Jan
21

Kings For A Day




Posted at 19:53 by Mister Leonard Pierce

It’s Martin Luther King Day, and you know what that means: yes, it’s the day when conservatives all over the country get together and tell us that racism isn’t a problem anymore and that if MLK were alive today, he would certainly not countenance any black people talking about how they are treated unfairly.

No, what MLK was all about was color-blindness! Yes, he was only interested in a unified world where everyone behaved exactly like white people. He was not interested in nonsense like affirmative action or restitution for slavery, despite his many public statements to the contrary; even the fact that he wrote an entire book about it shouldn’t sway us into thinking that Dr. King supported anything as crazy as racial quotas or economic compensation in addition to legal equality.

This year, it falls to Paul Greenberg to write the definitive column on the legacy of Dr. King, who apparently, despite his opposition to the Vietnam War, support of democratic socialism, and economic bill of rights that called for a revolutionary change in the way that the government treated the problem of poverty, was a conservative!

Greenberg calls this lifelong liberal activist “the very definition of an American conservative,” and, after quoting the ‘not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character’ part of the ‘I have a dream’ speech (which is the only thing MLK ever said that conservatives seem to know anything about), he asks:

Is any passage more frequently cited against the quota system called Affirmative Action?

Well, not by right-wingers, that’s for sure. Anyway, let’s leave Greenberg, and his claims that a man who forty years ago was being denounced by people like him as a dangerous Communist insurrectionist is actually an icon of conservativism, and move on to Big Boy Jammies, where the appropriately-named Michael Weiss puts up another iteration of the argument that the last thing Martin Luther King would have wanted is for people to talk about racism. After approvingly quoting sections of the letter from Birmingham jail that distance King from radical black Muslims, Weiss says, in reference to Barack Obama’s campaign:

How’s that for self-criticism and telling people what they don’t want to hear? And when’s the last time you heard the moral conscience of any movement argue that the middle-class was a hindrance rather than an agent of social progress? Such candor came, moreover, from a man who really might have benefited in the short-term by selling his core principles to purchase a broader coalition of desegregationists. No candidate for high office, whatever the out-group he or she purports to represent, would ever get very far by striking such a “polarizing” chord.

All of which would be highly relevant if King had been running for President, or for any political office at all, which of course he wasn’t. But hey, who cares? It’s not like Obama is really black anyway! Weiss quotes with great admiration the ever-reliable Christopher Hitchens:

negative campaigning
Above: actually a white man

We are trying to get over the hideous legacy of slavery and segregation. But Mr. Obama is not a part of this legacy. His father was a citizen of Kenya, an independent African country, and his mother was a “white” American. He is as distant from the real “plantation” as I am. How — unless one thinks obsessively about color while affecting not to do so — does this make him “black”?

Ha ha! Yeah, of course! Because we all know, racism and segregation in America have only to do with the legacy of slavery, and not at all one’s black skin! Most racists would not just look at a black person and decide to discriminate against them; they would first determine if he was an African-American, and thus part of the legacy of slavery, or an African,* in which case there would be no reason whatsoever to discriminate against them. Plus, he’s biracial, and no one has ever discriminated against mixed-race people in America! Thus, presto-change-o, Barack Obama is not black, and therefore has never experienced any racial discrimination, and any attempt by him to engage in ‘identity politics’ is itself shameful racism of the sort that Martin Luther King, were he alive today but thankfully he’s not, would totally condemn. How far we’ve come, Lord, how far!


* If it made even the slightest bit of difference, one might point out that Kenya was not an independent African country during the first 27 years of Barack Obama’s father’s life, and that he spent his entire childhood and teenage years in a British colony that was often brutally oppressed. In fact, Kenya was not even independent when Obama himself was born; it wouldn’t become so until he was 2 years old, and Obama’s father did not return to Kenya until many years after. One might even point out that when he married his white American wife, interracial marriage was still illegal in 22 states. But it’s Hitch we’re talking about, and he’s never been one to let facts get in the way of a nice bit of demagoguery.

462 Comments »

  1. Patkin said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:31

    Because we all recall that J. Edgar Hoover was a liberal fascist who tapped King’s phones and demanded he commit suicide rather than be exposed as an adulterer by Hoover’s misuse of authority.

    Well, they seem to recall it that way, if they ever bring it up.

  2. Hoosier X said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:31

    Hitchens really said that with a straight face?

    Really?

    That’s some mind-numbing idiocy that even Thomas Sowell would be proud of.

    (Did he really say that? What a douche.)

  3. handy said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:32

    Obama, Osama…
    Obama, Osama…
    Barak Hussein

    You make the connection.

  4. bily2001 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:41

    hi, guys, nice discussion, I am Kily. A cute white girl with perfect sexy stature.
    I am eager for a good man, All can view my crazy hot photos at multiraciallove.com by searching “Wildrose2008″. No matter who you are and where you come from…

  5. Bitter Scribe said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:45

    Paul Greenberg! Is he still around? I thought he exploded from Clinton-induced apoplexy years ago.

  6. nick said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:47

    Someone please make Hitchens read this Study:
    Discrimination in Low-Wage Labor Markets:
    Evidence from an Experimental Audit Study in New York City

    … and then come talk to me about how racism is only about having directly survived slavery.

    Hitchens is more infuriating than the next wanker because every once in a while I find myself agreeing with him, and then I find out that he has a fucking shoestore shoved up his gullet.

  7. idahogie said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:49

    Of course racism has been eliminated. Just look at the Republican field of candidates! It wasn’t that long ago that the idea of six old, rich, white guys running against a negro was totally unthinkable.

  8. t4toby said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:50

    If there is one thing I have learned about the right is that their penchant for revisionism is almost as acute as their need for projection.

    Do I smell a pie a bakin’?

  9. Jim said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:52

    Let us give hearty thanks and credit to Rudy Giuliani, who has never implied that we would fracture any kind of “ceiling” if we elected as chief executive a man whose surname ends in a vowel.

    Is Hitchens claiming (as he gets close to implying) that the reason Walter Mondale never won is because his last name ended in a vowel?

    Or indeed, does he now assert that James Monroe, Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce and Calvin Coolidge (whose last names end, as you may note, with an “e”) never served as president?

    (I say we spot him Kennedy – “y” is pretty dodgy.)

  10. Jim said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:53

    For that matter, could Kily never be president because her name ends with a “y”?
    The implications are staggering!

  11. Cangrejero said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:00

    For that matter, could Kily never be president because her name ends with a “y”?

    Fresh off her appearance in the swift boat ad of Harold Ford, she’s here at Sadly, No! to take down the conservative communism book.

  12. Snorghagen said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:03

    If there is one thing I have learned about the right is that their penchant for revisionism is almost as acute as their need for projection.

    It’s because all that reality stuff is just so icky. It’s just so much nicer to escape to happy sunny delusionland, where conservatives are decent and humane and competent and liberals are fascist meanie poopyheads.

    Calvin Coolidge was black, wasn’t he? That final vowel’s a giveaway.

  13. actor212 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:05

    Naturally, if Obama *could* draw his heritage back to slaves in America, the conservatives would be all about how “See? Slaves have it good now! They don’t have to pick cotton and one of them is running for President!”

  14. Leonard Pierce said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:05

    Calvin Coolidge was black, wasn’t he?

    Italian. It’s pronounced “Koo-LEE-djee”

  15. actor212 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:06

    Is Hitchens claiming (as he gets close to implying) that the reason Walter Mondale never won is because his last name ended in a vowel?

    Silly people! E’s not a vowel! E’s a e!

  16. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:06

    It’s Martin Luther King Day, and you know what that means:

    Black Monday?

  17. actor212 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:07

    A cute white girl with perfect sexy stature.

    Oh? You own the Venus de Milo?

  18. Galactic Dustbin said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:08

    If there is one thing I have learned about the right is that their penchant for revisionism is almost as acute as their need for projection.

    Lets not forget the rights famous sense of entitlement.

  19. Jim said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:15

    Remember, Tuesday Weld could be a groundbreaking candidate because no chief executive has ever had a surname that was an action verb …

    Oh hell, except for Franklin Pierce again. Can’t we just call him an outlier and be done with it?

  20. Tim (the other one) said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:20

    Ronald Reagan was the first black president.

  21. atheist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:21

    Christopher Hitchens is like some kind of psychological study in the perfect uselessness of mentality without character. He used to frustrate and confuse me with his apparent contradictions. Now I just think he’s a worthless piece of trash.

  22. t4toby said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:24

    What happened to the pie?

  23. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:24

    Hitchens likes imitating the techniques and styles of Orwell’s while ignoring the basic sense of decency and common humanism Orwell so thoroughly tried to remind us of.

  24. Snorghagen said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:25

    Remember, Tuesday Weld could be a groundbreaking candidate because no chief executive has ever had a surname that was an action verb …

    Perhaps not, but Hairy True-man did have an excellent porn star name. And he was black.

  25. angry conservative said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:26

    Dr. King, who apparently, despite his opposition to the Vietnam War, support of democratic socialism, and economic bill of rights that called for a revolutionary change in the way that the government treated the problem of poverty, was a conservative!

    Well, just so nobody tries to say that Cleopatra was black. I remembe Liz Taylor and she was nooooo negress! Damn liberals and their historical revisionisms. *swallows mouthful of bourbon*
    I tells ya the US of A has NEVER lost a war and she never will!

  26. Legalize said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:27

    Conservatives have stopped railng against everything they hate about “teh left.” Instead they try to own what they hate in order to make it either meaningless, or simply lame. MLK = conservative is similar to the same sort of nonsense I read at the National Review about how all of our favorite rock songs are ACTUALLY conservative rock songs. Why? Because a line or 2 of those songs could be interpreted as meaning something other than what Marx would have taught.

    They literally ruin everything.

  27. atheist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:31

    They literally ruin everything.

    ‘Course, the thing is, you eventually are what you eat.

  28. Patkin said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:34

    atheist:

    I dunno. A compost pile may eventually have plants grow out of them, but the pile is still full of trash and shit.

  29. pedestrian said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:34

    Remember, Tuesday Weld could be a groundbreaking candidate because no chief executive has ever had a surname that was an action verb …

    Hey, he would still be the only president with a day of the week in his name! Oh, except for T.G.I. Friday.

    Maybe Jeri Thompson and Elizabeth Kucinich should run together on the pledge that they will bring us the first Oval Office girl-on-girl kiss since the Kennedy administration. That’s the kind of history making that America really cares about come voting day.

  30. White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:35

    Yes, who could ever forget that immortal speech:

    “Let tax freedom ring!

    “And when this happens, and when we allow tax freedom to ring—when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children—black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics—will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

    “Tax freedom at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, tax freedom free at last!

  31. Tara the anti-social social worker said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:38

    It’s amusing to realize that in 40 years, they will not only be claiming Barack Obama as a conservaive icon, but Michael Moore and Cindy Sheehan as well.

  32. Jim said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:40

    Franklin Roosevelt was actually Eleanor Roosevelt, and the first female president – and a miserable failure!

    Eleanor Roosevelt was actually William F. Buckley, Sr. All ur librulz are belong to us!!!!

  33. Hoosier X said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:40

    Come on. Hitchens didn’t say that.

    And he certainly didn’t say:

    Let us give hearty thanks and credit to Rudy Giuliani, who has never implied that we would fracture any kind of “ceiling” if we elected as chief executive a man whose surname ends in a vowel.

    This is more of a Dennis Prager statement.

    Anyway, Rudy is running on his own merits! And look at how well it’s working for him! His whole campaign strategy is based on a belief that the people of Florida are stupid enough to fall for it and, if true, this will somehow make the rest of America stupid too.

    It’s just crazy enough to work! Just like that surge thingy.

  34. Jim said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:47

    Remember, Tuesday Weld could be a groundbreaking candidate because no chief executive has ever had a surname that was an action verb …

    Hey, he would still be the only president with a day of the week in his name! Oh, except for T.G.I. Friday.

    Sir!
    Tuesday Weld was no man! She was the many loves of Dobie Gillis (and a conquest of Elvis).

  35. Lesley said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:50

    Is he having a laugh?

    Ezra Levant
    “The very process of defending against a human rights complaint is a form of punishment,” says the former publisher of the Western Standard magazine…

  36. pedestrian said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:05

    Don’t forget, if you want to tell black voters that MLK was a Republican, you better do it in jive eubonics AAV

    Wapo link if you don’t trust me:
    http://projects.washingtonpost.com/politicalads/152/

  37. Southern Beale said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:09

    Ha, you think that’s great, check out the terrific Weekly Message from the Tennessee GOP! Comedy gold!

  38. kingubu said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:10

    I’ll never understand the credibility some give to Hitchens. I mean, I watched him argue to a draw against Dinesh D’Fucking D’Souza on atheism.

    D’Souzaphone’s argument was basically, “surely in the wide universe there’s a place where gravity works in ways the current models don’t predict, and that’s an exception to the ‘law of gravity’, and exceptions to scientific laws are same thing as ‘miracles’ and therefore god exists”. Instead of swatting that nonsense down by pointing out that any scientist worthy of the name would simply set to work to update the models to reflect the new observations (you know “science”) Hitchens conceded the point and tried to get by on snarkiness and a shallow semantic attack.

    Teh Luser.

  39. Lesley said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:12

    This year, it falls to Paul Greenberg to write the definitive column on the legacy of Dr. King, who apparently, despite his opposition to the Vietnam War, support of democratic socialism, and economic bill of rights that called for a revolutionary change in the way that the government treated the problem of poverty, was a conservative!

    And yet, only five seconds ago liberals were fascists. It seems if you’re a widely respected liberal with the added bonus of being dead, you’re a conservative, and if you’re merely alive and liberal you’re a fascist.

  40. J— said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:12

    Weiss:

    How’s that for self-criticism and telling people what they don’t want to hear? And when’s the last time you heard the moral conscience of any movement argue that the middle-class was a hindrance rather than an agent of social progress? Such candor came, moreover, from a man who really might have benefited in the short-term by selling his core principles to purchase a broader coalition of desegregationists. No candidate for high office, whatever the out-group he or she purports to represent, would ever get very far by striking such a “polarizing” chord.

    Obama yesterday at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta:

    For most of this country’s history, we in the African-American community have been at the receiving end of man’s inhumanity to man. And all of us understand intimately the insidious role that race still sometimes plays – on the job, in the schools, in our health care system, and in our criminal justice system.

    And yet, if we are honest with ourselves, we must admit that none of our hands are entirely clean. If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll acknowledge that our own community has not always been true to King’s vision of a beloved community.

