Moons Over My Pammy

Somebody needs to say something about a certain slow-motion trainwreck taking place over at (ahem ahem), but after my somewhat overheated Powerline post below, I’m out of neologisms and odd visual metaphors.

I will say, however, that KERNERS ARE GO!!!

ATLAS EXCLUSIVE: FINAL REPORT ON OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE FORGERY CHANGE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN

Techdude delivers a final report that exceeds my wildest expectations. It is irrefutable, empirical evidence – Obama’s birth certificate is a forgery. Why? Why a COLB (certificate of live birth) forgery? That is the question.

My deepest thanks and appreciation for Techdude’s unwavering commitment to the truth despite the threats and harassment, the slashed tires and the dead animal on his porch.

Insofar as “techdude’s” credentials, he is an active member of the Association of Certified Fraud Examiners, American College of Forensic Examiners, The International Society of Forensic Computer Examiners, International Information Systems Forensics Association – the list goes on. He also a board certified as a forensic computer examiner, a certificated legal investigator, and a licensed private investigator. He has been performing computer based forensic investigations since 1993 (although back then it did not even have a formal name yet) and he has performed countless investigations since then.

Here is his analysis:

It must be calculated that the odds of this being a gobsmackingly epic fail, with scandal, squabbling, and recriminations echoing into the distance, exceed one million percent.

Obama’s Birth Certificate – CHANGE you can believe in.

I have decided to leave out the low level technicalities and the how-to section of this report due to a lack of time and more importantly I want to get the facts out as quickly as possible. As some of you may or may not know some asshat decided to track me down and vandalize my car and hang a dead mutilated rabbit from my front door in a lame attempt to intimidate me from proceeding with releasing any details of my analysis. They did succeed in delaying the report by a few days but instead of deterring me they just really pissed me off. To their credit, if I had not taken a few days off from the analysis I would have missed the most damning piece of evidence – the remnants of the previous security border. So to the demented retard who slaughtered an animal to make a point – f*ck you and thank you. And because of the amazing number of violent psychopaths who seem to be drawn to this issue, I am not going to use or supply any details that can be used to identify the owners of the COLBS used in the analysis except for those which have already been publicly disclosed. If the owners want to come forward on their own that is entirely their decision. Now let’s get to the summarized report.

Next up on the Art Bell Show, a former MK-ULTRA assassin and Navy SEAL takes his life in his hands and blows the lid off a top-secret Bilderberg Group plan to kidnap Lyndon LaRouche.


Update: Odds rise to nearly two million percent.

 

Comments: 180

 
 
 

Obama’s birth certificate is a forgery. Why? Why a COLB (certificate of live birth) forgery?

Egads! He must be a zombie!

 
 

My deepest thanks and appreciation for Techdude’s unwavering commitment to the truth despite the threats and harassment, the slashed tires and the dead animal on his porch.

Satirize THAT sentence, you lie-berals.

 
monkey knife fight
 

What is the right’s fascination with acronyms? “COLB?” Really? Just call it a birth certificate already. Sheesh. You’re not a cop or a CENTCOM officer.

 
 

So… if he was really born dead, can I have his Social Security number? You never know when a second ID might come in handy.

 
 

Birth certificates are a waste of time for his staff of forgers, even for practice. Foreign bills and artwork are where it’s at.

 
 

I’m still trying to understand what’s motivating this stupidity. I know, I know, I might as well try and understand why Ed Gein liked to save people’s skin, but there’s just got to be a rationale for it. What is the perceived endgame?

 
 

IT GET’S EVEN BETTER!

DON’T WORRY PAMMYKINS IS HOT ON THE TRAIL!

sigh

Of course, if you believe what techdude says, why not use your formidable legal acumen and file a suit in federal court challenging Obama’s candidacy?

I am doing this very thing, working with a prosecutor/reader as we speak. And I am one person. I do not have a staff or research team. The NY Times, The Wall Street Journal should be doing these things but no. It is left to regular folks like me that desperately care about what is going on in this country to do the investigation(s), the footwork, the research etc.

Criticize all you like. I am unfazed.

I intend to get to the bottom of it. You see no red flags here? Ok, you’ve expressed you opinion, now get out of the way so that I (we) can get to the bottom of it.

As for “reasonable suspicion” it is my understanding that it is used by a prosecutor to issue a search warrant for seize and search for direct evidence which would be available on let’s say a computer used to create the image. In forensics it is called Locard’s exchange principle. Every time an object or person (in this case an image) comes into contact with another object or person (in this case a computer) they leave traces of each other behind. We know the image was created on a Mac with Photoshop so that would mean there is a Mac some place with Photoshop on it that has traces of the edited image on the system. Find that and you have your “beyond a reasonable doubt”.

Wanna help?

Posted by:Pamela Geller | Monday, July 21, 2008 at 08:35 PM

DOH!

Obama is doomed! Damn you meddling shruggers! And that meddling mutt!

Scooby dooby doooooooooo!

 
 

Sorry I didn’t block quote . . .

 
 

…there is a Mac some place with Photoshop on it that has traces of the edited image on the system.

These techdudes really have no idea how computers work, do they? It’s very much possible – and not all that hard – to remove all trace of things that were on a computer. Even Photoshop itself can be deleted! Wow.

 
 

…vandalize my car and hang a dead mutilated rabbit from my front door…

not just a rabbit.

not just a dead rabbit.

a dead mutilated rabbit.

as opposed to a live mutilated rabbit, I suppose.

The shadow of the ghost of Phillip K. Dick lays heavily on this one.

 
 

I don’t get the whole dead rabbit, fucked up car thing. Pam seems to be careful of his identity. This guy implies there’s a direct link between his shocking expose and the DRFUC thing.

I’m not saying he made the whole thing up, but people who investigate fraud for a living tend to have a lot of people who really don’t like them.

 
 

But Pammy has hired a prosecutor!

Bat . . . Shit . . . .Crazy!

 
 

Damn. It would be a train wreck, but it’s too boring and insignificant for that.

Is there a word for when a gnat flies down your throat?

It’s unpleasant and annoying, but ultimately you move on and, oh yeah, you shit the dead gnat.

Meanwhile, Radovan Karadži? is in custody, en route to The Hague, cushy life in serbian palaces at an end.

Sharon and Kissinger didn’t couldn’t be reached for comment…

mikey

 
 

Every time an object or person (in this case an image) comes into contact with another object or person (in this case a computer) they leave traces of each other behind.

This is like CSI LasVegas/NYC/Miami 101.

Next up: Pammy hires Horatio Caruso.

 
 

These techdudes really have no idea how computers work, do they? It’s very much possible – and not all that hard – to remove all trace of things that were on a computer. Even Photoshop itself can be deleted! Wow.

But Macdude can reconstruct the missing pieces!

 
 

But Macdude can reconstruct the missing pieces!

Damn! I keep underestimating Macdude. He is too clever for us naughty people.

 
Our Dead Selves
 

This gets my vote for Most Retarded Controversy EVAR.

 
 

The best part of this “detailed” analysis is down in the summary where you get this nugget:

“During the course of my analysis several calls were made to various departments in the Hawaiian State Government in an attempt to better understand the process and procedures used to create, print, and distribute copies of the COLB form. While I was brushed off or hung up upon by almost all of the people I contacted I did manage to talk with a computer technician who was familiar with the computers and printers used by the Department of Health and the clerk’s offices. He was unwilling to give any specific details but did provide enough information to work with.”

