Webster’s To The Defense!
Oh. My. Effing. Goodness. America’s Worst Advice Columnist™ has waded once again into the shit moat with another of her rants claiming that the real racists are the ones that won’t let her make wildly inaccurate and demeaning generalizations about black people because she is white. It starts with her harassing some poor guy in a Starbucks:
Yesterday, I debated a guy I started talking to in Starbucks about the big problem in the black community. He said it was poverty and unequal schools. I said it was daddylessness. I also think there’s a huge problem with victimhood.
Poor guy. Here he was checking his email and trying to enjoy his latte when this crazy chick, who looks for all the world like John Cusack in bad drag, starts ranting about the n****rs in LA. He probably should have dialed 911 on his mobile phone when he saw her coming but, like most Angelenos, he improvidently gave a potentially crazy person the benefit of the doubt.
“But, ma’am,” he probably said while trying to pack up his stuff and get the hell out, “what you’re complaining about is more a factor of socioeconomic status than skin color.”
“Nuh-uh,” retorts Amy, waving her finger at him:
I brought up the case of an ex-assistant of mine who was Korean and a first-generation American, who grew up poor and went to Santa Monica college to save money and earned a scholarship to Northwestern. She didn’t grow up privileged: She grew up Asian.
“So, why can’t more brown people be like yellow people?” Amy asks, as she follows her victim into the parking lot.
“Back off, lady, or I’m calling the cops and getting a restraining order!”
So, Amy goes back into the Starbucks, stands up on a table and starts shouting to the remaining customers.
What I don’t understand is why people who criticize people … for not being black enough to criticize black people don’t see how race-separatist … that is.
Another Starbucks customer starts muttering “racist” under his breath and heads for the door. “I’m not a racist,” Amy shouts, reaching into her oversized man-purse and pulling out a dog-eared paperback dictionary:
Also, I think people should think a little before tossing around the word “racist,” which is defined like so:
rac·ism /?re?s?z?m/ -noun
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.
Well, I guess that settles that.
Before making that accusation, consider whether it’s reasonable to think a person making a criticism can really be thought to hate a group of people due to skin color or some other characteristic. Or…does the person making the criticism merely have antipathy toward a problem that seems somewhat common to a number of people who look a certain way or have something in common?
What bothers Amy about black people isn’t that they are black; what bothers her is that they’re so effing stupid. See, that’s not racist at all. The dictionary said so.
At this point a manager asked to get off the table and leave.
I know, it’s easiest to just dub everybody who disagrees with you a hater and be on your way.
“No, lady, you need to be on your way. Come back in this Starbucks again, and I’m calling the cops. You can finish your pumpkin spice half-soy half-skim decaf latte in the parking lot.”
UPDATE: The inevitable meltdown by Amy.
Read the whole thing in all its demented glory, but pay special attention to her claim that because of Sadly, No! she couldn’t get a Bank of America grant for her program to tell black kids to stop fucking each other. Oh, and bonus points to Amy, who complains about how all blacks suffer from “victimhood,” for playing the victim card herself and comparing Sadly, No! to the folks who used to write “Dirty Jews” on her garage with shaving cream. Amy isn’t just comedy gold, she’s the comedy Hope diamond.
Take no prisoners! Storm the shitmoats!
Erm… you first, though. I just washed these jeans.
Hey, now! No need to insult John Cusack like that. He may be a sloppy drunk, but that’s going a little too far. I’d say that AA looks the way that Bowie would look if he’d gotten stuck in his mid-seventies coke fiend phase up to the present day.
I think an examination of the wingnutosphere proves beyond all doubt, as the Creek and Seminole people I worked with often assured me, that all white people are totally batshit crazy and should be locked up for their own protection.
Racism is just a pigment of the imagination. However, I still know people who spend some of their time trying to guess the race of various contestants in reality shows or claim they can tell the race of someone from a telephone conversation.
Wow, so that Korean employee of Lady Amy of the Shit Moats — the one she kept bringing up during the Tarika Wilson affair — has gone from being an ‘assistant’ to an ‘ex-assistant’ since last we tilted with the Advice Goddess.
How utterly unsurprising. Probably got sick of being Amy’s go-to minority talking point.
“You there! Black man! What is wrong with you black people and your communities???”
Too bad I’ve already been banned from her site.
Hey, you know how occasionally you read about reverse liberal racism, you know, when a lefty bends over backwards to help a brother out and then gets accused of racism thru patronization?
Amy has just taken that to a new, nearly Maslovian level: the reverse reverse racist: “I’m not a racist just because I hate the nigras! Because I actually love them enough to show my hatred right up front, now respect me, dammit!”
We’ve all been banned. But then we’re all just one guy. You are me.
Yeah, I’ve been banned from her site, too, though I have absolutely no idea why. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my reces…never mind. Amy Althouse says Obama is doomed!
The fact is, I’m wondering if she ever explained how she came to “know” who Gary Ruppert is IRL.
Amy certainly has daddy issues.
Is her claim that all three Webster’s definitions must apply?
What I don’t understand is why people who criticize people like Steele (and me) for not being black enough …
News flash, Amy: You’re not ‘not black enough’ … you’re not black at all!
… to criticize black people don’t see how race-separatist and victim-centric that is. I mean, would anybody think to criticize black people, or any color of people, for criticizing white people or some problem they see among whites while not being white?
Of course no one would ever think to criticize black people criticizing white people. That is why Jeremiah Wright is a beloved figure to wingnuts.
I read a dubiously enlightening interview she gave to some guy, and it turns out she dated a black man for a while. Based on the interview, I think her philosophy on race goes something like this:
“Black people – they’re OK to have sex with, but you wouldn’t want them living in your neighborhoods, if you know what I mean.”
She’s probably very angry with me, now.
Amy actually had a double mocha low-fat dumbassichato (inspired by tbogg). Or “the usual” as she calls it.
I must say I never thought that the right-wing would go for performance art and guerilla theater in such a big way.
It was a dark and stormy night. Amy’s car broke down on the freeway and she had to slide down the overpass in stiletto heels and a Chinese silk shantung gown. Amy recklessly ripped the side slits to make it down the slope, and found herself surronded by concrete pillars, chain-link fences and the men civilization forgot. She slipped the heels back on and tottered through the rain to the first house she saw, which crouched like a hungry troll under the freeway.
Amy knocked on the door, and after a long wait it was opened by a figure that blended into the darkness and emitted an intoxicating odor of basement mold, cheese dust, and Kleenex.
“I’ve been waiting for you all my life,” whispered Gary Ruppert throatily, for it was he.
“I don’t know who you are yet, you strange but hypnotic man, but I will. Intimately.” said the androgynous vixen. “And together we shall rule the Underworld, or at least my little dungeon in it.”
Gary wiped his fingers on his sweatpants and drew her in. And the rest is history.
To be fair, I bet the black fellow she was yelling at was wearing baggy slacks, and may or may not have been wearing a ball cap at 45 degree angle. Come on, that would set off any proper white person. Why just the other day, I saw a couple of negros “rapping” with each other whilst walking down the sidewalk. I was like, “yo, homies! Why aren’t you taking care of your kids?!”
So, I can see how Amy felt like she had to step up.
I’m willing to bet the guy “she” argued with in Starbucks was “her” reflection on the side of the expresso machine. Seriously, who the hell starts that sort of conversation with a complete stranger, in LA no less? Don’t they shoot people for making turns without signaling out there?
I thought “she” was. “She’d” be right at home at one of my family gatherings.
Until she opened her mouth.
Does Amy know any black people?
You are me.
And we are all together.
Hey, just a thought, I haven’t been banned from her pathetiblog yet, so if anyone wants to use me as a conduit, I’ll be more than happy to oblige.
You are me.
And we are all together.
The burning question: who is the eggman?
I’m just so glad it’s finally all about ME again.
I’m not getting how getting married to a poor guy with no job and no prospects suddenly catapults you into the middle-class.
When Amy complains about unwed mothers, she thinks she’s complaining about the about the unwed part, but she isn’t really. She’s talking about the mother part — about those children existing at all. She wants to determine who deserves to have children, and poor people don’t meet her qualifications.
N_B: I don’t know, but on a previous thread we determined that John, not Paul, was actually the walrus.
She’s like Althouse after multiple Latte’s and two bottles of red wine (or as Ann knows it, Thursday night). The same victimization but even more illogical.
And I’m wondering, is she trying to grow a beard? I think I see stubble.
N_B: John, of course. And on a previous thread we determined that John, not Paul, was actually the walrus.
Dammit. WordPress hates me again.
I don’t know, but on a previous thread we determined that John, not Paul, was actually the walrus.
John…Bolton?
What? No one has commented on the disconnect between Amy’s accosting strangers in Starbucks with her self-serving rationalizations and her banning comments from people who disagree with her?
It’s called PROJECTION!
Psychology.
a. the tendency to ascribe to another person feelings, thoughts, or attitudes present in oneself, or to regard external reality as embodying such feelings, thoughts, etc., in some way.
b. Psychoanalysis. such an ascription relieving the ego of a sense of guilt or other intolerable feeling.
These fucking sacks of shit take it to a fine art!
