Sep
24

Kern Up The Volume!!!!1!




Posted at 8:23 by D. Aristophanes

What a week for the kerners! Not only did Michelle Malkin and her stable of sedentary cyber sleuths discover /b/-tards, but through the power of a mere several hundred million fevered keystrokes, the likes of Dr. Mrs. Lt. Rusty Shackleford, Ace, Patterico and Dan Riehl were able to visit digital hell upon some unsuspecting schnook who had the temerity to publish a pro-Obama video on YouTube.

Their eyes rheumy, their carpal tunnels syndromed, the kern-wallahs of Retarda Pradesh slumber peacefully now — their mission to achieve the single stupidest reveal ever a smashing success.

And really, who can blame them? They’ve earned their rest. As Malkin put it:

The bloggers digging into the provenance of anti-Sarah Palin smears on the web got results last night/early this morning while most elite journalists were still in their pajamas sleeping.

Not technically true — it’s fairly well-known that the New York Times editorial staff sleep naked in a tangled pile of thrusting body parts, and I have it on good authority that Keith Olbermann was up all night Sunday crafting a bong out of the skull of an aborted fetus. But her point still stands, in the ‘fake-but-accurate’ sense.

So what will that crack team of kernistas do with themselves, now that Ethan Winner has been revealed as, well, ‘some guy on YouTube’ … ?

Shackleford, for one, will try not to get downsized:

I’m busy again today — as I’m going to be for the next month, sorry, but the real job calls and I spent nearly a week full time working on the Winner story at the expense of my other commitments that will not longer wait — but the best response to Ambinder’s evaluation of the scandal is from Ray Robison here.

And who is this Ray Robison, who bravely soldiers on in this downward-spiralling witch hunt? What could he possibly have to subtract from our collective intelligence that hasn’t already been manhandled out of our craniums by Shackleford et. al.?

Obama camp denies link to Palin smear; smears McCain

The investigation discovered that the Palin video had been distributed to left-wing fringe blogs by executives with the Winner PR firm. Ethan Winner, an executive at the firm later admitted it had originated with him and denied that anyone else had a hand. The question then became “was anybody else involved?”

Ethan Winner, PR firm, executive. Got it.

It was noted that the methodology involved in posting and distributing the ad was similar to a process called “astroturfing”. It was also noted that Obama media advisor David Axelrod is a recognized authority of this PR tactic. This raised the question of David Axelrod’s involvement in the matter.

‘Astroturfing’, you say? I was not familiar with this term, so I wiki’d it: ‘Astroturfing in American English is a neologism for formal public relations campaigns in politics and advertising which seek to create the impression of being spontaneous “grassroots” behavior, hence the reference to the artificial grass, AstroTurf.’

Shocking! And you say that ‘Obama media advisor David Axelrod is a recognized authority of this PR tactic’? Who else would PR firm executive Ethan Winner, a noted executive at a PR-producing PR firm where he serves as a PR firm executive, turn to for expert advice on matters PR-related?

Game, set, match, if you ask me. But there’s more:

Yes, everyone with photo shop and a video editor application has million dollar contracts to churn out high quality political adds [sic], right? The truth is, it takes skill, time, money, and connections to make ads like this. …

Good point. Does Ethan Winner of ginormous modern PR firm Winner and Associates really expect us to believe he has the skills or the tools to make a short video spot? Even if we were to swallow the notion that this n00b knows how to blogwhore a YouTube link without Axelrod holding his hand every step of the way … how’d Ethan Winner get his hands on Barack Obama’s pirated Jakarta black market copy of Photoshop? Hmmm?

If like me, you suspect that this video was an Axelrod production, it leaves you with two reasonable theories. First, the ad was possibly produced by Axelrod before The New York Times retracted the claim carried in the video. Then Axelrod shelved it. At that point, Winner probably had the ad from Axelrod and was either told to sit on it and he disobeyed or told to release it as a viral video.

