Thesaurus is Unconstimatutional
OMG! Writing iz Hard! How U ErrAz Pen WRiTng on Com Putter Screen?!? Iz Impossible! (Burp) (Fart)
Mona Charen, National Depantsing:
Gender-Specific Writer
- The crappy in-program proofreader on my discount word processing program is a secret liberal plot to steal my freedom to write terribly.
Sigh.
I write for free for a comedy website in the spare evenings after a hard day spent educating overly excited munchkins, usually after I’ve also spent a couple of hours tutoring in multiple subjects.
To do that I make sure I have a reasonable command of the English language, strong mastery of writing and editing in wordpress, strong command of html for post writing, additional mastery in my main word processing software for times like now when wordpress is fucking up, and have been training myself in GIMP so I can photoshop wingnuts onto toilets a quarter as well as Tintin, and I try and always proofread my epics before I throw it up (and yet, they still look like they do).
I do all these things because despite the fact that this is free work in my suddenly rare free time, I care about the quality of my output and want to make it something worth the time you spend reading it
This isn’t to elicit pity, solicit kudos, or to try and make writing third-rate snark sound like some herculean task (I mean, seriously, this shit writes itself). But rather, an important note to set the scene.
Cause see, I do this for free. If I was being paid for it. If say, writing posts for the internet was my main source of income, you’d damn well be sure I’d be even more meticulous and probably use half the penis jokes I do now (or double them, one or the other). Cause it’d be my fucking job, my fucking livelihood.
…
Mona Charen is supposedly a professional writer.
Mona Charen makes her living writing opinion pieces on the web and in print. She probably makes more in a year writing for various wingnut welfare programs than I can even dream of. It is her, to repeat myself, fucking livelihood.
Why am I making such a big deal pointing all this out?
Because Mona Charen… wrote an article for the National Review in which she picked a fight with her proofreading software… and lost… and then turned in the saga… and was paid for it…
Yeah…
Apparently I’m in the wrong fucking field.
The Apple Company makes dazzling, life-enhancing products, so God bless them . . . to a point.
You know, lacking the miraculous wingnut ability to forget all past events since last Thursday, I can clearly remember when Apple and other “minor players” were the wingnut enemies du jour just “jealous” of the success of Microsoft and that Windows must be the superior platform for everything because “just look at the market data” and “how dare the liberals claim monopoly just because it keeps on trying to eliminate all competition”.
Amazing how Apple releasing an expensive phone for the “Mine’s Bigger” crowd changed all that.
Having recently upgraded my computer to OS 10.7.3 or Lion, I discovered that the new operating system no longer supports Microsoft Word, the word-processing program I’d been dragooned into using after Microsoft muscled the far superior WordPerfect out of contention. What to do?
Not upgrade your system on your writing laptop? Finally upgrade your 8 year old word processing program that you had at least a year of warning about? Fuck, use TextEdit if you are cheap and lazy.
Oh, sorry, that was a rhetorical question, wasn’t it?
Damn you and your professional writer sorcery!
Purchasing a new version of Word would run about $150.00.
…And?
I know I’m repeating myself a lot here, but you are a professional writer. This is your livelihood. It’s called workplace expense and you just have to eat it sometimes, because it’s what allows you to keep making money in your field.
I mean, I can understand how this would be a pain in the ass if you were having to eat a $150 workplace expense in a dead-end minimum wage retail job. But I’d be dumbfounded if you were making less than $50,000 a year and that’s before factoring in your husband’s legal practice, the various wingnut welfares still coming in from your various pundit appearances, book royalties, and speechwriting duties, and so on.
I mean, there’s cheap and there’s being Ebeneezer Scrooge…
Huh, I never until just now noticed that Scrooge’s character may just very well have been based on anti-semitic stereotypes… I kinda feel a little awkward now.
Not about Mona, of course, she’s actively trying to be an anti-semitic stereotype.
But Apple offers its own word-processing program called Pages that you can have for $20.00.
And I’m sure that cheaping out for the bargain basement option had no ill effects whatsoever.
Trusting in the quality of all things Apple, I bought it, and congratulated myself on my thrift.
…What’s yiddish for “you’re a fucking moron”?
Pages has traits that are not immediately apparent, however. While it’s a sturdy little word processor, its true personality is not revealed until you use the proofreader
Why would you ever use the proofreader?
No, I’m serious. The proofreading tool on any word processor is always the most infamous aspect of the program. I mean, the Microsoft Clip buddy, the meaningless sea of green lines that erupt from most grammar checks and having to endlessly cycle through the sea of slang ignorance, dictionary inadequacy, and other bullshit just to find the one or two real errors.
I mean anyone who has even the most passing familiarity with word processing software learns first how to turn off the spellcheck popups and just use the highlighting as a guide to doing your own proofreading later.
Surely not even a base hack would be so stupid as to leave the spellcheck on its default annoying setting… right?
— or Proofreadress, as I now think of her. Yes, she’s female all right. Seems to have been designed and programmed by the women’s-studies department of the Cupertino community college.
You know, just once I’d like to read an essay from a right-winger that didn’t sound like it was written by a committee of paranoid delusionals in a mental institution.
Perhaps we could get something in a nice schizophrenic or maybe some severe form of agoraphobia. You know, just for a change.
In a column about Rick Santorum, I had used the word “spokesman.”
What an archaic word. I think most organizations have been phasing that term out for words such as spokesperson or representative-
The proofreader flagged it: “Gender specific expression. Consider replacing with ‘speaker,’ ‘representative,’ or ‘advocate.’”
Hello, I was just talking. So rude.
Hmm. How would that work?
The normal way? I mean, it’s a synonym. A more used synonym that would be especially important for a supposed journalist as standard journalist English standards shy away from unnecessary gender-specific terms.
Wait… All the setup…
Mona…? Are… are you declaring war on thesauruses now?
The sentence read, “A spokesman said ‘there is little daylight between Ryan and Gingrich on Medicare.’” None of the suggested words would accurately convey who was talking. Every one would have changed the meaning and confused the reader.
…
I… see.
Yup.
So… who wants to be the first to tell Mona that that sentence is equally confusing, non-specific, and absent any meaning in its current form?
Yes, Mona, putting in spokesperson, advocate, or representative would totally have obfuscated the true speaker. Why, now that we know that the generic white male spokesperson is a male, we instantly know everything we need to. Specifically that they aren’t ruled by their inferior lady bits that prevent superior male blood from reaching their tiny lady brains.
Pages just hates gender-specific expressions and is constantly on guard for them.
Yep, Mona, you are being stalked by an evil liberal conspiracy trying to improve on your writing and make you less of a transplant from the early 50s.
Or…
Pages has an even more inclusive definition of grammatical errors likely put in place to specifically help writers such as you working in journalism fields. Especially with its inclusion of errors like “jargon”, “overly complex word choices”, and “formatting errors”.
Oh hey, that link to the Pages help file cheerfully notes at least 3 different ways you can turn it off so it’ll stop offending your delicate wingnut sensibilities.
Fancy that.
In a column titled “Assad’s Useful Idiots” I had written that Vogue magazine “apparently immune to shame, ran a fawning profile of the dictator’s wife.” Proofreadress was on it.
Noting that it was terrible writing and might make you look like an overpaid hack?
“Gender specific expression. A gender neutral word like ‘spouse’ may be appropriate.” Really, Proofreadress? Spouse is a legal word, good for real-estate transactions and rhyming in Les Miserables’s “Master of the House.” But as a substitute for wife, it’s ungainly and odd. Wife is a perfectly good word — in fact, it’s a perfectly good status, one that I’m glad to enjoy.
IT’S A FUCKING SPELLCHECK TOOL! They universally suck! How the fuck did you manage to secure a position as professional writer without ever figuring this out?!?
Oh right, National Review. I’m sure if you’d shat a brick onto a piece of wood and handed it in, Jonah would publish it under his own name and ask his readers to figure out what it means for him.
Oh yeah, and (deep breath)… significant other, partner, spouse, companion, consort, mate, life-partner, romantic other, helpmeet, fellow giant robot enthusiast, and of course miscellaneous.
Not at all underscored by, OF COURSE ITS TERRIBLE! It’s spellcheck! It doesn’t mean it’s a liberal conspiracy out to destroy you, it means that it’s really difficult to use a computer program to decipher the intricacies of language. It’s why any sane lifeform turns it off the second they install the software.
Though, maybe if all the wingnuts left Clippy the Microsoft “helper” up for 8 years straight, that might explain why so many right-wingers are writing like escaped mental ward patients these days.
Proofreadress was also unhappy about the next paragraph of that column, when I quoted Vogue to the effect that Asma Al-Assad was “glamorous, young, and very chic — the freshest and most magnetic of first ladies.” Uh-oh. “Gender specific expression. Consider replacing with ‘women,’ ‘people,’ or ‘individuals.’” It was a quote, of course, and therefore untouchable. But imagine writing “the freshest and most magnetic of first individuals.”
Well maybe if you capitalized the formal title of First Lady, then you wouldn’t have been so distracted by the feminazi conspiracy to make you less of a shit writer.
Seriously, how does one get to the point of writing about how proofreading tools suck (in 20fucking12) and still have work as a professional opinion writer?
This is something someone would be heavily embarrassed to put on a poorly visited personal blog.
Oh Bob in Himmel, there’s an entire second page of whining about proofreading as if the imperfection of a discount word processing program’s most embarrassingly inadequate function was somehow… I don’t know what. I’m sorry, but I just can’t do it. I’m going to have to start skipping to “highlights”.
In a column about the Susan G. Komen furor, she highlighted the word “service,” and suggested that it was “jargon.” “Consider rephrasing with ‘serve’ or ‘repair’ if you are using ‘service’ as a verb.” I was not. I was using it as a noun. I would never use it as a verb unless I intended the vulgar connotations it acquires as that part of speech. But wait, shouldn’t Proofreadress know it was a noun? Isn’t she reading for grammar and spelling?
Well, Mona, perhaps that is because your columns are so up-their-own-ass in overwrought passive-aggressive bullshit that it couldn’t quite tell what the fuck you were trying to do to that poor innocent word and so just threw up a generic hint in the hope that you’d look twice and spare it its public mutilation.
Sadly, I guess you were too busy seeing the liberal conspiracy of dictionaries to hear it.
Proofreadress has a bias toward unadorned language, which is okay if you recognize it as a point of view. But not everyone should be obliged to emulate Hemingway. She recommends against the word “purchase.” She finds it “complex.” “Try,” she admonishes, “rephrasing with a verb like ‘buy.’” She felt the same way about “materialized,” preferring “happened,” “turned up,” or “developed.”
Maybe because you strain words like purchase and materialized through a constant diarrhea of sub-literate ramblings.
Also, you might have noticed that said vile evil proofreading tool is simply giving suggestions for alternate options fully expecting that most people will just keep pounding on the next button until they see something legitimately wrong.
No, regular people may see freaking out over random suggestions giving the same information as a thesaurus as strange or odd.
But wingnuts have decoded the seventh seal of the Arcane Codex of the Infinite and so understand that suggestions are low-level hypnotic commands designed to underwrite a person’s moral character and make them a Girl Scout-supporting gay abortion addict.
And that’s why their hostile and often unhinged cries of fascism to purely optional suggestions seem strange to us but are actually not at all overblown nor devoid of any real understanding of hardship beyond a missed nail appointment.
At least, I have to assume so, because otherwise the voices start telling me to bathe in their entrails just to make them understand what real oppression looks like.
No thanks. I ran Lincoln’s second inaugural past Proofie for fun. She was busy from the first sentence. “Countrymen” was a gender-specific expression. “In regard to” was deemed “wordy.”
Yes. It would in fact sound archaic and overblown.
Because it is.
Because it is 150 years out of date of modern American vernacular and modes of speech.
It is valued today because the ideas it contains are timeless, not the word choices. Because it is a great example of speech from the time and still has a lot to teach us about compelling rhetoric.
But if someone tried to read it today, they’d sound archaic, out-of-touch, and like some insane time-traveler marveling at the strange “com-put-er” and its constant mocking suggestions for word usage.
Apple’s language sentinel has been schooled in political correctness at the expense of English. In another column I mentioned that the collapse of marriage was “aggravating” inequality in America. Consider “irritating” or “exasperating” instead, Proofreadress advised.
No, those are words I reserve for her.
ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?!?
You know, for a political movement that is constantly arguing that immigrants flawlessly learn the English language before they will be considered full citizens, you really do sure seem to regularly fail to understand even Basic English yourselves.
Fuck, let’s forget the bad grammar, bad arguments, and total failure to understand what words mean.
Let’s start simple.
Before you can start bitching about liberal plots in your spellcheck, uppity immigrants speaking their native language at home, and so on, how about you have to demonstrate that you fucking understand what a dictionary and thesaurus are?!?
You know, it’s pretty damn bad, when you are sharing a page with Jonah Loadpants and you’re making him look professional and hard-working in comparison.
FRIST!!!!
.
I’m such a fucker.
Now I will read Cerberus’ excellent post. I’ll be back by Tuesday afternoon, CDT.
.
Purchasing a new version of Word would run about $150.00.
Why does she hate Capitalism?
Huh, I never until just now noticed that Scrooge’s character may just very well have been based on anti-semitic stereotypes…
I am pretty sure that Scrooge’s character is based on a different artistic tradition, that of “Death and the Miser” [insert Hieronymus Bosch image here] — itself based on the ‘Dives & Lazarus’ tradition — hence the Old-Testamenty first name Ebenezer (rather than Eleazer). So, no anti-semitism.
Smut-
Ah, I didn’t know that. Interesting. And good to know.
I could talk more bout delayed thermonuclear orgasms, or about getting pulled over on a scooter if you prefer.
.
As I recall, Adam Sandler settled this question years ago:
Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is,
Well, he’s not, but guess who is: all Three Stooges!
Further inquiry suggests that Dickens took Scrooge’s name from a certain Ebeneezer Scroggie of Edinburgh whose gravestone Dickens encountered in his visits to that fair city, and if any stereotype is involved, it is primarily ‘canny Scotsman’.
Why does Ms Wordsalad think that the WP programme is female? Does she think that the computer has little people in it? These would be different little people to the ones in her Teevee.
Wait, wait, wait…. What is a wingnut doing using an Apple computer, anyway? Aren’t idiots like her the reason every Apple computer you see on TV (>90% of them) has to have a sticker over the logo? As I remember it, that started when Apple donated $100,000.00 to the “No on 8” campaign in California, and touched off a blizzard of hate mail every time a visible Apple product appeared on TV. (Of course, Google donated if anything, more, but that’s OK.) Didn’t she get the memo?
I find this doubly offensive because it’s doubly homophobic, so to speak. The significance of the apple-with-the-bite-taken-out-of-it is that it represents the cyanide-laced apple Alan Turing killed himself with after being sentenced to chemical castration for being revealed as gay. You would think this would make right-wingers doubly hate Apple products. (Never mind that Rush Limbaugh and Karl Rove are both big fans, to name two.)
Dramawhoring at length in public over your computer’s proofreading software = YOU FAIL AT LIFE.
Alternative Shorter: Why turn off a worse-than-useless piece of software when you can keep it on & use it for an emotional hair-shirt for fun & profit?
Teh Feedback Smorgasbord O’ Butthurt: as these doofuses keep getting dumber it logically follows that they will become ever more the victims of avoidable self-induced traumas … which serves their victimhood jones passing well.
Victimhood-as-paradigm is the ticket to justifying barbarism, as well as a dependable all-purpose psychic wank.
Uh, Open Office? It’s free, honey. Or sugar. Or sweetums (even Firefox tells me that’s not a word). Tell the lady–er woman, er, person–that she could have had aggravation not for $150, no, not for $20, but absolutely free! And she could have bought a generic computer for $300 or so.
And speaking of Karl Rove–does the name Jeff Gannon ring a bell?
Mona Cheren = barely literate, stupid cunt.
Is that harsh?
Discuss.
Oh noes!
A liberal used the C-word!
That makes all liberals as bad as Rush Limbaugh!
(Wait. That makes no sense because Rush Limbaugh is just exercisig his First Amendment rights and telling it like is and everybody who doesn’t like it is a politically correct poopyhead. So that means liberals are wrong because … uh …
Can I start over?)
Next up: “I turned on the cruise control in my car, but as soon as I climbed in the back seat and started to take a nap the damn thing crashed into a tree! &^%$#@ Detroit labor unions!!!1!”
Does Apple not have its own proprietory wordprocessor? They’re much of a muchness anyway, except that Microsoft Word is fucking enraging.
Oh yeah, and (deep breath)… significant other, partner, spouse, companion, consort, mate, life-partner, romantic other, helpmeet, fellow giant robot enthusiast, and of course miscellaneous.
You forgot “object of nookie.”
I like my batteries fresh. Stale batteries wilt the salad.
Yeah, you know, this is one thing I’ve noticed about my conservative friends, they are so fucking cheap they squeak.
Most of them shop at Mall-Wart, even though they are in the income bracket where they don’t really need to.
But when it comes to buying big fucking ugly expensive shit, especially luxury cars and jewellry, they can be relied upon to keep the economy moving!
And oh yeah, forgot to mention— NOBODY bitches about their taxes like a wealthy conservative!
“Pages” is Apple’s word processor—it’s what she’s complaining about.
What makes it extra stupid: All any spellcheck or grammarcheck or whatever gives you is advice! You’re free to take it…or not. I think we see the authoritarian mindset here in a nutshell. Something is telling her what to do (not), which is exactly the same as altering her copy to conform to political corectness because—shut up, that’s why! If Pages were doing that, she’d have a point, but…it’s not.
Why does Ms Wordsalad think that the WP programme is female?
Maybe it’s GLaDOS
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glados
Wasn’t it MS PowerPoint that used to have an “auto content” wizard for people incapable of writing their own slides?
Dramawhoring at length in public over your computer’s proofreading software = YOU FAIL AT LIFE
Look, I never claimed otherwise!
I was hoping for an incomplete.
NOBODY bitches about their taxes like a wealthy conservative!
Tell me about it. I fly with airline captains that make almost twice my salary and have to listen to them whine about their taxes. Usually right after they tell me about the new BMW or vacation home they just bought.
So far none of them have taken me up on my offer to trade salaries – so that they can luxuriate in my lower tax bracket.
But when it comes to buying big fucking ugly expensive shit, especially luxury cars and jewellry, they can be relied upon to keep the economy moving!
I’m always surprised by how many rich folks have terrible taste. Peek into the kitchens of many of the tacky rich and you’ll see design they have mistaken for “old world European.” I realize that’s a bit redundant. Anyway, they’re all really ostentatious. Not what a vintage europe-y kitchen would look like at all.
I believe you mean Olde Worlde Eurostyle.
“this shit writes itself”
I suddenly feel so guilty about neglecting my blog. Cerberus has become the leading (only) contributor at Sadly in a very short time.
Mark my words libsymps!
Santorem will surge in 2012, nad you’re blah Obama will be hystery. And yer commie wurd prasessers, to.
I’m always surprised by how many rich folks have terrible taste.
Ain’t that the truth. Weird false economies too, also.
Never mind the political correctness! I’m working on my 1000 word screed about the ani-Canadian bias at Apple, as evidenced by the fact that autocorrect never lets me put the U where it belongs.
[…] Sadly, No finds one of the most unintentionally hilarious columns of the last decade, in which Mona Charen complains about the spell/grammar check that came with the $20 word processor she bought because she was too cheap to go with Microsoft Word. […]
Why does Ms Wordsalad think that the WP programme is female?
Because its naggy and bossy and doesn’t know its place. You know how some dames can be.
WP bitch needs to shut up and make me a sandwich.
Autocorrect is Satan also too.
A bit late to the party at the previous thread, so I’ll post my brilliant comment again here… sorry!
*************
Long before the ‘Girl Scout controversy’, there was the ‘Beatles controversy’.
1) Take a trip down memory lane in Wingnut World
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/B0006CFG5Q/ref=dp_image_0/192-9044229-2239707?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books
************
2) Now take a trip down memory lane in Non-Wingnut World:
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/editors-choice/2009/08/27/revealed-how-the-beatles-brought-down-communism-86908-21627401/
************
So… the Beatles and Communism? Hmmmm… we report, you decide!
autocorrect never lets me put the U where it belongs.
Goatsue?
What’s yiddish for “you’re a fucking moron”?
Du bist ein verdammter Idiot.
That charming sign also makes me think about how, when we were all riffing on G.W. Bush’s obvious resemblance to a chimp, we had no idea our next President would be a black man and we were unwittingly giving these dipshits an excuse to indulge their racism. “But you libs called OUR President a monkey! What’s the difference?”
Seriously, how does one get to the point of writing about how proofreading tools suck (in 20fucking12) and still have work as a professional opinion writer?
This is something someone would be heavily embarrassed to put on a poorly visited personal blog.
Hey, now. I’ll have you know that just two days ago Microsoft Word offered me a suggestion that I actually took. I was so impressed that I found it necessary to make a comment about it on my poorly visited, personal blog just this morning after the auto-post happened.
I’m not sure what the uproar is all about here. She got a column out of the equivalent of a mosquito buzzing around her head. If I had a job like that I would either kill myself or sit around in my underpants all day playing computer games and drinking. Tough choice really. But when you get down to it, mocking the same stupidities over and over seems fundamentally soul-deadening. Couldn’t some clever person write a generic response post for any right-wing polemic, and just post it in response? A few blank spaces or word choices should be sufficient; after all, these foolish people are all always mad about the same sort of things in the same sort of ways.
You know, for a political movement that is constantly arguing that immigrants flawlessly learn the English language before they will be considered full citizens, you really do sure seem to regularly fail to understand even Basic English yourselves.
This gave me the warm happy.
Alternative Shorter: Why turn off a worse-than-useless piece of software when you can keep it on & use it for an emotional hair-shirt for fun & profit?
Next story: Evil liberals are forcing me to fill up my gas tank by making this picture of a gas pump flash; don’t they know I have a favorite station I like to use?
“Purchasing a new version of Word would run about $150.00.”
It’s a good thing she’s not an architect. See: AutoCAD
Ah, fuck. There are just too many tasty nuggets of stupid in Charen’s piece – I can’t be tempted by them, it will just go to my thighs.
But what occurred to me in a general sense is that, au fond, the Word Processing proofreader (and yes, I hate Clippie with a white-hot sun of hate) is intended for business and academic correspondence, isn’t it?
So of course it would not be geared toward writers of wildly speculative creative fiction, soaring works of imaginative poetry, lyrical and evocative memoirs, or crass, button-pushing, dog-whistling propaganda.
If dumb fuck Mona Charen thinks that gently nudging those few hunt-and-peck CEOs and crass undergraduates who can’t afford a real word processing program away from hackneyed writing is somehow politically charged, she’s more barking mad.
Oh, and it’s hilarious that she acts like it’s forcing her to accept its suggestions.
Maybe she’s just a computer-idiot. I have a boss who is so computer-illiterate, she’s constantly getting into these embarrassing situations.
