This is easily one of the most insane things I have ever read, and is scarring my brain far more than the Pain Series ever did. Thanks, Sadly, No!.

This writer also dared to proclaim that the lightning storm that triggered more than 800 wildfires in a single day — a day that had significance of its own, both in calendar position and in events — was part of a specific sequence of events predicted in the Bible as the start of the seven-year period called The Tribulation.

… according to the Rapture, which is an idea from the mid-eighteenth century.

It’s one thing to think a Magical Sky Fairy is punishing people for their genitals, but it’s quite another to belong to some ignorant Cargo Cult of a Sky Fairy Church that the rest of the Sky Fairy Churches around the world have never heard of.

And, according to the gospel Jim Bob…
.

Did he miss the part where God set Butte County afire as punishment for its refusal to marry same-sex couples?

The Holy Bible says that, in the End Times, people will scoff.

Yes, yes we will. And will continue to do so, world without end, amen.

Mmm, nothing beats that 1970 vintage Lindsey label.

I never will get used to this mashing up of 21st-century technology and Medieval thought.

Scientists could not have predicted this a month ago!

Actually, I know of no scientists who would have been surprised that a superannuated cracker with a hat collection would seize on other people’s misery as an opportunity to scrawl bullshit on a map to prove that God hates all the same people, too.

Actually, it’s getting kinda old.
.

I have closely examined the kerning on multiple copies of the Bible present in my house, and I have no choice but to conclude that they were horrible forgeries!!!

Sorry, Rapture is mid-nineteenth century, which is the eighteen hundreds. Syntax, schmyntax.
.

Again, whenever my right-leaning chums bring up Alan Keyes as an example all black youths should follow, I kindly remind them that Keyes hangs out with whack-a-doodles like this guy.

I demand that you inform me ahead of time when you’re going to link to things that will halve my IQ just by skimming them.

Just saw his maps.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Damn! That is nucyular stupid. My wife says I shouldn’t mock other peoples’ faith but I jess caint hep it. If you tell me you believe some stupid shit, armageddon to call ya stupid.

I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir, but I’m reading “The Age of American Unreason” by Susan Jacoby and she nails this phenomenon. Anti-intellectualism and fundamentalism are basically the same thing, which is central to my point.

No way, tb. Revel in the glory!

Tom Kovach is quickly becoming my favorite wingnut.

I love the way he uses ‘this writer’ and ‘this column’.

And WTF does a crescent and star (no matter how dubiously concocted) have to do with Revelations? Its like the End Times equivalent of a mixed metaphor.

I know of no scientists who would have been surprised that a superannuated cracker with a hat collection would seize on other people’s misery as an opportunity to scrawl bullshit on a map to prove that God hates all the same people, too.

Actually, it’s getting kinda old.

You ever wonder if the inventors of the “Rapture” — or at least some of the people unfortunate enough to have to live with those inventors — were just happy to fantasize about a world without, you know, professional “Christians”?

Let’s insert a Satanic star (point-down) over the location of the Bohemian Grove.

I mean, Jesus fuckin’ Christ. I’ve some idiots in my day but this… fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I’m looking around the room for something to knock myself out with.

I predict a black hole will form from the implosion of stupid in Tom Kovach’s head and nothing of substance or thought will ever escape from his pen again.

….

Right on schedule, just as I predicted. Please send me money.

Lemme see if I can theodicify this tribulation/end times bit. Sky Daddy knows all, sees all, duz all. Sky Daddy sees the future and the pain caused by free will and he can, if’n he’s of a mind, prevent it. But instead plans to play the cosmic “told ya so” card and throw people into a fiery pit for not sayin’ or believin’ whatever the fuck it is they should say/believe. Sinners, that’ll teach ’em. Thanks Pops!

But, when the Philistines put the Ark of God into the temple of their idol (Dagon — a giant fish, from which the saying “holy mackerel” comes),

Sadly, No!