If the walrus would just stop whining and exercise some self-responsibility, we wouldn’t need to have this conversation.
I suppose now you you’ll call me a walrusist, but the truth is you’re the walrusist for calling me a walrusist just because I’m making a valid criticism of an entire species. The joker laughs at you, loony-libs!
I admit to a bigoted prejudice against rich, egotistical white chicks who own yappy little dogs.
I’m off to the nearest Starbucks to scream at people about it.
In fairness to her, she’s probably heard “Who’s yer daddy now?” from too many different men.
N__B said,
September 23, 2008 at 17:12
You are me.
And we are all together.
The burning question: who is the eggman?
Cukoo.
HACHOO!
if anyone wants to use me as a conduit, I’ll be more than happy to oblige.
So YOU’RE the happy medium!
Today, Amy’s heading down to the local White Castle in order to complain about the cashiers not counting change fast enough.
Headline for that post: “Why do shiftless, lazy people work at fast food joints?”
My buddy in the landscaping bidness still needs to replace his cracked half-yard bucket on his skip-loader. I gave him Amy’s url, he went there, and IMMEDIATELY offered her work moving dirt with that prognathous jaw of hers…
The important thing is we have irrefutable proof that Amy Alkon is a latte-sipping elitist.
Bleateth Mr. Alkon:
Well, that of course would depend entirely upon the color of that anybody who might want to criticize black or otherly-colored people for criticizing white people.
New words for Mr. Alkon to look up in his Webster’s:
*hegemony
*post-colonialism
That’s so true. We should be intolerant of such women. Especially the black ones. And point out on every possible occasion how concerned we are with that special problem in their particular community.
I’d like to see a single mother rearing her children “lackadaisically.” Oh — I guess that’s how the darkies do it. As for “intentionally,” it’s possible that such a choice could be the result of “daddy” being a violent drunk or a child abuser or a worthless piece-of-shit or addict or some such thing. We are after all talking about the race of the darker persuasion, are we not? I sigh deeply at Mr. Alkon’s fervent desire to have it both ways.
And that antipathy toward that problem that is common to a number of those people who look a certain way could not possibly be interpreted as racism! It’s brotherly and sisterly LOVE! I am obsessed with and criticize blacks because I CARE, you fascist little turds!
OT, and sorry for the depressing subject, but it looks like Georgia will execute a likely innocent man today, link. Please consider writing, calling, or faxing.
FTW! [chortle]
Makes a nice ‘shorter’, as well.
No, no, Missy Amy, it ain’t all my fault, ‘cos you knows I drinks alot, an’ dat damn Debbil he done bought mah soul.
I had no idea that the human cervical spine could hyperextend so dramatically.
That’s quite a talent.
Maybe Amy/Andy could get work in teh porn industry.
You know, films and such.
Oh, my. It seems I may just have to update this.
We’ve all been banned.
I haven’t. I’m off for a bit, but will happily take suggestions on the best thing to say in the process of getting banned. I will storm the shitmoats for my fellow SadlyNaughts!
Why is Amy Alkon obsessed with black people?
The burning question: who is the eggman?
Matt Drudge?
Why wouldn’t she be obsessed with black people? As we all know, whites have eliminated the problem of their poorer elements having children out of wedlock. Whites have also managed to put an end to the scourge of fathers not raising their children, so why can’t blacks?
Besides, Amy knows one whole Asian person who grew up poor and didn’t become a crack-whore, and zero poor black people who did the same! So, quip quo pro, ergo, the problem is solely confined to blacks. No doubt it pains her so to be forced to focus solely on race as a casual factoid, but what other conclusion could she possibly draw?
This is why she always advises against being black, and also why she’s a goddess!
Amy Alkon and the Angry Inch strikes again. Prepare your shit moat people.
Oh, and I’m not banned yet either, because I didn’t have internet during the original shit moat fiasco. If you have any good ideas on the use of this awesome power, lemme know.
All my white girlfriends who are ugly like me got black boyfriends but those damn lazy n*****rs won’t give me a second look.
My anecdotal example of one person trumps centuries of history. That is because I am so special.
HACHOO!
bless you.
I’m not banned either really, because I’ve never posted a comment there. Given the ways in which she deals with those who disagree with her, I’m inclined to keep that record intact.
Nor am I on the banned list. And I’m feeling a little slow this a.m. so feel free to help me get banned. I just can’t understand why the darkies don’t appreciate her more; she’s done so much to eliminate racism in America.
Also, no way did she start harassing some random guy in an LA *$$. You could get away with that shit in some places but not LA.
Since the Blog-Fairy granted her total omniscience, she’s been on a one-woman Crusade to make the Interwebs become a kingdom of mutual civility & politeness (!), & to save all those poor deluded black folks from their own failings … what a gal!
Amy only dislikes the BAD blacks – the ones who don’t do things HER way. The rest of “those people” are just dandy. Her blanket condemnations of “the black community” are merely a function of how UPPITY most blacks are in not taking her kind & loving advice as the inviolable moral code it is. Yep, no racism there, alrighty.
Single-moms are EVIL – Amy’s use of cherry-picked statistics with no context “proves” it! Her ignorance of her subject-matter is no deficit – indeed, it is central to her point – & if you point it out too well, you’re b&, you little turd! It’s not just about being on a pathetic power-trip for her – it’s about shutting up any voice that might weaken her shoddy self-righteous belief-system – because THAT is what free-speech is all about!
I’ll never understand the cluelessness required to talk about vast sociological problems in terms of that one person I know.
Hey Amy, I happen to know a black woman who grew up poorer than you can imagine, and she’s about to finish her degree. She has zero kids. Guess that means black people are just as swell as Asians, eh?
I also have trouble fathoming how someone can claim not to be racist when complaining about all the personal weakness you find in a certain race. It’s not that I have a problem with blacks, I just wish they’d stop being so irresponsible and lazy! Christ, just shut the fuck up and stop making a fool of yourself.
And this person thinks she has the perspective required to give others advice? She’s not qualified to give directions to Broadway, much less direction to a good life.
Okay, I admit it. When I read the Cusack reference which mentions LA, my poor widdle bwain conflated that with Amy (She Wolf if the SS) Alkon’s location. Slight screw up on my part.
Speaking of Amy “Ban Everyone” Alkon, I found this line to be abso-fucking-lutely over the top:
And then I realized, that what she meant was, “only lazy folks leave it at that – you’re supposed to hunt those dissenters down and post their personal information on the intertoobs. Preferably after telling your deranged sycophantic fans that you think that the ‘trolls’ deserve anything that’s coming to them.”
I also have trouble fathoming how someone can claim not to be racist when complaining about all the personal weakness you find in a certain race
I don’t understand it either but it’s a widespread phenomenon.
I am not a racist but…
I am not a homophobe but…
I am not a _______ but…
Hoo-boy. Her commenters really raise the discourse a notch or three too, don’t they though.
Talking about birth control in the water, undoubtedly just for “those people”.
I’m not even sure how to respond to people who are serious about this.
… would anybody think to criticize black people, or any color of people, for criticizing white people or some problem they see among whites…?
Two words: Reverend Wright.
I don’t know why you people hate Miss Amy so much.
This Shit Moat business was foundering on the shoals until Miss Amy revealed to all the immovable object that is the fecal vandalism deterrent barrier.
So thank you, Miss Amy, for letting the the batshit crazy GOPtard loonies know that there is a cost-effective way to let that prospective graffito or sign-stealer know that this property owner is actually willing to smear shit all over the property in order to keep you off it.
Imagine what else they’re capable of. Best to keep moving.
Banned. So banned.
You’ll have to take a pill (or drink bottled water, which now costs more than gasoline) to GET pregnant, and in the meantime we can watch crime and poverty rates drop.
The easily reversible universal contraceptive has long been a goal. (I heard Dr. Guttmacher discuss this 40 years ago.) But I don’t think fluoride is it.
Ask Me About My non-White Friend
So Amy, what’s the deal with all those white folks who want $700,000,000,000 dollars?
I’ll just stick to comparing Amy to other writers, as a hole.
The best thing for reversing contraception is sex in the back seat of a 55 Buick BelAire.
Chevy Bel Air. God, the stupid is catching.
Because how I like to try and win friends and influence people is by attempting to force people I just met on line in a coffeeshop into agreement with an opinion they clearly do not share, then calling their character and intellect into question.
Then I get smacked in the face.
My parents tell me that getting smacked in the face is a sign of affection. They must really love each other.
I don’t really get to talk to any one else about stuff like that. I’m too busy earning slaps of endearment for my insistences that racism isn’t about n****rs, it’s about stupid bastard n****rs.
And the end of the day, when I’m home with both cheeks raw and bloody, I know there are people out there who really do care about me. I’d smile if it didn’t hurt so good.
Reverend Wright is just an anecdotal example of an “angry black person we can vilify then ignore”, but Amy’s Asian friend is a data point.
The Goddamn Batman wins the thread.
Just saw this on teh Google News.
I think we should all be grateful that Amy Alkin owns a little yappy dog and not a giant murderous dog, because for some reason I can just picture her standing in the hallway looking at her neighbor bleeding to death and saying something like “I thought lesbians were supposed to like big dogs, hmph!” before leaving.
