Feb
2

Accountability, You Say? How Did I Get Here? Who Are These People?




Posted at 2:13 by Cerberus

It’s easy to lose 8 years when you are a time traveler from the late 1800s.

Cindy Simpson, American Thought Processes Occurred Once:
Citzenship: Easy Come, Easy Go?

IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION is a truism of all wingnut writing. No matter what a wingnut tries to write about themselves or their idea of their enemies, what comes out ends up being a perverted reflection of their own crimes.

So it sadly has proven to be with the old claim to be the Party of Personal Responsibility. Whether it be denying one’s hand in the Financial Crisis, denying the creation of the modern Security State, or just denying that the Bush years ever happened like this post, wingnuts have proven again and again that what they hate more than anything else is credit for their own successes and actions.

But let’s let slippery eel Cindy Simpson demonstrate this:

Rather than engage in the politically incorrect practice of “profiling,” our government, under the guise of national security, has chosen to subject everyone who holds an airline ticket, from small children to grannies, to uncomfortable and unreasonable searches by the TSA.

But-but-but when we created the Security Theatre clusterfuck, it was only supposed to inconvenience dirty brown people and hippies, why is it being applied to everyone?

Actually having to cope with the consequences of my panicked desperate plea for non-stop security theater is like Hitler Times 50!

Likewise, rather than restrict dual citizenship or reform the controversial practice of granting U.S. citizenship to every baby born on our soil, our government leaders have chosen instead to pass legislation that endangers the rights of citizenship of all of us.

Yes, the controversial practice of actually understanding what the word citizenship means and how it is granted truly is a failure to understand what citizenship means.

Hey, wingnuts, just say “we don’t think niggers and spics should count”. It’s more honest and doesn’t constantly make you look like a complete moron when you try and talk about citizenship.

However, if these shared values of citizenship include the sacred constitutional right to due process, that fidelity appears to have been broken by Obama himself, when, on December 31, he signed into law the NDAA with its provision allowing the indefinite detention of U.S. citizens without a warrant or hearing.
Although Obama signed the “Martial Law Bill” with “serious reservations” and assurances that he does not intend to detain American citizens suspected of terrorism without trial, Professor Jonathan Turley explained: Obama did “not deny that he has such authority.”
On the heels of that alarming legislation is another dangerous bill introduced in the House and concurrently in the Senate that would essentially strip the citizenship from anyone who engages in or supports “hostilities” against the U.S.: the “Enemy Expatriation Act.”

Yes, how DARE Obama McHitler Mussolinipants…continue to renew the broad powers that conservatives universally supported and still support and that Bush put into play.

I mean, yes, these are bad policies and should be ended, but pretending like Sauron Obama was sitting upon his dread tower and deciding to violate civil liberties is pretty much…par for the course for you fucking lunatics in denying the Bush years ever happened.

Constitutional experts Herb Titus and William Olson thoroughly examined the bill under existing law and Supreme Court precedent, and both warn that expatriation is a serious criminal punishment that essentially sends “American citizens into exile.”
Rep. Charles Dent argues that his proposed legislation is needed to amend current expatriation law to encompass the “modern threat of global terrorism.” As Ron DeSantis noted, our enemies could “have an incentive to recruit individuals who can claim American citizenship but who have no actual loyalty to the country” since U.S. citizenship and the right of due process could “create a zone of protection around jihadists (as well as other malcontents) who take up arms against the United States.”
The problem, though, is that any measure that attempts to limit the benefits of citizenship to such enemies will likely undermine the protections guaranteed to all citizens. As Turley pointed out, the “disgraceful argument” that “we are not really losing any rights because most citizens are unlikely to be subject to these powers” is negated by the fact that “something is not a right if it is discretionary with your government to allow or to take away.”

I remember making these arguments about 10 years ago and was called, what was it again, oh yeah, a treasonous fifth column America-hater who should be thrown in Guantanamo.

See, this is the worst part of wingnuts. They are authoritarian power worshippers who still want all the cool street cred and righteous indignity of being an anti-authoritarian rabble-rouser.

So they cheer police action against hippies, endless war, and infinite illegal detention and torture and then throw on some Dockers and try and act like having their Klan rally looked at askance by pedestrians is equivalent to The Selma to Montgomery March or that by selectively criticizing indefinite detention, but only if the president is black and only if we replace it with a system that is more guaranteed to only affect brown people, they are constitutional defenders.

Sorry, Pedro, you’re kinda 8 years too late to this shit. If you didn’t like it being entrenched in our system, maybe you shouldn’t have spent 8 years entrenching it in the system and chomping at the bit to accuse any liberal who objected of treason.

In short, if you don’t like the smell of what’s being shoved in your face, maybe you shouldn’t have shit on the Constitution rug.

Yaser Hamdi and Anwar al-Awlaki are real-life, recent examples of individuals this legislation is meant to target. Both men were “presumed” citizens, for the sole reason of their birth in the U.S., even though to non-citizen parents temporarily resident here. The court in Hamdi v. Rumsfeld ruled that U.S. citizens, even if they are considered “enemy combatants,” are entitled to habeas corpus. However, a drone aimed at Awlaki in Yemen eliminated forever his chance at a day in court, because, as the attorneys who authored the “secret memo” noted, Awlaki’s U.S. citizenship protected him, unless he couldn’t be seized alive.
At first glance, for terrorists like Hamdi and Awlaki, the premise of the NDAA provisions or the expatriation act may not seem like a bad idea. But the risk to the rest of us lies in the application and definition of the legislation’s nebulous terms: “belligerent acts,” “harboring,” and “hostilities.”

Ah, yes, Rumsfeld, that well known Obama Secretary of Defense. Yes, I can see how Obama is personally responsible for this sad violation of citizenship rights.

Instead of focusing on how to strip citizenship or its rights in these (fortunately) rare occasions, perhaps greater consideration should be given to the awarding of citizenship in the first place.

Or you know we could use the very well documented national and international laws against terrorism to just arrest and try them as citizenships instead of pretending that being a terrorist (but only if you are brown and muslimy) means you can bend iron bars and escape from the same maximum security prisons we use to house serial killers, cannibals, and whistle-blowers who reveal our illegal torture camps?

We could even give one a really archaic sounding name so you can still pretend that terrorists are real world Supervillains.

The Supreme Court defined citizenship in 1875 in the famous women’s suffrage case of Minor v. Happersett as membership in a political community, to which the citizen owes allegiance, and from which the citizen is owed protection. The Court further asserted that new citizens may be born or created by naturalization, and “that all children born in a country of parents who were its citizens became themselves, upon their birth, citizens also. These were natives, or natural-born citizens, as distinguished from aliens or foreigners.”
The automatic granting of citizenship at birth to non-citizen parents under the controversial “birthright” citizenship practice, no matter their status (legal or illegal, temporary or permanent), is a contentious issue that has been hotly debated for a century, heating up to a “roiling boil” as the associated economic costs of unchecked immigration have become too enormous to ignore.
The basis of birthright citizenship is found in the 1898 decision of Wong Kim Ark. The divided court, in a 55-page opinion, determined that Ark, born in the U.S. to non-U.S. citizen Chinese parents permanently and legally domiciled in the U.S., was a citizen.

Hey, you know an easier place to find the origin of “birthright citizenship”?

How about Article 2 of that stupid hippie document called the Constitution where it talks about how the president needs to be a “natural born citizen” seeing that as the highest and most uncontroversial form of citizenship to the United States? Hell, even the Confederate Constitution thought that “natural born citizens” were pretty important and they were all about making sure “certain people” couldn’t vote.

But please, do continue.

In its actual historical context, however, Ark’s situation was governed by a treaty in effect between the U.S. and China — a treaty that originally recognized the transfer of allegiance of Chinese making their permanent homes in America, but, as later amended, also prevented Ark’s parents from ever naturalizing as U.S. citizens. In fact, as Attorney Leo Donofrio explains, unlike other native-born children of alien parents of other nationalities, Ark was not born with the dual allegiance that many experts contend the amendment’s “subject to the jurisdiction” phrase was meant to prevent.
The controversial ruling has since become precedent, broadened in its popular application to guarantee the right of citizenship to every baby born here, not just to the permanently domiciled Chinese under the treaty, but even to illegal aliens and temporary visitors from every country — parents who have not transferred their allegiance to America.

Yeah, it’s almost like being born in a country means you are a citizen of that country unless you actively try and naturalize to be a citizen of another country.

Cause countries are trying to prevent the creation of “Stateless entities” and the legal problems that creates.

Law professor Lino Graglia, in his scholarly paper opposing birthright citizenship, noted that Circuit Appeals Judge Richard Posner, “the nation’s leading public intellectual,” also argued against the practice: “… one rule that Congress should rethink … is awarding citizenship to everyone born in the United States[.] … Congress would not be flouting the Constitution if it … put an end to the nonsense.” Graglia concluded that the current practice is an “absurdity.”

Lino Graglia was too insane and conservative for Ronald Reagan to nominate to the Fifth Circuit (the one for Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas). This would be the same Ronald Reagan who tried to nominate Robert Bork to the Supreme Court. I’ll let that just sink in for a moment.

And indeed, if citizenship is purely based on geographical location at the moment of birth, well-timed travel planning is crucial. For the foreign relatives desiring admission to the U.S., an “anchor baby” birth in the right spot and time is cause for celebration. Mark Cromer, in his essay for CAPS titled “American Jackpot: The Remaking of America by Birthright Citizenship,” used the subheading “Run, Squat and Drop.” Perhaps an insensitive description, but such is the reality.
In fact, U.S. citizenship has become such a prized possession that an entire industry, “birth tourism,” has blossomed to meet the demand from mothers from around the world who want to ensure that their babies arrive with the status of American citizenship. These babies are also granted citizenship by their parents’ home country, making them dual citizens at birth.

Oh fuck me, the type of nutcases who freak out over the thought of “anchor babies” have discovered the concept of dual citizenship.

No good can come of this.

Foreign-born applicants for U.S. citizenship must formally reject other citizenships in their Oath of Naturalization. However, children born here as dual citizens are never formally required to make such a renouncement. The State Department rarely enforces its policies discouraging dual citizenship, and has adopted, as described by Frances Stead Sellers, a sort of “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

Yeah, dual citizenship sounds all cool in theory, like some jetsetter superspy bouncing between countries, but in practice, it’s a big fancy safety net usually used for things like not having to deal with a lot of hassle for visits to family, being able to leave to a country with functional health care if you get sick, or going to a country with jobs or free education if say one country is going through the shit-hole.

Seeing as how conservatives hate anyone other than the rich and powerful to have any form of safety net, I can see why the very concept incenses them to their very souls.

The very idea of double allegiance is considered “civic bigamy” by scholars such as Dr. John Fonte, who notes the “principle that an American citizen should be loyal to the United States and to no other country or political power is a moral and constitutional issue of the highest order[.]”
Stanley Renshon, author of The 50% American, has estimated that over 40 million Americans are dual citizens. The ongoing practice of birthright citizenship continues to expand that figure.
The unavoidable fact is that both Hamdi and Awlaki were dual citizens by virtue of the birthright citizenship practice. Stripping them of their U.S. citizenship would not render them stateless. Neither had parents who held allegiance to America. Neither had parents who were permanently domiciled here. Neither had parents who intended to naturalize as U.S. citizens.
Of course, we cannot imply that dual citizenship equates with the terrorism that both men were guilty of, but in all practicality, imagine the nightmare if America became involved in a worldwide conflict while having a significant percentage of citizens claiming not just heritage, but actual citizenship in the very countries with which we might be at war.
As Ms. Sellers wrote of dual citizenship, “[w]ar is all about taking sides. Unless of course, you can’t, because you belong on both sides.”

You might be forgiven for thinking this rant began as a condemnation of Obama for allowing the continuation of the stripping of US citizenship for the purpose of bullshit “terrorists aren’t really citizens” shit.

But sadly, when a wingnut thinks about filthy brown people being in the country, it’s only a matter of seconds before any pretense towards empathy is ripped away and it’s all “no brown person should be considered a citizen ever” all the time.

And I wish that was just a snarky joke.

Our nation’s sovereignty relies on citizens who belong on its side, with sole allegiance to the political community of the United States of America, which, in turn, provides its citizens the guaranteed protection of the rule of law.
We must examine how the terms “presumed” and “dual” dilute the value of U.S. citizenship, rather than formulate laws that weaken its protections. We cannot continue to sweep the need for immigration reform under the rug, even when the race card is thrown. And any program of reform cannot ignore the inviting, gaping “hole in the fence” that birthright citizenship policies create.
Our government leaders need to focus on building fences, both physically and figuratively, that protect our nation and our rights as citizens, rather than passing ambiguous legislation that instead tears up the foundations of our Constitution.

Oh sure, every other idea we’ve had on this subject has been an embarrassing failure that even the 27% has begun to hate for its massive inconvenience, but all we need is even more oppressive bullshit. Then, no damn dirty foreigners or natives or anyone with skin darker than Edward from Twilight will want to live here.

Nor will we. But that’ll be okay, because that’ll be the fault of the liberal Lincoln Statue we elected to be president the following year.

511 Comments »

  1. lawfam said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:17

    Firstestest!!!111eleventy

    Now to read the post…

  2. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:19

    Yes, how DARE Obama McHitler Mussolinipants…continue to renew the broad powers that conservatives universally supported and still support and that Bush put into play.

    It was cute when Bush did it. With Obama it’s different because KENYAN MUSLIN SOCIAMALISM!

  3. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:21

    The very idea of double allegiance is considered “civic bigamy” by scholars such as Dr. John Fonte, who notes the “principle that an American citizen should be loyal to the United States and to no other country or political power is a moral and constitutional issue of the highest order[.]”

    I find myself agreeing and think we should deport anyone displaying a Confederate flag.

  4. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:24

    The problem with anchor babies is finding a good spot to weld on the chain.

  5. Squid VIcious said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:40

    Let’s not forget that other fount of anti-American, pro-jihadi radicalism, Clause 1, Section 1 of the 14th Amendment, which provides:

    “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States…”

    Why does the 14th Amendment hate America?

  6. Aron said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:40

    The other big problem with anchor babies is that a mothership (haw!) needs at least three: two BIG babies for use in heavy conditions, and an *itty-bitty* for use in fair. Plus finding anchor-baby winches is a BITCH-AND-A-HALF!

    (Longtime reader, firsttime commenter. Really happy to join the Nudnik Legion of SNo!)

  7. LittlePig said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:41

    controversial practice of granting U.S. citizenship to every baby born on our soil

    Right up with those other ‘controversial’ issues, like “Earth: Round vs Flat…Views Differ” and “Wetness of water questioned! Film at 11!”

  8. Major Kong said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:42

    It’s awe inspiring to watch Cerberus wield the blade of logic like a Hattori Hanz? Katana.

  9. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:42

    Hey sailor, I read you longtime.

  10. Smut Clyde said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:42

    The very idea of double allegiance is considered “civic bigamy”

    I am SO POLYGAMOUS.

  11. Smut Clyde said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:46

    Am I a bad person for singing “Tied down with anchor babies”?

  12. Major Kong said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:47

    Anchor (babies) away!

  13. LittlePig said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:50

    Whad’ya bet that Michelle Malkin, Our Lady Of The Internment Camps and noted Anchor Baby would publish Cindy Simpson, great Amurikin, without the slightest bit of hesitation?

  14. Smut Clyde said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:52

    even when the race card is thrown

    MYTHBUSTERS EPISODE.

  15. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:54

    In fact, U.S. citizenship has become such a prized possession that an entire industry, “birth tourism,” has blossomed to meet the demand from mothers from around the world who want to ensure that their babies arrive with the status of American citizenship.

    It was a lucky April shower
    It was a most convenient floor
    Out came the millionth anchor baby
    In a five and ten cent store.

  16. Major Kong said,

    February 2, 2012 at 2:55

    The other big problem with anchor babies is that a mothership (haw!) needs at least three

    What about the sea-anchor baby?

  17. vacuumslayer said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:03

    (Longtime reader, firsttime commenter. Really happy to join the Nudnik Legion of SNo!)

    Welcome, Aron….although I’m not sure it’s appropriate for you to be here. According to your twitter avatar you’re awfully young.

  18. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:06

    As Ms. Sellers wrote of dual citizenship, “[w]ar is all about taking sides. Unless of course, you can’t, because you belong on both sides.”

    Our nation’s sovereignty relies on citizens who belong on its side, with sole allegiance to the political community of the United States of America, which, in turn, provides its citizens the guaranteed protection of the rule of law.

    What happens if there’s a war and half the army quits because they’re Yemenis? Answer THAT, libs!

  19. MDW said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:10

    I smell the stench of birther all over this argument.

  20. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:13

    Yes, denying citizenship to someone before killng him will probably make dying easier.

  21. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:27

    (Longtime reader, firsttime commenter. Really happy to join the Nudnik Legion of SNo!)

    One of us! One of us!

    Or, if you prefer…

    One of us! One of us!

  22. Chris said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:27

    Yeah, dual citizenship sounds all cool in theory, like some jetsetter superspy bouncing between countries, but in practice, it’s a big fancy safety net usually used for things like not having to deal with a lot of hassle for visits to family, being able to leave to a country with functional health care if you get sick, or going to a country with jobs or free education if say one country is going through the shit-hole.

    Either that or it’s just the fact that we were literally born at a border between two different countries (in my case, by dint of having two parents, each from a separate country) and thus, can and do feel an equal attachment and loyalty to both.

    I can see why you’re required to renounce your citizenship if you work for the military or any other part of the federal government – and as someone who’s hoping to someday end up working in the national security community, I accepted long ago that I’d have to do just that. As private citizens, though, there isn’t a goddamn reason why they should have to renounce their birth.

    imagine the nightmare if America became involved in a worldwide conflict while having a significant percentage of citizens claiming not just heritage, but actual citizenship in the very countries with which we might be at war.

    Dumbass, if we could survive one-fifth of our population being Loyalist in the Revolution and damn near half the country rising up in revolution during the Civil War, I’m pretty sure the 0.001% of Iranian-American dual citizens in Northern Virginia aren’t going to bring down the Republic.

  23. Quaker in a Basement said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:30

    Our nation’s sovereignty relies on citizens who belong on its side, with sole allegiance to the political community of the United States of America,

    and maybe Israel.

  24. Chris said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:30

    I find myself agreeing and think we should deport anyone displaying a Confederate flag.

    Or anyone else who believes in and agitates for secession, as Sarah Palin’s husband did back in Alaska.

    Come to think of it, we should deport their wives, too. Because a good Christian wife should submit to her husband, and if Sarah Palin’s such a good Christian, that means the governor of one of America’s fifty states was submitting to someone who wanted to break away from America, doesn’t it?

  25. Chris said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:35

    And indeed, if citizenship is purely based on geographical location at the moment of birth, well-timed travel planning is crucial. For the foreign relatives desiring admission to the U.S., an “anchor baby” birth in the right spot and time is cause for celebration. Mark Cromer, in his essay for CAPS titled “American Jackpot: The Remaking of America by Birthright Citizenship,” used the subheading “Run, Squat and Drop.” Perhaps an insensitive description, but such is the reality.

    Can’t find it anymore, but Actor had a post on his blog (this was quite a while ago) addressing the concerns about “anchor babies” being used as a back door to citizenship for the baby’s parents… by describing the exact process anchor-baby-parents had to go through to become citizens, which as I recall, was even more long and arduous than the process for regular applicants to legal immigration.

  26. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:39

    Our nation’s sovereignty relies on citizens who belong on its side, with sole allegiance to the political community of the United States of America,

    The Cubs cannot survive this.

  27. Spearhafoc, who loves ya, baby said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:42

    Come to think of it, we should deport their wives, too. Because a good Christian wife should submit to her husband, and if Sarah Palin’s such a good Christian, that means the governor of one of America’s fifty states was submitting to someone who wanted to break away from America, doesn’t it?

    Yeah, but you forget the major problem with deporting Sarah Palin: what country would take her? We in Soviet Canuckistan certainly don’t want her.

  28. tigris said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:43

    The problem with anchor babies is finding a good spot to weld on the chain.

    Also, they float.

    Why does the 14th Amendment hate America?

