification Factor.
There is no law. There is only Metal Wolf.
MrSparkle – the wingnut ‘impeachment meme’ is just days away … I wouldn’t be surprised to find it started before the actual election, actually.
I don’t see why he’d bother when a quick name change and a new story line would work just as well.
Point of order: any “geek cred” gained from being able to spot said inaccuracies/anachronisms were simultaneously obliterated by the mere fact of watching “Chuck.”
Just remember, folks: Even after all that’s happened, 22-23% still approve of the job that Bush has done.
And worse than that, a fair chunk of those who disapprove of it do so because they think he isn’t wingnutty enough.
Point of order: any “geek cred” gained from being able to spot said inaccuracies/anachronisms were simultaneously obliterated by the mere fact of watching “Chuck.”
Heh. I only watch it because my wife’s a fan. No, really.
MrSparkle – the wingnut ‘impeachment meme’ is just days away … I wouldn’t be surprised to find it started before the actual election, actually.
I think it did already, D. I seem to remember seeing the phrase “draw up impeachement papers” associated with the birth certificate kerfluffle.
Oh, this is delightful. Mark Hemingway on NRO:
“Lest you wait for the media to give you the impression that this McCain-Palin rally was just another hate-fest, NRO was there to show you what it was really like.”
And then, right below that sentence–right below it!–is a picture of a sign that says the following:
“To Obama and Democrat fools: You might steal this election, but over my dead body will you steal my freedom, my religion, my money, or my guns! We do not need more taxes, more government, and welfare bums!”
I suppose he’s technically right. It wasn’t *just* a hate-fest, since not everyone was displaying such a sign. It was a hate-fest *and* a gathering of fools!
No one could have foreseen the infiltration of our law schools by sleeper cells of brown-skinned islamocommunist professors, rewriting our Constitution to eliminate all traces of Ronald Raygun, Ayn Rand and the other Founding Fathers.
Nice find, TC. Truly in denial. BTW, you know on Maher how he’s listing countries that Obama supporters could go run off to if McCain wins? Obviously that’s looking less likely by the day, so does anyone have any ideas about what would be the perfect countries for wingnuts to flee to after Obama landslides to victory?
PS: South Africa in the 1970s is out because we cannot confirm that wingnuts have actual, rather than imaginary, time machines.
Iran.
Keep clapping, Troof. I’m sure McTinklecain will wake from his slumber.
Fuck, TC … that Hemingway spew could well be the lamest slide show on an Internets full of lame slide shows. Crappy, crappy photos – check. Retarded captions – check. Spread over several pages to boost page view numbers – check.
MrSparkle – the wingnut ‘impeachment meme’ is just days away … I wouldn’t be surprised to find it started before the actual election, actually.
Sagra’s right, that train’s done left the station, more than once even.
I don’t think that’s a mandate. And if it’s growing, McCain needs to get it looked at by an oncologist, pronto.
Ding dong dilly, libs! Looks like you loony lefties are thinking that the Obummer has this one in the bad…but us McCaniacs know better! If you just look at the IBD polls and the Bradley Thing then you’ll see that the tide is turning for Johnny Mac and Super Sarah, the Power Palin! I can’t wait for next week!
But because some of my fellow True Americans are hopping off the McCain Train, I’ve developed a three-step plan that ensures not just victory, but a Maverick Mandate! Peep this, loony libs:
1) We must focus on Rev. Wacky Wright! His values are at odds with America, and he hates this country just like the Obummer. Once people realize this they’ll become McCaniacs, instantly!
2) We must destroy socialism! Obummer wants to raise taxes on everyone, even Joltin’ Joe the Power Plumber, even though he just wants to start his own business, so they tell me. Once people realize this they’ll become McCaniacs, instantly!
3) We must fight against ACORN’s looney tunes policies! They want to keep people like the Power Plumber and me, the Cool Coach, from voting. They must be stopped! Once people realize this they’ll become McCaniacs, instantly!
Badoodle-boo-yeah, libs! You just got served a SPREAD of VICTORY! Urban out.
Fuck, TC … that Hemingway spew could well be the lamest slide show on an Internets full of lame slide shows. Crappy, crappy photos – check.
