Kerners Argot

Dr. Mr. Rusty Shackleford, Esq., after what looks to be about 70 to 80 straight wingnut-hours of old-fashioned manual kerning, has successfully proven that a supporter of Barack Obama uploaded a video supporting Barack Obama on YouTube.

Nailed.

Later, Herr Doktor Shackleford’s kern-wallahing would cause the Palin-bashing perp to abscond with the evidence:

UPDATE: Within 1 hour of posting, “eswinner” has removed all videos from YouTube and began removing any traces of his activities. But we have the video and all relevant websites backed up.

If “eswinner” isn’t Ethan Winner of the Publicis Groupe, then why did “eswinner” yank the video so quickly? Or if this was just an innocent homemade ad, then what does he have to hide? You’d think he’d want more attention for it.

So what DOES Ethan Winner have to hide? What POSSIBLE reason could there be for him to remove his video from YouTube? Well, Ethan?

Some people have asked why I have pulled the video from the Internet. The reason is simple. Following the posting of personal information about me by the Jawa Report, my family began to receive threatening and abusive phone calls and emails.

Oh. Um. Okay, then.

 

Comments: 103

 
 
 

Please, do not harass Ethan or his family. I purposefully did not link to pictures he posted of his familly for that very purpose.

Well that’s a relief.

 
 

Jesus Christ. Does this guy get paid by the word or something?

 
 

successfully proven that a supporter of Barack Obama uploaded a video supporting Barack Obama on YouTube.

O tempora, O mores! Perfidy, thy name is Winner.

 
 

But Ethan, that’s a feature, not a bug.

 
 

Check out the Malkin thing’s take on this.

Just look at the Trackbacks. It’s a wingnut orgy.

 
 

Flying monkeys have a Quick Response Team?

 
The Goddamn Batman
 

I swear, some people never get over the rush of power that they felt as grade-school hall monitors and teacher’s pets.

 
 

Wait, so wha? Who? Why?

I see that there is much back slapping and high fivin’ amongst the kerners, but I’m not sure what they really did that is so great?

 
 

I see that there is much back slapping and high fivin’ amongst the kerners, but I’m not sure what they really did that is so great?

That’s because you have a soul. Rejoice in your ignorance.

 
 

Does it really matter what they are stroking each about? It’s always something most human beings would be ashamed to admit.

 
 

I tried to figure this thing out yesterday. So they’ve proven that a supporter of Barack posted a video on YouTube, er, supporting Barack. Yes, I get that part.

But ….? The guy denies being connected to the Obama camp. So …. ? The wingers answer back, “yeah right.” Ok. I’m convinced.

Does this prove that Barack is a Chicago-thug or something?

 
 

Makes their slogan, “Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil,” much more unfortunately hypocritical. Sending a bunch of right-wing goons to make phone calls to the guy’s kids? Terrible (and oh-so-Christian, eh?).

 
 

since my wife is still getting death threats, i have to symphathize.

jawa dude, you are fuckwad and a human stain. come on out to LA and i will give you a good old fashioned beat down you asshole.

sorry, not the right day for me to read this kind of shit.

to be fair to horriblepieceofshit i mean jawa, ethan winner was expressing his beliefs and values in a presidential election. in public. before an election. so he was asking for it.

 
 

I swear, some people never get over the rush of power that they felt as grade-school hall monitors

I picture most wingnut kerners as Dwight Schrute on “The Office,” only a lot heavier and messier.

 
 

A catastrophic failure of logic.

It’s not as if Palin didn’t address the AIP or that her husband wasn’t a member (or that they’re not made up of racists and survivalists or they’re leader didn’t blow himself up).

But a citizen posted something against their candidate during – GASP – an election campaign.

So do thay merely mock this errant liberal? No, they elevate his actions into a scandal of national proportions and possibly A CRIME!!11!twelve!!

Thus do the shallow waters of wingnuttia churn and froth.

 
 

I’m allergic to the Malkin site, so I can’t go there.

What’s the guy’s sin? That he posted a video he made critical of Palin? What? Are we not allowed to do that anymore?

 
 

thay=quaint, quasi-Chaucerian version of ‘they’.

 
 

they’re=dumbassedness.