Anonymous @ 19:15 was me (forgot to set the username).
The weird thing about having a personalized news page is that it’s easy to get confused and think that what you told it you’re interested in is actually interesting to the world at large. Since I set the location to San Francisco and added a section for “Microsoft”, it sometimes surprises me when I go to Google News and see yet another story about those topics, even though I know it’s only because I told it I care about those topics specifically. I’m certain that the wingnut phenomenon is this writ large. They forget that they’re seeing the world through this twisted prism that makes things and people not what they appear.
I used to read LGF every day after 9/11 (I got better…) so every day was Islamofascist supreme day, and stories like Yasser Arafat’s slowly dying and the latest
Der SturmerCox & Forkum cartoon were part of my day in a way that I realize, in retrospect, was pretty unhealthy in terms of helping to foster a rational understanding of the world and the real challenges we face. Now I read S, N! so the world of news outside my own personal experience consists of equal parts actual news and insane wingnut droolings based on their interpretation of the actual news filtered through layers and layers of pure crazy. Then I read the comments here and realize that I am not alone in seeing the fnords, I mean the crazy wingnuts.I’ll never understand the cluelessness required to talk about vast sociological problems in terms of that one person I know.
Hey Amy, I happen to know a black woman who grew up poorer than you can imagine, and she’s about to finish her degree. She has zero kids. Guess that means black people are just as swell as Asians, eh?
Oh yea? Well, I know a black woman who grew up poorer than your black woman could imagine and she has no kids and two degrees!
And by the way, that’s your moment of zen for the first part of what I quoted from you. It’s true, people believe that bragging “why, some of my best friends…” passes for statistical analysis.
After all, who you gonna believe: your lying eyes or the facts? Why, your eyes of course!
1955 Chevy Bel Air! My folks had one of those, but they stopped breeding in 1950. I guess they used the Nash Rambler. Suddenly, I have a lot more respect for my folks…
They must have been exceptionally lithe and supple people, your parents….
complete with her Korean granny who spoke no English and who’d hang up on anybody who didn’t speak Korean on the phone
How much you want to bet that if any Korean-American even hangs up on Amy for not speaking Korean, we’ll all be treated to a post on immigrants who come over to take over and don’t bother to learn English.
But since it helps bash the blacks, she lets it slide this time…..
Then she’ll totally stalk the Korean grandma and call her repeatedly late at night demanding she speak English.
The weird thing about having a personalized news page is that it’s easy to get confused and think that what you told it you’re interested in is actually interesting to the world at large.
Nobody else is worried about the implications of Cows of the Mesozoic?
Well, if that family were Spanish it would be even more outrageous for Amy.
All
one
dude.
Man, Amy sure does have a point if only there was a counterexample, you kn ow an African American who grew up fatherless, but with good schools who could provide a powerful role model and make her argument look heavily flawed– hey, that guy could probably run for president one day, man that’d make Amy look like a fucking idiot.
Thanks for mentioning that, Jake. Diane Whipple and her partner lived in State College (Penn State) where I met her a couple times. The entire community (not just the alleged gay community) has been hungering for justice for a long time now.
RB,
Does it make me a bad person if, whenever a new species is discovered, I wonder what it tastes like?
Does it make me a bad person if, whenever a new species is discovered, I wonder what it tastes like?
Yes. However it is perfectly normal to place each new species in stomach-churning recipes.
Don’t they all taste like chicken?
It’s true, we taste like ourselves. Don’t ask me how I know that.
Also, the sky is falling.
This snooty bitch is pure concern choad. She trembles at the thought of meeting a black person, even though she’s completely obsessed with them. Her landfill of a website, along with her troglodyte asshole comment taters lapping up this shit, is beyond the realm of discourse. It’s her way, or YOU RACIST OOG RIP HEAD OFF!
So’s the market, down 100.
What about America’s dead beat dad? You know, Mr. Richie Rich who puts himself first.
Demand grows in U.S. for limits to sky-high executive pay
Speaking of gay, and with all due respect and stuff, that young man in front in the picture you’ve got up there looks like he’s got his gangsta robe on backward.
Ms. Tankhead, did you just fart?
Everything is to the back with a little slack
Cause inside-out is wikkity wikkity wikkity wack.
Righteous Bubba said: Nobody else is worried about the implications of Cows of the Mesozoic?
Depends. Any evidence they developed cow tools?
Amy Alkon’s ideal man is the biggest dead beat dad in the history of America. George Bush married America, took off with her money, and left her children to rot. Along the way, he not only abandoned and neglected his neediest kids, but wrecklessly put others in harm’s way.
Oh yeah, and he broke his solemn vow to protect and honour the constitution.
Haha! Two comments at Mr. Alkon’s site and so far NOT BANNED!
PeeJ: Well, s/he does! Excuse my fartiness. I’m traveling incognito today.
Amy said she was taking a nap. Prepare for a refreshed harridan!
Clearly Amy Alkon is a racist because no one should ever say things like that, and because we shouldn’t tell the truth about people. Yes sir, we need to be tolerant, just like our Hollywood friends tell us to be, except for those evil smokers! We should take away their rights, and also the rights of southerners, because they’re evil, too!
The economy is Bush’s fault, because everything bad is his fault, including all the terrorists who never did anything under Clinton’s watch, so we should have made Clinton king! But it’s not fair that our free speech is being restricted, except for when we need to shut up those Christians and…and…DING DONG DILLY, libs! Gotcha! It’s actually me, the Cool Coach, just trying to sound like you loony libs! How did I do? Isn’t the answer obvious? I offered up a SPREAD of SATIRE on you silly socialists! Oh, at it against Amy Alkon again, I see. Wooza-whatever! Too bad the Awesome Alkon dished up a SPREAD of TRUTH you people just couldn’t take!
Badoodle-boo yeah! Urban out!
DING DONG DILLY, libs! Gotcha! It’s actually me, the Cool Coach, just trying to sound like you loony libs!
Once again, I have been gotten.
Amy,
Ugly, stupid and racist no way to go through life.
…
Oh, and no feeding the trolls.
Nobody else is worried about the implications of Cows of the Mesozoic?
After hearing birdsongs of the Mesozoic, not so much.
Hey Amy, why the long face? No penis?… take a letter.
Smokers stink.
She’s just looking for that shit-moat in our eyes
Nobody else is worried about the implications of Cows of the Mesozoic?
Why? They were hardly able to use tools!
We should take away their rights, and also the rights of southerners, because they’re evil, too!
Well…maybe just Texans. Nothing good ever came out of Texas that couldn’t have come frmo anyplace else that was full of shit.
Prepare for a refreshed harridan!
I ordered that at Trader Vic’s to go along with my pina colada. Damn waiter never brought it to me, tho.
They asked me how I knew
My hatred was true
Oh, I of course replied
Something here inside cannot be denied
They said someday you’ll find
All who hate are blind
Oh, when your heart’s a stone
You must realize
Shit gets in your eyes
und so weiter…
In the comments AA said: I’m a writer and I want to be compared to writers as a whole.
I’ll start: Compared to Shakespeare, she is nonexistent.
Dead beat George at work: Treatment delays longer in U.S. poorer areas
In the comments AA said: I’m a writer and I want to be compared to writers as a whole.
I refuse to believe this and will not attempt to verify it.
Still,
Even though I hate the rightwing racists, I also have to take this opportunity to denouce the racists here on the left……
Tee Hee … It’s almost too easy to be a concern troll.
I actually caught parts of the Knoller interview. The phrase “Souless Dead-Eyed Freak” sprang repeatedly to mind.
“Nothing good ever came out of Texas that couldn’t have come from anyplace else that was full of shit.”
Molly Ivins?
“Cows of the mesozoic” were actually wicked cute. And the steaks would be really well-aged by now.
I’m not banned at Amy’s in part because I don’t want to give her my IP address.
Steaks stink.
why should we be “tolerant” of women who intentionally, or lackadaisically, raise children without daddies?
I need more guidelines on this:
Should we tolerate women whose husbands have died–say, maybe in a war or something, I don’t know–and who “intentionally” raise their children alone? What kind of abuse can we heap on those women?
What about women whose husbands left them after they had children? Can we bully these hussies into remarrying immediately or turning their children over to relatives?
And the losers whose husbands have been tossed in prison or are awaiting trial and can’t afford bond? Can we still mock and shame these women if their husband is later exonerated of the crime or just not convicted in the first place? Is there a time limit on how long a woman should wait for her husband before moving on? Where’s the line between “faithless slut” and “stupid single mother”?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Molly Ivins?
Born in Monterey California.
*whew*
I thought you had me there…
I mean, when you start out with this:
Yesterday, I debated a guy I started talking to in Starbucks about the big problem in the black community. He said it was poverty and unequal schools. I said it was daddylessness. I also think there’s a huge problem with victimhood.
Where can you end up except the Twilight Zone?
Daddylessness….gee, what causes daddylessness? Can it be:
– racism in the judicial system, which is documented and statistically verified, whereby black men get longer terms and more convictions for the same crimes?
– poverty, which puts strains on relationships?
– poor schools, which makes it difficult to get good jobs, which increases crime and poverty?