I know. He has, what, three or four crowd shots taken from the middle distance? The best part is that he acknowledges the lameness in the captions. “You can’t see anything here…and this is kind of lame too…so yeah, can I have my paycheck now?”
I’m just surprised that one of his chins didn’t manage to sneak into the shot somehow.
We should really take note of the first call for impeachment. You know, for prosterity and all.
Obama prefers the word “progressive” to “liberal” because it makes it sound like he’s shedding old liberal ideas.
The last president who called himself ‘progressive’ was Theodore fucking Roosevelt!
See? I was right, dammit!
I was right! (slams shoe on table)
From the Hemingway bit:
Yeah, great chant. Isn’t “bless your heart” Polite Southernese for “fuck you”?
a Maverick Mandate!
Dreamy!
Any conservative now whining about threats to the constitution after eight years of Bush and Cheney using it as lavatory paper can please sit down and enjoy a rich, frothy mug of Shut the Fuck Up.
Hopefully we can just sterilize all of the Conservatives/Republicans/Libertarians and put them in a concentration camp.
I take it the news that Palin made fun of autism research hasn’t yet reached Wingnutland.
Then again, she’s Awesome And Everyone Likes Her (still, we swear!), and we should only help special-needs children up to the point where…ew…science takes over.
Note to trolls: You might be thinking that, as you’ve been constantly threatening to come to this site and gloat if McCain wins, it’s only fair that you should also come here to take your licks if Obama wins.
Please don’t bother. Just fuck off and never come back. I don’t think anyone here cares enough about you even to want to say “I told you so”.
(Translation for the Coach: Don’t bizzother cizzomin’ back up in this her mothasharillazazzizzle, yo? Wiggedy wiggedy white boyz in da house!)
Jeez, I hope they don’t outlaw slavery. I don’t want to lose my job!
Isn’t “bless your heart” Polite Southernese for “fuck you”?
Not exactly. It’s more like a bit a sugar to go with the insult, er, um,medicine. “I know you’re a crack whore, baby, but you’re trying to get better, bless your heart”.
More typically used in the third person: “Did you see that dress she was wearing? Bless her heart”.
It’s make it appear that you are concerned instead of catty, and as a result baby Jeesus won’t have to cry over your mean spiritedness.
What is with all of the creepy chants and call-and-response routines in this election? “Drill, baby, drill,” both parties’ “USA! USA!” chants, the “that’s more of the same” bit from Biden’s speech… and now this?
It’s nauseous.
Well, it’s how one refers to a person with their wrappings flapping.
“She means well, bless her heart, but she shouldn’t have married that convict pen pal as soon as he got out.”
Comrade Palin speaks: “…collectively Alaskans own the resources. So we share in the wealth when the development of these resources occurs.”
I take it the news that Palin made fun of autism research hasn’t yet reached Wingnutland.
Conveniently, Steve Benen just blogged about this very topic.
A real vote-grabber, that. In an atmosphere of heightened heathcare anxiety, promise to pound medical research into the ground.
Disclosure: I called for the pre-impeachment of Sarah Palin back in September on the grounds that she’s a major embarrassment. Looks like it won’t be necessary. The voters will take care of it.
Mooser, that was funny!
Fascists like a good chant. Keeps your duckspeak muscles doughty.
What’s with wingnuts’ recent insistence on saying how many people come to their rallies? Wow, a couple thousand heard Sarah Palin talk? And it was cloudy? Take that, Obama, and your 100,000-person crowds!
Did somebody say CROWD?!?
Well, a more fundamental question might be this: why in the hell would you respond to a depression by cutting spending? You can’t cut taxes without bottoming out America’s already dismal credit – and you don’t wanna see what happens when you go bankrupt during a recession – so you’ve got to either raise taxes, tarriffs, and other revenue measures where the multiplier effect is minimal and pour it into the economy where it’s strong. Social security’s a reasonable bet – rational retirees don’t save as much as other economic actors – and so are the kind of lower-class and small-scale-intellectual make-work the NRA (no, the one that didn’t openly flout its contempt for America and all it stands for) mostly existed to provide.