    We have scorned our gay brothers and sisters instead of embracing them. The scourge of anti-Semitism has, at times, revealed itself in our community. For too long, some of us have seen immigrants as competitors for jobs instead of companions in the fight for opportunity.

  41. BJS said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:15

    Is the black man the Jew of Conservative Communism?

  42. nobody said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:18

    i think we should mirror this tactic, along the lines of kindergarten society..

    Reagan was a liberal!

    Everything ever done well anywhere by anyone! Liberal!

    The infinitude of the entire universe, they are all passionately liberal!

    and you too. you are liberal.

  43. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:19

    I’ll never understand the credibility some give to Hitchens. I mean, I watched him argue to a draw against Dinesh D’Fucking D’Souza

    He didn’t do all that well against Al Sharpton on morning TV either.

  44. actor212 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:20

    Oh hell, except for Franklin Pierce again. Can’t we just call him an outlier and be done with it?

    Well, if you drop the first “n” in Clinton, you have a verb…OK, it’s a gerund, but who’s being fussy?

  45. Paddy Mac said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:21

    Is the black man the Jew of Conservative Communism?

    Hitler said his invasion of Russia was to defeat Jewish Bolshevism, so obviously you, sir, are a irracial fascist. And although the word ‘irracial’ does not in fact exist, this makes it central to my point. A point which has never before been made with such care.

  46. actor212 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:21

    Ronald Reagan was the first black president.

    Please.

    It was George Washington! I mean, come ON, just look at that name! That’s from the ‘hood if I ever heard a hood name!

  47. Lesley said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:22

    Hitchens has an upper crusty British accent and knows some big words. That’s all that’s required for some people (as long as he also agrees with their point of view.)

  48. Nimrod Gently said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:34

    We are trying to get over the hideous legacy of slavery and segregation. But Mr. Obama is not a part of this legacy. His father was a citizen of Kenya, an independent African country, and his mother was a “white” American. He is as distant from the real “plantation” as I am. How — unless one thinks obsessively about color while affecting not to do so — does this make him “black”?

    How the fuck does anyone get PAID to type that shit?

  49. Duros62 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:37

    Hitchens likes imitating the techniques and styles of Orwell’s while ignoring the basic sense of decency and common humanism Orwell so thoroughly tried to remind us of.

    Hey, credit where it’s due; he does so while completely snot-flying drunk. Which is most of the time.

  50. Duros62 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:38

    Wait, so Obama is …… British?

  51. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:38

    My word! Perhaps Obama is a Manchurian candidate for the British imperial agents of the Kenya Colony!

    He intends to bring us back into the Commonwealth with their socialized medicine and obsessions with cheese and dry wits!

  52. White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:38

    http://www.cofcc.org/

    Inexplicably, the Council of Conservative Citizens website forgot to wish Martin Luther King a happy birthday today.

    Yet strangely enough, they did remember to wish Robert E. Lee a happy birthday two days ago.

    Hey, Jonah Goldberg, what’s going on?

    How these guys call themselves “conservatives”? If they’re racists, doesn’t that automatically make them “liberals”?

  53. Fromago-fascist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:44

    Brilliant! Pip pip! Cheerio! More cheese for me!

  54. Zython said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:46

    They literally ruin everything.

    If they can ruin One Piece, they can ruin anything.

  55. stryx said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:49

    Ronald Reagan was the first black president.

    True that. I totally remember that time he went to Pretoria and gave that speech to Botha.
    Remember?
    “That until the philosophy which holds one race superior and another inferior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned: That until there are no longer first-class and second class citizens of any nation; That until the color of a man’s skin is of no more significance than the color of his eyes; That until the basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race; That until that day, the dream of lasting peace and world citizenship and the rule of international morality will remain but a fleeting illusion, to be pursued but never attained; And until the ignoble and unhappy regimes that hold our brothers in Angola, in Mozambique and in South Africa in subhuman bondage have been toppled and destroyed; Until bigotry and prejudice and malicious and inhuman self-interest have been replaced by understanding and tolerance and good-will; Until all Africans stand and speak as free beings, equal in the eyes of all men, as they are in the eyes of Heaven; Until that day, the African continent will not know peace.”

  56. actor212 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:01

    Reagan was a dreadynaught?

    Rasta Reagan?

  57. cokane said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:02

    great post. The wingers are forever trying to take historical icons from the 1960s as theirs while at the same time attacking liberal hippie fascists. How can any modern right winger claim Dr King as theirs when he claimed that state violence (like Vietnam, or modern day Iraq) was just as bad as segregation.

    These same wingers who think pulling out of Viet Nam was the only mistake…

    thank you

  58. t4toby said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:03

    Here’s a good take on Hitchens.

    Tears of a Clown, indeed.

  59. a different brad said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:04

    Yet another thing by Hitchens that makes me want to spit in his face when I see him at my grad school, or the de-facto school bar around the corner where he holds court with a gaggle of young, wide-eyed female first years.

    I love the emerging meme that Dems are racist if they don’t nominate Obama, because of Alan Keyes.

  60. anangryoldbroad said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:05

    The shitty Atlanta Journal Constitution(the print version,it may be online today I haven’t checked),referred to Obama as a “black man”in quotes,in the same sentence explaining to the stoopit readers that Romney is a Mormon,Huckabee a minister and Clinton is a woman.

    Hand to God I wish I was making that up.

    I really wish we could move the fuck out of here,jeebus.

  61. histrogeek said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:05

    Is Hitchens ever right about anything? God, even not-God, I find it so hard to believe that anyone would give money to that man. Along with Goldberg, he’s a perfect example of the aristocracy in this country. No talent, no morals, no relationship to reality, but apparently can never be removed from his cushy gig.

  62. cokane said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:06

    dear God that Hitchens column is atrocious

  63. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:10

    Hitchens [...] de-facto school bar around the corner where he holds court

    Buy him a diet Coke mixed with Bud and see what happens.

  64. Johnny Coelacanth said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:11

    “Well, just so nobody tries to say that Cleopatra was black. I remember Liz Taylor and she was nooooo negress!”

    Indeed, Elizabeth Taylor has never been black. And before she was friends with Michael Jackson, he was black. Now he is white. Coincidence? I think not.

  65. cokane said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:12

    “Those of us who follow politics seriously rather than view it as a game show do not look at Hillary Clinton and simply think “first woman president.” We think — for example — “first ex-co-president” or “first wife of a disbarred lawyer and impeached former incumbent” or “first person to use her daughter as photo-op protection during her husband’s perjury rap.”"

    This part is quite precious. Nowhere does he talk about the “serious” policy of Clinton that he might object to. No just jabs at her personality. The kind of analysis one might have for someone they hate on a reality TV show. And Hitchens considers himself a “serious” political analyst. Please.

  66. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:15

    angryoldbroad: Here’s the paragraph as I saw it:

    During his address, Clinton responded to Franklin’s remarks. “Mayor Franklin already took care of the political stuff. I wouldn’t have said it quite the way she did but she got it all out there.”

    Earlier in her address, Franklin said the country was nearing a historic occasion when it could elect as president, “a former first lady, a Mormon, a Baptist preacher, and yes, a black man.”

    The first lady is Hillary Clinton, the Mormon is Republican Mitt Romney, the Baptist preacher is Huckabee, and the “black man” is Obama.

    Now, as far as I could see, this was just the polite, newspaper-y way of explaining what should be obvious references to people who were reading the newspaper but were incapable of getting the references.

    As for why they would put quotation marks around “black man”, I think it would be to reinforce unmistakably that they, the AJC, were NOT using the term, and were quoting it from Shirley Franklin — in case they should now get many letters that they should have said “African American”.

  67. cokane said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:15

    Can’t even get your little Giuliani joke some historical accuracy there Hitchens. Shut the fuck up and pay attention to your goddamn countries history, seriously I can’t believe this guy. He’s giving atheists a bad name.

  68. Jim said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:18

    Look guys, here’s what you’re losing sight of:
    If John McCain is elected president, he will not brag about being the first white male Protestant elected to the position. That is fucking humility, right there.

  69. J— said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:19

    AJC link.

  70. a different brad said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:25

    I wish I hadn’t gone to read that Hitchens column. He could write a column about how George Carlin is the greatest living American and still make me disagree with him. I loathe identity politics, but Hitchens makes me want to scream about the limited contexts in which I think they still have a constructive role to play.
    Nevermind that his whole schtick is dependent on identity politics, as he needs those tribes and their divisions to have someone to sell his shite to. He’s all about inciting group a against group b, then setting group b back on group a. I wish I had had the chance to take a class with him and make his life hell for that brief period once a week.

  71. Southern Beale said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:29

    If John McCain is elected president, he will not brag about being the first white male Protestant elected to the position.

    He’d be the first Vietnam veteran to be President, no? Also the oldest ever.

  72. a different brad said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:31

    George Bush, unlike John Kerry, is a genuine Vietnam vet.
    Watch this, and learn something.

  73. handy said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:34

    He’s giving atheists a bad name.

    And drunks, too.

  74. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:34

    He’d be the first Vietnam veteran to be President, no?

    Yeah, if you think that 5 years in a tiger cage (with 2 years in solitary) makes you a ‘Vietnam veteran’. Good thing he didn’t do like a real man did, like Our Commander In Chief Bush Jr. Reagan the 2nd, and face the skies above Alabama, and by “the skies” I mean certain undisclosed locations probably involving bars.

  75. nick said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:35

    Hey, credit where it’s due; he does so while completely snot-flying drunk. Which is most of the time.

    That might be the part I find myself agreeing with. Although I haven’t had a drink in 6 1/2 years, I was, in fact, snot-flying drunk for much of the 15 years or so prior to that, and extremely pretentious, judgmental, and all-around wankerific much of the time.

  76. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:43

    These are the same turd munchers who sit around picking their noses and wondering why on Earth more African-Americans don’t vote Republican.

    Bu-but, slavery and legal segregation and all that icky stuff was soooo long ago. Any one who complains about racism is just a big loud scary neeeegrooo!

    I can’t bring myself to look, does he mention “his black friend”?

  77. Paddy Mac, Atheist Drunkard, said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:44

    How — unless one thinks obsessively about color while affecting not to do so — does this make him “black”?

    Um, it’s kinda this combination of using one’s eyes, and the common meanings of words, to note that a person’s skin is of a darker-than-lily-white tone.

    Glad I could help you out on this one, Hitch. Now shut the f— up, and stop giving folks like me a bad name.

  78. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:54

    According to Itchens, these White Separatists are a figment of your imagination.

    Pay not attention to that man behind the hood!

  79. Southern Beale said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:54

    George Bush, unlike John Kerry, is a genuine Vietnam vet.

    At least get the lie right. Bush could never be a “Vietnam vet.” He never left the U.S. The most anyone could claim is that he’s a “Vietnam era vet.”

  80. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:54

    NO attention.

    Damn it.

  81. Jim said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:58

    In all seriousness, sometimes when I see Hitchens writing about Hillary Clinton, I have to remind myself : “The enemy of my enemy is not my friend.”

    My new favorite line in his editorial is where he says, race is a made up construct but even if he were going to acknowledge that race existed he would refuse to call himself “Caucasian” because it’s even more made-up.

  82. Terry C - Edwards 2008 said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:04

    “a different brad said,

    George Bush, unlike John Kerry, is a genuine Vietnam vet.”

    I’m calling parody. NO one is THAT stupid.

    ANYONE who STILL supports/defends/apologizes for Bush has to be braindead!

  83. Terry C - Edwards 2008 said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:07

    Hitchens had an article about Muslims in the UK a few months ago (I believe it was in Vanity Fair) that turned my stomach.

    What an ignorant, racist, xenophobe he is.

  84. Snorghagen said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:08

    Is Hitchens ever right about anything?

    I haven’t paid much attention to Hitchens, but he’s evidently been declining into loathsomeness for a long time, increasingly corroded by ego and booze.

    To give the devil his due, Hitchens did come up with a excellent line describing the post-9/11 era, spoken in disgust in the course of a private conversation three days after the attacks: “I think we’ve just entered the reign of piety and iron.”

    Soon after that, he himself sold out to the ‘piety and iron’ crowd and became an enthusiastic pro-Bush, pro-Iraq War hack.

  85. El Cid said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:11

    I’m calling parody. NO one is THAT stupid.

    You must not have followed the link.

  86. jgmurphy said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:14

    It is truly amazing to me that Hitchens even has a career left. I aw him on Politically Incorrect some years back when he was so drunk he could barely sit up in the chair. They say alcohol eats brain cells and judging from the stuff Hitch has come up with over the past 5 years or so, you would have to lend some credence to that.

  87. Colleen said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:15

    “But it’s Hitch we’re talking about, and he’s never been one to let facts get in the way of a nice bit of demagoguery.” You must have meant he’s never been one to let facts get in the way of his bottle of scotch. Another fucking asshole who needs to just go away.

  88. Duros62 said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:17

    snot-flying drunk

    I just like saying that.

  89. t4toby said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:20

    I’m calling parody. NO one is THAT stupid.

    Do you know that something like 30% of all Americans approve, if not flat out cheer on, the job Shrub Jr. is doing?

    I know a different brad is not one of them, but there are quite a few people who are REALLY THAT FUCKING STUPID!!!1!!!11!!!111!

    Do the math. We’re talking about tens of millions of people.

  90. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:25

    “These are the same turd munchers who sit around picking their noses and wondering why on Earth more African-Americans don’t vote Republican.”

    I just like reading that.

  91. White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:29

    http://www.cofcc.org/

    Inexplicably, the Conservative Citizens’ Council website failed to recognize MLK’s birthday today, although they did manage to remember Robert E. Lee’s birthday two days ago.

    WTF, Jonah, I thought by definition conservatives couldn’t be racists, only liberal fascist socialists?

  92. White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:32

    Inexplicably, the Conservative Citizens’ Coalition website failed to recognize MLK’s birthday or the national holiday in his honor today.

    They did manage to remember Robert E. Lee’s birthday two days ago.

  93. SamFromUtah said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:34

    That negative-pic in the post is well-placed for that old optical illusion trick:

    Stare at it for 30 seconds, blinking as little as possible. Then quickly glance at an all-white area on the page, and you’ll very briefly see the normal image.

    Try it! It’s fun.

  94. Jennifer said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:40

    That asshole Paul Greenberg is the editor of our statewide daily.

    Which is why I stopped subscribing to it, and then stopped reading it altogether, many years ago.

  95. billy pilgrim said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:44

    Booger gives up easy these days.