Shoulda been ‘their’, of course. Must preview better.

 
 

“Please, do not harass Ethan or his family. I purposefully did not link to pictures he posted of his familly for that very purpose.”

You’re not fooling anybody, asshole.

 
 

What’s the guy’s sin?

He says she was a member of the Alaskan Independence Party.

 
 

She being Palin of course.

 
 

What? Are we not allowed to do that anymore?

Just cover up your tracks, g. Change your locks and unlist your phone number.

 
 

Not clicking on ANY of those links. Don’t want any trace residue of those places on my hard drive, thankyouverymuch.

Even a tiny bit leaves an awful stench.

 
 

OK, so we should get this out of the way:

“As a representative of all that is liberal and may vote Democrat if it pleases us at the time, I hereby condemn Mr. Winner’s statement alleging that Sarah Palin (praise her!) was once a member of the same group that her husband was part of, namely a bunch of separatists that hate America.”

Is that enough?

 
 

Because I really don’t want to assault my senses with that barrage of wingnuttery, ya’ll make sure I have the story down OK: Some dude puts some anti-Palin vids up on YouTube that played a little fast with the truth. Wingnut kerners freak out, track the guy down, and bug the hell out of him. Guy isn’t associated with the Obama campaign. Wingnuts say he is on the basis of, um, thingy. Dude, realizing that wingnuts won’t rest until his family is shamed, his house is razed, and his earth is salted, just takes down the vids. Wingnuts declare a tremendous victory.

Is that it? Is that what they’re interested in these days? Is that what they’re talking about in lieu of anything having to do with the bailout?

Because, wow.

 
 

So do thay merely mock this errant liberal? No, they elevate his actions into a scandal of national proportions and possibly A CRIME!!11!twelve!!

Sadly, it’s not that far a stroll from this to turning a man’s religion, or his politics or his sexuality into crimes. That’s what is really creepy about Doctor Shekeltits.

 
 

I don’t really care about these wingnut circle jerks much, but Time’s Michael Scherer was (again) dumb enough to fall for it

The ‘debunking’ of the AIP seems to run as follows: Sarah Palin was never a member of the secessionist group, only the Toddster was. She merely spoke at the group’s convention.

I’d be happy if every undecided voter in America heard the “debunked” version of the story, and thus got a clear picture of the Bircher fever swamp Palin comes from.

 
 

Was Palin an elected official when she spoke at the AIP convention? just curious.

So the nuanced distinction is that even though her husband was a member and she spoke at their convention, she’s untainted by the association.

It’s not like she drank coffee with Bill Ayers in his living room…THAT would be beyond the pale.

 
Man with a phone and free time
 

Does this Shackelford dude have a pet jawa or is he a pet jawa? Either way, I’d like to rent it for Halloween, ’cause those glowing red eyes would look really cool on the front porch. Can you send me his home phone and address?

 
 

The AIP has a statement about the issue:

http://www.akip.org/090308.html

Thin gruel for a patriotic American I’d think.

 
 

Was Palin an elected official when she spoke at the AIP convention? just curious.

When she spoke in 1996, she was between jobs, as they say: her term as mayor expired, but she was already announced as a candidate for governor.

 
 

The AIP has a statement about the issue:

Loved the finish.

All you moms out there with ‘World’s Greatest Mom’ t-shirts, I suggest you stop wearing them now, because you’ve got nothing on Sarah Palin (technically not a member of the AIP, although she addresses them from timt to time).

 
 

This “Ace” that you speak of, he with the skullz and swordz and shit on his web site: I’m guessing he’s 6’5″ or so, a shaved-headed buffed black leather wearin’, skinhead tats badass?

 
 

This post reminds me: I need to rearrange my schedule to allow for more shooting range time. Maybe we can put together a San Francisco “Sadly, No Ammunition!” night at Jackson Arms.

 
 

Maybe we can put together a San Francisco “Sadly, No Ammunition!” night at Jackson Arms.

I went shooting once at a bring-your-own-target place somewhere in the Bay Area. My choice of targets is probably different these days.

 
 

actor212: I believe you mean 2006. That’s when she was campaigning for governor.