– the other statistically documented fact that the judicial system tends to care much less about black-on-black crime, which increases literal victimhood?
But there we go again, connecting the dots. It;s much simpler to “think” that black people have it hard because it’s all their fault, which is why they have it hard. Pass the caviar?
MONTEREY, CALIFORNIA???? Sheesh… That explains everything!
Should we tolerate women whose husbands have died–say, maybe in a war or something, I don’t know–and who “intentionally” raise their children alone? What kind of abuse can we heap on those women?
This sounds to me like it’s a double helping of abuse! Their husbands died, probably because they were shiftless lasy, lackadaisical wives who didn’t “take care of their men” forcing them to abandon jobs here to go off to war just to get away from the harridans AND now they’re living off the public teat.
“Daddylessness….gee, what causes daddylessness?”
It’s gotta be gun control in “those” neighborhoods. Decent white folks like Sarah Palin load up the ol’ double barreled shotgun and presto-chango we have a wedding and a daddy.
“Nothing good ever came out of Texas that couldn’t have come from anyplace else that was full of shit.”
Mmm….I was thinking of Stevie Ray Vaugh, ZZ Top, Butthole Surfers (I think), Rev. Ivan Stang, and Bill Hicks; also Richard Linklater director of Slacker and Dazed and Confused .
But they are all also are distinctly against the grain of the rest of Texan so-called culture, in being smart and non-racist.
Also re: “should we tolerate” — the alternative to which would be what? Imprison them and take away their kids? Burn the bitches at the stake? Burn the kids at the stake too cuz they’re destined to be nothing but a drain on decent society if and when they grow up anyway?
In the comments AA said: I’m a writer and I want to be compared to writers as a whole.
I’ll start: Compared to Shakespeare, she is nonexistent.
Hell, compared to Piers Anthony, she’s nonexistent.
Says the uber-victim.
Blogging about a random and essentially meaningless conversation she had with somebody in a coffee shop makes her ridiculous. She may as well have been talking about hairstyles or the price of marmalade at the local grocers.
She’s just another self-important airhead with a blog.
Shorter Amy Alkon: I call myself an advice columnist therefore I’m somebody with expertise.
I’ll put up Amanda Marcotte as something good to come out of Texas.
I also have some personal friends down there who are pretty cool, despite coming from that hellhole Houston.
Also, without the vast empty spaces of Texas, we’d lack the high comedy of Paulville residents inevitably murdering each other over water or something. Crap, did I write that out loud? I meant to say that wingnuts shooting each other in their libertarian paradise isn’t at all funny.
“Why do people keep calling me a racist?” I think that if you have to ask that question more than once in your entire life, it’s ’cause you’re a racist. Comprende?
Also re: “should we tolerate” — the alternative to which would be what? Imprison them and take away their kids?
As she already bitches about it, she can’t be said to be tolerating them now. I guess, as a libertarian, she thinks the rest of us should just agree with her and bitch about them, too, while doing nothing. It would be functionally equivalent to what happens now, except for the more people agreeing with her bit.
Burn the bitches at the stake? Burn the kids at the stake too cuz they’re destined to be nothing but a drain on decent society if and when they grow up anyway?
Stakes stink. 😉
Burnt steak stinks.
OT, but Barack is sounding and behaving more and more presidential this week:
http://tpmelectioncentral.talkingpointsmemo.com/2008/09/in_remarks_on_bailout_obama_sh.php
The man waited and THOUGHT ABOUT what should be done, based on the advice of smart people with experience in such matters, and delivered a clear, comprehensive idea of what he believes should be done. What a fucking concept. Can we have a president like this, please?
“I grew up in segregation,” Mr. Steele told me. “So I really know what racism is. I went to [a] segregated school. I bow to no one in my knowledge of racism, which is one of the reasons why I say white privilege is not a problem.”
I beg to differ with Shelby Steele. One need look no further than Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, etc. to realize that white privilege IS a BIG problem. “White privilege” isn’t about white people getting more on a percentage basis than African-Americans. Whites make up over 70% of the population of this country, so that’s pretty much a given. “White privilege” is about certain white people consistently getting more than any of us, black or white, such as: legacy admittees into various schools, members of certain fraternities and sororities, members of select religious groups…. And, of course the spawn of people with more money than brains.
“Hell, compared to Piers Anthony, she’s nonexistent.”
Dr. Seuss > AA
There is no connection between the lack of economic opportunity in this country for black men and the unfortunate prevalence of single black moms, at all. Oy.
The idea that a man is more likely to abandon a family he has no chance to support must be much harder to understand than I realize, considering how many in this country are like Amy and refuse to.
No dissing Dr. Seuss or the chicks with bricks come.
Ripley at 16:53
I read a dubiously enlightening interview she gave to some guy, and it turns out she dated a black man for a while. Based on the interview, I think her philosophy on race goes something like this:
“Black people – they’re OK to have sex with, but you wouldn’t want them living in your neighborhoods, if you know what I mean.”
She’s probably very angry with me, now.
Nah, more like sexually frustrated. Rumor has it that “once you try black, you’ll never go back.” Unfortunately, it’s hard to maintain your wingnut “street cred” while engaged in interracial dating. “Family values” and all….
In the comments AA said: I’m a writer and I want to be compared to writers as a whole.
I’ll start: Compared to Shakespeare, she is nonexistent.
Hell, compared to Piers Anthony, she’s nonexistent.
Compared to any writer, she’s a hole.
See, Amy? Wish granted!
Texas born and sui generis: Mance Lipscomb, Lightnin’ Hopkins, Freddy Fender and the Texas Tornados, Carol Burnett, Scott Joplin, Janis Joplin, LB Motherfucking J.
Mmm….I was thinking of Stevie Ray Vaugh, ZZ Top, Butthole Surfers (I think), Rev. Ivan Stang, and Bill Hicks; also Richard Linklater director of Slacker and Dazed and Confused .
OK, I would cover most of those as being able to come from anyplace else as full of shit as Texas. Good people, great talents, just needed to have a grain to grind against.
“Back off, lady, or I’m calling the cops and getting a restraining order!”
Between this thread and the previous one, the unofficial Australian national anthem comes to mind:
Restraining order, restraining order,
He took out a restraining order on me.
And she sang as she sat there, watching while his bunny boiled,
He took out a retraining order on me.
My dad’s white and rich and he’s a dead beat. How come Amy doesn’t talk about that???
Nothing good ever came out of Texas that couldn’t have come from anyplace else that was full of shit.
Lyle Lovett?
In the comments AA said: I’m a writer and I want to be compared to writers as a whole.
My turn, compared to Thomas F. Dixon, Jr. she’s much less charismatic. I suspect because she has less empathy for others than even he did. Both before and after the cerebral hemorrhage.
OK, Carol Burnett may make me rethink the whole sacrificing Texans at the stake thing.
Nope. Sorry, but Mr. Former Julia Roberts puts them DEF back on my shit list…
House Republican Study Committee: “The solution to this colossal failure in neoliberal policy is more of it.”
Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys.
Ok, other than great music, great writers, great artists, great politicians and great comedians (sometimes all at once), what the hell has Texas given us?!
No dissing Dr. Seuss or the chicks with bricks come.
Nice bottle you’ve got there. It’d be a real shame if some tweedle beetles had a puddle paddle battle in it.
Do you choose to chew goo too sir? Well fuckin’ DO YOU CHOOSE TO CHEW GOO?
OK, Carol Burnett may make me rethink the whole sacrificing Texans at the stake thing.
Ann Richards, Sandra Day O’Connor, River Tam, the webcam chick from American Pie, Belle and Pearl Starr. Texas is a fucking big place – with a fucking lot of folks. I’m sure some of them might even be as nice as Susan.
Dr. Seuss > AA
There’s really no comparing the two.
Dr. Seuss uses words like Constantinople and Timbuktu.
I was gonna go with Willie Nelson on the texas issue.
Just to “put it out there”:
slaveowners often encouraged their, ahem, male property, particular the larger and hardier, er, specimens, to impregnate as many females as possible. and because of the realities of the slave trade, the owners would often break up even those families that did arise as a unit and sell off the, er, parts separately.
so, you know, this sort of family structure was normal for several centuries, as a function of the slave trade. but we all know that’s in the past and water under the bridge etc etc.
Don’t throw Texas out with the bathwater.
http://www.wildlife-rescue.org/
I was gonna go with Willie Nelson on the texas issue.
I’m trying to head off an Iris misogyny attack with some good strong female role models like a girl who masturbates on webcams – otherwise Tex Avery and Steve Martin.
slaveowners often encouraged their, ahem, male property, particular the larger and hardier, er, specimens, to impregnate as many females as possible
Citation, please.
I did not know that Tex Ritter was John Ritter’s dad.
Wow, right winger Diane Francis loudly condemns Republicans. I never thought I’d live to see the day. Her specialty is finance so um, I guess there was no way of getting around reality this time.
Verse 2:
Squalor and sordor, restraining order,
Who’ll slather on Estee Lauder with me?
And she sang as she sat there, watching while his bunny boiled,
He took out a restraining order on me.
also:
Other famous Texans of note:
Janis Joplin
Buddy Holly
Barbara Jordan
Anne Richards
Willy Nelson
Roy Orbison
Lightnin’ Hopkins
and Molly Ivins. Houston native.