Hidden identities, “Brushed off”, “hung up on”, no “specific details”.

Sounds like an open-and-shut case to me!

 
 

Not just any zombie………a Madrassah-attending Mooslim zombie……

>.>

<.<

I am 100% positive that somewhere, a wingnut will take what I said seriously.

 
 

Ye Ole Perfesser wrote An Army of Davids. Who will write An Army of Dudes?

 
 

How many bunnies will die before Obama releases his REAL birth certificate??? This man has no conscience!

 
 

And we would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you damn kids..

(this just screams for a photoshop of Pammy and Scooby in the Mystery Mobile)

 
 

How delusional is this woman?

By the way, did you guys hear about some wingnut blogger attacking Mass Effect because it had “dirty evil alien sex” in it?

 
 

I’m tellin’ you, it’s got to be true!

I totally saw this one episode of CSI and like this guy had done this thing and they totally busted him ’cause they found this like parking lot camera from like a block away and facing the other way and the dudes with the CSI computers were able to like use the reflections on the windshields to totally zoom in on the license plate of the dude and totally bust him. It was awesome. At first the picture was all blurry but they have like this software that can completely fix that.

 
 

Thing One and Thing Two of beauty.

 
 

…did you guys hear about some wingnut blogger attacking Mass Effect because it had “dirty evil alien sex” in it?

Do tell!

I at least need to go over to their blog and comment “The word you’re looking for, dear boy, is rishathra.” He ought to know that – the man who coined it is a fellow wingnut, after all.

 
 

Kudos on the Denny’s menu item inspired title to this post, Gavin. Well done, sir!

 
 

here’s how to become a “certified fraud examiner”
http://www.acfe.com/membership/certification-process.asp (you pay 250 and take an open book test online, using the book they sell you)

the international Society of Forensic Computer examiners has pretty much the same stringent membership requirements, although apparently no physical address
http://www.isfce.com/aboutus.htm

I’m sure the other listed organizations a just as impressive. As Pam says, “the list goes on and on”

The credentials of that “computer forensics expert” are really laughable. I remember asking a secret service agent several years ago about a handwriting expert that apparently had very impressive credentials. In his opinion, they were worthless, since the organizations “certifying” the expert were mainly mail order charlatans. The “expert’s” conlusions were unreliable, and grossly overreaching.
The birth certificate guy looks pretty much the same on a close reading. He’s a “certificated (sic) legal investigator and licensed private investigator” I’ve never heard of a “certificated legal investigator” and it would be interesting to know what jurisdiction licensed him as a PI, and what qualifications he had to present. Also, what board certifies “forensic computer examiners”? These qualifications look like they came from the inside covers of matchbooks and comics, with ads for sea monkeys and decoder rings on the same page

Maybe Pam could provide a list of cases and courts which have received her “expert’s” testimony on the authenticity of documents. A man with his qualifications should have that list at hand since it is a required mandatory disclosure for any expert witness testifying in federal court. “Irrefutable, empirical evidence” indeed. The guy never had to leave his mom’s basement to acquire all those “credentials”

 
Our Dead Selves
 

By the way, did you guys hear about some wingnut blogger attacking Mass Effect because it had “dirty evil alien sex” in it?

Just one? That was totally like the “hot coffee” incident part 2. I think people were threatening to sue and whatnot. Ridiculous.

 
 

We know the image was created on a Mac with Photoshop so that would mean there is a Mac some place with Photoshop on it that has traces of the edited image on the system.

Fortunately, Macs are indestructable. Now all we have to do is inspect them. All of them.

 
 

Does anyone know where this birth certificate fixation started? They have worked themselves into a lather, “proved” (as if they ever had any doubt, and without publishing the “proof”) it to be fake… and now they’re left looking for a reason?? Surely the Editors must be behind this somehow.

 
 

Damn! I keep underestimating Macdude. He is too clever for us naughty people.

I believe you mean “misunderestimating”…

 
 

So you know what this means don’t you?
Somewhere out there is the REAL Barack Obama.

That’s right, Would be TERRORISTS knew the new born Barack would one day become PoTUS and they had to act FAST. In a desperate and evil bid to force humanity under the yolk of Sharia Law and Liberal Fascism, the Baby Barack was spirited away and Evil Baby Barry was put in his place. (Evil Baby Barry was 2″ taller, thus the forgery).
How do I know the Baby Barack is still alive? How else is the Evil Super Calphate keeping control of Evil Baby Barry?

hmmm?

 
 

The credentials of that “computer forensics expert” are really laughable.

Thanks for looking into this – I suspected as much, but am too lazy to go looking for the proof.

Isn’t it weird how much mystical power credentials and science and stuff like that have in the wingnut community – but only when they’re bogus?

 
 

Pammy, I got a Mac right here for ya. With Photoshop sitting idly by while I read your loony crap and listen to “The End” on iTunes.

So after techdude proves Obama is a Martian COLB ask him what the hell this means?

“And all the children are insane. All the children are insane, waiting for the summer rain.
There’s danger on the edge of town. Ride the kings highway.
Weird scenes inside the gold mine. Ride the highway west. Ride the snake.
Ride the snake to the lake. The ancient lake. The snake he’s long. Seven miles. Ride the snake. Hes old and his skin is cold.
The west is the best. The west is the best.”

Because I can’t figure it out. But then again, Im not loaded up on acid so Im probably not meant to figure it out. But you and techdude should do fine Im thinking.

 
Mike in Teh Heart...er Shoulderland
 

…My deepest thanks and appreciation for Techdude’s unwavering commitment to the truth despite the threats and harassment, the slashed tires and the dead animal on his porch…

or…… he an all-around a-hole ( with a vivid magination?) that “inspires” everyone he meets . How many ex-wives does this guy have?

If he knows the why of the liquidated lagomorph , the Mr. Supersleuth should be able to tell us the who. (If it actually happened.;)

Uh, …..Pammy,…..aren’t the children of citizens , also citizens? Soooooo….. if Obama’s not a citizen , then… Obama’s mother’s COB was faked too!!!! . Wow! That really is a scandal!

 
 

Would be TERRORISTS knew the new born Barack would one day become PoTUS and they had to act FAST.

And what’s even scarier is that these terrorists were able to tell – in 1961 – that this particular black kid was going to be president, when being black at all wasn’t even made legal in the U.S. until 1964.

 
 

He’s mailed the details to his girlfriend. But you wouldn’t know her, she lives in Canada.

 
 

Views: 45,618
watch in standard quality
watch in high quality

We have channeled Irony™ (long dead) and Irony™ is sick and tired of Pammycakes pissing on teh grave.

 
 

The next day, Saturday, 10 August 1991, Casolaro was found dead in the bathtub of his motel room. Naked, his wrists had been slashed open a dozen times. Local police officers were quick to arrive and with a cursory examination concluded suicide. His briefcase containing sheaf’s of documents relating to his story – which never left his side – was missing. Without notifying his family, Casolaro’s body was illegally embalmed, impeding subsequent autopsy. Prior to his death, Casolaro had warned his brother Tony, “If anything happens to me, don’t believe it was accidental.” Casolaro also gave the same message to special FBI agent Thomas Gates, who was investigating volatile Mafia figure and CIA insider, Robert Booth Nichols. Nichols was a source for Casolaro’s investigation of the “Octopus.”

 
 

There’s South Florida v-log from three months ago.