From the “corrected” press release linked to above:

“Sarah as a candidate for Governor appeared at the AIP Convention in 2006, and sent a welcoming DVD to the membership at the 2008 AIP statewide convention.”

 
 

Which clearly means she WAS NOT A MEMBER! Damn liebrals, just making shit up all the time!

 
 

I’m guessing he’s 6?5? or so, a shaved-headed buffed black leather wearin’, skinhead tats badass?

Hmm…I was thinking doltishly-dressed, starch-laden schlub with myriad sexual phobia issues.

 
 

Look people, it’s in the Constitution:

Amendment 12, Row 6 Seat N:

Thou shalt not speak badly of and Republican evar or we get to throw rotten eggs at your house.

 
 

Let the right-whiners party it up. Tiny, pathetic victories against small-time video makers are all they have.

The fact that McCain’s supporters are celebrating over getting criticism of their candidate removed from the internet through threats and intimidation should be spread far and wide, though.

Bu-bu-but, Reverend Wright! Bill Ayers! Snargle hoofen bergle!

 
 

Sure, Palin used to pal around with a group dedicated to breaking up the Union, but Obama was once in the same room as Ludicris! Let’s just call it a wash.

 
 

Palin says she wasn’t a member (but First Dude-guy was) and says voter registrations prove this.

Question from an ill-informed Canuck:

Can’t you be a member of a party without writing that down on your voter registration? In other words, can’t you buy or sign up for a membership for some group and that’s it?

note – we don’t register to vote as a member of a party here. Hence my dumbness.

 
 

Can’t you be a member of a party without writing that down on your voter registration?

Yes. But it’s also reasonable to listen to what the head of the AIP says and accept that Sarah Palin was never a member even though she is so super-swell and great at everything and the best governor Alaska could have.

 
 

I swear, some people never get over the rush of power that they felt as grade-school hall monitors and teacher’s pets.

I suspect they never were teacher’s pets: this is just long-deferred power-madness. Always passed over and ignored, and now The Great Leveller — teh intarwebs — allows them to show just why they were passed over and ignored.

 
 

Before the AIP banner loads, the top of the page says “Let them freeze in the dark.” Jeez, can’t these morons even come up with an original insult? Anyway, I assume Lynette Clark will be apologizing to the Winner family real soon.

 
 

Here’s another top-of-the-page tagline on the AIP site:

“The problem with you John Birchers’ is that you are too damn liberal!”
~ Joseph Vogler, Founder Alaskan Independence Party

 
 

At the risk of being spontaneously and completely unexpectedly targeted by a bunch of passive aggressive morons, my understanding is that “Jawa” is used, in a plausibly deniable way, as a racial slur. But plausible deniability is pretty much the whole point of this story, on several levels.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

The AKIP convention greeting:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwvPNXYrIyI

Not only does AKIP love Sarah Palin, but member or not – she’s pretty chummy with secessionists.

 
 

Please, do not harass Ethan or his family…ohh…don’t harass Vicki either,

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Oh, and speaking of Scherer,
First, Chopped Liver(bunch of superscripted thingies)’s black hole comment at the Scherer thread is brilliant.
Second, what a fucking ass. Abusive threats agains a public citizen and his family? Scherer will give it a cryptic sideways mention in order to make more space to talk about how the FEC views YouTube.
Thirdly, if you don’t capitalize Nome, then no one’s going to recognize the pun, and just assume you can’t spell. (Yes, I am harrassing Sclerosiser about speelnig – wrytnig’s sppos’d 2 B his fracking jorb)

 
 

Watch out, I’m going to Godwinise the thread.

But this is precisely what fascists do. Dominate the political space by intimidating people who don’t agree with them; or even sometimes who do, but not in the right way, or at the right time. The important thing isn’t who you beat up, or why, but that you do and you’re seen to do it.

It’s just like D’Annunzio’s pals shouting down the Italian prime minister, pelting him with dogshit and bricks, and beating the piss out of anyone who got in the way; it wasn’t the actual violence (hey, he was still prime minister, and could have cops beat them up in return) but the fact they did it and were obviously willing to do it to anyone, for any reason or none.

