Socrates-William Gladstone-Michael Walsh

All In The Family — The Jeffersons — The Jeffersons On Ice

Barack!

Barack! Barack! Bo! Barack!
Bananafana Fo Farack!
Fee My Mo Marack!
Barack!

Michael Walsh – Adam Walsh – Etan Patz

DKW’s Mom — Last Night — Good Times

DA – Tintin – Gavin

😛

Steam engines — electric engines — cold fusion

Lester Young -> Bird -> Kenny G

Me — Mrs. __B — Mini__B

Etan Patz

Now THERE’S a name I haven’t heard in a long time…

Mary Magdalen – your favorite 17th Century courtesan – Megan Marshack

Frank Sinatra — Bo Diddly — Vanilla Ice

Steam Punk – Barry Manilow – Pomlamoose

Nice to know that he’s on a nickname-basis with some of history’s leaders.

Jesus — the Pope — child molestation jokes

William Harrison – James Garfield – George W Bush

Vladimir Putin – Sarah Palin – John Edwards

Barry Goldwater — Sarah Palin — Oh, Fuck.

Pliny the Younger — Potsie Weber — Pol Pot

Sean Connery – Roger Moore – Timothy Dalton
Igglybuff – Jigglypuff – Wigglytuff
Your mom – me – your friend’s mom

Light Horse Harry Lee — Robert E. Lee — The General Lee

Pedantic note: when he sez ‘Weimar Republic’ he means Stresemann.

Johnny Unitas — Joe Montana — Tom Brady’s hair

Marie Antoinette — Little Lord Fauntleroy — Megan McArdle

Steal underpants – ??? – PROFIT!

black people -> womynz -> buttsex

Post — Comment — HITLER

Pedantic note: when he sez ‘Weimar Republic’ he means Stresemann.

He’s concerned with the grand sweeping narrative, not petty little facts.

What IS this? It looks like especially abstruse Emily Dickinson poetry.

Lucille Goldberg — genetic mutation — Jonah Goldberg

The Spanish Inquisition – The Holocaust – Saying mean things about Sarah Palin

DKW – vs – Cthuhulu

Hitler — Hitler — HITLER

DKW – DKW’s mom – Trig

Ho — Ho — Ho

50’s society – abortion – 9/11

No posts in the last 24 hours — “You are posting comments too quickly. Slow down.” –FYWP

Righteous Bubba – Zorbs – Substance McGravitas
~

T&U – WP – FYWP

quill pens – typewriters – wordpress

typewriters – Hitler – wordpress
~

P T Barnum – Pat Robertson – Rapture

Damn it T&U. I was going for

Ignorant Panic — Ex-Lax — Jonah Goldberg

Word processors – WordPress – SWEARING

classical music – the beatles – creed

Winston Churchill – Rocky Balboa – Marilyn Manson

classical music – the beatles – creed

GASP!

How DARE you!

Karl Benz –> Henry Ford –> Ferdinand Porsche

To really end in Hell this should then go to Joseph Lucas, “Prince of Darkness”

Father Coughlin — Glenn Beck — OLIGARHY

Sherlock Holmes – Hemlock Stones – Gregory House

Ignorant Panic — Ex-Lax — Jonah Goldberg

Oooh, that’s a good one, too.

Ignorant stupidity — bullshit — Liberal Fascism

Aristophanes goes for the win:

All In The Family — The Jeffersons — The Jeffersons On Ice

Betty — Veronica — Jughead

Franz Ferdinand — Franzia — Franz Ferdinand the band

Heh — Indeed — Lileks has more

Franz Ferdinand — Franzia — Franz Ferdinand the band

splendid

Throwing Christians to the lions – Slavery – High capacity magazine ban

Little Nemo –> Popeye –> Garfield

Cheesecake — Twinkies — Pop Rocks

Johann Sebastian Bach – Sebastian Bach – Axl Rose

Nooners — Dolphins — Jesus

Ayn Rand — Sammich — Daffyd ab Hugh

Pop Rocks — Pepsi — Exploding Stomach

Little Green Footballs – Balloon Juice – Media Matters

Crooks & Liars – Sadly, No! – FOX News

splendid

Thanks!

Eggs — bacon — fuck yeah

Father – Son – What I’d really like Dad is to borrow the car keys, see you later can I have them please?

Jethro Bodine – Isaac Asimov – Bob Owens

Dragon — King — Wangchuck

hieroglyphics – ENIAC – Facebook
~

Payday — Bar — Insufficient Funds

Folk song that T&U doesn’t mind — Ugly Kid Joe — folk song cover T&U hates

Beer — Just a tonic, thanks, I’m resting my liver — AKVAVIT

Jethro Bodine – Isaac Asimov – Bob Owens

Hurricane — greeyull — comedy gold

Second Amendment – Fourteenth Amendment – New Black Panther

John Boehner — Affair with hung dude — Goatse

Jesus — Massive Head Injury — J. Grant Swank Jr.

Wetsuit — Dildo — Another Wetsuit

Conservative bloggers — Cheetos — but I repeat myself

single – open up your heart – WHO ATE ALL MY CHEESY POOFS?!

One — Three — Milk

John Birch Society — lead paint — Townhall

Jesus – Mary – Joseph

Barbra Streisand – Taylor Dane – Celine Dion

Hit — Ler — Stalin

This guy — That guy — The other guy

Payday — Bar — Insufficient Funds

This took me a minute, by the way. I thought you were talking about the candy bar, and I was like, “Damn, he must really like nuts.”

The – Fact – Is

“Damn, he must really like nuts.” — A moment — Joke

Zombie – Jabba the Hutt – Jonah Goldberg

Youtube – MST3K – Unemployed

Ralph Waldo Emerson — Greg Lake — Arnold Palmer

* Czar Nicky — Lenin — Reagan BOOYAH
* Kaiser Willie — Hitler — OMG did Bush just give her a backrub
* Shah Pahlavi — Hey wasn’t he an ally — REAGAN AGAIN

Also:
* King George — George Washington — George W Bush

Gary Ruppert – He Who Must Not Be Named (only because the Sadly, Nauts have blocked any reference to jester-like characters) – Troofie

Hitler — a man a plan a canal panama — reltiH

Jimi Hendrix – Lenny Kravitz – Cee Lo

Badger – Badger – Badger – Badger – Badger – Badger – Badger – MUSHROOOM!

T&U — drunk — only allowed plastic cups from here on out

Hear no evil – Speak no evil – Richard Nixon

Lysistrata — Barbra Streisand — Sarah Palin

I Love Lucy — The Love Boat — Everybody Loves Raymond

Badger – Badger – Badger – Badger – Badger – Badger – Badger – MUSHROOOM!

Worst soup recipe EVER!

Eleanor Roosevelt – Hillary Clinton – Michele Bachmann

DKW’s mom — sequined thong — nightmares

Oscar Wilde — Hitler — gay marriage

Charlie Chaplin — Charlie Callas — Charlie Sheen

Campbell’s Soup – Rice-A-Roni – Ramen

DKW’s mom — sequined thong — nightmares

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Worst soup recipe EVER!

At the risk of Godwinning the thread, NO SOUP FOR YOU!

Jefferson Airplane — Jefferson Starship — Starship

John Wayne – Carol Wayne – Victoria Jackson

Cool Hand Luke — Jailhouse Rock — Chained Heat

At the risk of Godwinning the thread

You know who else liked to tangle up string?

Jefferson Airplane — Jefferson Starship — Starship

Rich Lowry – Sarah, Sarah – Starbursts are brewing in your eyes

Jefferson Airplane — Jefferson Starship — Starship

You’re a cruel, cruel woman. Have you considered entering the vast librarian/dominatrix field of employment?

You know who else liked to tangle up string?

The Cheshire Cat — Garfield — Kitler

Godzilla — Dino — Barney

Death Star – Mr Potato Head – SDI

You know who else liked to tangle up string?

KITLER THAT’S WHO

Have you considered entering the vast librarian/dominatrix field of employment?

Oh, yeah. I’ve even had cards printed up.

I’ve even had cards printed up.

Scratch and sniff bleed?

Linda Blair – Tony Blair – Kathryn Jean Lopez

Madonna – RuPaul – Lady Gaga

Star Wars – Two decades of merchandising – Jar Jar

Colossus — Hal 9000 — Windows

Know-Nothings – Teabaggers – Sack-o-Hammers Party

Krazy Kat-Calvin and Hobbes-Marmaduke

Will Rogers – Mr. Rogers – Kenny Rogers

Scratch and sniff bleed?

Yes. I also have all of my implements classified by the Library of Congress system.

Frederick Opper – Herblock – Michael Ramirez

Colossus — Hal 9000 — Windows

For – The – Win

. I also have all of my implements classified by the Library of Congress system.

Damn. I’ve never understood that.