The other day, at a meeting with another department, we were all sharing the same document – it had been emailed by the meeting organizer to the group. She printed it out (she knows how to do that) and it was the red-line version , with all the mark-ups and edits shown.
Another person at the table had printed the final version, so as we’re negotiating away, my boss looks at the other person’s paper and says, “You’re working from a different document than we are.”
Then ensued about ten minutes of back and forth where Boss insisted that the other person’s document was a different on, while the other person kept insisting that, no, she had printed exactly the same document we’d all received in the email.
Honestly, I think the argument was prolonged by the fact that Person Number Two just simply couldn’t believe someone would be so stupid, so somehow thought Boss was accusing her of something else instead.
It was embarrassing. We went back to our department, and about two hours later Boss asked someone to show her how to print the document without the redline.
This gave me the warm happy.
Yep, my boss rips on people who submit unintelligible written reports. All the while her attempts at typing out a coherent email are somewhat eye-watering.
Next up: “I turned on the cruise control in my car, but as soon as I climbed in the back seat and started to take a nap the damn thing crashed into a tree! &^%$#@ Detroit labor unions!!!1!”
HA! Nice one!
I thought cruise control meant my car could sail to the Caribbean. Turns out not to be the case. Anyone want to buy a damp-ish 2000 Impala?
I thought cruise control meant my car could sail to the Caribbean. Turns out not to be the case. Anyone want to buy a damp-ish 2000 Impala?
No, thanks. Judging by the amount of dog hair in my current car’s back seat that will get smelly really fast.
No, its cool. The stagnant lake water washed out all of the pet hair.
It’s a good thing she’s not an architect. See: AutoCAD
There are many reasons why she should not be an architect. Although, the general poverty aspect of it would look good on her.
“No, its cool. The stagnant lake water washed out all of the pet hair.”
The Caribbean’s a lake?
Food companies are telling me what’s in my food with their packages; now I realize my favorite treat has something that’s causing my allergies! Darn liberals!
Yep, my boss rips on people who submit unintelligible written reports. All the while her attempts at typing out a coherent email are somewhat eye-watering.
Does it read like Bizarro trying to recite Shakespeare?
In order to sail to the Caribbean, from where I am, I would start by sailing across lake Monona, to the Wisconsin river, to the Mississippi river, to the gulf of Mexico, to the Carribean. Step 1 turned out to be problematic.
The Caribbean’s a lake?
Caribbean Isreal!
So, spell-checking assistants are nagging twits. And suggestions are actually compulsions. And 21st century English is out to get you.
No one tell her about Auto-Correct. And up her dosage and give her the “super” computer, but be sure the batteries are out.
Oh my non-salty one, non-salty one
When you gonna gee me some brine, Monona?
Mona Cheren = barely literate, stupid cunt.
Gender specific expression. Consider replacing ‘cunt’ with ‘genital’ or ‘asshole’
Speaking of autocorrect neglect and screwing up jokes…
Mr. Monotreme,
Actually, being originally from Buffalo, I thought you might be north of the Great Lakes. They can be rather an obstacle to navigation.
But Wisconsin, shit man, I feel ya, had a girlfriend from the frozen land.
Running one of Lincoln’s inaugural addresses, or the Gettysburg Address, or anything similar, through a grammar-check program is one of the oldest, hackiest, I’ve-got-to-get-the-next-column-out-and-I-got-nuthin’ tricks in the Hack Handbook.
Of course grammar checks are worthless. Anyone who calls himself or herself a professional writer should never need one.
I do sympathize with Mona in one respect, though: I’m too cheap to get Word for Mac too. (If only I could find it by itself, instead of bundled with an “office suite” full of apps I’ll never use.) Instead I get by with TextEdit, which has lots of annoying formatting quirks.
E. B. White running Paine through his internal style checker in Strunk & White is HI-larious, though.
“Soulwise, these are trying times.”
I am busy typing up an old codger’s memoirs (hey, work’s work) and it is in Afrikaans. Spellcheck doesn’t do Afrikaans.
You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.
Sigh.
NowI’m going to spend the whole day picturing Shatner screaming “afriKAAANS!”
Ms. Charen is easily “muscled out.” WordPerfect is available in regularly updated versions compatible with he latest Win & Mac OS’s, all files convertible. It’s still far better than Word. Lots of people still use it. So how did that happen, Mona?
“Spellcheck doesn’t do Afrikaans.”
Quick, call up the White House. Barry “Soweto” can help.
There are many reasons why she should not be an architect. Although, the general poverty aspect of it would look good on her.
i call bullshit on this comment…mike brady had a huge house AND a maid! and he could afford to take the whole gang to the grand canyon and hawaii!
bbkf –
You should not have gone there. The slightest hint of Mike Brady talk turns ZRM from a mindless brain-eater into an ANGRY mindless brain-eater.
You should not have gone there. The slightest hint of Mike Brady talk turns ZRM from a mindless brain-eater into an ANGRY mindless brain-eater.
no worries…zrm has not been here for ages…
Did somebody say Wisconsin?
~
what i find hi-larious about mona’s ‘column’ is that i’m sure this is an attempt at humor…proving once again…
I put her column through my pc’s grammar check and it says her column was really written by Bill Ayers!
…What’s yiddish for “you’re a fucking moron”?
Du bist a dreykop, a dumkopf, an eyngeshparter, a khoserdeya, a Moyshekapoyer, a tsedreyter.
We’ve got so many.
i cannot, really cannot believe that we are this far into a morning and not one of you have offered up this…
sucking the swizzle stick or keep fucking that chicken…you decide…
Didn’t Andy Rooney do this schtick 20 years ago? Except he had some self-awareness.
You know what I hate? Airline food. What’s the deal with THAT?
And you know how they say, “No man is an island.” Yet there’s an Isle of Man! What’s the deal with THAT?
And you know how everyone says I’m paranoid? But now you’re reading my comment. What’s the deal with that, I ask you? What, do I sound like Mona Charen or something? 😛
And you know how they say, “No man is an island.”
He’s a peninsula!
two birds, one stone…imma blogwhore and ask a question:
my latest post features the walk hubbkf and i took on sunday…i put up some pics…how do i do the ’embiggen’ thingy?
He’s a peninsula!
because he’s got that little thing sticking out?
my latest post features…hubbkf and i…how do i do the ‘embiggen’ thingy?
If you don’t know by now, I’m not gonna tell you.
Did somebody say Wisconsin?
Hey pal, don’t knock what you haven’t not tried to do yet. The wig? Keepin’ the ears mighty warm, that’s important, right. And drinkin’ in the morning? Hey, the Supervalu sells at 6, and they must do that for a reason. And, I’m good fer the econ…conomic…the US EPA numbers. And gotta keep the fish down, we lose way too many worms and children and stuff to ’em, they’s savage little bastards. And a snowmobile, too, you know, stuff.
If you don’t know by now, I’m not gonna tell you.
are you going to make me beg? cuz i will…
Hey, the Supervalu sells at 6, and they must do that for a reason
because you can’t say you’ve been drinking all day unless you start in the morning…hyuk, hyuk!
my latest post features…hubbkf and i…how do i do the ‘embiggen’ thingy?
Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they get married, in a church, and later, with the light’s off…
“how do i do the ‘embiggen’ thingy?”
Sexy lingerie and fuck-me shoes works for me.
So, referring to the proofreader as “proofreadess” is an insult?
Also, remember when they were recently whining about how liberals always play the victim? Being a victim of a word processing software is, I guess, okay, while claiming to be a victim of Rush Limbaugh calling you a whore for 3 days is just whining.
Did somebody say Wisconsin?
What’s yiddish for “you’re a fucking moron”?
Ask Alan Arkin. His character in “Thin Ice” is the most Yiddish-sounding Wisconsin farmer I’ve ever heard.
You may have missed my point, but never mind.
If you’re linking to a photo already on the web, put the link in the “link” field, and use the percentage control to make the main photo smaller. If you’re uploading your own, it should happen automatically.
victim of Rush Limbaugh calling you a whore for 3 days is just whining.
we were at the inlaws last night so got a full dose of fox news…that really crabby blonde bitch that’s filling in for papa bear kept referring to this incident as rush making a mistake in his word choice…really? for three fucking days?!?!?
if this is their argument, then they are all dumber than previously thought…
That Girl wins, places, and shows!
(Well, please show?)
You may have missed my point, but never mind.
are you getting sassy with me?!?!
If you’re linking to a photo already on the web, put the link in the “link” field, and use the percentage control to make the main photo smaller. If you’re uploading your own, it should happen automatically.
oh, heh…i took that link out…i know not why…oh, n_b, you’re so smart and nice!
You may have missed my point, but never mind.
are you getting sassy with me?!?!
If you’re linking to a photo already on the web, put the link in the “link” field, and use the percentage control to make the main photo smaller. If you’re uploading your own, it should happen automatically.
oh, heh…i took that link out…i know not why…oh, n_b, you’re so smart and nice! and ever so helpful 🙂
Oh my non-salty one, non-salty one
When you gonna gee me some brine, Monona?
*snerk*
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we were at the inlaws last night so got a full dose of fox news…that really crabby blonde bitch…
You’ll have to be more specific.
because he’s got that little thing sticking out?
how do i do the ‘embiggen’ thingy?
I feel these comments may be related.
I’ve got yer drinkin’ in the morning thing covered because it’s brewing day at the farm and it is contrary to the reinheitsgebot to brew sober.
Not making German beer though because: honey!, world’s best adjunct.
Adjunct! You really are a brewer.
Not making German beer though because: honey!, world’s best adjunct.
Whereas corn should be outlawed as an adjunct, period. Full. Stop.
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If you’re linking to a photo already on the web, put the link in the “link” field, and use the percentage control to make the main photo smaller. If you’re uploading your own, it should happen automatically
also, too…i just added the link and still no embiggening…could it have something to do with the size hubbkf made the pics originally?
I thought the real test was if he was wearing lederhosen when he sampled the beer?
Had a near-death spell-check experience with the Android texting app – was replying to my (somewhat tense) wife, regarding something I had misunderstood – I typed “Aaaahhhhh – I see…” and was about to poke the send zone when I noticed that ‘Aaaahhhhh’ had helpfully been changed to ‘Asshole’
I typed “Aaaahhhhh – I see…” and was about to poke the send zone when I noticed that ‘Aaaahhhhh’ had helpfully been changed to ‘Asshole’
Always poke the helpful orange box.
.
Always poke the helpful orange box.
but don’t poke the bear…
“how do i do the ‘embiggen’ thingy?”
Find yourself a midget, a thin whore, and a 40 of malt liquor.
Whereas corn should be outlawed as an adjunct, period. Full. Stop.
Ditto rice.
“how do i do the ‘embiggen’ thingy?”
hey, i’m a gigantic maroon! first off, i just ‘got’ the joke n_b made upthread…and secondly, it’s ‘click’ to embiggen…not hover your cursor…srsly…i am fearing for my brain lately…i was boggled for about a half an hour the other day when i couldn’t figure out how to get an excel function to add up a column of numbers opposed to just two cells…
maybe i need to stop banging my forehead against my desk?
and, no…the column of numbers was not opposed to the the two cells…apparently, my two cells are opposed to working properly…
maybe i need to stop banging my forehead against my desk?
Don’t be a quitter.
I like autocorrect because it does fun stuff like change “Rancho Mirage” (California town) to “raunchy mirage”
“Hey, this 20$ software is probably worse than the 150$ software!” A world where Mona Charen gets paid for that fucking useless whine fest is one in which Cthulhu is long, long overdue.
Don’t be a quitter.
fine…i’ll just do it when i drink…
I like autocorrect
Me too. Keeps me from sending medical records to the Beaufort Nasal Hospital instead of the Beaufort Naval Hospital… What’s one letter between friends, eh?
and secondly, it’s ‘click’ to embiggen
The pics are embiggenin’ nicely now. The one with the Eagle soaring in the clear blue sky is nice. Now, all you have to do is crop the pic so the eagle is in the top right corner with nothing but blue sky and then add text all over the sky. Some sort of teabagger lunacy would just about do it.
The pics are embiggenin’ nicely now. The one with the Eagle soaring in the clear blue sky is nice. Now, all you have to do is crop the pic so the eagle is in the top right corner with nothing but blue sky and then add text all over the sky. Some sort of teabagger lunacy would just about do it.
i feel i should also superimpose sarah palin on there as well…
Keeps me from sending medical records to the Beaufort Nasal Hospital instead of the Beaufort Naval Hospital
Which is right next to the Beaufort Navel Hospital.
Well see, I would go to Raunchy Mirage.
The pics are embiggenin’ nicely now. The one with the Eagle soaring in the clear blue sky is nice. Now, all you have to do is crop the pic so the eagle is in the
top right corner with nothing but blue sky and then add text all over the sky. Some sort of teabagger lunacy would just about do it.
i feel i should also superimpose sarah palin on there as well…
Go for the trifecta and put a halo on her.
Chip in and buy Charen a “Bubblehead Barbie” doll.
Ditto rice.
Rice doesn’t offend me nearly as much as corn. I was recently given a Rolling Rock, and nearly gagged on it. It tasted like hominy. GAK.
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Whereas corn should be outlawed as an adjunct, period.
What about bourbon boilermakers?
What about bourbon boilermakers?
I got no opinion. Not much of a drinkee whisker, despite being a Kentucky boy who lives in Tennessee.
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It’s all good – folks who would drop bourbon into their beer probably don’t care whether or not any such thing is outlawed.
It’s all good – folks who would drop bourbon into their beer probably don’t care whether or not any such thing is outlawed.
They’d probably think it tasted better if it were outlawed.
I am certainly not getting out of the boat to investigate this on my own. At least without a 3-gin-n-tonic (I don’t do juleps) head start. Anyway, here seem to be the basic facts as presented:
1) For some reason she felt compelled to upgrade her mac to Lion.
2) She didn’t check to see if her existing software was compatible before the upgrade
3) She is too cheap to simply upgrade her version of MS Office that she’s been using for 8 years.
4) She’s not cheap enough to try the free, and good, Open Office or Libre Office or whatever.
5) She thinks that WordPerfect doesn’t exist anymore.
6) She installed Pages, and was able to produce a column while not customizing or personalizing the install in any (apparent) way.
7) Pages’ default spell check and grammar check are setup for generic business user version 2012.3
8) Lieberals are ebil and their shoving of communistic spellcheckers and proofreadressists and business grammar down conservative throats will not stand! WOLVERINES!
Obviously Cerb has already fully dismantled this shitpile of an article, but I’d like to add a few other items as related to the identified “facts” of this article above:
1) The next version of the OS, Mountain Lion, is due out in a couple of months, so finally getting around to upgrading to Lion now and not just going ahead and waiting a little longer was stupid as fuck.
2) Doing an upgrade without making sure your shit will work is stupid as fuck.
3) Rilly? Did you swipe your copy of Office 2003 and the person you “borrowed” the disc from won’t return your calls to see if you can do the same for the new version? You probably even have an honorary faculty appointment at Liberty University or something, go there and get the upgrade for the academic version for like $39 or something you cheap fuckhead. And for further fuck’s sake the cost would be a tax deduction for you, you cheap fuckhead!
4) The clear solution to your cheepnis is to embrace your cheap fuckitude and go full open source. Oh wait, that’s all commie and collaborative and socialist and stuff. Can’t have that. It probably has a pop up grammar checker that looks like Stalin and automatically adds “-ski” to everything.
5) There is no mac version anymore. Still pretty widely used and loved by lots of folks.
6)
See point 7.There is no rule 6!7) At some point in the past eight years she, or an actual literate flunky, managed to get her old copy of Office to be all special and conservative and happy, by adding all her favorite wingnut words to her personal dictionary, and turning off the
grammar checkerproofreadress that it came with. Evidently to do that now is a huge burden placed on her by evil liberals. Or the flunky isn’t there to help her…8) “Ebil lieberals are shoving [outrage du jour] down conservative throats!” is the inevitable conclusion of every wingnut article, so I’m just being redundant.
I think this is incontrovertible proof that Mona Charen continues to be a fucking idiot and probably shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a computer in the first place.
…
TL;DR:
Wow, that Mona Charen sure is cheap.
Speaking of WordPerfect, the X5 suite, like previous ones, has a “Classic Mode” interface, which allows a user, like say, Mona, pretend it’s 1989, or whenever it was that 5.1 was released. Also, too, commas,,,
I believe you mean Olde Worlde Eurostyle.
HA HA N__B (or Autocorrect) misspelled ‘Eurostile’.
“this shit writes itself”
Ah, Autocomplete!
Making a beverage with adjuncts of rice and/or corn and calling it “beer” is a crime against humanity and should be tried as such. Also applies to the “malt beverage” Mike’s Hard Lemonade. I may have seizure if anybody mentions Zima.
I have been known to add molasses, Belgian candi sugar and such to my beers, as appropriate to style, with great success.
The next beer I have planned will be a batch with first runnings going into an “imperial brown ale” (yeah, there’s not really any such thing, but it works) that will be aged on bourbon-soaked oak chips. Second runnings will be standard English Brown Ale.
The Saurus sinks deeper into the tar pit. HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA
I may have seizure if anybody mentions Zima
What on earth was that shit made from? Someone once pressed one of them into my hand and I made the mistake of taking a sip. JAYZUS but it was horrid…
I guess I’m gonna have to come down on the other side of this one. I’m sorry someone made JP choke down what he considered a bad beer and I don’t like alcopops any more than anybody else but I’m afraid this battle is long lost. When upwards of 90% of beers are made with rice and corn all over the world it’s a little late for dudgeon. Unless I’m in some medieval guild that I paid for with a miserable apprenticeship and I’m protecting a guild monopoly on words I don’t want anybody telling me what I can put in my beer.
What about your saviour OBAMA, lib? You’ll be drinking beer made from Alinskyberries soon enough.
Georgia, suddenly finding itself falling behind in the race to deny women’s rights, turns the crazy up to 11.
When upwards of 90% of beers are made with rice and corn all over the world …
Sorry, I call BS on this. (Unless you’re referring to volume, not varieties of beer.) Most microbrews are all-malt, as are some of the better mainstream beers like Leinenkugel’s.
Thread Bear, your link just goes right back to S,N! (On my crappy browser, anyway.)
Mona?
Hi. Fuck you.
yeah, listen; I upgraded to Lion too. Already made use of the snappy Restore function a couple of times too, so win. But anyway, I also upgraded my old version of Word. And I use it even more rarely than you; but when I need it, I need to use Word, so no problem.
But here; my main working program is a relatively high-end CAD program. Retails for about $1700. I can probably get a discount for multiple versions and upgrade, but it’s still gonna run me about $1300.
So, fuck you.
I agree with this, except in the case of grapefruit. The brewpub that sold me Duke’s plutonium stout (featuring grapefruit) is now out of business, which is only just. I only regret their brewery was not destroyed and the ashes sown with salt. Because damn.
Out tagfailing bbkf. It’s a good day to be me! Ok, try again…
Georgia, suddenly finding itself falling behind in the race to deny women’s rights,turns the crazy up to 11.
Ok, I give up.
Georgia, suddenly finding itself falling behind in the race to deny women’s rights, turns the crazy up to 11.
Let me guess. Women == pigs.
FYWP
I’m sorry someone made JP choke down what he considered a bad beer
Haw — never happened. I didn’t finish it. In fact, I handed it to someone else after that first sip, and had some iced tea, instead.
.
I really don’t think this is a software issue. I think the problem with Mona’s writing is between the keyboard and the chair.
Concern troll is definitely concerned. That old Mac word was a great piece of software … I don’t resent paying 150, I resent that this version no longer works. I’m an old crusty hack who has changed format once to often. And pages proofing really is fucking annoying. Save bile for a worthier cause.
You can make whatever the fuck you want. But calling rice/corn travesties “beer” is an affront to beer.
But I am the beer snob, so, y’know.
Naturally I meant volume of beer (or money spent on beer). Even in Amurika micro brews have not cracked the 90% barrier [citation needed] and nowhere I’ve been is any better. England and Ireland awash in accursed lager, despite a wide variety (though not volume) of magnificent old fashioned ales (not Ireland), even Belgium fighting a rearguard action against inevitable crass modernity. Maybe there’s a craft brew movement in China or India that could make up some volume (haven’t been either place in quite a while) but I’m betting 90% of the beer served in the world is adjunct ridden swill.
Also, too; They don’t really drink all that much at the Old Entomologist.
Time for a link:
http://www.libreoffice.org/download/
I’m pretty impressed with LibreOffice.
Then it’s sure a good thing you didn’t upgrade your OS and can’t use the version you love anymore. You didn’t do something stupid like that, did you?
wev libs. Word 2010 comes in the same office suite as Excel 2010. And Excel 2010 is proof of a benevolent Invisible Pink Unicorn.
WOLVE-RIBBON!
THIS IS SPARKLINES!
Naturally I meant volume of beer (or money spent on beer).
Oh, OK then…you’re probably (and regrettably) right.
I once talked to a former Anheuser-Busch executive who was retired and could therefore afford to be honest. He said most American beer tastes like vaguely flavored water because 1) most Americans don’t really like the taste of beer and 2) you can pound down watery beer a six-pack or more at a time. If you tried that with all-malt (i.e., real) beer, you’d feel like you had swallowed a bowling ball.
The craft brewing sales share in 2010 was 4.3% by volume and 6.9% by dollars.
From here.
Figures for the US. I doubt the amount of real beer in Europe balances out the oceans of swill in Africa, Asia, South/Central America, Oz, etc. but I could be wrong.
Also, too; They don’t really drink all that much at the Old Entomologist.
All the cool brewers are using Quinoa these days. Buckwheat also.
Imma start me up a brewery and I’m gonna call my beer C.A.D.S. – Cheap Alcohol Delivery System. It will, of course, be mostly corn and rice.
I’m gonna call my beer C.A.D.S. – Cheap Alcohol Delivery System
I trust your delivery vehicle will be the AutoCADS.
I trust your delivery vehicle will be the AutoCADS.
Oh no, I do not condone drinking and driving. Drunken activities should be limited to more important things, like blogging.
Imma start me up a brewery and I’m gonna call my beer C.A.D.S. – Cheap Alcohol Delivery System. It will, of course, be mostly corn and rice.
Do you remember that dystopian future in our past where they made generic products with all-white packaging, and the product’s descriptive name was the only label, in black, block lettering, e.g. “BEER”?
OMG. I’m glad that didn’t last long.
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I’m thinking more along the lines of this. I guess you could still drive with that, but it’d attract some attention.
[Repo man]
Mom: Put it on a plate son, you’ll enjoy it more.
Sone: Couldn’t enjoy it any more, Mom. Mm, mm, mmm.
[/Repo man]
Son. WTF is a sone?
Not THAT far from a son.
WTF is a sone?
Sone, cosone and unguent are triggernomic functions.
Triggernonomy is of course the study of trinagles on non elulcalidian geonometry.
Just like the the evil liberal proofreadress inside of Opera to not tell me about sone. She thinks it’s not a word, and here we have two perfectly reasonable definitions.
