Department Of Corrections, Special Offenders Unit

The corrections have been coming in after the entire right-blogosphere swallowed a phony story that the American Physical Society had changed its position on global warming. Ace of Spades HQ got in early (and they hate us a lot), so let’s visit them first:

Internal Disagreement at APS
—Gabriel Malor

Or, in other words, “External Disagreement About APS.” Titles are crucial; get a good title and you’re halfway there. Another one might be, “Who Can Say For Sure That There Isn’t Some Internal Disagreement at APS,” or possibly, “Are You There, God? It’s Me, Malor.”

On Thursday, I told you about the American Physical Society’s new-found recognition that there is a “considerable presence” of skepticism within the scientific community of anthropogenic global warming. (A day earlier than most other political blogs noticed, I might add; AOSHQ: where you either get the news first or months late!) APS is now presenting articles in its magazine and on its website which debate the question. But it turns out that APS is not quite ready to admit that the global warming consensus is crumbling.

In other words, a single newsletter by one of 39 subgroups of the APS featured ‘articles which debate the question,’ with a big disclaimer in red text at the top of the page — while the position of the APS has not changed even one tiny bit. In related news, it turns out that NASA is not quite ready to admit that the moon is made of cheese.

In just two days this thing has turned into an embarrassment for just about everyone.

That’s what I’m going to say the next time I’m walking down the street and slip in some poo and then wear it on my pants for two days. I’ll stand up and explain, “All this slipping in poo by just about everyone has really made a mess of just about everyone’s pants.”

See, that’s a sneaky way of spreading blame around without anyone knowing that it’s really you who are quote-unquote “to blame!” It’s like that poem:

This Is Just To Say

Just about everyone has eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
for breakfast.

Forgive just about everyone
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.

APS has “reaffirmed” its position on anthropogenic global warming;

Moreover, APS has “reaffirmed” its “position” on anthropogenic so-called “global warming.”

it turns out that the Physics and Society magazine and online forum is the only component that wants to have this debate.

I.e., when he originally linked to the Forum on Physics and Society, he didn’t even know what he was linking to.

APS’s controlling body is taking action to straighten things out. As a result, I’d say the organization as a whole is about to lose some credibility:

Wow. Just wow.

What follows is a rapidly ginned-up controversy in which Lord Monckton, the wingnut and imposter (Monckton falsely claims to have shared the Nobel Prize with Al Gore, and to be a member of Parliament) who authored the disclaimed, red-texted paper, and (get this) who apparently fed the fake story to DailyTech in the first place, complains that he was treated unfairly. We also find Monckton cc-ing emails to Jonah Goldberg.*

Yes indeed, someone is about to lose some credibility. But as the wingnuts know, if they howl and carry on with enough wounded abjection, some observers will think that the loser in this affair is the American Physical Society.

Tim Lambert at Deltoid has some details on Monckton’s paper, and on the op-ed in The Australian that Mallor cited as his other piece of evidence that, in his words, the ‘global warming hoax is slowly coming apart.’ For more context, here’s our original Shorter, with cites and links.

Initial whoopsie! score: 6 out of 10.
Adjustments: +2 for zeal and boasting.
Punk-out score: 8 out of 10.
Adjustments: -1 because Monckton is providing effective smoke screen.
Total: 7.5 out of 10.

Next customer: Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds.

Update: It would only be right to assist in the burdens of our right-wing colleagues, so instead of just pointing and laughing like lesser souls might do, we will also help supply them with appropriate corrections.

Ace of Spades HQ:


“Regarding the story, “Blar-har-har! The Wheels Are Coming Off The Global-Warming Fraudmobile” in our edition of 7/16/08, we were too eager to credit a story that the APS has changed its position on bla-bla, and whatever it said, and we will be more careful to evaluate such claims in the future — especially when they originate with the titanically crapulent Christopher “The Duke and/or Dauphin” Monckton or Michael “The Trasher” Asher, who have burned us once and shall not burn us again. We are sorry for the etc., kthxbai. >^..^< " They can use that if they want to, but they can't change the 'kthxbai' or the emoticon kitty.

* Correction: The email came from the anti-environmental activist Benny Peiser.


Comments: 38


I’m far too drunk to keep up. What the hell is goin on here? A new thread on Satyrday abend?


Oh, it’s the fake global-warming story. It has reaped an abundance of riches.


Wow! Just wow! Let me see if I have this straight. Ace of Wankers disagrees with the position of the preeminent organization of professional physicists in the US and is pissed off because he was to stupid to understand that they had not changed their position. So who is going to lose their credibility in this argument? I think I need a stiff shot of cyanide and a sharp razor now.