Daffy Duck – Doonesbury – Mallard Fillmore

Mellotron – Drum Machine -Autotune

Mallard Filmore — funny — alternate universe

Upton Sinclair – Woodward & Bernstein – James O’Keefe

My pants are off — What are you wearing? — Are you there?

to amend the above:
rich lowry-sarah palin–millions of potential rich lowrys cleaned up by a tissue

also

schnitzle–spaetzel–hitler

and
chambermaid–chamberlain–chamberpot–hitler

Shakespeare — Michelangelo — Bil Keane

Theremon – Positron – Autotune

Trek — Wars — Gate

GACK!

Damn you, Spag!

Johnny Carson – Jay Leno – Dane Cook

Holy fucking shit. Tell a working artist there’s a new thread, willya?

Rock – Scissors – Goldberg

Jeez, vs, we’re only 140 comments in!

Casual racism — Soliosis fetish — Day by Day cartoon by Chris Muir

Karl Marx – Marks and Spencer – WalMart

Tolkein- Terry Goodkind – Stephanie Meyer.

Betty Boop – Judy Holliday – Sarah Palin

Holy fucking shit. Tell a working artist there’s a new thread, willya?

There’s a new thread.

Movie set in Arkansas – But filmed in Toronto – Named after some other place

At the risk of sounding like a complete moron (because I never do anything halfway) is it just supposed to be a one-thing-leading-to-other thing only ridiculous?

Lucianne Goldberg—A Rube Goldberg Contraption—Jonah Goldberg

At the risk of sounding like a complete moron (because I never do anything halfway) is it just supposed to be a one-thing-leading-to-other thing only ridiculous?

Walsh thinks modern revolutions proceed to despotism. Everyone else is funnier.

Whole-wheat lasagna with organic tomatoes and garlic sauce – boiled fettucini with store-bought romano cheese – Kraft Mac’n’Cheese

Salt – Tequila – Lime

That Was The Week That Was – SNL Weekend Update – Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me!

Representational art — abstract impressionism — manga

Dammit! I thought of a really good one while peeing and now I’m coming up short!

is it just supposed to be a one-thing-leading-to-other thing only ridiculous?

“Classic” would be

Bad but tolerable – seemingly better – intolerably bad

each leading to the other (or at least following each other chronologically)

Of course, we can’t be arsed to play by the rules.

Warren Court – Burger Court – Roberts Court

Limericks with bad meter – Haiku with no kigo – The lyrics to Like a G6

Seduction — virgins — sex tape machine

Immaculate Reception – Bills lose 4 Super Bowls in a Row – Nipplegate.

KKK – John Birchers – Teabaggers

Y A Tittle – Dan Marino – Ben Roethlisberger

Humphrey Bogart – Dennis Hopper – Mark Wahlberg.

Liberace – Rock Hudson – John Boehner

(HA! That was the one!)

Do what they say – Say what you mean – One thing leads to another

WFL – USFL – XFL

Slavery — Jim Crow — Barack Obama

Ow I think I broked my brane.

John Derbyshire — Lolita — “I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to pay to replace this book.”

Hampster Dance – Lolcats – Fred Figglehorn

Mad Magazine – Crack’d – The Weekly Standard

Marquis de Sade – Aleister Crowley – John Derbyshire

V – W – xXx

Jim Crow – Sheryl Crow – Monica Crowley

Father Coughlin – William F. Buckley – “Little” Billy Kristol

Moe Gandhi -> Marty Luther King -> Glenn Beck

Smurfs – Teletubbies – Boohbahs

Mad Magazine – Crack’d – The Weekly Standard

lulz

Huey Long – George Wallace – Rick Perry

Addy Hitler – Joey Stalin – Newty Gingrich

Awshit. This aint the kind of thread to be jumping into late. You fuckers.

Dick Cheney — heart removal — Dick Cheney

John Derbyshire — Lolita — “I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to pay to replace this book.”

rofl…ewwwww

Pedantic note: when he sez ‘Weimar Republic’ he means Stresemann.

Also, the Weimar Republic didn’t really come out of a revolution as such, did it?

Zep — Bobby Plant and the Honeydrippers — Priory of Bri

VPR – VMR – VER

Dammit! I thought of a really good one while peeing and now I’m coming up short!

That’s better than coming up short while peeing and thinking of a really good one now.

Beginning – Middle – Hitler

*whispers* thanks to Subby and pedestrian. Still not seeing a distinct pattern. *backs quietly out of thread*

VPR – VMR – VER

Interest! – Newsletter? – Website?

Kitler — Bonsai Kitten — some joke about Axis Powers than I can’t quite figure out

Steve Reeves – Christopher Reeves – Keanu Reeves

(also James Dean – Sylvester Stallone – Nicholas Cage)

Kennedy/Monroe – Clinton/Lewinsky – Bush/Saudi Arabian Royal Family

Worse than a thousand Hitlers – Worse than a hundred Hitlers – Worse than algore

British Empire – Soviet Empire – Empire of the Senseless

Awshit. This aint the kind of thread to be jumping into late.

You fuckers — you fuckees — you fucked

Spaghetti Lee – Wasting Time – Sense of non-fulfillment at end of day.

Kitler — Bonsai Kitten — some joke about Axis Powers than I can’t quite figure out

Hmmmmmmmmmm…

Maybe…

Kitler — Bonsai Kitten — Ayatollah Kitmani?

Dracula – Interview with the Vampire – Twilight

You know who else liked to draw specious connections?

Lesley Gore—-Al Gore—The Saw Franchise

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow – Casper, the Friendly Ghost – Ann Coulter

There needs to be some corollary of Godwin’s Law that covers KITLER.

Silvio Berluskitty.

Al Gore – Michael Moore – someone Most

W–VodkaPretzels–Faceplant.

Kitty Amin

Silvio Berluskitty

That’s the girlfriend’s nickname.

Louis XVI – Robespierre – BLOODY ARROGANT FRENCH BASTARDS

Groucho Marx – Karl Marx – Zeppo Marx

You know who else liked to draw specious connections?

Charles Darwin!!

Karl Marx—Groucho Marx—Richard Marx

Nixon: “I’m not a crook” – Clinton: “I did not have sex” – Bush: “What? Me worry?”

Moammar Cathafi

Kitler — Bonsai Kitten — some joke about Axis Powers than I can’t quite figure out

Kitler –Bonsai Kitten — Manxollini

Pussolini?

Dinosaurs — morons — missionary lizards

Missionary lizards — learning to play guitar — my new band name

There’s a woman who knows/All that glitters is gold – With the lights out, it’s less dangerous/here we are now, entertain us – Baby Baby Baby Oooooh

Thesis – Antithesis – Synthesis

FYWP

There’s a woman who knows/All that glitters is gold – With the lights out, it’s less dangerous/here we are now, entertain us – Baby Baby Baby Oooooh

You realize that’s a circular reference, and so could work with any starting or stopping point?

Monty Python – Kids In the Hall – FOX News

Lets pretend that “Vodka” is struck through and give a hearty FU to WordPress.

Cat Jong Il

Lenin – Stalin – Limbaugh

Tora! Tora! Tora!

Ivan’s been a Terrible kitty, yes you have – coo coo coo

Solar System – Binary Star – HOLY SHIT!

You realize that’s a circular reference, and so could work with any starting or stopping point?

To seem smart, I’ll pretend I did that on purpose.

Idi Amin — Babar — Nelson Mandela

AC/DC – Pantera – Mikail Gorbachev

Godzilla–Gamera–Pikachu

Gram Parsons – The Dixie Chicks – Toby Keith

Archie and Mehitabel — Family Circus — Day By Day

Romulus & Remus – Mowgli – Megadeth

Warren Court – Burger Food Court – Roberts Court

ftfy

Monty Python – Weird Al -YouTube

Warren Court – Food Court – Roberts Court

Y’know, this does work better…

Gomulka — Walesa — Mazowicki

I calls ’em like I sees ’em

Kimchi – Bibimbap – teh lunch bill

Boggis — Bunce — Bean

Spike Jones – Al Yankovic – Tenacious D

Will Rogers – Mr. Rogers – Kenny Rogers

Ginger Rogers- Roy Rogers- Hedgecock Rogers

The Bible — Quiverfulls — prolapsed uterus

70’s Michael Jackson – 80’s Michael Jackson – 90’s Michael Jackson

Danzig- Shakira- Hilarity

Rusted Root – The Roots – Megan Kelly

Rigorous exercise program – occasional jog – sleeping ’til noon.

Smoke Signals – Semaphore – Twitter

Snow day — hot toddy — nap

Tri-weekly – try weekly – try weakly

The French- Fags- Both

Jack Lalanne – Jane Fonda – Richard Simmons

Bookmark- This- Libs!