Roosevelt didn’t quite get us out of the recession, but his people were pre-Keynes. You don’t beat a recession by throwing money into the hands of people who are going to panic and either offshore it or put it into low-risk/low-return bonds. You need a robust multiplier to make what little money you’re gonna be able to scare up (and get used to that – refusing to levy any kind of tarriffs or excises is a luxury we can’t afford right now, what with the rich seeming to earnestly believe a final marginal tax rate of 50% would be confiscatory, let alone the between 70% and 90% that was seen as ideal before we went bug-fuck monetarist) go as far as it possibly can.
Say what you will about ‘earmarks’, but the scientists who receive grants to track bears spend those grants on domestic equipment, domestic pay databases, domestic motels and domestic vehicle rentals. You give it to Uncle Pennybags and he’s going to thank you from the bottom of his heart, cut your 2012 campaign a check, and then shove a significant percentage of the American economy into an Aruban bank.
At last is correct. I shall be dissolving parliament post haste.
Hey, hey, ho, ho, mindless chants have got to go!
Hey, hey, ho, ho, mindless chants have got to go!
Either raise taxes &c or start nationalizing profit-making industries, I mean.
Yeah, keep on insisting that raising the top marginal rate to 36% is socialism, you fucking jackasses; it’s going to leave the Portman Administration with little political choice except doing something genuinely frightening like nationalizing Google.
Fox News Website Headline Today:
Obama Affinity to Marxists Dates Back to College Days
Article written by Moonie and Bush biographer Bill Sammons is complete with large portrait of Karl Marx to accompany story.
At last is correct. I shall be dissolving parliament post haste.
The mastermind behind Obama’s stealth agenda reveals himself!
I shall be dissolving parliament post haste.
What’s a good solvent for parliament? Please insert one “we have a mole” joke here, too.
What’s a good solvent for parliament?
Funkadelic?
Henry Lewis, coming as it does from a Sadly, No! commenter, your praise is doubly pleasing to me. As a “mooselim” I say, Thank You.
I, for one, welcome our new rouge overlard.
A good solvent for dissolving Parliment? Why, vodka, of course, comrade!
It’s nice in its craven worthlessness, but to me the right-wing guilt-by-association smears will (hopefully) never top the suggestion a few cycles back that Obama had a gay affair with a radical pederast at a single-digit age. I mean, normally you’d think of that as child molestation and consider the faintest suggestion that the victim is to blame beyond appalling, but he had it coming, the awful dusky he-lolita.
True story: Djur and I have as our personal Jews-in-Space oversized project a full conversion mod of Fallout 2 set on the Gulf Coast, with giant sentient radioactive kudzu, a libertarian state summarily executing anyone who trades their ludicrously worthless gold dollars at the market rate, and the poor and isolated rural / urban black populations remaining more or less intact while white society goes to Hell as members of late-stage capitalism almost immediately after the Bomb start taking SMGs to each other over the last high-definition color TVs and Cheezy Poofs – this phenomenon ultimately resulting in a benevolent bubble-city-state in New Orleans run by Parliament – headed by a man two parts Huey Long and five parts George Clinton. If I had my druthers the Getuplican / Downocrat divide the Onion postulated would be inserted more or less intact.
Theme song the original version of When The Levee Breaks.
This has been another exciting installment of Useless White Boys with your host, Alexander ‘Lazy Suzan’ Kyras.
I take it the news that Palin made fun of autism research hasn’t yet reachedWingnutland.
Wrong, it’s been dealt with:
Memo to Palin: Fruit Fly Researchers Receive Nobel Prize for Medicine for Advancing the Understanding of Birth Defects in Humans
http://www.buzzflash.com/articles/contributors/1820
Oh, you said “Wingnutland”? Sorry, over there, they are still waiting for enough people to screw in the lightbulbs. They’ll need a big pile of corpses to reach the sockets.
Hey, don’t forget Logical Phil:
…Obama really is some sort of neo-Marxist, and that for about 20 years he’s been cooperating in a tight-knit Hyde Park collaborative including Bill Ayers, Bernadine Dohrn, and Rashid Khalidi, aimed at inserting their radical, anti-American point of view into American government and culture. The amount of effort he’s put into the attempt to hide this, the efforts to silence or discredit anyone who attempted to research it, and the embarrassingly transparent lies he’s told and continues to tell about these connections, merely emphasize how important he feels it is that we not look into it…
http://www.plumbbobblog.com/?p=1768
Why, vodka, of course, comrade!