More Creed please! It is Saturday night after all!

Doctor Missus Marita

Slim Shady, Saturday night maybe all right for fightin’, but it is not all right for Creed.


Thanks for putting it down “for the record.” Maybe a future civilization will note it, if we have one.


Next customer: Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds.

By the time this all shakes out, you’re going to need one of those signs ala McDonald’s: “Over 1 million served” or something of the like.


Shorter Gavin M: Ace of Spazz is an ignorant slut.


Wow just wow is right, and if I hold my breath until Ace admits he was wrong I will turn blue and die.


Slim Shady said,
July 20, 2008 at 5:53

Wait a minute – are you the real Slim Shady?

Doctor Missus Marita

Must be. All of the other so-called Slim Shadys are clearly just imitating.


Here’s Phil “Mr. Logic” of

… important news on the Climate front: the American Physical Society has commenced a public debate over whether global warming is caused by man. This constitutes a long-overdue admission that the alleged consensus among scientists concerning man’s contribution to climate change does not exist, at least not within the ranks of physicists…


“As a result, I’d say the organization as a whole is about to lose some credibility:”

I assume that Ace (Tag-Line: Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back to nuke Iran.) also believes that coyotes have lost credibility over their continued support of Acme Hardware, not matter how many embarrassing mishaps ensue do to their poor quality.

Do you suppose ol’ Ace-y is tired of people calling him ‘Mr. Lucas’?


APS has “reaffirmed” its position on anthropogenic global warming;

So pollution is caused primarily by cow farts, but global warming–assuming it exists–is caused by human farts?


All the latest right wing crapblogger fuck-up is missing is Jamil Hussein coming out against the global warming “hoax” along with the 3 million physicists who aren’t sure about this Al Gore-created BS.


They haven’t lost any credibility with me.


I’ve been out to dinner and am on my way to bed, but I just wanted to share something I saw on the way to the restaurant.

On the back of a pickup truck, right across the tailgate, in big bold stick-on reflective letters of the sort you purchase at Menard’s, nestled amongst a few W and Bush/Cheney stickers, was this gem:


But. One T.

The pardner wanted to drive up next to them and ask, “But what? Kiss my country but . . . what?” We debated the wisdom of this action, and decided the odds were good that on a Saturday night the driver and his passenger would be both likkered up and packing. We decided to err on the side of caution.

This is not off topic so much as “wingnuts are stupid” evidence always has its place on Sadly, No! And yes, I’ve been drinking. Why do you ask?

Good night, sweet Sadlies!

Shell Goddamnit

“What Doctor Missus Marita said!”

I laugh, because seeing that video reminded me that Elton John was hired to be the uh… headliner at a recent Biker Week in Sturgis or whatever they call that thing. I never did hear who made THAT decision or what horrible shit must have rained down on them for it. Nine million do-rag and leather-fringe costumed Harley & Harley-clone riders… and Elton John. The following year someone sold a few million t-shirts with Elton’s mug and a giant red circle & slash.

This year, they have Kiss.


Ace of Spades hates you? After you redesigned their puky logo into something kickass? Typical right wing gratitude. None.


The William Carlos Williams is of such quality, the fact that it still existed free and clear until now astounds.


Perfect, Some Guy. Any chance we can get Gavin to use an image of Ace Rimmer skysurfing on a crocodile for future representations of AOS?


If this comes to pass, it would make shitting in San Francisco both a joy and a solemn duty.

San Francisco eyes naming sewage plant after George W. Bush
Published: Saturday, July 19, 2008

SAN FRANCISCO — San Francisco voters, never thrilled with George W. Bush, may give the U.S. president a parting shot in November by naming a sewage plant after him.

A ballot measure aimed at deriding the Republican president by renaming the city’s newest sewage plant qualified Thursday after organizers submitted 7,168 signatures to the local Department of Elections, officials said.

“What we are doing is satire, part of the proud tradition of skewering political figures that dates back to the Revolution,” organizers said on their Web site,

The site, which calls itself the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco, shows the presidential seal with an eagle holding two toilet plungers.

Tony Flores, acting assistant manager for the San Francisco Public Utilities Commission, which owns and operates the plant, said the name change for the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant, would cost about $50,000.


The perfect place to put your used coke and booze.