Well, grammatically speaking, that’s really only one theory that has two options at the end. So here’s another to make it two whole theories: After Axelrod produced the video, he had it sent by bike messenger to Winner. Later, that same bike messenger was physically unable to pedal a bicycle — because as per Winner, it would be inconceivable for someone to perform a skill for which they are actually paid money to do every day, absent the perfidious tutelage of David Axelrod.

63 Comments »

  1. It wuz me, Jrod! said,

    September 24, 2008 at 8:48

    Another theory, which I’m sure you’ll find quite plausible, is that Axelrod recieved the video straight from Satan himself, after performing a score of ritual abortions for the Dark Lord’s amusement, of course. Axelrod then had Winner kidnapped, whereupon psychedelic drugs were administered to Winner while he was forced to watch the video again and again, combined with dark subliminal messages. After these evil deeds were complete, Winner was dropped on his front step with pirated copies of Photoshop and PowerDirector in his pocket. From there, Axelrod’s devious scheme played itself out.

    It is, in any case, far more plausible than the frankly crazy notion that a private citizen would decide to simply express his opinion of his own volition, using skills acquired through his job. After all, it’s not like Malkin and her merry band of patriots simply express an opinion that wasn’t blastfaxed to them, right?

    Right?

  2. nationalplumbingcode said,

    September 24, 2008 at 8:57

    Yeah, that was some disappointing work. And, yes, I lost interest after Winner turned out to be some dude. For a minute, I forgot that I was reading out of the Jawa punchbowl and thought: “Damn, this Winner is going to turn out to be Jenna Bush or Newt’s new baby mama.” But no, the punchline is the guy who made the video is, um, an Obama supporter. And the video sucks.

  3. CatStaff said,

    September 24, 2008 at 9:06

    In other kerning news, Gun Counter Gomer has been busily combing the public hair of rape victims in Wasilla: http://confederateyankee.mu.nu/archives/274088.php

  4. Max Power said,

    September 24, 2008 at 9:07

    I think we need regulations around here so that direct hyperlinks to toxic-waste wingnut web sites are appropriately labeled and warnings given. Perhaps a klaxon could sound whenever a such a link is present on your pages – ahoooga ahoooga!

  5. CatStaff said,

    September 24, 2008 at 9:10

    Meh. “Pubic,” “public,” it’s all the same to the Gomester.

  6. D. Aristophanes said,

    September 24, 2008 at 9:18

    Max Power – there have been a few serious posts ’round here due to the upcoming election and Wall Street’s shit-moating of the common folk and all that stuff … but really, ‘direct hyperlinks to toxic-waste wingnut web sites’ are kind of our raison d’etre, all else being equal.

  7. D. Aristophanes said,

    September 24, 2008 at 9:28

    CatStaff – so they’re spending all their time with complicated investigations and elaborate explanations that just wind up publicizing the Wasilla rape kit nastiness and Palin’s connections to the secessionist Alaska Independence Party … hmm. Wonder how many news cycles they’re going to win for McCain with that tactic?

  8. Smut Clyde said,

    September 24, 2008 at 11:18

    My network of spies has provided me with this rare photograph of criminal master-mind David Axelrod — taken shortly after he engineered a run on the banks and brought the stock-market crashing to the ground, all for the benefit of Obama’s electoral chances.

  9. Just Alison said,

    September 24, 2008 at 11:43

    Those dudes are crazy, man. Is there a world shortage of crazy that they have to compensate for? I think not.

    Jeebus, I have this image of hordes of pallid, sweaty, track-suited basement-dwellers all shuffling around picking fluff off the carpet with tweezers, and rummaging through someone’s garbage, looking for Klews.

    Ferkin’ buggery-arsed knobstickes.

  10. Christopher said,

    September 24, 2008 at 12:03

    Can somebody explain to me what the hell?

    I mean, it all seems positively Ed Woodian:

    “This is a murder, and someone’s responsible!”

    A pro-Obama video was made by a pro-Obama person. So what? What’s the story here?

  11. El Cid said,

    September 24, 2008 at 12:52

    With all this detectiving talent floating around on the right blogosphere, they should get together and open their own detective agency.

