Shorter Ace Of Spades HQ
Posted on July 18th, 2008 by Gavin M.
Above: Blogger of the Year, 2008 Conservative Political Action Conference
Global Warming Hoax is Slowly Coming Apart
—Gabriel Malor
- A person whose credentials I didn’t check1 has written an opinion column with scientific claims that I can’t understand2 that totally disproves global warming, like totally for real this time.
- Ha ha! OMG, nice work, Malor! This blockbuster opinion column is true, and so-called “scientists” are fakers who do not understand how science works (der, it must be objective and rely on data).
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
1 David Evans is a computer programmer who worked as a consultant for the Australian Greenhouse Office.
2 Cf. The Australian has a long history of publishing sloppy and mutually irreconcilable anti-global-warming editorials.
I will use a height proxy to determine my height. I will toss away the direct measurements as biased, incomplete, or hopelessly inaccurate, and instead interpolate/estimate my height based upon my weight.
I shudder to think what else he plans on measuring.
Well sure. Of course.
‘Cause, see, greenhouse gasses don’t trap energy. That’s just crazy talk.
And come ON now. We can pump as much carbon into the atmosphere as we want, hey, it’s not ever going to be a problem.
And those category 4 storms, fires and melting icecaps? Co-inky-dinky. Shit happens, y’know?
Now, if you want to know why I really don’t want the planet to be able to sustain life in two generations, well, I don’t really know the answer to that one. I just hate liberals, and I’m willing to sacrifice my family’s future on the altar of that hatred.
Got a problem with that?
mikey
I just hate liberals, and I’m willing to sacrifice my family’s future on the altar of that hatred.
Oh please, Mikey. Like Ace is ever going to reproduce. He has no reason to worry about future generations.
The glorious fires of Rome only serve to help me see my fiddle strings better.
Computer programmer and consultant!?! Well, this definitely renders the entire piece worthless.
From the Ace of Spades article:
That inspires confidence.
Dude, someone totally needs to email Ace that Japanese scientists working on the T.A.R.D.I.S. program have found a way to reverse the polarity of the flux capacitors on the warp coils to solve the global warming problem once and for all. $5 says he believes it.
Computer programmer and consultant!?! Well, this definitely renders the entire piece worthless.
Yes, you’re right. Clearly someone who modeled some systems for the scientists is in a better position to gauge what’s going on than the scientists themselves.
Next time I need some data interpreted, I won’t bother doing it myself. I’ll just ask the guy who calibrates our instruments what he thinks. That should work out fine.
The Australian has a long history of publishing sloppy and mutually irreconcilable anti-global-warming editorials
Of course it does, the Australian is a Murdoch rag.
Yes, you’re right. Clearly someone who modeled some systems for the scientists is in a better position to gauge what’s going on than the scientists themselves.
Next time I need some data interpreted, I won’t bother doing it myself. I’ll just ask the guy who calibrates our instruments what he thinks. That should work out fine.
Yeah! I mean, a computer programmer is like a glorified instrument calibrator, right? He should just keep his opinion to himself!
Yeah! I mean, a computer programmer is like a glorified instrument calibrator, right? He should just keep his opinion to himself!
Perhaps you underestimate the skill and training of some of the instrument techs working today.
The point isn’t that his opinion can’t possibly be valid, it’s that he’s not an expert in the field, and Ace jumped all over his piece hooting and hollering, even though Ace has (unless I’m sorely mistaken) insufficient understanding of the science to properly evaluate the claims he’s making.
If you don’t understand the science, it’s not the brightest thing to side with the contrarian outsider rather than the people who are actually credentialed in the field, just because you don’t want to agree with what the experts have to say. Ace isn’t demonstrating why he thinks the points this guy makes are valid, he’s just parroting them, and acting like something has been proven. Seriously, you’d think he’d have a little capacity for embarrassment.
Give it ten years. Shit, maybe five. The deniers will be claiming they were onboard the whole time. They’ll probably invent a way that they thought of it first.
Oh, and RH Potfry? Either italicize quotes or put them in quotation marks. But only if you want your posts to make sense.
RH Potfry: If you’re still having trouble with the point that’s being made here, just look at it this way – a typical computer programmer’s competence as a climatologist is about equivalent to your talent as a humorist.
I mean, a computer programmer is like a glorified instrument calibrator, right? He should just keep his opinion to himself!
He should at least remember the First Rule of Programmers: Garbage In, Garbage Out.
(It would be nice if programmers could also be introduced to the concept “First, do no harm”… but then what would the rest of us do for amusement?)
computer programmer and consultant!?! well, this definitely renders the entire piece worthless.
just the “consultant” part.
Not just “a Murdoch rag”, … the single most concentrated sample of banjo-plucking wingnuttery outside Malkin. For anyone not yet able to enjoy this publication, Google anything by these two…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janet_Albrechtsen
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Milne
Austrailia, the country that has given the world……
Murdoch and uumm, aahhh, eerrr, kylie minouge and fosters beer!
We have a saying in NZ “every kiwi that emigrates to Aussie raises the IQ of both countries.”
I have it on good authority that the New Zealanders’ word for ‘pimp’ may shock you.
The Australian is a shocker. When John Howard was Prime Minister, it was affectionately known as the Government Gazette.
Its a loss-leader for Murdoch so that he can have a national broadsheet. Think the Washington Times.
Glenn Milne is an absolute shocker, who last year ran drunkenly on stage during the presentation of a journalist award because he didn’t like the recipient…
And in response to Andy, I’d like to know how many Australians actually migrate to New Zealand….
lock up yer sheep, I have velcro gloves on…
aussiemurf
a few, mostly people from the gold coast escaping the kiwis 🙂
Oh please, Mikey. Like Ace is ever going to reproduce. He has no reason to worry about future generations.