A few quotes from the video:

“Barack Hussein Obama. Terrorist in the White House. Hamas frontman. Ayers’ weatherman. Farrakhan’s hatchet boy. Rev. Wright’s pussy boy.”

“Fascism is a new thing. If anything, the fascists were inspired by Islamic anti-Semitism.”

“Condi Rice is a dhimmi.”

 
 

From the Pam Atlas piece above: Every time an object or person (in this case an image) comes into contact with another object or person (in this case a computer) they leave traces of each other behind..

Um, WHAT?

to edit within fair logical contraints, extracting the two statements within

“Every time an … image… comes into contact with … a computer… they leave traces of each other behind.” – is about the story.

“Every time a … person comes into contact with another … person … they leave traces of each other behind.”- is why we call her Atlas Juggs.

in either case, it’s just more of Pam’s fascination with and fundamental(ist) misunderstanding of the physical world around her, the Noumea in her head, and a very surprising position for someone who rails against the 13th century thinking of her perceived boogeymen.

 
 

Do authorities in hawaii issue digital birth certificate (presumably digitally signed)? If not, the file that this guy has “examined”, is quite obviously fake. In the sense that it is a worthless digital copy of a worthwile physical certificate. Surely some software was involved at some point to scan said document, discovering that is hardly surprising.

 
 

That was supposed to be noumenon, not Noumea (the capital city of New Caledonia).

Though it hardly detracts from my point.

 
 

Zoinks!

Like, I bet this extensive report is ignored by the media.

Not sure what this is an investigation of, but it sure sounds creepy and very, very Muslim.

 
 

Next up: Pammy hires Horatio Caruso.

Looks like another game of cat and mouse – only this time, it’s Darky and Mullah.

(YEAAAAAAH)

 
 

That was supposed to be noumenon

Doot-dooo dee-doo-doo…

 
Bitter Scribe, an an active member of the Association of Certified Fraud Examiners,
 

Wow! He managed to complete online applications and send membership fees to all those neat-o organizations? I hope he got a decoder ring and whistle.

 
 

I would like to confirm that there is absolutely no truth in the rumor that techdude uncovered the truth about the Hawaii Hussein just for a chance to get Shamala in the sack.

While I was brushed off or hung up upon by almost all of the people I contacted I did manage to talk with a computer technician who was familiar with the computers and printers used by the Department of Health and the clerk’s offices. He was unwilling to give any specific details but did provide enough information to work with.

1. Welcome to the wonderful world of public service agencies. Ya big whiny baby.
2. There’s a slight chance their hesitancy to help you stemmed from the suspicion that you were a crook who was trying to find out how to forge a birth certificate.
3. Surely there is a fellow CFE or other fraud investigator in Hawaii who could have helped you out, given you some pointers, told you who to call in the DoH’s offices.

 
 

mdh said,

July 22, 2008 at 4:48

That was supposed to be noumenon, not Noumea (the capital city of New Caledonia).

Though it hardly detracts from my point.

nope, sometime you get two unexpectedly.

 
Doctor Missus Marita
 

Every time an object or person (in this case an image) comes into contact with another object or person (in this case a computer) they leave traces of each other behind.

This means that Pammy is covered in some sort of oily film that rubs off on everything she touches, doesn’t it?

 
 

Oh my God, I really love this CSI: WINGNUTTIA idea. Who do we hire as the adorable retard chef-d’-affaires? You know, a sort of theoretical nega-Grissom whose unsuppressable smarm defeats the disgust he engenders even among his idiotic colleagues for his rank, jaw-dropping idiocy?

Think, guys: he’s also got to have a beard, ideally he’ll be kind of chubby, and ideally with a history of claiming an expert knowledge in things he lacks a high-school level grasp of. Weighty, weighty things, too – things responsible for a lot of death that his facile bumbling actually seems to worsen.

Who could we possibly use?

 
 

OMG! My mac has a Photoshop program and 2 Photoshop Elements programs! Plus “Painter”. And filters from “Alien Skin”. I must be the guilty one. where can I hide?

 
Calming Influence
 

By the by, if anyone here is interested in flaunting a membership in the Association Of Certified Fraud Examiners, just fork over $125 ($25 for students!) and your good to go: http://www.acfe.com/documents/MemberAp1.pdf

 
 

… and I found a dead mutilated baby squirrel at my BACK DOOR 2 days ago! (and there it stayed till husband got rid of it). I assumed my cat was the culprit, but I see now it was- um- Obama?

 
 

Pammy is covered in some sort of oily film

If that’s what you kids are calling it nowadays…..

 
 

This means that Pammy is covered in some sort of oily film that rubs off on everything she touches, doesn’t it?

Pamela’s racial identity consisting as it does primarily of acting out the most ridiculous and horrible stereotypes for the fetishistic gratification of Mengele’s spiritual heirs – I’m guessing it’s essence de con avec des soux americains.

 
 

Every time an object or person (in this case an image) comes into contact with another object or person (in this case a computer) they leave traces of each other behind..

I dunno, that sounds like a bunch of granola crunching New Agey bullshit to me. Have fun with your shakras, auras and tree hugging Pammy, because your DFH rituals are awakening SATAN!!!

 
 

Insofar as “techdude’s” credentials, he is an active member of the Association of Certified Fraud Examiners, American College of Forensic Examiners, The International Society of Forensic Computer Examiners, International Information Systems Forensics Association – the list goes on. He also a board certified as a forensic computer examiner, a certificated legal investigator, and a licensed private investigator.

He’s an active member of many permutations of [Geographic Area] [Affinity Group] [Profession], and he holds several nonspecific documents in the field of nonspecific document study. That just screams “legit”!

 
 

The only credential I care about: is he licensed to ill?

 
 

But Pammy has hired a prosecutor!

Umm, since when does a private citizen “hire” a prosecutor, you know, an attorney who represents the state?

 
 

I opened this post and literally heard the Mission Impossible earworm.

 
 

Umm, since when does a private citizen “hire” a prosecutor, you know, an attorney who represents the state?

Someone slept through the last decade.

 
 

I had my doubts, but the cool, flip way they throw around COLB convinced me. It’s like, they know so much about birth certificates, they have to invent acronyms. These people really know their shit.

 
 

I found a dead mutilated baby squirrel at my BACK DOOR 2 days ago! (and there it stayed till husband got rid of it). I assumed my cat was the culprit, but I see now it was- um- Obama?

If that’s the case, can Obama get over here to my house and start working on the goddam rats in my basement?

 
 

We’ve been discussing this for days. Glad it finally made it.

 
 

I found a dead mutilated baby squirrel

That’s a DMBS, get with the progrom, g.

 
 

So the idea of exposing this fake birth certificate is what exactly? Only thing that leaps to mind is that they’re going to argue eligibility for the office somehow? They couldn’t be putting this much effort into something like a difference in birth name and the name he uses now, could they?

Although I’d admit that something like the real name being Hussein Barry Obama would probably drive them into another frenzy.

So there’s no love for the theory that in a strict legal sense John McCain may not be a ‘natural born’ citizen?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23415028/

 
 

I don’t get the whole dead rabbit…thing.

It means that poor Technodude has pissed off these hardasses. And they’re Democrats!

 
 

So you know what this means don’t you?
Somewhere out there is the REAL Barack Obama.

I’m thinking a time machine is involved somehow.

 
 

So now we know that Obama was responsible for 9/11 – the only question is, why?