Insert obligatory ‘In Russia, parliament dissolves you’ comment here.
LOL, Bush has been more of a socialist in the last month than Obama ever will be. Oh sweet, sweet irony.
Comment left @ crystalclearconservative’s blog:
“Messing around with the Constitution would be a sure-fire way for Obama to undermine his own brand-new mandate & his own party, for surely many in it would oppose the rancour & divisiveness of a constitutional amendment.
I know of no statement by him anywhere that suggests that he would venture into such treacherous territory – but you can rest assured that if he were to do so, America couldn’t wish for a better candidate for the task: he’s a former president of the Harvard Law Review & a magna cum laude grad with a well-earned reputation as a legal genius … although frankly, I think those stellar credentials are exactly why he won’t touch the idea of introducing any new amendments.
Your defense of legalized human slavery is both nauseating & absurd. Perhaps you should Google “The UN Charter Of Human Rights & Freedoms” sometime. I believe you’d find its contents highly educational.”
… & speaking of morons:
Patriot Act, Patriot Act 2, Military Commissions Act, Free-Speech Zones … your Dumbfuck-Olympics medal is in the mail, champ.
A Challenger Appears!
I used to almost feel sorry for you. Now I’m pretty sure you’re just a sadomasochistic fuckstick who gets off on his self-appointed role as Captain Buzzkill &/or being intellectually bitch-slapped.
Early voting mirrors election-day turnout – so it kind of looks like your goose is cooked. Having a VP who demoralizes your own party by going rogue isn’t exactly a winning strategy, especially when you’re down by double digits with a week to go. Oh, & this doesn’t help much, either.
Yeah, you’re basically fucked.
Becuse your every post is an insult to truth itself. Bias, cherry-picking, faulty logic & lies of omission galore – & you always conveniently vanish when someone pwns you on your weak bullshit, only to return on a new thread with shovel freshly reloaded, looking slightly more like a Special-Ed dropout every time.
But the beautiful irony is that bloviating bipedal dildoes like you are the best weapon Obama has, & you’re just too damn full of yourselves to realize what an awesome motivator you are – for Democatic voters.
6 days.
Hey, don’t forget Logical Phil:
…Obama really is some sort of neo-Marxist, and that for about 20 years he’s been cooperating in a tight-knit Hyde Park collaborative including Bill Ayers, Bernadine Dohrn, and Rashid Khalidi, aimed at inserting their radical, anti-American point of view into American government and culture. The amount of effort he’s put into the attempt to hide this, the efforts to silence or discredit anyone who attempted to research it, and the embarrassingly transparent lies he’s told and continues to tell about these connections, merely emphasize how important he feels it is that we not look into it….
http://www.plumbbobblog.com/?p=1768
Jews-in-Space! Jews in Space!!?!!
Now that’s Zionism I can believe in! Why haven’t I thought of that? No problems with Arabs, and … oh shit, wait a minute! Are we gonna need separate Meat and Dairy Space Stations? Or will it be a Reform Space Station.
What if their are aliens and the damn intermarriage problem starts up again? I’m not so sure about this. Got a link? I’d like to study further before I espouse.
Abe Lincoln was a Marxist before Marxism was cool
Everybody knows that Abe Lincoln was an Islamo-Fascist.
I don’t think Palin’s anti-science spewage will hurt her with her base. Sadly, the wingnut mind is wired as follows:
fruit fly research –> identifying genes that cause autism –> genetic testing –> OMG KILLING THE POOR BABIES!!
I think these wingnuts are lumping the Constitution in with the Bible and saying “It’s all true! Every word!” And as we know, if you disagree with that you are not a believer (in this case, a believer in America)
What’s a good solvent for parliament?
Chloroform. It melts plastic.
Everybody knows that Abe Lincoln was an Islamo-Fascist.
Marxist, Islamo-Fascist, Black-power Commie liberation theology atheist: I believe those all fit under the rubric of “distinction without a difference,” my friend.
With regard to Jews in Space, I am ever hopeful Mel Brooks will release his History of the World, Part II.