 
 

So, this Jawa-moron spends hours and hours “investigating” this complete non-story, and thinks he’s accomplished something in his sad, pathetic little life? WTF? Why have none of these wingnut assholes spent even a quarter of the same time investigating the complete line of bullshit that’s been fed to us every day for the past 7 1/2 years? Oh, that’s right, it’s because they’re wingnut assholes. Answered my own question, I guess.

 
 

Michael Scherer and Michelle Malkin are going to celebrate their success later by stalking some handicapped children.

 
 

On behalf of Chopped Liver™³²®© everywhere, I accept your gracious compliment, DKW.

 
 

actor212: I believe you mean 2006. That’s when she was campaigning for governor.

Oh wow! Is it the 21st Century already? Holy shit have I been out of it!

 
 

You haven’t missed much, actor212. I mean, much of anything good.

 
 

This “Ace” that you speak of, he with the skullz and swordz and shit on his web site: I’m guessing he’s 6?5? or so, a shaved-headed buffed black leather wearin’, skinhead tats badass?

5’3″, bad toupe and bad complexion, and fat. Really really fat.

 
 

This “Ace” that you speak of

Think Jonah Whaleburg, only fatter and and stupider and pretentiousier.

 
 

Wait wait, I take it back. Not even Acehole is stupider than Doughy. My grievous error.

 
 

I’m just delighted to see these knobs vigorously wasting precious time during an election campaign on completely pointless crap like someone’s YouTube video – & I left a comment saying exactly that on the Jagoff Report … yeah, E.S. Winner was so damn devious, he attained total Ninja-league stealth with the pseudonym “eswinner” – Jesus, liberals are so fucking tricky!

The stalking/harassment thing, however, is not so ha-ha … to put it mildly … in fact, I’d like to see more of these bipedal smegma-deposits being hunted down by the authorities & treated like the toxic slime they are. Once enough of them became Bubba’s New Bitch, I suspect the word would get around that being an Interwebs Stormtrooper is extremely hazardous to your anal health & magically relocate their missing chromasomes.

Pretty damn ironic that the only places you can watch the video in question are now the same wingnut blogs condemning it … & that it’s likely now got at least 50X as many views as it ever originally gathered.

The Wingnut Credo: Reality? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Reality!”

“Please, do not harass Ethan or his family. I purposefully did not link to pictures he posted of his familly for that very purpose.”

… but we DID post the name of his business, so if ya wanna have a cheap thrill by making his workplace into a torture-chamber, FUCKIN’ GO 4 IT DOODZ!!!!111!!

 
 

The fact that McCain’s supporters are celebrating over getting criticism of their candidate removed from the internet through threats and intimidation should be spread far and wide, though.

Next up: Shackleford accuses Winner of being an appeaser for having caved to terrorist threats.

 
 

Alex, you’re insulting fascists (and to properly Godwin the thread you’d have to compare them to Hitler). Fascists actually confront whoever they’re after face to face. If the knuckledragging crank callers of the 101st Frightened Keyboardists actually did that I’d have slightly more respect for them. But they won’t because they’re a bunch of chicken shits.

Just wait until one of those ding-dongs gets his Internet service yanked for harrassing people. The screaming will make your ears bleed.

 
 

Shorter D.A.:

“Although I totally missed the point, a fellow progg claims to have been threatened by mean meanies and their meanie means, and that’s all that matters.”

 
 

Arky- you got that right. It reminds me of the chuckle I got imagining Jonah Goldberg telling a gang of skinhead thugs that they’re really liberals.

 
 

Who is goober, and why does he think death threats are a good way to conduct political disagreements?

 
 

Ack! Fat man jokes. I’m really really really really really really really really, um, forgot, oh yeah, offended!! So stop.

 
 

I’m just delighted to see these knobs vigorously wasting precious time during an election campaign on completely pointless crap like someone’s YouTube video

Like they have anything positive to talk about????

 
 

Don’t know what D.A you’re referring to, so I’ll ask, what was the point? To shoot a little fish with a cannon?

 
 

Goober-

Didn’t ya hear? They’re having another fart-off over at AOSHQ. You better run.

 
 

I think we should encourage the wingers to keep up the good work in their “investigations” into whether or not an Obama supporter put up a video in support of Obama, and the like. While they’re off playing citizen journalists, the adults can maybe get down to correcting the shit pile the morns left for us to clean up.