    Michelle Malkin could be sitting in an office wearing a fedora when someone slowly pushes open the door and says, “They told me you could help — I’ve been to everybody.”

    The script writes itself, and the extra money they bring down with their new detective agency can be used for push polls in swing states asking people how they would feel about Barack Hussein Obama bin Laden X if they knew he personally had aborted white babies with his Muslim knife.

  12. Some Guy said,

    September 24, 2008 at 12:57

    I’m not getting this.
    Even if we take the wingnut’s theory at face value, some firm made ad, ad was deemed not usable, ad pops up on youtube. To them, this offense hovers somewhere between “selling access codes to the Soviets” and “Bludgeoning Supreme Court Justice to death with his own shoe” in terms of bad things to do.

    Would it be worth my time to point out that I’ve never even seen this “viral” video, that’s supposedly so seditious and evil and all over the “far-left” blogosphere?

    And what could possibly be in it that’s worse then Michelle “Oh Shit, is That Menopause Coming at Me?” Malkin prancing around in a bad cheerleader outfit?

  13. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    September 24, 2008 at 13:06

    The truth is, it takes skill, time, money, and connections to make ads like this. …

    Here’s your problem. Plain old skill envy and suspicion of people who are smarter, prettier, &c, &c, &c. “OMG, he’s successful. He can do something I can’t! He must be EVILE!”

    You see, they’ve bought into the Lefty Elitist Cabal lie so hard it only makes sense to them that
    a) All successful lefties are part of the Elitist Cabal.
    b) All members of the Elitist Cabal know each other (they meet at EC Gay Abortionist Gatherings).
    c) If one member does something it must be at the behest of another member of the Elitist Cabal.
    d) If one member does something, every member of the Elitist Cabal knows about it.

    It’s “Those People are All the Same,” not by race, ethnicity or some other predetermined characteristic, but by some imagined characteristics that the conspiracy theorist has given them.

    Don’t believe me? Then allow me to refer you of The Incident of the RedState that Shat the Bed in the Night. You remember that. Erik “The Red” Erikson need a new website or server or something and he was having a hard time finding someone to work on it for free because all IT experts were lefty elitist doody heads.

    Trust me, if these fReichtards get into fender bender with a guy who has an Obama bumper sticker they’ll scream that it was an attempted hit job.

  14. goober (aka "booger") said,

    September 24, 2008 at 13:07

    Shorter D.A.:

    “I really have no idea what the wingers are up to but I uncategorically denounce it, anyway.”

  15. N__B said,

    September 24, 2008 at 13:17

    The truth is, it takes skill, time, money, and connections to make ads like this. …

    Here’s your problem. Plain old skill envy and suspicion of people who are smarter, prettier, &c, &c, &c. “OMG, he’s successful. He can do something I can’t! He must be EVILE!”

    In ordinary times, they express this by simply denying that such a thing as expertise exists. Anyone can argue scientific evidence, or legal theory, or read a CT scan…anyone, regardless of native intelligence or training can, say, be president. But in the heat of an election, they have no choice but to turn sleuth to expose the EVILE!

  16. WereBear said,

    September 24, 2008 at 13:28

    It’s “Those People are All the Same,” not by race, ethnicity or some other predetermined characteristic, but by some imagined characteristics that the conspiracy theorist has given them.

    Because they don’t see them as people.

    We actually don’t see the Wingnut Mass as a wingnut mass. There’s Confederate Wanker, who is selfish and clueless. Amy Aikon, who is whiny. And Malkin, who’s just batshit.

    See? They are all distinct and different.

  17. Shorter goober (aka "booger" [aka "Electric Goobaloo"]) said,

    September 24, 2008 at 13:32

    I really have no idea what D. Aristophanes is talking about but looney libs looney libs looney libs!!!!

  18. owlbear1 said,

    September 24, 2008 at 13:43

    Shorter wingnutosphere:

    BLAARRGHH!!! reality!