Um, one of the first things I learned when I was crazy enough to become a freelance writer is that wp programs are wonderfully tax-deductable, If the blushing Mona doesn’t know that, I guess it’s too much to hope she discovers she can install Boot Camp and Win 7 on her Mac, then run Word. In all fairness to her, I don’t think XP runs under the current Apple OS/Boot Camp, but, hey, she’s got more than enough bootstraps to pull up and deal with that, no?
This is starting to sound like the DEATH SQUARD guy.
Whew, I’m mostly done. Not as traditional as my usual but good enough for all but the snobbiest snobs. Maris Otter malt, Fuggles for bittering, Cascade for flavour, White Labs London Ale Yeast, honey from our bees. I usually aim for a Fuller’s London Ale but the Cascade will twist that towards this side of the pond. With a strong ferment (high pitching rate!) honey ferments out dry, leaving some floral notes and alcohol, boosting end strength without thickening. 65 liters. I’ll dry hop when I keg.
Back to your regularly scheduled broadcast.
lol–I’m going to buy a $2000 laptop and then install a program and spend another $100 to buy software you can actually use at work. Boot Camp. Yeesh.
Also, Mona should bust out the old typewriter. It doesn’t autocorrect anything.
It occurs to me that someone with computer skills anywhere above completely illiterate could shut off autocorrect if it was such a treacherous liberal plot, or…if you’re not a batshit crazy poo hurler, an annoyance.
I can’t believe you’re still talking about beer when we could be talking about Excel 2010.
Harrrumph.
<a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JN99jshaQbYHarrumph
I’m having a VERY bad day!!
Harrumph
tsam–if one has barely-used legacy items that only run on Win 7/ XP (in my case a microscope and a digital pad), BC is worth it, correct?
Look! I’m using Excel!
French Outro ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Swirlies
Fljótavík ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Sigur Rós
Bubblegum ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Sonic Youth
Terminus |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Unwound
Dark Skies |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 7 Bandits
Inch-Blue |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| This Mortal Coil
Why Why Why |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Slick Rick
Cross My Path Feat. G-Unit |||||||||||||||||||||||||| 50 Cent
Hello Operator (Demo Version) ||||||||||||| The White Stripes
Clan In Da Front ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Wu-Tang Clan
Pretty Woman |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Van Halen
Wanksta ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 50 Cent
One and Two ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The White Stripes
Lily and Parrots ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Sun Kil Moon
Thank You For Talkin' To Me Africa | Sly and the Family Stone
Loss Of Control ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Van Halen
Strange |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Wire
Little Sister (Little Sister 7in Aside 1977) ||| the Runaways
You Know it's True |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Spiritualized
Feelin' Sad Blues ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Ry Cooder
Look! I’m using Excel!
You keep that up, and you’ll go blind.
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Sounds nice. I just bottled up a Bier de Garde and kegged a really nice strong Baltic Porter (I added molasses).
Love the White Labs yeasts, I used a platinum strain for the Bier de Garde.
EM, that sounds like it’s going to be some great brew.
DKW, what’s the big deal with the new Excel? I have 2008 for Mac but I can get the student version of the new one at the bookstore – is it worth it?
Ha! I have awesome timing. I now know that sub has van halen in his liberry!
DKW, what’s the big deal with the new Excel?
Excel 2011 got huge thumbs up from the Mac community, but I suspect part of that is because 2008 sucked moosecock.
I swapped out for Numbers and never looked back.
Even Van Hagar! Or Sam Halen.
I really don’t think this is a software issue. I think the problem with Mona’s writing is between the keyboard and the chair.
Reminds me of one of my favorite help-desk acronyms: PICNIC, (problem in chair, not in computer).
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Alternative to PICNIC is PEBKAC — Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.
Reminds me of one of my favorite help-desk acronyms: PICNIC, (problem in chair, not in computer).
Or the wonderful “straighten out your cabling, the ones are getting caught in the corners and the zeros pile up behind them”…
Even Van Hagar! Or Sam Halen.
A bridge too far, sir!
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OBS – have you been to the Pacific Maritime? I have been informed, when I get back out there, that the cask conditioned pale ale is lovely.
Alternative to PICNIC is PEBKAC — Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.
Another good one, but be prepared for an Ahemming by Major Kong.
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Sam Hain?
Our plan is working well. Next we abort.
Or the wonderful “straighten out your cabling, the ones are getting caught in the corners and the zeros pile up behind them”…
Ahhh Yes the shit the users will believe if you sell it with conviction…
🙂
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I avoid brews that use corn or rice in the same way I eschew any recipe that includes a can of soup. It mint be edible or drinkable but it’s going to taste like shit. I’m currently commenting in a thread elsewhere in which people are saying that store bought buns are fine for burgers. One asshat even said “if people compliment the bun it means the burger itself fell flat.” Another said “home made buns are only worth it if you’re making a gourmet burger.” Phucking philistines.
Lovely pics of a lovely place bbkf, however you do know thaqt dueling with a drooling dittohead is only good for sharpening your rhetorical blades.
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It even “might” be.
AUTOCORRECT IS OPPRESSING ME
AUTOCORRECTRESS IS FORCING MINT DOWN MY THROAT WHEN I WANT MIGHT!
Wait, I’ve said too much.
I see that I just made up a new word!
.
Mr. Maximus, please! Language!
That would be phrakking.
Phucking philistines.
If I am ever made Glorious Leader of all the Land, I’ll give you right of first refusal as Food Czar!
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Sadly, no.
I dunno what DKW’s enthusiasm is for, but I don’t do charts. I haven’t had a reason to upgrade Excel ever, although I really love crunching numbers, and I would never purchase it when there’s LibreOffice.
Oh Jesus, I believe there are links above about this but I just caught this headline over at Think Progress: “Georgia rep compares women to Livestock”
And to think we are not yet to the Ides of March, this is gonna be one bugshit crazy year.
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I might want mint forced down my throat. Esp. if soaked in a nice bourbon frist. Y’all.
While I pimp for LibreOffice I should mention that it looks a lot better on a Mac than OpenOffice ever did (mind you I think OOo runs natively now instead of via XWindows).
OBS – have you been to the Pacific Maritime?
I was at Maritime Pacific before they opened the bar, because my brother had infected me with the excellence of Nightwatch. They were OK guys, they make fine beer. I’m glad they’re still going and making cask conditioned ales.
200th!!
I’m currently commenting in a thread elsewhere in which people are saying that store bought buns are fine for burgers.
You mean there’s such a thing as bread that comes from a store?
and3th!!!
I’m pretty impressed with LibreOffice
My whole office is running on LibreOffice thanks to my hatred of all things MS.
Alternative to PICNIC is PEBKAC — Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.
Another good one, but be prepared for an Ahemming by Major Kong.
In aviation we might say “There’s a problem with the right-seat yoke actuator”.
Lunch today was leftover broccoli, beer, cheddar soup I made yesterday using Tillamook sharp cheddar, Lagunitus pale, some of the incredible brown chicken stock I made earlier in the day. And mirepoix, mustard powder, nutmeg, roasted red pepper, and stuffs too also.
We only rarely go to Seattle, just don’t see much point, so I can’t comment on Maritime Pacific either.
And the rest of yesterday’s baguette.
You mean there’s such a thing as bread that comes from a store?
I feel no shame in buying bread at Ken’s Artisan Bakery or Pearl Bakery. Those are stores. Damn fine bread stores.
I feel no shame in buying bread at Ken’s Artisan Bakery or Pearl Bakery.
We probably don’t have anything of that caliber here in Columbus. There are a couple halfway decent bakeries, but I can usually do better.
Plus I just enjoy making bread.
I now know that sub has van halen in his liberry!
Substance McGravitas can’t drive 55.
My whole office is running on LibreOffice thanks to my hatred of all things MS.
I’m still using Open Office, but I may switch. Damn, Mona is a n00b.
Libre is faster and has slightly better formatting controls than Open.
Plus I just enjoy making bread.
I’m just not a baker. I’ve killed more yeast than Monistat. The one exception is that my soda bread is fantastic.
Luckily, NYC, specifically the Bronx, has the best bakeries in the country.
Even Van Hagar! Or Sam Halen.
ha, ha…i haven’t heard the sam halen…that’s awesome!
Another said “home made buns are only worth it if you’re making a gourmet burger.” Phucking philistines.
are you kidding me?!?!? even though i am a slacker foodie, even i know that cheap store bought buns are hideous and not worthy of any burger…i finally have hubbkf trained to know that…
There’s a difference in the license; the Libre people can steal code from OpenOffice, but the OOo people can’t use what Libre does because the OOo license isn’t as free.
Sorry, buddy, but while I respect your nuyorcentric enthusiasm NoCal is way ahead of anything happening in the City. Porty and Seattle pretty good too, also.
I’m now imagining BBBB and El M. battling each other with baguettes. En garde!
“Georgia rep compares women to Livestock”
gah! just…gah! mrs. terry england is one lucky woman…
“Try AND…,” Cerberus? Tut, tut.
Meanwhile, is Charen always this scolding and boring?
Sword fight!
Lovely pics of a lovely place bbkf, however you do know thaqt dueling with a drooling dittohead is only good for sharpening your rhetorical blades.
thankee, sir…hubbkf is an awesome photographer…yeah, i know thaqt dueling with a dittohead is pointless, but nonetheless, i will take st. carol’s ensuing silence as proof that i smacked her the hell down…booyah!
Sword fight!
those aren’t swords!!!
he would give up all of his chickens if the legislature simply took away women’s right to an abortion.
How nice of these white male assholes to get together and decide what MY rights should be. Tell you what, I’ll give up my personal right to choose an abortion if they are both killed by razor-wielding chickens.
Not gonna fight 4B. He’d probably use a batard instead of a baguette, right?
Plus, we agree about wild bitter greens and offal. Why would we fight?
Also, too, I am one of a vanishingly small number of folks with fond memories of Yonkers.
I can’t get over how badly “Proofreadress” falls flat on just about every level. It’s even worse than “Obromneycare.”
It suffers from a lack of elegance. It’s really clunky.
In addition, there is the lack of clarity. I read most of the article before I realized it wasn’t Proof-re-address. Which didn’t make much sense, I guess. But that’s par for the course for readers of conservative commentary. I mean, I didn’t immediately assume I was reading it wrong just because I couldn’t make sense of it.
How about Proofreadette? It evokes “suffragette.” There’s a simplicity of meaning that Proofreadress desperately lacks. (Be honest. A proofreadress could be an elaborate hat that a copy editor uses whenever he consults the holy book, i.e. the AP Style Guide.)
I mean, the whole concept makes no sense. But Mona the Moaner really made no effort to strive towards improvement. Not even a little. (I guess that’s why she’s a conservative. After all, most of the conservatives I know are pretty comfortable with the idea that they are already perfect because God made them that way. (Notice I capitalized God because that’s the politically correct way to spell it. You know how conservatives are about political correctness – when it suits them. )
I have no doubt there are many fine bakeries in your ‘hood but there aren’t any better than Ken’s.
I treat bread as fermentation craft.
those aren’t swords
Skip to the end for the reference.
First, I must meditate…armor my mind against the madness of Western thinking. And now…I BAKE!
The battle is a short one. I weave a lethal net of baked goods that few can escape.
Skip to the end for the reference.
i was going with ‘those aren’t pillows!!!’ from planes, tranes and autos…
Well if there are battling bakeries sooner or later someone will drop the bombe.
Meanwhile, is Charen always this scolding and boring?
sadly, yes…
he would give up all of his chickens
Remember, people in GA really love their chickens. I live here I know.
I find Mona fascinating because she looks like what she is. She just LOOKS like a horrible harpy because she is one. I remember thinking that even way back in the day when I used to watch her on Washington Journal.
Also, too, I am one of a vanishingly small number of folks with fond memories of Yonkers.
I would love to hear about your Yonkers experiences! My experience with Pacific Northwest baking was that it was too much about the sourdough. You want a good pane di casa or bastone, you want to go to the Bronx. If you really want to go nuts, get a prosciutto loaf on Arthur Avenue.
I had a really awful thought- Mitt Romney is trying so hard to be a sham Southerner, I think he’d bugger a canoer if he thought it would get him the nomination.
Rofl, B^4
I think he’d bugger a canoer if he thought it would get him the nomination.
As long as he doesn’t take BC he’s not a slut.
Or a canoe for that matter.
I think he’d bugger a canoer
Ah, but would he love his chicken??
tsam–if one has barely-used legacy items that only run on Win 7/ XP (in my case a microscope and a digital pad), BC is worth it, correct?
Not when you can get a Core i7 laptop for about a grand that will destroy anything you throw at it. I just find the idea of buying a laptop that costs twice what a Windows laptop does, yet doesn’t run programs you need it to run, and installing a program so you can run a program that you need. Seems pretty silly to me.
If you don’t need to do that, Macs are the most awesome thing in the whole wide world. But all this Parallels and Boot Camp is a bunch of monkey business as far as I’m concerned.
I also find that English is not a good language for me.
yeah, i know thaqt dueling with a dittohead is pointless
“Never argue with an idiot. They’ll just drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” – Mark Twain or Yogi Berra or somebody.
I can’t get the thought of BBBB swordfighting out of my head. I’ll be in my bunk.
A favorite IT dept quip refers to such as an “Eye Dee Ten-Tee” problem.
Spelled out id10t.
I can’t get the thought of BBBB swordfighting out of my head. I’ll be in my bunk.
Mitt Romney cornholing Ned Beatty does nothing for you?
Mitt Romney cornholing Ned Beatty does nothing for you?
Row faster! I hear banjo music!
In the case of barely-used legacy items, I used VMWare Fusion. It’s less than $100 (IIRC) and ran the very few windows specific things that I needed perfectly. And it didn’t require disk partitioning and rebooting and stuff. I’ve tried both Parallels and Fusion and I’ve had better luck with Fusion. They both work though.
Oh, and I think I may have mentioned this before, but be sure to check compatibility of existing software before you perform an upgrade. Nobody wants to be seen as fucking stupid as Mona Charen for doing some dumb fucking thing like that!
(Disclaimer: this is not to start yet another mac/win flamewar. Use whatever works for you, just relating my experience with Fusion. No purchase necessary. $0.10 depost required. Not valid in New Jersey and Wyoming.)
Mitt Romney cornholing Ned Beatty does nothing for you?
Any thoughts about Rmoney’s enormous penis are a bit of a buzzkill for me.
.
If you already have a Mac, and already have legacy hardware or software that won’t run on a Mac, then you don’t have much of a choice using some sort of VM ware. However, if you’re shopping for a computer, and have printers or other hardware that don’t have Mac drivers, or your network has trouble communicating with a Mac, or you run software that is specifically designed for Windows, just go buy a damn PC. There is nothing a Mac can give you that makes all the hassle and bugginess of VM ware worth it–not when it comes to trying to do your job, at least.
Any thoughts about Rmoney’s enormous penis are a bit of a buzzkill for me.
He stuffs his magic underpants.
He stuffs his magic underpants.
Dammit, Jim!
I have a scooter meetup tonight at Pizza Perfect. Stuffed crust is now officially off the choices.
.
You didn’t read my disclaimer.
He stuffs his magic underpants.
Jesus jammies.
Mona Charen talks like a man. Paul, the half-Jewish, half-Italian lawyer told me so.
Mona Charen talks like a man. Paul, the half-Jewish, half-Italian lawyer told me so.
You know what’s really endearing about me? I often laugh even at the jokes I don’t get, even when it wouldn’t be impolite to do otherwise.
.
Stuffed crust is now officially off the choices.
As long as it’s not stuffed with sausage, you’re okay!
You didn’t read my disclaimer.
That wasn’t flaming. I was expanding my previous rant about trying to make stuff work on stuff that wasn’t made to work that way.
As long as it’s not stuffed with sausage, you’re okay!
Hello?! CHEESE? I dunno… do Mor(m)ons circumcise?
Anyway, just funnin’. I’m too poor to eat at restaurants, so I’ll have my ramen before I head out here in… oh, look at the time!
bbl
.
You know what’s really endearing about me?
That IS endearing.
You know what’s endearing about me? I take my baby out for a walk* in a Dethklok tshirt.
*by walk I mean speedwalk cuz its the only chance I get o exercise these days…
I worked with a woman named Lakia, Words suggested replacement was Labia
Mona Charen talks like a man. Paul, the half-Jewish, half-Italian lawyer told me so.
I’m not dumb, but I can’t understand why she writes like an idjit but talks like a man.
Has potential- I met her at The Corner of NRO, where they write write blog posts, but they scan just like propaganda- a-n-d-a, anda.
I worked with a woman named Lakia, Words suggested replacement was Labia
vs suggests not replacing it to her face.
Cool. I can understand where you’re coming from.
This wackypedia article might add some perspective on why old UNIX geeks like myself find hypervisors like Fusion familiar and handy.
Unless I’m in some medieval guild that I paid for with a miserable apprenticeship and I’m protecting a guild monopoly on words I don’t want anybody telling me what I can put in my beer.
Don’t let a real ale fan hear you say that.
vs suggests not replacing it to her face.
You can, however, repeat it if you’re “down south”, so to speak.
You can, however, repeat it if you’re “down south”, so to speak.
Per Mittens, “playing an away game.”
Reminds me of one of my favorite help-desk acronyms: PICNIC, (problem in chair, not in computer)
Best ever said to me while working as tier 3 help-desk -” Acrannymint can you get me the ID10T manual” courtesy of a co-worked on the line with a particularly obtuse end user.
You can, however, repeat it if you’re “down south”, so to speak.
Per Mittens, “playing an away game.”
I will thank you not to mention playing Hello Kitty in the same breath as Mittens.
I once worked at a warehouse that received a lot of books. One of my co-workers spent a long time trying to figure out where to deliver a box: he looked on every employee list and there was no Harcourt Brace.
vs suggests not replacing it to her face
I’m usually oblivious but I did catch it and it caused me much amusement
I will thank you not to mention playing Hello Kitty in the same breath as Mittens.
I do not play Hello Kitty. The lack of a mouth creeps me no end.
Best ever said to me while working as tier 3 help-desk -” Acrannymint can you get me the ID10T manual” courtesy of a co-worked on the line with a particularly obtuse end user.
Obviously, no spellcheck and the combination of the glasses of wine I have consumed after a trying day at work
A Hello Kitty I can support
Don’t let a real ale fan hear you say that.
I was a CAMRA member for a long time. We have no outstanding issues.
The ID10T gag is new to me, and pretty much awesome.
.
I do not play Hello Kitty. The lack of a mouth creeps me no end.
Dissing Hello Kitty? Our friendship is over!
Cthulhu looks really cute with ribbons.
Dissing Hello Kitty?
HHAHAHAHA!
Our friendship is over!
Fuck. You don’t own one of those Hello Kitty AK47s, do you?
Heil kitty.
Fuck. You don’t own one of those Hello Kitty AK47s, do you?
No, but do you really want to feel the sting of my Hello Kitty nunchucks?
* * *
Is this thing on?
Well, hello Kitty.
No, but do you really want to feel the sting of my Hello Kitty nun chucks?
You got you mouthless cat on my brides of christ!
You got your brides of christ in my mouthless cat!
Fuck. You don’t own one of those Hello Kitty AK47s, do you?
No, but do you really want to feel the sting of my Hello Kitty nunchucks?
Weapons of Whimsy?
Yay!
You got you mouthless cat on my brides of christ!
You got your brides of christ in my mouthless cat!
God, you’re a weirdo. Now that’s endearing.
Weir Dough
I was a CAMRA member for a long time. We have no outstanding issues.
I don’t know where yo are located by my friends hubby runs a number of beer festivals in the NYC area, one in the UK and is part of a US Craft micro-brewery
http://camra.msu.edu/
“I once worked at a warehouse that received a lot of books. One of my co-workers spent a long time trying to figure out where to deliver a box: he looked on every employee list and there was no Harcourt Brace.”
You kinda can’t blame him. We live in a world where Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich are names people have. Some woman even named her kids Track and Trig or some crazy shit.
Tomorrow’s headline: “Santorum Surges in Mississippi Three-Way”
Rebekah Brooks was arrested. Think she’ll rat out Rupert?
MS still counting but AL called for the Frothy One. Here’s to chaos!
I will thank you not to mention playing Hello Kitty
once again, i see hubbkf loses on lack of originality…i won’t tell him, though…
Wait, what?
Since when does Word not work on Lion?
How old is her copy of Word, anyhow? Any program written for an intel platform will work on Lion. And you can add back in Rosetta, the software to make old powerPC programs run on the intel platform.
Officially, with 10.7, you can’t. I’d be interested if you know a way around it.
And you can add back in Rosetta, the software to make old powerPC programs run on the intel platform.
Officially, with 10.7, you can’t. I’d be interested if you know a way around it.
First you use the Greek apps to translate the Demotic apps, then you use the Demotic apps to translate the hieroglyphic apps, then you have to switch to the hieroglyphic keyboard. You’ll spend a lot of time in Terminal.
Santorum wins Alabama and Mississippi.
YES LAWD!!!!
Seems like Mississippi has also gone frothy.
This is the bestest primary EVAR!
I did, in fact, go see John Carter on Sunday. We had fun.
He didn’t hafta learn Martian the old-fashioned way. A Thark just made him drink “the Voice of Barsoom.”
If your characters are not seen to eat and drink, there can be no possibility they’ll learn languages on-screen. The dude went from stumbling around (low gravity giving him trouble) to boldly jumpin’ like a cricket, or better, proportionally.
Wiley and the Major: i had two phone conversations with Mr. Wit today.
Also, I’ve been in voluntary exile as a commentator in Sadlyville (though I’ve been lurking continuously all week). Cryptic explanation: I’m doing self-imposed penance for a past transgression in our happy burg. Perhaps I may resume commenting in another week or so.
Warmest greetings to all of you.
Yer friend Fenwick
((I turned 63 today. It was not a Happy Birthday, but I endured it pretty well.))
okay, i am officially in love with jon stewart again…
happy birthday fenwick! get your ass out of your self-imposed exiled…
The one exception is that my soda bread is fantastic.
Sure! It doesn’t use yeast to leaven, which is what you seem to have trouble with. You’d probably be a dab hand at biscuits too (which use baking powder).
Self-imposed exile for a transgression, Fenwick? Don’t tell me. I prefer to remain oblivious. Glad you got to talk to Mr. Wit. He’s a pleasant guy, ain’t he?
ZOMG.
http://angryblacklady.com/2012/03/13/arizona-law-would-allow-employers-to-fire-women-for-using-birth-control
ZOMG
do these people know it’s twothousandfuckingtwelve and NOT just twelve? i am so glad my daughter is 26 and that she does not have to put up with this particular bullshit…we have other dangers to face, but this shit won’t affect her…i however, weep for any granddaugters i may have and for my nieces…and for most of womankind…women like the fauxnews bimbos and this twunt from arizona only have my contempt…may they reap what they sow…
I still miss AppleWriter. Does anybody have an open-source emulator I can run in Windows?