    I was JUST going to bring that up and here I see you’ve stolen my thunder which should TOTALLY be unconstitutional. Anyhoo, they’re welcome to try to amend the Constitution instead of passing unconstitutional laws WHILE MOANING ABOUT HOW LAWS THEY DON’T LIKE ARE UNCONSTITUTIONAL.

    Also too: H.R. 3166: Enemy Expatriation Act

    112th Congress: 2011-2012

    To add engaging in or supporting hostilities against the United States to the list of acts for which United States nationals would lose their nationality.
    Sponsor: Rep. Charles Dent [R-PA15]

    OH NOES DAMN OBAMAAAAA! And seriously, NDAA is the National Defense Authorization Act, without passage of which the Department of Defense has no budget and can spend no money. Now imagine the Republican response had Obama vetoed it…

  29. Smut Clyde said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:46

    and maybe Israel.
    Also Austrian. Perhaps Cindy Simpson should have raised this issue back when Schwarzenegger was running to govern California.

  30. address my envelope, lips! said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:49

    I am amazed Cindy managed to keep it together for even one paragraph, before being overwhelmed by her hatred for furriners of dusky hue.

    Rather than engage in the politically incorrect practice of “profiling,”

    Translation: “We want to go back to picking on brown people!” Because white people never commit acts of terrorism, especially not white US citizens *cough*McVeigh*cough*abortion clinic bombers*cough*the guy that flew his plane into an IRS building*cough*etc.*cough*.

  31. Chris said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:50

    Oh, okay, one more thing:

    As Ms. Sellers wrote of dual citizenship, “[w]ar is all about taking sides. Unless of course, you can’t, because you belong on both sides.”

    Ignoring what I already said above (e.g. that the Armed Forces, the CIA and all assorted People Who Fight Wars ALREADY require us to abandon our allegiance to “the other side” if we fight in a war) –

    How is Sellers (whoever the fuck that is)’s hypothetical any different from a conscientious objector who tells his country in its hour of need “I’m sorry, I feel loyalty towards my country, but I also feel loyalty to my God/my principles which supersedes that loyalty, therefore I cannot go and join your war”? I mean, we’ve been making exceptions for these people for centuries. How is a dual citizen any different for a baby born in goddamn Amish country whose birth more or less guarantees that he’ll never be on “your side” if there’s a war, despite being born to two completely American parents?

    Fucking Christ, I hate these guys. Absolutely dedicated to spending their entire LIVES looking for the Not-Quite-Enough-Like-Me People and then moving heaven and earth to find out how they might make life just a little more difficult for them. Dumb, bitter and vengeful is no way to go through life, son.

  32. tigris said,

    February 2, 2012 at 3:55

    imagine the nightmare if America became involved in a worldwide conflict while having a significant percentage of citizens claiming not just heritage, but actual citizenship in the very countries with which we might be at war.

    Dumbass, if we could survive one-fifth of our population being Loyalist in the Revolution

    And near 100% could claim British heritage and citizenship…

  33. Spengler Dampniche said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:10

    Not to be venturesome or anything, but I believe the shorter™ for this little petit-feuille is “all niggers must hang.”

    You’re welcome.

  34. tsam said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:13

    But what about the Terror Babies?

  35. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:15

    What’s all this about the Bush years?

    Everybody knows that President Clinton handed the Oval Office over to President Obama, without even an election being held!!1!
    ~

  36. Major Kong said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:18

    As Ms. Sellers wrote of dual citizenship, “[w]ar is all about taking sides. Unless of course, you can’t, because you belong on both sides.”

    Speaking from her great experience fighting wars?

  37. tsam said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:18

    Dumb, bitter and vengeful is where the cheap beer is. So nyah

  38. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:22

    Here’s a first: I went to fetch my wife a soda (diet Orange Crush) from one of those cardboard twelve-packs. The first can I grabbed felt light. Turns out it is only about 10% full. There’s no hole in the can, it’s unopened, and there’s no spillage nearby. They seem to have filled it wrong and then shipped it anyway.

  39. address my envelope, lips! said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:30

    Here’s a first: I went to fetch my wife a soda (diet Orange Crush) from one of those cardboard twelve-packs. The first can I grabbed felt light. Turns out it is only about 10% full. There’s no hole in the can, it’s unopened, and there’s no spillage nearby. They seem to have filled it wrong and then shipped it anyway.

    Soda is THEFT!

  40. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:32

    I went to fetch my wife a soda (diet Orange Crush) from one of those cardboard twelve-packs. The first can I grabbed felt light. Turns out it is only about 10% full. There’s no hole in the can, it’s unopened, and there’s no spillage nearby.

    No dead rat? PIKER!

  41. Habeas Corpus said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:38

    Miss me yet?

  42. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:39

    A rat coulda been inside that can without getting more than his ankles wet.

    My boundless rage will probably animate my corpse when I die. My revenant will walk the earth seeking vengeance, and it won’t drink Orange Crush for refreshment along the way.

  43. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:41

    My boundless rage will probably animate my corpse when I die

    You may provide the answer science has been searching for of whether the light goes out when the coffin lid closes.

  44. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:46

    As someone who grew up on the Canadian border I can guarantee you that a large percentage of those dual citizens are Canadian. Hell I know a few. Come to think of it, I’m a member of an American Indian tribe – who knows when we might start shooting at the Union Pacific.

  45. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:54

    “You may provide the answer science has been searching for of whether the light goes out when the coffin lid closes.”

    Oh fuck I’m screwed. I don’t like this plan anymore. I have a real fear of entombment and tight spaces generally.

    I may have to forgive whomever makes that stuff. God, it’s in your hands now.

  46. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:55

    I have a real fear of entombment and tight spaces generally.

    How about fire?

  47. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 4:58

    I have a real fear of entombment and tight spaces generally.

    Do not, under any circumstances, read “Where There’s a Will” by Richard Matheson. You’ll never sleep again.

    Read other Matheson, though. He’s a fucking genius.

  48. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 5:04

    “How about fire?”

    Fire has always been my loyal friend, but what are you proposing?

    I guess I’d rather die in a fire that trapped in a coffin. The smoke might kill you before the flames.

  49. Spearhafoc, who loves ya, baby said,

    February 2, 2012 at 5:13

    Fire has always been my loyal friend, but what are you proposing?

    But I heard from a very reliable source that “fire bad!”

  50. Aron said,

    February 2, 2012 at 5:18

    Regarding my incredibly immature Twitter avatar, what can I say? I’m the (Burger) King of the Anchor Babies.

    And Major Kong, didn’t I include a sea-anchor baby? If not, let’s strap a parachute to one, tie it up, and throw it over the side.

  51. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 5:23

    “But I heard from a very reliable source that ‘fire bad!’”

    I bet Frankenstein’s monster made friends with fire while traipsing around in the arctic. I can forgive SNL making him out to be dumb for comedic purposes, but he was one sharp cookie.

  52. jim said,

    February 2, 2012 at 5:28

    Aha! You forget the latest talking-point: Bush Was Secretly A Liberal!

    Game, Set & Match, libtards.

    Remember … “If you’re innocent clinically brain-dead, you have nothing to fear.”

    Gotta love it whenever these yuts cite some window-licking headcase from days of yore with all the usual academic authoritative blandness. Counting down the years (or weeks?) until we start hearing the sage opinions of Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck & other conservative intellectuals being presented as academic Holy Writ. Liberty & Bob Jones U need to hurry up & get a Pataphysics course on their syllabus, pronto, & hail Ubu Rex as their one true saviour … after all, Ubu is the Conservative Ideal made flesh:slaughter everyone & take all their stuff.

    I keep wondering if the real devastation the right is spawning in the modern era isn’t actually their marathon of policy-based clusterfucks at all – it’s their apparent justification of a subtle but inexorable downward slide of overall intellectual, political & ethical standards.

    “You keep letting us get away with it, therefore it must be okay” = WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS ANY MORE.

    Clusterfucks can (usually) be repaired … but missing brains take the ability to react appropriately with them. The farther down that greased funnel we all drift, the more of a long hard slog it’ll be to ever get the denizens of Idiocracyshire to remember the importance of things that aren’t reruns of “OW, MY BALLS!” or day-old Hot Pockets.

    If electrical engineering or nuclear science had gone where political science has gone in the US since 1980, by now the NICE parts would look like Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome on meth.

  53. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 2, 2012 at 5:32

    Fire Good!

    (I was looking for Night at the Museum, though.)
    ~

  54. Spearhafoc, who loves ya, baby said,

    February 2, 2012 at 5:38

    I bet Frankenstein’s monster made friends with fire while traipsing around in the arctic. I can forgive SNL making him out to be dumb for comedic purposes, but he was one sharp cookie.

    I like the first few Frankenstein movies, even though they have nothing to do with the book. In my head, I just make them into two very separate works.

    Yeah, the Creature in the book is very intelligent, and talks about making fire early in his life and blah, blah. I was making a bad joke. Sorry.

  55. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 2, 2012 at 5:40

    I like the first few Frankenstein movies, even though they have nothing to do with the book. In my head, I just make them into two very separate works.

    That first one is a fine film. Been a long time since I saw Bride, but some day soon…

  56. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 5:48

    “I was making a bad joke. Sorry.”

    Don’t be sorry, I was not trying to school you, and I’ll take any kind of joke you’ve got.

    It’s been a long time since I saw it. But I bet one could argue that the monster depicted in the first classic Frankenstein movie is not dumb, just inarticulate, confused and all that jazz.

  57. rodert rudis said,

    February 2, 2012 at 5:49

    Six years ago I was left stranded on a dark stretch of unpaved road near Jalapa in northern Nicaragua when the bus I was riding broke down. All the other passengers abandoned the bus and began walking towards their homes without so much as a word. I sat for a while with the bus driver and smoked a cigar, then decided to follow. After about an hour of walking I came across a small mud walled hut with a thatch roof. I called out to see if anyone would invite me in. An old man came to the open doorway and asked who I was. I replied that I was a gringo and that I was lost. He waved me inside. He was sitting a table with a woman about his age, maybe seventy five or eighty. They offered me a bowl of beans from a pot sitiing in a small bed of coals. I took the food and thanked them.

    While I ate the beans the old woman smiled at me and asked my name and where I was from. The old man went to a bed in one corner and slid out a suitcase and opened it. He pulled out a tattered manila envelope and handed it to the old woman. She flipped open one end and turned it up, spilling everything onto the table. She found several photographs and passed them to me. They were old black and whites, pictures of her and her husband leaning against an old Ford pickup, maybe a ’39 or ’40 model.

    She tapped a picture and said, “Albama, Albama. Fuimos a los estados para trabajo. Nos quedamos alla durante dos anos trabajando en una finca, trabajando en los campos.” (Alabama, Alabama. We went to the States for work. We stayed there for two years on a farm, working in the fields) She smiled at me again and I noticed she was crying. She said, “Amamos a los estados unidos. Nos trataron muy bien. Nos trataron como seres humanos.” (We love the U.S. They treated us very well. They treated us like human beings). Then the old man said that I should sleep in the bed. I replied that I couldn’t take their bed but he insisted. He said I could share the bed with him and his wife would spend the night in the chair. I said no again. She took me by the arm and said, “Por favor, duermete en la cama. Es lo que quiero.” (Please, sleep in the bed. It’s what I want.)

  58. Anonymous said,

    February 2, 2012 at 6:05

    Been a long time since I saw Bride, but some day soon…

    Bride is great fun, though there is a certain amount of Una O’ Connor to be dealt with (seriously, woman had a voice that could strip paint).

  59. Interrobang said,

    February 2, 2012 at 6:31

    That’s a hell of a story, rodert.

    (Some dialect words in that Spanish, too — I know granja or hacienda for “farm,” not finca. Ah, language geekery. Me gusta mucho algunas lenguas, pero especialmente Espanol y Hebreo.)

  60. buddy66 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 7:12

    Oh, shit! You mean I have to choose sides when the U.S. goes to war with Canada because my Canadian mother was in Detroit when I was born? I am both a Yank and a Canuck with dual citizenship. I DON’T WANNA CHOOSE. I love both my countries.

  61. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 2, 2012 at 7:36

    Has anyone exclaimed “PRONG!” yet in this thread?

    If not, consider it done.
    .

  62. Penny Stinkard said,

    February 2, 2012 at 7:41

    Translation: “We want to go back to picking on brown people!” Because white people never commit acts of terrorism, especially not white US citizens *cough*McVeigh*cough*abortion clinic bombers*cough*the guy that flew his plane into an IRS building*cough*etc.*cough*.

    Oh you Silly Billy, none of those examples count as terrorism, because they were all rightwing nuts freedom-loving Americans.

  63. Penny Stinkard said,

    February 2, 2012 at 7:44

    Committed by, even.

  64. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 2, 2012 at 8:21

    Everybody knows that President Clinton handed the Oval Office over to President Obama, without even an election being held!!1!

    Who among us would be surprised if they heard that spouted by Steve Doocy tomorrow morning?
    .

  65. Fenwick said,

    February 2, 2012 at 8:24

    Cerb: Can we haz Shorter pleez?

  66. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 2, 2012 at 8:28

    Who among us would be surprised if they heard that spouted by Steve Doocy tomorrow morning?

    Ah, dang… res ipsa loquitur. I would be very surprised, as I do not have cable. :)
    .

  67. Fenwick said,

    February 2, 2012 at 8:46

    Hiya, Aron! Have fun in Sadlyville … but beware the Dark Force: SN addiiction.

  68. Fenwick said,

    February 2, 2012 at 8:47

    Crap. Dark SIDE.

  69. Fenwick said,

    February 2, 2012 at 8:57

    Our nation’s sovereignty relies on citizens who belong on its side, with sole allegiance to the political community of the United States of America,

    and maybe Israel.

    Righteous. This has pissed me off for decades, Quaker.

  70. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 2, 2012 at 9:47

    Nevermind teh anchor babbies,teh real threat is teh ichor babies.

    Ia! Ia! INS wgah’nagl fhtagn!

  71. Hogeye Grex said,

    February 2, 2012 at 10:04

    I find myself agreeing and think we should deport anyone displaying a Confederate flag.

    One of my hugest pet peeves: Dumbasses flying both the Confederate and the American flags. Sorry, fuckface. You don’t get to call yourself both. You are one, or you are the other. By all rights, in a sane world, flying the stars and bars should command about the same reaction that hoisting a swastika flag in downtown Tel Aviv would.

    It’s not solace enough knowing that they’re just too damned stupid to understand, but I guess it’s all I’m likely to get.

  72. Hogeye Grex said,

    February 2, 2012 at 10:07

    rodert rudis said,

    February 2, 2012 at 5:49

    Wow.

  73. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 2, 2012 at 10:54

    OT – actually, let’s call it teh unicorn chaser. In case you haven’t seen it yet – Champis.

  74. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 2, 2012 at 11:13

    Ia! Ia! INS wgah’nagl fhtagn!

    NOW you’ve done it!

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!!

  75. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 2, 2012 at 11:19

    They walk unseen and foul in lonely places where the Words have been spoken and the Rites howled through at their Seasons. The wind gibbers with Their voices, and the earth mutters with Their consciousness. They bend the forest and crush the city, yet may not forest or city behold the hand that smites. Kadath in the cold waste hath known Them, and what man knows Kadath? The ice desert of the South and the sunken isles of Ocean hold stones whereon Their seal is engraver, but who bath seen the deep frozen city or the sealed tower long garlanded with seaweed and barnacles? Great Cthulhu is Their cousin, yet can he spy Them only dimly. Iä! Shub-Niggurath! As a foulness shall ye know Them. Their hand is at your throats, yet ye see Them not; and Their habitation is even one with your guarded threshold. Yog-Sothoth is the key to the gate, whereby the spheres meet. Man rules now where They ruled once; They shall soon rule where man rules now. After summer is winter, after winter summer. They wait patient and potent, for here shall They reign again.

  76. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 2, 2012 at 11:22

    From here: http://www.dagonbytes.com/thelibrary/lovecraft/thedunwichhorror.htm

  77. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 2, 2012 at 11:24

    …but it could describe the tea party…

  78. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 2, 2012 at 11:40

    Since H.P. killed the thread, how about:

    Mr Armitage,’ he said, ‘I calc’late I’ve got to take that book home. They’s things in it I’ve got to try under sarten conditions that I can’t git here, en’ it ‘ud be a mortal sin to let a red-tape rule hold me up. Let me take it along, Sir, an’ I’ll swar they wun’t nobody know the difference. I dun’t need to tell ye I’ll take good keer of it. It wan’t me that put this Dee copy in the shape it is…’

    Now THAT’S some tea party!

  79. Fenwick said,

    February 2, 2012 at 11:49

    The thred hain’t daid, Mr. s cerevisiaeiouandsometimesy.. (In fact, I saved yer link.)

  80. Fenwick said,

    February 2, 2012 at 12:01

    And anyway, Mr. Beer Ingerdients Person, * I * am the Destroyer of Threads. Ruthless and relentless am I.

    So wot’s shakin’ wit yoo?

  81. Fenwick said,

    February 2, 2012 at 12:30

    Before I forget:

    Chris, I’ve very much enjoyed your commentary in the last three threads … esp. the ones up-thread. Anyway, as of old, here’s a shout-out from Clam City.

    Also: Spengler !!!
    Also: Another rodert rudis story !

    bbfk: Your daughter had cancer? ['Crank up the Fenwick Question machine, Eddie.'] Affected organ(s)? Where did you go for treatment? How old was she at diagnosis … and how long was the course of her disease? What early symptoms tipped you (pl) off?

    How did you explain things to her?

    [Question Machine explodes in spectacular pyrotechnic display.]

  82. Fenwick said,

    February 2, 2012 at 12:41

    teh unicorn chaser.

    An exotic drink? What are the ingredients?

    Also, DKW, thanx for sheep-herding bunny link. I love critters. Imma gonna send it to some family and friends who love critters too.

  83. Fenwick the Ruthless, Destroyer of Threads, said,

    February 2, 2012 at 12:44

    THIS is how a Thread is destroyed. I am invicinble. My power knows no bounds. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH !!!

  84. wiley said,

    February 2, 2012 at 12:54

    Jesus Samuel B. Christ on a flaky crust*!!! As far as I’m concerned, anyone who joins forces with terrorists overseas to wage violence against the United States has expatriated themselves and I’ll be fucked with my own dick if I care whether or not the U.S. government goes out of its way to extradite an enemy of the people of the United States. If a President gets a hair up his butt to order any citizen killed, the only thing standing between that President and the rule of law is the honor of the government agencies that the President might call upon to carry out a hit. It has always been so.

    When terrorists wage war against citizens on American soil, they should get a trial whenever they are captured alive. If a nut wants to go toe to toe with a SWAT team or the FBI, then that’s their choice. Pay your nickle. Take your chances. I’d much rather see a domestic terrorist riddled with bullets by overzealous police than see one innocent bystander harmed by a hateful nut’s rage.

    The racism that is rearing its ugly head right now in this country is so virulent and nasty that even I feel stunned in the headlights at times. Xenophobia is inexcusably bad in this country. I just decided to call Oregon home (after 13 years) but DAMN a lot of people in this place have a problem with others! I watched a nurse in lock-down talk about how a Mexican man who didn’t speak English was “refusing” to cooperate because he was “refusing” to understand wtf she was saying. It would be hard to imagine a more gentle and patient man. He was baby deer-like in his gentle and inoffensive nature, but this nurse was compelled to ascribe to him all of her negative feelings and fears of brown people.

    It’s far past old, this racism. I want to whip it within an inch of its life sometimes, it’s so terribly ugly, unwarranted, and insane. WTF is wrong with these people? On one hand, it’s hard to imagine them having had a healthy home life and childhood, on the other hand, people who have committed atrocities resulting in mass casualties with no apparent regret have had normal relations with family and friends. It seems that we humans can love those in our group or tribe with one part of our brain, while regarding other humans with such contempt that we don’t consider them to be human at all with another part of our brains. We really need to advance beyond that.

    * not to be confused with the Prince of Peace

  85. Cole said,

    February 2, 2012 at 13:29

    When a person is deported, does the government pick up the tab for transportation, and is the receiving country bound to accept the person?

    Cause I wouldn’t mind being deported to any number of countries–New Zealand for starters.

  86. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 14:16

    Foreign-born applicants for U.S. citizenship must formally reject other citizenships in their Oath of Naturalization. However, children born here as dual citizens are never formally required to make such a renouncement. The State Department rarely enforces its policies discouraging dual citizenship, and has adopted, as described by Frances Stead Sellers, a sort of “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

    BLAPPPPPPPPPP!