  19. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    September 24, 2008 at 13:58

    In ordinary times, they express this by simply denying that such a thing as expertise exists. Anyone can argue scientific evidence, or legal theory, or read a CT scan…

    Heh, indeed the list is endless: Determine whether a military vehicle’s turning radius would allow it to squash a dog, access a family’s income by looking at their counter tops, prove that Hitler was a liberal.

    I wonder if it all arises from that fucktard golden oldie: Being able to tell someone is Jewish by looking at them.

    Assholes.

    But individual assholes with unique assholey personalities and dreams and goals.

  20. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 24, 2008 at 14:00

    goober (aka “booger”) said,
    September 24, 2008 at 13:07

    Shorter D.A.:

    “I really have no idea what the wingers are up to but I uncategorically denounce it, anyway.”

    The irony! It burrrrnnnnnssss!

  21. t Winslow Howell said,

    September 24, 2008 at 14:07

    re Malkin:A tech-savvy reader who monitors the hackers’ site e-mailed me…

    Ananymouse and me are sittin on tho sofa watchin tv and scatchin usselves
    We’s all tech savy and shit..
    Possibly gonna get in a quick game of ping pong.

  22. N__B said,

    September 24, 2008 at 14:18

    But individual assholes with unique assholey personalities and dreams and goals.

    That’s the electorate, man.

  23. D. Sidhe said,

    September 24, 2008 at 14:21

    “It was noted that the methodology involved in posting and distributing the ad was similar to a process called “astroturfing”. ”

    For some reason, that really makes me happy. Similar to! Can it be? It’s like the definition just lapped him there. That is just one big Ouroboros of dumb, really.

    Yes, grassroots activism is similar to astroturfing. (That’s why, you know, astroturfing has that name that’s kind of a play on grassroots.) Just as shopping is similar to looting, in that you go into a store and come out with new stuff.

    But see, the reason astroturfing *isn’t* grassroots is exactly that it’s “similar to” in appearance but different in behavior. So if this guy posted this video because he was paid to do it, and swore up and down that he hadn’t been, that might qualify as astroturfing. But if, on the other hand, a guy uses his skills to design a video and posts it and doesn’t get paid for its creation or distribution and says as much, that’s actually, you know, not. And just to make sure we have this all sorted out, if a guy uses his professional skills to design a video and then sells it to someone else to distribute it, that’s what we call “the free market”. Which is also “similar to” astroturfing, but is not.

  24. Nylund said,

    September 24, 2008 at 14:39

    “Breaking! – Scandal erupts as Obama supporter caught supporting Obama!”

    When will the wingnuts stop out onioning the Onion!?

    Seriously though. You left off the part where they threatened the guys family and released his personal information to the public for the crime of uploading an anti-Palin video on youtube. Thats whats freaky about these wingnuts. They will call your house and threaten violence against your family members for what is ultimately just because you want to vote for a different person than they do. Its sick and scary.

  25. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 24, 2008 at 14:39

    re: Bobo Wens

    As noted above, the city of Wasilla paid for the only two rape kits used in in 2000, and the two used in 2001. Four kits were used over these two years, for a total of $2,238.

    I wonder how this squares with former Wasilla Police Chief Charlie Fannon’s statement:

    According to Fannon, the new law will cost the Wasilla Police Department approximately $5,000 to $14,000 a year to collect evidence for sexual assault cases.

  26. Nikki said,

    September 24, 2008 at 14:42

    And right wing bloggers continue to wonder why the Republican party won’t take them seriously.

  27. Gunner said,

    September 24, 2008 at 14:45

    This sort of thing happens every three months or so – Malkin and her pack of little yapping dogs see a leaf blow across the lawn and start barking like crazy, running all over the furniture and peeing on the carpet. Then they calm down and sniff each others’ butts, happy with the knowledge that they’ve successfully defended the house from that leaf blowing across the lawn.

  28. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    September 24, 2008 at 14:47

    In WingNuttistan Tech-savvy = Knows how to use a can opener.

  29. Righteous Bubba said,

    September 24, 2008 at 14:52

    Remember: suspicions that Sarah Palin was a member of the Alaskan Independence Party are totally loony especially since the party’s chairman retracted the assertion she’d made that Sarah Palin was a member of the Alaskan Independence Party after McCain’s people started running around Alaska trying to clean up stray piles of Palin poo.