Beginning in February of this year, until yesterday, I have been working on a book about Bible prophecy and the signs of the End Times. Recently, I foolishly released a preview of my work in a column. Late yesterday evening, 90 pages of book turned into gobbledygook on my computer. Mere coincidence?

The book, Tribulation: 2008, included maps, photos, and was heavily footnoted with other supporting documentation. The online version (which was almost complete when my computer was apparently hacked) contained links to every major supporting Web page, so that readers could verify information and dig even deeper for themselves.

So, his ‘book’ was researched entirely on the internets? I’ll bet it will put the other 10,952,647 books about Teh Rapture to shame. Totally!

Uh oh, I think my soul just went to Threat-con Orange. Better repent. Pony up some tithe.

Revelation 8:5–

5And the angel took the censer, and filled it with fire of the altar, and cast it into the earth: and there were voices, and thunderings, and lightnings, and an earthquake.

Those “voices”–surely they’re the “voices” of This Writer, writing in This Column for The Reader.

(This timetable makes Tom either a mid-Trib, pre-Wrath, or Post-Trib Rapturist. No wonder he needs so many hats. It’s gonna get funky out there before he’s swept up to join JC.)

If I were to write some delicious yet horrifying slash involving Kovach and a wingnut to be named later, do you think there would be an audience for it?

Jumping Jeebus on matzoth toast, that is some world class stupid. That’s up there with David Icke and Texe Marrs stupid.

Do the pee stains ever dry on Tom-boy’s pants?

If you rearrange the letters in ‘Tom Kovach’, remove some letters, and insert some other letters, you get ‘THE ANTICHRIST’. Hard to argue with evidence like that.

“There shall in that time be rumors of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia-work base, that has an attachment. At that time, a friend shall lose his friend’s hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight O’clock. “

From Tom’s bio (& it was scary to go that far in to Renewamerica)

Talk radio had been Tom’s life-long career dream.
But…
Tom gave his 30-day notice (thus releasing him from his contract), and walked away from the program, after discovering a persistent anti-Israel bias among many network callers (and even among some network officials).

…letting nothing interfere with his end-times obsession.

And I gotta say again, this guy just sets my gaydar off at 130dB, except that he also sets off the danger warning that he’s deeply S&M. Could be because he looks exactly like a leather guy I know, but if his wife could please show up and post that he’s a cupcake at home, I’d sure appreciate the clarification.

Is that from the Life of Brian?

This writer dares to proclaim that Tom Kovach is an ass. This writer dares to point out that Mr. Kovach is “all hat and no cattle,” as we say in Texas. This writer dares to refer to herself in the third person and finds that doing so does not automatically lend her gravitas. This writer urges Mr. Kovach to get a clue.

“Dog will not be mocked.” The Epistle of Rover to the Galatians 2:4

Right, Teh Google.

Nice call, Pirelli. Life of Brian is one of my all time favs.

Is someone paying Kovach to write this? If so, I can write half as crazy for half the money. If not… well I sorta understand the motivation behind Kovach, but how could someone publish this (even Renew America) without dissolving into a fit of giggles?

OK. Batshit crazy and dumb as a box of rocks. Sounds like a winning combination to me. Ought to be a big hit in Outer Dumbfuckistan and other provinces of Greater Wingnuttia. Pope was waaaaay to generous.

I just love that “the book was hacked” is a broken link. If Tom Kovach didn’t exist someone would have to invent him. He’s like Jeff K, or B1FF.

Wow. That poor fellow is in dire need of medical attention.

Sorry, Rapture is mid-nineteenth century, which is the eighteen hundreds.

Mid-nineteenth century is like the eighteen forties to the eighteen sixties or so. Eighteen hundreds are early nineteenth century (and the very end of the eighteenth I guess).

Wait… so if the crescant is the symbol of Islam and God showed his power against the idolators by using a crescant… shouldn’t Kovach be converting to Islam?