OT, but wow, Barack has 30 minutes to talk to Pennsylvania and Florida voters before game 5 of the Series tomorrow: http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/flyontnewall/2008/10/obama-hits-one-out-of-the-park.php
From each, according to their melanin; to each, according to their funk-soul-liciousness. White Males are the Jew of Barack Obama’s race-based redistribution schemes.
I think these wingnuts are lumping the Constitution in with the Bible and saying “It’s all true! Every word!” And as we know, if you disagree with that you are not a believer (in this case, a believer in America)
WCW – exactly, the Constitution is a second Holy Book to them, and they practice idolatry with regards to the Founding Fathers, as well. As per Ingraham, Obama’s dispute with a portion of the Constitution as originally written is simple blasphemy … it doesn’t matter that he is criticizing the enshrinement of legal slavery in the original document.
Glenn Reynolds has a new piece up that exhibits, in his much more passive-aggressive way, the same idolization of the Founders. In it, he complains that both presidential candidates are terribly inadequate — an ill-disguised version of the old Aesop fable in which Reynolds is the Fox and a McCain presidency, the Grapes — while pining for the great men of America’s heroic past … Washington, Jefferson, et. al.
Fucking libtards.
Don’t you realize that slavery in all its forms is as old as humanity?
Ever since Ogg first hit Blogg on the head with a stick so hard that Blogg would do whatever Ogg wanted for nothing we’ve had human bondage.
The bible itself makes perfectly clear that slavery is a-ok and even gives you helpful guidelines:
“However, you may purchase male or female slaves from among the foreigners who live among you. You may also purchase the children of such resident foreigners, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property, passing them on to your children as a permanent inheritance. You may treat your slaves like this, but the people of Israel, your relatives, must never be treated this way. (Leviticus 25:44-46 NLT)”
Let’s not forget sex slavery::
“When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again. But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her. And if the slave girl’s owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. If he himself marries her and then takes another wife, he may not reduce her food or clothing or fail to sleep with her as his wife. If he fails in any of these three ways, she may leave as a free woman without making any payment. (Exodus 21:7-11 NLT)”
And let you think this is all a just a bunch of old testament ooga-booga:
“Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. (Ephesians 6:5 NLT)”
“Christians who are slaves should give their masters full respect so that the name of God and his teaching will not be shamed. If your master is a Christian, that is no excuse for being disrespectful. You should work all the harder because you are helping another believer by your efforts. Teach these truths, Timothy, and encourage everyone to obey them. (1 Timothy 6:1-2 NLT)”
Even jeebus gets in on the act, saying “Beat those slaves! Beat those slaves!:”
“The servant will be severely punished, for though he knew his duty, he refused to do it. But people who are not aware that they are doing wrong will be punished only lightly. Much is required from those to whom much is given, and much more is required from those to whom much more is given.” (Luke 12:47-48 NLT)”
Although that last little bit makes me pretty nervous. It almost sounds like jeebus is saying that if you have more or much more you really should be helping others.
Fucking commie. You libtards, jeebus and Obama can all dance the Redistribution Jag together in hell.
Yes but…
That’s the great riddle/mystery/enigma turducken.
Why are they playing it this way? In 2008, pleasing the godbag base loses you votes.
Shorter RNC: In order to succeed, we must endeavor to lose.
Not that I mind.
Generally, when the news has been dire for McCain and not even a Hehindeedy shoutout to McArdle or Bumblin’ Bob Owens can mask this fact, Reynolds then pretends to play disinterested observer, always noting how badly both sides suck.
Nice try, Ole Perf.
The whole base-loves-Palin-but-loses-votes problem is solved simply by repeating over and over that conservatism hasn’t failed America, rather America has failed conservatism. If the wingers were only more wingerish, America would fall back in love.
Seriously.
Obviously that’s looking less likely by the day, so does anyone have any ideas about what would be the perfect countries for wingnuts to flee to after Obama landslides to victory?
Little to no taxes, little to no government services, plenty’o’weapons, no regulation, small government, all power at the local level, and religious fundamentalism everywhere?
Definitely Somalia.
Isn’t “bless your heart” Polite Southernese for “fuck you”?
I thought, “I’ll pray for you,” meant “fuck you.” “Bless your heart” is more like “you’re an idiot.”
Silence, underlings!
Commence the libations!