 
 

Every time an object or person (in this case an image) comes into contact with another object or person (in this case a computer) they leave traces of each other behind..

My favorite part of this is the idea that image files are carrying little silicon and copper chunks around with them, parts of every computer they’ve been sent through.

Or if they mean that the computers leave digital signatures as the files go through, somebody really needs to run a virus-checker.

 
 

I don’t think a multisexualislamopatchouloleftocrat would kill a bunny rabbit. We’re all vegans, for Gaia’s sake! Unless it were fetal, of course…

 
 

So now we know that Obama was responsible for 9/11 – the only question is, why?

It all makes sense when you realize that Obama is Dick Cheney’s zombie slave.

 
 

I have been certified by dozens and dozens of highly certificatory organizations, and it is my anonymous conclusion that this post is counterfeit.

 
 

This thread reminds me of the stories where something dumb happens on a ferry boat that makes everyone to run to one side, causing the boat to capsize and resulting in unimaginable chaos and hundreds of stupidly pointless deaths. Someone make them stop, please.

 
 

Some perspective.

I don’t know which is worse, the apparent forgery or the dead rabbit. Both attest to the disintegration of our political culture. You know, you read about the collapse of civilizations in history, but it’s another thing altogether to bear witness to the actual process, day after day after day.

 
 

Techdude gets the big guest post at No Quarter. He’s a blogospheric phenomenon!

 
 

Every time an object or person (in this case an image) comes into contact with another object or person (in this case a computer) they leave traces of each other behind..

Um, WHAT?

MDH, it’s like when someone burns toast. And don’t you never go into room 237, ya hear? Stay out!

 
 

I have been certified by dozens and dozens of highly certificatory organizations…

It’s been scientifically proven in pier-reviewed journals that many certificational organizations have been infooltrated by leftwingists and are not to be trusted. It is for this reason that the only certifications I accept are the ones I award to myself.

 
 

They did succeed in delaying the report by a few days but instead of deterring me they just really pissed me off. To their credit, if I had not taken a few days off from the analysis I would have missed the most damning piece of evidence – the remnants of the previous security border.

A few days?? What, did he rock himself in a corner for 72 hours, drinking cheap vodka and letting the shit accumulate in his underwear before he had his eureka moment? This gets better and better.

 
 

Polarik’s COLB images are huge.

 
 

It means that poor Technodude has pissed off these hardasses. And they’re Democrats!

The gang was led by Barry Sanders

Le gasp!

What I love about these conspiracy theories is the sheer power the fReichtards give Obama while still arguing he won’t be tuff enuff to kick the terrists asses.

This has gone from “Obama presented a forged certificate!!!” to “Obama has the entire state of Hawaii by the balls!!!”

You’d think they’d be all over such a ruthless bastard.

 
 

My deepest thanks and appreciation for Techdude’s unwavering commitment to the truth despite the threats and harassment, the slashed tires and the dead animal on his porch.

I think it’s at this point where we start having to think Atlas Juggs might herself be a parody troll. Seriously. If I brought out my Iris sockpuppet to say something like that, you’d rightly call it for what it was.

 
 

That was no dead rabbit, that was Pam’s weave!

 
 

You gotta take to the next level, D.N. Nation. Elevate your game with an Iris v-log. From the beach, preferably.

 
 

You know, you read about the collapse of civilizations in history, but it’s another thing altogether to bear witness to the actual process, day after day after day.

Deja vu – I remember thinking this a lot back in 2002 or so, around the time “Freedom Fries” was being taken seriously as political discourse.

 
 

my Iris sockpuppet

Oh man, I wind up getting drunk and singing that song over and over every St Patty’s day. Makes my head spin just to think of it now.

 
 

J— said,

July 22, 2008 at 5:51

You gotta take to the next level, D.N. Nation. Elevate your game with an Iris v-log. From the beach, preferably.

J– is right. And if you’re going to bring your A D game, you’re gonna have to get implants. For the children!

 
 

He has been performing computer based forensic investigations since 1993 (although back then it did not even have a formal name yet) …

Based on some of Pammy’s subtle clues, I have been able to conduct my own investigation on this techdude via the internets.

And, I am afraid to admit it, he seems legit.

According to my undercover sources, techdude apparently graduated with honors from the elite Ridgemont High School located near the beach somewhere in Cali.

Upon graduating he enrolled at Farber College, where he successfully completed the Double Secret Probation program in just seven years.
From there, my investigation unit has been able to verify a guy with similar computer credentials doing a lot of naval intelligence work in the early 80’s for the famed Magnum Crew of Hawaii. Thanks, in part to the undercover techdude’s computer skills, The Magnum Crew was able to thwart a bunch of commie bad guys from overtaking Hawaii.

However, from there my investigation hit a stonewall until one of my informers – some guy who posts a lot on the more conservative websites – said he remembers a computer expert referred to as “Tex” (possibly an alias) helping CIA agent Jack Bauer beat up some of them Islamadabadofascists a couple of years ago on one of those Pro-American TV shows (forget the name of the show).

Another poster said he remembers the same episode and he thinks this “Tex” was wearing a Hawaiian looking shirt as well. That’s proof enough for me.

So I think this confirms it.

Techdude and Pammy have solved the case. Congrats!

 
 

I don’t know which is worse, the apparent forgery or the dead rabbit. Both attest to the disintegration of our political culture. You know, you read about the collapse of civilizations in history, but it’s another thing altogether to bear witness to the actual process, day after day after day.

From Gibbon’s ‘The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire’:
Encamped with his Visigoths at Ostia, Alaric summoned Rome to surrender at discretion; and his demands were enforced by the positive declaration that a refusal, or even a delay, should be instantly followed by the dispatch of a mutilated dead rabbit onto the porch of the Senate. With this horrifying threat, the manly resolution of the Romans vanished. The gates of the city were thrown open and civilization collapsed while hippies sat around and smoked pot.

 
 

You know, I often think that the right-wing blogosphere can’t really be that stupid; surely you’re just picking on a few of the slowest-witted ones in their slowest-witted moments. Then I go and do something foolish like read the comments left at AJStrata’s piece, or read one of the right-wing sites you link to. Yeah, they’re really that dumb. All of them. All the time.

 
 

Pam really should sit down with a copy of Federal Rules of Evidence and see what it has to say about the credentials of expert witnesses.

She is such a moron. Both paranoid and stupid, and utterly impervious to facts and shame. Such a winning combination.

 
 

I like to play a little game called “what’s more likely?” It goes like this:

What’s more likely, that some lefty tree-hugger DFH Obama supporter brutally slaughtered a defenceless rabbit and hung it on Pammy’s Loon’s door, or that someone who personally knows said Loon and hates his guts did this deed?

Or: Is it more likely that there really was a deceased coney on the Loon’s door or that he made it all up?

 
 

“Wow! He managed to complete online applications and send membership fees to all those neat-o organizations? I hope he got a decoder ring and whistle.”

And if you hold Obama’s forged birth certificate upside down and to the light, you can faintly see a secret Islamo-Fascist message:

“Remember to drink your Ovaltine”

 
 

I think that it is more likely that a rabbit got it’s fur caught on a rusty nail as it meandered across this idiot’s stoop than that anyone actually did something to help him satisfy his martyr complex. So yeah… lying.

I do wonder if we shouldn’t check his back yard for any shallow animal graves…

 
 

(Pam) is such a moron. Both paranoid and stupid, and utterly impervious to facts and shame.