    Those checks from Netvocates must not be clearing.

  96. D.N. Nation said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:50

    As for why they would put quotation marks around “black man”, I think it would be to reinforce unmistakably that they, the AJC, were NOT using the term, and were quoting it from Shirley Franklin — in case they should now get many letters that they should have said “African American”.

    Not that I disagree with you, but AP style says to use “black,” not African-American. So if anyone had issues with that word usage, it’d be old hat by now.

  97. a different brad said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:00

    Thanks, El Cid.
    Southern Beale n Terry C- y’all ain’t so bright. Best to know what you’re responding to.

  98. J— said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:21

    Wait a minute. Was Bush in Vietnam from ’75 to ’81 or wasn’t he? I’m so confused!

  99. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:24

    Yes he wasisn’t.

  100. a different brad said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:25

    If H. Jon Benjamin’s word isn’t sufficient authority for you to accept the truth, J–, then you’re permanently lost.

  101. Jennifer said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:26

    I couldn’t help but wonder why they left out the part about Bush’s miracle with the loaves and fishes.

  102. SomeNYGuy said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:27

    J— said,

    Wait a minute. Was Bush in Vietnam from ‘75 to ‘81 or wasn’t he? I’m so confused!

    Bush was in a bottle of Jack Daniels from ’62 to ’87. And he was even more confused.

  103. Snorghagen said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:29

    Do you know that something like 30% of all Americans approve, if not flat out cheer on, the job Shrub Jr. is doing?…We’re talking about tens of millions of people.

    They’re not people.

    They’re humanoid robots manufactured in a secret assembly plant on one of the moons of Jupiter and stored in a hollowed-out mountain in the Bighorn Range. They’re only activated to take polls, vote, stage Brooks Brothers riots, and buy books by Jonah Goldberg.

    That’s my theory, anyway.

  104. Jennifer said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:38

    Do you know that something like 30% of all Americans approve, if not flat out cheer on, the job Shrub Jr. is doing?…We’re talking about tens of millions of people.

    You can fool some of the people all of the time.

    Though it’s depressing to contemplate that in this case, “some” = 90 million people, and at least half of them are old enough to know better.

  105. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:43

    I couldn’t help but wonder why they left out the part about Bush’s miracle with the loaves and fishes.

    Every fish and every loaf turned to pigshit right before my eyes. It was unbelievable, yet true, the very definition of a miracle.

  106. BJS said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:48

    obviously black Presidents:

    George Washington
    Thomas Jefferson
    Calvin Coolidge
    Woodrow Wilson
    Andrew Jackson
    Franklin Pierce
    Grover Cleveland

  107. BJS said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:48

    Grover Cleveland (first term only)

  108. tigrismus said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:51

    And Franklin D. Roosevelt (Jones)

  109. Bastion Booger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:52

    The truth is, affirmative action is rascist and reverse discrimination. The very fact that liberals promote affirmative action hiring proves Jonah Goldberg’s argument the the White Male is the Jew of liberal fascism.

  110. Jennifer said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:53

    Ok, Righteous Bubba, that just totally cracked my shit up.

    I got this flashback to (of all things) Cheech & Chong’s Next Movie where Chong totally flubs the “magic” trick where a glass and a napkin are combined, folded, tied, etc into a phallic shape, and the punchline was “now ain’t that a peach?” Chong gets up on stage to do the trick and because he’s stoned, of course, he holds up the napkin and the glass, and says, “I’m gonna take this glass…and uh this napkin….and I’m gonna turn ‘em into a DICK!”

    Which is pretty much how I imagine Bush would flub up the loaves and fishes business.

  111. Bastion Booger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:55

    The truth is, Dr. Martin Luther King was a Conservative and a Registered Republican. He was strongly opposed to abortion, affirmative action and gay rights. Liberal race baiters such as Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have hijacked Dr. King’s legacy in an attempt to divide this Nation along racial lines. Martin Luther King was clearly a Conservative!

  112. El Cid said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:56

    So now MLK Jr. was both a Communist subversive and a Registered Republican? Our thesis is proven!!!

  113. kingubu said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:58

    Do you know that something like 30% of all Americans approve, if not flat out cheer on, the job Shrub Jr. is doing?

    I suspect the number is actually quite a bit lower if you factor out those who are disappointed in Der Fratboy’s performance but would rather die than give some Commie pinko pollster the satisfaction of admitting it.

  114. stringonastick said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:02

    Attack of the ‘bergs I tell ya; between the Pantload and this Greenish guy the revisionism is getting pretty thick. Will we reach a singularity where the historical revisionism becomes so complete that all historical knowledge collapses into a small shiny bit of intellectual antimatter?

  115. Bastion Booger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:08

    The truth is, the only revisonist history is the one fed to impresionable young skulls full of mush that leftwing history professors promote as America’s heritage. The true American Heritage IS NOT ONE OF RASCISM, GENOCIDE AND CLASSISM! It is one of Godly Family Values, of a “City on a Hill”, of technological advances unlike the world has ever seen, of the first true form of Republican Government by the people, of the people and for the people, of rugged individualism, of glorious Military Victories and the Civilizing of a continent of backward hellbound savages. That my liberal friends is America’s true Heritage!

  116. Caveat said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:09

    You know who else was conservative? Abby Hoffman. So were Rosa Parks, Jane Fonda, John Lennon and the Panthers. And you know who else is conservative? Bono.

  117. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:11

    Which is pretty much how I imagine Bush would flub up the loaves and fishes business.

    He could turn lepers into effective fertilizer.

  118. mikey said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:14

    Until his supreme “whoops” moment, John McCain lived in a bright clean city, ate wonderful food, slept on clean sheets, shit in real toilets and occasionally drove a fast mover up north to drop bombs on some civilians.

    I won’t denigrate his service, because after that he had it as tough for as long as anybody, but it’s not like he said “Oh! Infantry Grunt? Sleep in a hole, eat cold rations in the rain, shit behind an anthill and try not to get bitten by anything overly lethal? Well, hell, sign me up for a whole bunch of that shit right now!”

    But then again, that’s part of the problem, ain’t it? I mean, I was over there for almost eleven months, never was a POW, never was tortured (at least in the narrowest interpretation of the word), and had some pretty good support around me. And I’m WAY to mentally unstable as a result to EVER be considered for the presidency.

    I’m telling you, that dood has GOT to be full on looney tunes. And these idiots wanna give him the football?

    Talk about not thinking it all the way through!!

    mikey

  119. stringonastick said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:14

    “kingubu said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:58

    Do you know that something like 30% of all Americans approve, if not flat out cheer on, the job Shrub Jr. is doing?

    I suspect the number is actually quite a bit lower if you factor out those who are disappointed in Der Fratboy’s performance but would rather die than give some Commie pinko pollster the satisfaction of admitting it.”

    We have a winner! I was able to witness exactly this at a dinner with my extremely wingnutty sister this past Thanksgiving. Even more delicious than the turkey was the lap-gazing embarassment after her hubby dissed the war, and it wasn’t about hubby saying it, it was totally about the realization that the boy king is a genocidal moron. But would she actually say that? Hell no. Big sis is never, ever wrong; Jebus wouldn’t allow it!

  120. Jennifer said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:14

    The true American Heritage IS NOT ONE OF RASCISM, GENOCIDE AND CLASSISM! It is one of Godly Family Values,

    Uh, do you think he’d be crushed if we pointed out that racism, genocide and classism are all practiced and extolled in the bible, and that they are, in fact, “godly family values”?

  121. BJS said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:16

    Re: And Franklin D. Roosevelt (Jones)

    FDR was known as “Basketball” Jones among the various urban Democratic party machines. Someone set a pick for him at the free throw line of life and he took it strong to the rim and became the 32nd President. Very inspiring.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIbp5C-5WXM

  122. Lesley said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:26

    aaaaaaargh. In another comment thread, neconservatives are arguing that Canada’s human rights commission is on par with Russia under Stalin. OMGOdz…I have never been happier to be a baby boomer because it means I am this much closer to being dead and not having to endure the stupid stupid STUPID humans anymore.

    Can’t take the stupid anymore, it’s killing me. I am increasingly tempted to find a cabin in the woods and co-exist with gophers and field mice.

  123. Jeff Fecke said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:30

    Martin Luther King, were he alive today but thankfully he’s not

    This phrase is the most accurate summation of the conservative view of MLK that has ever been penned.

  124. bob the hog said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:33

    …a singularity where the historical revisionism becomes so complete that all historical knowledge collapses into a small shiny bit of intellectual antimatter

    Is there no substance in the Universe immune to the conservativization of matter? Kucinich?
    .

  125. Jennifer said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:34

    Lesley – damn if I don’t know exactly how you feel. I noticed that sometime around when I turned 40, I just decided I was tired of people in general and their bullshit in particular (including my own).

    To the plus, I also noticed around the time I turned 40 that I just really don’t give a shit about too much of anything.

  126. Brandi said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:40

    Uh, do you think he’d be crushed if we pointed out that racism, genocide and classism are all practiced and extolled in the bible, and that they are, in fact, “godly family values”?

    About the only thing that’d crush Booger is a monster truck. I’d be willing to add a few extra tire grinds to be sure.

  127. Bastion Booger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:41

    The truth is, the Canadian human rights commision is fascist because of their persecution of Western Patriot Mark Steyn. The Conservative Prime Minister of Canada Stephen Harper is a good man and a defender of Western Civilization however the Conservative Party needs alot more members in the Parliment and Canadian government in general in order to more effectively participate in the defense of Western Civilization. My advice for Canada is to free Mark Steyn, vote in more Conservatives, fire the human rights commision and deport the muslim interlopers who don’t belong in Western Society.

  128. Lesley said,

    January 22, 2008 at 2:50

    If Bastion had a blog he’d ban sadlynosians and/or screen their comments.

  129. Susan of Texas said,

    January 22, 2008 at 3:03

    “Patriot Mark Steyn”

    I didn’t know he played for an American football team.

  130. pedestrian said,

    January 22, 2008 at 3:10

    The truth is, Dr. Martin Luther King was a Conservative and a Registered Republican. He was strongly opposed to abortion, affirmative action and gay rights.

    Oh, he hated those gays so much! Especially his close friend, the organizer of the 1963 March on Washington (where he gave his “I Have a Dream” speech). It’s a well known fact that his wife and daughter only worked tirelessly for gay rights until they died to spite him.

    You carry on that proud tradition and know that MLK would be proud. Watch out for zombie Reagan though, I hear he had several gay lovers.

  131. g said,

    January 22, 2008 at 3:13

    Bastion, do you think anyone pays attention to what you say?

  132. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    January 22, 2008 at 3:17

    You know who else was conservative? Abby Hoffman. So were Rosa Parks, Jane Fonda, John Lennon and the Panthers.

    Hey, hey, hey!

    You forgot Malcolm X.

    Kids today.

  133. stringonastick said,

    January 22, 2008 at 3:19

    Word. I see ol’ Bastion’n name at the top of the post and just scroll on by. Same for the rest of our turd infestation.

  134. Bastion Booger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 3:20

    Everyone pays attention to what I say because in your heart you know I’m Right!

  135. g said,

    January 22, 2008 at 3:21

    When I want a laugh.

  136. OTB said,

    January 22, 2008 at 3:25

    Leonard Pierce said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:05

    Calvin Coolidge was black, wasn’t he?

    Italian. It’s pronounced “Koo-LEE-djee”

    Sorry, Leonard, but it’s pronounced “Cooly G”, though sometimes he went by Notorious D.G.E., usually during press conferences.

    His first wax cylinder, “Yo! Bum Rush The Wireless!” singlehandedly invented break-dancing. Look it up. He was black.

  137. Me said,

    January 22, 2008 at 3:41

    Okay, here’s the deal–there are 11 federal holidays, 8 of which honor either the military/veterans, the USA, dead presidents or religious observance. The other three are New Year’s Day, MLK Day and Labor Day. You’d think the right would be satisfied with this ratio–only two lib-fascist holidays in the bunch!

    (And for all the good “Labor Day” does for the cause of, you know, labor, it might as well not even be included.)

  138. White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,

    January 22, 2008 at 3:46

    My advice for Canada is to free Mark Steyn, vote in more Conservatives, fire the human rights commision and deport the muslim interlopers who don’t belong in Western Society.

    Speaking on behalf of millions of Canadians, Boogers-for-Brains, I’d like to say this:

    Why don’t you go fuck yourself?

    It’s not enough for you and your GOP friends to have fucked up your own country— now you want to start fucking ours up, too?

    If you are really anxious to spread your brand of ignorant Republicanism around the world, why don’t you sign up for a tour of duty in Iraq?

  139. Tim (the other one) said,

    January 22, 2008 at 3:47

    “His first wax cylinder, “Yo! Bum Rush The Wireless!” singlehandedly invented break-dancing. Look it up. He was black.”

    I like his second cylinder better: “Bitch Bettah Have Ma Depression !!”

  140. Bastion Booger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 4:03

    The truth is my liberal Canadian friend, apparently you don’t speak for millions of your fellow Countrymen. They voted in Stephen Harper a pro-American Conservative who is pro-Iraq war, anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage, and pro-death penalty, as Prime Minister. Apparently many of your fellow Countrymen are Conservatives who wish to help America defend Western Civilization from islamo-fascism.

  141. Me said,

    January 22, 2008 at 4:21

    racism and segregation in America have only to do with the legacy of slavery, and not at all one’s black skin!

    In America, you are what you look like. Tiger Woods is about a half-dozen different things, but because of his appearance, he is universally thought of as “black”.

    Hitchens should’ve kept smoking and dropped the other vice instead.

  142. Jackson said,

    January 22, 2008 at 4:25

    If I Write with Capital Letters on Virtually Every Word like Bastion Booger, Does That Make my Arguments seem More Authoritative?

    Or Do I Just Sound Like a Twelve Year old Girl?

  143. TR said,

    January 22, 2008 at 4:29

    Bastion Booger isn’t really strong on logic.

    By his reckoning, since Bush is polling in the low 30s these days, BB doesn’t speak for two-thirds of the American people.

    Love it or leave it, loser.

  144. Anne Laurie said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:06

    I’m telling you, that dood has GOT to be full on looney tunes. And these idiots wanna give him the football?

    Talk about not thinking it all the way through!!

    Hell, Mikey — sometimes the only way I can sleep at night is by reminding myself that Nixon’s Secret Service detail had strict instructions not to let him play with Teh Attache Case. And while the ongoing government services have been degraded all to shite in the ensuing 30 years, the fact that there’s anything left of America besides crumpled sheets of obsidian glass convinces me that Commander Codpiece don’t get to play with *his* football, neither.