The internet — ADHD — “Mom, can I come live with you?”

Sasquatch — Is — Real

Ricky Ricardo – Ritchie Valens – Ricky Martin

Iron Eyes Cody – Crying Eagle – John Boehner

Awshit. This aint the kind of thread to be jumping into late. You fuckers
ditto

Edmund Burke – Anthony Comstock – Ross Douthat

glenn beck — sarah palin — giant black hole of stupidity

David Brooks — salad bar at Applebee’s — go home hungry

POOP — Jonah Goldberg — PENIS

Schopenhauer – Eisenhower – Jack Bauer

Danzig- Shakira- Hilarity

Best. Mash-up. EVAR!

Buck Leonard – Buck Cherry – Buck off!

Jesus – Pope John Paul II – the Anchoress

Karl Manx– Bertrand Russian Blue – Himalayn Rand

The Spanish Inquisition – The McCarthy Hearings – Michelle Malkin

The Illuminati – Reptoids- Koch Brothers

Maine Coon – Egyptian MauMau – Russian Jew

Danzig- Shakira- Hilarity

Best. Mash-up. EVAR!

INTEREST.

Joseph Smith – Brigham Young – Mitt Romney

Peoples Temple at Jonestown – Branch Davidians – Glenn Beck’s audience

BTW…I get it now. (I swear!) I’m just in a groove, art-wise.

This Modern World – Subnormality – Better Days

Boggis — Bunce — Bean

I swoon.

Anakin Skywalker – Luke Skywalker – Star Wars fans cosplaying Skywalkers

VS — T&U — BOOBIES!!!

I get it now. (I swear!) I’m just in a groove, art-wise.

I don’t think there was ever an “it” to “get”. Just random hilarity.

And this thread is what took me out of a groove, art-wise. I managed to draw a whole torso before I found my daily distraction.

Satan – Cthulhu – Rush Limbaugh

I managed to draw a whole torso before I found my daily distraction.

You got a torso? I only drew an arm.

Some people have all the luck …

**shoves hands in pockets, kicks at ground**

Starbursts — Rich Lowry — new pants

The Wheel – The Internet – Baconaise

shirley temple–roy rogers–teetotallers

Jeffrey Dahmer – Hannibal Lecter – Paula Deen

LOLcats – Walrus Bukkit – Don Surber in lingerie

Drawing a whole torso – drawing a whole arm – sitting on ass in front of fireplace youtube surfing

Bert- Evil Bert- Peter Orszag

Catholics – Lutherans – Baptists

Funny, I don’t feel any better.

Da Vinci – Warhol – Kinkade

Mary Magdalen – Mary Matalin – Megyn Kelly

Foxy Brown- Dan Brown- Doo Doo Brown

SDS – SLA – NOM

Pope Urban II- Pope Urban III- Pope Urban Dictionary

Aloha! – Ola! – Papers, please!

Sha- Na- Na

And this thread is what took me out of a groove, art-wise. I managed to draw a whole torso before I found my daily distraction.

I’m trying NOT to get out of the groove. S,N is like frickin’ catnip to me.

Johnny- Joey- Dee Dee

Pope John Paul – Pope John Paul II – Pope John Paul George and Ringo

Knock knock – Who’s there ? – The Spanish Inquisition
Thank you – You’re welcome – The Spanish Inquisition
Paper – Plastic – The Spanish Inquisition
Breakfast – Lunch – The Spanish Inquisition
The Holy Grail – No thanks, we’ve already got one – The Spanish Inquisition

Da Vinci – Warhol – Kinkade

Rueben Kincaid- Thomas Kinkade- Hideous Kinkade

Paper- Plastic- Bertrand

Alpha male – Alpha and Omega – Alfalfa sprouts

Peter Paul Rubens – Paul Reubens – Ruben Sandwich – Ruben Studdard

Paper- Plastic- Bertrand

Ca plane boite c’est moi

Oral sex — anal sex — yiffing

Sex with actor’s mom – horrifying infectious diseases – sex with actor’s mom again

Mickey Kaus — Fucking a goat — Ann Althouse

Cute little kitties – catnip – crystal meth

Hyperbole — McCarthyism — Frank Gaffney

Sex with actor’s mom – horrifying infectious diseases – sex with actor’s mom again

Really? You think sloppy seconds is worse? Cuz that’s not what I’ve exp– I mean, YOU’RE MOM’S THE WHORE!

Cute little kitties – catnip – crystal meth

Catnap- Catnip- Catnups

The Battle of Hastings – The Battle of Gettysburg – a woman in a parking garage with only a ten round clip instead of fifteen

Mickey Mouse – Mickey Kaus – Andrew Breitbart

Rueben Kincaid- Thomas Kinkade- Hideous Kinkade

i snorted…out loud…

Sarah Palin — lost glasses — worse than what happened to Oedipus

me–office full of fundraiser chocolates–diabetic coma

Ooh, you people are so funny.

Catnap- Catnip- Catnups

That made me laff extra-much.

Snow – Ice – OMFG!

Wall Street — K Street — Skid Row

Civil Unions – Gay Marriage – Santorum’s dog

FYWP — FYWP with a rake — FYWP with a rusty garden weasel

The Black Plague — The Holocaust — Raising the top marginal tax rate a couple of points

Snow – Ice – OMFG!
LULZ!

Without teh funnay,

http://thinkprogress.org/2011/02/02/gaffney-muslim-brother/

Stylus – WP – blink once for yes

Human Rights – Civil Rights – Never-Rights

Snow – Ice – OMFG!

me–ice–omfg!

this is equally true whether i am slipping on it or that’s all that’s left in my cocktail glass…

Answering the door and finding:

Jehovah’s Witnesses – Hitler – Hitler, but he’s a Jehovah’s Witness

Gaffe – Gaffney – Nancy Kerrigan

hot pockets–bathrobe–gaffigan

Wall Street — K Street — Skid Row

K Street- C Street- Jump Street

Gaffe – Gaffney – Nancy Kerrigan

Nancy Kerrigan- Sarah Kerrigan- Zergling Rush

Edward R Murrow – Walter Cronkite – Bill O’Reilly

Need food — the prospect of putting on pants and going into the snow — Rice Chex for dinner

Interest – website – newsletter

Holy shit! They’re shutting down campus tomorrow, too!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA:

“Reporters, including CNN’s Cooper, beaten in Egypt”

Of course, not by the peaceful protesters just yearning for self-government and individual liberty. No. Because we all know the only thuggery exists on the side of the government who has insisted for years that it’s just not right to try to eliminate the Jews.

Theater.

In a way, Cooper got lucky. Had the little swish visited Egypt once the Muslim Brotherhood takes power he likely would have been buried up to his chest in the sand and then stoned to death with rocks and very unstylish sandals.

For freedom.

“Swish” is an anti-gay slur BTW.

Get off my cloud! – Get off my back! – Get off my lawn!

I have to tell you, just this afternoon, I had a confidential meeting with some senior conservative leaders to warn them about an influence operation against the conservative movement. They don’t want to hear it either! This is endemic.

no, it’s not…you are just bat-shit crazy, dood…

Protein – wisdom – smegma

koch brothers – tea party – sharia law

“Swish” is an anti-gay slur BTW.</i

But it's Gay Jeff Gaystein, so it's OK, of course.

I wouldn’t slap Jeff Goldstein with Anderson Cooper’s cock.

Oh, apparently they shut down I-70 here?

HTML – tag – fail

task – a beer first – not gonna happen

prospect of putting pants on
Interest – website – newsletter?

Need food — the prospect of putting on pants and going into the snow — Rice Chex for dinner

This reminds me of my freshman year, when everyone went home for the first big holiday and I was trapped on a locked, deserted campus in the middle of nowhere without food or money (the ATM was locked up too)… during a blizzard. I survived for three days on uncooked instant rice and the snacks that I could shake loose from the vending machine.

Get off my cloud! – Get off my back! – Get off my lawn!

hugh hefner–(butt secks)–dennis weaver–mick jagger saying “hey, hugh…get offa mccloud!”

Holy shit! They’re shutting down campus tomorrow, too!

are your rice chex going to hold through tomorrow?

Wheat Chex – Rice Chex – Bounced Chex

F – Y – WP

Holy shit! They’re shutting down campus tomorrow, too!

Last Thursday, a bunch of NYU students were having a massive snowball fight in Washington Square Park.

are your rice chex going to hold through tomorrow?

More importantly, how is the booze holding up?

are your rice chex going to hold through tomorrow?

They’ve plowed enough that I can get out. I’m not sure why they’re closing campus tomorrow, except that maybe the more suburban-type residential areas haven’t been plowed yet.