“Gozer the Traveler – he will come in one of the prechosen forms. During the rectification of the Valdranaii, the traveler came as a large and moving Torr! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him – THAT OF A GIANT SLORR! Many shubs and zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the slorr that day, I can tell you! “

Jesus-is-Lord.com ?!?! WTF?! But what happened to Jesus-is-Savior.com?

Has Tom Kovach and the Anti-Christ Slideshow and the satanic forged bibles fallen for the the damnable doctrine of Lordship Salvation?

What to do? Is Jesus Christ the Savior or is he The Lord and Savior? Whatever he is, he’d better be pretty darned delicious, because the false “strange god” Kovach is warning us of looks like a croissant! Mmmm buttery French pastries. Maybe with a latté.

sorry… that’s crescent obviously. i think the stupid is leaking into my skull.

Beginning in February of this year, until yesterday, I have been working on a book about Bible prophecy and the signs of the End Times. Recently, I foolishly released a preview of my work in a column. Late yesterday evening, 90 pages of book turned into gobbledygook on my computer. Mere coincidence?

I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me. I’ve written some tremendously brilliant stuff, usually after staying awake for the entire weekend and then starting work around 3 AM Monday morning, but then at some point after I save it (but before I turn it in) it gets replaced with poorly-constructed nonsense!

I think maybe Pop-n-fresh is the anti-christ. He giggles when you touch his tummy now but soon, very soon, he will show his true nature. Quickly Robin, to the photoshop!

Mere coincidence?

Certainly not – I could easily believe that the Hand of a benevolent God spared the world from its publication.

Remember: God helps those who help themselves by running backups.

We will all be the maple smokee link centers of cosmic pigs-in-a-blanket made of, you guessed it, CRESCENT ROLLS!

God helps those who help themselves by running backups.

That is, you should run your own backups, and then God will help you. He isn’t your IT scutmonkey.

World “leaders,” in priestly robes, before the Bohemian Grove idol.
(Source: Jesus-is-Lord.com)

Yet, not one of these “leaders” is identified. Is it possible… could it be… that Tom Kovach is simply… pulling things out of his ass???

Talk about your freak shows.

Also note: all of Kov-hat’s earthquakes are < Richter 3.0

Here’s a list of all 3.0+ earthquakes in the past week. There’s one in California, near Oildale – which is near Bakersfield, which is like a hundred and fifty miles away from the croissant of the “strange god”.

What’s a < 3.0 quake? Not felt/Generally not felt, about 9000 per day.

Okay. This has to be a parody. C’mon, nobody is that batshit crazy and still walking the streets without howling at the traffic.

This is by that Jesus General guy, right?

What’s a < 3.0 quake? Not felt/Generally not felt, about 9000 per day.

That sounds about right – I lived in California for awhile and the place wobbles like a goddam blancmange. Our wingnut friend seems to be nutpicking natural phenomena!

Jesus, he really is as stupid as he looks. I remain convinced that my lack of religion is the way to go. No fucking way am I going to be on the same “team” as this guy!

This is exactly why I stopped posting here at Sadly, O!, and exactly why I won’t vote for a single Democrat in November’s elections. This man is nothing more than an average, blue-collar Bubba, the type of voter Democrats need to maintain the center…and yet you take his words out of context and act like he’s stupid. Shame on you. Shame on you for forcing people away from the Democratic Party, shame on you for putting all your money down on an inadequate candidate who has never stood for the rights of women…the same women who will walk from this party if the superdelegates halt their recent flipping to Hillary. You say there’s no chance, but I assure you, there is, and it’s people like me and Tom Kovach who will bring your precious to ruin.

Only an all-powerful God could have arranged earthquakes to appear on a map in the shape of an upside-down-and-backwards Islamic crescent. But, wait, there’s more.

This is actual text from his column. How do you parody this?

Now, is it any wonder that the people who engineered the modern giveaway of Israel’s land are the same people (Henry Kissinger, George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and George W. Bush) that worship before an idol of a Mesopotamian demon?