  145. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:06

    The truth is, if Bastion Booger wasn’t in here bothering Sadly Knowser, he’d be somewhere out there, bothering barnyard animals.

  146. Jennifer said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:11

    …the fact that there’s anything left of America besides crumpled sheets of obsidian glass convinces me that Commander Codpiece don’t get to play with *his* football, neither.

    I’m pretty sure they just gave him one of those vibrating football games from the 60s/70s and convinced him that was what was meant by “the football”. And he plays with it happily each afternoon before naptime.

  147. Jennifer said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:13

    BTW, if you haven’t seen this yet, check out Mitt Romney, a man so white he shits albino turds.

  148. Caveat said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:20

    “The truth is my liberal Canadian friend, apparently you don’t speak for millions of your fellow Countrymen. They voted in Stephen Harper a pro-American Conservative who is pro-Iraq war, anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage, and pro-death penalty”

    The truth is, this shining example of anal stenosis couldn’t find his pubic appendage at a circle jerk.

    Harper is not anti-abortion, anti-gay or pro-GOP. He’s not pro-war or pro-death penalty. And yes, we tend to like Americans in Canada, big bloody surprise there.

    Check your facts, moron, because obviously the nuances of Canadian politics (much like American politics) are way over your pointy little head.

    I’m a Canuck progressive conservative which means Democrat to you, by the way. Public healthcare, lots of social programs, grants, inclusiveness, good fiscal management, tax cuts for poor people and lots more – that’s what we right-wing Canadians like.

    So fuck off and go read some books instead of cluttering up the bandwidth that’s meant for your betters.

  149. ignobility said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:21

    He is as distant from the real “plantation” as I am. How — unless one thinks obsessively about color while affecting not to do so — does this make him “black”?

    If he’s not really black, would Hitchens would be willing to swap skin with him? I think not.

  150. Jim said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:36

    Dear sirs,
    Please don’t respond to poor Bastion. It renders him overexcited – he spends all day typing fecklessly at a keyboard until someone comes along and transcribes his near-incoherent rants for him.

    It has been scientifically proven that, left to their own devices, such poor creatures consistently end their days chewing away at their own tails. Your kind interventions can have no effect, and his brain is no more than a rocky place where your intellectual seed can find no purchase.

    Leave him be, the poor creature.

  151. Snorghagen said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:39

    BTW, if you haven’t seen this yet, check out Mitt Romney, a man so white he shits albino turds.

    Whew, Romney’s crackerjack campaign staff was on that article’s comments section like stink on shit: credentials and leadership experience… confidence-building… poised optimism… appeal as a top Presidential candidate… integrity, fortitude… leadership skills… great guy… impressive resume…

    Somehow, those aren’t the phrases that pop into my mind when I think of good ol’ Mitt.

  152. Caveat said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:41

    One more thing. Mark Stain is an embarrassment – almost, but not quite, as bad as Goldberg.

    That said, he’s free to blather in his column because I believe in freedom of expression, likely because I’m liberal in outlook, which makes me a fascist but vote conservative because I am a commie.

  153. Lesley said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:42

    If you are really anxious to spread your brand of ignorant Republicanism around the world, why don’t you sign up for a tour of duty in Iraq?

    Yeah, Bastion, and if fortune is on our side, you’ll be shot by a member of Blackwater. Given your politics, I’m sure you won’t mind at all.

  154. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:49

    Please, fish that Bastion has hooked, consider this:

    New script:
    http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/13541

  155. the_millionaire_lebowski said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:53

    Okay, here’s the deal–there are 11 federal holidays, 8 of which honor either the military/veterans, the USA, dead presidents or religious observance. The other three are New Year’s Day, MLK Day and Labor Day. You’d think the right would be satisfied with this ratio–only two lib-fascist holidays in the bunch!

    (And for all the good “Labor Day” does for the cause of, you know, labor, it might as well not even be included.)

    I’m quoting the above because it’s worth posting again; Dr. MLK Jr. day and Labor Day are the only two progessive holidays in the US. I’d also bet that they’re the two days that least have accompanying time off form private-secot jobs.

    Labor Day in the US always kills me. I mean, why don’t we celebrate it when the rest of the world does (May 1st)? Oh yeah, it’s because we’re busy celebrating the National Day of Prayer, a national observance enacted by president Fight-the-Commies-on-the-Calendar-so-We-Don’t-Have-to-Fight-Them-Here of course. Gah.

  156. Caveat said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:56

    If we celebrated Labor Day on May Day, that would make it another Conservative holiday.

  157. Lesley said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:57

    Harper is not anti-abortion, anti-gay or pro-GOP. He’s not pro-war or pro-death penalty. And yes, we tend to like Americans in Canada, big bloody surprise there.

    Well actually, Caveat, Harper is emphatically not pro-gay or pro-choice, but he’s being awfully quiet about his religious convictions right now because he has a minority government and can’t afford to lose the few moderate Conservatives who voted for him. He’s doing his damndest to make himself seem a reasonable man. I work for the feds. I’m seeing the damage he’s doing on a daily basis.

    Early in his tenure he wanted to revisit the gay marriage act and that didn’t pan out, he was all for the Iraq war and Bush in 2003, urging Canada to participate and condemning the Prime Minister of the day for criticizing Bush’s foreign policy. He continued with that stance until shortly before the election when Bush’s popularity reached an all time low at home and abroad. I’m sure he’d love to bring back the death penalty, since he’s very keen on punishment and not so keen on rehab or preventive measures to resolve crime, but that’s another can of worms he won’t risk opening now. (How do we know his position on the death penalty? In an unprecedented move, he refused to intervene in the case of a Canadian on death row in the United States. Harper’s willing to let that man be executed rather than bring him home to serve a life sentence.)

    Harper keeps close tabs on his cabinet ministers lest they open their uninformed ignorant mouths and embarrass him….like the time Stockwell Day admitted believing dinosaurs and humans roamed the earth together.

    Harper may be more articulate than Bush but he’s a liar, a back stabber, and a con artist who will sell Canada’s natural resources to the US private sector the minute he has a majority government. All part of the secret negotiations Canadians aren’t privy too.

    His biggest backer? Brian Mulroney who “negotiated” the free trade agreement. Enough said.

  158. Dagoril said,

    January 22, 2008 at 5:57

    God bless you Righteous Bubba.

    The only way it could be a better script, is if it replaced their messages instead with random pr0n :)

  159. pedestrian said,

    January 22, 2008 at 6:04

    Labor Day in the US always kills me. I mean, why don’t we celebrate it when the rest of the world does (May 1st)?

    It’s ok, I’m starting to enjoy May Day’s new incarnation as Mexofascist Open Borders Hate America Day. With current demographic trends and a pinch of luck, we should christening it “Immigration Day” right around the time they put Hillary on the $10 bill.

    [grinchy smile spreads slowly over face]

  160. Me said,

    January 22, 2008 at 6:05

    Labor Day in the US always kills me.

    Seriously, is there another holiday that’s been more removed from its original inspiration? Christmas perhaps, although even there we have the occasional “War on Christmas” non-controversy to remind us of “the reason for the season”.

    Labor Day was started by labor unions, but nowadays it’s merely an excuse to get a Monday off. Not that I’m complaining, mind you.

  161. Mo's Bike Shop said,

    January 22, 2008 at 6:11

    I’m telling you, that dood has GOT to be full on looney tunes. And these idiots wanna give him the football?

    Talk about not thinking it all the way through!!

    I’d suggest that you’re underestimating their sense of nihilism.

  162. Lesley said,

    January 22, 2008 at 6:15

    God bless you Righteous Bubba.

    The only way it could be a better script, is if it replaced their messages instead with random pr0n :)

    if pr0n=liberal/lefty comments.

  163. Tehanu said,

    January 22, 2008 at 6:22

    Most racists would not just look at a black person and decide to discriminate against them; they would first determine if he was an African-American, and thus part of the legacy of slavery, or an African,* in which case there would be no reason whatsoever to discriminate against them. Plus, he’s biracial, and no one has ever discriminated against mixed-race people in America! Thus, presto-change-o, Barack Obama is not black, and therefore has never experienced any racial discrimination, and any attempt by him to engage in ‘identity politics’ is itself shameful racism of the sort that Martin Luther King, were he alive today but thankfully he’s not, would totally condemn. How far we’ve come, Lord, how far!

    I’d just like to see Hitchens doing a “Black Like Me” thing and finding out that being a descendant of British drunks is no defense against being arrested for Driving While Black.

  164. Caveat said,

    January 22, 2008 at 6:34

    “Harper may be more articulate than Bush but he’s a liar, a back stabber, and a con artist who will sell Canada’s natural resources to the US private sector the minute he has a majority government. All part of the secret negotiations Canadians aren’t privy too. ”

    I get where you’re coming from, Lesley and believe me, because of Steve’s Alliance background I was a bit trepidatious myself when he was elected. I actually didn’t vote conservative in the last fed election because I wasn’t keen on our local candidate. I voted Green, even more right-wing – er, commie :>)

    Harper recently set aside 10 million acres in the McKenzie river basin, declaring it off limits to industry in perpetuity. It is the largest parcel of land set aside by Federal decree in many decades.

    He held a free vote on the gay marriage issue because he knew it wouldn’t pass and wanted to put it to bed once and for all. In fact, as many Liberals voted against gay marriage as Conservatives.

    He shut Quebec up in about 15 minutes and now he’s got the Libranos by the short and curlies. I can’t help admiring the guy

    As for the fellow on death row, I’m afraid that if one plans to gun people down in cold blood, get caught and convicted, I won’t be shedding too many tears over it.

    Unfortunately, the media in Canada, with a few exceptions, insidiously colours most people’s opinion against the current government.

    I find Steve to be a breath of fresh air. I like the way he gets things done. I, like many Canadians, got sick of Liberal hypocrisy, the constant promises that never seemed to materialize and most of all the corruption, ripoffs and lies.

    The beauty of our system, unlike the US system, is that it is a constitutional democracy. The Prime Minister may hold personal beliefs with which we agree or disagree but the parliamentary system keeps those in check. In other words, the PM doesn’t have the power of a US president to push his own agenda.

    As much as I like Harper, and I am pleasantly surprised, nay, mpressed by his strategic ability, I am also a big fan of minority governments, which are almost guaranteed as long as the Bloc, which is basically a provincial party, holds a good chunk of seats in the House.

    Which way the wind is blowing in the next election will determine how I vote, ie, I’ll be hoping for another minority government.

    Pax.

  165. the_millionaire_lebowski said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:00

    The beauty of our system, unlike the US system, is that it is a constitutional democracy. The Prime Minister may hold personal beliefs with which we agree or disagree but the parliamentary system keeps those in check. In other words, the PM doesn’t have the power of a US president to push his own agenda.

    Technicially, that’s how it’s supposed to be here (in the US) too. Just sayin’.. it can happen there too.

  166. Bastion Booger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:08

    The truth is, the Conservative Party in Canada is a pretty good party. It will be even better if Stephen Harper and his Conservatives of the same rightwing philosophy gain the majority government where they can actually implement Conservative policies such as outlawing abortion, banning gay marriage, reestablishing the death penalty, restoring the right to private gunownership, lowering taxes, reducing the size of the Federal government and abolishing the welfare state. Then Canada will become prosperous once again and be closer ideologically to America.

  167. g said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:10

    Hey, Bastion, have you ever been right about anything?

  168. Bastion Booger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:14

    I am right now, if Canada enacts those Conservative principles into law they will be all the better and more economically, militarily, socially and culturally prosperous. With those Conservative policies in place how could any Western Nation go wrong?

  169. Lesley said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:14

    The air of politicians usually always smells faintly (or strongly) of sewer to me, caveat. It’s never fresh.

    I’m kinda stunned you think Harper’s a supporter of the environment given his appalling record so far, and if he’s saved a few million acres more than other Prime Ministers I expect it’s because the lobby to do so was strong enough to force his hand.

    Re the death penalty: you might want to remember that many of the inmates on death row in the US are poor blacks who can’t afford lawyers, been assigned legal aid and rushed through the system. They’re not all guilty. You may be comfortable taking that risk. I’m not, especially after the high profile cases we’ve seen here (Milgaard, Truscott, Guy Paul Morin, and Donald Marshall). Granted, I wouldn’t shed a tear if Clifford Olson or Paul Bernardo took one between the ribs but for everyone of those (and they are rare), there are people serving time for crimes they did not commit. We’ve seen this time and again. I wouldn’t want their deaths on my conscience.

    Majority governments have proven to be problematic when they go on for too long (with no changes at the top), but if you’re assuming your “breath of fresh air” is trustworthy only if he’s in a minority position, I’d suggest to you there’s not much trust there and perhaps just a tinge of unpleasant odor on that breeze. :)

  170. Lesley said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:15

    g, bastion is most emphatically Right about everything. That’s what makes him so wrong.

  171. Bastion Booger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:19

    I’m serious though. With Conservative policies in place such as the banning of abortion, the banning of gay marriage, the death penalty, the right to private gunownership, increased military spending, lower taxes, limited government and the free market how could any Western Nation go wrong or fail?

  172. Bastion Booger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:21

    Any Western Nation that enacts and remains faithful to those Conservative Principles will be superior economically, militarily, culturally and morally.

  173. pedestrian said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:28

    Well, I could do without gay marriage if we can also ban the death penalty, gun ownership, military spending, and tax cuts for the rich. On balance, bb may be onto something.

    Can we ban straight marriage too though? Just to be fair.

  174. joeyess said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:29

    I demand another thread. This one is beginning to smell and I need to be entertained!!!!

  175. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:34

    I’m serious too. You don’t want to know what Basted Booger used to do to helpless goats before the internons gave him another outlet for his er … tensions.

  176. Bastion Booger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:40

    Before we move on to another thread someone answer my question about a Western Nation enacting those Conservative Principles which of course would make that Nation prosperous.

  177. Jennifer said,

    January 22, 2008 at 7:47

    I don’t know about a western nation that embodies conservative principles, but the state of Arkansas does. Low taxes, low public spending, low wages, the poor have zero power, the wealthy call all the shots…basically you’re saying that the country would be better off if it looked more like Arkansas with its pitiful infrastructure, education, poverty, teen pregnancy, infant mortality etc.

    Not exactly the model of prosperity most of us would strive for.

  178. pedestrian said,

    January 22, 2008 at 8:01

    It’s ok Jennifer, they’ll be glad they chose as they did when God gets around to raining fire on MA for having gay weddings.