J–:
It was mentioned in Ned Sublette’s book, “The world that made New Orleans : from Spanish silver to Congo Square”, which is pretty well referenced.
I wasnt aware that this was in dispute though, as my experience as a kennel-hand was that this was just SOP – you put the best males out to stud. seems completely reasonable that this would be the case when you’re breeding humans for labor stock, too.
Okay okay! Smut’s a jolly wag man.
Ahem.
(Although actually I was born in Mountain View, California.)
why should we be “tolerant” of women who intentionally, or lackadaisically, raise children without daddies?
The concept of “minding one’s own feckin’ business” is the first demon you must slay before you become an advice coumnist.
I will spare you any further verses about “defending the border” from the “armies of Mordor”.
I will spare you any further verses about “defending the border” from the “armies of Mordor”.
Aha! You are BILL WHITTLE.
There’s your problem. We’re still not certain if AA has a mind but whatever she has rolling around between her ears certainly lacks the capacity for inquiry.
Or empathy.
Or logic…
You guys are being totally unfair by comparing Amy A. to all these famous writers. How does she stack up against her peers? I think she compares pretty favorably to Gary Ruppert for instance.
I think she compares pretty favorably to Gary Ruppert for instance.
Coach Urban Meyer writes ringadingdings around her.
Amy/Andy has an open invitation, valid forever, to suck my balls.
She can also coddle them; nibble on the ballsack lightly with her teeth; caress them with her feet; or rub them with her cheek (either cheek).
However – and this is an important caveat – she may never, under any circumstances, ever, take off her own clothes.
There are some things that I just don’t want to know.
Aha! You are BILL WHITTLE.
Laugh if you must at Bill Whittle and his visionary architecture, but I suspect that future generations will remember him for the innovation of including punctuation marks in the name of his imaginary wish-fulfillment city ‘Ejecta!’. The man is a trend-setter.
Good morning, gentlemen. This is a twelve-storey block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed.
Snarkle, I don’t know why you would place something so vulnerable in the care of such a vile, nasty creature. You are a braver, or more masochistic, man than I.
I’m not naming names
Rightwingsnarkle, but there’s some things you’ll permit that I don’t want to know.Ed Chen of Bloomberg blurted out, “Is this now the No Talk Express?”
The money shot for me would be front-page photographs of government-induced foreclosures in Palm Beach and Palm Springs of Wall Streeters’ mansions, stock portfolios, Porches and private jets.
No porches for you, bastards! From now on, you’ll have to sit on a stoop!
Both races are guilty. The European-Americans refuse to recognize differential opportunity structures within Western civilization, and African-American culture uses such differential opportunity structures as a crutch.
Then again, what would I have to say about this Starbucks discussion. I’m just a…
Starbuckaroo
Dr BLT
http://www.drblt.net/music/Starbuckaroo.mp3
I suspect that future generations will remember him for the innovation of including punctuation marks in the name of his imaginary wish-fulfillment city ‘Ejecta!’. The man is a trend-setter.
I believe it comes with its own musical.
slaveowners often encouraged their, ahem, male property, particular the larger and hardier, er, specimens, to impregnate as many females as possible
Citation, please.
I think he’s using Greek, James “Jimmy” T.
Another plus for Texas: Steve Earle
Compared to Alkon, Barbara Cartland is Eudora Welty.
Doug Sahm, George Jones, Johnny Winter, Waylon Jennings…
In Alkon’s defense I really did like “go to directly jail.”
..over at amy’s
…ah, “I, Amy Alkon”, I’m sure there’s a greek term for this false humility – we know that you know that we know that you think that you’re “truly what matters”
I was born in Abilene, Texas, and currently live in Lubbock.
I will freely admit that we got our share of dumbass motherfuckers. I will also note that we got a shitload of people who ooze awesomesauce out of every pore.
And it wouldn’t be hard for me to say the same for any other state.
Not like there’s an election on or anything, or the country is on the verge of financial collapse
If I’d made such a comment on her site – in other words, more important things to write about than your opinion on black dads – I would have been banned.
“I, Amy Alkon”
…
“I. Robot”
coincidence? …
not that I can comment because I am already banned for asking her a polite question, which she answered. She left her answer up and erased my question, which seems odd.
Mr. Trotsky:
“The black is a better athlete to begin with because he’s been bred to be that way — because of his high thighs and big thighs that goes up into his back, and they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs. This goes back all the way to the Civil War when during the slave trading, the owner — the slave owner would breed his big black to his big woman so that he could have a big black kid.”
I think the assertion that “blacks are naturally more athletic” is the actual racist bit here, not the assertion that slaveowners attempted to maximize their earning potential in this way. the latter is a statement of the historical record, the former is opinion borne of stereotype.
i don’t think it unseemly to suggest that the black single-mother families that conservatrolls constantly rail about are in fact a legacy of slavery (as well as the continued racism of law enforcement and the penal system). several centuries of treating people as property, and breaking up families in order to maximize profit seems like it might take a toll on the family structure, you know?
I, Balullah Tankhead, have been banned at this creature’s site! What’s more, s/he has disappeared all of my comments, rendering extant responses and allusions to me and my remarks nonsensical! I am deeply deeply outraged! This hasn’t happened to me since the last time I tried to post a comment at some other site, Tennessee Guerilla Grrls or some such thing.
They’re all clearly jealous of me, Balullah Tankhead. Those bitches!
…more from amy (re banned/unpublished comments)
!?!?!? consensus commenting – sounds like fun – shall we try it?
… post a comment at some other site, Tennessee Guerilla Grrls or some such thing.
Oh darn it. Just when I had forgotten all about them crazy ppls!
In other news, she actually did write “I, Amy Alkon.” Perhaps she thought she was satirizing Ann Althouse? She also excreted this:
“People hated Jews where I grew up, but I didn’t focus on it except to say ‘I’ll show them.’ I didn’t have friends, but I didn’t sit around wallowing in that. I read books and got away from all the assholes and out of the state, in fact, as soon as possible.”
Huh. Almost like she’s parodying her own self.
ckc (not kc): Go for it. You may be the only one left here who hasn’t been banned.
…oh, I’ve been banned there several times under different names/addresses – lost interest in the process – it’s more fun to comment here (I’m sure they’re all reading us anyway).
In other news, a grand jury has declined to indict the University of Tennessee student/son of a Democratic state legislator accused of hacking Sarah Palin’s e-mail.
I’m sure a sheepish apology from the entire rightwingnuttosphere will soon be forthcoming.
I’m sure a sheepish apology from the entire rightwingnuttosphere will soon be forthcoming.
AKA, screeching and wailing like there’s no tomorrow, followed by the traditional fight song:
We are the Victims…
Amy sought to escape from her childhood tormenters by emulating them, only differing from them in her choice of targets.
Or they’ll just accuse the great state of Tennessee as retroactively part of the elitist Northeast liberal enclave, as should’ve been so obvious thanks to Gore’s residence there.
Well, at least Amy has 6 people reading her blog. (Unless they’re all the same person).
ah, the halcyon days of the Alkon Incident. I mostly remember Brian, momof3 (?), and the ever-popular Crid. A trio of eejits.
…here’s more of Amy’s fine-tuned insight
Why is Amy talking about herself and her imaginary Starbucks conversations when there’s an election on and the nation’s on the verge of a financial collapse?
Country first, Amy! Country first…
Between Rusty and techdude, it won’t be long before learn what really happened in that Chattanooga courthouse.
That just had to be a Chicago city comptroller wearing a Yes, We Can ballcap carrying a box of files out the front door while the media was gathered around back.
Sharpen your pencils, citizen-journalists!
If there were purposeful attempts at breeding by slave-owners in the antebellum South, they were isolated. There was no systemic breeding of the enslaved for sale on the local or interstate market. See Time on the Cross.
The most fundamental, most important, and most staunchly defended unit of social organization among the enslaved in the United States was the family.
For a simpler and for me more compelling explanation of female-headed, single-parent households among African-Americans in the contemporary United States, see a different brad’s comment above at 22:24.
Hey, no one’s talking about me!!! Fuckin’ liberals!!!
My book is out, btw. Read all about it on my website.
the kid’s name is Kernel? awesome.
(…psst – Amy!)
http://www.ins.gov/graphics/services/natz/citizen.htm
Immigration and Naturalization Services
“The 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution guarantees citizenship at
birth to almost all individuals born in the United States or in U.S.
jurisdictions, according to the principle of jus soli”
Once in awhile, AA writes something that makes sense. From the post post previous to her Starbuck’s argument:
It saddens me that Amy Alkon is the musical interlude while we wait for the bail out plan.
…maybe one of you unbanned (=undead?) folk might want post this (above at 2:02) in the comments of here her anti-immigrant rant (not that it won’t be immediately “unpublished” – and you banned).
“here her” = her
(har har)
Lesley said,
September 24, 2008 at 2:07
It saddens me that Amy Alkon is the musical interlude while we wait for the bail out plan.