And therefore well qualified to run a successful conservative blog.

 
 

Wow, Pam’s really flipped; that much is clear, but who pray tell are these weirdos that read her and comment agreeably on her blog? Patients in a mental health facility?

 
 

And therefore well qualified to run a successful conservative blog.

One might say she’s got credentials.

 
 

“…vandalize my car and hang a dead mutilated rabbit from my front door in a lame attempt to intimidate me”

1. OMG!!! He’s being stalked be Glenn Close!!11!!1!11

2.. I’m sure he filed a police report right? Right? (Maybe we could look it up?)

3. Sounds like these persecuted right-wingers are reading from the same playbook as the Clinton “victims” of the 90’s. Wasn’t this the same crap that allegedly happened to Kathleen Wiley? (spelling?)

It’s a new millennium folks. Don’t the Obama people know how to hack computers and shut these people up?

No, no, let’s put a dead rabbit on his porch, that’ll put an end to this.

 
 

One might say she’s got credentials

Yeah, two of ’em.

 
 

Yeah, two of ‘em.

Now there’s a fine example of faked credentials.

 
 

Meanwhile, Radovan Karadžic is in custody, en route to The Hague, cushy life in serbian palaces at an end.

Sharon and Kissinger didn’t couldn’t be reached for comment…

IIRC, taxpayer-funded Secret Service protection now expires 10 years after the subject leaves office. Many people assume neither the C-Plus Augustus nor Darth Cheneybot have another decade due on their actuarial tables, but I live in hope.

As for Pammy’s Fighting Hellmice, I think we’ve found the unregistered Intergalactic Experiments from Lilo & Stitch — the ones not good enough for a half-hour skit on the Disney Channel.

 
 

From the comments at Strata-Sphere:

Conservative groups who still wish to swim in this issue need to be careful how they address it so they don’t look like partisan idiots.

Oh thank God this guy came along- it would’ve been bad if wingnuts started looking like partisan idiots. Wait… something’s happening…

[Obama] is a racist, anti-American radical, who hates whites, America, Christianity, free enterprise, and just about everything else about America. He loves the Muslim call to prayer, diversity, affirmative action, taxes, Islam, terrorists old and new, abortion, illegal immigration, etc.

Like the Marxist he is, he hates everything about the traditions and heritage of this country. He wants to destroy them and implement his dream of everyone being in equal poverty except for folks like him , the overlords.

Doooh! So much for that dumb idea… boing!

I liked this, too:

Clinton used the same tactic. He was accused of many conspiracies that had little based in reality. Him and his media buddies would always tie actual issues to the nonsense and defang attacks against him.

Damn you, Cliiintahhnnnn! Exploiting our compulsion to make up hysterical batshit-mad lies about him!

 
 

Obama] is a racist, anti-American radical, who hates whites, America, Christianity, free enterprise, and just about everything else about America. He loves the Muslim call to prayer, diversity, affirmative action, taxes, Islam, terrorists old and new, abortion, illegal immigration, etc.

Like the Marxist he is, he hates everything about the traditions and heritage of this country. He wants to destroy them and implement his dream of everyone being in equal poverty except for folks like him , the overlords.

yeah. That’s why he’s running for President. Makes perfect sense.

Huh? What? Sorry I was drinking.

 
 

That’s why he’s running for President. Makes perfect sense.

Well, we’re soon to wrap up a political epoch defined by a man who’s implementing a dream of everyone being in equal poverty except for folks like him, the overlords. It does make sense – in the wingnut mind, that’s what Presidents do.

 
 

I actually contain more osmium than any other element …

 
 

but who pray tell are these weirdos that read her and comment agreeably on her blog? Patients in a mental health facility?

Yes … no … yes … no ? Owww !!!!

Yes … no … yes … no .. OWWW!!!

Yes … no … yes … no …………………….

 
 

Techdude gets the big guest post at No Quarter. He’s a blogospheric phenomenon!

Heh.

 
 

Say, that’s quite a parody or even satire site you sent us to, that Strata-sphere thing. The comments aren’t witty the way Sadly’s are, of course; but the satire is profound.

The comment section is really magnificent, with the loony loonies being warned against foolishness by the prudent loonies, with all agreed on the evil mooslamism of Obamanation, who would lead the country to ruin. The leader of the Prudents, the lord high Stratum himself, knows that Obama is sitting on a good refutation of the birth certificate nonsense, but he’s not letting the ublic see it; instead he shows it in private to the media (who, it appears, are faithfully keeping the secret). That way, when the Right comes up with something real, he’ll remind them of this fake, which proves that everything is fake, so they’ll ignore the real one.

3. Profit!

I am not making this up.

Man, whoever writes that stuff is a comic genius. Or something.

 
 

This reminds me, when does the new X-Files movie come out? I wasn’t into it before, but she’s got me really stoked on this elaborate conspiracy and one-noble-person-taking-on-the-world thing again.

 
 

Fascinating that Obama can be a Muslim, a radical whitey-hatin’ gospel Christian AND a Marxist at the same time.

We sure are making multitasking shadows to jump at nowadays.

 
 

Every time an object or person (in this case an image) comes into contact with another object or person (in this case a computer) they leave traces of each other behind..

That much is actually true. Any file that resides on your hard drive leaves a trace. Even if your delete it, even if your use a military grade HD scrubber it can be recovered. Professional level forensic software can retrieve it. However it takes special training to use and it costs plenty. I doubt “TechDude” could afford it.

 
 

Every time an object or person (in this case an image) comes into contact with another object’s or person’s underwear, they leave traces of each other’s behind…

 
 

That much is actually true. Any file that resides on your hard drive leaves a trace. Even if your delete it, even if your use a military grade HD scrubber it can be recovered. Professional level forensic software can retrieve it. However it takes special training to use and it costs plenty. I doubt “TechDude” could afford it.

Well, the amusing thing is that when you look at practical cryptography, it’s one of those rare fields in which the sword is lagging two or three generations behind the shield.

And what she almost certainly meant was the signature of pseudorandom bits used in photoshopping.

Even from a hardcore right-wing perspective I do not fucking get this. My birth certificate is in horrible shape (funny, the oppressive bureaucratization of American society never seems to bother them much, which I guess is a side-effect of them realizing you could privatize a bureaucracy as well as any other function any sane state keeps a monopoly on to prevent abuse), and yet there’s all kinds of direct testament to my having been born in the time and place I was. Same goes for Obama. His mother was in Hawaii at the time, that’s the only time she could have credibly had him by the father we know him to be by, and if he’s not the age he claims to be he’s the spitting image of it.

This is a horrible argument, and I’m actually a little offended at myself and all of us for indulging it. It’s a mixture of equal parts Republican hysterrhea and hard-right-wing conspiracy lunacy. If the birth control thing hadn’t come up, it’d be something else; apophenia works in strange ways, just like God, Santa Claus, and the Zionist Occupied Government (although if it works the same way to all three we’ve got a lot of five-year-olds to get help before it’s too late).

 
 

So does this mean Osama bin Laden is Obama’s father? Or is he just the Anti-Christ?

And will the guy flinging road kill at techdude please stop. Seriously. It’s only funny the first time.

 
Inconstant Reader
 

Fascinating that Obama can be a Muslim, a radical whitey-hatin’ gospel Christian AND a Marxist at the same time.

Just like Jews are international bankers and atheistic Communists and host-mutilating Christ-haters.