    But David Axelrod is a scheming mastermind.

  30. monkey knife fight said,

    September 24, 2008 at 14:52

    Skygazer over at Metafilter has more on this. Pretty funny stuff.

  31. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 24, 2008 at 15:05

    more Bobo Rape Kit Wens:

    Considering the small number of sexual assaults reported during her six years as mayor, it is very plausible that Mayor Palin would not know about such small expenditures. Quite possibly, the city spent more on toilet paper and paper towels during that same time period.

    c. f.

    “I find it hard to believe that for six months a small town, a police chief, would lead the fight against a statewide piece of legislation receiving unanimous support and the mayor not know about it,” (state Rep. Eric) Croft said.

    or later in the article:

    She (Palin’s deputy mayor Judy Patrick) does recall Palin going through the budget in detail. She said Palin would review each department’s budget line by line and send it back to department heads with her changes.

    or

    Before Palin came to City Hall, the Wasilla Police Department paid for rape kits out of a fund for miscellaneous costs, according to the police chief who preceded Fannon and was fired by Palin. That budget line was cut by more than half during Palin’s tenure, but it did not specifically mention rape exams.

    Although, to put the most appropriate perspective on this, I’d like to point out that for five and a half long years, John McCain wasn’t able to bill anybody for anything.

  32. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 24, 2008 at 15:09

    Thanks mkf,

    It strikes me as absolutely hilarious that the wingers think they can dig up dirt on Obama by looking at lobbyists, PR firms and astroturfing. The sheer amount of ignoring the GOP crap they’re running into just asking about this sort of thing must be astounding.

  33. tigrismus said,

    September 24, 2008 at 15:19

    It was noted that the passive voice is favored by those who wish to pull some shit out of their capacious posteriors without providing any evidentiary backup whatsoever.

  34. Smiling Mortician said,

    September 24, 2008 at 15:43

    the kern-wallahs of Retarda Pradesh

    That’s pretty fucking funny. Not clicking the link, though. Not enough coffee yet.

  35. actor212 said,

    September 24, 2008 at 15:46

    Well, grammatically speaking, that’s really only one theory that has two options at the end. So here’s another to make it two whole theories: After Axelrod produced the video, he had it sent by bike messenger to Winner. Later, that same bike messenger was physically unable to pedal a bicycle — because as per Winner, it would be inconceivable for someone to perform a skill for which they are actually paid money to do every day, absent the perfidious tutelage of David Axelrod.

    David Axelrod must be some kind of deity! It’s like he can stretch out his hands, and part the Red Sea or has to touch each and every daisy personally in the Spring before it opens!

    If the right wing didn’t have David Axelrod, why, they’d simply HAVE to invent him!

  36. actor212 said,

    September 24, 2008 at 15:48

    Remember: suspicions that Sarah Palin was a member of the Alaskan Independence Party are totally loony especially since the party’s chairman retracted the assertion she’d made that Sarah Palin was a member of the Alaskan Independence Party after McCain’s people started running around Alaska trying to clean up stray piles of Palin poo.

    But David Axelrod is a scheming mastermind.

    David Axelrod drugged Sarah Palin and propped her up on the podium in 2006, knowing that two years later, she’d be the VP nod for McCain against unlikely Presidential nominee Barack Obama (who hadn’t even hired Axelrod at this point), all so he could distract the right wing from the real issue, that McCain spent five years not making speeches in front of extremist anti-American groups.

    Oh. Wait. HE DID!

  37. sagra said,

    September 24, 2008 at 15:55

    Shorter individual wingnut voices joined into one mighty choir:

    Grassroots? Isn’t that’s what dirty fucking hippies put in their bongs?

  38. Rusty Shackleford said,

    September 24, 2008 at 16:04

    I would just like to note for the record that I am not THAT Rusty Shackleford.