    Unless She misses and hits them instead… God has notoriously shitty aim.

  179. MC Romney said,

    January 22, 2008 at 8:07

    I need to be entertained!!!!

    I found this entertaining.

  180. joeyess said,

    January 22, 2008 at 8:14

    thank you.

  181. pedestrian said,

    January 22, 2008 at 8:15

    Wow. Mitt needs to step away from the “bling bling” and go back to “hunting varmints, as it were”

    I think he actually managed to make an even bigger ass of himself than he has yet this race. MITT ’08!!!

  182. Dagoril said,

    January 22, 2008 at 8:25

    I’m serious too. You don’t want to know what Basted Booger used to do to helpless goats before the internons gave him another outlet for his er … tensions.

    That goat wasn’t helpless. He was dressed like a slut. He was practically begging for it! He had assumed a wide stance and everything.

  183. the_millionaire_lebowski said,

    January 22, 2008 at 10:10

    Did this work?

    This?

    Bah!

  184. smut clyde said,

    January 22, 2008 at 10:34

    Tears of a Clown, indeed.
    These are a vital ingredient of a decent martini.

  185. Lesley said,

    January 22, 2008 at 11:00

    Hey, all you cat lovers… must. read. this.

  186. DirtyFuckingHippie said,

    January 22, 2008 at 12:20

    Jesus! The stinky-fishhead-thread is still active. This thread has marks on it from where the jockey was hittin’ it.

    I know. I’m mixing my metaphors.

    In other words:

    THIS FUCKING THREAD SMELLS OF NASTY FUCKING SOCKS!!!!!!!! NEW THREAD ALREADY!!!! FUCK!!!11!!one!!!1

  187. Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said,

    January 22, 2008 at 12:28

    why don’t we celebrate it when the rest of the world does (May 1st)? Oh yeah, it’s because we’re busy celebrating the National Day of Prayer

    You what?!? National Day of Prayer? Really? Wow, you guys really have a fine theocracy a-building there, doncher?

    Although I can imagine the reverent hum going up from the middle of North America on May Day: “Sweet Jesus, get these fucking clowns out of office before they get us all killed! And me and my entire family would like a job, please, if it’s not too much trouble: something that will allow us to move out of our hole in the ground and into a house would be nice, if you could see your way clear. Love and kisses, and remember me to your mum and dad”.

  188. Nasty Fuck-Sock said,

    January 22, 2008 at 12:38

    Gonna get you tonight, DirtyFuckingHippie. Gonna get you in your dreams.

  189. Bastion Booger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 14:37

    If you are really anxious to spread your brand of ignorant Republicanism around the world, why don’t you sign up for a tour of duty in Iraq?

    Because I’m a pussy.

  190. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 22, 2008 at 14:43

    Who tied the dog to the car roof? Who! WHO!

  191. saul said,

    January 22, 2008 at 15:19

    Shalom, gentlemen.

  192. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    January 22, 2008 at 15:53

    The truth is, we need a new thread before Basted Booger gets bored and goes out to the goat shed!

  193. (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,

    January 22, 2008 at 15:55

    My Yia Yia (Grandmother) got to enjoy a lovely cross-burning in her front yard when her Dad ran for Mayor, all after her parents had to leave what is now Turkey. Do I fit in anywhere?

    Shalom Saul.

  194. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 22, 2008 at 16:34

    DJIA 11648.8 -450.5 NASDAQ 2222.32 -117.7 S&P 500 1281.79 -43.4

    Must be Clinton’s fault.

  195. J— said,

    January 22, 2008 at 16:45

    So Romney sang a Trinidadian Carnival song popularized by a Bahamian music group. American music not good enough for you, Governor Romney?

  196. duros62 said,

    January 22, 2008 at 16:54

    Seriously, is there another holiday that’s been more removed from its original inspiration?

    Arbor Day?

  197. saul said,

    January 22, 2008 at 17:15

    The reality is, liberals hoping for a stock market crash, when there will not be one, and how else can you spell “I Hate USA?” Classwar.

  198. atheist said,

    January 22, 2008 at 17:19

    I hope Saul never trades stocks or commodities. He’d be a terrible judge of objective market conditions.

  199. Brandi said,

    January 22, 2008 at 17:20

    Because I’m a pussy.

    Someone just broke kayfabe.

  200. kiki said,

    January 22, 2008 at 17:24

    That was me. I thought I’d break Bastion’s kayfabe for him. He hasn’t complained though, so perhaps the assessment is accurate.

  201. saul said,

    January 22, 2008 at 17:27

    Oh, and you liberals? You are all gays.

  202. Mary Ruppert said,

    January 22, 2008 at 17:34

    But it’s Hitch we’re talking about, and he’s never been one to let facts get in the way of a nice bit of demagoguery.

    Demagoguery is what he does best and his latest book is no exception.

  203. TR said,

    January 22, 2008 at 17:38

    The reality is, liberals hoping for a stock market crash, when there will not be one, and how else can you spell “I Hate USA?” Classwar.

    Yes, I’m hoping my 401(k) goes into the toilet, just so I can score some political points.

    I hope this is just an act or a spoof, because I have a hard time believing anyone could be so stupid. Even a Republican.

  204. Mary Ruppert said,

    January 22, 2008 at 17:39

    saul at 17:15 Are you stupid?

  205. Mitt Romney said,

    January 22, 2008 at 17:40

    So Romney sang a Trinidadian Carnival song popularized by a Bahamian music group. American music not good enough for you, Governor Romney?

    Non! Je ne regrette rien!

  206. atheist said,

    January 22, 2008 at 17:55

    My Yia Yia (Grandmother) got to enjoy a lovely cross-burning in her front yard when her Dad ran for Mayor,

    Lex:

    Jeez. Where was that?

  207. Johnn y Coelacanth said,

    January 22, 2008 at 18:04

    “Must be Clinton’s fault.”

    Well, of course. I recall many exchanges with wingnuts in the mid 90s, who insisted that the thriving economy of the Clinton years came from the economic policies of Reagan and Bush I. By that logic, yes, it’s Clinton’s fault.

  208. El Cid said,

    January 22, 2008 at 18:05

    All our economic successes stem from the McKinley administrations’ bold embrace of the unregulated market.

  209. Johnn y Coelacanth said,

    January 22, 2008 at 18:15

    All our economic successes stem from the McKinley administrations’ bold embrace of the unregulated market.

    Indeed, if the first cave man had not charged his neighbor a tiger pelt in exchange for a hunk of mammoth meat, our glorious economy might never have existed at all.

  210. El Cid said,

    January 22, 2008 at 18:21

    Snow tiger?

  211. billy pilgrim said,

    January 22, 2008 at 18:22

    banning of abortion, = more women dying as a result of unsupervised abortions
    the banning of gay marriage, = lack of support for the families of 10% of Canadians
    the death penalty, = debasing the moral standing of the government by descending to the level of murderers PLUS the added fun of killing innocent men like in America
    the right to private gunownership, = the increase of private gun deaths
    increased military spending, = less money for infrstructure and the citizens of Canada
    lower taxes, = less money to spend on that incresed bright and shiny military
    limited government = less investment in citizens and infrastructure
    and the free market = corporate oligarchies looting what remains of the Treasury.

    And at the end of the day, you wind up like America: broke, spending borrowed money, in a recession, with a decaying infrastructure and rampant homelessness, hunger, and poverty, unsuportable healthcare system designed by a crony-dependent legislature, destroying the military by throwing it against a rock, again and again, like a child who’s grown tired of his toy.

    Yeah, how can anyone resist THAT?

  212. actor212 said,

    January 22, 2008 at 18:27

    Any Western Nation that enacts and remains faithful to those Conservative Principles will be superior economically, militarily, culturally and morally.

    Yea. That explains why we’ve lived them for twenty years and are falling behind China…

  213. actor212 said,

    January 22, 2008 at 18:29

    Mary Ruppert said,

    January 22, 2008 at 17:39

    saul at 17:15 Are you stupid?

    You mean, you didn’t get that at “Shalom, gentlemen”?

  214. Legalize said,

    January 22, 2008 at 18:51

    “The reality is, liberals hoping for a stock market crash, when there will not be one, and how else can you spell “I Hate USA?” Classwar.”

    Yes. I hate America so much that I keep contributing to my 401k simply so that it will keep losing value. Taking a bath in the markets rules as long as it makes Bush look bad.

    Dumb ass.

  215. t4toby said,

    January 22, 2008 at 19:05

    No matter how many times I stab this thread, it just won’t die!

  216. El Cid said,

    January 22, 2008 at 19:18

    Conservative Communism: Republican Stalinism from “Dizzy With Success” to “Mission Accomplished”

  217. tritonesub said,

    January 22, 2008 at 19:19

    Did you know that Arkansas, Alabama and Mississippi celebrate Robert E. Lee day on Martin Luther King day? Now why, he wondered aloud, would they not give Lee his own day but instead decide to place it on MLK day? And why would adding the confederate flag to a state flag or flying the confederate flag at a statehouse coincide with the beginning of the civil rights movement? And why, in Montgomery Alabama would the historical marker heralding Rosa Parks arrest and the beginning of the modern civil rights movement have on it’s reverse a marker for Hank Williams making a recording? I can’t imagine. New South? Looks like the Old South to me. Southerners decrying my broad brush begins in 3…2…1…

  218. mikey said,

    January 22, 2008 at 19:53

    This is fascinating, y’all.

    But I think I’ll go over to the office products closet and play with the BIG stapler. Sorry, but it’s just a lot more interesting…

    mikey

  219. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    January 22, 2008 at 20:03

    Legalize, you know you’re taking a bath just so you can drown your FourOhWonKay in the bathtub!

    The only thing that bothers me about trolls like Saul & BB is they are mimicing shitheads who really believe this crap. If astronomers told us the fucking sun was about to go supernova those fuckers would die screaming “It’s teh libruls fault!!!”

    No wonder they admire the Chimperor, that bastard never takes responsibilty for anything.

  220. kingubu said,

    January 22, 2008 at 20:33

    I bet Gary Ruppert would give us fresh threads if he were running things around here.

  221. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 20:37

    But I think I’ll go over to the office products closet and play with the BIG stapler.

    Big staplers are pretty interesting.

  222. t4toby said,

    January 22, 2008 at 20:53

    I bet Gary Ruppert would give us fresh threads if he were running things around here.

    If by ‘fresh’ you mean staler than the French rolls at the Food Bank, then I will agree.

    But this is the ripest thread I have ever witnessed in Sadlyland. I currently have a clothespin attached to my probiscus in order to intercept the pernicious vapours.*

    *I added the u for our neighbors to the North, eh.

  223. mikey said,

    January 22, 2008 at 20:54

    Big staplers are pretty interesting.

    Yeah they are. But here’s a piece of hard-earned advice.

    Don’t staple the prepress tech.

    People get REALLY worked up over that…

    mikey

  224. t4toby said,

    January 22, 2008 at 20:57

    I work with building plans, so I have quite a bit of familiarity with the big stapler.

    Its just like the little stapler, but twice as frustrating. But maybe I shouldn’t try to staple 100 pages at a time…

  225. kiki said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:01

    Seeing as the thread’s lingering, I have a little question for our resident troll (that’s singular – you can have as many names/schizoid personalities as you like, you’re still one person) and his risible, proto-fascist jacking off about the “Heartland”:

    In which state was George W. Bush born?

    Already laughing at you in advance of your reply.

  226. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:03

    But maybe I shouldn’t try to staple 100 pages at a time…

    Yes you should. That’s what the big stapler is for.

  227. Erudite Larry Guppert said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:03

    George W Bush was not born, he stoically rose from the primordial muck to defend the Heartland against Liberal Scum such as yourself.

  228. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:05

    Stapling LESS than 100 pages is a problem with the big staplers, as you get this big chunk of metal poking out.

  229. Pastion Pooper said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:05

    If you Liburals had any sense of decency you would agree that George W Bush is the greatest president the world has ever seen, but you are blinded by BDS.

  230. t4toby said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:06

    I think I may need longer staples.

  231. mikey said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:07

    Hmmm. The prepress tech was hollering something about shorter staples…

    mikey

  232. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:08

    http://www.virtualstapler.com/

  233. t4toby said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:10

    I have no press. Just a digitizer.

  234. t4toby said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:10

    Holy shit, RB, that motherhummer’s chrome!

  235. J— said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:11

    Does your supply closet have one of these?

  236. t4toby said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:12

    No. No it does not.

  237. Leonard Pierce said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:14

    Man, you guys really need something to do, don’t you?

  238. pedestrian said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:14

    Did the Sadly Staff join the writers strike and forget to tell us? I guess I would have to support that. I will be in my dark little corner playing with balls of tissue, trying to conserve what little enthusiasm I have left for life so that I can eagerly await a response.

  239. billy pilgrim said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:14

    I have a big stapler right here. Every time Dep’ty Booger says something stupid, I blast a big staple right through that comment.

    But now my screen budget is out of hand something fierce….

  240. Milton said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:14

    Y– Excuse me. You– I believe you have my stapler?

  241. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:15

    Holy shit, RB, that motherhummer’s chrome!

    I really virtually lean into that one to staple.

    J—, stapler sex with bunnies should have a NSFW warning.

  242. pedestrian said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:18

    http://www.virtualstapler.com/

    Heh heh. click heh heh heh click click click
    *tosses tissue aside and leans forward intently*

  243. t4toby said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:20

    Is there a version of Godwins law about the staleness of a thread and a discussion of office supplies?

    If the isn’t, I hereby dub it the Fishmongers Law.

  244. actor212 said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:25

    In which state was George W. Bush born?

    Third base, thinking he’d hit a triple.

    In other words, Connecticut.

  245. pedestrian said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:26

    If the isn’t, I hereby dub it the Fishmongers Law.

    Now we’re getting something done! Great idea, but I prefer “Milton’s Corollary” in honor of the character from Office Space – who happens to be right here in this room!

  246. Milton said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:27

    And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry… But then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll, I’ll, I’ll set the building on fire…

  247. pedestrian said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:27

    Wasn’t he born in Massachusetts? We don’t talk about it, but I’ve pieced to together from the awkward silences.

  248. mikey said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:28

    Man, you guys really need something to do, don’t you?

    Nooo!

    We have staplers.

    And Band-Aids.

    We’re good here…

    mikey

  249. pedestrian said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:31

    We don’t need nothin from noone nohow!