“This reminds me of my freshman year, when everyone went home for the first big holiday and I was trapped on a locked, deserted campus in the middle of nowhere without food or money (the ATM was locked up too)… during a blizzard. I survived for three days on uncooked instant rice and the snacks that I could shake loose from the vending machine.” — tweak — best-selling Stephen King novel

Robert Muldoon-John Key- ex Robert Muldoon

Need food — the prospect of putting on pants and going into the snow — Rice Chex for dinner

No groceries- foot and a half of snow- Donner Party

are your rice chex going to hold through tomorrow?

More importantly, how is the booze holding up?

Keep in mind the rice chex can only improve the taste of cheap liquor.

tweak — best-selling Stephen King novel

Why tweak? That’s about the length of one of his earlier novels.

donner party–trey parker–cannibal! the musical

Keep in mind the rice chex can only improve the taste of cheap liquor.

In a pinch, you can ferment the rice chex to make hobo sake.

Holy shit! They’re shutting down campus tomorrow, too!

Jesus Christ, I can’t believe it. There’s going to be hell to pay when classes finally start again. I don’t know if my profs are just going to cut out a week of course material or what.

Of course, not by the peaceful protesters just yearning for self-government and individual liberty. No. Because we all know the only thuggery exists on the side of the government who has insisted for years that it’s just not right to try to eliminate the Jews.

There are words here, and I even see some punctuation, but it’s not quite a sentence.

More importantly, how is the booze holding up?

Still have cheap whiskey (and Diet Dr. Pepper), a liiiitle Maker’s Mark, and some Absolut Pepar that I was using for Bloody Marys, but could also make a good martini with a banana pepper garnish, I think.

And I have frozen leftovers and could make some bread and have sandwiches. I’m just being a baby.

Rice chex-hobo sake- the blind leading the blind

Brad Pitt 8==> Jennifer Aniston 8==> Angelina Jolie
You 8==> that self-loathing fat chick 8==> Kathryn Lopez

Because we all know the only thuggery exists on the side of the government who has insisted for years that it’s just not right to try to eliminate the Jews.

Yes. Goodness knows Hosni Mubarak has been force one in trying to rid the world of Israel….

You Ross Douthat 8==> that self-loathing fat chick 8==> Kathryn Lopez

FTFY

I’m just being a baby.

*packing suitcase*

Oh….BEING a baby….*whew*

Egypt — HCR — Lazy Americans

Jesus Christ, I can’t believe it. There’s going to be hell to pay when classes finally start again. I don’t know if my profs are just going to cut out a week of course material or what.

Yeah, Tuesday/Thursday classes are completely shot this week. I don’t know, either. I’m not looking forward to finding a place on my boss’s calendar to re-schedule the small group sessions we had to cancel, as that sort of thing usually involves the expectation that I can somehow bend the laws of space and time.

I’m just being a baby.

Quick, write something awful and subliterate, and watch the wingnut welfare swell your coffers!

Joseph Smith – L. Ron Hubbard – Glenn Beck

Jesus Christ, I can’t believe it. There’s going to be hell to pay when classes finally start again. I don’t know if my profs are just going to cut out a week of course material or what.

Spring break in South Bend!*

*substitute any college town

You 8==> that self-loathing fat chick 8==> Kathryn Lopez

I’ve had this dream before ^^

Beck 8=> Hannity 8=> Huckabee 8=> Palin

Joseph Smith – L. Ron Hubbard – Glenn Beck

We have a winner/wiener.

Most Scots – Rick Santorum – Gene David Fosdick

FYWP

Beck 8=> Hannity 8=> Huckabee 8=> Palin

I’m trying to figure out the mechanics of this and making myself pukey.

Fire in the disco- fire in the Taco Bell- danger, high voltage

“-hobo sake-”

There is NOTHING wrong with this combination of words.

Beck 8=> Hannity 8=> Huckabee 8=> Palin

Koo Koo Choo Choo

Gene David Fosdick

A new personal hero.

Yeah, Tuesday/Thursday classes are completely shot this week.

Maybe I just have a bad perspective from living on-campus (and not being aware of all the commuters and off-campus people who might be more stranded), but I just can’t believe this is necessary. The streets are cleared off in this part of town. I’d rather go to class tomorrow than know that I’ll have to shove 2 weeks of curriculum into one week at some point.

It’s not like I don’t like the time off, but it feels like almost too much. Maybe because I’m a little nerd who grew up always following all the rules, my consciousness is freaking out at getting three days off, scot-free, without any consequences.

I’m trying to figure out the mechanics of this and making myself pukey.

It’s kind of like a human centipede without the humans.

British Empire – Soviet Empire – Empire of the Senseless

hey now.

Bottled water – flavored water – vitamin water

Maybe because I’m a little nerd who grew up always following all the rules, my consciousness is freaking out at getting three days off, scot-free, without any consequences.

I miss all-day cuts…

It’s not like I don’t like the time off, but it feels like almost too much.

How about starting a massive snowball fight in the main campus quad?

Maybe I just have a bad perspective from living on-campus (and not being aware of all the commuters and off-campus people who might be more stranded), but I just can’t believe this is necessary.

It doesn’t seem necessary to me, either, but I live right off the intersection of two major thoroughfares, and maybe they’re worried about residential areas not being plowed yet. I can understand them canceling public school, but that’s mostly because it’s supposed to be fucking FREEZING tomorrow.

It’s weird, too, because I think this is only the fourth time they’ve shut down campus (the first time was that crazy-ass storm in 2005 or 2006–I don’t know if you were here–god, I’m old), and three of those days have been this week.

Bottled water – flavored water – vitamin water

Heavy water- mineral water- powdered water

WHAT???!?!?!

(the first time was that crazy-ass storm in 2005 or 2006–I don’t know if you were here–god, I’m old)

*glaring*

*glaring*

Compared to him, I probably am! I’m a fucking townie at this point.

Maybe I just have a bad perspective from living on-campus (and not being aware of all the commuters and off-campus people who might be more stranded), but I just can’t believe this is necessary.

Spagetti just wants more of those car crash videos on teh You Toobz.

Pot – crack – Prozac

I’ll give you a hint. I didn’t have a driver’s license in 2006.

More importantly, how is the booze holding up?

at Zombie Villa, it’s pretty good; I made sure to mostly finish shoveling first, so I am just cracking one of the bottles now.

tomorrow everyone should be getting around pretty well, and the liquor stores will all be open and restocked….

Pot – crack – Prozac

Monday — Sunday — What Day Is It?

Pot – crack – Prozac

Worst Beatles song EVER!

jesus christ–andrew lloyd weber–worst musical ever

Spagetti just wants more of those car crash videos on teh You Toobz

That’s mostly guys spinning out on purpose. I used to do that on an old air-strip at my school when I was bored. I like this one.

Most Scots – Rick Santorum – Gene David Fosdick

FYWP
Weird. I went to college with the deputy DA named in that story.

but that’s mostly because it’s supposed to be fucking FREEZING tomorrow.

it is a balmy 7 degrees fahrenheit above zero here right now!!! we are supposed to hit the 30s this weekend…and then back to the deep freeze…effing weather…how does it work?

Sub, I know it was just controlled spins. I ruined my ABS and slip protection doing that nonsense. I didn’t want to be one of those sickos who find the one with deaths.

“-hobo sake-”

How long does it take to render the hobo?

Mubark — Great — I’m Being Paid to Say this

I’ll give you a hint. I didn’t have a driver’s license in 2006.

You’re not one of those idiots who commutes to class on skateboards, are you? God, I hate them.

Also, I keep seeing young men wearing pajama pants with Homer Simpson and basketballs and shit walking around campus. Are they 8 years old? How do they get laid? Why won’t they stay off my lawn?

How long does it take to render the hobo?

You can’t possibly be that hungry.

Also, I keep seeing young men wearing pajama pants with Homer Simpson and basketballs and shit walking around campus.

Hey, some of us only get to do laundry once a month!

Vehicles on fire in Tahrir Square.

“How long does it take to render the hobo?”

I chuckled.

(Did I spell that correctly?!)

You’re not one of those idiots who commutes to class on skateboards, are you? God, I hate them.

I can happily say I don’t even know how to skateboard. Rule-following nerd, remember? By “I didn’t have one”, I meant “I wasn’t old enough”, not that I had some alternate transportation.

Yeah, pajamas in public is an invention of my generation. Keeping in the spirit of the thread, Sweatpants – pajama bottoms – public nudity by the time my little brother goes to college.

Vehicles on fire in Tahrir Square.

Did you realize that more people are killed on the streets of Philadelphia each day than in Cairo?

public nudity by the time my little brother goes to college.

*koffkoffWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE*

Let me tell you about da shtreaking! Ven I vuz a child….

<i.Did you realize that more people are killed on the streets of Philadelphia each day than in Cairo?

What are you, actor? A Mooslim Brutha Hood member?

What are you, actor? A Mooslim Brutha Hood member?

