You know how sometimes you run across something and you’re like, Damn, that’s a whole new flavor of stupid…?
Here’s Patterico, once half-sane, but now deeply obsessed with
the Communist plot to fluoridate our nation’s drinking water the ‘Jamilgate’ escapade, who thinks we totally won’t notice if he posts something like this:
AP Owes, But Does Not Give, Correction
Filed under: General, Media Bias, Morons â€” Patterico @ 12:00 am
Uh, AP? You also reported that Sunnis had claimed the mosques were destroyed:
Sunni residents in a volatile northwest Baghdad neighborhood claimed Friday that revenge-seeking Shiite militiamen had destroyed four Sunni mosques, burned homes and killed many people, while the Shiite-dominated police force stood by and did nothing.
(I understand that some ill-informed leftist bloggers have claimed, without proof, that this language was out there for 20 minutes and never made it into an actual story. Iâ€™m not linking these morons out of principle. You can easily find their stupid posts yourself. The name of their moronblog rhymes with the phrase â€œMadly Ho.â€? My response to these dunderheads is simple. Uh, ill-informed leftist bloggers? Meet Lexis/Nexis.)
Honestly, if I were writing this narrative, the link text would be, ‘BWAHA! U SADLY SUxXxORZ R PWNED 4 EVAR!11′ and clicking would lead to a picture of Patterico at the top of a staircase with an armload of birthday cakes, slipping on a diaper. But that’s me with the broad humor. Patterico is, like, much more literal.
If you’ve used Lexis-Nexis much, you’re already laughing like a fat chief. It’s a commercial database that archives everything that’s emitted from mainstream news sources — such as, for instance, raw AP feeds, which commonly go through several successive versions as a story develops. That ‘without proof’ charge hurt our feelings a bit, because of course we never look anything up around here, being dunderheads. But once again, our hours of shiftless pot smoking seem to have paid off: Patterico’s gotcha! screen shot shows a raw AP feed in triplicate, and no news stories. How long can this blind luck hold out? It’s almost as though we’re cheating somehow…
Above: This AP feed with the imprecise word, ‘destroyed,’
was up for roughly 20 minutes before being supplanted.
Bradrocket adds: Nyah, nyah, nyah, Patterico! I redacted it! Ha, ha, ha! Hope you saved your screenshot!!!
In case you’re not following the narrative, it’s like the right-bloggers are all running around trying to prove that Charlie Chaplin is stealing their precious bodily fluids, and we said, “Look dudes, say what you want, but Charlie Chaplin died in 1977.” And then there was a lull, until Patterico stood up and was like, “Hah! These ignorant liberal dirtbags are such a bunch of ill-informed moron-dirtbags! How do they explain THIS?”
Since he won’t link to us out of principle, we’ll just link to this post ourselves. There. Teh circle is complete. Rack up the next blazing ‘Jamilgate’ issue, please.
Next: Ace of Spades, economist, cocks his green eyeshade and sticks his index finger in the pencil sharpener:
January 31, 2007
Cowbell: Economy Grows 3.5% In 3rd Q, Easily Besting Expectations
With the Fed facing a strongly rebounding economy but leaving interest rates alone, the Dow looks on its way to setting a new record:
Never mind the brazen hoopty about ‘leaving interest rates alone,’ or the fact that a one-day graph(!) is like peering through a soda straw. Follow me through this for a moment here:
The graph shows trading on February 1st, when there was an intra-day record (of 12,667.03) at like 3:25 PM or so. It’s posted in an entry from 4:36 PM January 31st — six minutes after trading closed on the previous day. Ace (as I recall) is somewhere around the New York area, where the Stock Exchange is located, so all times should be EST. I see two possibilities here:
1) Ace zips around in a time machine, which does in fact give you a lot to keep track of, chronologically. This seems unlikely considering the boner-inducing prospect of living his life in an eternal Groundhog Day loop of infinite September-the-11ths, 2001. Counterpoint: frequency of posting suggests several Aces converging in the same temporal phase. There might be three or four years’ worth of them over there, sleeping and posting in shifts. When the time comes to do a TV appearance, they choose the one with the cleanest shirt.
2) Ace heard about the record and was trying to be all like, “Woo, check me out: The Dow looks on its way to setting a new record,” but was so hapless about it that he posted a graph from the end of the trading day — i.e., after the record had already taken place, as is clearly seen in the graph. Through a chain of unknown mishaps, this was back-posted to the previous day, when he… Because if… And then the…
See? You’ve never seen one quite like that before, have you?
I’m trying to be mindful of the possibility that Ace is actually making some kind of normal, rational statement that I’m somehow failing to see, and not just running around going “Blardy-har-har!1″ like usual. I don’t understand this, so frankly I fear it.
Here’s a palate cleanser of ordinary-stupid, so you don’t go away feeling all weird like I do. Ace continues:
Has anyone kind of noticed the economy’s been growing steadily and nicely since the Clinton-Gore recession of late 2000?
Maybe an easy-to-read picture will help our subretarded media understand:
See, the thing with charts is how you set them up. That looks really dire, that 2001 column over on the left. I wonder what the ‘Clinton-Gore recession’ looked like, if you were to sort of extend the left edge of the data.
Of course, we could go by quarter instead. But then you see a little dip in the third quarter of 2000, then an upspike, and then things go all woobly-woobly up and down for most of Bush’s first term — i.e., not what you’d call ‘steadily and nicely.’ And then if we were to superimpose deficit spending, or the per capita savings rate, or median income growth, or the trade deficit…
Stats being what they are, there’s always some way to crunch the numbers to make Bush look like President Diamond-Encrusted God-King. Most of them are better than this one.