“Some nutbag in Arizona — a woman, no less — authored a bill that would allow employers to interrogate their female employees about their sexual practices.”
[…] “I believe we live in America. We don’t live in the Soviet Union,” [Majority Whip Debbie] Lesko said [in support of her bill].”
Debbie is right: we aren’t like the Soviet Union. Here, “conservatives” defend and extend PRIVATE spheres of tyranny — patriarchal families, workplaces, and markets. “Freedom” refers to how fully those tyrants’ whims are not just allowed, but supported by the full force of the most powerful government ever to exist. Government is to aid them, do nothing else, and ask them nothing in return, however much it consumes in its sacred smallness.
ZOMG
Wow. Just…
Stay classy Arizona.
We don’t live in the Soviet Union
Ummmm, nobody has lived in the Soviet Union for twenty years.
Watching a documentary about the hunt (and hype) for the Ivory-billed Woodpecker. As a birder I think it’s really interesting.
If you’re trying to pass an especially oppressive and intrusive piece of legislation, it’s bad salesmanship to remind people of a regime that was famous for being oppressive and intrusive.
I thought I lived in America, too.
I see Arizona has surpassed Texas as the National Laboratory for Bad Government.
Gosh, golly!
We had an exceptionally nice scooter gang meeting, tonight. Warm weather tends to bring The Numbahs, amirite?
I got to warn one of the gang about the Alabama xenophobia law (he’s very obviously of Asian heritage), as he is about to spend five weeks there for work. He thought I was shitting him, but I used his iPhone to pull up the Mercedes exec’s arrest. He was gobstopped, and grateful that I alerted him. Let’s hope his visit goes well.
.
Jeffraham Prestonian said,
March 14, 2012 at 7:13
I thought you were too busy fancying cats to go outside, but this story has the ring of truth to it.
feck…table plan for 250 in an awkwardly shaped room is giving me a headache…
jeffraham prestonian…tennessee cat fancier!
I thought you were too busy fancying cats to go outside, but this story has the ring of truth to it.
Actually, I was too busy jerking off to intratronz pr0n until I got the citalopram, recently, which made it nigh impossible to get a bone for several weeks. Only THEN did I think of bigger issues outside of my own penis. 😉
.
I have to say g’nite, folx. See you on humpday, proper.
.
Smedley, you cad ! You saw through my secret identity. I feel all exposed like Clark Kent would if someone ripped off his glasses.
I dunno. Texas keeps on trying.
We can’t forget Florida either.
PS. Happy Birthday, Fenwick. I miss ya, ya lil whippersnapper.
SA Crone
I still miss AppleWriter. Does anybody have an open-source emulator I can run in Windows?
No, but I know an emulator that lets you run DOS programs in OSX. Very useful for converting my old GenericCad drawings and running 8-bit games.
Congrats on surviving another year Fenwick!
re: Excel 2010
I dunno aboot you Mac users, but on teh Windows platform, Excel 2010 rocks. 64-bit and multi-thread optimization means it’s faster than before. They added in multiple condition sums, averages and counts. Gradient conditional formatting. Sparklines.
I work with fat workbooks. Breaking a hundred megabytes is not unusual. And I don’t do it with frilly resource hogging pivot tables or fancy pants graphs and whatnot – just reams of data and a messload of analysis and crunching. For me, the performance improvements in Excel 2010 really are amazing.
Also, sparklines. They are pretty.
Sparklines are what you attach to a sparklepony’s bridle, right?
feck…table plan for 250 in an awkwardly shaped room is giving me a headache…
I CAN HELP!! Two quick questions – do you have a chainsaw, and are you particularly a bug on Euclidean geometry?
(Meanwhile, in the Hall of Jus-tice, paleo says “Buggerit, gotta go to work. Bastards everywhere, stupid wossname electricity, razzinflumpfeldorkin…”)
Table plan for 250: Mandelbrot fractal. Trust me.
hey lady, you got something on your face.
no, the other side!
no, its still there!!!@!@!
I still miss AppleWriter. Does anybody have an open-source emulator I can run in Windows?
You don’t ask for much, do you? 🙂
I doubt it would run any longer. It went freeware twenty years ago.
Wow. That’s….holy shit. 1992. Twenty years ago…jeesus.
ZOMG
do these people know it’s twothousandfuckingtwelve and NOT just twelve?
I had a thought a little while back that whoever ends up as the Republican nominee should put the apostrophe after the 12 on their bumber stickers. As in Rmoney 12′ to indicate their desire to take us back to the 1200s.
Yippeeeee! Here’s to senator Frothymix! Brokered convention. Ugliness. Internal party war. Assassinations (character for sure and who knows what the extremists will do?). We are investing in popcorn.
Brokering the convention.
Confusing the delegates.
Popping the corn.
Oooh, I crave an open convention so much. Having the whole clown car repudiated in favor of a White (duh) Knight, watching the whole army of media wankers fall all over themselves to justify it all, the comedy potential is massive. Surely it is too much to yearn for.
You didn’t happen to be working in Boston last night did you paleo?
The current delegate count:
http://projects.wsj.com/campaign2012/delegates
A search for “Apple IIe emulator” on teh Googolz returns a few possibilities. The wackypedia for AppleWriter has a link for the Apple ][ Lost Classics Project which might be a good place to start.
I know the numbers aren’t good but I’m holding out for the ‘grinch
And to (prematurely) celebrate, I’m going to plunk down this little gem :
And to (prematurely) celebrate,
premature schmature. And speaking of TMI, We got drunk and celebrated very appropriately.
As in Rmoney 12? to indicate their desire to take us back to the 1200s.
Nah, the 1200’s are too liberal. That whole Magna Carta foolishness was the beginning of the socialesm. They’e all about repealing the 20th Century, sure…but only as a start! They really want a do-over on the whole second millenium if they can.
Shorter Jonah Goldberg:
Where’s my link, Mark? I’m lost! Help me!
Weird, it shows as embedded on my screen: http://74.63.51.110/corner/293454/crisis-hits-close-home-jonah-goldberg
It’s spelled like that, but it’s pronounced “FYWP”.
Sounds more like he’s saying you can’t be against income inequality if you’re rich. I guess white folks can’t be against racism, men can’t be against misogyny, and Jonah can’t be against brainless parasitism.
LIKE JEEBUS.
Sounds more like he’s saying you can’t be against income inequality if you’re rich.
It reads to me like he’s criticizing Tim Noah for (1) talking about inequality, and (2) being paid by that not-Zuckerberg Facebook guy now and Bill Gates before.
No, you’re right, it was the “his book” that confused me, I thought Jonah was saying the rich guy wrote the book.
Because this is a completely unreasonable thing to be concerned about AT ALL.
Ugh. Who ARE all these strawliberals and where might I find them? How does being concerned about the ever-growing gap between the rich and the poor and shrinking middle class become all liberals hate all rich people. There really is no room for detail and nuance in the wingnut brain, is there?
There really is no room for detail and nuance in the wingnut brain
Rocks and dogshit occupy a lot of space.
Ftfy, assuming the presence of a brain of course, which I find highly doubtful.
Who ARE all these strawliberals and where might I find them? How does being concerned about the ever-growing gap between the rich and the poor and shrinking middle class become all liberals hate all rich people.
They’re out back smoking cigarettes and pretending to be different than the strawsocialists who believe in equal outcomes for all.
The class traitor is nearly as hated as the race traitor for these folks, right behind the uppity wommens, gays and browns.
.
I really hate to be lookist, but I just can’t help it. Every time I see Callista Gingrich on the teevee it always brings to mind the Chicken Lady for some reason.
The class traitor is nearly as hated as the race traitor for these folks,
I was the class clown in elementary school, but I would never condone treason against PS24Q.
I still think of Doom.
mark f said,
March 14, 2012 at 19:22 (kill)
This link registers on Firefox as a possible ID-theft/hijack, & Firefox warned me not to make an exception for it when I tried to sign in. If anyone else has that issue, going to this address should bypass that problem:
http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/293454/crisis-hits-close-home-jonah-goldberg
Judging from the comments, the fuckup may well be on NRO’s end. Comments are FUBAR & their fail may also include linkage as well.
Wingnuts plus computers? What could possibly go wrnog?
I really hate to be lookist, but I just can’t help it. Every time I see Callista Gingrich on the teevee it always brings to mind the Chicken Lady for some reason.
Omg, it’s uncanny.
Never get out of the boat! Your browser’s just trying to save you from the piranhas and tigers and fetid mangoes.
I think of the legendary woman in the 1950s who finally got her hair into a perfect beeehive which she then shellacked to keep it perfect for ever and the worms ate her brain.
There really is no room for detail and nuance in the wingnut brain, is there?
Oooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! I know! I know!
I write for free for a comedy website in the spare evenings after a hard day spent educating overly excited munchkins
(1) you do this for free? Aren’t all liberal bloggers bought and paid for shills for
the Elders of ZionGeorge Soros? Or is that yet another example of projection by right-wing bought and paid for shills of the Koch brothers?(2) Nu? After a hard day’s work spent educating overly excited Munchkins you write for a comedy website in which you excite overly educated munchkins?
Major Kong –
I never pictured you as Tracy Flick until just now.
Rowrrrrr.
But is he a chunky Tracy Flick?
Heh, I just read on the internet that Major Kong has been in some funky racy flicks!
There really is no room for detail and nuance in the wingnut brain, is there?
Defenders of “Enhanced Interrogation” or tax-cuts for billionaires would beg to differ.
They can be more subtle than a Zen monk or a Jesuit … when there’s money or power on the line.
What there ISN’T room for is reality. Standing athwart the facts shouting “fuck you” actually involves an abundance of nuance & attention to detail, of a sort. Just be very careful which details you focus on, & which conclusions you draw from them: the Purity Brigades are always on the lookout for heresy, & the definition of “heretic” changes every week.
if any stereotype is involved, it is primarily ‘canny Scotsman’. – Smut Clyde
Yep. For anti-Semitic stereotypes in Dickens, Fagin is the go-to reference.
I can clearly remember when Apple and other “minor players” were the wingnut enemies du jour just “jealous” of the success of Microsoft
Actually, I bet what Mona Charon was doing was her idea of “damning with faint praise”; the whole article is about how Apple is an evil liberal plot to undermine the good capitalists at Microsoft, isn’t it?
Of course, in the wingnut mind, whatever an (white, male) authority figure dictates must be followed. So if a proofreader says to replace a word, it MUST be replaced. That is why Ms. Charon is so upset: the proof-reader is telling her to do things by which she cannot abide. It’s a right-wing authoritarian’s version of a moral crisis. So how does she resolve the crisis? By claiming the proof-reader is some woman bent on political correctness. Thus the proof-reader has no real authority, so Mona Charon can ignore it without feeling any guilt over ignoring authority — and get a column out of it, to boot.
Meanwhile, I am still wondering why she didn’t pay $150 for a new version of Word. Since it’s a business expense, wouldn’t that be tax deductable? I.e. the $150 spent on Word would be $150 less income of Ms. Charon’s that the evil gummint could tax?
Meanwhile, I am still wondering why she didn’t pay $150 for a new version of Word.
I can’t answer in the affirmative but I’m betting it’s not about boycotting on behalf of Chinese slave labor
She should just have gotten Excel and done all her writing in that.
Instead of bitching about how capitalism works she ought to do what most wingnuts do and hire an unpaid intern. Job creation!
Sheet two has a list of all words and punctuation and from there you just go to sheet one and concatenate.
You really like those sparklylines, huh?
Fagin was just a kindly old fellow educating some young lads for their own betterment. Leave Fagin aloooooooone!!!
But is he a chunky Tracy Flick?
I’m embarrassed to admit that I had to look up Tracy Flick.
(hangs head in shame)
We could be talking about beer, but, nooooo. Excel is lots more fun.
Excel has a RAND() function, so you could probably make a Janus-like workbook. With MID() and FIND(” “) you could also extract the nth word for some RAND() n. Although space delimited text to columns probably makes more sense for seeding.
It would be bulky as heck, but it would be doable.
And then you could make sparklines for word frequencies and length.
Oh yeah, JanusNode via Excel is perfectly doable.
Somewhere on the internet there must be scripts that convert blocks of text into complicated or ridiculous Excel files. If there aren’t, there should be.
There’s talk of beer over at LGM.
Wouldn’t the RAND function insert a rambling 90-page speech?
You didn’t happen to be working in Boston last night did you paleo?
Dammit OBS!. Look, like everyone here, I cannot deny that I have, once or twice, shut down a major industrial facility accidentally while fiddling with the circuits. However, last night I was watching a truly uninspired hockey performance from the hometown heroes.
Also,
Fiddling with my circuits.
We could talk about gardening… just got mah BARLEY for the beer garden.
Check that. You could set up your Sheet2! dictionary with all the words down A:A and then assign values to other columns representing traits and characteristics like “Noun” or “Positive” or “Frequently Used by MRA’s”. Then you could try and tailor your Sheet1! concatenation to favour “Adjectives Used in Liberal Fasicism“.
Sheet3! could be stock phrases and template sentence structures. I’d have to think more about how to integrate this.
Sheet4! could be examples of writing – entire sentences/paragraphs at a time. Then using RANDBETWEEN(1,LEN(cell reference)) for the start of a FIND(” “) and a MATCH() to the next cell of writing sample, you could dummy up an awkward Markov chaining application. All with no macros.
If you’re comfortable with Array Functions, you could have a list of specific words/phrases that you could use to mark specific breaks in sentences for chaining.
How much barley do you grow? Do you malt it and kiln it yourself too?
Growing barley is pretty easy. Malting it is more challenging and once you’ve gone that far it’s worth it to make scotch.
OBS, you’re a voice of sanity over there but once I had the idea of a chilly Mirror Pond in my head I couldn’t really think of Fat Tire any more.
I think WordPad would be the ultimate galtian word processing platform for a rugged individualist like Charon.
Spell check is for sissies!
Grammar check is a PC (in both senses) conspiracy!
Line breaks are theft!
Text formatting is socialism!
Courier was good enough for Underwood; it’s good enough for me!
64-bit and multi-threading probably doesn’t help too much here. You could get by with Excel 2007.
Courier was good enough for Underwood; it’s good enough for me!
Typing paper on a roll and dexedrine was good enough for Kerouac…..
The way most people I know use Excel they could get by with the original Visicalc.
Typing paper on a roll and dexedrine was good enough for Kerouac…..
A stylus and tablet worked for Aristotle!
Yeah, I’ve given up as well, although it’s not chilly Mirror Pond weather here, it’s feeling more Imperial Stout-ish right about now.
OBS, I’ve never grown it before and only have a maybe 6×20 bed which will also have a little wheat and the hops, but I figure I’ll try to do everything for the small bit I’ll get. If malting is too much of a bear I’ll just roast it. I have been looking into still building online, El M, and scotch is the tippy top of the list if I ever get around to it. I think distillation, and pot-growing, for that matter, should be like home beer and wine making, fine below certain volumes and for personal, non-sales uses. Our laws are so fucking stupid, but Jesus, when we’ve got idiots who are trying to make birth control illegal again I’m not going to hold my breath.
The way most people use Excel, they could get by with writing on the back of a soggy cocktail napkin. But no sparklines!
82 and balmy here, heading towards Prima Pils weather.
Stilling is really, really fun and I know a couple of folks on the other end of your state that are good at it. I once made an absinthe that I had grown or produced every ingredient in it but the water and the star anise. It was around that time that marital imperatives made me turn to other hobbies.
Hey, OBS, I was thinking that (in my neck of the woods anyhow) there’s a bit of a dearth of craft lagers and pilsners (at least compared to IPAs). I’ve had Lagunita’s Pils and really liked it. Any other recs?
D’OH!
I hate you.
tigris — I’ll be interested to hear how your experience turns out. I’d love to grow barley, and have access to a pretty decent amount of land, but have been wary of the work involved. I’m not much of a gardener — harvesting and drying my hops is all I do right now.
And a resounding yes on our stupid laws — I’ve had a couple different people willing to pay reasonable money to serve my beer but it’s just too fucking ridiculous to get setup legally, and too much risk otherwise.
Fifteen years ago or so I found that for most Excel users a soggy cocktail napkin would be an improvement. We would be sitting in this planning meeting or that and people would put forth their proposals, analyses and recommendations frequently based on some Excel model they had worked up. Seven times out of ten I would find one or more mistakes in their models. Making decisions based on bad information is worse than having no information.
You know, I think Excel 2010 has a barley function. But you’d probably need to be comfortable with Visual Basic to get it to malt properly.
I like Southern Tier’s Eurotrash Pilz if you can get that…
Making decisions based on bad information is worse than having no information.
Worst thing about Excel is that if you have a pre-conceived notion of how things are supposed to turn out, you can always get there and have a model to back you up.
El M, did you build your own still, too? I wish I’d thought of it back in the day when I was studying metalwork, copper was so easy to get back then. I’d love to make apple brandy from my own apples, ooh and kirsch. I even have sugar beet seeds to grow my own sugar but I’ve read it’s hard for the DIYer to make the sugar taste clean, i.e. not beety. I also have too small a yard for all the shit I’d like to grow.
kg, I know you asked OBS and I’m not sure where you are, but Jack’s Abby in Framingham is all craft lagers.
Oh, and what neck are you in? That might help.
Markov chaining as JanusNode does it is really a pretty simple process – where there are two words in a row choose at random from all words that follow those two words throughout the file – and the Excel example is easier in a certain way. JanusNode doesn’t like funny characters and Excel handles them easily.
A problem is that I’d want to stick, say, the whole Bible in a cell but I believe the cell limit is pretty low. And the JanusNode works across multiple Markov tables. TimeCube plus Bible:
I’m in Chicago and have access to both Prima Pils and the Southern Tier so I’ll give them a go. Thanks!!
I swear at some point I’m gonna end up arrested for murder because of Excel. Inevitably after discussing some giant set of relational tables I’m working with I hear “ooh, those data look really interesting, can you get me a copy in excel so I can play with it?”
Grrr.
BIBLE CUBE!
I know building one yourself would be great, but you can get “essential oil” stills sort of legally.
Tig: I adapted one of those old giant pressure cookers that hippies used to make tofu back in the day, like 15L size. replace the pressure release valve with a copper fitting and attach your coil. Apple brandy, calvados, whatever, was what I started with and once I got going it was whoooo! I made a huge batch of plum brandy with blueberries instead of plums (not slivovitz, wait for it: blibovitz), pure honeyshine and, as I said, absinthe. It’s easy and fun. The most important investment after the pot is the small (2 gallon) oak cask I bought from a cooper out in up-state NY. Aging is multiplied by the smallness of your vessel so a year in that keg was like a smooth 8 year old whiskey. Only 145 proof. Getting married ended all that.
It’s like you read my job description. Someone has to provide the data that boneheaded product managers and sales managers will use to draw the exact wrong conclusion.
I swear at some point I’m gonna end up arrested for murder because of Excel. Inevitably after discussing some giant set of relational tables I’m working with I hear “ooh, those data look really interesting, can you get me a copy in excel so I can play with it?”
I call fake story. Very few people say “those data look.”
I work with scientificamists.
There’s a beer/wine supply store here that sells stills, apparently it’s legal to own one as long as you REALLY REALLY only use it to distill water. Don’t know if you have to register it so they can check up on you, or if you could pay cash and be free and clear. They’re lovely, but not even in the same zip code as affordable. Pressure cooker looks like the easy way, and I’ve totally not downloaded plans for reflux AND pot stills made with them because that would be naughty.
Very naughty! And I don’t have a large pressure-cooker that I bought at Goodwill that already happened to be missing its pressure relief valve.
I need to find a cheap small cask though, the only one I found locally was more money than one of the stills.
Uh, just to age beer in, of course.
As long as you don’t sell it in dixie cups down by the schoolyard there is no risk involved. I know a fair number of hobbyists and none of them give a fig about enforcement because they’re discreet. It is really easy to make magnificent liquor with even a small still, but the bigger you go, the easier it gets. The first time you do a micro shot of 84% fresh from the coil and it sublimates in your mouth so there’s no swallowing, well, perhaps I’ve said too much.
It’s like you really really hate capitalism.
i see that march is ‘brain injury month’…this explains some of mona’s rant for me…
I’m embarrassed to admit that I had to look up Tracy Flick.
Don’t be, I had too as well, having not seen the movie. I do take solace in the likely fact that the DoughbobDoucheHat would shudder if he saw the picture. Though I imagine that he would be much more likely to know the character than you or I. Now if only we could figure out a way to rick roll him…
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I’m embarrassed to admit that I had to look up Tracy Flick.
i’m such a wholesome thing that i thought the major was doing his arnold horschack impersonation…i am afraid to google this tracy flick…
I figure I’d skip wooden casks and throw oak chips into a storage vessel. Would that not work? If the angels want a share they can build their own damn still.
Yeah, my understanding is they don’t really care as long as you’re not selling it, but the law on the books lets them take your house so I do have to overcome both personal and husbandly trepidation.
As long as you have a freezer why do you need a still? I believe one of the ways the British colonists in New England made apple jack was to freeze cider and toss out the ice.
i am afraid to google this tracy flick…
Just a character played by rees weatherspoon in a movie calle the election or something, I think Matthew Broderick stars also too…
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Just a character played by rees weatherspoon in a movie calle the election or something, I think Matthew Broderick stars also too…
oh. well then i guess instead of being ‘wholesome’ i’m just a dork…
Election’s worth seeing.
and now i get the chunky reference…duh…my brane hurtz today!
Well, with a still you have greater control, supposed to taste better, and the freezer method doesn’t allow you to discard the methanol like a still does. Plus I think if you want to make neutral spirits it’s not even possible the freezer way.
Helmut, buddy, because that’s just gross. Stilling cleans out all the other fermentation products and they add up. While I like the romance of sturdy quebecois freezing their brandy, putting a redhot poker through the bung hole ( !!! ) and drinking the “heart of ice” it is not a civilized way to make a fine tipple.
A red-hot poker in the bunghole is evidently enough to kill it.
Someone’s bucking for a speechwriting gig in the Santorum campaign.
Je suis desolé.
I wonder if DKW has ever used Filemaker. Sure would be a lot easier as a JanusNode-type text manipulator. Last I looked fields can contain a couple of gigs of data.
Yeah, real databases have been able to handle gigabyte+ fields for years.
Oracle 11g is currently limited to 128TB CLOBs and BLOBs, so you know, try not to be too wordy.
Election is the best description of the dynamics of an election I’ve seen in a movie.
with a still you have greater control, supposed to taste better, and the freezer method doesn’t allow you to discard the methanol like a still does
This sounds important. Isn’t methanol what causes blindness and/or death?
Regarding the exchange between PM and OBS about: “ooh, those data look really interesting, can you get me a copy in excel so I can play with it?”