A further misleading claim about that shit Monckton – In DailyTech they claim that:

Monckton, who was the science advisor to Britain’s Thatcher administration,

Sadly, No! He was not THE science adviser to to Britain’s Thatcher administration. Actually, any fool knows that Margaret Thatcher was a trained scientist (read Chemistry at Somerville College, Oxford) and would be very unlikely to turn to Christopher Monckton (read Classics at Churchill College, Cambridge) for official scientific advise.

For those too dumb, like trolls and wingnuts, to know what Classics means, let’s turn to Churchill College, Cambridge’s own website:

Classics is the study of social, cultural and political life in ancient Greece and Italy. It is an unusual and challenging subject in that it incorporates elements of several disciplines, including language and literature (including linguistics), history, archaeology, art history and philosophy. Moreover, the course gives you the opportunity to explore not just the classical past of Greece and Rome, but also the pre-classical, including the Minoan and Mycenaean civilisations of Bronze Age Greece and the Etruscan civilisation of Italy.

Not a lot of science there then but quite a lot of old bull!

Gary Ruppert, With The Mask Off

The fact is, the jury IS still out on climate change, and Al Gore is fat and dumn. You have no facts , we do: the fact is, there is no warming. All you “data” was collected by biased instruments and scientists with an agenda against free enterprise and prosperity, you want the UN to take our property and write our laws. Not on our watch. Here in the Heartland, the blue helmets will be turned back by patriots.


Bloody hell – the fact is Gary Ruppert has gone all Japanese on us!

All you “data”


I give this post 8/10

+3 for using WC Williams.



They can use that if they want to, but they can’t change the ‘kthxbai’ or the emoticon kitty.

Look, you have to back off the outrageous preconditions for negotiations or the Ace of Spades regime is just going to go ahead with the manufacture and stockpiling of fluffernutter sandwiches.


See, all of this “research” and “citing credible sources” and “fact-checking” and “having some clue as to what you’re talking about” and all — it’s hard work. It’s like what some people — what are they called? Oh yes, actual professional reporters and journalistsdo for a living. Nah, I don’t wanna hear none o’ that “blar blar journalists suck! they’re all STUUPIT and lazy whores!” Yes yes many are. Many (Seymour Hersh) are not. This is what happens when any ol’ narcissistic pinheaded bully with a keyboard (AoS) decides he’s suddenly an “alternative journalist” or what the fuck ever and that the gift of his superior wit and intellect is so great he needn’t bother with such trivialities as actual journalistic routines and standards. Useless jackbag.

Blogosphere/alternative journalism is what Gavin does, Mr. Bacon-Playdough Man. You’re so talentless and intellectually lazy you can scarcely be bothered to create the mud pies you throw around with such carelessness. S,No-sians perform valuable public service by deflecting and/or performing precision clean-up in the wake of your bullshit-mongering. Thank heavens someone’s willing to do it.


… American Physical Society has commenced a public debate over whether global warming is caused by man… blah blah blah the alleged consensus among scientists concerning man’s contribution to climate change …blah blah

You know, I’ve long wondered: Who is this man, and why doesn’t someone make him stop?


For people who love to say “Shame!” they seem completely incapable of feeling it.


I wonder if Herr AOS-mensch liked my supplementary trollage – I just couldn’t resist quoting the Biblical verse that reads “As a dog returns to its vomit…” with such a golden opportunity.

Yo, Ace, if the shoe fits, suck on it.

If you want to really pwn these rat bastards, I cordially invite anyone up for inflicting some semiotic ultraviolence at wingnuts’ expense to direct them to a little 2004 report entitled “An Abrupt Climate Change Scenario and Its Implications for United States National Security”(pdf file) – (warning: very real & very scary shit) courtesy of those notorious lefty weed-huffing lesbo hippies, The Pentagon.

The Great Liberal Putsch has won! The USAF wonks have gargled the “Scientific Fact” Kool-Aid & are now honorary homo-islamo-America-haterz!!!111!1

Yes, the children of America will soon be forced by law to sell one another heroin & learn Cantonese by studying Mao’s Little Red Book – because even the DOD is part of the diabolical social-engineering conspiracy to make Al Gore the new Supreme Liberal Fascist Reichsfuhrer of a helpless mankind!


Humble apologies for the chumped link – that Pentagon report is available in full, right here.


LOL, Ace Of Fail deleted my comment … & got another one as a reward.
I love the smell of scorched wingnuts in the afternoon … smells like … Doritos.
Up as of 7:08 Spade-Time – wonder how long THIS one will survive?


From before most of us were born, Harvey Kurtzman delivers the last word on avoiding embarrassment.

[Link to “Hey, Look!” strip about a man who slips and falls.]


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