Whuzza…huh…wha?

…and yet you take his words out of context and act like he’s stupid.

No, that’s the fun part! Go read the whole column! It’s stupider in context!

Pirelli’s Purse – the correct spelling is ‘sloar’. I know this because I used to have the book adaptation of Ghostbusters. It was pretty good, but for some reason it was written in the present tense – “Venkman walks across the room” and so on. Wierd.

Ummm…is he off his meds?

When I get home, I am going to make a map of all the tornadoes that have hit Oklahoma over the past 10 years. Just like stars in the sky, I bet I can make all SORTS of cool line pictures. That one over there looks exactly like the Betty Crocker spoon! And it’s right over Tulsa! You know what that means, right? GAY!! And this bunch over here, that looks EXACTLY like the gelogic strata formed during the great Permian extinction! Which proves, without a doubt, that the Earth is not 6000 years old.

I thought that there might be a lower limit in stupidity, but I keep getting proved incorrect.

It’s Thursday’s map he’s put up. On that very day, there was a 4.4, a 5.5 and a 5.7 magnitude quake near Yachats. So not only is he futzing about with barely detectable tremblers, he’s also ignoring a set of actual potentially damage causing quakes, because they’re too far away from the gay marrying pagan hippies in Croissant County California.

It’s Thursday’s map he’s put up. On that very day, there was a 4.4, a 5.5 and a 5.7 magnitude quake near Yachats. So not only is he futzing about with barely detectable tremblers

But when God is REALLY pissed, he sends TINY earthquakes. You know, like how some people talk in a really quiet voice when they’re mad? God is very passive aggressive.

Don’t you see, Dragon-King? God YOUR LORD! Caused those other quakes to test your faith! If you were a true Christian like Tom you’d know that.

Look, I already understand that God is The Lord, that has nothing to do with Lordship Salvation. The one and only path to Salvation is to acknowledge your sin and ask for Jesus Christ to redeem you. But the problem is, do you ask Jesus to be your Savior, or do you acknowledge Jesus as your Lord and ask him to be your Savior. It’s, like totally different. It’s what make Ray Comfort a false prophet and David J. Stewart a shepherd of Lost Souls.

Only an all-powerful God could have arranged earthquakes to appear on a map in the shape of an upside-down-and-backwards Islamic crescent.

This after he just “proved” that earthquakes are caused by brush fires “heating up” rock formations.

But back to the thing that is central to Kov-hat’s point – Bohemian Grove.

Now you may have thought – Bohemian? San Francisco? Must be a bunch of patchouli-scented ghey-aborted pagan atheists. But the truth (not the troll) is much darker indeed.

This link is way TLDR – so here’s the bit I did read:

…Yes, as I show later, some wanna-be and has-been Republican politicians sometimes visit the Bohemian Grove, including future and former presidents of the United States, but they are there to demonstrate what wonderful human beings they are, to cultivate potential financial backers, or to brag about their past exploits…

…In fact, every person who has written seriously on the Bohemian Grove agrees: even though they provide evidence that there is a socially cohesive upper class in the United States, the activities at the Grove are harmless. The Grove encampment is a bunch of guys kidding around, drinking with their buddies, and trying to relive their youth, and often acting very silly…

There’s a link to the Case of the Hacked Hackery further down that page, and it’s a veritable fountain of grade-A high-test nitro-burnin’ Crazy. My favorite part, and what might be my most favoritest thing written on the Internet this year — “Exactly ‘half an hour’ in Heaven is equal to 20.83 years on Earth.” The best part about Tom is that your average insanely ranting Doomsday preachers put their predictions safely into the semi-distant future, but he’s got the Grand Shitstorm dropping onto our heads right now. It’s a rare first-hand chance to see the birth of a complicated justification for why the Rapture is going to be a little late.