    Maybe some music…

  250. Legalize said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:33

    I like to try to staple documents of over 30 pages with the little electronic stapler. It rarely works. However, it does provide me with many opportunities to say “god damn it”.

  251. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:37

    Music at the top of my page.

    http://righteousbubba.blogspot.com/

    It’s pretty good to staple to.

    The thing about the big stapler is you need the big staple remover.

  252. Dr X said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:38

    A conservative likes this?

    [Obama] is as distant from the real “plantation” as I am. How — unless one thinks obsessively about color while affecting not to do so — does this make him “black”?

    I thought black was a color. I didn’t know that conservatives have embraced POMO and deconstruction . Then again, maybe they’ve just embraced a form of relativism that says you may be a post-modernist when it’s morally inconvenient to do otherwise.

  253. pedestrian said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:38

    I reserve my foulest epithets for the mail machine. People who walk by and hear me muttering must think that I have Turrets.

  254. El Cid said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:46

    If Fred Thompson withdraws from a Presidential race, does it make a sound?

  255. tigrismus said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:49

    Hee hee, I now have a mental image of a guy walking around with these attached…

  256. Snowwy said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:50

    Fred Thompson is about to become a non-entity for right-wingers. He’s dropped out of the race for the nomination.

    So no all those times our resident trolls endorsed him will be denied as ever having happened.

    And we will laugh at them all the more.

  257. Fromago-fascist said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:53

    It’s better that we discuss office supplies than fight over Broccoli. I, for one, don’t think he was that good a director.

  258. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:56

    If Fred Thompson withdraws from a Presidential race, does it make a sound?

    It’s kind of a feeble creak, like those staple-free staplers.

  259. kingubu said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:56

    Wait, Fred’s out? Now WTF am I gonna call that bourbon and Metamucil concoction?

  260. mikey said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:59

    Now WTF am I gonna call that bourbon and Metamucil concoction?

    That’s a great question.

    If it’s any help, I mix Metamucil and Kaopectate 50/50 in shooters.

    I call it the old “Down and In”….

    mikey

  261. t4toby said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:06

    BTW – Excellent call on the Milton, whoever that was.

  262. Legalize said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:08

    Fred Thompson did his bit for the GOP establishment by taking down Huckleberry in South Carolina. Now he can finally realize his dream of continuing to play one demensional bit roles in action movies, cop shows, and lawyer programs.

    What’s that? Oh.

  263. Lesley said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:11

    Music at the top of my page. http://righteousbubba.blogspot.com/
    It’s pretty good to staple to. The thing about the big stapler is you need the big staple remover.

    Good for Swingline dancing?

  264. BJS said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:11

    Russians don’t take a dump, son, without a plan.

  265. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:18

    “BTW – Excellent call on the Milton, whoever that was.”

    *smiles knowingly whilst caressing his Swingline*

  266. Tim (the other one) said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:18

    The fact is, I come here for new threads that are central to my point dammitt.

  267. Dagoril said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:22

    Oh, don’t even get me started on broccoli. It’s like brussels sprouts, only with a friendlier face.

    Kind of like as “compassionate conservatism” is to socialist realism.

  268. J— said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:28

    Man, you guys really need something to do, don’t you?

    Oh, it’s not that. Goldberg has a long reply to Neiwert, for example, but I can bring myself to sit down and read The Whole Thing. So instead, I’m procrastinating by searching the Great Gazoogle for odd staplers.

    If Fred Thompson withdraws from a Presidential race, does it make a sound?

    Not sure, but I do know it leads directly to the sounds of lamentation from liberal fascists like us who have enjoyed his honorable, universally conservative, authentically fake campaign. Don’t go, Fred. D., don’t go! We’ll miss so!

  269. J— said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:32

    We’ll miss you so!

    I ain’t doing too hot today.

  270. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:33

    If Fred Thompson withdraws from a Presidential race, does it make a sound?

    Yep. It sounds like Tweety & JLoad sobbing into their pillows.

  271. t4toby said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:34

    I just keep hitting refresh so I can put my *Zed !* on the new thread.

    There is going to be a new thread, right?

  272. Lesley said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:35

    “I hope that my country and my party have benefited from our having
    made this effort,” [Fred Basset] said in a statement.

    Oh yeah, sure, fella. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

  273. actor212 said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:36

    If Fred Thompson withdraws from a Presidential race, does it make a sound?

    Who?

  274. Lesley said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:37

    oh yeah, and Fred, please don’t return to Law and Order. The show has improved since the departure of yourself (and that very bad actress – don’t know her name…who couldn’t act worth a damn either).

  275. t4toby said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:39

    I ain’t doing too hot today.

    Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you.

  276. actor212 said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:39

    Lesley said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:37

    oh yeah, and Fred, please don’t return to Law and Order.

    Who? Law and what, now?

  277. g said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:48

    So is he gone?

    And who has the large 3-hole punch? I don’t like this little one.

  278. g said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:49

    Ah, yes, I see from CNN he’s outa there.

    Cue the wailing and teeth-gnashing.

  279. Grand Moff Texan said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:50

    If Fred Thompson withdraws from a Presidential race, does it make a sound?

    Two sounds, actually.

    Gently jostling as they swayingly enter the limo, one … last … time.
    .

  280. J— said,

    January 22, 2008 at 22:55

    Also heard after Thompson’s departure, K. J. Lopez’s elegy.

    I think he felt like he was wanted or needed — remember “Draft Fred!”? If you felt like your country needed you, you might run, too.

  281. stryx said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:00

    I hear Bruce is gonna be here soon.

    Then we’ll get a new thread. Or a new stapler. Or a new Brassicaceae. Whatever.

  282. Legalize said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:00

    I don’t remember “Draft Fred” anything. What I do remember is Tweety swooning over him at every available opportunity, and reichwing commenters on teh internets telling us how Fred! was going to be inhabited by the ghost of Ronald Reagan, while they simulaneously wet themselves over the prosepect of goose-stepping to a good authoritarian with a manufactured southern drawl, and folksy charm.

    Looks like they’ll have to find a new daddy to hold the leash.

  283. BJS said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:01

    There has to be enough to say about the Fred dropout to push this thread over 300 comments. C’mon people!

    Then again, maybe not…

  284. g said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:04

    What I do remember is Tweety swooning over him

    Oh, yes, the Aqua Velva! Mmmmmm!!!!

    I have some broccoli romanesco. How’s that?

  285. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:07

    Goldberg has a long reply to Neiwert, for example, but I can bring myself to sit down and read The Whole Thing.

    Chock full o’ nutty. The guy can’t read sentences.

  286. BJS said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:08

    The Times just described him as “phlegmatic” in their obit style exit piece. I love how like real obits, they have these things written about 90% of the way finished and then off the shelf it comes with a little tweaking and it’s ready to publish.

  287. g said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:12

    NY Times: “His speaking style swung between folksy and laconic to the point of sleepy.”

    Ni-i-i-c-c-e!

  288. Candy said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:20

    I call it the old “Down and In”….

    Bourbon and Milk of Magnesia would be the “Down and Out”.

    . . . yeah, I’ll admit that’s kinda gross.

    the Fred is dead
    Long live the Fred
    He wouldn’t have known
    What to do with the Fed
    Nor what to do with Iraq
    Heck he couldn’t put a peach
    in a gunnysack.
    So Fred’s campaign is
    six feet under.
    I wonder who’ll replace
    K-Lo’s man of slow thunder?
    candy, inspired

  289. Hysterical Woman said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:24

    Legalize, if those authoritarian worshipers just went and got into BDSM instead of politics, America would be much more happy. Just put out an ad for your dream Master at alt.com instead of trying to get him elected, people.

  290. saul said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:25

    Shalom.

  291. saul said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:26

    The reality is, Thompson was a stealth Hollywood liberal full of hard left values to spring on us, good thing we outed him so a real conservative from the Heartland will be nominated, what we need.

  292. Legalize said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:27

    Seriously, I can think of quite a few people who would be more than happy to dom a few GOP subs – for a nice rate too!

  293. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:29

    The fact is, if Osama wins the presidency, or if Hitlery does, there will be another revolution. Here in the heartland, we will rest America back from you sickos who stole it from the real people. The ones who work hard. We are the ants and you are the big dumb lazy grasshopper welfare queens getting grants for USA hate. Time to kill you.

  294. El Cid said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:30

    I’ll give you guys credit for being loyal to your own schtick.

  295. Dagoril said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:31

    …on teh internets telling us how Fred! was going to be…

    Ah yes, the Fred! marketing campaign. Brought to us by the same people who did the Milk! and Beef! campaigns.

    Now I suppose we will be subjected to the redoubled efforts of wingnuts to draft Bloomberg.

  296. Jennifer said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:31

    Fred is dead…
    That’s what I said…

    (channeling a little Curtis Mayfield here)

  297. J— said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:32

    saul said,
    January 22, 2008 at 23:25

    Shalom.

    Saul goes gender neutral with his salutation—a huge victory for liberal fascists!

  298. BJS said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:35

    Saul/Gary just got home from school! How nice! They need to mandate longer school days in teh Heartland.

    The relentless capitalization seems to be gone, but, alas, the homonym confusion remains…

  299. billy pilgrim said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:38

    There WAS an old-fashioned conservative from teh Heartland in the race: Thompson (Tommy)!! And by old-fashioned, I mean greedy corporate white guy.

    The Reich Wing all spit on him.

  300. tigrismus said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:41

    Gary should be banned for that. Not funny and a complete waste of electrons, except for what it evinces about the quality of the mind behind it.

  301. Ned Hades said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:41

    Not to hijack the thread or anything, but after Thompson announced his epic fail one of my cohorts passed on a rumor that some of Fuckabee’s staffers are eschewing paychecks ‘coz he’s starting to run out of (financial) steam. (I’ll bet Chuck Norris didn’t come cheap.) I suspect she was just trying to cheer me up, though.

  302. Fozzetti said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:42

    What we need is a Worship Hammer:
    http://www.hisgloryringministries.com/tn-hammer.html

  303. Jules said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:43

    Paul Greenberg! Is he still around? I thought he exploded from Clinton-induced apoplexy years ago.

    Not only is he still around, we got to read his yearly Robert E. Lee lovefest this weekend.
    http://www.sacbee.com/110/story/639929.html

  304. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:45

    Gary should be banned for that.

    Sounds reasonable to me.

  305. g said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:46

    Yeah, I’m not fond of Gary’s tendancy to use threats of violence and murder. Just picky, I am.

    I am curious where you go to apply for grants for USA hate. Seems like Gary kind of already has that one down, seeing as how he advocates killing American citizens.

  306. BJS said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:51

    More thread hijacking. Apparently Heath Ledger has been found dead in his apt. in New York. Banner on CNN.com

  307. stryx said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:52

    The GarySaulBot sez:

    Time to kill you.

    Now just remember that we’re the fascists.

  308. actor212 said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:53

    Gary and Saul and BB always remind me the stories of Tokyo Rose during WWII.

    “You Joes, you girlfriends out sexing up neighbors. They make bangy-bangy with milkman. Go home! Take care of woman!”

  309. g said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:54

    Apparently Heath Ledger has been found dead in his apt

    Oh, shit. A friend of mine worked with him on a film.

  310. actor212 said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:54

    Oh dear. I do hope he didn’t broke his back mounting.

  311. BJS said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:55

    Looks like a drug overdose….

  312. Fromago-fascist said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:56

    The voice in side Gary/Saul/BB’s head screams in the voice of Piglet: “Die! Die! Everybody die!”

  313. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:56

    “Looks like a drug overdose….”

    Or was it Gary?

  314. BJS said,

    January 22, 2008 at 23:58

    I think Gary/Saul/BB is more like Son of Sam and takes his marching orders from the neighbor’s dog.

  315. mikey said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:00

    Time to kill you.

    Pretty sure if it was MY site I couldn’t allow this.

    You know, beyond all the social niceties, there’s those pesky legal issues…

    mikey

  316. Doctorb Science said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:01

    Now that he’s no longer in the race, Fred Thompson can go to Malta to find Joseph Palermo, the man who shot his partner.

    Meatballs fried in lard!

  317. (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:02

    Athiest @ 17:55–Tarpon Springs, Florida. Biggest Greek community outside of Greece or Cyprus, though Australia maybe has now surpassed. This was in the 20s. They said a Greek would never be mayor of a town in FL. I think their Grandkids are the lamewads I drive past occasionally in trailer parks.

    Sad but true though. Oh well, he was a big player otherwise and his son practically owned Tampa. Success is always the best revenge. We keep many irons in the fire.

  318. BJS said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:02

    “Or was it Gary?”

    It would make sense he would start with the Hollywood liberal fascist elite. But Heath Ledger? I figured Tim Robbins or George Clooney would be first…

  319. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:04

    Tarpon Springs, Florida

    My spouse proposed marriage to me in Tarpon Springs.

  320. stryx said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:06

    Hey, that reminds me.

    Davy and the Son of Goliath

    “It’s time to cleanse the city, Gary.”

  321. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:06

    Wow. Ledger was only 27 years old.

  322. (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:11

    Holy shit, Heath Ledger is really dead! Sorry, I can’t snark that one….fuck…..

    g–aww, that’s sweet! Where at? Just don’t live there. It’s still an EPA Superfund site. Everyone who grew up there practically has lost too many to cancer. My Dad 4 years ago of a rare brain tumor, 5 years after his best High School friend. Weird, eh?

    But proposals there are great. Go Spongers (yeah, that really is the high school mascot)! Tampa is more fun to conquer. Hahaha.

    Fuck, not Heath Ledger!

  323. DirtyFuckingHippie said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:16

    This post has been up top for so long I’m beginning to think the SadlyNo boys have been abducted and rendered to a country of undetermined locale.

    I hope the boys only give the bastards their names, rank and serial numbers.

  324. ¡El Gato Negro! said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:22

    Noted propagandist (and soi-dissant “scholar” of that liberal thinktank The AEI) David Frum ees given a soapbox by some Irving Kristol sponsored rag called “The National Interest” from wheech to dole out tiny, sniffy, smug jabs at his blogospheric betters.

    Hilarity, and much ignoring of recent history, ensue.

    Someone, por favor, rrrip thees one a new culo. I am away from the gato-cave today, and have no time for the deep fisking that thees piece so richly deserves.

    so.

  325. t4toby said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:56

    I think Gary did go a bit over the line. Could we like put him on time out, or could a master comment thread be employed? Like, so we don’t actually ban him, but all of his comment are turned into Benito Mussolini quotes, ala the Office?

  326. t4toby said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:57

    Master comment thread filter, that is.