    WRONG!

    The State Department guidelines are very very clear: you can declare dual citizenship, but if you renounce *American* citizenship, you lose the rights and privileges of American citizenry. You have to make a formal declaration (a notarized letter suffices, IIRC, to your local embassy if you’re abroad or to the State Department if you’re still here,) but apart from that, you retain the rights granted under the Constitution.

    How hard is this?

    This is why your straw man is “rarely enforced”. It doesn’t exist.

  87. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 14:17

    When a person is deported, does the government pick up the tab for transportation, and is the receiving country bound to accept the person?

    No, and no. You’re escorted to the nearest border, or airport, if you can afford a flight out. You pick up your costs, the government picks up the costs of the LEO assigned to make sure you get the fuck out.

  88. Suezboo said,

    February 2, 2012 at 14:19

    Wiley – Word (as the internet denizens say)

  89. sparks said,

    February 2, 2012 at 15:19

    Years ago, I knew a guy who had a Confederate flag and a menorah on his mantlepiece. I couldn’t make head or tail of that when I saw it and finally ascribed it to his using hard drugs.

  90. smedley said,

    February 2, 2012 at 15:27

    “Years ago, I knew a guy who had a Confederate flag and a menorah on his mantlepiece. I couldn’t make head or tail of that when I saw it and finally ascribed it to his using hard drugs.”

    I think you may have given him way too much credit. My bet would be that he thought the menorah was just a fancy candle-holder.

  91. Major Kong said,

    February 2, 2012 at 15:47

    Cause I wouldn’t mind being deported to any number of countries–New Zealand for starters.

    I suppose if I had to go to Provence or Tuscany the hardship might not be too much to bear.

  92. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 15:55

    Don’t throw me in the briar patch Edinburgh!

  93. El Manquécito said,

    February 2, 2012 at 16:33

    Will no one think of the drogue babies?

  94. smedley said,

    February 2, 2012 at 17:01

    I met Lino Graglia once. He is about 5-foot-two and about a hundred-forty pounds. Resisted the temptation to warn: “Mon general, don’t under-estimate that Wellington fellow………”

  95. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 2, 2012 at 17:07

    Jesus Samuel B. Christ on a flaky crust*!!! As far as I’m concerned, anyone who joins forces with terrorists overseas to wage violence against the United States has expatriated themselves and I’ll be fucked with my own dick if I care whether or not the U.S. government goes out of its way to extradite an enemy of the people of the United States. If a President gets a hair up his butt to order any citizen killed, the only thing standing between that President and the rule of law is the honor of the government agencies that the President might call upon to carry out a hit. It has always been so.

    This could have been written by any fan of G.W. Bush and Dick Cheney a couple of years ago.

    I’d much rather see a domestic terrorist riddled with bullets by overzealous police than see one innocent bystander harmed by a hateful nut’s rage.

    You’re a lot more likely to see innocent bystanders riddled with bullets from overzealous police when this attitude prevails.
    ~

  96. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 2, 2012 at 17:12

  97. antpogo said,

    February 2, 2012 at 17:28

    MDW said,

    I smell the stench of birther all over this argument.

    For good reason.

    The “Attorney Leo Donofrio” cited in the article has been one of the people most active in the legal efforts to challenge President Obama’s eligibility for the office based on his citizenship. He’s not only filed numerous lawsuits to that effect (all of which have failed), but also believes that the Obama administration is engaged in a conspiracy to erase all evidence supporting his particular interpretation of US citizenship from from legal websites like Justia.com.

    Oh, and he most recently submitted a 209-page amicus brief in support of “Birther Queen” Orly Taitz’s lawsuit in Georgia, where she’s trying to get President Obama removed from the Democratic primary ballot there.

  98. Tom Allen said,

    February 2, 2012 at 17:45

    ” If a President gets a hair up his butt to order any citizen killed, the only thing standing between that President and the rule of law is the honor of the government agencies that the President might call upon to carry out a hit. It has always been so.”

    Fuck yeah! The rule of law is only for sissies. I think that’s what George Washington said, or maybe it was Ben Franklin. Anyway, glad to know that you SadlyNots are as authoritarian as the Republican twatwaffles you mock in every other thread. :-(

  99. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 2, 2012 at 18:02

    as authoritarian as the Republican twatwaffles

    Yeah, ’cause as I was telling Queen Latifah the other day, simply observing objective reality means you support whatever awful thang you’re observing… idiot.
    .

  100. JohnR said,

    February 2, 2012 at 18:36

    As tigris said, way, way back there, in response to Nota Bene:

    “The problem with anchor babies is finding a good spot to weld on the chain.”

    ‘Also, they float.’

    Not after you attach the chain.

    Also, I’m so pleased that Mr Furious and his Boundless Rage (and what a band that would be, eh?) have joined this thread. I feel a warm glow inside.

  101. jim said,

    February 2, 2012 at 18:41

    glad to know that you SadlyNots are as authoritarian as the Republican twatwaffles you mock in every other thread

    Which is why your comment was deleted.

    It’s also plain to see that we’re all one big happy monolithic echo-chamber of groupthink here in Sadlytown. Differences of opinion are not only strictly verboten but are brutally punished by the infidel with the less conformist opinion being permab& by our infallible Mod masters, under the direct authority of Sith Lord SOROS (pbuh), & we wouldn’t want it any other way.

    Liberal Fascism now, Liberal Fascism tomorrow, Liberal Fascism for EVAR!

  102. Mark D said,

    February 2, 2012 at 18:42

    “The problem with anchor babies is finding a good spot to weld on the chain.”
    –N_B, way upthread

    Coffee, meet monitor. Monitor, coffee.

    So where should I send these Internets you just won?

  103. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 18:43

    “If a President gets a hair up his butt to order any citizen killed, the only thing standing between that President and the rule of law is the honor of the government agencies that the President might call upon to carry out a hit. It has always been so.”

    I read this as a statement of fact.

  104. LittlePig said,

    February 2, 2012 at 18:46

    I read this as a statement of fact.

    As did I, because it’s a statement of fact.

  105. jim said,

    February 2, 2012 at 18:46

    Speaking of Liberal Fascism …surely noone could have predicted this SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT!

  106. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 18:46

    What the fuck would I do with an internet? I already have porn.

  107. Major Kong said,

    February 2, 2012 at 18:51

    I’d much rather see a domestic terrorist riddled with bullets by overzealous police than see one innocent bystander harmed by a hateful nut’s rage.

    Ready! Fire! Aim!

  108. Major Kong said,

    February 2, 2012 at 18:55

    I met Lino Graglia once. He is about 5-foot-two and about a hundred-forty pounds. Resisted the temptation to warn: “Mon general, don’t under-estimate that Wellington fellow………”

    Actually Napoleon I was 5′ 7″ tall, which was average height for the time period.

    The British often drew him as diminutive, which is where we get the idea that he was short.

  109. bbkf said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:01

    and both warn that expatriation is a serious criminal punishment that essentially sends “American citizens into exile.”

    why do they say that like it’s a bad thing? some days, i think it would be pretty sweet…

  110. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:05

    And since the fat guy gets no respect, here’s Curly.
    .

  111. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:07

    Our domestic authorities seem pretty good about not inflicting collateral damage — overseas the innocent bystander is outta luck. In either case the direct target (innocent or not) will suffer more force than is generally merited. All it seems to take to sweep aside concerns about restraint and due process is the possibility that our fine men and women in their various uniforms might get hurt more. Which would be bad, but when you’re at the point of arguing that daisycutter bombs hafta be dropped on the off chance that some marines might die in a dodgier operation, you’re not looking to conserve innocent lives. I suppose there are domestic (tazing?) or citizenship-related (Ruby Ridge?) parallels but I won’t make them. I shouldn’t be typing at all.

  112. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:11

    “The British often drew [Napoleon] as diminutive, which is where we get the idea that he was short.”

    So far we’ve restressed that Frankenstein’s monster was not stupid, and Napoleon was not short. Perhaps someone can reach for a trifecta.

  113. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:20

    So far we’ve restressed that Frankenstein’s monster was not stupid, and Napoleon was not short. Perhaps someone can reach for a trifecta.

    Ceci n’est pas une blogge.

  114. Aron said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:22

    And anchor babies do not make good marine equipment.

    CRA, I believe that’s your trifecta. LOL

  115. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:22

    Babelfish can’t translate that.

  116. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:23

    CRA: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Treachery_of_Images

  117. Lurking Canadian said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:24

    But I heard from a very reliable source that “fire bad!”

    However, it is well known that trees are pretty.

  118. Aron said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:26

    Also, I prefer to think of Cindy Simpson not as a Slippery Eel, but as a Sloopery Ool. I think that simile is far more apt.

    (If you replace all of the ‘I’s in ‘Mississippi’ with ‘O’s, you spell ‘Mossosooppo!’ –>Bill Teague’s A Day with Wilbur Robinson)

  119. Lurking Canadian said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:26

    Perhaps someone can reach for a trifecta.

    Bogart never says “Play it again, Sam”.

    Cagney never says “You dirty rat!”

    The British Navy didn’t really keep iron shot on a brass monkey.

  120. Pryme said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:26

    And since the fat guy gets no respect

    (Slightly) relevant.

  121. Aron said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:27

    Brass monkey? That funky monkey!

  122. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:32

    “CRA: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Treachery_of_Images

    Gah, you’ve exposed that I didn’t retain things learnt as an undergrad.

    Aron– I can’t count anchor babies for the trifecta because the marine angle doesn’t skewer pop knowledge about babies, or anchors. People really no think 1-2 of my trifecta are true. You can count anchor babies in some immigration-related sense.

  123. Aron said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:40

    CRA,

    I only included the babies because when I worked at a marine supply store, I received an inordinate number of requests for those newfangled kedge anchor babies.

    I would explain the buoyancy issue, but people never understood it. They just kept coming back. It was the weirdest thing.

  124. wiley said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:46

    Fuck yeah! The rule of law is only for sissies. I think that’s what George Washington said, or maybe it was Ben Franklin. Anyway, glad to know that you SadlyNots are as authoritarian as the Republican twatwaffles you mock in every other thread. :-(

    I see someone has problems with presumption. I did not say that this should be so, I said that it has always been so. The President also has the authority to launch a nuclear first strike, but recognizing that does not in any way imply that I approve of that in any way shape or form.

    Evidently a lot of babes are coming out of the woods just shocked—SHOCKED— I TELL YOU— that the President of the United States has power. Well whoop-di-fucking do to that bit of news.

    Also, recognizing that the police have been given the power to use force to protect the public does not in any way imply that that power should be abused, or that it is acceptable for the Portland police, for instance, to unload forty clips in a residential neighborhood every time a brown man commits a moving violation. Who trains those clowns?

    Treating a Democratic administration which has drawn down and ended the occupation of Iraq and is doing the same with Afghanistan as if it were “no different from Bush” is, quite frankly, moronic and putting the Democratic party in the same double bind that the Republicans put them in.

    Yes, people in positions of power have power. If you want to influence how that power is used you have to do more than just bitch about it or act all holier than thou as if you’ve wielded power and great responsibility and actually know what’s best and most possible because you ran it through your head. That’s being a citizen, and it always has been; and even the FDR administration made progress gradually and was subject to powers even greater than the President of the United States.

    Such is life. Bad shit happens. Leaders disappoint. Next to nothing is ideal.

  125. DAS said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:47

    The universal principle of wingnut projection? Reminds me of a National Review cover article on “Constitutional Conservatism” (warning, link to NR) that recently caught my eye in the library. I was hoping to find a reasoned argument against technocrats and populism. Yet, it was all strawmen and projection (shouldn’t have surprised me): somehow the fact that a few sensible centrists and neo-liberal types have supported rule by very serious people is evidence that we hippies have a deep disdain for representative democracy? And somehow we, not tea-partiers and Republican governors who think that civil rights should be left up to a vote, are dangerous populists?

    Yet, in Yuval-Levin-land it’s conservatives who argue that “the reveries of those political doctors whose sagacity disdains the admonitions of experimental instruction” (Hamilton) not we liberals who are, in the real world, always pointing out that maybe we should stop listening to all the very serious people urging austerity and start actually doing things to help our economy that actually work. And I guess in Yuval-Levin-land Chris “the leadership of the civil rights movement would have welcomed Southerners getting a chance to vote on civil rights” Christie is a liberal?

    I guess if you think liberals are media wankers and Chris Christie, no wonder you might decide to be a “conservative” and project conservative attitudes onto such “liberals”?

  126. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 19:54

    “They just kept coming back. It was the weirdest thing.”

    I had similar experiences at the baby store.

  127. El Manquécito said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:09

    Trifecta possibility:

    No Vietnam vets were spit on by hippies.

  128. Gerald Fnord said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:13

    It’s bad when a crime boss’ son won’t give back the ill-got gains he’s inherited, but perfectly expectable…and not as bad as what his father did to get them.

  129. Thread Bear said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:14

    Relevant

  130. Thread Bear said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:16

    Perhaps I should forward that link to Michelle Malkin.

  131. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:25

    Re: the Constitutional Conservatism article that DAS linked: I only got through two pages, but:

    “[Populism] in America it has often meant not only a faith in the wisdom of the masses but also a channeling of resentments into a case that the majority is being oppressed by an elite few.”

    What about channeling resentments away from one elite few to another, or toward minorities, or the lower class in general? Nevermind channeling: whose case best fits the facts?

    The OCW movement “seems to be all fringe and no center,” an odd observation, since it is aligned with the un-democratic Democratic side decried above. Levin pretends there’s only a OCW “sense” that the “mass of the public shares that resentment” … “against corporate greed and crony capitalism.” Statistics show otherwise.

    Levin calls the so-called banning of “Edison’s light bulb” an example of “stunning administrative overreach,” but what would Edison think? Would he have been pleased to see his relatively efficient invention overshadowed by an entrenched and subsidized gaslamp lobby, or whatever? Edison would have been the first to adapt … his work in sound recording proves to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he was a flawed person who wanted the best fucking technology, and would sacrifice profit to that end.

  132. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:27

    he was a flawed person who wanted the best fucking technology, and would sacrifice profit to that end.

    Also elephants.

  133. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:32

    Elephants yes, but he didn’t want ponies handed to him on a silver platter. (Just go with me here.)

    Given a longer livespan, Edison would have invented fluorescent bulbs himself, I guess, and then conservatives would be defended those, or rather defending some capitalists intent on selling them forever, preferably in a monolopy situation.

  134. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:35

    OK, so he did make fluorescent bulbs, but in any case, I won’t have lackeys like Yevin Luval claim Edison’s mantle in whole and part for conservatism and free enterprise as it currently stands.

  135. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:36

    I dunno, there’s the potential that he might have smashed a competitor’s flourescent bulb into the face of a mandrill.

  136. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:38

    In a fit of pique, yes, but what ideological message could be inferred?

  137. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:40

    The Edison flourescent:

    He invented a fluorescent lamp in 1896 that used a coating of calcium tungstate as the fluorescing substance, excited by X-rays, but although it received a patent in 1907,[5] it was not put into production.

    That is a pretty awesome thing.

  138. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:46

    Edison was a real bitch about sound recording and reproduction. He could have made much more money if he’d realized that recreation of the experience of listening to a live performance was not the whole future of sound recording and assemblage.

    Perfecting Sound Forever: An Aural History of Recorded Music / by Greg Milner

  139. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:51

    They seem to have filled it wrong and then shipped it anyway.

    Ever been in a bottling plant? Those cans get filled literally faster than the eye can see. I’m amazed that doesn’t happen more often.

    (Not that CRA is wrong to be pissed. I’m just sayin’.)

  140. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:54

    Oh, and he most recently submitted a 209-page amicus brief in support of “Birther Queen” Orly Taitz’s lawsuit

    209 pages?? Some people have way too much time on their hands. How does this guy make a living?

  141. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:56

    Ever been in a bottling plant? Those cans get filled literally faster than the eye can see.

    That depends on a lot of things.

  142. Thread Bear said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:56

    209 pages?? Some people have way too much time on their hands. How does this guy make a living?

    Obviously they charge by the page.

  143. Smut Clyde said,

    February 2, 2012 at 20:59

    Also elephants.
    In today’s world Edison would be inventing new and more efficient ways of killing elephants while the entrenched electricity and LSD lobbies campaigned against his inventions.

  144. Nicola Tesla said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:04

    Edison was a hack!

  145. Smut Clyde said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:10

    Edison’s mantle

    No, no, that was the gas-lighting lobby.

  146. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:21

    “WRATH is sanctified and disguised as self-righteousness, that pompous and overbearing habit of the modern mind to substitute either loud screaming or a whispered set of sneering discourtesies for reasoned discourse. It is the prime and default condition of modern philosophy, particularly on the Left. Note the difference between the anger, the gushing anger, of a crooked figure like Nietzsche or Marx compared to the solemnity of Aristotle or the humility of Socrates, who did not even curse the city that poisoned him.”

    You really can’t win with this guy.

  147. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:22

    And what happens when each passion is left to advocate its own justification?

    You get a copy pasta troll that thinks it’s accomplishing some blogblock but in reality only serves to offer up more material for us to mock

  148. The Seven Deadly Dwarfs said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:23

    Sneezy obviously does a lot of coke.

    Sleepy obviously does a lot of H.

    Dopey has many of the characteristics of the right wing.
    Doc has never shown us a diploma, and appears to have self-certified his speciality.

    Happy must be a fucking moron.

    Bashful always with the violence. Who can tell the net bashee?

    Grumpy lost in 2008 and still hasn’t got over it.

  149. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:23

    Meegan McArdle has something to say!

    Though I’m pro-choice, I don’t share the outrage that was roiling my twitter feed this morning.

    Shocked. Shocked, I am!
    ~

  150. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:26

    Roiling the twitter.

  151. Lurking Canadian said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:26

    PRIDE is sanctified as self-esteem, which I discussed above. The absurdity of raising children to play games where there can be no winners and no losers, or the folly of lowering standards to admit women in the military or on to squads of firefighters when such women have not demonstrated the physical capacity to perform the task, or again the folly of replacing a system that rewards race or minority status rather than rewarding merit and hard work, all are manifestations of the passions of self-aggrandizement called pride. We are not talking about pride of workmanship nor pride of accomplishment: we are talking about that passion, never far from the surface of the human mind, to claim the rewards due another on the grounds of self-love, to exclude all others from praise and consideration, to absorb the attention and glory and direct it toward one’s own vanity.

    And, of course, the same process works in reverse. The Modern mind not only sanctifies the profane, it profanes the sacred.

    Humility, the adverse of Pride, is condemned as a psychologically unhealthy and unsightly lack of self-esteem. Moderns are supposed to give each man to himself that same adoration ancient pagans paid to demigods—but of course, freed from the tyranny of cause and effect, the Modern is supposed to praise himself as brave as Achilles, devout as Aeneas, and cunning as Odysseus, but without actually going to the trouble of being brave, devout or cunning.

    Before holding forth on the deadly sins, it might be a good idea to find out what they are, what the words mean, and why they are considered sinful.

    I’ll help you start. The sin of pride has nothing to do with who wins the trophy in Bantam League Soccer.

    Just saying.

  152. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:27

    Seven Deadly Sins Meets One Stoopit Troll

  153. Lurking Canadian said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:28

    Though I’m pro-choice, I don’t share the outrage that was roiling my twitter feed this morning.

    She’s pro-the-choice-of-any-corporation-to-do-what-it-likes.

    See? Pro-choice!

  154. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:29

    The sin of pride has nothing to do with who wins the trophy in Bantam League Soccer.

    I dunno. If my rooster could play soccer AND win, I’d be pretty damned proud.

  155. Detective Daivd Mills said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:33

    THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS said

    What’s in the box? What’s in the box?

  156. Pryme said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:35

    Get on it, American Thinker

  157. smedley said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:36

    I heard that Lou Gehrig was prideful.

  158. DAS said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:38

    Wow, that is some interesting mango that CRA found about populism. If populism is merely “a faith in the wisdom of the masses”, then certainly the most populist people (at least to the extent that they believe their own hype about “the wisdom of markets”) in our political discourse today are those who insist on leaving everything to market outcomes and disdain regulation. So “liberals are teh populists who support mob rule” is yet again shown to be yet another example of conservative projection.