Sorry, I was time travelling. I thought we were talking about Baghdad in 2004, and I was Chris Wallace.

Tag — Fail — high on crack, pot and prozac.

I’ll give you a hint. I didn’t have a driver’s license in 2006.

The girls were doing it when I was in college, honestly. They’d come to class in a full face of makeup and with their hair styled, though, which I never understood. But at least the dudes wore track pants.

the streak–real country radio–a daily annoyance in my life

I was time travelling

How does the future look?

Let me tell you about da shtreaking! Ven I vuz a child….

Well, thank you for putting the image of an old Jewish grandfather streaking across campus into my head. Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m stuck inside.

How does the future look?

*taking off shades*

Can’t tell you. It would violate Stone Cutter law.

Snowball fight on the quad tomorrow!

I heard it on the radio. That’s how hip I am.

Well, thank you for putting the image of an old Jewish grandfather streaking across campus into my head. Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m stuck inside.

Where it can fester and swell until you wake up with night terrors, certain there’s a naked septuganerian serial killer named Morris outside your door….BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

Did somebody say crashes? I think you can see me and our dear beloved Vasco in about one frame, maybe two at the very start.

Where it can fester and swell until you wake up with night terrors, certain there’s a naked septuganerian serial killer named Morris outside your door….BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

Of course, now I’ve got Vincent Price’s monologue in Thriller stuck inside my head…

Moar importantly, how are investors being affected by the protests?!

I want to know how this affects Sarah Palin

Moar importantly, how are investors being affected by the protests?!

ahhhhh, yes! my faux news loving mother had this very same query just yesterday…she doesn’t know beans about the market, but she has become very worried about them since she started watching that crap…

What part did Charlie Sheen play in the Egypt protests? Find out the shocking truth! Tonight! On GlennBeck…

Did somebody say crashes?

That is one of the most pathetically sad things I’ve ever seen.

Which reminds me of the time my cousin said that her daughter (Portland-born and raised) was complaining about the heat because it was 80 degrees out.

I want to know how this affects Sarah Palin

well, they all hate her, obviously, which makes baby jesus cry…

she doesn’t know beans about the market, but she has become very worried about them since she started watching that crap…

Mostly because the markets tanked in coincident to the Egypt uprising, which creates uncertainty.

Of course, no one could possibly have known it was merely a time out on the part of investors, a market correction (possibly technical and computer driven), since the uncertainty has only risen higher, as have the markets…

Food -> Digestion -> SHIT!!

BWAHAHAHA Speaking of Palin, this made me LOL.

he last time a Democratic presidential candidate carried either South Dakota or Nebraska in a general election was the same year that the Beatles released their debut U.S. album. Yet if the Republican Party nominates Sarah Palin for president, two PPP polls indicate that President Obama would have a strong chance of bringing both states into the Democratic column for the first time in a half century.

say, has this been discussed yet?

actor – Muslim Brotherhood – Shania

actor – Muslim Brotherhood – Shania law

say, has this been discussed yet?

Well, it would be

If the link worked

South Dakota? Total-abortion-banning South Dakota? Mandatory-gun-ownership South Dakota? That South Dakota? Jesus, when you’ve lost South Dakota, you’ve lost Moran America. What the hell would she win? Utah and Kansas?

actor – Muslim Brotherhood – Shania law

I could think of a few laws I’d put her under…

hmmmm…me don’t know how to fix the linky…

say, has this been discussed yet?

link fixed.

thank you, dkw!

yahoo—google—Sadly No!

Moral Majority — Ronald Reagan — Fox News

Dickie Nixon — Ronald Reagan — Georgie Bush

Newt Gingrich — George W. Bush — Global Warming

OT, but the workplace wingnutz are discussing how watching TV news is better and cheaper than providing public high schools.

At least it’s CNN they think ought to replace public education and not Fox.

bleargh, thank you all for helping me stay sane.

OT, but the workplace wingnutz are discussing how watching TV news is better and cheaper than providing public high schools

yikes! they are kidding, right?

I’d love to see the consequence of a generation of children raised by CNN.

“Billy, did you complete your math homework for today?”

“Well, opinions differ as to whether or not the math homework was completed, or what “completed” even means. Let’s go to our expert panel!”

they are kidding, right?

Nope – one of them is the guy who’s constantly bitching about global warming being a scam and the scientists investigating it a bunch of greedy hucksters, and he’s partly paid out of a grant to the university’s Atmospheric Sciences department. He’s not stupid but he’s not very smart, if you take my meaning.

opinions differ as to whether or not the math homework was completed

LOL

or after getting a D- on it, “mistakes were made.”

Kansas

HEY!

Sorry, T&U. Utah and Idaho, then.

“Well, opinions differ as to whether or not the math homework was completed, or what “completed” even means. Let’s go to our expert panel!”

Great, now my teenager is a Sadlynaut. Is there no end to the madness?

Sorry, T&U. Utah and Idaho, then.

Thanks. Now I won’t have to make that joke about Chuck E. Cheeze after all.

Utah and Idaho, then.

No argument from this Utahn.

I’d be interested, in a hypothetical Obama-vs.-Romney/Thune/Daniels-vs.-Teabagger insurgent contest, how Obama does in the deep south. If the Republicans would split enough to give Obama say, Mississippi or Georgia with a 40-30-30- plurality.

re: Anderson Cooper

I dunno why teh wingnuts all have such a hate-on for teh Vanderbilt boy. He’s white as white can be, has an extremely affluent background -basically he’s from the right circles. And he’s fucking hardcore, having had his start as an amateur journalist that assigned himself to war zones around the world. Motherfucker is so badass that he’d never shoot a man to watch him die, because that would be boring.

Anyways, via matt Browner Hamlin via Atrios’ twitter – Jay Newton Small reminds me of why I found TIME’s Swampland such a fucking shithole of festering pustules.

I dunno why teh wingnuts all have such a hate-on for teh Vanderbilt boy

teh gheyness? or was that a rhetorical question?

Margaret Thatcher—Reaganomics—Cruella DeVille

teh gheyness?

1. Anderson doesn’t talk about his sexuality, so if he is ghey he’s a closeted queer. Repubs and conservatives love closeted queers. Often in airport bathrooms.

2. I’m totes heterosexual, but I’d guess that Anderson’s gheyness might be a big selling point amongst conservative men. I mean, he’s just so damn pretty.

Cooper was verrry mean *sniff* to the pore ole veteran Birther so I think the righties don’t like him no moar.

Cocksuckers — motherfuckers — marrying a box turtle.

I guess team loyalty trumps even fantasy-life. Because if I were a keyboard kommando, Anderson Cooper – big shot media personality jet setting to areas riven with violent conflict – would be my role model.

They really don’t like journalist-types…

Winston Churchill — Margaret Thatcher — George W Bush

cotton pickin’ — finger lickin — chicken plucker

Sucking cock is totally wrong
Unless they suck Your Author’s dong

“1. Anderson doesn’t talk about his sexuality, so if he is ghey he’s a closeted queer”

well, sorta. He’s fond of going out and about with his very hunky studmuffin partner. He never kept secret, more just being discreet.

e.e. cummings — ‘The Silent Miaow’ — LOLcats.

Sweet IPU, all praises to her obvious unvisibility! I just took a peek at Swampland and JNS’ lastest two posts are:
1. John McCain is Back! Hooray!
2. Looks like 2012 will see a wave election sweeping the GOP into Senate control.

FFS, Reince Priebus isn’t working as hard at selling RNC PR BS as Jay Newton-Small.

Cyclone Yasi – giant blizzard – algore is fat!

Azathoth – Yog-Sothoth – Wilbur Whatley

Napoleonic wars – Income tax – My fucking landlady won’t fix my shower tiles

Cyclone Yasi – giant blizzard – algore is fat!

LOL

say, has this been discussed yet?

That article doesn’t do it justice at all. The idjit is trying to make a point about the mandate, namely that it’s UNCONSATUSHUL. Trouble is, the Militia Act of 1792, signed into law by George Washington, madated that every able bodied etc. man equip himself with a gun and powder and lead and so on. Which was a considerable burden to many.

True, the HCR mandate is based in the commerce clause so it’s not exactly the right precedent but none the less, teh gubblemint can indeed mandate your private market purchase.

PHTPHTPHTPTPHTPTHTTTPHPTTT

Well that’s settled then. Anne Coulter has settled the “large magazine” question once and for all.

In fact, high-capacity mags put a predator like Loughner at a disadvantage because they are so long, unwieldy and difficult to conceal. This may be why the Tucson shooting appears to be the first spree killing involving a high-capacity magazine. It would have been easier for Loughner to bring two guns.

Source: one of the numerous Human Events spams I received today.