Speaking as a scientificimist myself (I’m typing this while running an NMR spectrum, actually), not only is “those data look” a tip off that you are dealing with scientific types, but so is “get me a copy in excel so I can play with it”. 😉
Bonus points if they copy/paste the data into MATLAB or some such. Extra bonus points for using OCTAVE
Current Filemaker stats. I really miss using it in comparison to the built-over-Oracle stuff. It was easy to change and easy to look at.
Je suis desolé.
What’s troubling you manq?
(what little french I do know, I know that one).
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placed is packed to the gills with high level Geeketry (like Rocketry, but more general in scope) ne’er do wellery, and a bunch of adults who are still the class clowns that drove certain teachers batty, which is why I luvs it and ya’ll.
brb, this salad is not gonna eat itself.
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Thanks for backing me up DAS.
I took it to mean El M. was apologizing for killing the thread with a red-hot poker up the bunghole.
But we brought it back to life, so it’s not big deal. Well, except ZOMBIES!
If Subby and N_B say so I will look into watching “Election” next time the opportunity presents itself.
I somehow despite all odds managed to win the Senior Class Election as President and overlord, a victory of a party of three bright but not the most popular dudes and one stoner layabout (carry the one…) make that one and a half stoner layabouts (I ran XC and track with a brief interlude with the swimteam.
We ran a faily inventive/subversive campaign and took out the team of girls who had won the previous three years, oh and were they pissed.
I guess my initial unfavorable impression of the movie was a result that it brought back some memories, that I was not prepared to relive at the time. Like the time the health teacher noticed one of our campaign posters in one of the stairwells after having walked by it a hundred times at least: {Picture of a clock-analog- Hour hand was on 7 minute hand was on 14 and the makers mark was Lemon. Tagline It’s time for KOGS (which happened to be the first letter of our names} Health teacher when finally realizing the drug reference busted us, and I remember the ominous call for my presence being needed in the principals office over the intercom. They almost tossed us out of the race for that bit. We did try to feign ignorance, but I’ll hand it to the Vice Principal, he was a smart old dude, who sniffed out that ruse right and quick.
Pretty much shit I can laugh about now.
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I took it to mean El M. was apologizing for killing the thread with a red-hot poker up the bunghole.
Thanks OBS that makes perfect sense, allthough an image like that one is very unlikely to kill a thread round these parts…
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Mine, all mine! So’s nobuddy better fuck the place up while I boot up another os.
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Isn’t methanol what causes blindness and/or death?
Sure, but it’s up in the heads where real dragons lie, think nail polish remover. In the tails, with methanol, are a bunch of aldehydes with, er, disturbing effects on the mammalian tropic level. This is why you want to know your shiner pretty well.
There are at least a few full spectrum distillates available commercially around the world. The easiest to experience are the aforementioned slivovitz and the phony “rum” and “whiskey” sold by the Thai liquor monopoly. Whoooeee.
I think I’ll stay away from Thai Liquor then.
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It’s all good fun until someone gets a hot poker up the bunghole.
I took it to mean El M. was apologizing for killing the thread with a red-hot poker up the bunghole.
Relevant:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gareth1953/4060082530/
It’s all good fun until someone gets a hot poker up the bunghole.
Save that line. You’ll be wanting it when the RNC gets to Tampa.
For veracity.
Re “those data” I didn’t hear it all that much even when I wuz werkin with academicalists, except for a few stuffed shirt types.
Relevant:
Well someone appears to be having fun there.
FWIW, my time in academialand was mostly before those newfangled personal computers were everywhere.
Sorry, was it something I said?
Sorry, was it something I said?
Not at all you did A fine job with your temporary stewardship of the thread. I, also too, was first in acememialand was before the ubiquity of the thing, They were still using punchcards, Fortran and Cobol, Though in my last year of middle school we had a single TRS-80 and played around for a bit with basic. When I went back 7 years later for a single semester, they had all of these computer labs with these cute macs. I was mystified for a minute, but had a friend who was a lab consultant and she got me up to speed fairly quickly.
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BTW pup if I am ever in your neck of the woods, I will offer up my services as a sous chef, or kitchen bitch if you prefer. I have been doing alot of creative shit with the limited supplies on hand, and I suspect that some of it has been unconsciously inspired by some of the fantastic penthouse letter quality (actually far surpassing) of the food pron you supply on occasion.
Ever thought about a food blog?
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We must be around the same age, because that describes my experience almost exactly (except for the Cobol and the TRS-80—we used a remote computer). Basic for us was what crystal radio sets were for our parents’ generation.
I just realized another reason to root for Vermont (aside from the fact that I have a couple of cyberfriends who are rooting for them). The Coach of the other team played Highschool ball with a good friend of mine who says he was pretty much a gigantic dickhead. Not surprising as the Acorn does not fall far from the tree.
Think Irving/Bill Kristol. Dude should never had a scholarship on my hometown team.
/crossing fingers-no jinxies
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So, not a single candidate spoke out regarding today being Pi Day.
The bastards.
Yeah, I keep meaning to start blogging but I just don’t give a shit about anything that much. It sounds odd but I don’t really focus on cooking – I’ve never been able to focus on any one thing much. I jdon’t think I could find the focus to maintain a blog.
Re kitchen bitch, send me some pics and I’ll discuss it with The Ho. I’m curious as to your … qualifications. But then, you being … you and all, I doubt there would be any problem. IYKWIMAITYD
Basic for us was what crystal radio sets were for our parents’ generation
Perty much. Looking for a cheep winter hobby in 2000 (I owned a bicycle repair shop at the time, and winter months are lean) I rediscovered crystal radio thanks to the interwebs and built a bunch of them experimenting with antenna configurations coil configurations etc.
Being unaware that we were approching a solar maximum I was astonished one night to find that I was listening to Radio Cuba (from central indiana) and later heard something that i was sure was Chinese, and later German (I am sure that these were relay stations, but still). Three months later I had relearned the morse code and passed the novice test and got my second amatuer radio liscence, three months later I passed the General class theory test and within a couple of months had many contacts but most intersting to me was making it into France, Tomsk, Russia, and Bogata, Columbia on a little over two watts output. (operater names were Dan, Stan, and Dan). I can’t remember where the French Dan was from being my first international contact (“Holy shit, that’s my callsign, WTF….cool it man relax and don’t fuck this up”).
Over the course of the next 16 months I put around 120 countries in the log…Good times. there is something magical about throwing some watts into a wire antenna and working the world.
Anyhoo, Sorry about that, but that crystal radio ref tripped a switch.
I think alot of us are in the same age cohort I am currently approching the beginning of my 47th trip round the sun as an oxygen breathing entity.
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Pup, its hard for me to focus, too. There’s a reason why my last blog was called “Smorgasbord…”
I do find myself returning to the same things again and again tough…politics, music, movies, food, humor…I guess it works.
Oh, and Lord Chubbington.
DAS, what types of things are you running NMR on? Academic or industrial setting? Inquiring mind wants to know/
Yeah, I keep meaning to start blogging but I just don’t give a shit about anything that much.
Me too, though my problem is more about being pretty sure that nobody else gives much of a shit what I have to say. I’ll just get mad and threaten someone’s life. Where’s the fun in that?
I jdon’t think I could find the focus to maintain a blog.
I know what you mean, i have at least 6 running and most if not all are in fallow. Now to be sure at least three were topical gag blogs like FreshlypaintedIraqiSchools etc. you can probably decide if you are interested.
I will suggest that you simply take pictures at a stage or two of the process, describe the shit being made, email it to me and I would be happy to maintain such a space. Another of the blogs started but time constraints, etc, and layoff killed Cubical Kitchen. An IT guy and I (customer service tech service rep) woud do some mad lunch making using a hot plate and toaster oven. We made some badd assed French onion soup with the properly camelized cheese in the toaster oven, I would make specialty omelets on the hot plate…we whipped up all kinds of crazy shit, and eventually I had the idea that we should share.
In any event it is for some reason easier to help out someone who has talent that exceeds my own sometimes, though if I have to brag, I figure I’d best you maybe, maybe two out of ten times in an Iron chef type of competition.
In any event just think about taking pictures of the process and presentation, or consider vlogging the proscess, I can handle the annoying shit related to getting it up on the webs, and would make sure that you were satisfied with the way the site looked and felt.
Anyhoo I am serious on both accounts though I do not see myself making it anywhere near Ore-gon in the near future.
Think about it. “the Liberal epicurian” or somesuch.
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Yeah, I keep meaning to start blogging but I just don’t give a shit about anything that much. It sounds odd but I don’t really focus on cooking – I’ve never been able to focus on any one thing much.
I am the same way, my interests veer wildly across the spectrum, and the only thing I know for certain is that while I have demonstrated a remarkable capacity to develop a high level of skill in many disciplines, I have yet to find a muse. I am (regarding the first part of the last sentence) one of the finest bicycle mechanics in the country, but after 20 years of that shit and what with it becoming less of a creative outlet what with shimano joining the world of planned obsolescence…that and dealing with a bunch of nerd Jock assholes…I looked for other lines of work.
However I have finally relented and applied to two of the shops in town, one at which i worked for 15 years and another that I have known since o bought my first racing bike. i sensed that both of the dudes “running” the operations are terrified of my return which sucks for the both of us. All i want to do is come in for 15-20 hours a week and knock out more shit than 3 people you pay to do the same work in 60 hours. I don’t want your fucking job…Fear is the mind killer.
Hopefully the owners of the operation will catch wind of my interest, or I might have to make it so, but that would likely…sometimes a brother can’t win…
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Me too, though my problem is more about being pretty sure that nobody else gives much of a shit what I have to say. I’ll just get mad and threaten someone’s life. Where’s the fun in that?
I made my blog to play. Nobody gives a shit what I say and I’m fine with that.
Oh you’d be surprised, I’m sure a shit is given here or there…
the aforementioned slivovitz and the phony “rum” and “whiskey” sold by the Thai liquor monopoly
My tasting notes for Laotian ‘Red Lion’ whiskery (“Smooth & Mollon; Brewed & bottled by Expert from Australia”):
The packaging had a a cell-phone number if you wanted to contact the complaints department.
Me too, though my problem is more about being pretty sure that nobody else gives much of a shit what I have to say. I’ll just get mad and threaten someone’s life. Where’s the fun in that?
When I finally decided to start my first blog I was pissed and inspired by a Steve Gilliard piece on a Cosby speech essentially telling poor black people to get their shit together, and while I hoped for a wide readership my initial writing, topic choice, wev, seemed not up to the task, so I realized that I was doing it for myself. I eventually had some fans made some freinds that were not part of my internet coterie, and it was during the 2004 election year start date July 4 2004. anyhoo if you find yourself wanting a trip on the wayback machine through my eyes, skim the 500 or so posts from independance day to a significant dropoff after Blackwell and rove stole ohio.
You can write well intentioned crap on the internets and still connect with people, something I do almost on a daily basis. i would only ask that if you visit the site narrow your browser two center the vetruvian men as that was how it was designed to look on the old school monitors. If nothing else I am still proud of the design (significant hacks to the template, etc.)
Anyway no more apologies I own this thread and will have my way with it. But if any of you want help, i am currently have the time to do so. I was gonna change that last sentence but dig the all your bases vibe…accidental extemporanity.
Anyhoo, you know where to find me. and thanks for the real estate.
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Well, I’m always happy to help keep the public regular, kg. 😀
Smooth & Mollon; Brewed & bottled by Expert from Australia
You know you’re dealing with quality there.
Oh and ftr I think you’d make an awesome blogger too. Cuz you’re funny. And kind of HIP and WITH IT as the kids with their iTwits and Starbucks coffee say.
Dude, can you build me a sweet fixie?
(I hope you know I’m kidding) — I used to spend a shitload of time hanging around bike shops back in my (brief) MTB racing days and although I do almost all my own work now, I understand and greatly appreciate the value of the LBS.
If it hasn’t already been done you could do yet another blog (why not?) called Zen and the Art of The Bicycle Mechanic…
And I’m 42 (almost 43, shit!) and had similar experiences with TRS80s as my initial middle-school exposure to computers. Of course, the aging home-ec teacher was the one lassoed into teaching that class, so it started out pretty lame. Thankfully she was more than happy to let the geekiest of us take over and we ended up having a blast. Alas, I didn’t have much in the way of academic experience again (college? These flaming hoops you want me to jump through are really fucking annoying… I think I’m gonna bail…) until I managed to trick people into making me faculty. Now the “these/those data” thing is de rigueur.
Flavour dominated by rotten citrus fruits at the front of the tongue, with a lingering aftertaste of old coffee grounds.
Omg, there’s a durian fruit liquer?
Now that I think about it Mr. Pupienus Maximus, certain of us with a blog or seven might be convinced to give you the keys so that you could do the occasional foodie post if you didn’t want to have a blog all to yourself to alternately ignore/obsess about…
No pressure, just sayin’.
Now that I think about it Mr. Pupienus Maximus, certain of us with a blog or seven might be convinced to give you the keys so that you could do the occasional foodie post if you didn’t want to have a blog all to yourself to alternately ignore/obsess about…
I, for one,
won’t be shown up on my own blog by a guest posterwelcome our new foodie overlord.re: Filemaker
Heard of it. Have vague memories of fiddling way back in teh early days. To be honest, I never was much good with database applications. Certainly a database would be better for playing silly buggers with text, but I don’t really do much with text. Just like how writing some FORTRAN code would crunch numbers way better than I can get Excel to do. But I’m comfortable with Excel. And most of the time I don’t know what type of crunching I’ll be doing even after I’ve started, so being able to change gears on the fly helps a lot.
Also re: teh focus for maintaining a blog.
My solution? Don’t maintain it.
Only naughty people would attach themselves to a blog where other people do the writing. NAUGHTY!
My solution? Don’t maintain it.
I find posting complete idiocy every day to be easier than waiting for inspiration to post something worth posting.
Re FM & XL: to each his/her own tool.
Also naughty.
For the one or two other F1 Fans here – Grand Prix – The Killer Years is a gruesome but interesting show. It’s on Velocity now.
And remember to set the DVR for Melbourne this weekend…
Alas, I didn’t have much in the way of academic experience again (college? These flaming hoops you want me to jump through are really fucking annoying… I think I’m gonna bail…) until I managed to trick people into making me faculty. Now the “these/those data” thing is de rigueur.
Yeah I got to about 18 credit hours, mostly History with a mistaken foray into a 200 level Astronamy course (You mean you want me to extrapolate from Newtons gravitation equation, the escape velocity? [“crap I guess I should have showed up to class a bit more, and most definitely had some previous experience with calculus…I am fucked) and some comp lit. At which point I realized that it was better to be paid to learn a thing or learn it on your own, than pay for the sheepskin. I am happy that your journey through the process has been more successfull than my own. Also, too I have worked in a micro brewery, mostly in the keg cleaning, bottle line, and other grunt work, including shoveling the spent grain from a mashtun from the inside…About 8 to 10 feet in diameter and about six feet tall if memory serves.
Ihave attempted to wrap my head aroud database software, and was one pressed into attempting to create tables based on data from excell using csv (comma seperated…something, I had it earlier when you guys were discusiing SQL-like implementations.
I got some booze in me so forgive my Palining.
In any event regarding the fixie you do not need me to build, if you had access to the tubing you wanted the fixie to be contructed with, I could build you a frame with lugs or fillet brazed, as long as we were talking steel for about $700. You would have to pay for materials. Ypu want some bad ass wheels built, I prefer DT spokes, but would happily use whatever you like, and the per wheel price would be somewhere in the neighborhood of $50 labor (negotiable cause I like building wheels) again parts are on you (will trade for beer[your hoppiest of course]).
I always enjoy your style, the cut of your jib, and the fact that we are Brothers in Geeketry.
.
Something that I wrote on one of my many blogs, as if any of you care, alcohol people can render some impervious to shame.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Slapdash Bilgewater
The republican party is simply a Projection Racket.
The Media Industrial Complex (MIC) stands in as a Protection Racket for the former; The MIC simply ingests the shit of power, spits out village conventional wisdom and *poof*, history is something to be denied, scorned, and tossed aside in our rush to become a nation of bed shitting morons, a mob of retards, a murder of fools.
A snake with a tail in its mouth ingests its own waste inured to the once unpleasant stench by a evolutionary loss of a sense of smell or taste. Feasting on its own offal, has had negative effects on the process of Treason, an erosional impact on the emotion of empathy and a total loss of shame in the beast. With little more than the autonomic reflex provided by the medulla (or lizard brain) it is amazing that this beast remains alive.
Authoritarian Cults are about the maintanence of a strict hierarchy of power in service to that power and demanding no less than absolute fealty and obeisanse to the power structure.
Something I wrote a cou;e of years ago and had forgotten, I am thinking that tintin or cerbs should IP fire my ass., also I think that also, too, the semi-colon should stand in for the p and l.
Anyway thank you all for putting up with my shameless displays of candor resulting from a current need to feel somwhat good about myself.
.
I’ve never been able to focus on any one thing much. I jdon’t think I could find the focus to maintain a blog.
I like the unfocused ones.
Provider: thanks for the kind words. Rest assured if I needed a frame built I’d be happy to have you braze one for me. I like to do my own wheels though.
I’d do a more detailed response but a couple really strong beers and this stupid phone keyboard aren’t really conducive to such things.
This here is some some grade a snark.
http://www.rumproast.com/
This here is some some grade a snark.
http://www.rumproast.com/index.php/site/comments/dont_make_me_shill/
Ooops
there’s a durian fruit liquer?
I WOULD DRINK THAT.
I jdon’t think I could find the focus to maintain a blog.
What is this “focus” whereof you speak?
Go to reddit/r/formula1 to find live streaming. The Mellbunn race should be very very interesting.
Um, I caint even read this shit, being somewhat spiffflicated. Tomorrow, ok?
It’s almost like sadlies have a propensity for over imbibing or something… Nah, that’s unpossible.
Note, this comment would be unpossible without the help of autocorrect.
“Actually, I was too busy jerking off to intratronz pr0n until I got the citalopram, recently, which made it nigh impossible to get a bone for several weeks. Only THEN did I think of bigger issues outside of my own penis. ;)”
I remember my citalopram prescription, though not quite like that. There’s been recent discussion of meds’ sexual side effects that I identified with.
My new psychiatrist seems slow to prescribe. I think he’s trying to diagnose me! I appreciate this novel approach, but if it goes on too much longer, the question will arise: what am I paying for? I already have a therapist.
Preach it Charlie Pierce.
“The dangers of carbon dioxide? Tell that to a plant, how dangerous carbon dioxide is,” he said.
(I asked a tree in my front yard, Rick. It said it thought you were a colossal dick.)
As for Gingrich, well, I wouldn’t want to be the person tasked to go tell him it’s time to stop being The Emperor Of Ideas and go back to being the CEO of Keeping Callista Happy Industries, LLC. The man is the sole occupant of his own universe. Nobody can reach him to tell him of the other universes that exist within the same space as his. Santorum has positioned himself as an anti-intellectual. Gingrich has positioned himself nearly from birth as a pseudo-intellectual. In current Republican politics, guess which is more popular. (Ask a plant if you don’t believe me.) But how do you get him to leave? He believes himself to be the savior of western civilization. He’s got a big-money casino operator to bankroll his pipedreams and, if things slog along the way they’ve been going, Romney’s going to have to promise to create the Cabinet post of Secretary Of Genius for him just as payment for Gingrich’s staying in the race. The delicious spectacle of Willard Romney in the debt of Newt Gingrich is almost worth watching this mess roll on for the next three months.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/rick-santorum-alabama-mississippi-7333851#ixzz1p9t42DZW
Posted without further comment: I wonder if mote people would follow formula 1 if cars were still named things like “lotus climax”?
I’ll be in my bunk.
Ha ha ha
Lady Sadlys, you know what to do.
The Gov of Vagina, I mean Virginia is there to help.
https://www.facebook.com/bobmcdonnell
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/13/1074013/-Hilarious-VA-Right-Wingnut-Sen-Ryan-McDougle-Gets-a-Taste-of-His-Own-Transvaginal-Medicine-?showAll=yes
Alls you need to maintain a blog is a can of sewing machine oil and a ball peen hammer.
I hear tell that some fancy schamncy blogs for golfing babies has focus and such-like, but I don’t hold with that, it aten’t nactural
Alls you need to maintain a blog is a can of sewing machine oil and a ball peen hammer.
Add a van and a couple of coolers and you can maintain a band.
Alls you need to maintain a blog is a can of sewing machine oil and a ball peen hammer.
You can maintain anything with a ball peen hammer and a roll of duct tape.
If it moves and it shouldn’t – use the duct tape.
If it doesn’t move and it should – use the hammer.
All this talk about stills it’s like And the ass saw the angel up in here
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
I already have a therapist.
This new one wants to be known as The Rapist.
I’ve spent a lot of time around construction work and let me tell you: if you’ve got a beam in your eye, your new nickname is going to be Squinty.
,,,but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
You need extensive training and professional qualifications to properly consider I beams.
So, not a single candidate spoke out regarding today being Pi Day.
Well, we know Newt likes Pi.
Apple’s language sentinel has been schooled in political correctness at the expense of English.
Man, if I only knew a little bit of computer programming, you know what I’d do? I’d invent the First Official Conservative Thesaurus, so wingnut welfare writers all over the USA could Palin-ize their prose.
I’d be rich! Rich I tell you!
http://qctimes.com/news/local/gop-candidate-gives-pitch-at-wrong-convention/article_17276782-6c97-11e1-8e2b-001871e3ce6c.html
GOP candidate gives pitch at wrong convention
Rashah McChesney
Dan Dolan, Iowa 2nd District Republican Candidate.
By all accounts it was an honest mistake, political party convention attendees said.
Republican congressional candidate Dan Dolan of Muscatine arrived early at the Monroe County Courthouse for the Republican convention being held Saturday in Albia, Iowa.
Unfortunately, the county Democrats were holding their convention in the same building, and Dolan spoke to the wrong group of people.
“Nobody asked enough questions before he started speaking,” Monroe County Supervisor Denny Ryan said. “It finally got to the point in the speech where one of the people said, ‘Are you sure you’re at the right convention?’”
Dolan laughed Monday when he described the encounter.
“It was a crazy day,” Dolan said. “We had scheduled 10 speaking engagements through the district.”
Dolan and a staffer arrived at the courthouse and headed up the stairs into the convention.
“My staffer runs up and says, ‘Hey, Dan Dolan is here. Can he speak?’ So they stopped everything, and I get up there and give my speech,” Dolan said. “I get done, a guy raises his hand and says, ‘I think you want to talk to the Republicans.’”
Ryan said he understood how such a goof-up could occur. The Republican convention was scheduled to begin at 1 p.m., and the Democratic convention at 11 a.m.
“I could see where somebody might have left a one off,” he said. “Generally, how they work is these candidates are running their tails off trying to get into every convention.”
Dolan said he made it to nine other conventions and traveled several hundred miles to do so.
“I’m not sure how many votes I won in the room that day,” he said. “It was one of those silly things, but I think everybody was very, very good about it.”
Ryan said that the whole situation was comical.