    OTOH, Levin declares that here in the good ol’ US of A, populism often becomes “a channeling of resentments into a case that the majority is being oppressed by an elite few”. But what if the majority IS being oppressed (either directly or indirectly the elites rejecting their obligations under any decent social contract — which obligations are particularly prominent in the Judeo-Christian tradition that righties are always going on about)? Then isn’t such populism a good thing? Just because our framers were concerned about a “tyranny of the majority” doesn’t mean that they were a-ok with a tyranny of the minority.

    And to the extent that they were a-ok with the tyranny of the minority — e.g. in the support, either explicit or tacit (in profiting from it), of the bastard feudalism and neo-manoralism of the South that privileged a few, wealthy planters — I think that’s an argument for NOT going with the intent of the framers. Well, unless you are a reactionary and objectively pro-slavery … but the conservatives manage to project those beliefs onto us too!

    Anyway, as to Edison, if he could figure out a way to profit from the switch to CFLs (of course, even Edison wasn’t perfect as to how to figure out how to profit from things — c.f. CRA’s comment at 20:46 Sadly, No! Standard Time), he would be in favor of it. Otherwise, of course, he’d oppose it. But such hypothetical opposition hardly proves Levin’s point — it just suggests that those opposing CFLs have their own motives for opposing the change, which motives become projected (projection yet again) when conservatives talk about the promotion of CFLs (or alternative energy or whatever) being not about the environment but about corporate giveaways.

  159. Nicola Tesla said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:39

    IF I ALREADY SAID THAT THEN WHY DOES IT NOT APPEAR?!?!?! FYWP

  160. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:45

    And: “WRATH …”

    Does he like Aristotle and Socrates, or not?

    First he puts forth a pair of negative gambits (screaming or whispered discourtesies) contrasted with reasoned discourse. Then in what’s superficially a parallel structure, he complains that Nietzsche and Marx are angry, while Aristotle and Socrates are solemn and humble, respectively. Style matters alot in philosophy, I guess.

    I dunno what lesson is intended. Nietzsche is widely quoted, but not a leftist or liberal. Socrates, for my money, was just being pragmatic by taking the poison without too much fuss. He’s hardly a proto-conservative. If they own humility I’ll eat tricornered hat formerly worn by a teapartying asshole.

  161. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:51

    If my rooster could play soccer AND win, I’d be pretty damned proud.

    Your cock can’t put it in the back of the net?

  162. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:52

    I dunno. If my rooster could play soccer AND win, I’d be pretty damned proud.

    Your cock can’t put it in the back of the net?

  163. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:53

    Should Incest Be Legal?

    In your case, it should be retroactively a capital crime

  164. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:53

    Oh sure NOW you show up, first comment!

    FYWP!

  165. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:54

    Should Incest Be Legal?

    Clearly it depends on mom’s hotness.

  166. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:55

    Nietzsche is widely quoted, but not a leftist or liberal. Socrates, for my money, was just being pragmatic by taking the poison without too much fuss

    There’s nothing Nietzche couldn’t teach about the raising of the wrist.

    Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

  167. Dr BLT said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:55

    As a shrink, I should know about projection, and the fact is, any extreme position, whether delivered from the right, or from the left, is typically rife with projection. That is not to suggest that such positions don’t contain a modicum of truth, but it never hurts to understand that there may be much more than meets the eye when it comes to political statements.

    BTW, Happy Ground Hog Day. For those of you who know me, you’ll know that I leave a song wherever I go. Here’s a free, original Dr BLTune designed to help folks cope with the prospect of another 6 weeks of winter:

    Ground Hog Day
    Dr BLT
    words and music by Dr. BLT copyright 2012
    Dr. Bruce L. Thiessen, aka, Dr. BLT has released a song just for Ground Hog Day. Maybe that’s why it’s called:

    Ground Hog Day
    Dr BLT: words and music by Dr BLT copyright 2012
    http://www.drblt.com/music/GROUNDHOGglDAYDrBLT3.mp3

  168. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 21:56

    Ground Hog Day

    Gotcha, babe

  169. vacuumslayer said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:00

    Can we just Shorter Big Elf thusly: I don’t give a shit about anything that doesn’t directly effect me at any given moment.

  170. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:02

    I am pleased to report a progression in Dr. BLT’s skillz.

  171. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:05

    Obviously they charge by the page.

    Yeah, but who’s paying? Even the Koch Bros. can’t be that dumb.

  172. vacuumslayer said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:11

    NuCopyPasta tastes like whole wheat pasta–shitty.

  173. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:12

    I am pleased to report a progression in Dr. BLT’s skillz.

    He’ll be back in six weeks!

  174. Pryme said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:17

    SHOULD INCEST BE LEGAL?

    I’m sorry; you want the “anti-abortion” website. They’ll be more than happy to answer your question.

  175. Another Kiwi said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:18

    I am very surprised about the nearly empertee can that CRA got. When I worked at Oca ola the can line had a weighing section on it that bumped light cans. When the filler head went crazy one day the noise of the can bumper sounded like machine-gun fire. Which freaked out some of the new Australians I worked with. But even the can bumper missed them occasionally. At 700 cans per minute one can have a little sympathy for it.
    Cole cannot be deported to New Zealand. Steel and flat screen Teevees, thanks, but we have enough cold and coal.
    . Anchor baby solution Just sayin’

  176. tigris said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:26

    all fringe and no center

    All projection all the time.

  177. bbkf said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:29

    Here’s a first: I went to fetch my wife a soda (diet Orange Crush) from one of those cardboard twelve-packs. The first can I grabbed felt light. Turns out it is only about 10% full. There’s no hole in the can, it’s unopened, and there’s no spillage nearby. They seem to have filled it wrong and then shipped it anyway.

    welcome to my world! this happens quite frequently when i am re-stocking the cooler at the club…it really pisses me off…we used to be able to stock pile these cans and then our soda salesman would give us credit for them…nowadays, a robot calls for our soda order and pepsico, etal could give fuckall for all those cans we’re charged for but not actually receiving any measurable goods for…that’s because pepsico, etal has decided that it’s much, much better business practice to operate solely out of large cities and to runa any remaining plants in small towns (who fucking supported them loyally and fucking exclusively for years) with what could be sceptically called a skeleton crew. so, we sit with ancient equipment that breaks frequently and has to be rigged together cause ‘eh? a local maintenance guy? why, that would be practical for our customers, but would cost us too much money….fuck ‘em!’

    also, too…while i’m on this rant? what the hell canada? when i open a canada dry ginger ale bottle? it should be sufficiently sealed? not either so loose that mini_b, lord chubbington or the little ninja could open them with their tiny baby hands or so fricking tight that pneumatic tools are required…would that be so difficult?!?!?

  178. LittlePig said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:35

    “State laws against bigamy, same-sex marriage, adult incest, prostitution, masturbation, adultery, fornication, bestiality, and obscenity are … called into question by today’s decision,” wrote Justice Antonin Scalia, in a withering dissent he read aloud page by page from the bench.

    Yeah, because those laws have been so gosh-darned successful! I mean, nobody jacks off in Texas.

  179. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:49

    I mean, nobody jacks off in Texas.

    Then what was Rick Perry’s campaign about?

  180. bbkf said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:50

    excited by X-rays,

    who isn’t?!?!?

  181. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:52

    excited by X-rays,

    who isn’t?!?!?

    That’s why the TSA is hoping to close its budget gap by putting titty bars around those scanners.

  182. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 2, 2012 at 22:59

    wrote Justice Antonin Scalia, in a withering dissent

    Does he ever write anything else?

  183. bbkf said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:01

    Which is a pity, because early detection and treatment of breast cancer is a mission that we should all be able to agree on.

    which is why komen shouldn’t have dropped their support, you stupid twunt…no ifs, ands or buts…

  184. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:02

    Somewhere in The Mütter Museum there’s a picture of a guy’s hand. He owned one of the first X-ray machines anyone in his area had ever seen, and he was indeed excited, so he kept X-raying his hand and turned it into a withered blackened set of claws.

  185. bbkf said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:06

    Here’s a free, original Dr BLTune designed to help folks cope with the prospect of another 6 weeks of winter:

    i am coping with the prospect of another 6 weeks of winter just wonderfully, thank you very much…this has been the best fucking goddamn winter of my life!!! we nearly had 60 degrees on the fahrenheit the other day…fuck. yeah!

  186. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:11

    withering dissent

    One of Bronte’s lesser known works

  187. tigris said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:12

    “State laws against bigamy, same-sex marriage, adult incest, prostitution, masturbation, adultery, fornication, bestiality, and obscenity are … called into question by today’s decision,” wrote Justice Antonin Scalia, in a withering dissent he read aloud page by page from the bench.

    Boo fucking hoo. Next time he opens his cake hole he’ll be complaining about the nanny state. Asshole.

  188. N__B said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:15

    There were laws against masturbation? Was the charge self-abuse abuse?

  189. smedley said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:18

    ‘“State laws against bigamy, same-sex marriage, adult incest, prostitution, masturbation, adultery, fornication, bestiality, and obscenity are … called into question by today’s decision,” wrote Justice Antonin Scalia, in a withering dissent he read aloud page by page from the bench.’………..excitedly!

  190. Pupienus said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:20

    I don’t recall that pic of the X-ray withered hand. If you’re ever in Philly, go to the Mutter – fascinating place.

  191. Thread Bear said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:27

    Should Incest Be Legal?

    Hell NO!!!!! It’s just so much more exciting when you feel like you are getting away with it.

  192. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:27

    Next time he opens his cake hole…

    Zombie Ronald Reagan can pull out and bukkake him?

  193. CRA said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:30

    “I don’t recall that pic of the X-ray withered hand. If you’re ever in Philly, go to the Mutter – fascinating place.”

    You guys aren’t selling it too well. What else do they have?

  194. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:31

    What else do they have?

    Hmm…how about a square mural of various replacement eyes and eye-sockets for people who’ve had chunks of their faces removed in various ways?

  195. Pupienus said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:32

    “State laws against bigamy, same-sex marriage, adult incest, prostitution, masturbation, adultery, fornication, bestiality, and obscenity are … called into question by today’s decision,” wrote Justice Antonin Scalia

    Horrors! Perhaps (nonexistent) laws against driving gay teens to kill themselves will also be called into question?

    Sam’s death lit the fuse of a suicide epidemic that would take the lives of nine local students in under two years, a rate so high that child psychologist Dan Reidenberg, executive director of the Minnesota-based Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, declared the Anoka-Hennepin school district the site of a “suicide cluster,” adding that the crisis might hold an element of contagion; suicidal thoughts had become catchy, like a lethal virus. “Here you had a large number of suicides that are really closely connected, all within one school district, in a small amount of time,” explains Reidenberg. “Kids started to feel that the normal response to stress was to take your life.”

    There was another common thread: Four of the nine dead were either gay or perceived as such by other kids, and were reportedly bullied. The tragedies come at a national moment when bullying is on everyone’s lips, and a devastating number of gay teens across the country are in the news for killing themselves. Suicide rates among gay and lesbian kids are frighteningly high, with attempt rates four times that of their straight counterparts; studies show that one-third of all gay youth have attempted suicide at some point (versus 13 percent of hetero kids), and that internalized homophobia contributes to suicide risk.

    Against this supercharged backdrop, the Anoka-Hennepin school district finds itself in the spotlight not only for the sheer number of suicides but because it is accused of having contributed to the death toll by cultivating an extreme anti-gay climate. “LGBTQ students don’t feel safe at school,” says Anoka Middle School for the Arts teacher Jefferson Fietek, using the acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning. “They’re made to feel ashamed of who they are. They’re bullied. And there’s no one to stand up for them, because teachers are afraid of being fired.”

    http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/one-towns-war-on-gay-teens-20120202

  196. jim said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:33

    DON’T BE EVIL (Some Conditions Apply)

  197. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:35

    What else do they have?

    Soap Lady.

    A corpse of a woman which slowly turned into a waxy, soap-like substance. A nine-foot long colon containing 40 pounds of fecal matter.

  198. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:36

    Hell NO!!!!! It’s just so much more exciting when you feel like you are getting away with it.

    I hate to go all alicublog on everyone here, but I am dry-humping this comment to within an inch of its life.

  199. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:37

    Next time he opens his cake hole he’ll be complaining about the nanny state.

    Judging from the looks of him, he might actually be shoving some cake in that cakehole.

  200. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:38

    A nine-foot long colon containing 40 pounds of fecal matter.

    No way. There’s a colon containing Ann Coulter?

  201. Pryme said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:40

    I hate to go all alicublog on everyone here, but I am dry-humping this comment to within an inch of its life.

    The kids call it “grinding.” Like, Duh!

  202. actor212 said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:40

    There’s a colon containing Ann Coulter?

    AND Michelle Malkin, yes.

  203. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:42

    The kids call it “grinding.” Like, Duh!

    I found out I’m the same age as Big Elf today. I’ve thrown childish things like grinding away.

  204. Fenwick the Ruthless, Destroyer of Threads, said,

    February 2, 2012 at 23:53

    Mr Furious and his Boundless Rage (and what a band that would be, eh?)

    Joey(*) thinks that a terrific name, JohnR !!!

    (*) ancient Fenwick joke. It’s a compliment, man.

  205. Pupienus said,

    February 3, 2012 at 0:04

    http://www.collphyphil.org/site/mutter_museum.html

    Right now they have EINSTEIN’S BRAIN!!!! Seriously, a museum of medical oddities? How can you not go?!?!?

  206. Pupienus said,

    February 3, 2012 at 0:06

    Just do a gis on “mutter museum” Trust me, it’s worth doing.

  207. actor212 said,

    February 3, 2012 at 0:07

    Right now they have EINSTEIN’S BRAIN!!!!

    I thought the guy who stole that lost it? Or gave it back to Princeton. It was never clear.

  208. CRA said,

    February 3, 2012 at 0:09

    Front page of their website:

    “Guess What’s on the Curator’s Desk?”

    [Raises hand excitedly]: “Einstein’s Brain?”

  209. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 3, 2012 at 0:19

    But have they kept it alive?

  210. Just Alison in a red velvet hat said,

    February 3, 2012 at 0:23

    Jeffraham Prestonian said,
    February 2, 2012 at 19:05

    Awwww. Thank you, JP.

    And viz the museum theme, read recently about why archaeologists can’t analyse Cleopatra’s mummy to see what she looked like. Turns out that, although the French government returned a lot of Egyptian treasures after Napoleon nicked ‘em, they kept her coffin. It was discovered in the 40′s, at which time, and I quote, “French workers emptied the coffin into the sewers”. A sad end for one of the most influential women in history.

  211. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 0:24

    great…now my next vacation is a toss-up:

    follow the lewis and clark trail
    or
    mutter museum

    hmmmmm…well, hubbkf is ALOT like william clark, so living with him is pretty much achieving my heart’s desire…okay, so not really a hard decision after all!

  212. Fenwick the Ruthless, Destroyer of Threads, said,

    February 3, 2012 at 0:26

    Ever been in a bottling plant?

    I worked in one. Brutal.

  213. Just Alison in a red velvet hat said,

    February 3, 2012 at 0:28

    CRA said,
    February 2, 2012 at 19:11

    “The British often drew [Napoleon] as diminutive, which is where we get the idea that he was short.”

    So far we’ve restressed that Frankenstein’s monster was not stupid, and Napoleon was not short. Perhaps someone can reach for a trifecta.

    Ooh, ooh, ooh! (hand furiously waving). I’ve got one, and it’s about Cleo again – apparently she wasn’t the great beauty that current mythology insists. Well, not unless you consider rolls of neck fat, a hooked nose, and a pointy chin to be beautiful, and I’m sure there are some who do and good luck to them.

    But she was intelligent and educated and witty, which is why she was able to enchant two of the most powerful men around at the time. Just goes to show how standards have declined, eh? Now powerful men want women as dessicated as Cleo’s mummy with a head full of air and no opinions.

  214. CRA said,

    February 3, 2012 at 0:39

    Well, Alison, for what’s is worth, you win the trifecta.

    I hated having to deny Aron’s bid on his first day here. There was alot of nautical baby-talk upthread but I held firm. Also another bid that I sorta forgot about. That one was probably good, too.

    “But have they kept [Einstein's brain] alive?”

    It still gets up to “E=M”, so an alive schmalive to you, sir or madam.

  215. Fenwick said,

    February 3, 2012 at 0:53

    ((Also yet another Fenwick Nymfail above. Sheesh.))

    Doc BLT: Number One with a Bullet. (compliment from ancient radioland)

  216. DAS said,

    February 3, 2012 at 1:11

    controversial practice of granting U.S. citizenship to every baby born on our soil

    Well, the 13-15th amendments are controversial if you think the South should have won the civil war, that slavery was not such a bad deal, etc. IOW, they are controversial to today’s reactionary GOoPers.

    But given GOoPer projection and “even the liberal” media’s echoing of GOoPer talking points as “the way salt of the earth ‘murkins think” (and their condescension to said folk is how we know the media are “liberal” and how “we know all liberals are just like the media wankers”), of course, well all know that “Democrats are the real racists”. Why? “Because … Al Sharpton … Sen. Byrd …” …

  217. Fenwick said,

    February 3, 2012 at 1:39

    runa any remaining plants in small towns (who fucking supported them loyally and fucking exclusively for years) with what could be sceptically called a skeleton crew.

    The plant where I worked was in Independence, Kansas, local / regional distributor. It was a-true bottling plant: All the containers were glass [40 years ago]. As the new guy on the crew, I had the shittiest jobs. The worst was loading empty glass bottles into the ravenous maw of the soaper. (I wanted to drive around on the forklift, but they wisely wouldn’t trust me: A pallet with filled glass bottles makes a spectacular mess when it falls from the third tier…. )

    Within a few months, a got my first job at the radio station. During the OJT learning period, I worked mornings at the plant, and afternoons at the station. After I got my license(*), I quit the plant and worked full time at the station.

    (*) Radio-Telephone Operator 3rd Class, endorsed for broadcast. The license allowed me to operate the station without the station engineer, who was also the boss. (And my duplicate bridge partner. Does anyone still play bridge? My favorite card game evah!)

    Gee, this comment got out of hand, didn’t it? I blame Hitler-Stalin-Alinsky !!!

    I don’t think I’ll ever ketchup the thread.

  218. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 2:03

    It was a-true bottling plant

    yeah…ours was a bottling plant as well…my brothers both had the sucky job of cleaning bottles and canisters…that place kept a lot of families fed through the years…it’s sooooo disheartening to see big corporations totally fuck over the little guy…sigh…

    anyhoo, you asked about my daughter and her cancer…she was right around 21 (we celebrated her 21st not knowing what was wrong with her) when i discovered a large lump on her ribcage…luckily she is how she is and never had any qualms about me walking in on her in the bathroom otherwise it wouldn’t have been noticed until it was too late…anyhoo, it turned out to be a chondrosarcoma which is a type of bone cancer…cure rate and prognosis pretty darn good considering. she had surgery that removed part of 5 ribs and part of her chest wall…she now has a kevlar patch in that area…actually going back for the skin grafting was hardest on her. but again, we were lucky to have dr. claire-marie buckley as her surgeon…she was amazing…and funny…

    in light of my dad, one of his sisters and a grandmother dying from cancer, we really worked hard to keep the ‘c’ word off the table in front of her. how we got by with taking her to a building clearly marked ‘masonic cancer center’ without her catching on is beyond me…i think she suspected but out of self-preservation didn’t let herself think it…we did good until the day before her surgery when one of her surgeons blurted it out…we WERE going to tell her afterwards, but it seemed best to let her just think she had a lump that just had to be taken out and checked…

    she was a trouper through it all…her motto was ‘well if i have to, i have to’ although the morning of surgery she was bawling and asked, ‘oh, why did this cancer come to me?’ the hardest part was keeping it all together…hubbkf would break down in tears at the drop of a hat, my mom the self-involved hypochondriac was absolutely NO help and my drama queen son was pretty sure he had something as well (poor boy, he really needed some extra attention during all this and it was sometimes hard to make that happen logistically) ahh…good times…i did break down though when she came out of the medically induced coma they had her in for a day…she just screamed in pain coming out of it…which made me cry…and then just the relief that it was over really made the waterworks flow…and then a stupid bitchy nurse was all like, ‘gee mom, you should be happy that she’s fine.’

    all in all the care at the u of m was outstanding and her surgical team of lead surgeon, the gorgeous dr. michael maddaus, super-smart dr. david polly, reconstructive surgeon dr. claire-marie buckley and dr. denis clohisy was the best…but we owe the biggest debt of gratitude to our two small town docs…the one who didn’t poo-poo my fears of my 20 year old daughter having a cancerous tumor and the one who actually checked her out…he’s from thailand and pretty much knew right away what it was…he didn’t even biopsy because he knew if he popped the tumor, she would be screwed. since he’s not allowed to perform such surgeries in the u.s. (for some reason he’s not *licensed* enough to perform surgery here or something) he referred us on to the u of m, more specifically the masonic cancer center…

    so that’s the deal…hope i answered all your ?s…it’s been six years and she’s got some honking big scars, but she’s still here :)

  219. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 3, 2012 at 2:14

    Awwww. Thank you, JP.