Hmmm, ways to achieve a higher body-count in the Tucson shootings…

By Anne Coulter’s logic, it should be legal to own a tank. Who wouldn’t see that coming?

I can’t think of a clever reason to post this but I’m going to do it anyway because it’s so damn cute.

Peej!

This is genius.

Somebody certainly has an ear to the hip food market ground!

By Anne Coulter’s logic,,,

BWAAAhahAHahAHAHAHAhHAHAHAAAHAHAAHAHA!!!

Whooo, that’s a funneh one there. hee hee.

I can’t think of a clever reason to post this but I’m going to do it anyway because it’s so damn cute.

Fuuuuuuck, that hurt!

Fuuuuuuck, that hurt!

Hm. Not the reaction I’d have expected.

I know, right?

Lotsa hot chicks at jezebels.

William O Douglas – Wendy O Williams – Obama

Heh, hadn’t seen that yet. Olympic Provisions is a damn fine salumeria charcuterie. The sauce grabiche is perfect for the crispy trotter terrine.

Hm. Not the reaction I’d have expected.

It’s like my hormones know I’ve turned thirty without having a kid–my people breed young.

Lotsa hot chicks at jezebels.

Not since I stopped posting there.

The sauce grabiche is perfect for the crispy trotter terrine.

You’re not helping.

The Sorrows of Young Werther- –Daytime Soaps— Snooki

Crack Whore — Assistant Crack Whore — Assistant Crack Whore Trainee

Crack addict — crack whore — Sarah Palin

what?!

You’re not helping.

Missing the big sausage?

Palestinian Authority ->Mike Huckabee->Greater Israel

Crank addict — Sarah Palin — crank addict

Missing the big sausage?

You dick.

(I hope it’s clear that’s a joke, btw).

I didn’t understand the inciting link at all, so I can’t get started with this here thread. How does this work?

1. Make up a list of names loosely connected by some idear you had
2. ???
3. WOLVERINES!!!

Is that essentially correct?

(I hope it’s clear that’s a joke, btw).

Absolutely. Whale Chowder’s dick is a joke.

Spengler:

Yes.

Is that essentially correct?

Yes.

Absolutely. Whale Chowder’s dick is a joke.

Did his mom tell you that, or your mom?

“Crossroads” – “Cocaine” – “Wonderful Tonight”

I’ll reprise mine from Roy’s thread:

Curly -> Shemp -> Joe.

That article doesn’t do it justice at all. The idjit is trying to make a point about the mandate, namely that it’s UNCONSATUSHUL. Trouble is, the Militia Act of 1792, signed into law by George Washington, madated that every able bodied etc. man equip himself with a gun and powder and lead and so on. Which was a considerable burden to many.

“On Point” had a show recently with several Constitutional scholars and the number of them that thought the unconstitutional argument held any water at all = ZERO.

Yes.

Yes to me, or yes to Spengler?

Yes.

Late to the party!

“Crossroads” – “Cocaine” – “Wonderful Tonight”

Yes.

Ah, I see.

Wait, what?

“Crossroads” – “Cocaine” – “Wonderful Tonight”

Awesome. And it even works on two levels!

Well in that case, B?o ??i – Henry Kissinger – the Vietnamese lady who runs Fairy Nails down the street.

Yes.

In the other, more sophisticated parts of the internet, Bo Dai with accents doesn’t have any question marks. Hi, WordPress, how’s your mom? Never mind, I’ll ask her myself.

Oh man…I’m tired an I got nothin’. It’s like makin’ my arts uses up all of my funny juice reserves or something.

(I hope it’s clear that’s a joke, btw).

My guffaw says yes yes yes.

I love the names of Korean nail places. I used to go to Queenly Nails.

My guffaw says yes yes yes.

I was pretty sure it was, but I feel like being nice tonight, and fucking tone on the internet, man.

You’re ALL DICKS!!! PENES!!!

Screw the wealth and opulence–I want the NAILS of royalty!

You know what’s weird? Everyone seems fixated on dick. Even guys who are “totes heterosexual”. Why is there no similar fixation on vajayjays?

T&U, you’ve recently shown signs of a more mellow, less embattled self. Have you had a hysterectomy?

You know what’s weird? Everyone seems fixated on dick. Even guys who are “totes heterosexual”. Why is there no similar fixation on vajayjays?

Speak for yourself.

that sort of thing usually involves the expectation that I can somehow bend the laws of space and time.

I spent some time as an Executive Assistant and my understanding was that I was being paid to take the blame for things.

I guess because dicks are so more in your face, so to speak. And symbolic of so many things…

T&U, you’ve recently shown signs of a more mellow, less embattled self. Have you had a hysterectomy?

Not that I know of…?

I spent some time as an Executive Assistant and my understanding was that I was being paid to take the blame for things.

Oh, that, too.

If people are performing secret hysterectomies–I AM OUTRAGED! And a little INRAGED too!

number of them that thought the unconstitutional argument held any water at all = ZERO.

The trouble is that Supreme Court justices are not constitutional scholars.

FFS! I have to stop with Swampland. I remember Michael Scherer taking long long JiSM3 knob polishing sessions during teh campaign but Jay Newton-Small is making that previous fawning coverage seem objective. As I mentioned, her latest two posts were a love letter to John McCain and a prediction of a 2012 GOP wave election. Well, I figured that perhaps looking at only two posts might be unrepresentative. It was – she is even more hacktastic than those two posts would lead you to believe.

3. Judge Roll died in the Loughner rampage. This makes the current judicial confirmation backlog even worse. Blame for the backlog is rests with both parties.
4. and I blockquote,

House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan did an admirable job rebutting President Obama’s state of the union speech tonight

But wait, there’s MOAR! Further in the post she talks about teh Bachmann response, noted for how crazy eyes managed to creep out all of America. She says nothing about whether it was good or bad and cites all of one person for an opinion on REPEAL THE SENATE’s speech. That one person? Irky Irksome.

Holy fucking shit.

Congratulations Jay Newton-Small, you have managed to make me think even less of your profession and your publication than I did before. And we’re talking about the home of Joe “neither the time nor the legal background to figure out who’s right” Klein.

If people are performing secret hysterectomies–I AM OUTRAGED! And a little INRAGED too!

Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’d notice.

Also, if I am, in actuality, demonstrably mellower, it’s probably because I’ll have three extra days off this week and I have a little pot.

Why is there no similar fixation on vajayjays?

wow, it’s like you’re new here.

Dicks put the dick into ridiculous

for vs, since I know how much she loves poetry.

VAGINA.

Also, if I am, in actuality, demonstrably mellower, it’s probably because I’ll have three extra days off this week and I have a little pot.

See? Health care is so expensive in this country because the minute we’re feeling down, we hack out our uteri. And all we needed was a couple days off and some maryjayjay.

FFS! I have to stop with Swampland.

You do, Wangchuck. You might as well just read Politico.

See? Health care is so expensive in this country because the minute we’re feeling down, we hack out our uteri.

Well, you know, Prozac can only do so much.

“for vs, since I know how much she loves poetry.

VAGINA.”

Oh boy. I’m not for thinking of vajayjays as foreign and disgusting things…but I really don’t want to smell random strange pussy.

God – Country – Notre Dame

Saw that tattoed on the large cross on the lower back of lady friend I once knew

I can’t believe you didn’t get sucked into the deep blue peepers of hunky dumbo-eared Ryan. He’s DREAMY

Oh boy. I’m not for thinking of vajayjays as foreign and disgusting things…but I really don’t want to smell random strange pussy.

They’re not actually pussy-scented. That would be appalling, even to people who like pussy.

Did I not read far enough? Well…I’m thankful I got it rong.

Actually, I’m sure there would be a market for it, just not for vadge poetry ladies.

Rule 34…sort of

Did I not read far enough? Well…I’m thankful I got it rong.

Me, too. Vagina photos are pretty risque for Salt Lake City–she’d probably be arrested for making books with crootch juice on them.

Wow. I’m 12. I laughed at “cooch juice”

Yeah, I had been Swampland-free for like over a year, until I saw that @JNSmall tweet about Anderson Cooper. What a fucking piece of shit she is.

Nevermind us–just talkin’ vaginas! Feel free to chime in…or change the subject…

Wait…what was the tweet?

Wow. I’m 12. I laughed at “cooch juice”

I actually originally had “cooch juice,” but I think I like “crootch juice” better. Mostly because it’s an inside joke with…myself…

Also too, teh reason us guys don’t talk so much about vadges is that you ladies hog the thread when the discussion turns to ladyparts.

Not that we mind. Feel free to talk about female genitalia as much as you’d like.

“hog the thread”

See? You guys just can’t stop.

Background, AC is in Cairo. He ends up swamped by pro-Mubarak counter-protestors and is physically assaulted.

Here is Jay Newton-Small’s response.

Dude, I know. Nevermind that SEVERAL reporters were assaulted in some way.