  39. g said,

    September 24, 2008 at 16:08

    So…Some Guy works up a pro-Obama Youtube video that exaggerates Palin’s connection to AIP, and the dastardliness of this forces the Flying Monkeys to hound the Guy’s family and workplace, and, worse, they suspect the Obama campaign directly engineered this horrendous offense.

    But the McCain campaign can accuse Obama of enabling child molestation in an ad that they actually broadcase, with the tagline “I’m John McCain and I approve this message,” – and this is OK?

  40. Simba B said,

    September 24, 2008 at 16:09

    I would just like to note for the record that I am not THAT Rusty Shackleford.

    You should have pretended that you were and acted like a racist idiot or something. That’s the true Sadly, No! way.

  41. bago said,

    September 24, 2008 at 16:10

    Oh shit. The duncan brothers had better look out. Someone might find their secret connections to the dinosaur/racing lobby!

  42. Michelle Malkin said,

    September 24, 2008 at 16:15

    You libtards think you’re soooo great with your “sense of humor” and your “understanding of logic.” What you don’t understand is that Obamby is a black man! Don’t you get it? Black!

    Also, I have spontaneous hydro-dental implosion. So any attack on me is an attack on every American without teeth, ever.

  43. Scott said,

    September 24, 2008 at 16:18

    This sort of thing happens every three months or so – Malkin and her pack of little yapping dogs see a leaf blow across the lawn and start barking like crazy, running all over the furniture and peeing on the carpet. Then they calm down and sniff each others’ butts, happy with the knowledge that they’ve successfully defended the house from that leaf blowing across the lawn.

    This is the best description I’ve read of the Malkinsphere in ages. Great job, Gunner. :)

  44. MzNicky said,

    September 24, 2008 at 16:36

    A pro-Obama video was made by a pro-Obama person. So what? What’s the story here?

    The story is that the pro-Obama video said MEAN THINGS about Gov. Lipstick! A veritable SMEAR against her fine character that implied she was a member of the Alaskan Separatist Movement or whatever it is. (I didn’t see the vid myself; this is the best I can determine from the shrieking monkey sites.) In reality a perfectly plausible PR release appeared on that movement’s site shortly after the group bragged that she was a member, saying oh no no no she never ever was, we totally forgot! She only spoke to their group when campaigning for governor and sent them a welcoming DVD a few months ago under the auspices of the governor’s office, and her First Dude was a member but just for like a day and a half, so SMEAR!!

    BTW, “astroturfing” is more precisely used to describe a PR campaign that involves widespread advertising and handy-dandy, ready-for-prime-time “news” videos featuring a fake industry-generated “grassroots movement.” For ex., Philip-Morris’s PR team once created the National Smokers Alliance to lobby for smokers’ rights. The whole idea is that they operate via deception, hoping no one will discover who they really are.

  45. kc said,

    September 24, 2008 at 16:40

    What a bunch of fucking loons. Those people got some nerve calling anyone else “moonbats.”

  46. MzNicky said,

    September 24, 2008 at 16:42

    Basically, what D. Sidhe said on up the thread a ways. Will now read entire thread before posting future redundancies.

  47. Righteous Bubba said,

    September 24, 2008 at 16:43

    A veritable SMEAR against her fine character that implied she was a member of the Alaskan Separatist Movement or whatever it is.

    Whatever it is? WHATEVER IT IS? Why it’s a party of treasonous kooks who want to break up the union and Sarah Palin was totally not a member even though she married that party member and hung around the conventions and the AIP thinks she’s the bee’s knees.

  48. actor212 said,

    September 24, 2008 at 16:56

    I agree with Scott at 16:18.

    Well played, Gunner *polite golf clap*

  49. MzNicky said,

    September 24, 2008 at 16:56

    Also — a couple of words that do not mean what these lunkheads seem to think they mean:

    “scandal”
    “methodology”

    Seriously — “methodology”?! Well then, I demand they reveal whether this study was qualitative or quantitative, its theoretical underpinnings, and a complete list of the proposed hypotheses.