    Pimpin’ cats ain’t easy… but it’s what I do. ;)

    Also, in honor of a supposed weekend event coming up…
    .

  220. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 3, 2012 at 2:25

    Via Boing Boing…

    Helmburg claims – in a statement it would be difficult to deny – that “firing bottle rockets out of one’s own anus constitutes an ‘ultra-hazardous’ activity,” which exposes both defendants to strict liability.

  221. tsam said,

    February 3, 2012 at 2:31

    Is working in a brothel the same as working in a bottling plant? I would guess not. I’m pretty sure being a customer of each is quite different.

  222. El Manquécito said,

    February 3, 2012 at 2:47

    I’m pretty sure, after sufficient experimentation, that there is nothing you can do with a bottle rocket that is “ultra-hazardous”.

    “Ultra-hazardous” involves chain-saws, fishing boats or coal mines.

  223. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 3, 2012 at 2:51

    I’m pretty sure, after sufficient experimentation, that there is nothing you can do with a bottle rocket that is “ultra-hazardous”.

    Setting one off in a just-drained 5M gallon gasoline storage tank might qualify.
    .

  224. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 2:51

    I (briefly) worked in a plant that bottled motor oil and other petroleum products like brake fluid and anti-freeze.

    This was in 1992, after I left the active-duty Air Force. I worked as an assistant plant engineer, which meant I helped build the bottling lines. I made $8/hour with no benefits and I was happy to have that because I’d been unemployed for 6 months.

  225. Smut Clyde said,

    February 3, 2012 at 2:54

    “firing bottle rockets out of one’s own anus constitutes an ‘ultra-hazardous’ activity

    This is why we can’t have nice things.

  226. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 3, 2012 at 2:55

    This is why we can’t have nice things.

    I was somewhat astonished to learn that Huntington, WV now has building codes.
    .

  227. Pupienus said,

    February 3, 2012 at 2:57

    Don’t fuck with the Decemberists!.

  228. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 3, 2012 at 2:58

    (And my duplicate bridge partner. Does anyone still play bridge? My favorite card game evah!)

    I occasionally play. My mom is a killer bridge player- she took a bunch of my brother Vincenzo’s army buddies to the cleaners in a game of spades.

  229. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 3:02

    I was somewhat astonished to learn that Huntington, WV now has building codes.

    I lay over in Huntington occasionally. Not a bad little downtown actually.

  230. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 3:04

    I’m pretty sure, after sufficient experimentation, that there is nothing you can do with a bottle rocket that is “ultra-hazardous”.

    I once put a whole bunch of them together and made a miniature Katyusha.

  231. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 3, 2012 at 3:04

    I lay over in Huntington occasionally. Not a bad little downtown actually.

    It’s where I learned to drink. I grew up across and down the river a bit in Ashland, KY.
    .

  232. Fenwick said,

    February 3, 2012 at 3:23

    dear bbfk: Thank you. I marvel at your steadiness, patience, and complete love (especially given your own medical difficulties). I’m sure the special parenting and love from her earliest childhood helped her cope with major surgeries and long and doubtlessly painful recovery.

    From your S,N writing, your daughter sounds like a wonderful person. And you and hubbfk are wonderful parents for her. (I try to read between the lines of what you write at S,N.)

    Keep us posted about hubbfk, okay?

    —————-
    Lewis & Clarke vacation: Mos Def ! In your current ‘limbo’, it might help if you (plural) have some fun planning it together–or re-visitng your plans … to focus on good outcomes and something to look forward to together: Special Vacation planning as an antidote to worry and apprehension.

  233. tigris said,

    February 3, 2012 at 3:33

    I’m pretty sure, after sufficient experimentation, that there is nothing you can do with a bottle rocket that is “ultra-hazardous”.

    I once put a whole bunch of them together and made a miniature Katyusha.

    Shooting those out your ass might be pretty dang hazardous.

  234. Fenwick said,

    February 3, 2012 at 3:33

    a miniature Katyusha.

    Were you able to work out some sort of simultaneous-firing mechanism?

  235. Fenwick said,

    February 3, 2012 at 3:44

    bbfk: So much more I wanted to say. so Shorter: You are one of my favoritist commentators. And you the cutest tagfails evah!

  236. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 3, 2012 at 3:47

    Setting one off in a just-drained 5M gallon gasoline storage tank might qualify.

    How about anus d00d just has a lotta beans before bottle rocket insertion.

  237. John Revolta said,

    February 3, 2012 at 3:50

    I used to drive a forklift in a brothel for a few months.

    It was better than cleaning out the empties.

  238. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 4:05

    Lewis & Clarke vacation: Mos Def ! In your current ‘limbo’, it might help if you (plural) have some fun planning it together–or re-visitng your plans … to focus on good outcomes and something to look forward to together: Special Vacation planning as an antidote to worry and apprehension.

    this is something i want to do and now would be a good time…the only thing holding me back is that while i adore william clark and chuckle at his quirks, those same quirks in hubbkf tend to spark some marital discord…

  239. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 3, 2012 at 4:06

    Bottle Rocket.

  240. El Manquécito said,

    February 3, 2012 at 4:06

    Shooting those out your ass might be pretty dang hazardous.

    If some Hamas hothead made this happen it might go viral. Some ardent kaffiyeh head shooting a katushya out of his butt at the ‘settlements’ would show some forward looking multi-media awareness. There must be an arabic pun around ‘assrocket’ that would serve.

  241. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 4:11

    and fencwick, thank you for your very, very kind words…parenting in the best of circumstances is a series of challenges…(sorry, all you new parents out there…it’s the truth)…like most normal parents, we worried that we had visited irreparable damage upon them…safe to say now, we didn’t raise any serial killers or psychos (knock on wood) and neither have needed any therapy. they both work, one goes to school and they both have healthy interests, are empathetic, a bit cynical and are well recieved by their peers…so, i guess we didn’t screw them up too badly…

  242. rodert rudis said,

    February 3, 2012 at 4:21

    So Iris wants to know why I would spend so much time reading a site called Sadly, No! You see, Iris translates everything very literally, just as we all do or did when studying a second language. Iris wants to know why I spend so much time at a sad place. I try to explain to her that it acutally isn’t a sad place but a happy place. She asks, very cleverly, then why aren’t I always laughing and sharing the funny jokes with her. I dig the hole deeper by explaining that what makes the funny stuff so funny is how it’s set against things that aren’t so funny. Contrast, for laughs. She just nods at this explanation and says, okay, I won’t fix dinner tonight and after that I’ll tell you a funny joke so you will laugh really hard…… I just can’t win, can I? Sadly, No!

  243. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 4:27

    Were you able to work out some sort of simultaneous-firing mechanism?

    I just twisted the fuses together. They went off pretty close to one another. The real thing doesn’t fire completely simultaneously either.

  244. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 4:31

    have y’all ever noticed how sometimes reading this site is reminscent of grade school? it’s delightful…

  245. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 3, 2012 at 4:36

    The real thing doesn’t fire completely simultaneously either.

    Yuh-huh!

    [/grade school]
    .

  246. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 4:41

    you asked about my daughter and her cancer…she was right around 21

    Still trying to wrap my brain around this and not having much luck.

  247. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 3, 2012 at 4:48

    I once put a whole bunch of them together and made a miniature Katyusha.

    Me and my cousins would set them on the highway, light the fuses, then jump in the car and drive to try to end up in the middle of the explosion.

  248. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 4:54

    Happy Ayn Rand’s birthday everybody.

    (ducks)

  249. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 5:00

    Still trying to wrap my brain around this and not having much luck.

    tell me about it…

    dear oncology monthly,

    i never thought this would happen to me…

  250. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 3, 2012 at 5:13

    Coming soon to a theater near you – Plan 9 From Galt’s Gulch: http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2012/02/02/lames-trains-and-autodidacts/

  251. John Revolta said,

    February 3, 2012 at 5:34

    Right now they have EINSTEIN’S BRAIN!!!!

    You know who ELSE”S brain they have???

  252. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 5:52

    Coming soon to a theater near you – Plan 9 From Galt’s Gulch: http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2012/02/02/lames-trains-and-autodidacts/

    classic…

  253. John Revolta said,

    February 3, 2012 at 6:07

    Plan 9 From Galt’s Gulch:

    Oooooooooo. This looks good.

    If it’s as good as I’m hoping, it could even be the final stake in this twat’s undead corpse.

  254. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 3, 2012 at 6:16

    She just nods at this explanation and says, okay, I won’t fix dinner tonight and after that I’ll tell you a funny joke so you will laugh really hard…… I just can’t win, can I? Sadly, No!

    By george, I think she’s got it!
    ~

  255. John Revolta said,

    February 3, 2012 at 8:15

    OMG is this for real, you ask? Sadly, or hilariously maybe, yes.

    The people that don’t want to be associated with those babykillers at Plannned Parenthood are proud to offer you the Walther P-22 Hope Edition limited edition pistol.

    It’s stunning, to say the least.

    Act now!!

  256. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 8:32

    OMG is this for real, you ask? Sadly, or hilariously maybe, yes.

    oh, my aching ass! how are they going to spin this? probably something along the lines of ‘guns don’t kill people…PLANNED PARENTHOOD KILLS BABIES@!!!!11!’

  257. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 8:34

    also, too…i don’t think i can say it enough…i love stephen colbert…sorry john stewart, william clark and hubbkf…but, man…it’s stephen colbert!

  258. Fenwick said,

    February 3, 2012 at 9:02

    it’s stephen colbert!

    Colbert roolz.

  259. Smut Clyde said,

    February 3, 2012 at 9:12

    then why aren’t I always laughing and sharing the funny jokes with her.
    Start with one of the fish pun threads. They’ll translate well.

    the Walther P-22 Hope Edition limited edition pistol.
    You know WHO ELSE killed himself with a Walther?*

    * I know, I know, that was a PPK.

  260. Smut Clyde said,

    February 3, 2012 at 9:27

    You know who ELSE”S brain they have???
    Now look what John Revolta made me upload.

  261. acrannymint said,

    February 3, 2012 at 13:26

    Cerberus,
    Bruce Schneier fan?

  262. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 3, 2012 at 13:47

    Ever been in a bottling plant?

    I worked in one. Brutal.

    Agreed! Worked at a micro brew. Had the pleasure of enjoying what it is like to have the top of an oak barrel blow up in my lap, Also too, my first goring.

    A 400 case run with a machine that fills six at a time while working with a lazy idiot with execrable taste in music…

    Thanks Fen, for inspiring this particular trip down memory lane. If one could earn a medal for not murdering, I think I have to be on the shortlist.
    .

  263. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 3, 2012 at 13:51

    follow the[...]and clark trail

    This. It is what you should do next.

    Save the Mutter for the next time.
    :)
    .

  264. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 3, 2012 at 14:00

    Happy Ayn Rand’s birthday everybody.

    (ducks)

    I celebrated by driving by a poor person and yelling out the window, “I’D HELP YOU, BUT THAT WOULD BE IMMORAL!”

    Bottle Rocket.

    I love that movie.

  265. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 3, 2012 at 14:00

    Me and my cousins would set them on the highway, light the fuses, then jump in the car and drive to try to end up in the middle of the explosion.

    :O

  266. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 3, 2012 at 14:06

    Well, the 13-15th amendments are controversial if you think the South should have won the civil war, that slavery was not such a bad deal, etc. IOW, they are controversial to today’s reactionary GOoPers.

    Well put, DAS.

    I like the following formulation (started by I remember not who at Balloon Juice) regarding the GOP: The Confederate Party. However that only accounts for about 3/4ths of the constituency with the god botherers and racists falling into this category. The last quarter would be accurately described as American Torries, a group whose loathing for democracy, was in the past, only masked by expensive PR campaigns. After the acquisition of the entire media landscape, the PR campaigns have become revenue neutral, and hell who knows, might even turn a profit

    Ouroboros: About to taste Adam’s apple.

    .

  267. Provider_UNE™LikeAttillaGhengisHannibal_SteepedInSunTzu&Machiavelli_A_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 3, 2012 at 14:22

    She just nods at this explanation and says, okay, I won’t fix dinner tonight and after that I’ll tell you a funny joke so you will laugh really hard…… I just can’t win, can I? Sadly, No!

    Grins for this. It’s all I got. Love your stories Rodert…

    bbkf: Hugs and kisses from the SouthEasterly Uplands!
    .

  268. Provider_UNE™Howard_Roark's_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 3, 2012 at 14:24

    Happy Ayn Rand’s birthday everybody.

    (ducks)

    I celebrated by driving by a poor person and yelling out the window, “I’D HELP YOU, BUT THAT WOULD BE IMMORAL!”

    How you doing?!? ;)
    .

  269. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 14:31

    the Walther P-22 Hope Edition limited edition pistol

    OK, I like guns, but that is one damn ugly gun. Not to mention the whole idea being repulsive.

  270. Provider_UNE™Howard_Roark's_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 3, 2012 at 14:33

    From Revolta’s link:

    Discount Gun Sales is proud to team up with the Susan B.
    Koman Foundation to offer the Walther P-22 Hope Edition in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. A portion of each P-22 Hope Edition will be donated to the Seattle Branch of the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
    The P-22 Hope Edition has an exclusive DuraCoat Pink slide in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness month. Utilizing the same reliable controls and firing mechanism that has made the Walther P-22 America’s top selling handgun, the Hope Edition will be a limited production pistol offered exclusively through Discount Gun Sales.

    Words fail! My gob has teleported to another universe for fear of being forever smacked. If there was ever a posterchild for the suspicion that Komen was more about making money for the administrators than actually finding a cure (and there were plenty) in other words a grift, then this has to take the fucking cake.

    Pikers, Shitheels, and Weasels all.
    .

  271. Chris said,

    February 3, 2012 at 15:29

    I celebrated by driving by a poor person and yelling out the window, “I’D HELP YOU, BUT THAT WOULD BE IMMORAL!”

    I’d wish her a happy birthday, but that would be immoral.

  272. vacuumslayer said,

    February 3, 2012 at 15:35

    the Walther P-22 Hope Edition limited edition pistol

    How pro-life.

  273. Provider_UNE™Howard_Roark's_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 3, 2012 at 15:57

    How pro-life.

    Funny that. Seems like they really are only concerned with the cargo. They should be called Pro-Pre-born Lifers, ’cause once that kid enters the world they couldn’t give a damn./currently fuming
    .

  274. vacuumslayer said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:03

    That can’t be said often enuff.

  275. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:19

    This is beyond brilliant. This takes brilliant, shoves it to the ground and kicks it in the head.

  276. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:28

    Also, enough with the pink shit. I happen to love the color pink. A lot of women don’t. So quit automatically associating pink with women/girls. It’s fucking irritating.

  277. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:30

    I happen to love the color pink

    I like it on ’59 Cadillacs, otherwise not so much.

  278. kg said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:30

    Thanks for the daily show link, vs. That made my morning.

  279. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:38

    the Walther P-22 Hope Edition limited edition pistol

    Who are you guys trying to kid? the suitable application of one of these can kill even the toughest tumors dead. Why just one or two* pulls of the trigger and cancer is the least of your problems.

    *given that it’s a .22 LR sometimes three or four pulls will be necessary*

  280. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:40

    Also I’m waiting for the Susan Komen foundation and RJ Reynolds tobacco to offer pink Marlboro lights. Smooth flavor and cancer research together at last!

  281. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:42

    I shot the 9mm version of the Walther once. Didn’t like it.

    Actually I don’t like any of the “combat tupperware” plastic framed handguns (Glocks etc). I know they’re supposed to be better but they don’t feel right to me.
    Just call me old fashioned.

  282. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:45

    Thanks for the daily show link, vs. That made my morning.

    even hubbkf thoroughly enjoyed watching this one last night…political humor is not his cup o’ tea…but watching these two goomba’s get schooled was too awesome for him to resist…

    i will now admit that i pulled a komen and bowed to previous stewart bashing and did not include him in my prior colbert declaration of adoration…but dammit, i will! both shows last night were beyond kicked in the head brilliant…and if i still had a uterus, i would bear jon stewart’s children gladly…

  283. Pryme said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:47

    I happen to love the color pink.

    Aerosmith agrees with you.

  284. CRA said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:52

    “A 400 case run with a machine that fills six at a time while working with a lazy idiot with execrable taste in music…”

    The latter part is a mandatory American workplace experience. My brother recounts painting a house with a gentleman who’d just keep flipping a cassette of Ted Nugent’s Cat Scratch Fever album.

    Worse still: the boss who insists on blaring the whole Rush Limbaugh show every time it airs. I have endured two workplaces like that. Twas a good long time ago, but I’ll never forgive the bitter stumpy twit that was responsible for most of it. (I was doing newspaper layout and pasteup for his evil misfit family.) The second lazy idiot was in charge of a university post office after 30+ years there. (The bosom of the state nourishes some peculiarly gormless and vocal wingnuts.)

    On the plus side, wingnuts cannot claim that I’m criticizing something I’m unfamiliar with (the Rush show). Some of em think it takes more than a taste to get the drift.

  285. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:57

    Also, enough with the pink shit. I happen to love the color pink. A lot of women don’t. So quit automatically associating pink with women/girls. It’s fucking irritating.

    agreed…pink is the daughter’s favorite color by far…and if it’s pink leopard print? omg…get out of the way! anyhow, the love of pink has rubbed off on me, but yeah…they’ve gone overboard…surprise, surprise!

    anyhoo, your comment and my last comment set me to wondering about things that are foisted off as ‘wimmens things’…where/when/why did the use of the saying, ‘ i would bear his children’ come from?

    i know it’s mostly used as an indication of wanting to get with a hot d00d, but why not just say that? i suppose because it was naughty…which reminds me of this which i must have…

    i have a feeling i know what my next blog post is going to be…

  286. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 16:59

    (I was doing newspaper layout and pasteup for his evil misfit family.)

    you worked for the ‘hooterville independent’?!?!? or are newspaper families all evil and misfitty?

  287. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:02

    wow, wp get’s a little snippy in the morning…i was just sitting here with my cursor in the comment box and all of a sudden wp is like ‘PLEASE WRITE A COMMENT” in its scolding red type…fine! i will then…

  288. CRA said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:06

    “you worked for the ‘hooterville independent’?!?!? or are newspaper families all evil and misfitty?”

    We now have two anecdotes suggesting they are, and it’s only 9 AM here.

  289. actor212 said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:13

    Plan 9 From Galt’s Gulch

    I actually have Part 1 on my Netflix queue

  290. actor212 said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:15

    where/when/why did the use of the saying, ‘ i would bear his children’ come from?

    And why doesn’t it mean “Toss them in front of a raging ursine beast”?

  291. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:21

    I like the following formulation (started by I remember not who at Balloon Juice) regarding the GOP: The Confederate Party. However that only accounts for about 3/4ths of the constituency with the god botherers and racists falling into this category. The last quarter would be accurately described as American Torries, a group whose loathing for democracy, was in the past, only masked by expensive PR campaigns. After the acquisition of the entire media landscape, the PR campaigns have become revenue neutral, and hell who knows, might even turn a profit.

    Come to think of it, weren’t the British actually on the hook to back the Confederates back in the day, which is why the Union’s navy had to blockade a bunch of the South?

    In that sense, the neo-Confederates being backed by a bunch of Tories is accurate.

  292. N__B said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:27

    Just call me old fashioned.

    You want a pink tommy-gun?