 
 

Don’t know what D.A you’re referring to, so I’ll ask, what was the point?

My guess is that the point is that Sarah Palin was never actually a member of that kooky separatist party founded by that guy who got murdered in the plastic explosives swap so the fact that she hangs around their conventions and sends encouraging messages to them and marries a member need not be mentioned.

Let’s just put the Alaskan Independence Party that she does not belong to out of our minds because they want to separate from the United States and Sarah Palin probably does not want that for Alaska although the head of the AIP thinks she is the best governor Alaska could have.

Really, what the wingers have accomplished here is a devastating assault on the idea that Sarah Palin could ever have had anything to do with that party that loves her so much.

 
 

The fact is, you’re hot and then cold, yes and then no…

 
 

You’re half right.

 
 

That IS an interesting point. I believe I just got caught up in the frenzy and forgot that as a VP candidate, Palin is off-limits as far as questioning her ideology, resume, actions, beliefs, values and associations. She’s got tits, and that’s all we need to know.

 
 

You say goodbye, and I say hello, hello, hello…

 
 

Palin is super-qualified to be President when the old-timer croaks, and this would be obvious if the leftist meanies and the librul media would stop trying to learn things about her.

 
 

If the Confederacy was Treason in defense of slavery, what’s the AIP?

 
 

MzNicky Says:

September 23rd, 2008 at 19:50
This “Ace” that you speak of

Think Jonah Whaleburg, only fatter and and stupider and pretentiousier.
MzNicky Says:
———————
September 23rd, 2008 at 19:52
Wait wait, I take it back. Not even Acehole is stupider than Doughy. My grievous error.

The stupid has so warped the fabric of reality that A < J and J < A — AT THE SAME TIME!!12!

 
 

If the Confederacy was Treason in defense of slavery, what’s the AIP?

Treason in defense of fuck-all.

I can’t decide if that’s better or worse.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Look, here’s the point:

Barack the Muslim Obama has been spreading bald-faced lies about Sarah Palin. All part of his plan to raise your taxes and teach your children about sex. This is a political campaign there’s no room for imprecisivity or misrepresentativosity.

The fact that eswinner claims to have done all of this on his own initiative means nothing, since Obama has secret hypnotism rays that’ll make people steal his fake prayer from the wailing wall and leak it to the press.

The fact is that Blacky Ayers Loving Arugulobama is running the dirty campaign – what do you expect from the Hamas candidate – this is just clear proof of it, and of his dire scheme to institute Shania Law.

 
 

Sarah Palin was never a member of the secessionist group,
More correctly, she is now not ever a member of the secessionist group. Initially AIP claimed she had been a member, but they retracted that after a visit from the Republican Fast Response Team.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Ding dong dilly, Bucket’s right – all libs are going to be in for a rude awakening. I mean, if there’s one charge that McCain “points for valuable prizes” can make stick to Barack – it’s astroturfing.

 
 

Initially AIP claimed she had been a member, but they retracted that after a visit from the Republican Fast Response Team.

Smut, I think it is clear that the retraction of the kooky party that wants to break up America means that no matter how nice she has been to them – and how nice they have been to her – we can safely say that Sarah Palin was not a member of the AIP as of that retraction. Oh wait, you said that. Perhaps I’ll say it again at some other point.

 
 

If the Confederacy was Treason in defense of slavery, what’s the AIP?

Treason in defense of long cold winter nights spent in front of the fire with your intimate wear catalog and blow-up moose.

 
 

Treason in Defense of Bitterness, Religion and Guns. TiDoBRaG.

 
 

Treason in defense of oil revenues. How this makes them different from ordinary Republicans isn’t clear.

It may be the whole secessionist thing, but with the southern Republicans like ex-Senator Macacawitz defending the confederate flag I’m not sure that’s it.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

If the Confederacy was Treason in defense of slavery, what’s the AIP?

I find that answering questions like that becomes funnier easier if you go to the source:

Treason in Defense of Drill, Baby Drill

re-establish the rights of all Alaskan residents to entry upon all public lands within the state, and to acquire private property interest there in, under fair and reasonable conditions. Such property interest shall include surface and sub-surface patent.