OT, but wow, Barack has 30 minutes to talk to Pennsylvania and Florida voters before game 5 of the Series tomorrow:
I actually think that this is a bad idea. He’s up in the polls. He doesn’t need to do this. He just risks pissing off swing voters by delaying the game/saying something stupid/whatever. I hope it doesn’t turn out that way, of course,
Why are they playing it this way? In 2008, pleasing the godbag base loses you votes.
It’s prep for 2012.
The current election will teach the Republicans a simple if unfortunate lesson: If you run with a “maverick” in an attempt to capture the center, you lose. If you run with a simpering cretin who appeals to the basest of your base, then you can win (even against someone like Gore, a VP coming off 8 years of relative peace and prosperity). Palin is a Republican in the Bush mold. It doesn’t matter what she knows or doesn’t know; it only matters how she acts. Four years from now, we’re going to see this:
Moderator: “President Obama, what’s your policy on X?”
Obama: [mostly eloquent and rousing answer]
Palin: “Talks a good game, doesn’t he?” *wink* *smirk* “But there he goes again with that socialism of his, and you know, I just don’t think that’s where we should go as a country….”
Obama can sit there and clearly explain that he’s not a socialist. Won’t matter. He’ll have to sit there and come up with some sort of snarky reply instead. Something like this:
“Well, I gotta tell you, I can’t quite believe what I’m hearing. The governor is from a place that has state-owned oil companies–state-owned, like in Russia! And if owning ’em wasn’t enough, she’s gone and raised taxes on businesses that drill up there! And she calls ME a socialist?”
I hate the fact that our politics are this dumb, but so it is.
I think Reynolds has just now discovered the founding fathers, after yesterday discovering that the constitution governs the united states government. I mean, who knew?
Also, my favorite southernism is “God bless ’em”, which generally mean you think they can rot in hell.
My favorite southernisms are “one-legged man in an asskicking contest;” and “hotter than a nun’s pussy on Good Friday.”
But I’ve always had a taste for the profane.
Don’t forget to throw out the parts of the bible that sound Marxist.
Liberals are gay.
Silence, underlings!
Commence the libations!</i?
Consider them commenced.
umm, you’re pretty magisterial for a PRESIDENT.
Palin : 2012 ::
Quayle : 2000
I think these wingnuts are lumping the Constitution in with the Bible and saying “It’s all true! Every word!” And as we know, if you disagree with that you are not a believer (in this case, a believer in America)
All the while displaying no sign that they’ve actually read either one.
those tags were CLOSED dammit.
Pinko, throw those italihomoterrorists in the Gulag!!
I was not aware that it was possible to talk about a Republican mandate without mentioning Jeff Guckert.
Correction – the Constitution is a ‘holy book’ and ‘literally true’ and et fucking cetera in exactly the way the Bible is – which is to say, except as much as it provides a good framework for their own extremely convoluted and almost completely unrelated fan-fiction, not at all.
This is crucial to understanding the evangelical right – and every subculture it spawned – and how it deals with reality and the truth. The actual document means nothing to them; it proves nothing that it says in the actual Bible that weaving fabrics together is an abomination, nor do they feel the Sermon on the Mount is even vaguely canonical. There’s no contradiction at work in being gung-ho about the second amendment and treating the first like an abomination – nor in being profoundly enthusiastic about the power of the government to legislate morality while completely infuriated at the judicial branch’s ability to do the same.
The actual constitution of the Constitution is no more important to right-wing evangelicals than the actual constitution of the Bible is. They’ve learned their entire lives to buy the fan-fiction, to buy the cultural ephemera, to seethe at failure to forcibly coerce children to say words that mean nothing to them and to make absolutely sure they’ve bound the djinn Jesus to their service with the proper incantation so they’ll be raptured without having to endure death.
They believe in what they’ve been told very literally. They believe it with a kind of intransigent extremeness that alarms fervent Christians and moralists outside of the United States. But it has nothing to do with any manifest code. The wingnut constitution is a gnostic document without form or letter, just like the wingnut Bible. And just as they watch angrily for any sign of sheep at their wolvish leaders’ insistence, they strangle the basic rights this country was built on to pursue the received faith.