Have some momentary happiness, Lesley.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The People Get It
New poll:
Sept. 24 (Bloomberg) — Americans oppose government rescues of ailing financial companies by a decisive margin, and blame Wall Street and President George W. Bush for the credit crisis. By a margin of 55 percent to 31 percent, Americans say it’s not the government’s responsibility to bail out private companies with taxpayer dollars, even if their collapse could damage the economy, according to the latest Bloomberg/Los Angeles Times poll.
-Atrios 19:33
~
Sam Houston (opposed Texas’ secession and supported the local Indian tribes)
Gail Borden (inventor of condensed milk!)
Claire Chennault (started “Flying Tigers” in China, later Burma)
Chester Nimitz (Commander, US Pacific Fleet)
Oveta Culp Hobby
Lloyd Bentsen
Henry Cisneros
Dwight Eisenhower
Wes Anderson
Carol Burnett
Gene Autry
Buddy Holly
Babe Zaharias
Larry McMurtry
Linda Ellerbee
Dan Rather
Walter Chronkite
and, um… me.
“Oveta Culp Hobby”
you’re clearly just making names up.
All.
One.
Guy.
The thing to remember about Texas is that between Houston, Dallas-Fort Worth, Austin and San Antonio there are about 6-7 million real liberal people, maybe more. There’s a lot of smart people, more than a few really good colleges and universities (Rice, UT-Austin, Trinity, Southwestern and others).
Houston and Dallas have thriving arts and gay communities… Austin is a great place to live by anyone’s standard (well, unless you don’t like hot summers).
That being said – I spent more than enough time there as a child and have no desire to return.
I didn’t even mention Ima Hogg!
(real person, no shit)
Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys.
Thank you Thunder for that heartening report. Everything I’ve been reading today from op eds to news articles suggests the bail out is a shit plan to save the wealth of financial industry fat cats and nobody’s having it. Geez, even Diane Francis called Bush and Paulson financial terrorists. I never thought I’d see that happen.
ckc (not kc) said,
…maybe one of you unbanned (=undead?) folk might want post this
The only unbanned person here is Amy Alkon (yes, she’s lurking).
Done and done, ckc. Somebody set up the betting pool on how long it lasts.
Austin is a great place to live by anyone’s standard (well, unless you don’t like hot summers).
Or oversized flying cockroaches that are attracted to light.
When I lived there, we’d sit in the dark during the summer, just so the roaches wouldn’t land on the lamps. And you sure couldn’t wear a white shirt, or they’d land on you…
I didn’t even mention Ima Hogg!
Nor did you even mention her sister, Yura.
The only unbanned person here is Amy Alkon (yes, she’s lurking).
How do you know?
…well done, Who wuz it?… the start time is:
Posted by: Somed at September 23, 2008 5:18 PM
Well, that’s just sad. And a bit puzzling.
As a geeky bookworm with the added handicap of always being the new kid in school, I nonetheless managed to make at least one friend in each place. By third grade, I had a working strategy where I drifted over to the other fringe people… and found them to be intelligent, funny, and sweet. Just like me 🙂
To state this about a childhood which was seemingly spent in one place… that would have to mean they started disliking her in kindergarten, and never stopped.
Says a lot.
WWTZ
(who knows what time zone)
Jim Hightower
Fab T-Birds
Antoines (legendary blues club in Austin where I once saw Stevie Ray and BB King on stage together after being called out from the audience. Most awefuckingsomefuckingness EVAH.)
But that’s about all I can add.
J–:
ah, perhaps I overgeneralized. a large part of the Sublette book is devoted to the period before american independence, when slaves were still being actively imported from africa. new orleans, as a port city, was also not necessarily reflective of the antebellum south as a whole, i guess. mea culpa.
John Cusack in drag? Methinks CarrotTop in street clothes.
[Amy] I didn’t have friends
John McCain had no friends for 5-1/2 years, and you don’t hear him going on about it, do you?
Wait. What do you mean, no friends? John McCain? 5 and a half years? Could somebody explain?
John McCain had no friends for 5-1/2 years, and you don’t hear him going on about it, do you?
Cute but not true according to many. They would say his friends during those years had little (yellow was it?) stars on their uniforms.
And now, for something completely different, I went looking for images of those insignia and ran across the most wonderfully guanoheaded creature I’ve seen in a looong time. How have I managed to miss theodoresworld.net all this time? Take a peekie peek – it’s delish.
PS – she even features the following near the top of her page:
“Glenn Reynolds says…
“Those dolls, all those dolls. I can’t sleep at night, thinking about those dolls.”
Wait. What do you mean, no friends? John McCain? 5 and a half years? Could somebody explain?
Following the Keating fiasco people were pissed.
http://theodoresworld.net/
MY…BRAIN,,,HURTS!!!!
comma=period
Sarah Palin = Bible Spice
14th Amendment seems to be a thread-killer over at old Amy’s (or maybe Crid is just “thinking”)
My wife and I drove to visit my son at Ohio University on Sunday. At the Bob Evan’s, I picked up a copy of the college newspaper, and there on the cover was a boxed picture of Amy. My wife and son were very impressed that not only did I know who she was, but I also knew that Amy’s neighbor had a dog-shit moat. Thanks, Sadly, No!
People of neo=classical governmnetish building! Your look screams early Eno, or perhaps a fabdub for breaking out th dubbin’
BUT WHERE IS THE SHIT MOAT? LAUARIE”S gonna shart poking her tits at people unless we get to the SHIT MOAT!
Ohio Shit moats are among the best and the shittiest.
ckc,
Would you believe that I’ve already trademarked the comm-lipsis ,,,™?
Wir machen der erste und beste scheissbooten in DER VELT!!
OK, what about ;;; (!!!)
(typos – I’ve got a million of them!)
(or 700,000,000,000 – yours cheap)
!kc,
That’s some advanced punctuating. Clearly you are an elitist. Those exclamation points look suspiciously like arugula or lattés or something else extremely elitist.
NEIN! NEIN!
Ihre schiessebooten sind undichter Abfall!!
Zahlen Sie mir meine Geldweibchen!!!
Does Bible Spice like kissing girls? If so, she’s in, but no preggys… we’ve already got the fat one!
Or oversized flying cockroaches that are attracted to light.
Palmetto bugs. Here in the deep, deep south we just put bridle and bit on them and have them haul out the trash. Sure they can’t fly after that, but do you want that stuff going aerial?
Once again, we have to put up with the “country bumpkin” southeners routine.
I’m a transplant “yankee”. Been in the south for 32 years.
Remind me again, which state voted for Mitt Romney as their governor, and what city elected Rudy Guiliani as their mayor? Or, for that matter, what locale “Ace of Spuds” and Micheal Savage hail from?
BTW, and have you ever spent time in Scranton PA, Toledo OH, or Fitchburg MA? I ‘m pretty sure Bill Moyers or Stephen Colbert grew up in one of those progressive towns.
ALLL ABOOOOAAARRRDDD
We’re going on a three hour cruise
a three hour cruise
in the Cuyahoga River
with your captain
Oveta Culp Hobby
Oveta Culp Hobby
I’m afeared of going back to Alkon-land, but I was just wondering if she’s mentioned all the countless hours she spends volunteering at inner-city schools lecturing the teenagers to keep it in their pants.
Why do all these Hollywood stars go to Iraq and tell people they go to Iraq, but they can’t show you what they’re doing or where they are in Iraq or else the terraists will blow them to kingdom come. I was hanging out in the Shopette in Taji buying Cokes and hot dogs for a few people that came by… someone finally recognized me and asked for the weed.
Shalom, gentlemen.
9! 9!
(now I’m all confused “Figure you to me my money-females”????)
I know, especially since it would allow her to entertain all six of her
readerspersonalities with two popular WingSlut opinions:1. If a brown guy gets in power he’ll do something dreadful and brown-guyish to all the non-brown people.
2. The current market collapse is completely the fault of brown people.
Maybe we’ll have to wait until she can find a Starbucks that hasn’t banned her.
I call your attention to the Toiletship Rücksichtslos on pages 448-456 of “Gravity’s Rainbow”.
Idaho Vandal cheerleaders dress like WHORES
http://www.mediafire.com/imageview.php?quickkey=1me1tyb3t9m&thumb=5
Dean, as an OU alum I want to know why Amy was in the college paper!
It saddens me that Amy Alkon is the musical interlude while we wait for the bail out plan.
Not me. I had fun today. It’s been a while since that happened.
schießen Sie das mutherfucker
Wheee! Swampland be representing at the WOTD wank-offs. Joe “neither the time nor the legal expertise” Klein’s had stretches where he was a regular in that spot, and I’m pretty sure both sell-out Wonkette and Jay Newton-Small have managed to capture at least one each too. That means that of the cast it appears only Karen Tumulty (and I’m not sure about her) and GOP consultant Mike Murphy have managed to dodge the tag. That is FUCKING rich.
what kind of Toiletship takes up 8 pages?
(this is NOT a rhetorical question)
OMG!! IOWAHAWK BRINGS TEH FUNNY!!
http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2008/09/clockwork-o-rag.html
HA HA! IT’S FUNNY ‘CAUSE IT’S TRUE!!11!
what kind of Toiletship takes up 8 pages?