“We just didn’t ask enough questions. He was very polite about things,” Ryan said. “He’s a great guy; he didn’t offend anybody.”
Dolan and John Archer of Bettendorf are campaigning for the GOP nomination to challenge Rep. Dave Loebsack, D-Iowa, for the 2nd Congressional District seat.
While the day continued without hiccup and Dolan said he was heartened by the convention turnouts, he and his staff learned their lesson.
“From that point on, we checked at every place we stopped,” he said. “We said, ‘Is this the Republican convention?’”
Copyright 2012 The Quad-City Times. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed
“This new one wants to be known as The Rapist.”
He’s eighty-four, remarkably spry, but he won’t be rapin’ me, nohow.
He just doesn’t give pills right away to every Tom, Dick, and Harry that comes in complaining of depression and anxiety. My co-pay is very low, so I will tolerate as many visits as this takes.
heh
As a follow up to the distillation discussion of yesterday, how does using a still, as opposed to freezing remove methanol and other non-ethanol hydrocarbons?
When you freeze it you’re concentrating all the alcohols, including methanol. When you distill you’re actually performing a separation (taking advantage of the differences in boiling point between ethanol and methanol)
I could tell a joke about UDP but you probably wouldn’t get it.
considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye
Uh, the book by Nick Cave. Euchrid’s alcoholic mother distills spirits:
Ma Crow has three stills. These are the brews. White Jesus – Apple Jack – Stew. The hobos call White Jesus – which she makes from potato peelings – White Lightning, but the cane-men call it Ecker’s Tears. Ma Crow’s choice is White Jesus. The Apple Jack is Jack to the hobos, Widow’s Piss or Widow-Water to the cane-men. Apple Jack is the most popular brew as it is nearly drinkable. Unlike White Jesus, Apple Jack will solidify when frozen. The hobos call Stew, Stew mostly, though some of the older ones mix it up with Ma Crow’s choice and call it wrongly Stewed Jesus. The cane-men call it Stiff, Piss, Swill, Bilge, Shit, and it is made from any fermentable scraps. This brew is often touch and go and is sold cheaper than the rest.
He just doesn’t give pills right away to every Tom, Dick, and Harry that comes in complaining of depression and anxiety.
Which is, of course, his job.
I could tell a joke about UDP but you probably wouldn’t get it.
Depends on what kind of error detection and correction protocol was layered over it.
(taking advantage of the differences in boiling point between ethanol and methanol)
Not to mention the aldehydes, fusels, nail polish remover and the stuff that smells like hot bananas.
I remember my citalopram prescription, though not quite like that. There’s been recent discussion of meds’ sexual side effects that I identified with.
That was mostly me, oversharing. 🙂
As I said, the effects of all those meds are highly variable amongst individuals. I just happen to know of one that is effective, and for me has one very pleasant side-effect, so I kinda want to stick with it.
.
Hot bananas! Gitya hot bananas, heah!
.
Methanol, acetone, and the fusels have slightly different boiling points from ethanol so can be partially removed by throwing out a certain portion of the heads, which are the first runnings and contain the majority of nasty things with lower boiling points than ethanol, and the tails, the ass end which contains most of the stuff with higher bps. A useful chart. You can distill multiple times to remove more, as well. You don’t have to remove all the nasties, as they were in the wine or beer or whatever you used as a wash and that was safe, it only gets to be a problem with distillates because they’re concentrated. And some of them aren’t actually dangerous, just taste bad. The linked site has tons of great info if distillation is an interest.
I was doing a run once with a friend, up in the holler in the traditional way, it was winter and we had a bonfire going. On a whim we threw the heads, about 100ml worth, towards the fire and it made an astounding flash of blue flame 12 feet high. My buddy gulped.
“We’ve been drinking that.” he said. Meaning in the hard cider we were working with. The whole idea of distilling is removing lots of bad things. Some folks, even whole tribes of folks, become attached to the bizarre effects of those non-ethanols (once again, slivovitz!) but sane topers like their ethanol mostly pure, with some flavour.
Not to mention the aldehydes, fusels, nail polish remover and the stuff that smells like hot bananas.
Hold on there fella! You don’t want to dump Esther – she’s got good taste and smells good too.
I don’t trust me enough to try distilling. Brewing beer? Absolutely. One of the first thangs I would do when I run into money again would be to buy a nice brewing setup. I always enjoyed brewing.
.
So if my basic understanding of chemistry is not leading me astray, freeze distillation will get rid of water and any hydrocarbons that freeze. I think that would be the longer chain ones, that you are referring to as the ‘tails’. Which would leave the ethanol and the more volatile hydrocarbons which you refer to as the ‘head’. If I wanted to remove the head, it would require distillation again.
It takes very low temps to remove a significant amount of tails, like -40.
The content of non-ethanols can be significantly reduced by careful fermentation on the front end (yeast management, strict temp control) but the higher your volume the less this is possible.
So this mead that was served at a party I recently attended, didn’t do anything for me, so I stopped after half a glass. My fiancee had two or three glasses and had a ferocious hangover that lasted the entire next day. Now some of that could me that her normal limit is one beer but some of that could be the presence of alcohols other than ethanol? Would careful fermentation reduce those? or would you again, have to distill it to remove those other alcohols, and then, assuming you didn’t want mead liquor, add more water?
I’ve never made mead, but it is infamous for giving people headaches even when fermented very carefully.
Mead, because of honey’s anti-microbial qualities, is difficult to make well. Most amateur mead is fermented at too high temps, over long periods and has an appalling spectrum of stuff. A feller named Ken Schramm has written a very good book about making mead, I know him and have tasted his meads, and anyone interested in making mead should follow his instructions.
When people hear “mead” they assume it will be sweet, because, honey. Most commercial meaderies artificially stop fermentation to leave 20-30% of available sugars unfermented. This also has significant hangover potential.
I’ve made bulk mead and stilled it ( honeyshine! ) and found it less problematic than some other washes but I make pretty good mead.
tldr: yes, yes and yes
I’m not sure my insurance covers “burned down condominium while attempting to run a homemade still”.
I’m not sure my insurance covers “burned down condominium while attempting to run a homemade still”.
Just tell ’em you were deep frying a turkey, I’m sure there’s an insurance code for that.
All that sugar. Look up “sugar hangover.”
Who am I kidding, I would have drunk the stuff like a fish (and suffered the next day) if the guy offering it to me wasn’t an offensive stereotype of a new age liberal. I’ve know the guy for 20 years, and there isn’t a new-age neo-pagan neo-hippy trend this guy hasn’t followed. I can’t tell if he is disingenuous as fuck or gullible as hell. Sadly, he is friends with all of my friends.
Tl;dr
not drinking anymore mead
I’m imagining the explosion as my still blasts through the roof on its way into low earth orbit.
A TCP, an IP and a UPD walk into a bar…
Pup’s right, again.
Used your technique for fried chicken last night (poaching in buttermilk/chicken stock) because my sous-vide app was still involved in brewing. Tossed in seasoned and herbed flour, fried in oil, rendered pork lard and bacon fat, 2:1:1
Really good, thanks, PJ.
Sous-vide for 8 hours @140F in a dilute buttermilk/stock is my usual method but a light poaching for 20 minutes was damn good.
Heh, “GOP morans” are dastardly criminals too!
Tl;dr
not drinking anymore mead
I’ve got some 6 year old methode champenoise wild Maine blackberry mead that might make you change your mind.
They are forecasting rain. Yay!
whoisthis you’retalking about? Was itbiffor one of those fuckingcouriers?It’s all fun and games ’til somebody gets
fingered.“Which is, of course, his job.”
Perhaps not precisely. Previous doctors have done about what a chimp could do. “Try these pills, tell me what happens, we’ll try something else if need be.”
Nobody has wanted to diagnose me. If there’s no appropriate term, they could at least have told me. Having someone with a PhD. nod when I say I am depressed and anxious (esp. in social situations) is not worth much.
My father hustled doctors for many years prior to his overdose. I find it refreshing that this psychiatrist is trying to figure me out. Zoloft was OK but I am not running off the rails without it in the meantime.
If it moves and it shouldn’t – use the duct tape.
If it doesn’t move and it should – use the hammer.
What is this, some sort of Republican sex manual?
Yes please.
I’m imagining the explosion as my still blasts through the roof on its way into low earth orbit.
You’ve lived too long to be a careless person, Mr Pilot.
And Jeffraham, you don’t need money to brew. Being broke was one of my motivators, because otherwise I would’ve had to DRINK LESS. I read folks who get icing buckets for free from bakeries to use as fermenters, even folks who malt their own barley bought from feed stores though that seems over the top to me. You can of course spend more and have gorgeous equipment if you’re into that, but you can make great beer without anything fancy.
Agreed 100%
Furthermore, while I personally have built up a nice professional-grade brewery over many years, some of the worst homebrew I’ve had has come from people with the fanciest equipment. It’s easy to lose sight of the art of the process itself and concentrate way too much on fancy gear and gadgets.
And to bring it back on topic: fancy homebrewing equipment is about as relevant to brewing good beer as the best word processor in the world is to Mona Charen producing decent writing.
We could put this on a flag.
And Jeffraham, you don’t need money to brew.
Well, you need some, for ingredients, etc. As I am having trouble securing rent, I think I will put it off until something resembling a job happens. 🙂
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TOO DRUNK TO TYPE ON PHONE would have been perfectly acceptable.
What can I say, I’m so verbose that I am verbose when explaining why I can’t be more verbose. See also: me working in academia.
Think about it. “the Liberal epicurian” or somesuch.
Some while back I was hemming and hawing, dragging my feetses sort of kind of thinking about making a blog. We discussed names and I think “Live left, cook right” was the winner.
I did start a blog long ago but never made any posts. I think it was called CuringReligion … Yeah, http://curingreligion.blogspot.com/ FWIW, I first wrote “religion is a disease” somewhere around 1975 or so, in my journal. Such verbiage used to generate a lot more … resentment than it does today. That is, the inidividuals who resent it do so with no less fervor than befor but far fewer folks resent it these days. Hi actor!
So is blogspot the right place to do it? I think I still have my own domain … yep, http://abba-dingo.com * Aside from uploading stuff to imgur I haven’t done diddly squat to put anything on teh intraducks in years.
Lil’ help?
* It might interest Mr. Clyde et al. – that was what I named my consulting company. No one ever got it.
TOO DRUNK TO TYPE ON PHONE
would have been perfectly acceptablewould be a good third-party platform.Yer very welcome, El M.! It’s a quick and easy trick for a great result closely approximating what you get from the longer, more involved procedure.
I feels ya, Jeffraham. Thankfully I got a 50 lb bag-o-malt and slightly more hops than my freezer would comfortably hold while the paychecks were still coming in. I hope things turn out well for you, and for us, because I’ve determined than being broke kind of sucks.
How do you like your martinis?
All bloging platforms suck.
FYBlogger is easy if you already have a google account you want to use.
Pup, thanks for the martini! Dry as the Sahara, please.
Yes. Blogger’s spam filter for comments appears to me to be excellent. Let’s not talk about N__B’s blog getting locked and destroyed through some robotic process.
Being broke was one of my motivators, because otherwise I would’ve had to DRINK LESS.
To hell with poverty, we’ll get drunk on cheap wine!
I did start a blog long ago but never made any posts. I think it was called CuringReligion … Yeah,
Blog what you know- how about Pupienus’ Food Porn and Porn Porn Blog?
Let’s not talk about N__B’s blog getting locked and destroyed through some robotic process.
Twice in the space of three weeks. Which is why I am now on WP. It’s not perfect, but its been much less of a hassle than Booger.
I swear that apostrophe was there.
you could combine a cooking blog and CuringReligion. I’m thinking hickory smoked Catholics and honey mesquite Lutherans.
Another problem with Blogger is that they tend to roll out changes on you without asking. Images and templates and little customizations may go wonky on you. Dunno if WordPress is quite so interesting in fucking with their users. Then there’s Google’s ongoing evil push to have all its users identified and unanonymized. You know, it might be best not to encourage the bastards.
I’m thinking hickory smoked Catholics and honey mesquite Lutherans.
Oh, and he can share that bun recipe so folks will have something to stuff all that meat into.
Oh, and he can share that bun recipe so folks will have something to stuff all that meat into.
Insert altar boy joke…
you could combine a cooking blog and CuringReligion. I’m thinking hickory smoked Catholics and honey mesquite Lutherans.
I guess Smoked Rastafarians and jerky Evangelicals would be redundant. Or maybe pickled Presbyterians…
GOP to Obama: “You fucked up, Barry – you trusted US!”
Insert altar boy joke…
I thought the problem was that the priests were inserting their jokes in the alter boys.
How about Salt Curing Religion?
Truth be told, I’m getting a little bit aroused by teh idea of a PupMax blog. Totes heterosexually, of course.
yep, http://abba-dingo.com *
What you do there, I see it.
1). Shocked, SHOCKED I say.
2). Fuck these shitheels.
TOO DRUNK TO TYPE ON PHONE would be a good
third-partyblogging platform.TDTTOP can be a new “pardon my typos” meme.
I like it better than “‘scuse my fingahs!”
Okay then. No promises but I’ll really really really think about doing it. Shall I start with my tuna melt lunch? Heh, I would if it wasn’t just plain ol’ canned tuna and store bread.
Now, I bought a whole beef brisket t ‘udder day. I will start the cure this afternoon. I don’t brine it – I much prefer a rub and vacuum sealing. Besides which, it’s ready in three to five days. Not in time for St. Pats; boo fucking hoo. I’ll make pork and cabbage something Saturday!
Special note to BBBB: Yeah I KNOW I paid twice as much for the meat as the corned beef on sale but I DON’T CARE. My home made corned beef is FAR superior to that mass market crap.
Corned beef and cabbage isn’t Irish anyways. It’s Irish-American.
How hot does the tuna have to get before it melts? Do you take any precautions against tuna sublimation?
Insert Jorma Kaukonen to test
I was so excited to type “Jorma Kaukonen” that I blew the punctuation right out of the comment.
Corned beef and cabbage isn’t Irish anyways. It’s Irish-American.
Oh, right. Next thing you’ll b e telling me Chop Suey is Chinese, French Fries aren’t French, and Mexi-melts aren’t edible!
How hot does the tuna have to get before it melts? Do you take any precautions against tuna sublimation?
Temperature control is important when distilling tuna. You do not want any of the nasty congeners* in the final product.
* A.K.A. ‘lutefisk’.
Corned beef and cabbage isn’t Irish anyways. It’s Irish-American.
Isn’t that also true of St. Patrick’s Day?
How hot does the tuna have to get before it melts? Do you take any precautions against tuna sublimation?
Tuna salad is good. Hot tuna is sublime. That’s kind of the whole point, DUH!
And, because it needs to be said:
.
.
.
.
Sublimating the tuna.
What’s this about a tuna sub with lime? You have my rapt attention until the cilantro comes out.
I was so excited to type “Jorma Kaukonen” that I blew the punctuation right out of the comment.
There I was, googling furiously to come up with that name and it just rolls right off your fingers. I don’t even know why I bother.
Cilantro is GAY?!?!!?!
At Taco Time tater tots are “Mexi Fries”
Cilantro is GAY?!?!!?!
Well, I’m trying not to use “gay” as a pejorative. But yes.
OBS – FP1 will be live streamed at Δx/Δt starting 6:30 this evening. No idea whether it’s being broadcast or when.
Ladies! You can get ‘cherself a Real Man!
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2012/03/15/virtual-manhood-is-better-than-no-manhood-at-all/
Thanks PM, the DVR is set for everything Speed has available, but I don’t think they’re broadcasting FP1.
Cilantro is GAY?!?!!?!
Well, it is certainly fabulous!
Ladies! You can get ‘cherself a Real Man!
Also.
Well, I’m trying not to use “gay” as a pejorative. But yes.
That’s cool, I try really hard not to use “Canadian” as a pejorative.
HAHAHAHA
http://www.broadsheet.ie/2012/03/14/meanwhile-in-queens
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2012/03/15/virtual-manhood-is-better-than-no-manhood-at-all/
Holy fuck.
Love the last twit, too: hey, if lefties comment on the totally public tweets of THIS guy, we have the right to dig up private, personal info on THAT guy! You dumb, ain’t you?
Keeping it classy, GOP.
That’s cool, I try really hard not to use “Canadian” as a pejorative.
Is that even possible?
Cilantro marriage ruins the sanctity of traditional marriage, unless the marriage is Mexican, Indian, Chinese…
Gah. There’s a link in the comments that points to more examples. Yeah, classy is the word.
God damn. My eyes can’t unsee that shit and now I feel like throwing up.
Advocacy at its best:
Funny comment over at Balloon Juice:
…maybe George W. Bush really was the brains of the party and with him gone, they don’t know what to do.
God damn. My eyes can’t unsee that shit and now I feel like
throwing uplocking and loading.Fixed for greater anger.
When doesn’t she? And hey, let’s not bee looksist — let her unhinged actions speak for themselves.
Hot Tuna
Does she look mentally unhinged?
Sometimes I wonder if my dog is brain damaged but then I think, it’s a dog – how could one tell? Now why did that come to mind?
Pups, I admit it – it has been fuzzswaggled.
abba-dingo? A swedish pop group took my baby?
Nah – can’t get there – I admit it openly and without shame (much).
Plz to help.
Evidently I’m still thinking about mead.
Re: Does she look mentally unhinged?
To use the typical rightwing logic: Well, that just begs the question of why isn’t SarahPAC releasing the photos of catatonic Palin sprawled out on the floor with 3×5 cards strewn all over? Huh, huh? Isn’t it time to come clean and tell the truth? She’s obviously hiding something by only releasing photos that show her not drooling all over herself.
Hot Tuna takes me back.
abba-dingo? A swedish pop group took my baby?
Pupienus Maximus knows that some of the Sadly,Nocracy worship at the shrine of Cordwainer Smith.
It’s all good fun until someone gets a hot poker up the bunghole.
i am SO embroidering this on a pillow…where shall i send it, major?
also, too, good bob you people are yakky! how am i supposed to read through all the good lulz while still trying to get some work done?!?!?
oh, fine…i see how y’all are…well i’m going to go back to work, then! and then i’m going to get a bit inebriated, so i might be back…
That thread rocked. Heh. I miss PeeJ and that Righteous Bubba guy and the Malignant Bouffant. Those were real commentaters, not like you current buncha slackers.
Ah, thanks Smut.
In the land of the geeks, the Foodpron Emperor is King.
Erm .. if you see what I mean.
If Scrooge was Jewish, then why was his Nephew always trying to get him to celebrate Christmas. And other people trying to get him to celebrate Christmas…
Oh, and he enjoyed celebrating Christmas in his youth at Fezziwig’s, until he turned into a crotchety old miser.
Scrooge was not Jewish, he was a member of the CoE, just not a very pious one.
I mean didn’t you ever hear Adam Sandler’s horrible Hanukkah song? (He points out that Scrooge isn’t Jewish.)
If Scrooge were Jewish, the whole story wouldn’t make any sense. This isn’t exactly “The Merchant of Venice” over here.
Sincerely, the Charles Dickens Appreciation Society.
Those were real commentaters, not like you current buncha slackers.
Also Tigrismus. She liked Can. Yay!
Ah, The Fool, we hardly knew ye.
Hey, back, on snazzy new Win7 netbook (a gift from a sweet person)!
Yeah, I had evidently mentally blocked the reason why we couldn’t actually type “fool” here for so long.
OK the Absolut commercial with the robot dogs and the techo is really fucking weird.
Also Tigrismus.
Whatever happened to her? And that Righteous Bubba fellow…
HER?
HER?
IT?
This is going to go over well: http://wonkette.com/467148/rick-santorum-now-coming-for-your-porn
A chart of “gay porn” Google searches as compared to searches for “God”. Guess which states lead in both.
http://www.calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=550
Mike Adams:
HAW! GET IT?
No.
DAS, what types of things are you running NMR on? Academic or industrial setting? Inquiring mind wants to know – kg
I am a computational biochemist/NMR type who is now a junior faculty member at a state school: so academic … although given students today, sometimes I wonder 😉
I started out (in grad school) with protein NMR, but I now do a lot of vaguely metabolomics/metabonomics-y small molecule stuff (as well as computational assessment of protein flexibility).
Heh. I miss PeeJ and that Righteous Bubba guy
I can see why – that PeeJ fella was an insightful sumbitch, weren’t he?
“Gay hysteria”. So Open Doors brought Turek’s other work(which the “Christian” requesting group had for some reason totally forgotten to mention OOPSIE!) to the SAC’s attention and pretty mildly protested the use of student tuition funds to pay for his little lecture, for which the SAC thanked them. In other words, everyone involved was less hysterical than Mike Adams, liar.
Cilantro is GAY?!?!!?!
Only if “gay” got redefined to “smells like swimming pool cleaner” when I wasn’t looking.
Poopie poopy poop. Penis. Foreskin. Poop.
That sounds unsanitary.
hardcore (obscene) pornography
Presumably there is another form of non-obscene pornography.
IT’S CALLED THE BIBLE.
IT’S CALLED THE BIBLE.
Take me, I’m yours!
That sounds unsanitary.
I usually use “poop” as an inverse synecdoche to represent the bumhole when closely coupled (heh) with “penis.” in that case however, I think I was making an ontological argument about Creed. Or something.
The Internet said,
March 16, 2012 at 1:58
Take me, I’m yours!
Slut.
ontological argument about Creed
All is explained.
All you cilantro-haters can GO TO HELL!
I would rate for Pupienus getting a blog going.
All you cilantro-haters can GO TO HELL!
“We mustn’t gnaw on our cilantro.”
“THE HELL YOU SAY!”
.
Oh, and fuck Mississippi. I hated it when I lived there and it hasn’t gotten any better since then.
http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2012/03/15/445583/at-ncaa-tournament-southern-miss-band-chants-wheres-your-green-card-at-hispanic-kansas-state-player/?mobile=nc
Thats some pretty heavy stuff, DAS. I have fond memories of figuring out (trying to anyhow) NMR spectra in undergraduate organic chemistry. I don’t do it for a living tho. HPLC/UV, DSC/TGA, Polarized Light Microscopy, PXRD are the things that occupy my days. I love being an analyst. Plus formulating drugs is pretty fun, turns out.
All you cilantro-haters can GO TO HELL!
I thought you’d be glad we’re leaving our share of the stuff to you.
[Funny thing is, I like coriander seed. Same plant but what a difference.]
I would call this a “Your Approval Fills Me With Shame” moment except I doubt Rush is really capable of anything as human as shame.
Oh, and fuck Mississippi.
The part of the story that amused me – for vomiting values of amusement – is that he’s Puerto Rican and therefore a natural-born citizen.
I would call this a “Your Approval Fills Me With Shame” moment except I doubt Rush is really capable of anything as human as shame.
I think you’d need a bathysphere to measure how far below MattressAnus this falls.
Fuck, I thought Glenn Beck was a scumbag…
.
Closing in on the magical 666…
Why does the Westboro “church” need to advertise at all? Doesn’t it mostly consist of Phelps whelps?