That the Bible suggests the job of Christians is to be salt and light, to meekly endure oppression and convert their persecutors with kindness, is meaningless to them. They’ve never read it – get them to name five Commandments, four Apostles, three prophets. The text never enters the picture – and that has profound ramifications when you’ve got a major social movement bent on forcing a literal interpretation of our basic liberties through when it limits them and leaving those same liberties to the diktat of Beltway fashion should a direct reading expand them.
They believe their dogma fundamentally inviolable. To say they believe it’s literate would be wrong – because part of that dogma is that reading is a sin.
Guckert? Now there’s a mandate we can believe in.
umm, you’re pretty magisterial for a PRESIDENT.
It’s the big eyeball and the tophat, gives him delusions of grandeur.*
What?
*(or, cum magisterial… delusions of grader? I got nothing).
Rotten MacDonald is italicising the terrorists.
re. Palin winning or even having a shot in 2012: Don’t buy it. Bush is the same kind of prom queen asshole, but with one crucial difference – he doesn’t think he’s a flawless genius. He talks a big, vain game, but he’s had a respectable education and he’s been through moments of addictive weakness and pique, and it shows. The people closest to him are intelligent, savvy operators who aren’t afraid to knee him in the balls in private if they feel he needs it; Palin has had people essentially exiled from public life for going against her on anything, no matter how trivial.
Bullies are distressingly popular in America, and I don’t think her just being a mean jackass constantly pushing the lowest common denominator towards zero is enough to lose her an election. The problem is, there are lines you cannot cross and recover – and they’re not lines she’s capable of recognizing. She thinks Ayers is a good attack line because she’s a nasty bigot; she thinks she can garner the public’s sympathy by blaming her failures on other people. What it winds up doing is painting her as a desperate, self-obsessed loser.
More than anything, though, I think because of Palin’s complete inability to get objective underlings – the fact that, left to her own devices, she surrounds herself with worthless Miers/Brown/etc-style soft-soaping cronies – she’s going to shoot herself in the foot often and hard enough she won’t have a stump left to stand on by 2010, let alone 2012. She’s going to make openly racist remarks, her close supporters are going to applaud her for it, and anyone who dissents from the Oh Sarah It’s So Beautiful How You Pointed Out To The Rubes That The President Is A Porch Monkey consensus is gonna find themselves cast into the wasteland.
She won’t be able to shove the shit she’s going to pull down the memory hole; that she’s found McCain’s campaign’s image discipline stifling is telling, because it’s held her on a looser ideological leash than you could imagine. She’s going to attract crowds of racist losers, but she’s not going to win anything – because she lost big and visibly in 2008, because she’s a petty creature who makes herself look big by tyrannizing the weak and surrounding herself with pitiful, worthless toadies; she’s a loser, and all she can hope for is to be a big, slicked-up loser. And Americans hate losers.
She could hide that shit when she was running first a predominantly Republican town and then a predominantly Republican state – and she’s been basically the most viciously controversial public figure in Alaska’s recent history because of it – but you can’t bully three hundred million people by yourself. Her hubris brought her down before any of us even learned her name.
Rotten MacDonald is italicising the terrorists
Though not emboldened. Yet.
Pam Geller has delusions of Randeur.
Bold tags are above my pay grade.
FYWP. Also.
PENIS.
The Buttocks.
Does that cover it?
Plus, I’d like to see RB’s name generator work out Prom Queen Asshole…
Marshall law? Sounds pretty good to me.
Her hubris brought her down before any of us even learned her name.
Only the occasional flash of moonlight reflecting from the razor-sharp kukris clenched between their teeth betrayed the presence of the wily Hubris as they crept through the undergrowth on the trail of their erstwhile employer, now their prey…
How many motels?
Somalia, the Libertarian Paradise.
Damn recounts.
You gotta see this–the original Budweiser Whaazzzaaap! guys trash the current state of affairs:
Nice posts Alec. Well done.
The original Budweiser Whaaazzzzaaap! guys trash the current state of affairs:
Sarah Palin is the Clay Buchholz of politics.
Sorry about the double post–it didn’t look like it went through.
All I ever hear about is Marcia Law. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Law!
OWWWW BY DOZE
That’s harsh, Rightwingsnarkle. Very harsh indeed. And I, sir, am a Red Sox fan!