That’s what they’re hiding — Obama’s Jewish! Should we tell Pammy?

 
 

Professional level forensic software can retrieve it. However it takes special training to use and it costs plenty. I doubt “TechDude” could afford it.

You also (correct me if I’m wrong) need access to the computer(s) that once held the data.

Next: fReichtards demand Obama turn over every computer he, his family and associates have ever touched.

 
 

That way, when the Right comes up with something real, he’ll remind them of this fake, which proves that everything is fake, so they’ll ignore the real one.

Kind of sounds crazy until you realize that this is exactly how Rove took down Dan Rather. But then you realize that these people are fucking crazy and they’re talking about a conspiracy around a god damned forged birth certificate.

For all of you asking “Why? Why would Barry possibly need to forge his birth certificate?” Obviously it’s because the genuine documents conclusively show that Baby Barry never put in all of his required flight hours and refused to take a physical.
Also he did a lot of coke and couldn’t fly a plane for shit.

 
Just Alison, without Qetesh
 

These techdudes really have no idea how computers work, do they? It’s very much possible – and not all that hard – to remove all trace of things that were on a computer. Even Photoshop itself can be deleted! Wow.

Hate to be the one to break it to you, guys (if I am), but deletion ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. When you delete something, all those little bitty ones and zeros don’t all just fall back to zero – even if you overwrite some other data, there are still traces to be found. I don’t know the precise details of computer forensics, but essentially it means that the ‘1’ goes to something like ‘0.00003’: the charge isn’t exactly binary on/off, it’s more lot/little, and it’s well-nigh impossible to completely remove the charge from something that’s been charged.

So basically, yes, computer forensics can detect what’s been on a computer, even if it’s been deleted and re-formatted. Even if it’s been broke, sometimes. If you ever need to completely destroy a computer disc, consider putting it next to a powerful electromagnet for a while. Or grind it down with an industrial grinder, that’ll fix it.

 
 

So. OK, I get it!! Barachmed Hussein Obsama used a giant space magnet to wipe every computer at Hawaii’s Department of Health to get rid of his CODB and replaced it with one showing he isn’t an alien zombie Marxist Muslim!!!

 
 

And will the guy flinging road kill at techdude please stop. Seriously. It’s only funny the first time.

Tell us about it!

 
 

Hate to be the one to break it to you, guys (if I am), but deletion ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. When you delete something, all those little bitty ones and zeros don’t all just fall back to zero – even if you overwrite some other data, there are still traces to be found.

Well that is true. What is also true is there are things called secure file shredders, or something like Darik’s boot and nuke which basically zero out the data. Most corporate computers are imaged anyways, which means one can easily replace the contents of their hard disks.

Now, it is likely that had such a forgery been made, there’d be traces of it somewhere. Of course if I was an Obanazi desperately trying to cover up the fact that, ummm, his mother actually named him Adolf Stalin Osama Hussein Obama, I’d do it on my home laptop in my spare time and not on a campaign computer… But then I am not part of a conspiracy that controls the state of Hawaii.

 
 

Arky—

I think this might be what he’s doing.

 
 

Oh noes! Obama controls teh Quantum Butterfliez!!11

 
 

pier-reviewed journals

I’d say I’d like a column in a pier-reviewed journal, but I’d just be being arch.

 
 

Don’t the Obama people know how to hack computers and shut these people up?

The hacker team meant for Techdude and the bunny team meant for Tom Kovach got mixed up.

 
Another TechGuy, But Not One That Will Do Anything For Just ANY Old Sillicon
 

I stand to be corrected here, but basically when you delete a file on your computer, all you are doing is removing the flag which indicates those sectors on the disc contain data, and shouldn’t be written over; If you were to delete every file back to a ground-state every time it would lead to excessive HDD wear (programs create and delete thousands of files on the fly constantly, as they perform tasks or call upon virtual memory). So modern computers just take off the filing tag, and mark those sectors as available for use when space is required… but the file itself, if not the tags which let it be seen, is still there.

Over time your computer will slowly write over the sectors of the disc that any data used to be on, part per part, until it’s totally gone; at which point there’s absolutely no way to get it back. That’s assuming the same HDD is still in the computer in the first place… If I were involved in such a huge conspiracy to get a 6 armed, inverted pentagram badge wearing, Sikh turban wearing Muslim who kills rabbits with a hammer in one hand and a sickle in the other, I’d simply professionally purge the entire drive, then make sure it was sold on to some unsuspecting punter, before putting a factory-fresh drive into my computer. There’s be no way to ever know the “forgery” had been on my computer then, as neither the BIOS nor the remaining hardware can technically “see” the contents of the HDD, only receive orders from it. The only other way to trace my computer would be via IP address, but I’d simply have emailed it to The Great Orange Satan Etc from someone else’s computer… in a WiFi cafe.

 
 

I can’t wait for the dueling doycanos to break out the whine n’cheese for the Saga of Techdude. I can smell the passive-aggressive nonsense already.

 
 

As an expert trained in many mail-order comics drawing courses, the evidence unquestionably indicates that Barack Obama’s so-called “Birth Certificate” is simply an edited image from the instruction manual to the Jack LaLane Power Juicer.

After having concluded this, my lawn was littered with the mutilated bodies of thousands and thousands of grass blades, and this attempted attempt to silence me will fail.

 
Ghost of Joe Liebling's Dog
 

I got curious about the IISFA.

They have an About Us page: Click the link for a 404 page — with a magnifying glass, Sherlock!

They list their sponsors too: Page under construction.

They have 3 chapters in the US: Atlanta (server not found); Minneapolis (their next meeting “will not be until June, 2008” because they’re sharing some Booth 420 *cough* at the Upper Midwest Security Alliance Secure 2008 Secure360°™ conference with the Minnesota Chapter of Infragard), and New England (see the pretty girl and the Hoodia ad.)

I’m impressed! I’d sign up, but their administration is through runmyclub.com and I’m not sure they’re Real Americans.

 
 

What is the right’s fascination with acronyms? “COLB?” Really? Just call it a birth certificate already. Sheesh. You’re not a cop or a CENTCOM officer.

I’ve noticed the same thing. If you go to Redstate or Freeperpark its all SCOTUS this and POTUS that. It must be that official-sounding acronyms feels good in some nook in the authoritarian brainstem.

 
 

I have been certified by dozens and dozens of highly certificatory organizations…

Hes been certified all right.

 
 

when I find a dead animal on my porch, I blame my cat. I guess I am not thinking out of the box.

 
 

Another TechGuy:

While wear is an issue, mostly the reason why files aren’t overwritten on deletion is performance – there’s typically no reason to do it and added write time just makes the bottleneck that’s disk IO worse.

“Securely” deleting a file involves overwriting one or more times with other data (random data works best). Multiple passes are a good idea, too, since forensic data recovery people actually can recover data that’s been overwritten, owing to the way magnetic storage works. That’s part of the reason why random data is better than just all ones or zeroes – it makes more noise, so that kind of recovery is harder to do since you can’t tell as easily what’s part of the original file and what’s the obfuscating data.

That said, all praise The Great Orange Satan.

 
 

I’d say I’d like a column in a pier-reviewed journal, but I’d just be being arch.

Quit pontificating before someone kicks you in the groin.

 
 

I’m still trying to understand what’s motivating this stupidity. I know, I know, I might as well try and understand why Ed Gein liked to save people’s skin, but there’s just got to be a rationale for it. What is the perceived endgame?