Wow, Penh. Thanks for the link. That is some high octane lunacy. This is just the sort of thing I delight in giving to my priest… He turns the most amazing shade of purple!

I know that Iris is likely a fake, but I just loved the “bring your precious to ruin” bit at the end. That really made my day!

The Grove encampment is a bunch of guys kidding around, drinking with their buddies, and trying to relive their youth, and often acting very silly…

Exactly. It’s in fact a grand old American tradition, one that’s fallen by the wayside since the 1970s. Most of the fathers in my neighborhood as a kid belonged to the Masons or some variation thereof – Shriners, Elks, Moose, Eagles, Oddfellows, etc. My dad belonged to the Order of the Elks. The ubiquitous men’s lodge was parodied regularly in popular culture – the “Loyal Order of the Water Buffaloes” of Fred Flintstone, the “Raccoon Lodge” of Ralph Cramden, and the “Mystic Knights of the Sea” in Amos and Andy.

http://video.aol.com/partner/hulu/the-simpsons-stone-cutters-song/9BPs104xhPVvz8MDy-yCeofa2Lp7Qzvp

Serious, grown-up men wearing funny hats and calling themselves “Worshipful Master”, having their own “He-Man-Woman-Haters Club” to go drinking with the boys. It was a common fixture of middle-class American life. A frat house for men no longer in college.

The Bohemian Club is more of the same, with a very exclusive high-rolling membership.

I note that no one is keeping count of the number of earthquakes which take place in the sky. Just sayin’.

This is Grade A Wingnuttia!

Who knew that you could predict earthquakes by monitoring forest fires?

Because of South Beach’s toleration of gayness, I predict that god will cause an afternoon thunderstorm to pass over it before the summer is over. Go ahead, scoff.

Man, this guy is just singularly devoted to proving my Rorschach comparison more and more right.

I have seen California’s true face, felt what queers feel that makes them shriek like Democratic candidates in the night.

That author’s best quote:

Of course, it could be a total coincidence that my computer was hacked just before the completion of such a book. If you think that, then you’d probably think that all these points above, plus all the others in the book, were also mere coincidence.

Uhh, yeah?

That hat of his does a good job of covering the trap door in his forehead. You know, the one where the little wooden bird pops out.

As the late Heath Ledger has so ably demonstrated for us, crazy people are fun to watch.

He’s so ridiculous: it’s clear that at least three of those nigh-undetectable earthquakes were sent as punishment for weaving wool/linen blends, and one was obviously a warning to P. “Hap” Goodbury of Arcata not to invest in small-cap stocks. Meanwhile here on the peninsula, it was cool yesterday but warm today — coincidence?

“The book, Tribulation: 2008, included maps, photos, and was heavily footnoted with
other supporting documentation.”

And it has Pop-Ups!

I used to think that guy’s glassy stare was just from his fantasizing about getting a mouthwatering serving of The Decider’s corndog, but after reading that, I’m convinced it’s crystal meth.

Beginning in February of this year, until yesterday, I have been working on a book about Bible prophecy and the signs of the End Times. Recently, I foolishly released a preview of my work in a column. Late yesterday evening, 90 pages of book turned into gobbledygook on my computer. Mere coincidence?

Wow, God must really, really hate his book.

“This is exactly why I stopped posting here at Sadly, O!, and exactly why I won’t vote for a single Democrat in November’s elections.”

Iris–

O good rationale. We make fun of a transparently idiotic religious (or, probably, pseudo-religious) nut, whose “calculations” are as self-servingly ludicrous as his writing is pretentious, and you equate him with the “average blue-collar Bubba” (your term). He’s not. The average blue-collar Bubba doesn’t yammer on and on about the pattern of earthquakes in a strenuous effort to prove that God is drawing crescents for us all to heed.

And that’s “why” you’re not voting Democratic. Because the GOP at least has the decency not to make withering fun of their religious nutbars. No, instead what they do is, pretend to respect them while fleecing them of money and votes.