Like Sarah Barracuda would ever steal a load of laptop computers from her high school, or date a skanky-looking Penthouse pet!
Well, then again…
They meant the Marcial Brady law, which exempts cute and popular blonde girls from regular restrictions on buying handguns. They got confused because actually they’re in favor of it.
They meant the Marcial Brady law…
Oh… my nose!
Marshall Law? A fine Chicago law school.
And for the halibut, music of the post election apocalypse! I love the chant at the end.
Obama demagogues race
That gritting sound. It is my teeth.
Most wingnut Bibles stop at Leviticus and pick up again at Revelation.
“[let’s speculate on] perfect countries for wingnuts to flee to after Obama landslides to victory”
Duuuh!
Somalia, silly.
It’s the Libertarian Paradise!
Oh fine, justme. Fine.
*muttering* consarnfrigginfragginsupinbassitrigglerabble
That’s harsh, Rightwingsnarkle. Very harsh indeed. And I, sir, am a Red Sox fan!
Well, I hear ya, ‘cuz I really was at that no-hitter against the O’s last year. Quite a night.
The Minneapolis teleprompter speech was Caribou Barbie’s no-hitter. Soon, she’ll be heading back to the minors with a bad arm and no real prospects.
Obama demagogues race
It’s like a sac race, but with fewer Visigoths. Maybe like a Gracchi race?
Not that it makes her any less of an ignorant clown, but the earmark Palin was criticizing was for research on olive fruit flies (Bactrocera oleae). Theses little beasties are crop pests so the funding was for applied research to help protect agricultural products. Drosophilia melanogaster are the “fruit flies” that are studied for basic research which yields benefits in the areas of autism research, etc. Of course she doesn’t know the difference and if an earmark project for Drosophilia melanogaster research were known to Palin’s speechwriters I’m sure they would have had her slag that one off instead of or in addition to the one they were aware of. Leading to the same level of ignorant self beclownment. I get all pedantic on your asses because you’re among friends here and I would hate to see you corrected in a less nurturing environment.
It is whispered on many Conservative websites that Oblammo is planning on replacing the Constitution with the text of “Trout Fishing in America”…
The very concept of a ‘sac race’ is giving me phantom-testicle pain.
Exorcise your gubernaculum more
next time it will get less sore
BURMA SHAVE
After the uprising of the 17th June
The Secretary of the Writers Union
Had leaflets distributed in the Stalinallee
Stating that the people
Had forfeited the confidence of the government
And could win it back only
By redoubled efforts. Would it not be easier
In that case for the government
To dissolve the people
And elect another?
Lawnguylander said: Not that it makes her any less of an ignorant clown, but the earmark Palin was criticizing was for research on olive fruit flies (Bactrocera oleae)….Drosophilia melanogaster are the “fruit flies” that are studied for basic research which yields benefits in the areas of autism research, etc.
Damnit, I should’ve checked first. I’m usually more pedantic than that. Thanks.
If Democrats were just like Republiculos, and liberals fought using the same tactics as conservatives…
Then conservatives would right now be scrambling for a term to replace “property rights” as that phrase would have been indissolubly linked to slavery long ago.
(Same for the hairball inducing “ownership society”.)
clearly Iraq. am I right?
Damnit, I should’ve checked first. I’m usually more pedantic than that. Thanks.
Well, I wouldn’t feel bad about it. Virtually every science blogger that wrote about it got it wrong. I just happened to stumble upon one who looked a little more closely at the earmark. And again it doesn’t change the fact that Palin made an ignorant anti-science remark.
D. Aristophanes said,
does anyone have any ideas about what would be the perfect countries for wingnuts to flee to after Obama landslides to victory?
I see Somalia’s already gleaned a couple of votes in this thread, but let us be merciful and consign them to the places where they would be made most welcome.
http://www.iftheworldcouldvote.com/results
Albania: 53.8% McCain
Macedonia: 86.7% McCain
That’s it, really.
Perfect, combine the two. And the people that live there already are just going to have to learn English.
Perfect, combine the two.
Resulting in Greater Albania.
Regarding that Constitutional provision of 3/5 of a person voting –
Can we simply replace the words “slave” with “Republican”? It would go a long way towards fixing that blind spot.
Rugged,
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