Pynchon likes his detailed descriptions.
or might be, if anyone bothered to click the link..
Gravity’s Rainbow….many years ago….neurons dead…
Anonymous: Stephen Colbert grew up in Charleston, SC. Not exactly what one might call a “progressive” city.
Well, I just did some digging.
Ana Marie – Wanker of April 30, 2006
Joke Line – Wanker of many days
Karen Tumulty – Wanker of June 18, 2006
Jay Carney – Wanker d’au jourdh’ui
Jay Newton-Small – Free of the label, but only due to being small fry.
Michael Scherer – Much coveted double wank just last week
Mike Murphy – GOP consultant. Strategist for McCain 2000 campaign. Only non-wanker in the bunch – (probably due to low volume).
During the last shitfight I inferred that 1) she looks like Cruella De Vil 2) she had the face of a horse (harsh but true) and, although the comments quickly disappeared, I am yet to be banned.
Could it be that she truly is a puppy killing horse fancier?
Tell Iowahawk that he doesn’t need to continue a tired old movie parody for more than a couple paragraphs. I personally didn’t make it through the 1st paragraph, because I’ve seen A Clockwork Orange and I don’t need to read 10000 words of droogisms to get the joke that “Obama wants you to commit ultraviolence BWAHAWHAWHAW OMG IT IS TO FUNNY FOREVER.”
You’re a moron, booger.
Bill Moyers was born in Oklahoma and grew up in Texas.
0 for 2, Anonymous.
The fact is, everyone’s chiming in on the financial mess, but we have yet to hear a better idea than that set out by our Treasury secretary and Fed chief. Congress should act on it without further showboating or delay.
Watching the same politicians who created this mess grill Mssrs. Paulson and Bernanke yesterday about what they intend to do about it was almost surreal.
Where, for example, does Chris Dodd, chairman of the Senate Banking Committee and the leading recipient of Fannie Mae campaign cash, get off acting so self-righteously when he and his panel were asked to move quickly on the administration’s $700 billion rescue plan?
“I understand speed is important,” Dodd huffed, “but I’m far more interested in whether we get this right.”
Get this right? Who is he kidding?
By now, everyone in the U.S. and beyond should know that if Connecticut’s senior senator and his Democratic colleagues had “gotten it right” from the start, and if they’d fixed the problem when they had the chance, there wouldn’t be a need for the crisis hearings he’s now conducting.
Hubris and hypocrisy aside, it’s important to recognize the legislation for what it is — a rescue, not a bailout, of the financial system. Taxpayers will not be left “holding the bag.” The government will buy these mortgage securities at 20 or 30 cents on the dollar and eventually sell them at higher prices.
How much higher, and how far into the future, no one knows. But even if the government doesn’t make a profit in the end, the loss will be nothing like the trillion dollars that fear mongers and doomsayers throw around.
In fact, the plan is very close to the one set up in the savings-and-loan crisis of the 1990s to dispose of failed thrift assets.
As Paulson put it so plainly, Job One in this situation is to restore confidence in the financial system by unclogging a credit market that has come close to freezing up. If this can be achieved with minimal government intervention, and without investing too much power in the Treasury and Fed, so much the better.
Leave it up to Congress, however, to take a narrowly focused plan that’s been kept simple (three-and-a-half pages) and adorn it with every gewgaw — from more help for homeowners to limits on bank executives’ pay — on Congress’ wish list.
Really, that’s enough.
Like many others, we wish we had the luxury to let “the market” take care of this problem in its own way. But sadly, we’re well beyond that point. Letting the system crash and burn and the world economy melt down is a political nonstarter for any president or Congress.
The plan before Congress is clear, transparent and minimalist. It’s been drawn up by competent and highly experienced officials who have truly risen to the occasion.
The market is waiting. The time to act is now.
Yes, Investor’s Business Daily writes editorials.
“…we have yet to hear a better idea…”
Even if true (unlikely), what kind of a piss-ass argument is that for a “plan” that changes the rules and turns everything upside down.
Try. Again.
J— said,
September 24, 2008 at 4:20
Yes, Investor’s Business Daily writes editorials.
For morons.
PS. quoting verbatim without attribution is theft, Gary
This is more fun than Amy Alkon
I don’t know, thunder. Check this out:
Pull “I’m convinced” out of fucked-up blockquote.
Watertiger’s on a roll today.
http://www.dependablerenegade.com/dependable_renegade/
I’ve also learned from Investor’s Business Daily that the whole sub-prime mortgage problem is Jimmy Carter’s fault.
I wuz gonna say sumpin snarkishful ’bout anybody what kin cite Pynch
eon likea dat but I’se drunk now so fuggit. Gin, blessed gin.And fuck youse WordPress, the strike tag useta work.
I have sort of an embarassing thing to bring up.
I’ve never been banned from anywhere, be it on the internet or in real life. Not saying I haven’t tried, it’s just never happened. Just saying it makes me feel like the world’s most banal troll.
I think I can pull off getting banned from Alkon’s place. She easy, and I’ve been living vicariously though her and Clif’s on-again-off-again relationship. As long as Clif’s cool with it, I’d like to give it a shot.
So, for the lack of anything better to bring up in those awkward moments right before the deed, could you guys please give me some things to say over there? You know, things that will really get Amy in the banning mood?
Please list them below.
Signed, Rich in Spirit, CO.
I learned that, too. I think that was behind the original roll-out of the “ZOMG, it’s the blax and the lierberals!!!one1!, that I first encountered here.
Damn these thuglicans are stupid.
I have Pynchon to thank for a little piece of doggerel that will likely be the only coherent thing I’m able to say on my deathbed:
It’s colder than the nipple on a witch’s tit,
Colder than a pile of penguin shit.
Colder than the hair on a polar bear’s ass,
Colder than the frost on a champagne glass.
That’s also one of the few bits of the book that I actually understood.
But it was good, though.
Lebowski, feel free to use Pynchon’s little ditty to piss off Amy/Andy.
the millionaire etc.
Well, apparently the 14th amendment is “non grata” (just disappeared from her anti-immigrant rant), so I would guess that just about anything rational would do the trick.
Signed, Rich in Spirit, CO.
Rich in Spirit, ask her how many times she’s dreamed of sleeping with Obama.
Sincerely yours,
BannedConnections
I learned that, too. I think that was behind the original roll-out of the “ZOMG, it’s the blax and the lierberals!!!one1!, that I first encountered here.
Wow, texican pushes it back to LBJ. texican clearly does know a little sociology, customs, lifestyles, economics, etc.
“could you guys please give me some things to say over there? You know, things that will really get Amy in the banning mood?”
Just mention you read SadlyNo. You’ll be banned instantly.
btw, can anyone help me out here? I’m trying to figure out how a product that is “made in China” can be called Europe’s Best Vegetables. 2nd question. Should I risk eating it?
Nixon? Ford? Reagan? Bush? lil tiny shrub?
Never heard of ’em. Victims, all.
It was the lieberals and the blacks, working the levers of power with their iron-fisted hands.
Probably, teh gaiis helped.
The Jew is using the black as muscle against you. And you are left there helpless. Well, what are you going to do about it, whitey? Just sit there?
Well, so far, so awkward.
I decided to take the low road, trying to bring out her inner bigot before really getting into it. Hopefully, we should see the real side of Amy soon, and my banlessness removed.
Hey, that name looks a little funny.
Now that the Alkonoid has banned me, I may as well come clean. It was I who vandalized Amy Alkon’s site by bringing up filth like the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution, the Supreme Law of the Land. After all, wasn’t it the 14th Amendment that is ultimately responsible for the epidemic of vile blacks crapping out litters of fatherless children?
What’s that you say? When black people were slaves they often had their fathers sold away? Well, maybe if they hadn’t been so ungrateful to massa for graciously giving them a shack to live in and steady work, massa wouldn’t have had to do that!
Alkon, I know you’re reading this. Fuck you, you worthless piece of shit.
Just as a general theory of commenting question, wouldn’t a proxy server confuse banning methods?
If she’s not banning entire ISPs, then all you need to do is cycle your modem. In other words, unplug it for thirty seconds.
t_m_l
I think her inner bigot is actually an outer bigot – you are so banned!
Loneoak said,
September 24, 2008 at 5:25
Just as a general theory of commenting question, wouldn’t a proxy server confuse banning methods?
Not if your host is a sophisticated computermaprofessional like Amy, Loneoak.
That’s my layman’s opinion, and I’m sticking to it until smarter folks tell me something else.
It would. Some webservers are even so dumb as to accept the client’s professed hostname and address as their real IP address. You can get around bans that way, sometimes.
Okay, naybe I wasn’t being very forthcoming when I said I was banless…
Hey, that name looks a little funny.
If only someone would provide a kind of letter rearranging service, that we could use to generate new noms-de-net.
Saith Tom
Moist hat
oath mist
this atom
toast him
Ah it’s Tom
O sham tit
I like this nym. From now on, you will all address me as It wuz me, Jrod!
Not Jrod. Say the whole thing!
A Pimp Named SlickbackIt wuz me, Jrod!OH NO!
Amy’s webserver must be having some problems! That Poom Oat post after mine has disappeared!