Unless, of course, you agree with Kovatch, and see the earthquakes as a message from God and a herald of the Tribulation. In which case, good luck to you. Politics is the least of your problems.

Alternate explanation of earthquakes: God thinks that gay sex is hawt. Whenever gay couples get married, she cranks up her vibrator.

If he has to rewrite it all, I’d suggest changing the name to Tribulation: 2009.

First the fires, then the quakes and finally the End Times will culminate in Will Shatner and his army of multi-colored toupees. Mark my words, the Tribble-ation is coming and there’s nothing you nor Cyrano Jones can do to stop it.

used to think that guy’s glassy stare was just from his fantasizing about getting a mouthwatering serving of The Decider’s corndog, but after reading that, I’m convinced it’s crystal meth.

Boston Charlie beat me to it.

Also, as I’ve noted previously, that man appears to have slit pupils. Coincidence? I think not!

He has to wear that large hat to hold all the crazy in.

End Times?
I still recall as a kid, hearing on the radio about how the Jehovah’s Witnesses “knew” that the world would end in 1974. Which they promptly amended to 1975 without batting an eye, when the Doomsday-year came & went.

What’s with these people and crescents? Soon Michie the Mad will be saying that croissants are a sign of creeping Izlamofashizm.

That hat of his does a good job of covering the trap door in his forehead. You know, the one where the little wooden bird pops out.

And you would never guess what pops out of the little bird’s mouth.
(hint: it’s a cat)

The Book was HACKED

That’s a link to his column on his website. He doesn’t present any actual evidence his PC was hacked. My guess is his HD is starting to fail. The epic book which was HACKED contained such gems as:

“There is a simple numeric formula for that political figure’s name. The formula comes out to 666.”

And really, who can argue with that? You can also join Tom’s Yahoo Group US Phone Force

“”The US Phone Force” is a talk-radio program, hosted by Tom Kovach [rhymes with “watch”]: soldier, inventor, author, activist.

Tom has written online — news articles, investigative columns, and opinion columns — for more than five years. He has interviewed newsmakers, lawmakers, and entertainers. Tom’s writings have appeared on prominent sites, such as WorldNetDaily, Renew America, and Military.com.

When not investigating terrorist incidents, aircraft disasters, and political corruption, Tom enjoys Bible study, hiking, and riding horses. (He has worked as a wrangler on two trail ranches!) Tom has also made 44 parachute jumps, 35 of them freefall.

The offer to host a network radio program came after the president of RBN heard about Tom’s pro-se lawsuit against Tennessee Governor Phil Bredesen.

Tom Kovach is the author of the book “Slingshot”. He invented the Kovach Klip, a device for the military. He is an official with the Constitution Party, and has run for Congress.”

He has 11 members so far.

Mmmmmmmmm chock full of wingnutty goodness!

Oh! BTW
Candy said
Also, as I’ve noted previously, that man appears to have slit pupils. Coincidence? I think not!

That is because of the studio lighting. The highlights for the spots tend to be on either side of the pupils giving the eyes an almost lizard look to them. The David Icke, “Reptilians gonna eat us” crowd have gone ape-shit over studio photos of Al Gore and of course Hillary that give that same illusion. They are convinced that Al and Hillary are shapeshifting reptoids. Of course, it doesn’t take that much, there is some serious stupid in this country.

…the camp of an elite Mesopotamian-demon-worshipping cult at the ’star.’

Y’know, I always wondered where Sunnydale was ….

Tom has also made 44 parachute jumps, 35 of them freefall successfully.

It’s only the last couple inches that hurt.

Tom’s pro-se lawsuit against Tennessee Governor Phil Bredesen.

There’s a word in legal circles for persons who mount pro se lawsuits against public figures. Hmmm, what’s the term again?

Oh, yeah. Losers.

No, But What If He’s Right?