  50. Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy said,

    September 24, 2008 at 17:08

    “I’m busy again today — as I’m going to be for the next month, sorry, but the real job calls and I spent nearly a week full time working on the Winner story at the expense of my other commitments that will not longer wait — but the best response to Ambinder’s evaluation of the scandal is from Ray Robison here.”

    Fuck me. As wingnuts go, Ray Robison was one of the dumbest. A few years ago, he was trying to allege Saddam denotated a nuke in 1989. I’m not making this up.

  51. D. Sidhe said,

    September 24, 2008 at 17:12

    BTW, “astroturfing” is more precisely used to describe a PR campaign that involves widespread advertising and handy-dandy, ready-for-prime-time “news” videos featuring a fake industry-generated “grassroots movement.” For ex., Philip-Morris’s PR team once created the National Smokers Alliance to lobby for smokers’ rights.

    Good point, MzNicky. Even if this guy had done exactly what they’re saying he’d done, it would still not be astroturf so much as “couple of pieces of green yarn on the lawn”. Not so much a well-orchestrated campaign of deception as “kind of a combover on this one guy at work everybody laughs at”.

  52. Djur said,

    September 24, 2008 at 17:26

    MzNicky: using “methodology” to mean “method” is my #1 pet peeve. It makes my skin crawl, and I hear it all the time.

  53. Me said,

    September 24, 2008 at 18:39

    Their obsession with trivialities is in direct inverse proportion to how badly they’re getting their asses kicked in the polls, so we must be having a good week.

  54. Baron Von Moneypants said,

    September 24, 2008 at 18:49

    That’s a nice economy you got there . . . be a shame if something was to happen to it.

  55. jim said,

    September 24, 2008 at 18:54

    Did somebody say astroturf?

    But heck, who can blame poor old Wet-Start … the guy’s gotta drum up some sort of enthusiasm SOMEHOW, even if it means buying it outright. I mean, it’s not like he can draw a big crowd without setting himself on fire first.

  56. Reverend Batshit said,

    September 24, 2008 at 19:06

    Those lie-beral bastards are so tricksy. Ethan S. Winner even used “eswinner” as his YouTube login. Fortunately we here at Malkin HQ have teh resources to detect such cunning.

  57. actor212 said,

    September 24, 2008 at 20:26

    Seriously — “methodology”?! Well then, I demand they reveal whether this study was qualitative or quantitative, its theoretical underpinnings, and a complete list of the proposed hypotheses.

    I chanced upon Jonah Goldberg at lunch this afternoon…apparently, he had just swallowed a ship in the Sea of Galillee…and asked him this very question and his response was “Errrrrrrrrrm oh look! A chicken!”

  58. Dale Gribble said,

    September 24, 2008 at 20:33

    Is that a real computer?

    “Yes it is”

    Then my name is Rusty Shackleford

  59. Smut Clyde said,

    September 24, 2008 at 22:11

    David Axelrod made photoshopped images of McCain, and gave them to Robert Green’s wife to release!

    David Axelrod phished Palin’s yahoo e-mail address, then tried to shiftthe blame onto some student who’s since been exonerated!

    Really there is no end to the man’s Jedi mind tricks.

  60. dfu said,

    September 25, 2008 at 3:58

    If these three voices are the same, Winner is lying and Axelrod is in this up to his eyeballs.

    http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=1zxw8za&s=4

  61. Ruthie said,

    September 25, 2008 at 6:47

    MzNicky said,
    September 24, 2008 at 16:56
    Also — a couple of words that do not mean what these lunkheads seem to think they mean:
    “scandal”
    “methodology”

    Can we add “hero” to that list? Being inept enough to crash-land a plane doesn’t make you a hero. Getting the chance to do it five times ’cause your dad was an admiral might qualify you as a “legacy” admission to flight school, though.

  62. Smut Clyde said,

    September 25, 2008 at 10:22

    Also — a couple of words that do not mean what these lunkheads seem to think they mean:

    Do not forget “provenance”, which is really a section of southern France.

  63. PWAX said,

    September 27, 2008 at 0:09

    I gotta tell you, reading your prose: you have figured out how to write the cyber speak of a William GIbson style society. It is hard to follow.

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