  293. actor212 said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:28

    Come to think of it, weren’t the British actually on the hook to back the Confederates back in the day, which is why the Union’s navy had to blockade a bunch of the South?

    Cotton trade was lucrative for the Brits, since they no longer allowed slavery in their empire (nominally).

  294. Provider_UNE™Howard_Roark's_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:29

    Thanks for the daily show link, vs. That made my morning.

    Effin aye!!!
    .

  295. Provider_UNE™Howard_Roark's_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:34

    …i will now admit that i pulled a komen and bowed to previous stewart bashing…

    Hon, that is not pulling a Komen at all. Stewart deserves contempt when he traipses into territory for which he clearly has blinders…He’s done plenty in the past to normalize the “both sides do it ” bullshit, as well as using kid gloves with his occasionally reprehensible guests. That said, when he’s in his wheelhouse he can be fucking brilliant.
    .

  296. Provider_UNE™Howard_Roark's_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:37

    Worse still: the boss who insists on blaring the whole Rush Limbaugh show every time it airs. I have endured two workplaces like that.

    Dude, I’ll trade the lazy idiot (Queensryche tattoo) and a malfunctioning bottle filling line, every day of the year, rather than spend fifteen minutes in the hellscape you describe. While never one to suffer fools kindly, I’ll take a lazy idiot over the ratfucking heartless moron anyday.
    .

  297. actor212 said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:37

    Just call me old fashioned.

    You want a pink tommy-gun?

    Wanna borrow mine, bbkf?

  298. actor212 said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:39

    Smooth flavor and cancer research together at last!

    Two words: NECCO Wafers

  299. kg said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:42

    Hey! There was a time when I really liked “Rage for Order”

  300. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:47

    You want a pink tommy-gun?

    Actually my favorite handgun is my replica Colt Peacemaker. If it was good enough for Wyatt Earp it’s good enough for me.

  301. CRA said,

    February 3, 2012 at 17:50

    But you didn’t like it enough to get a tattoo, now did you, kg?

    Provider’s right about what’s preferable. By some accounts I’M probably the lazy idiot coworker with poor taste in music. But the Rush-scapes were really brutal at those volumes.

  302. N__B said,

    February 3, 2012 at 18:03

    If it was good enough for Wyatt Earp it’s good enough for me.

    In the novel Little Big Man (don’t remember if it was in the movie), the hero thinks “Earp” sounds like back flow, which leads to the line of dialog “Draw, you goddamned belch.”

  303. Thread Bear said,

    February 3, 2012 at 18:13

    Happy Ayn Rand’s birthday everybody.

    I been Norman Mailered, Maxwell Taylored
    I been John O’Hara’d, McNamara’d
    I’ve been Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I’m blind
    I’ve been Ayn Randed, nearly branded
    A communist ’cause I’m left handed
    That’s the hand to use… well never mind.

  304. kg said,

    February 3, 2012 at 18:14

    You’re right, of course. You should check out my Dokken tattoo, though. Its fricken sweet.

    http://www.tattooartists.org/Img52168_Dokken_again_.asp

  305. Thread Bear said,

    February 3, 2012 at 18:21

    I’m pretty sure, after sufficient experimentation, that there is nothing you can do with a bottle rocket that is “ultra-hazardous”.

    Back many years ago in high school, a friend of my brother had an old beater car that he customized with a small pvc pipe that went from the glove compartment out through the front grill. It was intended for the launching of bottle rockets. It worked pretty well when the car was stopped or moving slowly, but they were very dissapointed in the performance when the car was moving at any appreciable rate of speed. There was also a small problem of smoke buildup insdie the car if they tried multiple launches.

  306. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 3, 2012 at 18:22

    Ever been in a bottling plant?

    I worked in one. Brutal.

    Oh, I know. My last trade-mag job required me to tour food and beverage plants regularly (until Fuckwad Publishing Co. bought the place and “adjusted” the travel budget to zero). I used to say a little prayer of thanks every time that it wasn’t me out on that floor.

    The worst I ever saw was in the main Heinz ketchup plant. There were people whose jobs consisted of sitting at the tail of the filler/labeler and eyeballing every one of the ketchup bottles that emerged to make sure the labels weren’t askew or wrinkled. For eight fucking hours every shift. I would have gone stark raving mad after 15 minutes.

    (To be fair, the day I visited, Heinz was beta-testing a label scanner. This was years ago, and I’m sure that function has been fully automated by now. Thank God.)

  307. Prince of Pieces said,

    February 3, 2012 at 18:23

    Why not make citizenship something we can re-up for every year, like our so-called “benefits”? Then we could pick a nationality we like, like “Norwegian” or “New Zealander” and our home country could pony up our 35% taxes to our sovereign-state-du-jour, and would be required to dispense benefits (and refrain from invading other countries) accordingly? What’s not to love? Free Marketttzz Rulzzzzz!!!!111!!

  308. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 18:39

    In the novel Little Big Man (don’t remember if it was in the movie), the hero thinks “Earp” sounds like back flow, which leads to the line of dialog “Draw, you goddamned belch.”

    one of the best novels ever written and an equally good movie adaptation…and yes, i believe this line is in the movie…

  309. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 18:55

    I’ll take a lazy idiot over the ratfucking heartless moron anyday.

    me too…i’ve posted before about when i first started in radio and was forced to record and replay rushbo…every weekday…three hours a day…plus, there were times where i would have to listen and re-listen to the taped broadcast to find the times where certain items played or to catch blank tape when it was sunspot season…ehhhhh…i cringe at even the thought of having to listen to him…

  310. Anonymous said,

    February 3, 2012 at 18:56

    So quit automatically associating pink with women/girls. It’s fucking irritating.

    If Wikipedia is to be believed, for a long time pink was the boys’ color, because it was light red and red is MANLY.

    As for me, I like it in rather limited doses, and in naturally-occurring forms (sunsets, flowers, little pink piglets).

  311. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 18:57

    That said, when he’s in his wheelhouse he can be fucking brilliant.

    indeed…now i must get to work…i have donor visits and our gala affair is right around the corner and many details need to be firmed up…this year, we are having this dude!

  312. Provider_UNE™Howard_Roark's_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:01

    we are having this dude!

    Wow!

  313. actor212 said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:01

    If Wikipedia is to be believed, for a long time pink was the boys’ color, because it was light red and red is MANLY.

    Well, it wasn’t until the 16th century that the word “girl” actually only referred to a young female. Prior to that, it was generic for any child.

  314. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:06

    Wow!

    i KNOW! i’m pretty excited…and i get giddy when we exchange emails…i will probably be a slobbering mass when i meet him…

  315. Provider_UNE™Howard_Roark's_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:10

    i KNOW! i’m pretty excited…and i get giddy when we exchange emails…i will probably be a slobbering mass when i meet him…

    How are you planning to decorate the drool bucket.
    .

  316. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:10

    one of the best novels ever written and an equally good movie adaptation

    I always thought Thomas Berger was way underrated. “Little Big Man” is a fine novel but it’s not even his best, IMHO.

  317. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:11

    Fortunately I’m not forced to listen to Rush. Unfortunately at least 3 of the TV monitors scattered around Flight Ops will be tuned to Fox on any given night.

  318. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:11

    i first started in radio and was forced to record and replay rushbo…every weekday…three hours a day

    Oh you poor thing. (I missed those earlier posts.) How have you stayed sane?

  319. Marion in Savannah said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:12

    Oh, sweet, sweet baby Jesus on a pogo stick… What will they think of next?

  320. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:13

    How are you planning to decorate the drool bucket.

    lotsa glitter!

    I always thought Thomas Berger was way underrated. “Little Big Man” is a fine novel but it’s not even his best, IMHO.

    hmmm…must add to my reading list…

    How have you stayed sane?

    leaving the radio biz (well, mostly) and copious amounts of alcohol…

  321. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:15

    Oh, sweet, sweet baby Jesus on a pogo stick… What will they think of next?

    ZOMG…THAT CANNOT BE FOR REALZ?!?!?!

  322. Pryme said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:19

    Oh, sweet, sweet baby Jesus on a pogo stick… What will they think of next?

    ZOMG…THAT CANNOT BE FOR REALZ?!?!?!

    Gosh dangit…some of us may not be able to lick-cay because or ork-way. Is it NSFW or what?

  323. Marion in Savannah said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:21

    Pryme, I’d suggest not clicking at work… Unless your company is a huge supporter of “Christian pr0n.”

  324. Fenwick said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:24

    While wandering around, I found some Stepford lady named Nancy Brinker explaining why her org Komen dropped PP. The needle on the Bullshit Detector was flickin’ all over the place.

  325. kg said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:27

    💩

  326. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:28

    Pryme, I’d suggest not clicking at work… Unless your company is a huge supporter of “Christian pr0n.”

    i, of course, discovered this too late…oh, well…it won’t be the first time i’ve been looked askance by the it dept…

  327. kg said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:29

    for some reason it wasn’t blocked here. hmmm

  328. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:32

    Oh, sweet, sweet baby Jesus on a pogo stick… What will they think of next?

    I think that just ruined pr0n for me for life.

  329. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:32

    for some reason it wasn’t blocked here. hmmm

    is that not the ?????? (words fail me) thing you have seen in recent days?

  330. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:33

    I think that just ruined pr0n for me for life.

    ho! maybe that is their intent? but they gotta know that their is some sick mothertrucker out there getting off on it…ewwwwww…i may have just ruined a lot of things for me…

  331. kg said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:33

    actually i closed it quickly. I’ll thoroughly “investigate” and let you know later.

  332. kg said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:35

    Komen Kaves!

  333. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:43

    I always thought Thomas Berger was way underrated. “Little Big Man” is a fine novel but it’s not even his best, IMHO.

    hmmm…must add to my reading list…

    May I suggest “The Feud,” “Sneaky People” or “Meeting Evil.” All highly readable (and much shorter than LBM).

  334. N__B said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:50

    May I suggest “The Feud,” “Sneaky People” or “Meeting Evil.” All highly readable (and much shorter than LBM).

    Arthur Rex!

  335. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:51

    thanks for all the suggestions…i will be hot-footing it down to the liberry…

  336. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:52

    where/when/why did the use of the saying, ‘ i would bear his children’ come from?

    It’s hard to imagine the kind of poor taste usage that might have preceded it, but I remember it as Lola Heatherton’s tag line.

  337. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:53

    But I imagine this as the place it sprang from…

  338. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:56

    dammit…sub…i am too chicken to clicky…

  339. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:57

    but they gotta know that their is some sick mothertrucker out there getting off on it

    You can pick any item out of the Sears catalog and there’s somebody out there getting off on it.

  340. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 3, 2012 at 19:59

    dammit…sub…i am too chicken to clicky…

    Oh come on. I have this inkling that you’ve done a lot of shit that makes me quake in my boots.

  341. vacuumslayer said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:00

    I believe it was I brought up Christian pr0n a few threads back.

    I am awesome.

  342. vacuumslayer said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:01

    My grammar/typing notsomuch…

  343. jim said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:02

    Ever been in a bottling plant?

    I worked in one. Brutal.

    I worked in a warehouse doing recycling, which is what happens at the other end.
    By an amusing coincidence, that too is brutal.

    What will they think of next?

    Aww! That’s so 90s!

    If you are one of those intrepid merchants of filth who opts to be a purveyor of Teh P0rnz0rz on these glorious magickal Interwebs, & your home page is completely devoid of nudity …
    YOU ARE DOING IT AS WRONG AS IT CAN BE DONE.

  344. Thread Bear said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:09

    where/when/why did the use of the saying, ‘ i would bear his children’ come from?

    I believe it was Sandusky who first said “I would bare his children.”

    Sick poll: On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky, how much do you love children?

  345. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:09

    Oh come on. I have this inkling that you’ve done a lot of shit that makes me quake in my boots.

    gee…it’s like you know me or something! hahahahahaha…thanks for the lola…i miss sctv…now i have to remember to post that on fb and my own blog this holiday season…i am all about sharing the joy of the love spirit…
    .
    .
    .
    as are the christian pr0n people apparently…

    If you are one of those intrepid merchants of filth who opts to be a purveyor of Teh P0rnz0rz on these glorious magickal Interwebs, & your home page is completely devoid of nudity …
    YOU ARE DOING IT AS WRONG AS IT CAN BE DONE.

    ha! indeed…

  346. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:10

    Sick poll: On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky, how much do you love children?

    where does california school teacher snapping bondage pics of students fit in? asking for a friend…

  347. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:15

    where does california school teacher snapping bondage pics of students fit in?

    Hopefully about 20 years to life.

  348. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:17

    From the link:

    Christian Porn Favorites

    “The Body of Chris” (2006) — Starring newcomer Chris Varney and his well-sculpted body. He and Mrs. Varney, a petite
    beauty, love each other on two beaches and in a pool.
    “Round Yon Virgin” (2006) — The raven-haired Louisa Flagler and her well-endowed new husband consummate their
    marriage in a Jacuzzi, losing their virginity together.
    “Rod Is the Answer” (2005) — Christian Porn ironman Rod Parker’s most memorable film. Known for their marathon
    sessions, the Parkers perform in the shower, the kitchen, the garage, and practically every room in the house. Follow-up to the
    break-through “In Rod We Trust” (2005).
    “Oh, Come, All Ye Faithful” (2004) — Californians Jodi and Michael Connor follow Sunday service with a love-making
    session, inspired by their reverend’s words regarding the value of human touch.
    “Lazarus Rises” (2004) — New Jersey’s Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Brooks depict marriage during Biblical times. Wardrobe and
    locations are impressively authentic.

  349. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:19

    “Lazarus Rises” (2004) — New Jersey’s Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Brooks depict marriage during Biblical times. Wardrobe and
    locations are impressively authentic.

    Those are REAL LICE in the robes and the bedding!

  350. Pupienus said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:22

    Oh, sweet, sweet baby Jesus on a pogo stick… What will they think of next?

    http://www.christiansandbdsm.com

    Christian Kink: Why Traditional Religion and Non-Traditional Sex Are a Good Match

  351. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:23

    http://www.christiansandbdsm.com

    As long as it doesn’t involve crucifixion I’m OK with it.

  352. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:24

    It’s hotter when it’s WRONG.

  353. vacuumslayer said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:25

    Sick poll: On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky, how much do you love children?

    You are a horrible person…who makes me laugh.

  354. CRA said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:27

    Christmas-themed porn seems secular to me. The santa suit and optional tree just can’t keep my mind on the reason for the season.

  355. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:28

    Christmas-themed porn seems secular to me.

    So the “Ho Ho Ho” part is taken literally?

  356. actor212 said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:31

    How are you planning to decorate the drool bucket.

    You need to get a spitoon, bbkf

  357. rodert rudis said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:32

    “Come to think of it, weren’t the British actually on the hook to back the Confederates back in the day, which is why the Union’s navy had to blockade a bunch of the South?”

    This subject has always interested me because I have heard many Southerners repeat the line that the British were actually on the side of the Confederacy. But it wasn’t true. Neither official British policy nor the British people indicated support for the Southern Cause. Without going into a lot detailed explanation of the relationship between the C.S.A. and G.B., I’ll just quote Wiki (my old standby):

    “The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland was officially neutral throughout the American Civil War, 1861-65. The Confederate strategy for securing independence was largely based on the hope of British and French military intervention, which never happened; intervention would have meant war with the United States.”

    Nonetheless:

    “The British built and operated most of the blockade runners, spending hundreds of millions of pounds on them; but that was legal and not the cause of serious tension.” (See the Alabama Claims & the Trent Affair)

    How did this work? How was it that the official position of the British goernment was neutrality and yet the British provided the blockade runners? Because the blockade runners were privately owned, were essentially war profiteers operating without any legal constraint from the British government. Judah P. Benjamin, Secretary of State for the C.S.A., negotiated with the British ship owners in the Caribbean,

    “In a round of “secondary diplomacy,” [Benjamin] sent commercial agents to the Caribbean to negotiate opening ports in Bermuda, the West Indies, and Cuba to Confederate blockade-runners to maintain supplies, which the Union was trying to prevent. After mid-1863, the system was expanded and “brought rich rewards to investors, shipowners, and the Confederate Army.”[11]

    The U.S. Civil war was about money, naturally.

  358. CRA said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:32

    Maybe if the man wearing the Santa suit was Joseph, and he was doin Mary. That’d make me think of Jesus.

  359. actor212 said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:33

    What will they think of next?

    Imma thnk your leg is being pulled. And not in a good way. The homepage for the site comes up as “Gambling”.

  360. vacuumslayer said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:33

    Well, I have officially seen everything. Goodbye, Internet. You were vast and weird.

  361. actor212 said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:35

    You can pick any item out of the Sears catalog and there’s somebody out there getting off on it.

    Rule 34 — Old Skool

  362. DAS said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:37

    Apropos of the Sears Catalog (and its potential rule 34 related uses) — Moe, while hooked up to a lie-detector (buzzing every time he lies):

    Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
    Moe: No.
    [buzz]
    Moe: All right, maybe I did. But I didn’t shoot him.
    [ding]
    Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir. You’re free to go.
    Moe: Good, ’cause I got a hot date tonight.
    [buzz]
    Moe: A date.
    [buzz]
    Moe: Dinner with friends.
    [buzz]
    Moe: Dinner alone.
    [buzz]
    Moe: Watching TV alone.
    [buzz]
    Moe: All right! I’m going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria’s Secret catalog.
    [buzz]
    Moe: Sears catalog.
    [ding]
    Moe: Now would you unhook this already, please? I don’t deserve this kind of shabby treatment.
    [buzz]

  363. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:38

    This subject has always interested me because I have heard many Southerners repeat the line that the British were actually on the side of the Confederacy. But it wasn’t true. Neither official British policy nor the British people indicated support for the Southern Cause.

    TRIFECTA!

  364. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:38

    Maybe if the man wearing the Santa suit was Joseph, and he was doin Mary. That’d make me think of Jesus.

    TRIFUCKTA!

  365. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:40

    The Confederacy counted on British recognition because England’s textile plants were highly dependent on Southern cotton. They underestimated (as always) the revulsion in which slavery was held by the rest of the civilized world.

    Some of the most moving documents from the Civil War are the letter that Manchester cotton workers sent to Lincoln expressing support for the Union cause, and Lincoln’s reply.

  366. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:41

    you say trifecta
    i say trifuckta…
    let’s say we both get off!

  367. DAS said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:44

    I was always taught that the main audience of the Emancipation Proclamation was the British public — the idea being that the British were leaning toward supporting the South (if the South won, they would have been a de facto British colony and source of raw materials for the Empire), but openly supporting a pro-slavery rebellion was a direction in which even the British wouldn’t go, so Lincoln wisely made sure to label the Southerners for what they really were.

  368. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:46

    Southerners for what they really were.

    mercenary hillbilly fuckwads?

  369. jim said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:57

    I will strip for wildflowers in a basket of peaches …

  370. rodert rudis said,

    February 3, 2012 at 20:57

    “The Confederacy counted on British recognition because England’s textile plants were highly dependent on Southern cotton. They underestimated (as always) the revulsion in which slavery was held by the rest of the civilized world.”

    So they were wrong on at least two counts, the value of their cotton and the British public’s attitude toward slavery:

    “Once the war with the United States began, the best hope for the survival of the Confederacy was military intervention by Britain and France. The U.S. realized this as well and made it clear that recognition of the Confederacy meant war with the United States — and the cutoff of food shipments into Britain. The Confederates who had believed in “King Cotton” — that is, Britain had to support the Confederacy to obtain cotton for its industries— were proven wrong. Britain, in fact, had ample stores of cotton in 1861 and depended much more on grain from the U.S.[20]“

  371. wiley said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:00

    …overseas the innocent bystander is outta luck. In either case the direct target (innocent or not) will suffer more force than is generally merited.

    Yes. The philosopher Judith Butler talks about large groups of people, even nations full of people, being viewed as “instruments of war” such that every death inflicted is considered to be “self-defense” so that their deaths are not considered to be “grievable”. In the case that an invasion is being called “liberation” it is especially wicked and proto-fascist, imo.

  372. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:01

    You’re right, of course. You should check out my Dokken tattoo, though. Its fricken sweet.

    Protect your chicken from THAT, I say.
    .

  373. CRA said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:04

    Reason for the Sleazin

    Santa: “Pipe down, Mary, you’ll wake the baby.”