All I can think of is that they suspect he secretly isn’t a U.S. citizen and thus is thus disqualified to run for president. They think he made it this far in life (Harvard, prof at U.of Chicago, Illinois State Senator, U.S. Senator, …. um, driver’s license and passport applications) without ever having to provide proof of citizenship.

I knew Pam was a nutter the first time I saw her website. That layout is like the html version of a Hieronymus Bosch painting.

 
 

We all have to realize that it is our job, no, our DUTY to make sure that they keep thinking about this for as long as possible. This is a gift from god.

 
 

I stand to be corrected here, but basically when you delete a file on your computer, all you are doing is removing the flag which indicates those sectors on the disc contain data, and shouldn’t be written over…

Depends on the particular filesystem you’re using, but yes. None of them that I know of actually bother to go overwrite the actual data. I have seen “shredders” that overwrite everything with zeroes, then ones, then “checkerboard” ones and zeroes, etc.

Or grind it down with an industrial grinder, that’ll fix it.

That’s more the kind of thing I’d do if I had a drive that had data I really didn’t want recovered on it. I was thinking more along the lines of a crucible, but a grinder would be fun too.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Quit pontificating before someone kicks you in the groin

That calls for the Ode to the Nut Shot.

 
 

I’ve noticed the same thing. If you go to Redstate or Freeperpark its all SCOTUS this and POTUS that. It must be that official-sounding acronyms feels good in some nook in the authoritarian brainstem.

Not to mention the overcapitalization and alternate definitions for common words. You have to wonder if we are ten years into a much larger split – in another 20 will our languages be mutually comprehensible?

 
 

They’re like a bunch of Barney Fifes, only not funny.

 
 

Hey! Where’s my Hat Tip?

 
 

That stovepipe doesn’t suit you.

 
 

All I can think of is that they suspect he secretly isn’t a U.S. citizen and thus is thus disqualified to run for president.

Americans who are darker than a certain hue a familiar with the redneck rallying cry: Go back to where you came from! Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck.

In their tiny minds brown people can’t be real Americans and that includes the Native Americans, so Shamala and pals are naturally going to accept anything that looks like proof, even if you twist the definition of proof until it snaps, that he isn’t really an American. That’s why countering with questions about JSM’s citizenship are a non-starter. He’s Caucasian. Of course he’s American.

 
 

People, don’t be worried about your computer data. It is easily purged so that even spooky cheney-acolytes at the NRO can’t get it off your disk.

1) delete the files you’re worried about after backing them up to a CDROM or DVD, which you then swallow.
2) remove all temp files from your /windows/temp, cookie, and other temp dirs
3) empty your trashbin
4) make endless copies of a large file onto your hard disk until the bits are spilling out of your cooling vents; I will refer to these from now on as Garbage Files; in the spirit of acronym-obsessed wingnuts everywhere – GF (no, I’m not maligning you-know-whos)
5) delete enough of the GF that you just made copies of to allow your defragger to work efficiently (leave about 5% free space), empty the wastbasket
6) run the defragger
7) delete the rest of the GF, and empty the wastbasket
8) repeat this twice – five times if the cheneybots are knocking on your door.
9) occasionally zero out your swapfile and any other large, persistent, temp files. Search download.com to find freeware to do this.

If you’re really paranoid, never defrag your computer (except for when you do step 6 above), and do steps 1-9 on a regular basis. Even if some crazed nutjob gets a hold of your computer he/she won’t be able to undelete a thing.

Sorry for the windoze-centric post. But Mac people should be able to figure out the equivalent steps.

 
 

Addendum to the above post about file deletion:

Overwrite the superblock* data on your computer once in a while. The basic idea to do this is to make a gzip/bzip/zip/tar/cpio archive of all your personal and/or sensitive files, delete the entire directory structure that you just backed up, do steps 1-8 above, and then unpack your archive.

* the file pointer structure is not called a superblock on a windoze box, but whatever those dopes in Redmond call their equivalent

 
 

All I can think of is that they suspect he secretly isn’t a U.S. citizen and thus is thus disqualified to run for president.

I’ve highlighted the reason you cant understand the scumfucks of the right wing.

 
 

Fascinating that Obama can be a Muslim, a radical whitey-hatin’ gospel Christian AND a Marxist at the same time.

Don’t think of them as words that refer to things or ideas; they’re more like the string of expletives Yosemite Sam screams as he repeatedly falls through the same trap door.

 
 

Every time an object or person (in this case an image) comes into contact with another object or person (in this case a computer) they leave traces of each other behind.

Law of Contagion. Basic witchcraft. Hey Pammy, Barack got his hair cut in at the base in Iraq. Why don’t you hustle over there and get some, so that you can cast a spell on him?

 
Principal Blackman
 

But Pammy has hired a prosecutor!

Indeed–and part of me thinks that prosecutor has himself a pretty sweet gig now. I mean, think about it: This crazy lady regularly comes to your office and cuts you a check for tilting at windmills. If he handles it well, he could keep the checks coming indefinitely. “We’re so close to proving that all the crazy shit you say is true…just need a little more time and money!”

 
 

Of course, you could use PGP Whole Disk Encryption and a good, strong passphrase.

Sure, you could be waterboarded into giving up your passphrase, but short of that you should be good to go…

mikey

 
 

Sure, you could be waterboarded into giving up your passphrase…

That really is the weak link in every security scheme, isn’t it?

 
mmm...lemonheads
 

I am a certified paranormal/forensic pathologist who has tirelessly looked over these images, at great risk to my ferrets.
I have come to the conclusion that Obama was never born (way to go, Photoshop!).

 
Snarki, child of Loki
 

…and hang a dead mutilated rabbit from my front door in a lame attempt to intimidate me

Dude! You were so busy with the kerning stuff that you got hungry, made an order for delivery, forgot you did it, then freaked out when the delivery person knocked on the door!

So OF COURSE he left your order on the porch! They’ve gotten orders from you before, that’s why they want a credit card number in advance.

Now change your pants, scarf some bunny sushi, and get back to work!

 
 

There’s someone up there called A Real Techguy who seems to be speaking a cross between Russian and Washing Machine. I’ll see if I can find a secret decoder ring somewheres around here and let y’all know what he’s talking about…

Seriously, I am not the hottest soldering iron in the computer tool box.

 
 

The comments at Pam’s are still a raging torrent of wacko:

he is pretending to be African-American. THAT’s my little problem actually in all of this. He doesn’t even meet the threshold in the US to be considered African minority. His family lineage is ARABIC. So let’s call a spade a spade. Barack is our 1st Arab-American presidential candidate. Why is that so hard to consider? Why is that FACT going to dissuade people from voting for him if skin color, religion, birth status, and his socialist views don’t matter?

Nice little case of wingnut Tourette’s developing there, with the inappropriate use of the spade cliche. By election day they’re going to be so unhinged they’ll be regularly screaming “NIGGAR” at odd moments.

Let Obama authorize the following to release his records: States of Hawaii, Washington, NY, DC, Mass, Illinois, Countries US-passport office, FBI, Canada, Indonesia, Kenya, and Pakistan on 1981 trip, every school, church and mosque that has records, and maybe others. There was an investigation of snooping in his passport records. Why not let us see them?

Hey, it’s awfully restrained of him not to demand a semen sample to check against unsolved rape cases, and maybe an asshole print just for the hell of it.