Also, I tend to think if you’re a reporter and you get the shit beaten out of you, you’re probably doing something right.

Wow. That’s profoundly stupid.

“Also, I tend to think if you’re a reporter and you get the shit beaten out of you, you’re probably doing something right.”

This.

Dude, I know.

Just filling in the working artist*.

*V-bowchikawowow-R

It sounds bucolic: the genitalia went grazing in the woods.

Just filling in the working artist*.

No, I was agreeing with you, not admonishing you.

On the upside, other people aren’t happy, either.

I do happen to be fixated on my “dick,” but uninterested in those of others.

“cooch juice”

That’s fuckin poetic, that is.

Not that we mind. Feel free to talk about female genitalia as much as you’d like.

recently I was at a function where a couple women sitting at the table started talking breastfeeding. Not being actor, I was relatively quiet. When I got up for more food, they laughed and asked if they drove me away; I said, no, it was an intriguing conversation, but I really had little to add.

AC is in Cairo

I don’t care for his work since he split up with DC

😉

So now they’re all hating on him? After he got punched in the head?
OH
YOUR
GOD [/Bender]

The trouble is that Supreme Court justices are not constitutional scholars.

Also not very smart, some of them.

Esp. if the thugs beating up the reporters are pro-Mubarak weasels, or actual forces of repression police-types.

“February 3, 2011 at 3:40

It sounds bucolic: the genitalia went grazing in the woods.”

I snorted unprettily.

He was mean to th’ old coot birther

I snorted unprettily.

That scares away the unicorns. Also, your manifest lack of virginity, too.

T&U, yeah I was pretty sure you were agreeing. Also thanks for pointing out that I’m not the only one being reminded of @JNSmall’s worth as a human being.

” but I really had little to add.”

You shouldn’t be shy about sharing your experiences feeding your zomblet

Feel free to talk about female genitalia as much as you’d like.

They’re GREAT for storage.

I follow a LOT of them, too, which is weird.

we hack out our uteri

DON’T JUDGE ME!

You follow a lot of female genitalia? Like, with a mop?

They’re GREAT for storage.

I keep a spare key up in there.

“That scares away the unicorns. Also, your manifest lack of virginity, too.”

Unicorns are into slut-shaming?!!!!!! My whole world has just been turned upside down!!!!

Like, with a mop?

Yes. I’m *that* good.

on the upside, other people aren’t happy either

Wait, JNS got the Douche of the Day award? GodDAMNIT I’ve been trying to get that one for years!

Unicorns are into slut-shaming?!!!!!!

You don’t want to know what they think of your earrings, neither.

Yes. I’m *that* good.

HAWT.

“You don’t want to know what they think of your earrings, neither.”

What the hell? I had no idea unicorns were basically bitchy gossipy uber-Christian sorority girls.

I had no idea unicorns were basically bitchy gossipy uber-Christian sorority girls.

White and horny. They’re basically the cast of American Pie.

What the hell?

Maybe you shouldn’t have worn those unicorn horn earrings.

Also, just to clarify – not an Anderson Cooper fanboi. He did impress me when he just reamed Landrieu during Katrina, but his work since then has been a lot of establishment buffing twaddle.

He is kinda cute, but I am totes heterosexual. Plus completely incompatible with someone that has seen as much death and misery as he has. Even Michael Ware took some time off for PTSD, but there’s the Vanderbilt boy going like the Energizer bunny – now reporting from inside the angry mob in Egypt. Kinda creepy there, Anderson.

I think he’s a robot.

I like my men like I like my unicorns–white and horny.

Nope. Sounds racist. Might bes good for some White Power dating service though…

Is anybody else here a virgin?

I like my men like I like my unicorns: mythical and attracted to virgins.

“Also, just to clarify – not an Anderson Cooper fanboi.”

You should be able to starburst over whomever you like. Fanboy away.

“February 3, 2011 at 4:02

Is anybody else here a virgin?”

DK-W just talks big.

Is anybody else here a virgin?

Your mom?

You’re Jesus, aren’t you?

You should be able to starburst over whomever you like.

Oh, I do. Just wanted to clarify that point because looking back over my comments, it sure seems like I’m very protective of the Vanderbilt boy.

Very, very late to the party…and it was a l-o-n-g catch-up. 582 comments.

Now I haz a sad because nobody seems to be playing the Three Linked Things game anymore.

“sure seems like I’m very protective of the Vanderbilt boy.”

I didn’t take it that way. But I have GODLIKE POWERS OF PERCEPTION. All your minds R belong to me!

People are still playing sporadically, Variants.

Is anybody else here a virgin?

I’m starting to wish I were.

There is shooting, tear gas & you name it in Cairo as I type!

DK-W just talks big.

VPR

Mercedes-Benz –> Milton Bradley (games) –> Muslim Brotherhood –> Milton Bradley (ballplayer) –> Malignant Bouffant

Now I haz a sad because nobody seems to be playing the Three Linked Things game anymore.

Some of us suck at it.

Branes-branes-branes.

See?

You’re Jesus, aren’t you?

I’m the author of God. Similar.

Pics or it didn’t…

Branes-branes-branes.

O shit I hope I don’t trigger M. Bouffant.

I’m the author of God. Similar.

I haven’t gotten to that part of your book. Don’t spoil it.

Dammit. That’s what I get for not quoting.

Makin’ arts–gettin’ paid–fuckin’ around on S,N

NABPL -> Dead Ball Era -> Merkle’s Boner*

*VbaseballR

I’m starting to wish I were.

There is shooting, tear gas & you name it in Cairo as I type!

Are these two…related in any way?

Is anybody else here a virgin?

at what?

I’ve been riveted on Eygpt.

For the Aljazeera followers. There is a fine Google map link that you can push in for tight detail. I keep it in a seperate window with another open to the live feed. I’ve been doing tactical analysis.

You can be damn sure there is a US intel satellite parked right above the Delta now…tracking crowd formation and movement, military vehicular movement and working the military freqs. The Egyptian Army–from the first–is the key.

Also, to those simple-minded Faux shit-for-brains who try to make out Aljazeera as some Al Qaeda propaganda arm, consider this: In US crisis monitoring centers, they damn sure are not watching US cable or broadcast news as closely as Aljazeera.

Okay, not even the Three Linked Things game can keep me here. Back to Egypt.

It’s been fun to read, even though I didn’t get to play. Actor was really on a roll in this one!

I’m the author of God. Similar.

But you guys are related, right?

Hitler -> Hitler -> Sheikh Barack Nasser bin Hamad Al Khalifa Hussein Obama

I’m the author of God. Similar.

But you guys are related, right?

Jesus is my kid. I wanted him to be a boxer but during the big fight he got nailed with a right cross.

WTH?! It’s like five o clock in the morning in Cairo. You can’t be rioting at that hour! It’s uncivilized!

So I see, VS. I’ll stay, get some coffee, and toss some stuff in. It looks like fun!

For the Aljazeera followers. There is a fine Google map link that you can push in for tight detail

And Homeland Security won’t start following you because everyone is doing it!

Genesis-Genesis-Genesis

You can pick your own three declension points.

but during the big fight he got nailed with a right cross.

oh. my. dad. that is some good humor, there!

So I see, VS. I’ll stay, get some coffee, and toss some stuff in. It looks like fun!

Coffee? How will you fit in with coffee?

At least tell us you are on peyote, or pineal fluid or something.

Genesis – Nintendo – The Matrix

You can pick your own three declension points.

Oh, I thought you were just summoning the spirits of Phil Collins and/or Peter Gabriel.

The — fact — is.

but during the big fight he got nailed with a right cross.

oh. my. dad. that is some good humor, there!

Zombie humors is the bezt.

I’ll have three extra days off this week and I have a little pot.

So do I, but the Frau Doktorin is nice enough to say it’s “cute”.

those unicorn horn earrings.
Umm, that’s not horn.
You can do wonderful things with plastination.

pineal fluid
Veiled From Beyond reference?

The fact is, Satan — Hitler — Liberals. I win.

Zombie humors is the bezt.

prove it

” pineal fluid”

LULZ. zombie humor is pretty great.

Oh, I thought you were just summoning the spirits of Phil Collins and/or Peter Gabriel.

O holy hell no.

Yanno, for all the weenieness of Phil, I have to say that Gabriel’s most recent album really destroyed, for me, any of his cred. And I have seen him on one of his recent tours where his daughter sings.

So as of 2010, they are starting from a dead heat. Or perhaps I will just wait for the new Mekons album. Yes, that seems more advisable.

goatfucker–gary ruppert–true

Veiled From Beyond reference?

not really so veiled.

Also, HST reference.