  374. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:26

    Jonah Goldberg makes the case for Mitt:

    Let me try to offer some solace. Even if Romney is a Potemkin conservative (a claim I think has merit but is also exaggerated), there is an instrumental case to be made for him: It is better to have a president who owes you than to have one who claims to own you.

    Slavery is bad again.

  375. kg said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:32

    If there’s one thing that Obammy is good at its enslavin’ the whites.

  376. CRA said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:38

    “Yes. The philosopher Judith Butler talks about large groups of people, even nations full of people, being viewed as “instruments of war” such that every death inflicted is considered to be “self-defense” so that their deaths are not considered to be “grievable”. In the case that an invasion is being called “liberation” it is especially wicked and proto-fascist, imo.”–Wiley

    Gotcha. Now I see she wrote a book called Frames of War: When is Life Grievable? … I just read a few reviews online.

  377. Major Kong said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:40

    …overseas the innocent bystander is outta luck. In either case the direct target (innocent or not) will suffer more force than is generally merited.

    Classic example. In WWII:

    German planes conducted “Terror-bombing Raids”.
    RAF planes “de-housed the workforce”.

  378. Hogeye Grex said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:42

    I will strip for wildflowers in a basket of peaches …

    Okay. I love the whole series of those, but looking at that smarmy, venal shitbag putting on his “See? Aren’t I just soooo sincere?” face really makes me want to hurl.

  379. tigris said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:42

    (a claim I think has merit but is also exaggerated)

    Has he ever seen a fence he wouldn’t bravely straddle?

  380. Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs! said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:45

    It is better to have a president who owes you than to have one who claims to own you.

    And just WTF is this supposed to mean, GoldTurd?

    Do you really imagine anybody would WANT to own a big steamin’ pile-a-shit like you?

  381. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:50

    Has he ever seen a fence he wouldn’t bravely straddle?

    Preferably a picket one with nice, sharp points.

    It is better to have a president who owes you than to have one who claims to own you.

    And just WTF is this supposed to mean, GoldTurd?

    It means he claims he can make us have health insurance, therefore he owns us, LiberalFashushism style.

  382. Pupienus said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:52

    Bless the whingers little hearts for the never ending entertainment.

    “I submit to you that it is entirely possible that the fix is in,” Vanderboegh told TPM. “It could be as simple as a picture of something like John Boehner with a sheep, you know. Because they’ve done that before. The FBI blackmails people routinely. They always have.”

    [...]
    Vanderboegh, like many House Republicans, buys into the conspiracy theory that the Obama administration deliberately pumped additional weapons into Mexico in an effort to create the political will to pass gun control at home.

    “My sources, after this thing broke, told me that the whole thing emerged in the offices of Rahm Emmanuel,” Vanderboegh said. “They were frustrated that mass shootings in the United States had not generated the political will for more gun controls, so they were playing around with the idea, ‘how do we do this without paying a political price?’”

    http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/02/republican_sons_a_bitches_going_soft_on_gunwalking_says_blogger.php?ref=fpa

  383. tigris said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:54

    It is better to have a president who owes you than to have one who claims to own you.

    Wait, which one of those is Romney supposed to be again?

  384. tigris said,

    February 3, 2012 at 21:57

    People who know fuck all => sources

  385. oh, seven deadly sins?! yoo-hoo!? said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:03

    …noth­ing is more degen­er­ate than the kind of ethics or moral­ity that sur­vives in the shape of col­lec­tive ideas even after the World Spirit has ceased to inhabit them?—?to use the Hegelian expres­sion as a kind of short­hand. Once the state of human con­scious­ness and the state of social forces of pro­duc­tion have aban­doned these col­lec­tive ideas, these ideas acquire repres­sive and vio­lent qualities.

    …because the col­lec­tive ethos is no longer shared?—?indeed, pre­cisely because the col­lec­tive ethos which must now be herded by quo­ta­tion marks, is not com­monly shared?—?it can impose its claim to com­mon­al­ity only through vio­lent means. In this sense, the col­lec­tive ethos instru­men­tal­izes vio­lence to main­tain the appear­ance of its col­lec­tiv­ity. More­over, this ethos becomes vio­lence only once it has become an anachro­nism. What is strange his­tor­i­cally?—?and tem­po­rally?—?about this form of eth­i­cal vio­lence is that although the col­lec­tive ethos has become anachro­nis­tic, it has not become past; it insists itself into the present as an anachronism.

    Sin, go fuck yerself.

  386. oh, seven deadly sins?! yoo-hoo!? said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:04

    Don’t know how all those question marks ended up there, but still

    Sin, go fuck yerself.

  387. Thread Bear said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:05

    Wait, which one of those is Romney supposed to be again?

    Both!

  388. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:09

    okay…which one of you turned my attention to louis v rick? i want to thank you…i think the newest epidode is by far his best work…

  389. Smut Clyde said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:12

    the Walther P-22 Hope Edition limited edition pistol

    Who are you guys trying to kid? the suitable application of one of these can kill even the toughest tumors dead. Why just one or two* pulls of the trigger and cancer is the least of your problems.

    Michael Moorcock was way ahead of you.

  390. Smut Clyde said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:22

    If Wikipedia is to be believed, for a long time pink was the boys’ color, because it was light red and red is MANLY.

    Ben Goldacre has written amusingly on the topic, with good references.

  391. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:35

    Re: upthread–Jonah on Mitt (ewwwww)…Mark the fucking calendar because loadpants actually has a good point. He’s saying something I’ve actually been meaning to post about, and that is that Mitt may not be in his robot-heart a full-on wingnut…but he will certainly act the part if it means he gets to be a real boy and play president. I really think he’d murder someone to be president. So, he will be an excellent lackey for the wingnuts. They should not fret, they should rejoice. Whether it’s Pig Newton or Mormon Undies, they will have a full-on wingnut in the White House.

  392. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:37

    Pinkfight! No, no tribadism for you pervs.

  393. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:39

    More pink. TAXPAYER-FUNDED pink.

  394. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:42

    http://www.tattooartists.org/Img52168_Dokken_again_.asp

    Well, I have no idea how to feel about this. On the one hand, super-cheesy tattoo. OTOH, dude has nice fucking broad shoulders. Those slim guys with the broad shoulders…I’ll be in my bunk.

  395. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:49

    More pink. TAXPAYER-FUNDED pink.

    I have a feeling this last move on Komen’s part was a very very bad one, especially combined with things like this film.

  396. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:57

    I just decided to call Oregon home (after 13 years) but DAMN a lot of people in this place have a problem with others!

    Related: Welcome to Oregon, now go home

  397. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:02

    Pupienus said,

    February 3, 2012 at 2:57 (kill)

    Don’t fuck with the Decemberists!.

    That is awesome! Although it was sad to hear Jenny had cancer. She’s an amazing talent — I got to see her live with Casey Neill here in Corvallis a while back and it was great.

  398. Smut Clyde said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:07

    I have a feeling this last move on Komen’s part was a very very bad one, especially combined with things like this film.
    Back in the 1980s when AIDS activism was spawning the breast-cancer awareness / activism movement, I remember thinking that this would be devastating for public health in the long run… the allocation of funds to research & treat different diseases would depend on which patient group made the most noise and hired the best lobbyists. Good for the lobbying industry, of course.

  399. Pupienus said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:12

    Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 3, 2012 at 22:57 (kill)

    I just decided to call Oregon home (after 13 years) but DAMN a lot of people in this place have a problem with others!

    ? Where did that come from? What did I miss? Am I fully insane now?

  400. Smut Clyde said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:13

    The people that don’t want to be associated with those babykillers at Plannned Parenthood are proud to offer you the Walther P-22 Hope Edition limited edition pistol.

    The Discount Guns Sales company may have been perturbed by the attention turning to that image; they have disabled the link.

  401. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:20

    The Discount Guns Sales company may have been perturbed by the attention turning to that image; they have disabled the link.

    which again goes to prove that there is nothing the sadlies cannot do once they get to clicking…

  402. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:21

    gads…i hope a certain someone does not find out about this latest act of snark sabotage…

  403. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:21

    Where did that come from? What did I miss? Am I fully insane now?

    Sorry, that was from:

    wiley, upthread

  404. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:29

    I would just like to tell everyone here to keep it in your pants.

  405. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:38

    I would just like to tell everyone here to keep it in your pants.

    that is a fine piece of cinematic work there…i like how the kid can’t quite not grin when purity bear is humping his shoulder…and i did NOT know that clenching and/or unclenching of the fingers meant one was a raging sex machine who is trying to entrap you…

  406. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:38

    i also like how they apparently got married the next day…

  407. vacuumslayer said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:42

    I prefer to thnk that, in an ironic twist, they are both witches who therefore do not age.

  408. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:43

    Lunch: sardines in smoked oil on crackers.

    Ingredients:
    1 can sardines in smoked oil
    Keebler Club crackers. Other crackers may be used, but the Club’s rectangular shape is particularly well-suited to this recipe.

    Open sardine can
    Open crackers
    Remove a cracker from box.
    Carefully extract sardine using fork. Fingers may be substituted if you don’t have a fork.
    Painstakingly place sardine on cracker.
    Consume.
    Grin slyly, yet knowingly, at how such a simple snack can be so god damn fucking delicious.

    It’s probably a bad thing that I just realized that a can of sardines, packed in oil, only has 180 calories. I’m going to eat way too many of these things now, I just know it.

  409. Thread Bear said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:44

    I would just like to tell everyone here to keep it in your pants.

    Is there really 69 comments? Or did she just set up the page to always say that for the purity day post? And if she didn’t, she should.

  410. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:45

    Crackering the sardine.

    Also too.

  411. bbkf said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:49

    I prefer to thnk that, in an ironic twist, they are both witches who therefore do not age.

    well, at any rate they both seem to really like each other: he’s not like other guys and she looks pretty…a sound basis for any marriage, i would say…

  412. Thread Bear said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:49

    Packing the sardine – in oil.

  413. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:52

    I would just like to tell everyone here to keep it in your pants.

    TIL that vacuumslayer is the Purity Bear. Weird.

    Also and too, so the girl invited him in, said that her parents aren’t home. That obviously means that they were going to have hot monkey sex all over the house? Maybe she just wanted to play a really intense game of Monopoly and was happy her folks weren’t around to distract her? Or is the simple act of being invited in to a girl’s house license for the guy to do anything he wanted to her? He couldn’t just go in and talk? His base instincts are far too strong to withstand her evil woman fleshy bits trying to steal his precious bodily fluids? He needs an imaginary teddy bear to keep him from raping her? I wonder if the director’s cut shows her disemboweled in their wedding suite the next day, the bear chuckling in the corner, saying “Yes, yes! This feels right!”

    Shorter me: W. T. F.

  414. vacuumslayer said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:54

    Honestly I think the bear just wants to fuck the guy.

  415. Pupienus said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:55

    Thanks OBS, ctl-f failed because the comment was hidden from view by dancing badgers. Kewt kewt badgers!

  416. Thread Bear said,

    February 3, 2012 at 23:56

    So, what I learned from the video is that before teens have sex they should dress up in a tux and a white dress and then have sex in front of a cross. Then, and only then will it “feel right”. And if they can’t be bothered to go through all that effort they should just go home and have sex with a teddy bear.

  417. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:00

    And if they can’t be bothered to go through all that effort they should just go home and have sex with a teddy bear.

    And now we know how furries are made. Thanks Purity Bear!

  418. Pupienus said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:00

    Open sardine can
    Open crackers
    [...]

    Consume.
    Have a big gulp of HUB lager

    Emended for great taste.

  419. bbkf said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:01

    Is there really 69 comments? Or did she just set up the page to always say that for the purity day post? And if she didn’t, she should.

    i just got this…

  420. Thread Bear said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:01

    It’s probably a bad thing that I just realized that a can of sardines, packed in oil, only has 180 calories. I’m going to eat way too many of these things now, I just know it.

    Don’t forget to add another 200 or so calories for the crackers.

  421. bbkf said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:04

    Also and too, so the girl invited him in, said that her parents aren’t home. That obviously means that they were going to have hot monkey sex all over the house? Maybe she just wanted to play a really intense game of Monopoly and was happy her folks

    DID YOU NOT SEE HER UNCLENCH HER FINGERS?!?!? CLEARLY A SIGN FOR I AM A HORNY VIXEN…WELCOME TO MY LAIR!!!

  422. Chris said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:04

    Come to think of it, weren’t the British actually on the hook to back the Confederates back in the day, which is why the Union’s navy had to blockade a bunch of the South?

    Sort of, sort of not. It’s complicated: I actually chose to research this back in college, so here goes. Yes, the British government sort of liked the Confederates and hoped they’d win the war. Partly, that’s because they felt a cultural connection to the South (the most traditional and also the most Anglo-Saxon part of America, even back then). Much more importantly, though, they loved the idea of having two major powers fighting each other on the North American continent, because then the British could be the balance of power: whenever one of the two got too big for its britches, they could back the other and even the scales. (The British Empire were masters at the “all business, not personal” thing, something people don’t always realize when they talk about their support for the South).

    In spite of all that, they ended up not joining in the war (and since they controlled the Atlantic, that pretty much meant no other European power was going to either). As I recall them, here’s the four reasons I found for that:

    1) (This will surprise no one): slavery. Doesn’t matter whether that’s what the war was about or not, most of the British public thought it was, and an even bigger majority had no interest in putting British lives at risk to defend a bunch of slave-owners. (Think Reagan in the 1980s, wanting to help Apartheid South Africa, but having his hands tied by Congress and public opinion).

    2) (This will surprise many): cotton. People think it was the South’s biggest strength, but as it turns out, not so much. At the very beginning of the war, the South slapped a cotton embargo on the British in order to “persuade” them that it was in their best interests to join the war: but instead, the British took it as a slap in the face, decided “okay, FUCK YOU TOO” and started growing their own cotton in Egypt. And meanwhile, they were still receiving grain from the North.

    3) The South would’ve had to prove that it was a serious player, worth investing British resources and lives into. In an earlier war, the American colonists did that by winning Saratoga, and the South was hoping to do the same thing by winning at Gettysburg. But as we all know, they didn’t win, so they never got their Saratoga.

    4) Not a reason so much as a non-reason: ultimately, no matter who won the Civil War, there was no major threat to the British Empire there, so, in the abstract, the British might have liked for the South to win, in real life, making that happen wasn’t really worth the hassle.

    In a nutshell, British leaders were deviously self-interested (what else is new), Southern leaders were stupidly belligerent (what else is new), Robert E. Lee wasn’t quite the military genius he’s remembered as (what else is new), and America wasn’t quite as important to the rest of the world as it thought it was (what else is new). Okay, that last paragraph was the slanted editorializing of an incurable half-French, half-liberal-American citizen, but this is Sadly No.

  423. Smut Clyde said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:05

    I always do what Teddy says

  424. bbkf said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:05

    i was just gifted with a gift set of rum from barbados…

  425. Chris said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:07

    Catching-up: thanks Fenwick, glad you liked them. And since you asked in an earlier thread, I’m doing well, thank you kindly! I enjoy your posts as well, even (or perhaps especially) when they do Ruthlessly Destroy innocent threads.

  426. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:07

    Have a big gulp of HUB lager

    Emended for great taste.

    Alas, this was all done sitting at my desk at work. No beer available. That would’ve been perfect though.

    Don’t forget to add another 200 or so calories for the crackers.

    Four Club crackers is 70 calories, and I ate six, so 105 cals. But yeah, it’s really easy to eat way too many of those crackers.

  427. Thread Bear said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:10

    i was just gifted with a gift set of rum from barbados…

    Mount Gay? Not that it matters too much, I’ve already got my car keys in hand, I’m heading over.

  428. Chris said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:11

    Oh, and this:

    I like the following formulation (started by I remember not who at Balloon Juice) regarding the GOP: The Confederate Party. However that only accounts for about 3/4ths of the constituency with the god botherers and racists falling into this category. The last quarter would be accurately described as American Torries, a group whose loathing for democracy, was in the past, only masked by expensive PR campaigns. After the acquisition of the entire media landscape, the PR campaigns have become revenue neutral, and hell who knows, might even turn a profit.

    Well, it’s a coalition of economic royalists, racists and religious fundamentalists – the ERs have been pissed at America since the New Deal, the racists have been pissed at America since abolition/the Civil War, and the fundies have pretty much been pissed at America since the ink dried on the First Amendment. Think of them as the blowback from the three big steps forward in American history (including its creation), all aggregated together.

    But I agree that “Confederate Party” works best (and easily accounts for the largest number of them).

  429. Chris said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:11

    Okay, I’m done bringing in mangos from way upstream.

  430. bbkf said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:12

    Mount Gay? Not that it matters too much, I’ve already got my car keys in hand, I’m heading over.

    um…there is some “old brigand” “foursquare” “special barbados rum” (?!) and “e.s.a. field”

  431. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:18

    BTW, OBS, I’m completely bonkers for smoked mussels and oysters on crackers.

  432. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:20

    DID YOU NOT SEE HER UNCLENCH HER FINGERS?!?!? CLEARLY A SIGN FOR I AM A HORNY VIXEN…WELCOME TO MY LAIR!!!

    Oh geez, no wonder the bag boy gave me such a weird look.

  433. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:20

    Just because I love you all, I present a mango from the foetid swamp that is Yahoo:

    YOU AIN’T SEEN NUTTIN YET. By now you know, the 2257+ pages of OBAMANATION-CARE, most of which the Demo-Rats still don’t understand or did not read, has only about 579 page “remotely” to do with health. What stands out is the “DEATH-SQUARD” to be appointed in 2013. It will answer to nobody and will say who gets medicine and who won’t and for how long (power to pull the plug)..This will make HOSPICE and CARE-GIVING ORGS. absolete.. In the same “healthcare” writings it states begining in 2013 you will pay a 3.8% sales tax on the sale of your house and a .15 cent tax on all Christmas trees.. Read it and WEEP… Better yet..Lets RE-CYCLE Washingto,D.C. and FUMIGATE
    our Beloved White House from the Socialist aiming at Fascism OBAMANATION and
    his ILLEGAL CZARS… GOD BLESS AMERICA…

    FEAR THE DEATH SQUARD!!!

    You’re welcome.

  434. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:22

    By now you know, the 2257+ pages of OBAMANATION-CARE, most of which the Demo-Rats still don’t understand or did not read

    But this clown read it, I’m sure. I want to see the Death Squard part.

  435. bbkf said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:29

    Oh geez, no wonder the bag boy gave me such a weird look.

    and now he is probably rubbing one out in a teddy bear…

  436. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:30

    I want to see the Death Squard part.

    I want to be on the Death Squard. I can’t wait to choose who gets to die, I have several people in mind already.

  437. bbkf said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:31

    “DEATH-SQUARD”

    i wonder if the death squard warshes their warsh cloths in the warshing machine?

  438. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:33

    and now he is probably rubbing one out in a teddy bear…

    No worries. The teddy bear’s INTO IT.

    I want to be on the Death Squard. I can’t wait to choose who gets to die, I have several people in mind already.

    Me too. Can I be on on your Death Squard? Are the uniforms cool? I want to wear a Matrix-style leather jacket and carry a scythe.

  439. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:33

    Oil packed sardines on crackers is awesome. With great Oregon beer? Awesome squared.

    Now I have to go to Safeway.

  440. bbkf said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:33

    This will make HOSPICE and CARE-GIVING ORGS. absolete..

    oh, the death squard will absoletely make these orgs absolete…

  441. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:34

    Thanks OBS, ctl-f failed because the comment was hidden from view by dancing badgers. Kewt kewt badgers!

    Yeah, my badgers haven’t had to work as hard since I had to up the LOGORRHEA ADVISORY word count so that certain people’s longer comments weren’t constantly being hidden.

  442. bbkf said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:34

    Awesome squared.

    or is it awesome…squard?

  443. Provider_UNE™Howard_Roark's_RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:35

    okay…which one of you turned my attention to louis v rick?

    I don’t know, but now I get to thank you for turning me on to the hilarity. That was indeed hilarious…”I’m an artist, rick”
    .

  444. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:36

    Now I have to go to Safeway.

    Bi-mart has better prices on both beer and sardines. And the Bi-mart on 53rd street has a great beer selection…

  445. Provider_UNE™RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:37

    Previous nym iteration was for a one off Fountainhead gag.
    .

