It’s official – Creed is your house band. I hope you’re happy with yourselves.

BTW Brad, I have located the greatest music video ever.

EvAr I TELL YOU!!!1!

I can’t believe how strongly you guys are closing out this incredible work week.

I would say that Sadly is a truly vibrant online community, but I’ve heard that “vibrant community” is just a euphemism for “place with lots of Mexicans,” so I’ll have to come up with something else.

Yep. For me, Creed are the new Rick Roll.

But seriously, this band, which I swear isn’t Creed, is totally awesome.

Why ya gotta be so cruel?

JUMP!

JUMP!!!

Damn!

Sacreedfied?

Hey, did the posts ever stop in that years-long Creed debate?

Yes. Creed still sucks.

(We’ve come to a complete stop in the Irisgate/This year in history thread, FWIW)

The sucking suckiness just will not stop sucking!

Stapp the insanity!

Here, have a palette cleanser.

You brought this on yourselves.

I know nothing about Creed except through this site.

And, until this post, I have never actually listened to them.

They do, in fact, suck quite profusely.

The musical equivalent of Thomas Sowell.

I fail to see the problem with Creed. They’re a rock band. Nothing wrong with that. Heartfelt lyrics, rocking guitars, appeal to the Bubbas across the country…gee, maybe a lesson for the Democratic Party these days?

Not even 10 seconds go by before the stupid guitarist has to rest his left foot on a phantom stage monitor.

You’re not Steve Harris!

Seriously. If you want to see a band that grinds Creed into dust, go here.

Oh, fake Iris.

Never change.

The fact is, Creed deserves to be kicked into the bottomless pit of SPAARTAAAAAHHHH!!!

The thing I like most about Creed is their swinecerity.

Yes. You certainly have established your creedentials this week. I am increedulous with your increedably good work. I concreedulate you, sirs!

Not even 10 seconds go by before the stupid guitarist has to rest his left foot on a phantom stage monitor.

You’re not Steve Harris!

That’s six degrees of WIN!

Creed was never on the Colbert Show.

Know what made that song more awesome? Low-quality CGI rock formations.

I’ve always felt sorry for the Creed drummer/guitarist (their bass player, if memory serves, abandoned ship right when the band got uber-popular). Stapp is a hypocrite, a hack, and a jackass, but those other two guys seem pretty stand-up. I could picture the guitarist in some other life hanging around some shop and earning his keep by teaching kids “row row row your boat” and playing in a bar cover band. And I respect that. Way more than being an instrument for promoting Stapp’s asshattery.

Now that I’ve said that, I looked him up on Wikipedia and found this picture of his new band. I take back everything good I said. What a tool.

(We’ve come to a complete stop in the Irisgate/This year in history thread, FWIW)

Oh have we? 2035 asked archly.

Don’t you know that Obama’s theme song is Flo & Eddie’s Livin’ In The Jungle?

Here’s the lyrics (from memory since I’m at work):
= = = = = = = = = =
We’re all livin in the jungle
We’re all livin in the jungle
And we got nowhere to go – we’re all
Shootin whites
Stabbin whites
Snortin whites…
Gunnin down whites!

{Musical interlude…Stops the song, speaks to audience}
What you laughin at? What’s so damn funny?
This is what you call your ‘African percussion’
Why, you’d pay eight bucks to see War do this shit.
Malo!
Santana!
Earth, Wind, and Fire!
Osibisa!
Helen Reddy!

Helen Reddy? Awwwwww….

[chants]
Death to whitey, poor white trash
Kick his ass, smoke his hash
Ball his woman, ball his son
Death to whitey! Right On!

[Right on whitey you jive-ass motherfucker.]

Death to whitey! Burn the honky! [Right on, right on.]
Death to whitey! Burn the honky! [Right on, right on.]
= = = = = = = = =

Hahahahahahaha!
You hurt me!

Incidentally, the first scant seconds of the song reminded me of the beginning of Death in the Park.

Ah, that’s much better, isn’t it?

I did not mean to start a whole big Creed thing again. I was just having my little joke. I blame Hoosier X for it.

Be nice to me. I have to go work with wingnuts now!

(Of course, I work the shift that does the real work and cleans up after everybody. Not so many wingnuts on my shift. They can’t handle the real work.)

Oh God not another Stapp infection.

Look, everyone knows Creed sucks.* If you want a real debate about the suckitude* of Creed you have to pair it with some other equally sucktacular* thing. Allow me to demonstrate:

Creed sucks* as hard as Lenny Kravitz.

Discuss.

*Not in a good way.

When I saw the trailers for “The Happening,” I figured that the twist would be that Creed had chosen Lenny Kravitz as its new frontman and released a joint with Maroon 5.

Yes, the Stapplococcus is back again!
Hey, I lasted more than a minute this time – I think I may be developing an immunity to the virus.
Can’t envy such a sell-out … the thought of hearing myself sounding like that makes my hair stand on end.

Oh, if only those computer graphics were live action.

If there is any justice, Stapp will get jumped in an alley by Eddie Vedder. That would be so many kinds of awesome, especially if someone filmed it.

Arggghhhh! Here I thought I was cathcing up, what with the poncy English Viscount and his global warming denialism. I was on page 2?!?!?!

Ah well, nothing new here. It’s a well established internet tradition that Creed sucks.