If he’s right, these are the End Times, and all the fundies will soon disappear in the twinkling of an eye up to the clouds, where they will sit around forever playing golden harps. Meanwhile, all the faggots and furriners and everybody who doesn’t think faggots and furriners don’t deserve an eternity of torture will be sentenced, by an infinitely merciful angry man who died 2000 years ago, to an eternity of torture.

I think that’s what he’s getting at.

If he’s right.

You know, I like them odds.

Three cheers for apophenia! Also, anti-psychotics.

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked…” — Galatians 6:7

You, on the other hand…

Kids, I have told you time and again that it’s not nice to make fun of the mentally impaired. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

The man Tom is correct. Much has been prophesied for last Thursday, as revealed on the ForeTellowing Friday… or Monday, if it’s a race weekend. Tuesday at the latest! God smiles upon these antignostications, this we know, although there’s a slight chance it may be a smirk. Or gas. His ways are mysterious. We are attentive to his moods is the point. You’ll play along if you know what’s good for you.

That’s very funny. I used to look at this web site regularly when I moved from NYC back in 1996, since I was afraid of earthquakes then. (Now I’m just respectful.) That cluster always appeared. It was always a regular set of very small earthquakes right near Healdsberg, a dozen or more each time. This cluster is always present on the Northern California earthquake map, although of course, it doesn’t appear each time as a blurred crescent.

Anyway, not only is this person eagerly following a post hoc, ergo propter hoc fallacy, he’s basing it literally on unchanging data that is more or less unchanged in a decade or more. Using his evidence and his reasoning, we see that his god is banging on the earthquake buzzer like the soldier in Johnny Got His Gun (aka, the Metallica “One” movie), but we’re just too dumb to read the pattern. Now we finally know: the supreme diety’s highest priority for years now has been a relatively uninhabited spot in Napa valley, and not, say, millions of children dying of malaria and starvation around the world, a vicious war in Iraq, or a half-dozen brutal dictators.

If I were to worship a diety, I would want one that gives relatively clear messages, like a lightning bolt that would instantly tattoo on Mayor Newsome’s forehead “Seriously, no ass fucking.” In the absence of such clear messages, I recommend that we stay calm and resume our previous activities.

Aww, give him a break! The man loves Israel…

…in the exact same way that a ten-year-old with a sweet tooth loves the penny-candy selection at the local 7-11.

He invented the Kovach Klip, a device for the military.

Yeah, I suppose someone could call a clip-on strap extender “a device for the military.”

Okay. This has to be a parody. C’mon, nobody is that batshit crazy and still walking the streets without howling at the traffic.

You’ve not spent much time in the Southland, have you?

Just read this loon’s bio: “Awarded the Blue Beret.” Okay, I’m active duty AF, and I know what this means: It’s not like the Green Berets or the Maroon Berets (both Army: Green for Special Forces, maroon for Rangers). He was a cop. No offense meant to any current or past security forces: In Vietnam they did a helluva job helping defend bases. Today they are pulling duty in Iraq and Afghanistan alongside their Army, Marine, and even Navy equivalents in guarding bases.

But not this lunatic. He never saw a day of combat in his life, and instead masks his pathetic history with meaningless bullet statements like “awarded the Blue Beret.” To put this in context, I can say in all honesty that I’m an E7 Strategic Aircraft Maintenance Specialist, awarded the Joint Meritorious Service Medal for operations in Panama. What does this mean? I’m a Master Sergeant crew chief who went TDY to Panama during Bush I’s “War on Drugs.” That’s it.

But I have seen more combat that this twit apparenty: Not only did I do The Desert Shield/Storm Tour, but every freakin’ tour since. I’ve been shot at, scudded, and been away from my loved ones for more than 2 years pulling 13 godd*mn tours in the Middle East. The one thing I will NOT tolerate is some asshole trying to use his AF “cred” to boost his flat-out idiocy.

That is all. Carry on…

PS: Why oh why can’t these idiot right-wing sites have comments? I would so love to rhetorically burn this guy’s house to the ground…

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