  446. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:37

    since I had to up the LOGORRHEA ADVISORY word count so that certain people’s longer comments weren’t constantly being hidden.

    Sorry.

  447. Smut Clyde said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:39

    Are the uniforms cool? I want to wear a Matrix-style leather jacket and carry a scythe.

    Artist’s depiction. IBIMB.

  448. bbkf said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:39

    I don’t know, but now I get to thank you for turning me on to the hilarity. That was indeed hilarious…”I’m an artist, rick”

    i almost laff myself sick when i read those…i am glad i could bring the hilarity to you…

  449. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:39

    Can I be on on your Death Squard? Are the uniforms cool? I want to wear a Matrix-style leather jacket and carry a scythe.

    Yes, black leather and a scythe would be quite good. Perhaps crossed syringes on a red background for our logo/patch design?

    We need a good motto though…

  450. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:40

    oh, the death squard will absoletely make these orgs absolete…

    Arbsolete.

  451. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:41

    Yes, black leather and a scythe would be quite good. Perhaps crossed syringes on a red background for our logo/patch design?

    Oooh. OBS is firing on all cylinders!

  452. bbkf said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:41

    We need a good motto though…

    my motto is: ‘safety first!’ which is followed by, ‘everything in moderation’

    also, i am not good at following my mottos…

  453. bbkf said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:47

    It will answer to nobody and will say who gets medicine and who won’t and for how long (power to pull the plug).

    well, here’s a great motto right there!

  454. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:49

    We need a good motto though…

    dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

    It is sweet and proper to die for one’s country

  455. oh, seven deadly sins?! yoo-hoo!? said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:53

    Smut Clyde— story is pure awesome with awesome glaze on a bed of awesome. I tell Clouds he must to read. He write sci-fi short stories, also. Wiley no know how to link to PDF and would like to pimp story on wiley domain. Help? Link? Embed tag written with surreptitiousness?

  456. wiley with nym fail said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:54

    Yep.

    Goes with the territory, do it not?

  457. Suezboo said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:56

    Do you feel lucky, punk?
    Motto.

  458. Anonymous said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:59

    Komen Kaves!

    Or maybe not.

    It’s also possible that the gun sellers made a fradulent (and misspelled) connection to the Komen Foundation.

    Which may actually give you more reason to be suspicious of pink stuff sold for a cause– it might just be lining the manufacturer’s pockets.

    And in other news, the Komen Foundation has no problem giving money to another organization currently under Federal investigation…

  459. John Revolta said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:01

    Thread Bear said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:10

    Mount Gay? Not that it matters too much

    Say, you’re not related to that Purity Bear fella, are you?

  460. tigris said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:07

    Squard sounds like a squash-gourd cross. Death obviously has a green pollical distal phalanx.

  461. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:10

    S. cerevisiae said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:49 (kill)

    We need a good motto though…

    dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

    It is sweet and proper to die for one’s country

    Perfect! I was hoping for something in Latin.

    What do you think?

    I almost went with Comic Sans as the font, for that fun “we’re from the government and we’re here to kill you, have a nice day!” vibe, but decided on a bauhaus font to invoke more of a futuristic dystopian feel.

  462. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:14

    That is perfect! Well done!

  463. Fenwick said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:19

    Working to ketchup … so don’t ‘ahem’ me if someone else has discovered that the ‘Christian Pr0n’ is a joke: I went to the ‘Store’ and found lefty- anti-Xian T-shirts and such.

  464. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:21

    We all know that conservatives are idiots, but now there’s scientific proof.

  465. vacuumslayer says it IS easy out there for a pimp said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:25

    Yeah, that’s the hot thing on the internet now, OBS. Though not as hot as cat breading.

  466. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:34

    We all know that conservatives are idiots, but now there’s scientific proof.

    I have now lost the way to it, but long ago in some corner of the internet there was a skinhead recruiter’s essay about how the Nazi movement was never gonna get anywhere if the only people who wanted to join were glue-sniffers, closeted homosexuals and idiots.

  467. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:35

    Yeah, that’s the hot thing on the internet now, OBS.

    Well if it’s less than six months old I’m actually doing pretty good…

  468. sparks said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:42

    So, what I learned from the video is that before teens have sex they should dress up in a tux and a white dress

    Am I the only one who thinks that wedding dresses are often made to look like gift wrapping? “Inside contains a jewel, slightly tarnished”.

  469. vacuumslayer said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:46

    OBS, IM usually about 5 years behind on any given meme, so you’re doing a lot better than I am.

  470. vacuumslayer said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:48

    I have now lost the way to it, but long ago in some corner of the internet there was a skinhead recruiter’s essay about how the Nazi movement was never gonna get anywhere if the only people who wanted to join were glue-sniffers, closeted homosexuals and idiots.

    That is fucking hilarious.

  471. Smut Clyde said,

    February 4, 2012 at 1:55

    Did someone say “breading cats“?

  472. N__B said,

    February 4, 2012 at 2:17

    Death Bob Squard Pants.

  473. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 4, 2012 at 2:19

    I thought we were going to have Death Panhandles.

  474. Major Kong said,

    February 4, 2012 at 2:21

    We need a good motto though…

    dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

    Relevant

    DULCE ET DECORUM EST

  475. N__B said,

    February 4, 2012 at 2:26

    I’m in favor of Dulce Con Leche.

  476. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 4, 2012 at 2:28

    Hows about dulse and demerara rum?

  477. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 4, 2012 at 2:30

    BASS! Bass! Quick, boys!– An ecstasy of fumbling,
    Fitting the clumsy fish tanks just in time;
    But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
    And sautéing like a perch in salt or lime.

  478. John Revolta said,

    February 4, 2012 at 2:30

    Wait, so Walther just decided to start making pink handguns all on their own? Something smells funny in here and I don’t just mean my dog.

    Also,

    After the acquisition of the entire media landscape, the PR campaigns have become revenue neutral, and hell who knows, might even turn a profit.

    Holy crap, I can’t believe this never occurred to me before. Any money these “corporate persons” give to campaigns comes right back to them, probably with interest. Whatta scam. These fucks really can’t lose, can they?

  479. Major Kong said,

    February 4, 2012 at 2:30

    It’s actually a very good poem. In case you’ve never read it, it’s worth a look.

  480. tigris said,

    February 4, 2012 at 2:47

    Owen is well worth reading. I came to him via Britten’s War Requiem, also worth attending to.

  481. John Revolta said,

    February 4, 2012 at 2:55

    I’m a Dolce Far Niente guy myself.

  482. wiley with nym fail said,

    February 4, 2012 at 3:11

    After watching “All Quiet on the Western Front” while in a VA rehab center for mobility impairment I often think back to it. The war was so pointless, painful, and maddening. It was amazing how grueling the first battle scene was in that movie. Spielberg had to make a lot of noise and do a lot of tricks to capture the sheer horror that was captured on film in the twenties.

    Every anti-war trope we ever heard was in that film. It makes me sad, but it also makes me understand how quickly other weapons and ways of fighting were developed in order to end trench warfare. I already understood why so many countries agreed so quickly to abandon chemical and biological weapons as “weapons of mass destruction.”— they were as likely to kill themselves with them as anyone else, and it made men quite shy of visiting, ransacking, looting, crossing, or gathering intelligence from poisoned battlefields.

    The horror. The horror.

  483. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 4, 2012 at 4:00

    Chris, I gotta say, awesome post on England and the Confederacy. Thanks.

  484. wiley with mild food porn said,

    February 4, 2012 at 4:05

    Soooooo. Now that I’m here, everybody is gone, huh. What to do? Jump on the furniture? Or engage is some straight-fucking-but-better-than-missionary-position-with-teddy-bear food porn. It’s damned close to shopping day.

    Do I hear straight-fucking-but-better-than-missionary-position-with-teddy-bear food porn? Yes. Yes, I do.

    So, using what I have now, I’m making a simple cheese and potato soup. I sauted some finely chopped yellow onion in olive oil until transparent, then added some diced red potato. I then added two cups of organic milk. After the milk scalded (I luv the flavor of scalded milk) I added some thyme, a bay leaf, and some coarsely ground pepper. Since the only bread we have is small hamburger buns, I’m going to use those to make garlic toast. And we’ll have a salad with mixed greens, english cucumber, roma tomato (boo. Got those at the only store in walking distance.) and red, yellow, and green bell pepper.

    [muzak]

    The soup wasn’t cheezy enough, so I grabbed a few more hunks of cheese, and the cheese grater that was already clean because it’s never easier to clean that it is directly after using it (file this under making laziness work for you and I grated that cheese, then added it lazily to the soup in one big drop. File that one under laziness NOT working for you.

    So, I got my Hamilton Beach mixer out, took the pot off the stove and beat the shit out of the soup. Then I added more milk. Then I beat the shit out of the soup again.

    It is now back on the stove top on low heat, simmering. Is it because I scalded the milk? Is it because I added too much cheese to quickly? Who gives a fuck? We’re going to eat it. The flavor of the thyme, bay leaf, and ground pepper is pleasant and earthy. Clouds may blanche a little bitty bit because he has some real sensitivity for texture, but he loves extra sharp cheddar cheese.

    I can say I made dinner, that we ate it, and soon enough I’ll say I’m ready for one leg of our grocery shopping— bulk items at Winco.

  485. John Revolta said,

    February 4, 2012 at 4:41

    I gotta say, this is one perfect example of how teh tagfail can actually make food porn even pornier.

  486. Fenwick said,

    February 4, 2012 at 4:53

    Asshole.

  487. Major Kong said,

    February 4, 2012 at 4:53

    But! But! I thought all those people on unemployment were just lazy? So there must be plenty of jobs to go around. You can’t have it both ways.

  488. Pupienus said,

    February 4, 2012 at 4:54

    You need to thicken it a bit so the cheese goes in correctly. Next time try adding some flour, a couple tablespoons, after the onions are softened and cook it a bit to make a roux. You’re basically making a thin bechamel sauce. (Same thing works for stock based soups except then it’s called a veloute sauce). The “pros” always say to whisk in hot milk but I never bother and my bechamels always turn out perfect. Bring that to the boil – suaces or soups thickened with flour don’t thicken until they boil. Don’t worry, it won’t break ubless you’re using skim milk or some such abomination. Quelle horreur! Meanwhile, parboil the spuds in another pot just until tender. After the soup boils gently for a minute or two remove from the heat and whisk in the grated cheese. I love sharp cheddar for soup (and mac-cheese too!) but it can sometimes get stringy or grainy; if so then whisk in droplets of lemon juice to fix that right up. When the cheese is well incorportaed return the pot to the burner on low – DO NOT let it boil again. Stir in the drained spuds (save that water for making bread! or for treating warts, whichever need arises first), correct seasoning and enjoy. Note that the cheese is salty so you won’t need much salt, if any. Some mustard powder is always good with cheddar cheese concoctions – add it with the milk. And a teensy soupcon of freshly grated nutmeg is da bomb.

    The Ho is spending the night in Hood River at the PGMC board retreat. I shall enjoy his absence as I usually do, eating salmon which the unappreciative little bitch doesn’t care for. After a few more martinis (we’ve been into New Amsterdam gin lately – very interesting and they hit the right price point between US made Gordon’s and the like on the low end and Bombay or Beefeater on the high end.) I’ll toss the line caught Alaskan salmon into a small SS pan with some hot butter, skin side down. Let that puppy get a nice crisp skin, flip it and cook for just a few seconds on the other side then remove to a warm plate and tent with foil. I’ll hit the pan with some finely diced shallot then a heft dose of heavy cream and a big ass dollop of Dijon-style (read: homemade) mustard, reduce to nappe and drape it over teh fitch. Some steamed new potatoes with butter and parsley, and steam/fried haricots vert complete the plate. A lovely Oregon Pinot Noir will go with.

    For dessert it’s just pistachio ice cream with crumbled cookies.

  489. wiley with mild food porn said,

    February 4, 2012 at 4:54

    Oh, Jesus wrapped in grape leaves and seasoned with lemon*! Who spoke its name? Just look at this MESS! I’m not going to clean it up. I’m going to look for that newspaper so I can smack it good after I rub its nose in it.

    disclaimer: I would never do that to a dog—only trolls.

    * not to be confused with the Prince of Peace

  490. Fenwick said,

    February 4, 2012 at 4:56

    Chris: Excellent analysis of English role during the ACW.

  491. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 4, 2012 at 5:00

    Did a cat shit in here?

  492. Chris said,

    February 4, 2012 at 5:17

    But! But! I thought all those people on unemployment were just lazy? So there must be plenty of jobs to go around. You can’t have it both ways.

    This is what always gets me about their “jobs” pile of bullshit. Look, either unemployed people are unemployed because they’re lazy fucks, in which case Obama has nothing to do with this and you should probably stop whining that the jobs situation is his fault. Or it’s Obama who’s destroying all these jobs, in which case all those lazy fucks you keep telling to get jobs aren’t actually lazy, they’re fellow victims of Obammunism, and you should probably stop shitting on their victimhood status. (Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned from you, it’s that NOTHING, NOTHING on EARTH is so bad as to be a “victim,” whatever that means, of Obammunism).

    Thanks for the positive review, Fenwick!

  493. Provider_UNE™RenaissanceBarbarianTea said,

    February 4, 2012 at 5:40

    These fucks really can’t lose, can they?

    Brilliant, innit?
    .

  494. rodert rudis said,

    February 4, 2012 at 6:02

    Chris said,

    February 4, 2012 at 0:04

    Excellent post Chris.

  495. Some Creep said,

    February 4, 2012 at 6:16

    Mommy! Guess what I did Mommy! I posted a whole long Rush transcript over at Sadly, No! Isn’t that funny? Boy, I’ll bet those liberals are really mad now, huh Mommy? Hey, where are you, anyway……………………………aw, Mommy, you didn’t go down to Clancy’s again, did you? What’s so cool about that place, anyway? C’mon, Mommy, wake up……….

  496. wiley with mild food porn said,

    February 4, 2012 at 6:38

    Pupienus, thnx for the instruction. I knew that once, but had forgotten it completely. The good man ate his whole bowl of soup and his salad, and will not complain. I burned the garlic toast so I’ll scrape it off later and have it with the rest of the pimiento cheese spread I made with the same very sharp cheddar. I’m not usually this distracted, but something marvelous is afoot so I inadvertently got so involved in something a friend e-mailed me today that I completely forgot about the toast.

    Am thinking I might make a roux tomorrow, and add the remaining cheese to that slowly. It would be nice to have a cheese soup that actually reads as such.

    Since most of the stressors in my life have dissipated, my MS pain is so manageable that all I’m taking for it right now is a muscle relaxant and what’s left of the Arrogant Bastard Ale. I heart the screened bottle. Next I’ll try some C-Note Imperial Pale Ale.

    Am having a blast going through my records from lock-down.

  497. wiley with mild food porn said,

    February 4, 2012 at 6:58

    These reports are hysterical. Get this:

    pt arrives with rapid speech, flight of ideas and unable to follow conversation. Attempt to ask pt questions and pt states “I like peas, I am an in home care giver.”

    I said, “I like peace. I am an in-home caregiver.”

    Guess she thought someone really does visualize whirled peas.

  498. jim said,

    February 4, 2012 at 7:00

    OOOOOOOOPS.

  499. Smut Clyde said,

    February 4, 2012 at 8:19

    pt arrives with rapid speech, flight of ideas and unable to follow conversation.
    ONE OF US!

  500. wiley with mild food porn said,

    February 4, 2012 at 8:31

    Do you guys also imagine that you have MS and have service-connected PTSD from an incident you experienced while on duty until some arrogant dumb-ass finally gets your VA records to confirm that what you said was actually quite true; but the staff just kept acting like you made stuff up all the time and were refusing to accept that the diagnosis that they made when they believed nothing you said still applied?

    I hope us all are working on some seriously scathing letters with footnotes to be sent to several agencies because

    drug mill. medicare/medicaid fraud. quacks. nurses and art therapists who imagine themselves to be highly trained in the science of mind

  501. Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs! said,

    February 4, 2012 at 9:16

    The American population’s grown by 30 million since 2000, and there are fewer payroll jobs. Back in 1980, less than 30% of all jobs in America were low-income jobs. Today, more than 40% are low income. BLS numbers here, folks.

    Yeah, Rush, come to think of it, thanks, you and your fellow rightwing maniacs, for all the outsourcing and union-busting that gave us these very stats.

    And after the rightwing maniacs eliminate the minimum wage you’ll be right there blaming liberals about the high percentage of low-paying jobs…

    So fuck you and all your sociopathic followers.

  502. John Revolta said,

    February 4, 2012 at 10:43

    Back in 1980, less than 30% of all jobs in America were low-income jobs. Today, more than 40% are low income.

    Hmmmmm, 1980…………….seems to ring a bell……………something happened…………..

    Seriously, how does this fat fuck have the stones to quote these stats and figure that nobody’s ever gonna, I dunno, put two and two together or something? The contempt that he has for his audience is indeed thrilling.

  503. wiley with mild food porn said,

    February 4, 2012 at 10:58

    Because they don’t put two and two together. Projection. Projection. Projection. And—-

    it’s not just for uneducated twits anymore. So-called “educated” twits are often the worst at it. What’s that saying about not seeing or learning something when your job depends on it? (Not like that’s anything new among psychologists— Freud diagnosed a woman with hysteria because nobody could explain her stomach pains…

    until she died two weeks later with stomach cancer. No offense to any actual psychologists here who have GOT to be smarter than the average misogynist twat with a shingle.)

    Yeah. That.

    And that saying about if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail?

    That too.

    And these people who yak all the time about missing white women and call it “news”. OOO-Wie. Theys an awful lot of copy-pasta getting richly rewarded these days. Guess it’s easier to read than actual thought and it doesn’t ruffle the feathers of middle class white men or the ruling class they fancy themselves to be a part of.

    Just sayin’.

  504. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 4, 2012 at 14:47

    Seriously, how does this fat fuck have the stones to quote these stats and figure that nobody’s ever gonna, I dunno, put two and two together or something?

    He knows his audience!

    The contempt that he has for his audience is indeed thrilling.

    Yet they eat that shit up, with their “dittoes” and all that shit.

    And that saying about if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail?

    And if all you have is a bunch of sexual hangups, everything looks like a penis!

  505. wiley said,

    February 4, 2012 at 17:13

    And if all you have is a bunch of sexual hangups, everything looks like a penis!

    This reminds me of a paper I read in an art historiography class about a penis-worshipping culture that went into a great deal of detail about said penis-worshipping. Imagine how far my jaw dropped when I discovered at the end of the paper that the only thing extant of this penis-worshipping culture was a pile of uncarved vertical rocks.

    Da-amn.

  506. Anonymous said,

    February 4, 2012 at 17:18

    In 2011, the union membership rate–the percent of wage and salary workers who were members of a union–was 11.8 percent, essentially unchanged from 11.9 percent in 2010, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. The number of wage and salary workers belonging to unions, at 14.8 million, also showed little movement over the year. In 1983, the first year for which comparable union data are available, the union membership rate was 20.1 percent and there were 17.7 million union workers.

    Who could have possibly imagined that a decrease in the number of union workers would lead to an increase in lower paying jobs?

  507. Major Kong said,

    February 4, 2012 at 17:26

    Who could have possibly imagined that a decrease in the number of union workers would lead to an increase in lower paying jobs?

    It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

  508. wiley said,

    February 4, 2012 at 17:39

    I knew a couple who were both air traffic controllers who had worked at Chicago O’Hare and L.A. International in the seventies and had learned their job in the Marines. Both of them went through the civilian program to get their licences and both of them cracked up before Reagan and their extremely stressful, highly skilled jobs were done with them.

  509. Major Kong said,

    February 4, 2012 at 17:42

    Air Traffic Controllers have a difficult job and I have a lot of respect for them.

    That being said:

    If I screw up – I die.

    If the Air Traffic Controller screws up – I die.

  510. wiley said,

    February 4, 2012 at 19:20

    Having spent two years in a tactical control squadron working with NATO training pilots, I can assure you that there was no sin greater than not being damned good at our jobs and that whenever pilots ditched or crashed (and it was never because of errors on our part) we held our breath and crossed our fingers for the mechanic.

    Young pilots are cocky bastards, but the throw GREAT parties.

  511. home based travel industry said,

    March 11, 2013 at 22:49

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