And then there’s a lot of right-wing batshit about traditional family values, evil judges and bureaucrats, enshrining home-schooling, privatizing everything and everybody gets a gun.

 
 

“Initially AIP claimed she had been a member, but they retracted that after a visit from the Republican Fast Response Team.”
Somewhere I saw a video of Sarah addressing an AIP meeting. I seem to remember the man who introduced her saying “Sarah’s been a member from way back and she’s done a lot for the AIP” or words to that effect- but the impression I got was that she WAS a member…. Oh well, it’s all down the memory hole now. We have always been at war with the American people.

 
 

Are these wingnuts for realzies?

I work in Chicago at a large ad agency. We have several large ad agenices and Axelrod doesn’t phone us and give us extracurriculars for larfs.

Also, since Barack is our hometown hero and we did vote him into the Senate at 70 + percentage points, does it not make sense that he might have a lot of fans here generally and some of those just might not work at an abortion clinic?

Ass hammers

 
 

Treason in defense of getting out from under those bolshevik swine, Cheney and Bush.

See, if we were our own country we could….

I mean, think of all the….

Well, at least we’d be able to…

Anyway a toast to our honored memb…I mean, guest…

 
goober (aka "booger")
 

Did you know:

Preznit Roosevelt addressed the nation on TV in 1929 to convey his opposition to burning clean coal?

Joe Biden said it so it must be true.

 
 

Did you know:

goober masturbates furiously to pictures of Sarah Palin on an hourly basis?

 
 

Does anyone think that maybe the AIP hasn’t thought their clever plan all the way through?

Let’s say they manage to secede. Now they’re an oil-rich nation with no advanced military hardware, barely enough population to field a real military force, and thousands of miles of unguarded coastline.

Good luck with all that.

 
 

Dear Booger: Biden did say “television”; obviously that was an error. He meant “radio.” As in “Fireside Chats.” You may have heard of them; probably not, though, because you’re an ignorant ass. FDR broadcast many such chats to the American public during the Great Depression, which lasted throughout the 1930s and into the 1940s, and also during World War II, while FDR was in the process of serving four consecutive terms as president. If you’d bothered to check the original source (hint: that would NOT be ace-hole), you’d have seen that Biden said nothing about the year 1929.

In conclusion, Biden had it basically right. His citing the incorrect broadcasting medium does not [choking with laughter] make him, as assospades puts it [now laughing uncontrollably] “dangerously unfit to be vice-president.”

Also in conclusion, go fuck yourself.

 
 

[…] What a week for the kerners! Not only did Michelle Malkin and her stable of sedentary cyber sleuths discover /b/-tards, but through the power of a mere several hundred million fevered keystrokes, the likes of Dr. Mrs. Lt. Rusty Shackleford, Ace, Patterico and Dan Riehl were able to visit digital hell upon some unsuspecting schnook who had the temerity to publish a pro-Obama video on YouTube. […]

 
goober (aka "booger")
 

MzNicky:

“When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the princes of greed,” Biden told Couric.

The stock market crashed in 1929, not 1932 when FDR was elected.

In conclusion, your reading comprehension skills are wanting.

You’re welcome.

 
 

goober: Your interpretive skills are nonexistent, and your purposeful, half-assed attempts to demonize are below par. Please find a more useful way to waste your time, preferably elsewhere.

 
goober (aka "booger")
 

“Your interpretive skills are nonexistent”

No example given.

“your purposeful, half-assed attempts to demonize”

No example given.

“Please find a more useful way to waste your time, preferably elsewhere.”

Not likely, especially now I know I’m under your skin, lol.

 
 

No example given.

I refer you to any and all goober posts – past, present or future.

 
goober (aka "booger")
 

I refer you to any and all goober posts – past, present or future.

Now THAT’S

 
goober (aka "booger")
 

(Dang it! One more try)

I refer you to any and all goober posts – past, present or future.

Now THAT’S how it’s done, MzNicky. Pay attention.

 
 

So goober, when Dubya said that George Washington tapped phone lines, do you think that made him dangerously unfit to be President?

 
 

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