  327. t4toby said,

    January 23, 2008 at 0:58

    My first day to take rings (Glory Rings) into worship up to the fourth floor “box”, which was designated for radical worship. There were two men worshipping….

    That is only the second line of that worship hammer thing. Can you count the double entandres?

  328. Lawnguylander said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:05

    They’re going through the seven stages of grief in the wrong order over at Redstate. This morning someone named Josh Painter was at stage 3, bargaining. He must have thought if he planted a wet enough kiss on Fred’s ass he might be persuaded to stay in the race. The post laments that after the loss of Tancredo, Brownback and Hunter, Fred’s the only true conservative left and attempts to make the sale with this closing paragraph:

    Please, sir, do not withdraw. Like Gen. Washington, choose your battles carefully. Your toops remain in good spirits and committed to your candidacy. We realize that family matters are your greatest priority, and we are praying for your mother, you and your family. We will, of course, support whatever decision you make. We cannot bleme you if you want to retire to the good life surrounded by the family you love so much. But please be advised that more than just a few of us plan to write in your name on any ballot we are given which doesn’t have it printed there. We just want to let you know that in the race for the White House, you are our only hope.

    His troops, heh.

    But now they’re in stage 2, denial:

    I intend to show up on February 5th at my local polling location and cast my vote for Fred Thompson.

    Fredheads, what about the rest of you?

    A poll follows. You know what to do.

  329. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:06

    Rise, Great Stapler, to unite us all in harmony!

  330. t4toby said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:07

    Fredheads.

    ROTFLMAO LOLzers !!!!1!

    Do they wear wrinkly caps?

  331. Jennifer said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:11

    This thread has that….not-so-fresh feeling.

  332. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:12

    Hi, Lex. My spouse grew up in Tampa. Went to Chamberlain.

    We always go over to Tarpon when we visit. The bar he proposed to me in is gone, but there’s a little family-style restaurant we always go eat at, it’s so little I forget the name, but it’s good. Has those little fried fishes – mMMM!

    We’re barbarians, we love retsina.

    Fredheads.

    ROTFLMAO LOLzers !!!!1!

    Do they wear wrinkly caps?

    And Depends.

  333. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:16

    A poll follows. You know what to do.

    Well if I push this button here with this dealie and ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT

  334. t4toby said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:17

    That is awesome, RB. It reminds me of something vaguely Hitchikers Guide-ish.

  335. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:18

    Awesome building!

  336. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:37

    A song for this thread.

  337. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:38

    AHEM!

    A song for this thread.

    Forgot the stinking =

  338. t4toby said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:43

    Forgot the stinking =

    How can you expect to remember anything that stinks over the smell of the rotten corpse of this thread?

  339. les said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:46

    Fred’s gone??? I kinda hoped if it had to be a thug, it’d be him. He’s too close to dead to do much damage, and I wondered if they could find a White House tailor/seamstress capable of playing Hide the Boobs for formal affairs.

  340. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:49

    [pokes head in door, looks around expectantly]

    Nope.

    [sighs, goes back to work]

  341. Patkin said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:59

    I’m also from Tarpon (though I’m just another white suburbanite, no Greek in me.) No cancer though! Go me.

  342. mikey said,

    January 23, 2008 at 2:05

    [mikey feels sorry for Smiling Mortician]

    Here, Mort, you wanna play with the big stapler for a while?

    mikey

  343. moondancer said,

    January 23, 2008 at 2:14

    Patkin @1:59

    I’m from down the coast a bit(Madiera Beach). Been gone from there for years but have fond memories of calamara and ice cold beer.

  344. Bastion Booger said,

    January 23, 2008 at 2:20

    The truth is, Fred Thompson was the only true Conservative left in the race, I for one lament his departure. I now support Mitt Romney for President since to me he seems to be the most Conservative candidate left in the race. Good look Fred, and may God bless you!

  345. mikey said,

    January 23, 2008 at 2:29

    Umm, why does the booger think we care who it supports?

    (Sorry, no greasemonkey on this ‘puter)

    mikey

  346. Helena Handbag said,

    January 23, 2008 at 2:35

    I’m still stuck trying to figure out why Pedestrian’s co-workers (at 21:38) might think he has turrets. Is that a castle in your pocket, or are you just happy to see them?

  347. mikey said,

    January 23, 2008 at 2:36

    I just assumed he had a lot of trouble with enemy fighter planes…

    mikey

  348. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 2:40

    How about the basket building

  349. Bastion Booger said,

    January 23, 2008 at 2:44

    The truth is, if Hitlery KKKlinton becomes the demonratic nominee she is going to lose by a landslide because nobody likes her not even her fellow demonrats. She will lose the entire South, Midwest and most Western States. Mitt Romney is just the man to rally the Conservative movement and lead us to victory in november.

  350. Susan of Texas said,

    January 23, 2008 at 2:53

    I’ve got it–booger is really Kathryn Jean Lopez.

  351. Jennifer said,

    January 23, 2008 at 2:56

    g – don’t make us crank up the ol’ “duck vs. decorated shed” architecture debate.

    Besides, I can kick all your asses in the duck department anyway, with this, which is not only a quintessential duck but may also be the only (surviving, anyway) example of racist roadside architecture.

  352. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:03

    How can you expect to remember anything that stinks over the smell of the rotten corpse of this thread?

    I know, someone must have embalmed this bad boy with Worcestershire sauce because IT. WILL. NOT. DIE.

  353. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:05

    g – don’t make us crank up the ol’ “duck vs. decorated shed” architecture debate.

    I’m not familiar with this. But do enlighten us! If they won’t start another thread, at least we can have another scholarly discussion of American vernacular architecture.
    Wow. Aunt Jemima. Yikes. [runs to go find a photo of the Java Jive restaurant in Tacoma]

    How about the Clam Box?

  354. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:07

    Hat & Boots?

  355. Snorghagen said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:13

    I drag myself home after a long, hard day at work and I find that the noble Fred Thompson has dropped out of the race. What will become of America?

    And why the hell is this zombie-like thread still lurching on?

  356. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:15

    Because work is even more boring.

  357. Bastion Booger said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:20

    Thanks Susan, I really enjoyed that article about Mitt Romney. It seems he is going to win the Christian vote which I hope he does as he is considerably more Conservative than Mike Huckabee. I just loved his impassioned defense of the family and traditional marriage. A federal ban on gay marriage is one of the most important pieces of legislation that needs to be enacted. And as for all those gay anti-Romney protestors all I have to say is shameful! That is one of the reasons that I dislike liberals, they are rude, disrespectful and ignorant.

  358. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:24

    I believe the gods that create Sadly, No! posts have become angered with mere common taters such as ourselves.

    I propose a sacrificial offering. Booger, you’re it.

  359. Jennifer said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:24

    Here’s the best summary of duck vs. decorated shed that I can find.

    As for the Clam Box, I suppose we should just be grateful that it wasn’t the Hairy Taco.

  360. billy pilgrim said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:25

    The projection around here keeps me from seeing anything.

  361. mikey said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:29

    This thread is kind of “The Saw” of the intert00bz.

    We’re all locked in here with a booger and forced to form alliances and try to survive.

    It’s an evil social experiment. Fortunately, I’m a sociopath….

    mikey

  362. Jennifer said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:30

    And why the hell is this zombie-like thread still lurching on?

    Because WWZD? (What Would a Zombie Do? Other than lurch on, that is.)

  363. BJS said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:31

    http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/TXHOUbeer.html

    The Beer Can House. The number of beers required to make this house were consumed with great care and arranged in great detail.

  364. BJS said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:34

    Forget zombies, have you ever asked What Would Journey Do?

    http://holyshrineofjourney.com/wwjd.html

  365. Jennifer said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:38

    I’ll see your Beer Can House, and raise you a Rev. Howard Finster’s Paradise Garden.

  366. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:41

    “John thought beer cured everything,” explained Mary, his wife, after John had died.

    That is so touching.

  367. BJS said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:41

    That’s awesome – a bit like Parc Guell in Barcelona. All those freaky Gaudi works…

  368. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:43

    Oh, I’ve seen a lecture on Howard Finster. He’s too much! Great stuff! I like his bottle trees.

    Hav eyou ever seen the Walker Rock Garden?

  369. Jennifer said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:43

    BJS – thank you for that link!

  370. mikey said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:44

    What Would Journey Do?

    Ooh. Ooooh. I can answer that.

    One night in Teds in San Anselmo in the early eighties I was hitting on this hot babe, and making real progress on the ground, if you know what I mean, and I think y’do, and Neal Schon parked his porsche outside, came in with a gallon sack of cocaine and started hitting on the same babe. Well, I was pretty much gonna lose that round, so I figured there oughta be some cost involved (neal is not a physically imposing presence) so I commenced to pick a fight with him. The hot babe was pissed ’cause I was interfering with her rock star moment, but at that point I just wanted to beat Neal Schon senseless (hey, I like his music, I didn’t wanna KILL him or anything). So it was getting close to turning violent, me standing between Neal and the door, lots of yelling and pushing, when who walks in but Steve Perry, nose and all.

    He is eloquent, pleasant, calm. He takes Neal aside and sits him down. He buys me a beer, puts me at a table and speaks calmly and understandingly. He totally defuses the situation, he turns me into a total puppydog, he gets Neal to shut the hell up, then he leaves with the hot babe.

    What would Journey do?

    Sure…

    mikey

  371. Jennifer said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:44

    I thought about doing my own backyard attraction, but in my case, I was just going to stop mowing and call it “Snake World”.

  372. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:48

    I went to see an art installation this weekend. The show was called “Bees and Meat” and featured this stunning piece of work: Honey Fountain

    It’s a rotting lamb carcass suspended over a pan of honey, which circulates in a fountain that slowly drips honey over the carcass, where it collects and coagulates. It has to be seen smelled to be believed.

  373. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:52

    Hey! Strikeout worked in preview!

  374. Bastion Booger said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:57

    The truth is, liberals are a bunch of weak soft pussyfags who couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag!

  375. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:57

    Hey! Strikeout worked in preview!

    [s] and [strike] both work in preview, g.

    Only [strike] works for real.

  376. tigrismus said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:01

    Trolls are real brave online.

  377. Snorghagen said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:11

    Forget zombies, have you ever asked What Would Journey Do?

    In these dark, Fred Thompsonless days it is comforting to know that the wheel in the sky keeps turning.

    I’ve never tried strikeout. This is only a test.

  378. BJS said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:11

    This thread is like when Kramer test drives the car and he convinces the salesman to continue driving to push the limits of the gas tank.

  379. Bastion Booger said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:16

    Hey liberals, I am eating a big bag of cheetos right now while I am fantasising about my ulra-masculine, hairy chested muscular gun owning self. I truly am the epitomy of Rightwing masculinity.

  380. BJS said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:19

    Re: Booger’s last post.

    This really is just like Saw!

    I think Gavin is Jigsaw.

  381. Bastion Booger said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:22

    I have my head shaved down to the skin, a hair covered muscular chest, a hard muscular body and tattoos covering both of my arms. I truly am a masculine specimen.

  382. Anne Laurie said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:26

    The thing about the big stapler is you need the big staple remover.

    … aka “pliers”. Whenever the bastien/saul trollbot shows up, I find myself thinking about pliers, for some reason.

    The stapler I still covet is the professional heavy-duty saddle-staple model from the Moo U print shop, which could produce 100-sheet center-stapled pamphlets. Just something about a stapler the size of a card table with a walking arm…

    And Lex Tyree, until you told us about the Spongers, I thought the local high school had the most unromantic possible names — the Tanners. The girls’ teams are, of course, the Lady Tanners. And no, soft SoCal Sadlynauts, we are not talking about passive solar collection; this city was founded as a tannery site, rich in pigs and oak trees (for tannin) and far enough from the Big City that nobody minded the presence of pigs and tannin pits.

  383. Tim (the other one) said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:28

    OMG this place is broken !!!!

  384. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:30

    The girls’ teams are, of course, the Lady Tanners.

    So you’re talking making the maximum economic use of mule carcasses, for instance?

  385. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:30

    Booger, you’re it.

    That’s my new Sentence of the Week. I shall be saying it until Saturday.

    Fortunately, I’m a sociopath….

    Hey! Me too! Um, are you using that stapler?

  386. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:32

    I thought the local high school had the most unromantic possible names — the Tanners.

    Here in my corner of the world, we have two colleges with team names that defy, well, pretty much everything: the Chokers and the Smelt.

    Ha! Top that!

  387. mikey smells like shit said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:35

    Very interesting dicussion you commie libs got going here. Maybe we should change the name of this site to Sadly, Blows?

  388. Felix Moronia said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:38

    What do you imagine the girls team is called at Beaver H.S. in Beaver, Utah?

  389. Hoosier X said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:38

    Why do conservatives hate veterans so much?

    It makes me sick.

  390. El Cid said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:39

    I have huge, trunk-like arms perfect for hefting the fortunate sword Tizón, and long, strong legs, the better to ride into battle on the loyal Babieca. On my back I can carry two of my injured faithful men out of battle. Dressed in my full armor I stand 7’2″ and have thrown large boulders through locked doors. I have appeared in films, illustrated picture books, and a recent computer animated movie in Europe. I also like sunsets and walks on the beach.

  391. J— said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:40

    Hollister Haybalers

  392. mikey is not a vietnam veteran said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:44

    You liberals have no idea about the way the real world works, that is why you are liberals. Go out and get a damn job instead of smoking pot!

  393. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:45

    OK, I see your point with the Haybalers. But c’mon, Chokers? Smelt? And don’t even get me started on the Geoducks (that is, of course, “gooeyducks” to the uninitiated).

  394. Jennifer said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:46

    I have my head shaved down to the skin, a hair covered muscular chest, a hard muscular body and tattoos covering both of my arms. I truly am a masculine specimen.

    You’re getting ready to start talking about gladiator movies, aren’t you.

  395. mikey is not a vietnam veteran said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:47

    Bastion Booger is right, Mitt Romney is gonna crush all opposition in november!

    HILLDOG IS TOAST!

  396. tigrismus said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:47

    If you’ve finished your homework, you sniveling wart, go ask your mom if she has any chores she thinks you’re capable of doing.

  397. Jennifer said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:48

    Go out and get a damn job instead of smoking pot!

    Only silly, unimaginative types such as yourself fail to see how one can do both.

  398. Snorghagen said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:50

    The thing about the big stapler is you need the big staple remover.

    If you really want to get serious about staplers, you need to get one of those steam-powered hydraulic models, made from recycled Soviet earth-moving machinery. Here’s the staple remover that goes with it.