I KNEW I should have picked up that popcorn concession in Minnesota.
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/03/staffer_who_had_affair_with_mn_senate_leader_i_was.php?ref=fpb
Alas and alack! The Oregon Public Broadcasting Republican Presidential Debate (cosponsored (no autocorrect, not “cowpunchers”) by the Washington Times!?!?!!!?) has been canceled. but that’s not the sad part. The sad part is Asif Mandvi and The Daily Show have decided not to do a bit on it. The Ho and I were SO looking forward to it.
The sad part is Asif Mandvi and The Daily Show have decided not to do a bit on it.
*Cry*
Oh Sweet Jesus!
HOLY FUCK! Yes! Yes!
I coming!!!!!
How much I owe ya, J?
Ooops, excuse me, I should have knocked.
There are ways.
Shorter John Hinderaker
Seriously, here’s the verbatim:
Am I wrong?
Re Shorter John Hindscratcher
The comments are full of LULZ like the one from the guy who “met” Obama at Occidental 30+ years ago and then claims he “knew” him and Obama had only an average IQ. I’m sure Obama being black shaved at least 20% off this guy’s astute estimate of his IQ.
And this is the crowd that elected and cheered on Chimpy because he came off (to them anyway) as an average guy they’d like to have a beer (and choke on a pretzel) with rather than those noted brainiacs Al Gore and John Kerry.
hindscratcher…that’s a good one…and really? how long will it be before jeannie d’angelis writes a screed speculating that michelle FORCED obama to make those picks? while she’s mowing down on a huge piece of pie?
Keeping it classy, GOP.
Y’know, I’ve been saying for a long time that the John Birch Society was just a Re-Branding effort by the KKK, and now that they have successfully taken over the GOP, this shit should surprise no one.
I fully expect that come October that instead of a Bin Laden or Wolves video ala 2004, the Republicans will be running with “But can’t you see it, he’s a fucking Nigger”.
Can’t wait to see OBS’s link, or Major’s about the Basketball game.
haterade and projection. These people are terrified that all previously oppressed groups have nothing but revenge on our minds, and if we have anything that approximates power that we will use it to treat them as we have been treated, when in reality nothing is further from the truth, we simply want to be left the fuck alone thank you very much.
Please to be doing something to adress that crippling insecurity 27’er’s.
.
Am I wrong?
No, I think you summed it up nicely.
.
JP = SATAN!
Awesome post, Provider.
All you cilantro-haters can GO TO HELL!
What Nym said, more for you. Personally I don’t like grated soap on my food.
Some peoples don’t like IPA’s (India pale ales), I love those people.
but i know you were kidding.
.
I find its soapy brightness such a great counterpoint to so many rich foods.
These people are terrified that all previously oppressed groups have nothing but revenge on our minds, and if we have anything that approximates power that we will use it to treat them as we have been treated,
I don’t remember whether it was during the 2008 primary or the general, but one random voter made this argument explicitly. I think it was probably as the Democratic primary was going into Kentucky and West Virginia, because otherwise those people don’t end up on tv. I remember he said, “We treated the blacks so bad in this country I’m afraid of what they’ll do to us if they get the power.”
In other words, Open Doors wanted OU to close its doors to Turek because he is not as tolerant as they are. How queer is that logic?
Ahh yes, an oldie but goodie, the “Why won’t you welcome our vociferous intolerence with open arms” dodge. “You tolerate the existence of gay people, so why can’t I lynch this nigger”
These cats are nothing if not…something…
Fuck it, imma gonna watch a Hitler had access to alien technology vid on the u-tube
.
Thanks vs! 🙂
.
Secrets of World War II — What Really Happened to Rommel
yes this should do…
.
Secrets of World War II — What Really Happened to Rommel
hubbkf is obsessed with this series…i have to admit i do find learning about hitler’s deepest, darkest secrets a refreshing change from just learning more about hitler…
eh…hitler; he was a funny fella, wasn’t he?
eh…hitler; he was a funny fella, wasn’t he?
Great movie about Hitler’s last days called Downfall. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0363163/
i have to admit i do find learning about hitler’s deepest, darkest secrets a refreshing change from just learning more about hitler…
I find Rommel a fascinating character, and like history. plus the distraction from the latest outrage like “where’s your green card” chanted at a Puerto Rican basketball player from Major Kong’s link above for instance, among others.
always a treat to see you btw!
🙂
.
I remember he said, “We treated the blacks so bad in this country I’m afraid of what they’ll do to us if they get the power.”
The thing is those folks are supposed to be Bible readers and being delivered into the hands of one’s enemies is exactly the sort of justice God metes out in the OT. These are people who talk a lot about God’s righteous punishment for gays, women who’ve ever thought about sex without puking, you name it, but even while working their fat asses off to do “God’s will” to punish other groups AND while admitting they also deserve to be punished for crimes committed for CENTURIES, they fight like Hell what they could only believe is God’s will for themselves.
The same people who insisted we must go to war to protect our country from religious extremists are now telling us we must vote for a religious extremist for president.
Blogwhore: I’ve got a picture up even cuter than Hitler, and it’s not Mini__B.
Everybody knows about Mississippi. Goddamn!
Everybody knows about Mississippi.
I was stationed there from 1984-1989.
When I left the state I stopped my car at the state line and laid rubber across it.
Blogwhore: I’ve got a picture up even cuter than Hitler, and it’s not Mini__B.
Awwww. that’s a cutie.
.
women who’ve ever thought about sex without puking
girl band name!
women who’ve ever thought about sex without puking
No such thing.
I find Rommel a fascinating character, and like history
i highly rate for history! i don’t know much about rommel…i blame william clark for that…
always a treat to see you btw!
🙂
and thank you! after being VIRTUALLY IGNORED yesterday, this is quite pleasing…
i don’t know much about rommel…
He’s the guy who said “You go to war with the Nazis you have, not the Nazis you want.”
i don’t know much about rommel…i blame william clark for that…
One of the best tank generals of his day, or any day. Highly respected by both sides.
He was involved in a failed plot to assassinate Hitler, but due to his popularity was allowed to commit suicide rather than be executed as a traitor.
and thank you! after being VIRTUALLY IGNORED yesterday,
We’re on the intertubes. We couldn’t REALLY IGNORE you unless we were all in the same room.
Rommel, I read your book, you magnificent bastard.
My father was a tank commander in the early 1960s. One of his instructors at the armor school was Patton Jr.
So few people have seen Downfall and it is so terrific.
We’re on the intertubes. We couldn’t REALLY IGNORE you unless we were all in the same room.
oh, hahahahahahaha…
One of the best tank generals of his day, or any day. Highly respected by both sides.
He was involved in a failed plot to assassinate Hitler, but due to his popularity was allowed to commit suicide rather than be executed as a traitor.
this i didn’t know…was he also the dude they referred to as ‘the desert fox’?
was he also the dude they referred to as ‘the desert fox’?
That was him. He commanded the “Africa Corps” in North Africa.
and it is so terrific.
this never gets old…
I was trying to think which of the numerous Downfall captioning spoofs that would be. Thats the one I would have picked had I remembered it.
What George said.
Rommel was a skilled tactician, no doubt about that, but I think this adulation of him is another incidence of the same disease that sees us acquiescing in all the hero-worship of Confederate generals while Grant and Sherman, to name two, are the victims of constant character assassination.
Now Montgomery wasn’t my favorite guy either, but by damn he attacked Rommel even though he was heavily outnumbered and whipped him like a rented mule, but Rommel’s the one everybody admires so unconditionally.
(Yes, Auchinleck deserves a lot of the credit for not getting stampeded back to the Delta and ordering up a shitton of materiél before Monty replaced him.)
700th?
Grant and Sherman, to name two, are the victims of constant character assassination.
They are? Well, I know Grant has been on the receiving end of some character assaults but it’s those very “faults” that made him successful. The assassins, it seems to me, are just shooting themselves in the foot. But then, I haven’t read a shit load about either of those guys, just the usual amount anybody of average intelligence and above average curiosity who loves to read would have read.
Also too, The Ho is better read in history than I, especially mil history.
N-B, I moseyed over to your place and checked out the DeeeLuxxx accommodation but FYWP wouldn’t let me leave a comment, so, as usual, FYWP.
Happy First Post-Breitbart Breitbartocalypse Day!
Well, Sherman’s really the one the Confederates get their panties in a bunch about. The problem is, none of the “atrocities” he committed look particularly atrocious to anybody who’s lived through the 20th Century—it all boils down to “He didn’t respect Private Property™! The Horror!”
Grant is mainly portrayed as a drunk who only won through brute force and attrition. As far as it goes, the brute force and attrition part is true enough—he was the first general Lincoln found who could, as he said: “Face the arithmetic.”
I’d probably drink, too.
Grant and Sherman, to name two, are the victims of constant character assassination.
and thus began the great ‘my general’s weiner is bigger than your general’s weiner’ debate of aught twelve…
sign of lent in minnesota: the friday night fish fries…tonight’s is at the big stone american legion and features bullheads and pollock…
shan’t be busy at the club tonight then…this means more drinking time which = good…
Also too, The Ho is better read in history than I, especially mil history.
i am currently reading the anne perry series on wwi…i did not think i would find military history to be such a good read, but there it is…
Generals never bothered me too much. They were like gods up on Mt. Olympus who didn’t pay much attention to us mere mortals.
The people that scared me were Colonels who were trying to make General. Those were the ones that I figured would get me killed.
Great movie about Hitler’s last days called Downfall. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0363163/
Seconded with vim & vigour!
The extant 8,404,193,396,017,214,005 parodies of the “Adolf’s Totally Excellent Steiner Tantrum Adventure” scene from Der Untergang on YouTube vary from “epic” to “P-U” … but the original just takes your breath away.
In a way, only a parody adequately captures a major part of the spirit of the original – there’s sure black comedy aplenty (not to mention a smorgasbord of surrealism) in watching the crippled withered spastic junkie Little Corporal taking his final ride on the Betrayal Train, sternly ordering phantom Panzer divisions around & playing demigod-wannabe with his toy Berlin 2.0 dioramas … while everyone in the room listens politely & nakedly hopes like hell that their ticket outta Dodge arrives before the Red Army does.
It’s also plenty wild to watch how the inner circle of hardcore True Believers stick around (albeit as much in terror of the Gestapo as from loyalty or zealotry) in the face of what’s obviously impending & inexorable doom … then nearly all scatter like roaches the moment Der Führer gives them permission to GTFO.
Rommel was scary – dude knew he didn’t have nearly enough manpower to credibly make an assault on the British, & because he knew that they knew so too, he said, “gee, why the fuck not go for it now,” went fucking Full Honey Badger on their asses & very nearly steamrolled them into oblivion.
Rommel was also rather a bit of a sick fuck. Liked to take photos of dead Tommies.
Sarah Palin eulogizes Andrew Breitbart:
Oh yes, and Breitbart was swell.
I didn’t really think the lattice trusses were that cute, but whatevs.
Next, on “Who will jump into the race at the last minute and grab the Republican om-nom-nomination?” – Zombie Rommel!
Wow. GOP just lost the majority in the WI senate due to a resignation. Suck it, Imperial Walker!
Sarah Palin fought the corrupt political machine exactly one fucking time: she demanded putting a (still quite loose & comfy) leash on oil companies dealing with Alaska.
Srah Palin also WAS the corrupt political machine made flesh, in both Wasilla & Juneau.
A village with its own fuckin’ sports stadium? YOU BETCHA.
Swinging a sweetheart deal for her kid who got busted sabotaging the fucking brake-lines on schoolbuses smells a lot more like Don Corleone than Paul Revere to me … but surely his tour in Afghanistan will have been just the ticket to render him a well-adjusted boon to society.
Her banker’s hours, primadonna/uberbitch attitude & utter loathing for actually doing her job were common knowledge locally well before the day McCain threw her into the national spotlight. Lying her ass off about getting busted for ethics violations tells you just what kind of a MAVRICK Saint Sarahcuda is.
Though there is a big difference between serving as the CEO of a city, then a state, and regulating domestic energy resources, and being a liberal Community Organizer, bear with me on the comparison. The difference between my record and Barack Obama’s is that I fought the corrupt political machine my entire career
The difference is she fought the machine? Please, the difference is she WAS the machine.
Geh Oh Peh???
NEIN!
NEIN!
NEIN!
Since we’re way into a marathon thread and noone will see it, I’ll make a prediction about November. Obama will win handily, more than handily due to a rebellion on the part of women voters even in red states. But one thing to look out for are the exit polls. They’ve been uncannily accurate for a long time now—in Florida in 2000, it turns out after you work through all the Jeb Bush/Katherine Harris vote-tampering, the exit polls that initially gave the state to Gore were spot-on.
Notice the southern primaries this week, though. Nate Silver, for example, was caught flat-footed by the Santorum Surge™. A lot of people simply lied to the pollsters. In November, if a bunch of women in the south and Mormonia vote for Obama because of the War on Women, expect previously unheard-of levels of lying on exit polls. States may be called for Romney (or whoever) on the basis of exit polls where it turns out Obama actually won. The Repubs are going to lose their shit if this happens—even more than they already have. You heard it here first.
Well, Zombie Julius Streicher is already on the case.
States may be called for Romney (or whoever) on the basis of exit polls where it turns out Obama actually won. The Repubs are going to lose their shit if this happens—even more than they already have. You heard it here first.
Spot on, sir.
.
<i.Sarah Palin eulogizes Andrew Breitbart:
sarah continues to be an even worse writer than human being…in attempting to read her drivel, it became even clearer to me that literally every word does not mean what she thinks it means…
and really, if mccain’s peeps would have vetted her properly, the media wouldn’t have had to…and has she completely forgotten that obama was on the scene quite a bit before she was and got his own vetting in the press?
oh, no…st. sarah is convinced that media crucification began with her entry into the race which of course supersedes the entire history of the earth, for THAT is when history really began, folks…
Great news about WI. Lets hope those good folks can flush the turd hisself.
and the bitch made me tagfail…
Sarah Palin eulogizes Andrew Breitbart:
I am SHOCKED to find it’s all about HER HER HER.
Sometimes I think we’re too tough on Sarah.
With a lot of hard work and more than a little luck she might make a passable night manager at a Denny’s somewhere.
Not day manager, mind you. She’s not ready for the big-time just yet.
FYI: The new Decemberists Live album “We All Raise Our Voices to the Air” is available on emusic for $12 — it’s $16 at iTunes and Amazon.
For the hip it’s available as a 3-platter vinyl set too, but you can’t download that.
Gonzaga destroyed West Virginia.
Suck it, hillbillies.
In further news, I like Huskies because they’re made of dogs.
You lost me at “Barack”
Whore.
Predictions, huh?
Leafs have end-of-season rally and miss playoffs by only 8 points.
Walker loses recall and all three State Senate seats.
Rmoney goes with Rubio as running mate and picks up FL, but Obama still breaks 340 EVs for a second term.
Senator Elizabeth Warren is our consolation prize after the Senate switches to teh GOP when Dems drop four seats on election night and one more in a recount (2/3 of the Senate seats up are currently D).
Gavel returned to Pelosi with 220 seats despite two being too close to call.
Breitbart tox results come in and are totally inconclusive for COD. Prettty high in booze and positive for at least one illegal substance, but no obvious traces of anything potentially fatal.
Takeru Kobayashi continues his feud with the IFOCE and refuses to sign exclusivity. Eats 64 hot dogs with buns on July 4th at nearby venue. It’s not enough as Joey Chestnut steps up and matches the world record at 68.
Wii U launch surprisingly strong as a bunch of “hardcore” gamers use Ass Creed 3 to justify the fact that they really want to play whatever teh nu Super Smash Brothers is going to be. Sales then drop precipitously until Xmas season. No one gets to enjoy Kid Icarus very long as in a huge surprise twist of fate, the world does end on Dec. 21.
I’d be horrified at how she would treat the indigent and/or drunk customers that patronized her establishment. Serving or refusing service to those customers would require a degree of diplomacy and competence that she does not possess.
Bookmark it.
DKW,
Does Valentino Rossi return to form and win some MotoGP races on the notoriously difficult-to-handle Ducati Desmosedici, or are his glory days behind him?
I’d be horrified at how she would treat the indigent and/or drunk customers that patronized her establishment
Or all the black men she’d say racist shit about while she’s fucking them…
Rommel was a skilled tactician, no doubt about that, but I think this adulation of him is another incidence of the same disease that sees us acquiescing in all the hero-worship of Confederate generals
It helped that Rommel had a lot of access to decrypts of the Allied intentions. The Allied command decided it was better for morale to talk up his tactical genius than to admit that their ciphers were borked. They started rolling back across North Africa as soon as they had something secure in place.
We hear a lot about English code-breaking successes — all justified too — but there is less said about the German crypto crowd, who were nearly as good.
Dunno. Them two-wheeled death machines aren’t within my circle of things-I-can-preted-to-know-anything-about.
Hmm, predictions:
bbkf at one point goes 2 weeks without a tagfail, whereupon she completely borks a thread with a never-before-seen one that magically translates all the comments into Esperanto..
HTML Mencken stages a comeback.
Fenwick finally starts his blog. He uses Livejournal.
Troofy stops by just before the election with another of his brilliant predictions.
Nico Rosberg wins a GP for Mercedes. Schumacher doesn’t.
Nope. In a not very big surprise Ferrari boots Massa after three races,. In a big surprise, Rossi says I’m tired of fucking around with loser manufacturers and gets Massa’s seat. Despite his outpacing Alonso for most of the season, he manages only one podium finish and Ferrari still end up third or fourth in the constructor’s points.
Bookmark it.
Oh, Stoner wins it all.
For ‘merkin racing: Danica Patrick gets in a fistfight with Tony Stewart after she blatantly punts him into the wall. She beats the shit out of him. People briefly start paying attention to NASCAR.
It looks like the ghost of
NegroNostradamus, blew through here.
Suezboo said,
March 16, 2012 at 19:16
N-B, I moseyed over to your place and checked out the DeeeLuxxx accommodation but FYWP wouldn’t let me leave a comment, so, as usual, FYWP.
Huh. I’ve got automatic moderation the first time someone posts, but no other controls. I can’t imagine what went wrong.
Also, too, pleased to find some F1 fans hanging about.
.
Via LGM a treat for the easily enraged.
Via LGM a treat for the easily enraged.
I think I’ll just see what this is about at LGM, not giving whatitsass crack the hit.
.
And that I had an LGM tab already open made it that much easier. refresh & voila.
.
George Clooney: Badass
Go George!
I think what really helped Rommel’s rep was his martyrdom at the hands of Hitler.
Via LGM a treat for the easily enraged.
Yeah, nothing puts the lie to “Republicans are anti-women!” like a Republican portraying women as literal bitches, on-leash. Plus HOLY GOD that sucks.
Via LGM a treat for the easily enraged.
For me the crowning touch on that cartoon is the bag the Obama is holding:
FREE US GOV
Medical care
Homes
Cars
Birth Control
Trains
Trains?
There ain’t nothing bitches won’t do for trains.
Thomas the Tank Engine is a liberal plot.
I should not have clicked. It’s Friday night. I want to party. The barfing should happen much later.
You have a babby — isn’t the barfing pretty much constant?
The barfing should happen much later.
Barf, rally, repeat.
Keep that rule in mind when barfing.
For dinner tonight I’m attempting to make St. Louis style pizza. Yes, there is such a thing.
It uses a very thin no-yeast crust and a combination of provolone, swiss and white cheddar cheeses instead of mozzarella.
For ‘merkin racing: Danica Patrick gets in a fistfight with Tony Stewart after she blatantly punts him into the wall. She beats the shit out of him. People briefly start paying attention to NASCAR.
Headline: Tony Stewart gets pwned by a girl.
In other news: NASCAR still boring, NASCAR fans still booger eating rednecks who kant reed to good.
More predictions:
tsam hunts down the authors of one of these laws that enables an employer to interrogate a woman about her use of birth control and fire her if he doesn’t like the results and kills him.
Dennis feels this is an inappropriate reaction, yet typical for a liberal who hangs around on a snark blog.
For dinner tonight I’m attempting to make St. Louis style pizza. Yes, there is such a thing.
For dinner I will guilt my daughters into cooking for me.
More predictions;
tsam will still have the uncanny ability to show up on S,N! the minute everyone else leaves.
Upside: Looks good on my resume!
He’s mostly past that. Now it’s on to poop-wrestling. What’s poop-wrestling you didn’t ask? It’s when a woman with questionable upper-body strength tries to hold a desperately squirming and flopping baby in place as she changes a poopy diaper and poop goes everywhere. Good times.
Whaddya TALK? I’m here with POOP~!
I’m still here tsam…
I always have trouble getting the arch-shaped crust just so.
Made fish tacos last night, homemade tortillas are teh bestestest.
Wait, is this for realzies?
What else is on it?
And yes, on my tacos I used…..
…..
….
…….
[dunh dunh dunh]
CILANTRO!
NASCAR? Yeah, believe it or not, it’s real.
I’m having moong dal and some sort of store-bought Masala patty thing, with lime pickles and pear chutney on the side.
In realated news: NASCAR ISREAL!
That sounds all foreign and therefor socialist and liberal and whatnot tigris. I approve.
What is moong dal?!!!!!
Smartass.
UMD 3, Denver 3 end of regulation in the WCHA semifinals. I’m sitting here watching it due to the wonders of satellite TV, kicking back with a Bridgeport Hop Czar and a fine bud.
Oh yeah – GO BULLDOGS!!!!!
two-wheeled death machines
Rommel’s anti-tank guns?
Wait, is this for realzies?
No, but that would be SO cool.
I found shelled fava beans in the supermarket by my workplace- I prefer to make falafel with a fava/chickpea blend, rather than using straight chickpeas. I might have to make falafel next week.
Really, WP? Really? Do I post to fast? Srsly?
FYWP, you post TOO FUCKING SLOW
Mona has moved on from bitching about her word processor programme, now she’s bitching about Yurp and how lazy Irish people are.
Who’s next? Blackamoors?
Sounds pretty healthy.
Hubby requested wangs tonight, so wangs it is. And heaven forbid I don’t make Hot Wangs!
Also, I’m making an interesting potato gratin with tomatoes and peppers. Yummers!
Don’t forget to leave that webcam on. It’s the entrepreneurial spirit.
OBS you were of course welcome to my share of cilantro.
BBBB, i am certain that I have never had fava beans nor knew about them before “Silence…” nor did I know that they had shells.
I tell ya the shit you learn hanging out at liberal snark blogs…
.
Yeah, exactly how many other wangs did you recruit!?!
WANG!
“But can’t you see it, he’s a fucking Nigger”.
Relevant clip.
tsam is doubting the veracity of my carefully researched prediction!
This affront shall not stand! Harumph!
Don’t forget to leave that webcam on. It’s the entrepreneurial spirit.
Ok, though I have to warn you, watching hubby eat chicken wings is NOT THAT HOT.
