Shorter Confederate Yankee

Above: Our Swinburne of the Swannoa

Michelle Obama Blasts African News for Supporting the “Racists” That Oppose Barack Obama, Calls Opposition Evil People (Obama Camp Calls Claims a Complete Fabrication)

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Comments: 27


Where’s Detta Walker when you need her?


Best part at the TIDOS Yankee post:

for now API—whoever they are—is standing behind their story.

That’s right, Owens can’t figure out who they are, but doesn’t much doubt that Michelle Obama, who does not do a huge number of interviews, called them up and talked to them. She probably just drunk-dials fringe bloggers as a matter of habit.

P.S. In unrelated news, my Michelle Obama telephone impression is awesome.


“This is easily the dumbest claim on the internet today involving Obama.”—Confederate Yankee

He’s doing our work for us.

Dragon-King Wangchuck

Who is API? Let’s ask them:

African Press International – API strives to ensure that the information which it places on the Internet via the website is subjected to a careful check so that the information is up-to-date, accurate, factually correct and therefore reliable. Despite this continual attention for the quality of its reporting, API cannot guarantee that the information on its website is always correct or complete.

Even API thinks API’s full of shit.


Thanks to “Jake” for fulfilling expectations. From the comments: “Fake but accurate….” It’s not true but it’s just like ______ so it’s true. Reality just isn’t real in their reality. Really.


What’s so hilarious is that Owens rejects the “Indonesian adoption = not a U.S. citizen” canard, but thinks his unsourced, unverified (and almost certainly unverifiable) rumor about about Michelle is gospel truth.

Also, someone in his comments said something like “fake but accurate,” which I believe was rejected as a defense in the case of Rightard Blogosphere vs. Dan Rather (In Re W’s Military Service Record).


Fake but accurate……

Posted by: Jack at October 15, 2008 12:15 PM

I guess I never realized how much stupid mining you can do in wingers comments sections.


Dang, PeeJ is too fast for me.


Looks like PeeJ won’t be playing poker with them afterall.

Smiling Mortician

OK but when even the Clownhallers are pointing out the fakealicious fakeosity of said story . . . kee-rist. The desperation is really ripe.


Sheesh! My comment was so innocuous; whitey why’d he censor it so fast? All I said was, “I really really really want to play poker with you folks. Bring lots of money.”

So sensitive, that lot.


From the Wankee comments:

“The candidates are obliged to run under their own legal name.”
– I wouldn’t be so sure. Normally, you can use an alias provided that it is not being used for criminal purposes.

Thar’s GOLD in them thar shills!


[…] their suspicions about everything from Senator Obama’s citizenship, religion, et al. It was completely fake but they bought it […]


I have to agree with SadlyNo on this one.

This story appears to be bogus.


That is the least readable post title I have ever seen.


Thanks to an enlightening call from a concerned citizen, Confederate Yankee has just gone out to catch his fridge.



Ringo the Gringo said,

October 15, 2008 at 22:24

I have to agree with SadlyNo on this one.

This story appears to be bogus.

Congratulations. You aren’t as dumb as a guy who calls himself “Confederate Yankee” and still expects to be taken seriously. Low bar, I know, but you gotta take what you can get, I suppose.


But she did not sound so barking insane as the person in this transcript. Not to say that proves it wasn’t her, but there is a (maybe tiny) fraction of doubt in my mind that she would be so stupid as to say these things to a media operation.

I can’t read this without imagining a 5-watt bulb making that electrical fritzz sound as it brightens and wanes.


Where’s Detta Walker when you need her?

She’s off in some parallel universe drinking Nozz-A-La™, I would think.



It just seems these guys are ready to believe AAAANYTHING about a skeery black woman, so let’s get them the scariest, know what I’m saying? A big, walking (not so much) talking cliché of a shrill harpy…


so let’s get them the scariest, know what I’m saying?

Oh yes. I would love to see these jokers tangle with Detta Walker.


Why does CY do his best impressions of Rosanne Rosadanna at the exact moment Sadly,No! gives him some lovin?


I’m Bob Owens, and you’re not.

What? This isn’t the SNL-Classics thread?


It’s like that time your sittin in the public toilette minding your own business just tapping your feet, and someone walks by with toilette paper stuck to their shoes, and then it gets all windy and your stainless steel Weber gets blown into the next stall.


I can’t imagine why Michelle Obama wouldn’t like white people.

After all white people have done for her!

White people brought her ancestors to America, taught them discipline and hard work, and Christianized them.

Then they died in droves so she could be free AND eventually gave her the vote as soon as the blacks asked nicely.

And how does she repay them?

She uses that horrible, horrible word whitey, which, strangely, no one realized was that bad until a black man ran for president and had a wife accused of saying it.

And THEN, on top of all that, after all the effort good white people – who made this country! – put into getting all upset and twisting up their panties with the righteous white rage, it turned out that the ungrateful wench didn’t even say it!



[…] 10/16/08 11:35 AM EDT: Via Sadly, No: How could anyone possible “question the credibility of a shady WordPress blog that is trying […]


[…] we have previously seen, there is no such thing as the news agency, African Press International. It is in fact an […]


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