Those aren’t Poom Oats you can Depends™ on, my friends.
Fucking taken!
OT, but over at the Poorman Institute, Kenmeer Livermaile has discovered the perfect image for the Paulson Splurge.
Wow, I knew the Republicans were depressing fuck-ups of the highest order, capable of turning a surplus into the world’s biggest deficit, but now they’ve even managed to depress the Sun…
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
In Vienna we blog from the Cafe Balkan
Banned Connections, Amy Alkon.
“People hated Jews where I grew up, but I didn’t focus on it except to say “I’ll show them.” I didn’t have friends, but I didn’t sit around wallowing in that. I read books and got away from all the assholes and out of the state, in fact, as soon as possible.
I met a guy this weekend, a guy with M.S., I think, named Tom, who barely had any use of his hands and arms, let alone the rest of him. He was on a motorized chair, and accompanied by his blond lab, “California.” I would have been afraid, if I were in his muscular condition, to even motor across my living room. Here was this guy who went to Starbucks, ordered coffee, went to Subway, came back with a sandwich — one he could barely unwrap, by the way — for him, it was like changing a tire would be for the average person. And this guy, most amazingly, had the most sunny demeanor and seemed just thrilled to be out, about, and alive.”
I just checked in over at the AA blog and skimmed the censored comment thread. I came across this comment from the windbag herself.
First, Amy makes quite an assumption. She thinks that her lack of friends as a kid is due to antisemitism. What if it were simply that she was a little twerp then too? And if she didn’t focus on it, why did she feel as though she needed to run away? And if she didn’t focus on it, why is it so vivid in her memory?
Second, I didn’t think anyone would trade so openly on the “cheerful cripple” line as she does here. Pretty insightful anecdote.
Norbizness deserves at least 316 comments for his post today.
Ooopps! I missed the mention of Amy’s “I was an oppressed young twerp, so I had to move away” passage someplace back around comment #237
…the “cheerful cripple” goes nicely with her Korean “ex-assistant”. She has quite a menagerie (Walt would be proud).
That Poom Oat post after mine has disappeared!
I don’t understand. It was the oatiest.
Timothy Leary’s Brillat Savarin cheese Stroganoff
Ingredients:
1 tiger
3 portions argumentative Brillat Savarin cheese
1 ethical plastic curd cheeses, communicatively glazed
4 bags fiery hog foot
1 bag jasmine
5 cans dill
Sacrifice a nearby reindeer or a creature of similar size. Discard remains with care. Separate tiger tail from egg. Consume egg. Stir the Brillat Savarin cheese with the plastic curd cheeses over low heat in a bag. Stuff the resulting goo into the tiger. French – very cat-like – the hog foot, jasmine, and the dill. Spread the latter combination on to the former. Roast for 107 hours. Serves 4.
OT but quite juicy:
Seems some of them folks down Wall Street way are about to get some unwanted attention.
New Hot Stock Tip – Horseshoe Magnet Futures – these beauties will double as good-luck charms & handy-dandy no-muss-no-fuss hard-drive “cleaners”! I also smell a killing to be made in the adult-diaper market – because a lot of those stock-pimps will be shitting themselves in 4, 3, 2 …
RB could be the head chef at Hogwart’s Academy.
Jebus, I took a look at Alkon’s site for the first time in weeks, and was stunned anew at what a hateful bunch of petty, vindictive fuckwits they are.
Crid the Crud. And good ol’ momof3, whose children I pity. And pathetic brian sans brain. The queen bee herself needs years of therapy.
Hey, isn’t Crid supposed to be some kind of a super computer sleuth? You’d think he could figure out blockquotes and italics, wouldn’t you?
Oh goodie, Jim. It’s going to be impossible for the gov’t to extend a bail out to any company under criminal investigation.
The woman is a professional advice-giver. That means that even when there’s no one around, she is practicing her craft. I take it that half the scenarios she commits to turning into socially-conscious anecdotes are figments of her imagination. I tell you the truth that I went on her blog to confront one idiot about his imagined exchange with so-called “liberals” taking up arms against McCain because it was trendy to do so. I asked the idiot point blank why would he ever argue with clearly deranged individuals. Before the idiot could answer the question, I’m engaged by a simpleton believing that peppering his Internet White Knight-like defenses of the red-headed muppet with barbs about Obama & teh black people would enrage me. That is the tactic these self-aggrandizing morons: offering up nonsense to argue over in order to purport their self-worth. They offer up grandiose forms of conversations that drunk or high fuckers have in cab rides home on a Friday or Saturday morning. Morons like this red-headed nobody you all seem intent on exalting in order to pick on live for this type of shit. Ignore her and soon she’ll switch up her steeze, and talk up the strengths of fatherless niggers and chickenheads having hustlers’ babies. This is a challenge, however, since there are so many White Knights that will support her idiocy because of her gender. See, you have to understand how this stuff works. I used to frequent that Michelle Malkin site back when the GOP primary was in full swing, and noticed the pattern of male sycophants rallying to the Asian fascist’s defense. It was squarely because she was a submissive chick of a blustery nature espousing idiotic ideology that got these dudes to defend her nonsense. It was after a while that I got bored with the goings on on that site and began a search for some stable site that allows free-thinking. My search is still incomplete. But this red-head is not as fascinating as you all seem to think she is. She a little girl lost within her tea party. Trendoids have a tendency to sound really stupid when they leave the realm of Celebrity Gossip, hence her propensity for reading like a bigot when she’s really saying nothing more than what the average bourgie black bitch says when no one is looking.
That’s a lot of stuff I wrote, eh? Two quarters of it actually makes sense, I suppose – maybe even less.
Whatever, man.
The last days are here, everyone.
Play X-Box, fornicate, do drugs, compose fleetingly witty blogposts – whatever tickles your fancy.
The time has come.
I’m admittedly a little horrified that the_millionaire_lebowski is trying to “lose it” to Alkon. I hope she’s gentle…
Totally OT, but have you guys seen Tommy Friedman’s newest crime of a column? He actually employs the phrase pull[ing] back from [one’s] own brink of self-destruction. Whose brink of self-destruction does he think one could pull back from, if not one’s own? Also, how can a brink belong to anybody anyway? What a fucking clown-show our media are.
That’s not sociology I can believe in.
Sorry, the above is from Alkon’s anti-Sadly rant, in case that wasn’t clear.
Okay. People who read Isaac Asimov become smarter. People who read you become stupider.
She’s getting boring. I demand a ‘vomit lawn sculpture’, a ‘diarrhea slide’ or at the very least least a ‘piss fountain’ from the Advice Goddess, NOW.
DA, maybe I could get my cat to cough up a furball for you?
Hey, only tryin’ to help!
Nothing good ever came out of Texas that couldn’t have come from anyplace else that was full of shit.
T-Bone Walker.
Her entire “Save the Sluts” program consists of Alkon showing up once a month to an inner city school to lecture the girls about abstinance? And now she wants money to videotape it and put it on the internet, something most teenagers can manage for pennies with mom’s video camera? But the mean liberals are preventing her, ganging up on her like the Jew haters in high school?
It must have sucked to go through that harrassment as a kid. But that doesn’t mean you build a shit moat around yourself and hope for more persecution to feel important.
So — she’s blaming S,N! for her failure to apply in time for a BankofAmerica/AmEx grant or loan or whatever, because she had to spend all her time expunging any voice of dissent or reason from and screeching her own comments to her own useless blog? Where the only commenters are her/Crud and maybe one or two other poor souls who stumbled in probably by accident? Wow.
Behold the mighty economic power of S,N!!!11!!fifteen!!!
Behold the mighty economic power of S,N!!!11!!fifteen!!!
In fairness to Amy, her last moderator quit when she stiffed him.
For a year.
Long, but educational.
From a few comments after Amy’s:
Lovely, indeed.
Eugenics/2008!!!1!
Nice of Amy to blame SN on the Bank of America’s rejection of her loan application.
I applaud the Bank of A. for the sensible decision. If she’d wanted an unustifiable and high risk loan, she should have picked one of those currently under investigation by the FBI.
PS. I’m wondering how she would have paid the loan back.
…So, I guess the black community’s struggling ’cause they have lovelysoul as an older sibling? It explains a lot.
Seriously, resisting mass suicide must be a daily struggle.
Shorter AA: Damn you, “Sadly, No!” – you stupid apes! You blew it all up! Damn you! Damn you all to HELL!
Yeah, it’s not like B of A doesn’t have all kinds of dough to throw around right now or anything – it’s the PERFECT time to apply for a loan for some hare-brained business scheme! Go for it, folks!
Yet with this past record of fiscal restraint – well, at least that’s what the GOP calls it these days – she STILL can’t get a quick loan? Color me shocked.
Back when I was subbing at a high school, a local businessman spoke before the kids about saying no to drugs. He was earnest and lively and wanted to help. The kids hooted, yelled insults, and mostly tuned him out.
Come to think of it, I’ll give Amy money to make that video. I wouldn’t pass up this performance for the world.
These are hard times, but if we each sent Amy a dime, I’m sure she’ll have enough to rent a camera.
The snark potential, it’s just–limitless. The thoughit chokes me up.
Excuse me, I have something in my eye.