  399. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:50

    OK, I see your point with the Haybalers. But c’mon, Chokers? Smelt? And don’t even get me started on the Geoducks (that is, of course, “gooeyducks” to the uninitiated).

    A clam by any other name would smell as sweet…

  400. Jennifer said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:53

    OK, I see your point with the Haybalers. But c’mon, Chokers? Smelt? And don’t even get me started on the Geoducks (that is, of course, “gooeyducks” to the uninitiated).

    I can just picture the Geoduck insignia.

    Why not just call the team “the Mighty Fighting Cocks” or “the Dicks”?

  401. mikey is not a vietnam veteran said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:53

    If the thunder don’t get ya the lightning will! Bwahahahahaha!!!

  402. Dagoril said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:55

    Ok, this thread is veritably cadavarous. We need something serious infused here. I humbly present you all with this:

    http://salamitsunami.com/archives/91

  403. J— said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:55

    Watersmeet Nimrods

  404. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:57

    Time for dirty John McCain limericks with a Google-bomb twist.

    http://whiskeyfire.typepad.com/whiskey_fire/2008/01/the-finest-joke.html

    The campaign workers’ guts growl with gas
    As they dread what may yet come to pass.
    The handler’s pain:
    To prevent John McCain
    From felching his running-mate’s ass.

  405. Citadel Smegma said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:57

    Fozzetti:

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

    Now THAT’s entertainment! Seeing as how she’s allegedly right here in Portland (no, the good one) I’ll jess hafta look up herself.

  406. mikey said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:03

    Damn. I was disappointed to discover that mikeyisafraud.org. doesn’t actually exist.

    C’mon, fuckheads, spend five bucks on a domain, fer crissakes.

    You can’t be THAT cheap, can you?

    mikey

  407. The Return of The Attack of The Thread from the Black Lagoon that Time Forgot said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:10

    Braaaaaaaaains! Braaaains!

  408. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:13

    Mikey, it’s just booger, etc. trying to get attention.

    It deserves to be banned. I’d say it deserves to be sent to Iraq, but that would be unfair to the Iraqis.

  409. Not that Louis said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:24

    Hey, whatever happened to that Anti-Sadly No blog Saulboogerruppert was going to start?

  410. DirtyFuckingHippie said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:32

    This thread smells like cauliflower gone bad.

    FUCK!!!!!!11!!!one1!!!!!!

  411. DirtyFuckingHippie said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:34

    mikey is not a vietnam veteran said,
    January 23, 2008 at 4:44

    You liberals have no idea about the way the real world works, that is why you are liberals. Go out and get a damn job instead of smoking pot!

    Hey, that reminds me…………………………………..

  412. The Return of The Attack of The Thread from the Black Lagoon that Time Forgot said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:34

    Delicioussss braaaaiins!

  413. The Son of the Return of the Attack of the Thread from the Black Lagoon that Time Forgot said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:36

    Cringe before the horror of limitless tedium, puny humans!

  414. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:36

    Speaking of cauliflower, they were on sale today.

    Delicious for dips, but also spicy stir fry.

  415. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:37

    This thread smells like cauliflower gone bad.

    Ahh, shit. You see? You see what happens when a thread goes bad? We turn once again to fucking vegetables!

    Um. I was thinking of “fucking” as an adjective, not a verb, but y’know . . . this thread’s been moribund for a very long time.

  416. bob the hog said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:38

    I humbly present you all with this:

    Thanks.
    Here’s a truly masculine specimen.

  417. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:48

    In Russia, vegetable fucks with you!

  418. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:49

    Once Maverick McCain went to war
    but he’s now a political whore.
    Watch him scramble for votes
    by fondling the scrotes
    of hawks who kill kids — fuck the poor.

  419. Snorghagen said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:49

    Smiling Mortician wrote:

    …this thread’s been moribund for a very long time.

    You’re a mortician. Can’t you bury the damn thing? Cremate it? Dump it in a vat of acid?

  420. mikey said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:52

    That’s IT.

    I’m getting even with you fuckers who won’t kill this sad creature.

    I’m taking off my pants!!

    mikey

  421. tigrismus said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:54

    Here’s a truly masculine specimen.

    Dear God, my eyes, MY EYES! Aieeee!

    You’re a mortician.

    Ah, but is he still smiling? The word “rictus” springs to mind…

  422. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:58

    I’m taking off my pants!!

    Again?

    The word “rictus” springs to mind…

    OK but I don’t think I should have those two images in my head at the same time.

  423. the_millionaire_lebowski said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:01

    That’s it. I’m going to shit up this thread until we get a new one.

  424. the_millionaire_lebowski said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:03

    waka waka waka waka

    aaaaaaaaaaaWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGaaaahhh!!!!

  425. The Return of The Attack of The Thread from the Black Lagoon that Time Forgot said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:08

    Braaaaaains! Must have braaai – uh?

    I’m taking off my pants!!

    Heeeeeeaaaaaad! Heeaaaaaaad!!

  426. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:12

    I’m going to shit up this thread

    Huh. Is that anything like pissing up a rope?

  427. stryx said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:12

    I’m just gonna start remixing Mr. Len’s original post at random.

    Ha ha! Yeah, of course! But hey, who cares? The legacy of slavery is actually an icon of conservativism. in a unified world If it made even the slightest bit of difference approvingly quoting.

    all over the country get together everyone behaved

    interested in nonsense, you know what that means…

    move on to Big Boy Jammies!

  428. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:13

    Jeebus, bob the hog, that looks like Spinal Tap.

    I can’t believe I left work, got stuck in a traffic jam, pulled off the road for a glass of red wine and a plate of spaghetti, and by the time I got home you guys are still here. WITHOUT a new THREAD!!!!!!

    I demand to see the proprietors!

  429. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:15

    It’s time to break out the Fremont Troll

  430. The Return of The Attack of The Thread from the Black Lagoon that Time Forgot said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:16

    I can’t believe I left work, got stuck in a traffic jam, pulled off the road for a glass of red wine and a plate of spaghetti

    Mmmmm! Spaghetti looks like braaaaaaains!

  431. Candy said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:17

    Smiling Mortician said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:49

    Once Maverick McCain went to war
    but he’s now a political whore.
    Watch him scramble for votes
    by fondling the scrotes
    of hawks who kill kids — fuck the poor.

    Smiling Mortician, please know that I would love to have your children*, so as to propagate your splendid, oh-so-premium DNA. You are the king!

    *Hyperbolically speaking.

  432. Heath Ledger said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:17

    This thread fucking killed me!

  433. stryx said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:21

    That was often even the fact another iteration, a nice bit of demagoguery. sway us, sway us, sway us. But hey, who cares? He was not interested that a man was not even independent. Anyway, tell us that running for President forty years ago as a dangerous Communist insurrectionist , that’s for sure. yes,yes,yes, Ha ha! Yeah, of course!

  434. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:24

    Mister Leonard! Gavin! Somebody! Will no one think of the stryx?

  435. DirtyFuckingHippie said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:29

    I return an hour later, stoned to the bejesus belts, and what do I see? THIS STINKING FUCKING CAULIFLOWER SMELLIN’ DEAD ELVIS CORPSE MUMMIFYING FUCKING THREAD!!!!!!!11one!!1.

    THAT’S IT! I’m cleaning out my fridge!

    Someone let me know when the funny begins again.

  436. stryx said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:33

    One might even point out he was only interested in jail. his claims that a man, actually an icon of conservativism, alive today, that’s for sure. apparently a unified world puts up another iteration as crazy as Big Boy Jammies.

    sway us! sway us! he would certainly tell us that the government would not just look in America! that’s for sure!

  437. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:36

    OK seriously. I’m about this far from finding the Heath Ledger joke funny. Is that what you want?

  438. El Cid said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:39

    That is Martin Luther King day, even the what is known: It is, the race superiority complex is not problem another, and today when MLK lives, as for him certainly countenance thing the conservatism person in the country gathers in us and/or and the fact that you inform how it is handled the black who has expressed in unfairness is day. Calling you obtained, oh color blindness you were prominent completely high concerning some MLK! It was, just there was an interest in the world where he everyone made the people of the white entirely and was standardized. He in spite even in that many public declaration like discrimination correction measure or return for being subordinate did not have interest in the nonsense, in the opposite direction; That him concerning that the fact that you wrote the entire book it supported with economic compensating insane anything, should not shake us in thinking whether King teacher in addition to legal equality race allotment.

  439. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:39

    Leonard Pierce said,

    January 22, 2008 at 21:14

    Man, you guys really need something to do, don’t you?

    Talk about the violence inherit in the system, people. When will we at last rise up and throw off the yoke of no-post-sadly-no-fascism?

  440. Snorghagen said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:39

    In this time of tribulation, of decaying threads, of strange and disjointed posts, perhaps we all need an inspirational message from Grover Cleveland, transmitted from the mystic spiritual world of beyond.

  441. stryx said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:49

    yes, nonsense like that called for a revolutionary change in a President. The definitive column had been running in the way was being denounced. economic compensation! people in America! a nice bit of demagoguery still illegal in 22 states.

    All of which would be highly relevant if Big Boy Jammies puts up another iteration a dangerous Communist insurrectionist appropriately-named Hitch.

    Lord, how far! this lifelong jail. shameful.

  442. El Cid said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:50

    Or perhaps we need an inspirational quote from Grover:

    “Yes it is I, your furry blue taxi driver. What can I do for you, sir?”

  443. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:51

    Kee-rist!!!! I keep coming back here looking, desparately , for a new thread.

  444. Felix Moronia said,

    January 23, 2008 at 6:58

    g-the fremont Troll is truly enlightened. maybe he should be elevated to the position of Sadly,No house troll. surely his pronoucements can’t be any dumber than the current crop!

  445. stryx said,

    January 23, 2008 at 7:05

    Treated the problem by striking. Denounced dangerous demagoguery. Decide! In fact, dangerous Communist insurrectionist is actually an icon of conservativism and therefore exactly like white people. that’s for sure. But hey, who cares? I have only the color of their skin thus part of the legacy.

    Thus, presto-change-o, people talking about a dangerous Communist insurrectionist is actually an icon of conservativism.

    entire childhood and teenage years in the very definition of nonsense crazy nonsense. a unified world, sway us sway us !

  446. Felix Moronia said,

    January 23, 2008 at 7:06

    If the owners ever return maybe we, as a collective of liberal fascists should demand that the S,N hamster tenders rig up a troll detour: every time the one with three names posts a comment the Fremont Troll photo appears automaticallly.

  447. sxwarren said,

    January 23, 2008 at 7:08

    Speaking of furry, blue things, this place is starting to smell like that dish that’s been at the back of the fridge for longer than I can remember.

    There’s got to be some newly-shat mockable out there somewhere, right?

  448. Felix Moronia said,

    January 23, 2008 at 7:12

    Have the owners become absentee slumlords?

  449. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 23, 2008 at 7:17

    The campaign worker looked up in shock
    What the hell was that ungodly squawk?
    “John McCain,” said her boss,
    “Has salad to toss
    Before he sucks lobbyist cock.”

  450. g said,

    January 23, 2008 at 7:33

    Damn, Bubba. That does it for me. I’m off to search the intertoobz for stories about Britney Spears.

  451. The Return of The Attack of The Thread yadda yadda yadda said,

    January 23, 2008 at 7:35

    A few seconds of pointless worry:

    Wasn’t there a big fire in Boston yesterday (?)

    Isn’t one of our kind hosts from up there? I hope everyone is all right.

    OK, I’m done.

    Braaaaaaains!

    Ah, fuckit. I just read RB’s limerick and two fighter jets just blew a few tiles off the roof. Going to bed to chuckle until I dream a fighter jet piloted by John McCain dropped a new thread in here.

  452. billy pilgrim said,

    January 23, 2008 at 7:35

    I think the problem here is that mikey DIDN”T beat the snot out of Neal Schon.

    If mikey goes out there RIGHT NOW, pants or no, and locates that shreddin doofus, kicks his ass for a while, things should get back to what passes for normal round here.

  453. bob the hog said,

    January 23, 2008 at 7:35

    Jeebus, bob the hog, that looks like Spinal Tap.

    Are you suggesting that ManOwar is a parody band? Eric Adams is gonna kick your ass!!!
    (NSFW if the F word is a problem).

  454. stryx said,

    January 23, 2008 at 7:38

    September 29th, 2005

    The Fascist Prequel Show.

    Only on SadlyTV.

  455. bob the hog said,

    January 23, 2008 at 7:51

    Jeebus, bob the hog, that looks like Spinal Tap.

    Are you suggesting that ManOwar is a parody band?
    Eric Adams is gonna kick your ass.
    (NSFW if the F word is a problem).

  456. Legalize said,

    January 23, 2008 at 8:08

    I’m about to proffer a positive review of Pantload’s book at Amazon ….

  457. Anne Laurie said,

    January 23, 2008 at 8:15

    What do you imagine the girls team is called at Beaver H.S. in Beaver, Utah?

    Traverse City, Michigan, calls itself the Cherry Capital of the World. They have a Cherry Parade every July, and one of the local high school girls is elected “Cherry Queen”…

  458. News from Rob » The Transcendent Racial Politics of the Wall Street Journal said,

    January 23, 2008 at 11:08

    [...] Sadly, No!, a Christopher Hitchens commentary from a few days ago that I had missed, possibly because it was [...]

  459. zuzu said,

    January 23, 2008 at 11:23

    Wait a minute.

    He’s an American of African descent.

    Doesn’t that make him an African-American?

  460. (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,

    January 23, 2008 at 21:31

    Those are pretty bad. I went to 3 high schools, so I got to be a (fuck, what was Palmetto? Who cares), a something else that I must have ignored, and then a Tiger.

    But no, Dad was the d00d on the team that people talk about all the time in that game where the guys just crash all over each other and then have a commercial. Quarterback. That’s what he was. For the Spongers. True story. Especially the part about how little I know about football.

  461. AMERICAN NONSENSE » The Transcendent Racial Politics of the Wall Street Journal said,

    January 24, 2008 at 3:53

    [...] Sadly, No!, a Christopher Hitchens commentary from a few days ago that I had missed, possibly because it was [...]

  462. BlueHerald 2.0 - News You Can Abuse! said,

    January 25, 2008 at 11:23

    [...] a conservative. Think I’m kidding? Check out this year’s assessment of such rhetoric by Mister Leonard Pierce of Sadly, No! Meanwhile, Rick Perlstein provides some welcome historical perspective on past [...]

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