 
 

I keep hearing this Arabic ancestry thing. It’s true that if he were from some of the countries in the northern part of the continent he’d be legally defined as Caucasian (in the U.S).

Kenya is … how can I say this? Not even close, no matter how often you check the kerning.

Is it because these asshats think Muslim = Arabic or is there some twisted line of logic I can’t quite grasp?

That second comment bears the sweet scent of Spoof.

 
 

Nope, the asshole-print guy seems to be quite serious. Yes, they are that far gone.

 
 

“There’s someone up there called A Real Techguy who seems to be speaking a cross between Russian and Washing Machine. I’ll see if I can find a secret decoder ring somewheres around here and let y’all know what he’s talking about…”

I’ll decode my post for you:

“Type a bunch of letters on the keyboard that is connected to the box that has a bunch of wires coming out of it that sits on your desk. Look for the box connected to a futuristic-looking screen, straight out of Buck Rogers, that displays a bunch of pictures when keys are depressed on said keyboard.”

 
 

Holy crap! This kerning obsesion is like Francis E. Dec drawing those schematics by John Nash in A Beautiful Mind, only with is own poo.

Goddammit! I’ve got two copies of my birth certificate from California. One is a crappy 2nd- or 3rd-generation xerox, only it’s legal because some bureaucrat blind-stamped it with the state seal. The other, from about 10 years later, looks more birth-certificatey, like in color and a nice apostille sticker on it. 10 years after *that* I can’t get another copy unless I personally walk into the state Vital Statistics office (or whatever it’s called), produce a couple pieces of ID and, for all I know, spooge out a DNA sample before they’ll even *think* about issuing me a new COLB.

Times change, but full faith and redit and all that. For all I know, Obama’s birth certificate could have been written on a grocery bag with crayon but it would still be legal as long as someone in the state office put his (or her) chop on it.

 
Warranted and Certifiable
 

C’mon people–SCOTUS is two letters away from being scrotum. And POTUS just looks dirty.

 
 

Type a bunch of letters on the keyboard that is connected to the box that has a bunch of wires coming out of it that sits on your desk

*head explodes*

 
 

Even better than the comments at Atlas Jugs are the comments at the wingnut site that debunks the myth. it’s a full on chicken fight over who is the superior kerner.

 
 

I knew Pam was a nutter the first time I saw her website. That layout is like the html version of a Hieronymus Bosch painting.

elitist scum

 
 

I have come to the conclusion that Obama was never born

Well duh. I think it’s been firmly established that he was hatched from a giant egg on the Planet Zsdfakre. What’s the confusion?

 
 

I’ve never met a computer problem that a ball peen hammer couldn’t solve.

 
 

Don’t think of them as words that refer to things or ideas; they’re more like the string of expletives Yosemite Sam screams as he repeatedly falls through the same trap door.

That is so exactly right. They are really just noises, that stand for a whole system of What’s Wrong With the World. Part shorthand, part euphemistic to emotions they don’t want to directly admit – but which bind them together.

“Muslim” means “not-like-us brown enemy who wants to kill us”; the radical black Christian thing means “not-like-us EVEN BROWNER enemy who wants to kill us”, and “Socialist” means “not-like-us white race traitor enemy who wants to take our money”.

Fear is what binds these statements together, in their minds. They communicate in this reinforcing channel of fear, reject logic that counters it, freak out and get each other riled up, and look for any random bits of shiny infocrap they can put in one box or the other.

And then:
– someone else comes in and uses the sounds in their logical, descriptive context – but it just slides off, ’cause they ain’t receiving on that channel.

– they keep looking for random bits of shiny info-crap that ties to one word-sound-emotional-memeplex or the other –
And it doesn’t matter which sound they tie it too, it proves the fearfulness of ALL the sounds – because the main point of the sounds is Ways He’s Not Like Us and Therefore Is The Enemy.

Man oh man.

 
 

My god. Those commenters at Atlas are completely batshit insane.

Apologies for the slur on batshit.

 
Just Alison, without Qetesh
 

POTUS makes me giggle. FLOTUS makes me giggle uncontrollably.

 
 

I’ve noticed the same thing. If you go to Redstate or Freeperpark its all SCOTUS this and POTUS that. It must be that official-sounding acronyms feels good in some nook in the authoritarian brainstem.

Well, obviously. You’ll remember how fond the Nazis and Stalinists were of syllabic acronyms; the only reason we’re not being watched by the Hosepo is that English likes acronyms better.

Nice little case of wingnut Tourette’s developing there, with the inappropriate use of the spade cliche. By election day they’re going to be so unhinged they’ll be regularly screaming “NIGGAR” at odd moments.

Or, better yet, ‘NIGGARAB’ – Obama exists in this quantum racial state, where his father being a long-lapsed Muslim makes him an Arab, his father being from Africa makes him a negro, and his mother being white makes him a racial impostor. I think that’s why we’ve been seeing the right wing hammer on this birth certificate thing so hard – they don’t want it to be observed, for then Obama’s racial waveform would collapse and they’d only have one set of paranoiac slurs to throw at him.

 
 

This means that Pammy is covered in some sort of oily film that rubs off on everything she touches, doesn’t it?

I’m pretty sure this is true of all wingnuts.

 
 

I wonder if the wingnuts speculating that Obama is an Arab American realize that Bush apparatchiks such as John Sununu, Spencer Abraham, republican governors and congressmen Jean Shaheen, Darrell Issa, Ray Lahood, Reagan envoy Phil Habib, as well as the late Michael DeBakey are arab americans?

 
 

It looks like the first two credentials on techdude’s list are associations that anyone can join. The third was was the The International Society of Forensic Computer Examiners, whose website proclaims the following:

BEWARE – Note to potential clients of examiners who claim to be CCE certified

The CCE is becoming a valuable credential for forensic computer examiners. We have found a number of individuals who are stating that they are Certified Computer Examiners, even though they have not been credentialed by the ISFCE certifying board. If you are going to use a CCE certified examiner in your case, beware that there are examiners whose credibility could be successfully challenged, because they misstate their CCE credentials.

All CCE certified individuals will have a certification number. If your examiner’s name is not on this list, get their certification number and name and provide it to us. We will verify that they are CCE certified individuals. If you are making an official inquiry about the CCE certification, please use the contact form.

We regularly conduct pro-active investigations to help keep the integrity of the CCE secure. You can help by reporting suspected or unauthorized use of the CCE designation.

I wonder what would happen if someone filled out the contact form. Note that techdude didn’t claim certification, but “ISFCE membership is currently limited to certified individuals. In 2008, the ISFCE is planning on extending membership to interested individuals for an annual membership fee.”

 
 

Also, the last association on the list doesn’t appear to require any credentials to join.

 
Hensley Family Beer Gangsters
 

I did manage to talk with a computer technician who was familiar with the computers and printers used by the Department of Health and the clerk’s offices. He was unwilling to give any specific details but did provide enough information to work with.

Whoa! – And does this certain computer technician drive a certain white, black and orange VW Beetle? Only a GS’er would have those recondite details re the architecture of a Dell Dimension desktop, or an HP printer! The Trilateral Commission will be hanging a slaughtered bunny on that car, forthwith!

 
 

[…] own that is entirely their decision. Now let’s get to the summarized report. Read more on Book Test Online Related […]

 
 

I every time spent my half an hour to read this blog’s content everyday along with a cup of coffee.

 
 

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