#

bbkf said,

February 3, 2011 at 4:40 (kill)

Zombie humors is the bezt.

prove it

#

vs said,

February 3, 2011 at 4:41 (kill)

” pineal fluid”

LULZ. zombie humor is pretty great.

Can I just mention here that I love bars, bartenders, and everything that goes with them, except the other patrons? I think what we need is more private clubs. That are really just bars for me and my friends.

really zrm? is that all ya got?

Can I just mention here that I love bars, bartenders, and everything that goes with them, except the other patrons?

If you ever get to Milwaukee, I will take you to the RIGHT BARS.

Jesus is my kid. I wanted him to be a boxer but during the big fight he got nailed with a right cross.

We’ve all seen the guy; he’s obviously a featherweight. He was in the ring with religious hypocrisy and the autocratic class. Those are big dudes, you dick!

FUCK YOU WORDPRESS THIS JOKE ISN’T EVEN THAT GOOD

Can I just mention here that I love bars, bartenders, and everything that goes with them, except the other patrons? I think what we need is more private clubs. That are really just bars for me and my friends.

well, come on over! that pretty much sums up our philosophy!

Oh my. Whom will be allowed past the velvet ropes of Spengler’s exclusive drinkin’ club?

really zrm? is that all ya got?

I figured the other posters saying as much was a pretty good testimonial.

Of course, I rarely make jokes about my etchings or fucking people’s mothers, so maybe this isn’t my crowd….

But otherwise, yeah. That’s all I got. I take what I can get, and my self-esteem is such that I am happy with that.

FUCK YOU WORDPRESS THIS JOKE ISN’T EVEN THAT GOOD

Actual out-loud lulz

All Sadlies will be members of my exclusive speakeasy. Even Gary.

Oh my. Whom will be allowed past the velvet ropes of Spengler’s exclusive drinkin’ club?

I AM CERTAIN ZOMBIES WILL BE ON THE GUEST LIST.

And Homeland Security won’t start following you because everyone is doing it!

I’m not important enough to track, although it’s entirely possible that I’ve been flagged somewhere on key-word searches. (Who the hell puts Kharg Island, JSOC, the Darius oilfield, and ‘exfiltration’ in the same e-mail?)

In any event, I don’t give a shit.

I AM CERTAIN ZOMBIES WILL BE ON THE GUEST LIST.

even the little girl with one arm that he callously destroyed.

It’s just that I was *committed* to it, you know?

But otherwise, yeah. That’s all I got. I take what I can get, and my self-esteem is such that I am happy with that.

this made me laff…i was just hoping for a whole string of zombie jokes…you know, like leper jokes…

“I AM CERTAIN ZOMBIES WILL BE ON THE GUEST LIST.”

I would be honored if you would escort me. (Then buy me drinks)

ALL ZOMBIES WILL BE ON THE GUEST LIST BECAUSE MOAR ZOMBIES THAT’S WHY.

George Romero -> Tony Danza -> Counterfeit Rolex

At least tell us you are on peyote, or pineal fluid or something.

I’m stoned. I like the sweet smoke.

All Sadlies will be members of my exclusive speakeasy. Even Gary.

i was going to go so far as to say i would work for entrance to your exclusive speakeasy, since i know how to make drinks and such…

Are these two…related in any way?

No, no. Just saving electrons.

Another two-in-one:

Branes-branes-branes.

O shit I hope I don’t trigger M. Bouffant.
Brain! Braaa-in!

bbkf plus one… [makes list]

even the little girl with one arm that he callously destroyed.

That wasn’t his fault. Those were bad guys.

this made me laff…i was just hoping for a whole string of zombie jokes…you know, like leper jokes…

wow. It’s like you are new here.

Socrates -> Kierkegaard -> Eric Erickson

That wasn’t his fault. Those were bad guys.

HE’S THE AUTHOR OF GOD!!!!

We at the esteemed Riddled Brewery and Artichoke Fermentation Experimental Centre would be happy to provide drinkez to Spengler’s place.

Bars: Overpriced booze, crummy music whose volume is not under my control.

I still have the girl’s other arm. It flops around a little, so I strap my automatic watches on it and it keeps them wound up.

Julius Caesar on seeing Britain: Veni, vidi, vici
Rich Lowry on seeing Sarah Palin: Vidi, veni.

Socrates -> Kierkegaard -> Eric Erickson

…hmm. who would have guessed this gun barrel would taste so oily?

I still have the girl’s other arm. It flops around a little, so I strap my automatic watches on it and it keeps them wound up.

heh.

My knowledge of Egypt mostly comes from the Yu-Gi-Oh cartoon series so bear that in mind.

When Tunisia went at the end of last year, Mubarak didn’t consider himself threatened. As the riots grew and the Day of Anger passed, Mubarak may have started to feel threatened or maybe not. Angry Friday was a different story. When a crowd of something like two million people show up – that pretty much puts the nail in the coffin. two million is 2.5% the population of Egypt. That many showing up to protest basically means your ability to rule through fear of the police force is pretty much broken.

That’s why he agreed not to run again. He voluntarily put a time limit on his rule. Not the move of a despotic tyrant unless he already sees the writing on the wall. Note that his term is set to expire this year.

What has been going on since then is people jockeying for best positioning in post-Mubarak Egypt. Plus the president would like to save some face and not be run out of the country on a rail. Also, not have his previous actions be investigated in any detail.

There’s all sorts of criticism of the US being behind the action on this. That’s good and reasonable – the US shouldn’t be leading on populist uprisings in foreign countries. Also too, conflicting desires within the Administration. The biggest concern for the US going forward is probably about the effect of a less secular and more Islamic Egypt on neighbouring Palestine and of course, Israel.

And then the bad guys will collect the fifth Exodia card and it’ll be a race against time to keep them from summoning The Forbidden One.

bbkf plus one… [makes list]

oh goody…i will bring my martini shaker, magic bullet and my own je ne se quois…

*needle scratches record*

“My knowledge of Egypt mostly comes from the Yu-Gi-Oh cartoon series”

Speaking of funny dudes… I don’t sAy it often cuz I don’t want you to get a big head.

DKW talking about your mom – DKW talking about Yu-gi-oh – DKW talking about his mom.

Here’s my take on the Egypt situation, which I think I can say is reasonably accurate because I study international politics with some interest:

The Pharonic Dynasties -> Nasser -> Transformers II

I don’t sAy it often cuz I don’t want you to get a big head.

VPR? Couldn’t be. Can’t imagine you not wanting me to get a big head in that sense.

heh.

Now you’re laughing at the suffering of your own people??? And we aren’t even allowed to make the occasional chainsaw/Molotov cocktail/rifle/shotgun/semi-automatic weapon/automatic weapon/axe/tire iron/fire/grenade/giant truck/knife/sword/mace/giant rock/small rock/crossbow/pickaxe/cannon/morning star/scythe/machete joke?

“I don’t sAy it often cuz I don’t want you to get a big head.

VPR? Couldn’t be. Can’t imagine you not wanting me to get a big head in that sense.”

You know me too well.

I forgot baseball bats and small trucks! Fuck!

forgot baseball bats and small trucks! Fuck!

you did have a pretty good roll going there…

T&U, you also forgot bees. You could train bees to become a weapon.

State Dep’t. advises Americans who want to get out of Egypt to get to the airport immediately. All well & good, but what about Americans who’d like to leave America? Huh?

You could train bees to become a weapon.

I know! The *most* obvious! I was hoping nobody would notice.

All well & good, but what about Americans who’d like to leave America?

I’m sure some members of Mubarak’s regime would trade places with you!

Africanized bees with thick, pendulous stingers.

Africanized bees with thick, pendulous stingers.

Wait, are still talking about zombies? Or are we on to teabaggers?

Sun Tzu — Clausewitz — Rumsfeld

George Thorogood … Stevie Ray Vaughn … Pomplamoose

Glory — Saving Private Ryan — Red Dawn

George Carlin — Stephen Colbert — Sean Hannity

Dorothy Parker — Molly Ivins — Gretchen Carlson

Edward R. Murrow — Walter Cronkite — David Gregory

Gregory Peck — Dick Gregory — David Gregory

Africanized bees with thick, pendulous stingers.

heh…i see what you did there…

If I started a blog entitled: “Hilarious Shit I Write When I’m Fucked Up” (or “Stoned”–I haven’t decided which, although I’m sure I’d want to write a lot and my lungs can’t handle that much smoke, so perhaps other drug forms would be acceptable), would you guys read it? Be honest.

The Pharonic Dynasties -> Nasser -> Transformers II

Larfed, O Author of God.

Africanized bees with thick,twistingly veined, pendulous stingers. Just ready to inject their thick white poison into unwilling, soft European flesh that is lying, trembling, waiting….

would you guys read it? Be honest.
sh’ya!

Oh, I see how it is.

would you guys read it? Be honest.

Fuckin’ A !!! Go for it!