Also, I demand a hot Sub/Bicycle vid!
Halfway thru it seems to go all Janus Node
“10% rhinoceros horn
7% pearls
7% bear gall
5% cow bezoar
3% musk
28% rhizoma coptidis
30% fined borax
10% toad cake”
In Ireland, people look … in the mansion on hill and go, one day, I’m going to get that bastard.”
Well, considering that that bastard’s forebears were exporting food during the famine, while your family was emigrating or dying, it’s no mystery that the spalpeens get pissed at the aristocrats.
Relevant clip.
Yep!
.
BBBB, i am certain that I have never had fava beans nor knew about them before “Silence…” nor did I know that they had shells.
I pity the fool, who’s never had ful!
Holy crap – going to double OT. The Dogs have over 60 shots and the refs are letting them play now. Really good game.
Also, I’m making an interesting potato gratin
Gravity’s Rainbow:
Those words look like they’re in some sort of meaningful order, but I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.
Memo to self: Write a Cordwainer Smith / Gravity’s Rainbow mash-up some day.
I know OBS, finding hockey fans in Oregon is tough. UMD just lost in the second overtime to Denver U in the longest game in WCHA final five history. UMD is still assured a place in the NCAA tournament next weekend but this may change their seeding. They won it all for the first time in school history last year.
Oh yeah, UMD is the University of Minnesota-Duluth from my old stomping grounds. I have been a fan of them for many years.
Looking forward to Aussie F1. Have paid precisely zero attention since the end of last season.
Talented as Vettel is (and yes, Pup, I know he’s dreeeeeamy), I’d like to see someone else challenge for wins.
My predix:
Button will be quick but not quite fast enough. Hamilton will finally lose it and be found in a bell tower in Monaco with a high powered rifle, naked, masturbating furiously to a picture of Michelle Yeoh.
Alonzo will make the Ferrari go faster than it actually should and still finish 6-10th. Massa will whine, cry and quit, while finishing out the season in midfield every time.
Rosberg will continue to place several places ahead of Schumacher, even though the chassis is further developed to suit Schumi’s tastes.
Webber will be fired after the fourth race, where for the fourth time in a row he finished seven places behind Vettel and finally stalks him into a bathroom and chokes him half to death before being pulled away.
The rest of the field will, again, make up the numbers.
What else is on it?
The St. Louis style pizza came out pretty good. The crust is really thin so I kept the toppings simple.
Both had tomato sauce and cheese. One had red and yellow bell peppers and the other had peperoni. Plus a sprinkling of fresh basil/thyme/oregano on each.
The crust is very crispy. The sauce is a little on the sweet side, but I didn’t want to mess with the recipe the first time I made it.
All in all I was quite pleased with it.
http://www.food.com/recipe/imos-pizza-recipe-st-louis-style-pizza-380004
Yeah, generally we Oregroanians are not much for the hockey. Actually a guy I knew used to drive down to Eugene every week to play in a league down there, so fans do exist. I had no idea anything hockey-related was going on right now. There is also some other big college sporting thing I don’t understand called “March Madness” going on now too.
Tonight I’m going to the final home Gymnastics meet of the season FWIW.
tsam is doubting the veracity of my carefully researched prediction!
I would actually attend a NASCAR event if I were guaranteed to see this happen. Or if I were allowed to beat up one of those buttholes.
I’m kinda hoping that Kimi and Grosjean do well in the Lotuses (Loti?) too. I’d be very happy if they are able to outperform the Ferraris, Alonso especially.
Basketball is OK but I’ll take the frozen four over the final four most years. I’ve never been to a college gymnastics meet – I’m so old I would feel like Aqualung.
I’d attend a NASCAR event if they let me drive. Otherwise I want no part of it.
I don’t know much about F1 except that I always thought the cars were the fucking coolest. I liked watching them weaving back and forth on regular city streets.
I’d attend a NASCAR event if they let me drive.
If you drive does the car lift off, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang style?
How does Swiss cheese taste with tomato sauce?
We used to make fake pizza when I was a kid: english muffins, Ragu, swiss sliced thin, five minutes at 400F. When I was 8 I though they were the best thing in the world.
Sounds pretty healthy.
Yeah, it does.
Fucking hell. These people didn’t get the goddamn mansion because they worked hard. Fully half of them inherited the mansion and all the wealth that goes with it from their parents without having to work a day in their life. The other half may or may not have gotten there honestly, but none of them did it alone and none of them did it without a fuckton of help from the omnipresent federal government.
Meanwhile, wage stagnation and the destruction of unions and public services guarantee that more and more people will never be able to sustain a decent middle class existence (never mind the goddamn mansion) no matter how hard they work at their jobs. But sure, keep fantasizing that one day you’ll be just like them. And when you’re pissing and moaning and crying and bitching about the government employees and union members whose remuneration hasn’t been completely raped like yours was, keep trying to tell yourself that’s anything other than “envy.”
Christ. Yeah, I wouldn’t mind some “politics of envy” over here every now and then. Concentrated wealth is inherently threatening to life in a democracy, and keeping it in check is as vital as keeping the military under civilian control, or the church out of the state’s business.
I suspect F1 will be much more competitive this year. red Bull is still the odds-on favorite but don’t even think it will be so lopsided. RB didn’t look all that special in FP1 which got everyone’s tongues wagging and speculating whether they were sandbagging but then Christian Horner said they had not yet run a full quali simulation, they’ve been running heavy all through. OTOH, Seb said he wasn’t happy with the setup – very not happy in the first session, just not satisfied in the second.
Mercedes (as though the English team running the English Ilmor motor has any connection with Mercedes other than the money) has shown very good performance. Same with te Loti and the McLarens. Force India could conceivably turn up as high as the third or fourth rows.
ITS SO EXCITING
How does Swiss cheese taste with tomato sauce?
It works surprisingly well. The ratio is 1/2 white cheddar + 1/4 Swiss + 1/4 provolone so the Swiss doesn’t really stand out.
I wanted to try this recipe because I’ve made just about every other style of pizza and I was intrigued to learn that St. Louis has its own pizza tradition.
I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite, but it’s quite good.
I can’t wait for the red cars to finish behind Lotus and Force India. BWAHAHAHAHA
I guess I don’t know why I should think the Swiss odd. I mean…tomato soup with croutons and melted gruyere or Swiss? Yes, please.
And when you’re pissing and moaning and crying and bitching about the government employees and union members whose remuneration hasn’t been completely raped like yours was, keep trying to tell yourself that’s anything other than “envy.”
This cannot be stressed enough!
St. Louis has its own pizza tradition.
The weirdest thing, to me, about St. Louis pizza is the fact that the round pie is cut into squares, not wedges. Far out…
Anybody hear from Spearhafoc lately? He should fly to NYC for tomorrow’s all-redhead burlesque show.
I just finally noticed that Thesaurus is in teh post title. So I am fain to fadge thee all well.
“[C]ollapse of marriage was “aggravating” inequality in America.”
Aggravating inequality? What does that even mean?
And could Santorum be involved?
Clearly inequality should not be aggravated. It’s fine as is. Leave it be.
Sad news in LEAFS SUCK. I’m out of Bulleit. Fortunately, there’s a bottle of Woodford. I suppose I’ll switch to Bushmills at midnite.
Eight hundred and seventeenth!
I guess all y’all are waiting for a nu thread. Either that or you have some other place to be on a Friday night.
I’m in bed being a loser. I should read or something.
We were watching North by Northwest on Netflix.
I’d never seen the whole movie, just the iconic cropduster scene.
In Ireland, people look … in the mansion on hill and go, one day, I’m going to get that bastard.”
Ireland? Really? Ireland? The land whose people were so in thrall to the Church that they willingly allowed themselves to be subjected to English nobility as serfs to the point of starvation? The land where 2.5 million of them left to come to the US instead of staying in their own land? The land where they sent their children to the Church to be raped, abused and tormented? Kee-rist! I have Irish blood in me myself, but for fucks sake, the history of the Irish has never been that of a people who rose up and took the mansion away from the nobility! The Irish have been a fore-lock-tugging people for generations.
I guess all y’all are waiting for a nu thread. Either that or you have some other place to be on a Friday night.
I’m working a double so I can go out drinking tomorrow.
I have Irish blood in me myself, but for fucks sake, the history of the Irish has never been that of a people who rose up and took the mansion away from the nobility! The Irish have been a fore-lock-tugging people for generations.
Being outgunned will do that to a people. There was an undercurrent of guerrilla activity for quite some time, though.
I just introduced Mrs__B to the glory that is Slap Shot.
history of the Irish has never been that of a people who rose up and took the mansion away from the nobility!
Wait, so the Republic of Ireland doesn’t actually exist then??
JR, you gigging on the Solemn Feast of St. Patrick?
If any of you have pull with Freewayblogger, please put in a good word for me. I could really use the $1000 they’re giving away in the eco-contest.
.
… and I don’t mean, “I need an iPad.” I mean “My landlord would like some money so he doesn’t have to evict me.”
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If any of you have pull with Freewayblogger, please put in a good word for me. I could really use the $1000 they’re giving away in the eco-contest.
I’ve never even heard of them until now! Could you work the scooter into the contest?
You are a Baal-zebub – that is, a man of flies.
Random Martin Luther Insult generator
http://ergofabulous.org/luther/
You pant after the garlic and melons of Egypt and have already long suffered from perverted tastes.
You are the prostitute of heretics!
You rush forward as an ass under the pelt of a lion.
Needs more hamsters and elderberries.
Objection BBBB! The recipe of Riddled special ale is supposed to be secret!
Random Martin Luther Insult generator
Strangely familiar from somewhere.
Not gonna give any spoilers, but yeah, if qualifying is an indication, it should be an interesting season in F1…
Strangely familiar from somewhere.
Well, Substance McGravitas did nail his 95 theses to Scott Stapp’s forehead.
Oh noes ! Sports season has started in the US. Just as I was enjoying the snark. Now you all start talking in incomprehensible shorthand about how the Dawgs really have the drop on the Dweeps who have to kill the Frawlls in order to ace the Grylls.Aaargh. Or about cars going round and round.You have no idea how little interest I have in sports.
SA beat NZ at cricket. One of the long games.Take that.
Oh noes ! Sports season has started in the US.
Dearest Suezboo, sports season never ends here in the States. American Football season overlaps with basketball and hockey season, which overlaps with baseball season.
Now you all start talking in incomprehensible shorthand about how the Dawgs really have the drop on the Dweeps who have to kill the Frawlls in order to ace the Grylls.Aaargh.
NOT THE DWEEPS!!! I bet a lot of money on them.
SA beat NZ at cricket. One of the long games.Take that.
Nyaa nyaa CAN’T HEAR YOU CAN’T HEAR YOU
Oh noes ! Sports season has started in the US
HA! Sports season can’t start in the US because it never ends!
s’how we cut them here in chicago too. not stuffed, tho, they’re cut in triangles. Not everyone approves
s’how we cut them here in chicago too
I dare say I make a pretty damn good Chicago-style pizza as well.
It’s getting to be too warm for deep-dish pizza, though. It’s so filling it’s more of a winter dish.
“Or about cars going round and round.”
In NASCAR’s defense, it is one of the rare institutions that has been consistantly moving leftward for decades now.
“Or about cars going round and round.”
In NASCAR’s defense, it is one of the rare institutions that has been consistantly moving leftward for decades now.
Also, I stole the link from Slaktivist so your SMG’s beef should be with Fred.
But I repeat myself
847
Leke Sadly days of old.
s’how we cut them here in chicago too. not stuffed, tho, they’re cut in triangles. Not everyone approves
I sure do. My local pizza place has “pie cut” programmed into my customer profile.
The existence of LIttle Caesar’s and Pizza Hut in cities like Chicago and New York is proof that some people will eat wet cotton if they see enough ads for it on TV.
(/rant)
I’m actually not a sports person much at all. I promise not to go on and on about racing. I blame the shopworn thread and the first race of the season.
I will note for S.cerexxxx that there is no way he’s too old for the gymnastics meets — the crowd is probably 75% middle aged folk and senior citizens, 20% young families with kids and 5% OSU students.
See also Bud Light, et. al.
In NASCAR’s defense, it is one of the rare institutions that has been consistantly moving leftward for decades now.
I actually thought NASCAR was cool way back when they drove real cars that with very minor modifications could have been driven on the street.
Back when they weren’t that many years past their bootlegger origins and hadn’t gone for the wholesome clean-cut image.
Nomeansno have a secret identity as The Hanson Brothers.
The JanusNode troll module is kinda dated right now. Gotta get some new content in there.
On a similar note, I know there are some sufferers from
MicrosoftStockholm Syndrome here, so for your Apple-bashing needs, there is now the Pundit-Matic™ 3000. But I can’t help feeling it needs more material.What was the point of that Bono anecdote? “Liberals aren’t real Americans, they’re IRISH!” Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you too, Mona.
An hour ago it was fucking snowing. On St. Patrick’s Day. Climate change? What climate change?
Is anyone else’s alicublog broken?
It’s 80 degrees in Chicago. If this is climate change, I’ll take it.
If you are Canadian, Blogger has started its stupid fucking redirects. Try this link:
http://alicublog.blogspot.com/ncr
And, I should add, third-party commenting services don’t take that into account. Nor should they. I may abandon the old homestead for WordPress or something.
Our lesson for today comes from George and Ira Gershwin:
“They all laughed at Christopher Columbus
When he said the world was round
They all laughed when Edison recorded sound
They all laughed at Wilbur and his brother
When they said that man could fly
They told Marconi wireless was a phony…”
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers sang it in the film “Shall We Dance?” (1937) Seventy-five years on, the president revived it to tap-dance around his rising gas prices and falling approval numbers. Delivering his big speech on energy at Prince George’s Community College, he insisted the American economy will be going gangbusters again just as soon as we start running it on algae and windmills. He noted that, as with Wilbur and his brother, there were those inclined to titter:
“Let me tell you something. If some of these folks were around when Columbus set sail – [Laughter] – they must have been founding members of the Flat Earth Society [Laughter]. They would not have believed that the world was round [Applause]. We’ve heard these folks in the past. They probably would have agreed with one of the pioneers of the radio who said, ‘Television won’t last. It’s a flash in the pan’ [Laughter]. One of Henry Ford’s advisers was quoted as saying, ‘The horse is here to stay but the automobile is only a fad’ [Laughter].”
The crowd loved it. But President Algy Solyndra wasn’t done:
“There always have been folks who are the naysayers and don’t believe in the future, and don’t believe in trying to do things differently. One of my predecessors, Rutherford B. Hayes, reportedly said about the telephone, ‘It’s a great invention, but who would ever want to use one?’ [Laughter]. That’s why he’s not on Mount Rushmore – [laughter and applause] – because he’s looking backwards. He’s not looking forwards [Applause]. He’s explaining why we can’t do something, instead of why we can do something.”
It fell to Nan Card of the Rutherford B. Hayes Presidential Center in Ohio to inform the website Talking Points Memo that the quotation was apocryphal. Hayes had the first telephone in the White House, and the first typewriter, and Edison visited him to demonstrate the phonograph.
But obviously Rutherford B. Hayes isn’t as “forward-looking” as a 21st century president who believes in Jimmy Carter malaise, 1970s Eurostatist industrial policy, 1940s British health care reforms, 1930s New Deal-size entitlements premised on mid-20th century birth rates and life expectancy, and all paid for by a budget with more zeroes than anybody’s seen since the Weimar Republic. If that’s not a shoo-in for Mount Rushmore, I don’t know what is.
I was interested in the rest of Barack Obama’s yukfest of history’s biggest idiots. Considering that he is (in the words of historian Michael Beschloss) “the smartest guy ever to become president,” the entire passage sounded as if it was plucked straight from one of those “Top Twenty Useful Quotes for Forward-Looking Inspirational Speakers” websites. And whaddayaknow? Rutherford B. Hayes, the TV flash in the pan, the horse is here to stay – they’re all at the Wikiquote page on “Incorrect Predictions.” Fancy that! You can also find his selected examples at the web page “Some Really Really Bad Predictions About the Future” and a bazillion others.
Given that the ol’ Hayes telephone sidesplitter turned out to be a bust, I wondered about the others. The line about television being a “flash in the pan” is generally attributed to “Mary Somerville, pioneer of radio educational broadcasts, 1948.” She was a New Zealand-born lass who while at Oxford wrote to the newly founded BBC with some ideas on using radio in schools. By the Seventies, the educational programming she had invented and developed was used in 90 percent of UK schools, and across the British Commonwealth from the Caribbean to Africa to the Pacific. She apparently used the flash-in-the-pan line in a private conversation recounted some years after her death by her fellow BBC executive, Grace Wyndham Goldie, a lady I knew very slightly. It was in the context of why she was pessimistic about early attempts at educational television. Mary Somerville would not have been surprised by “American Idol” or “Desperate Housewives,” but she thought TV’s possibilities for scholarly study were limited. If you remember Leonard Bernstein giving live illustrated music lectures on Beethoven on CBS in the Fifties, and you’ve lived long enough to see “quality public television” on PBS dwindle down to dreary boomer nostalgia, lousy Brit sitcoms, Laurence Welk reruns and therapeutic infomercials, you might be inclined to agree that TV as an educational tool certainly proved “a flash in the pan.” And that’s before your grandkid gets home from school and complains he’s had to sit through Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth” again.
What was Obama’s other thigh-slapper? Oh, yes. “The horse is here to stay but the automobile is only a fad.” The line is generally attributed to “the president of the Michigan Savings Bank” in 1903. That would be George Peck, born in 1834 on a hardscrabble farm in Connecticut. Due to a boyhood accident, he was unable to use one arm and so was no good for agricultural labor. So at the age of 16 he started as the lowest-paid clerk in a Utica dry goods store. From this unpromising start, Peck built one of the largest dry-goods businesses in Michigan. Was he, as the president said, one of those men “who don’t believe in the future”? Not at all. He was president of the Edison Illuminating Co., named for the guy who invented that light bulb the United States Government has banned. Henry Ford was Peck’s chief engineer. Peck set his son and Ford up in a shop on Park Place in Detroit to work on their prototype horseless carriages. After Ford departed, the first porcelain spark plug was baked in Peck’s shop.
Christopher Columbus? Once upon a time, your average well-informed high-schooler, never mind the smartest president in history, understood that Columbus was laughed at not because everyone believed the world was round: Educated Europeans of his day accepted that the Earth was spherical and had done so since Aristotle’s time. They laughed because they thought he was taking the long way round to the East Indies. Which he was.
So let’s see. The president sneers at the ignorance of 15th century Spaniards when, in fact, he is the one entirely ignorant of them. A man who has enjoyed a million dollars of elite education yet has never created a dime of wealth in his life sneers at a crippled farm boy with an eighth-grade schooling who establishes a successful business and introduces electrical distribution across Michigan all the way up to Sault Ste Marie. A man sneers at one of the pioneering women in broadcasting, a lady who brought the voices of T.S. Eliot, G.K. Chesterton and others into the farthest-flung classrooms and would surely have rejected Obama’s own dismal speech as being too obviously reliant on “Half-A-Dozen Surefire Cheap Cracks For Lazy Public Speakers.” A man whose own budget officials predict the collapse of the entire U.S. economy by 2027 sneers at a solvent predecessor for being insufficiently “forward-looking.”
A great nation needs successful self-made businessmen like George Peck, and purveyors of scholarly excellence like Mary Somerville. It’s not clear why it needs a smug over-credentialed President Solyndra to recycle “Crowd-Pleasing For Dummies” as a keynote address.
They all laughed at Christopher Columbus, they all laughed at Edison… How does that song continue? “They laughed at me…”
At Prince George’s Community College they didn’t. But history will, and they will laugh at us for ever taking him seriously.
America needs cut & pasters.
Oh, great, CopyPasta Troll is back. Who the fuck does this guy think he’s impressing?
America needs pasties.
Oh, great, CopyPasta Troll is back. Who the fuck does this guy think he’s impressing?
He annoyed you, so his work is done.
.
BBBB Ful looks delicious
The president sneers at the ignorance of 15th century Spaniards
That will all change when President Santorum takes us back to 15th Century Spain.
Much thanks, Subs!
I’m gonna go run a st. party’s day 5k in a minute, so some copypasta is just the carb rich snack I needed. Thanks, troll!
hmm autocorrect gave me party’s instead of patty’s but I think it’s appropriate. good call autocorrect.
Oh, here’s a Hanson Brothers song for OBS.
I had no idea Obama sneered so much. He usually looks pretty smiley to me.
You know who smirked a lot, though? No, not Hitler.
Oh snap…as the kids say.
You know who smirked a lot, though? No, not Hitler.
Stalin. The big mustache was to hide it.
If life were a sitcom, some well-meaning parents would hire these guys for their daughter’s Bat Mitzvah (sp?) thinking they were Hanson, and kookiness…Oh yes, it would ENSUE. And then at the end, the Bubbuleh would rap.
It would be uncivil and liberal-meanie of me to say “close.”
It would be uncivil and liberal-meanie of me to say “close.”
Close? Tee shirt and jeans. What are YOU wearing?
A purple blouse and jeans. HOT!
But if I’m wearing jeans and you’re wearing jeans…the comments are coming from inside my pants!
I assumed we were wearing different clothes. That being said, you do look fetching in our purple blouse.
I,
sirma’am, am always fetching. Usually Mini__B’s blocks.What? He still living at home? Mooching off you and the missus?
the comments are coming from inside my pants!
You taught yours to speak? And/or type?
Hunt and peck.
I’ve never even heard of them until now! Could you work the scooter into the contest?
Well, I wanted to, but Freewayblogger’s signs are best when short and sweet. Also, seeing such a sign on the freeway, most people would probably think a scooter would be the scariest, most absurd thought, ever — ’cause even though there are plenty of highway-capable scooters, they aren’t what most people envision when they think “scooter.”
.
I suspect it’s not pissing down the rain where the rest of you are.
.
i am currently reading the anne perry series on wwi…i did not think i would find military history to be such a good read, but there it is…
Well, she would know from death, wouldn’t she, being a real-life murderess n’ at. She’s the rich girl from _Heavenly Creatures_, helping to beat the poor girl’s mother to death with a chunk of brick. When her identity was revealed a few years back, she whined that she had suffered enough for her crmes and people should leave her alooooooooone.
She gave the distinct impression that she had shed any sense of guilt years ago. I won’t so much as check a book of her’s out of the library.
What? Who are you people… oh right… hey, here’s a new post that’s totally worth the 5 day delay and totally isn’t just something for everyone while I work on a longer post that’s worth the wait.
And on that note, I totally apologize for the 5 day delay. I kinda had the week from Hell. I’ll be trying to make that up this next week.
[…] if you didn’t turn your spell-check off for being a minion of liberal Satan, you might have caught that. Romney’s speech was a model of what political discourse should be. […]
[…] Mona Charen, Bob’s gift to the Dunning-Kruger effect. If she’s not losing fights against her spellcheck software or demanding specific reactions to national tragedies, she’s declaring war on the concept of […]