If he does reproduce, want to bet it’ll be via pod?
And in response to Andy, I’d like to know how many Australians actually migrate to New Zealand….
They don’t. We require migrants to spell “:immigrate” on their application form, which tends to keep the Aussies out.
You LIE-bruls will believe anything scientists tell you, evolution, gravity, global warming, whatever. We in The Heartland no better. It was cold in Montana this Winter. I had to shovel snow sometimes. Fat Lenny, the biker down at the Blood Clot Bar who wears the assless chaps? He had to wear sweat pants, it was that cold. So don’t go telling me about how global warming is killing the whales (if it hasn’t gotten the pelicans, the whales are probably just fine) or filling the air with propane or whatever it is you’re always worrying about. President-For Life-Bush says that the issue needs more study and he’s so smart that he got his dad to buy him two very fancy college degrees, so maybe you should just shut up and let him handle it, right? If you commies get too warm you can always fan yourselves with your copy of the little red book by Meow Say Tongue, that’d be COOL, right daddy-o? Or maybe your beatnik berets will shade you from the ozone rays coming in from the full moon, or whatever it is that makes you crazy enough to believe Al BORE!!
“We in The Heartland no better. ”
Epic.
Because in Kiwi, immigrate is spelled uhmuhgruht.
RH Potfry said,
July 18, 2008 at 7:35
No quotes, italics, or blockquote. The fact is, we right-wing types suck at using the internets, and you liberals arigantly refuse to teach us.
Evans is an electrical engineer, who returned to write the FullCAM program for the AGO when he lost money in the stock market.
Nevertheless, he felt that computer modeling was nonsense. From Evans’ essay in the noted, peer reviewed Australian newspaper which Ace quotes:
Okay, if we send up balloons to measure atmospheric variables, and if my simplistic understanding of global warming means that there seems like there ought be extra hotness over the tropics, then scientists who mutter about other factors like atmospheric mixing and water vapor are just crazy people who ‘believe anything’.
That’s how it should work, right? If CO2 is a greenhouse gas, you ought to just throw a small number of balloons into the air over the tropics, measure the temperature way up there, and if it’s hotter, then CO2 does in the atmosphere what pretty much everyone says, and if it’s not hotter, boom, no CO2-related global warming.
Those crazy people at NASA thought it might be interesting to observe directly the variability in Outgoing Longwave (Infrared) Radiation, which is the only way Earth can vent back into space the energy (heat) it receives from the Sun. You can look at their pictures directly.
Climate scientists have been dealing with this. One of the basic problems with making gigantic conclusions from radiosonde data is that there aren’t many of them being sent up, for all kinds of reasons you might imagine about sending up sensitive measuring balloons over equatorial tropical zones.
So, Ace’s little example of him now being 6’0″ instead of 5’8″ because those fancy pants gay lazy liberal scientists hate real data and instead use their ivory tower la-di-da ‘models’ and ‘proxies’ — it’s a great example.
Ace compares his height, which is on most people pretty easy to measure, with atmospheric local conditions, which are difficult and expensive to measure.
But what if instead of Ace remaining still and it being possible to use a tape measure or the like, you decided to measure his height instead by scattering a small number of photoelectric beam detectors at different heights at different points on his sidewalk from the front door to the mailbox, and the particular detectors he walked by indicated a maximum height of 3’5″?
What, are you going to ignore the direct data in favor of your fancy pants latte sippin’ theories that somehow you got to like somehow consider the possibility that Ace might actually be taller than 3’5″? Dude, we just measured, and he’s lower than 4 feet tall, that’s it.
Nevertheless, even though no one has really got any good evidence or much less a ‘model’ thingy that the Sun is somehow heating the Earth more now, it should be good enough for you global warming freaks for Ace to mention that there’s a change in sunspot activity, and that obviously means something, and no one should have to do any gay fancy pants modeling or whatnot.
Still, a fundamental question remains: If the only method by which the Earth can release heat energy back into space (cool) is when infrared photons leave the top of the atmosphere for space, and if CO2 and other ‘greenhouse’ gases slow the rate of escape of IR photons into space, and if there’s no evidence the rate of energy received by the Earth from the Sun has also slowed, then how does the Earth as a unit not heat more rapidly?
There has been some effort to re-christen the OZ the Opposition Organ (OO) since its status as teh Government Gazette (GG) became redundant last year. It hasn’t really taken off, though. Maybe S,N!ers could offer marketing suggestions or alternatives?
Albrechtsen, I swear. It’s like suggesting Jonah Goldberg ought to be taken seriously as a political commentator.
Austrailia, the country that has given the world……
Murdoch and uumm, aahhh, eerrr, kylie minouge and fosters beer!
Yah, we gave the world Fosters so we’d be able to keep the decent stuff for ourselves (try Coopers, a still-family-owned brewery here in South Aus, or some of the boutique Tasmanian beers).
Oh, and some incredibly bloody good wines, including a couple of shiraz’ that will knock your hat off.
On the music front, we’re also responsible for TISM, whose music is exemplified by album titles like “Great Trucking Songs of the Renaissance” and songs such as Everyone else has had more sex than me and What are ya? (You’re a wanker), and of course (He’ll never be an ) Ol’ man River. Funny guys, kind of political satire but with a beat and you can dance to it.
Oh, and Nick Cave.
So I think we can be forgiven for Kylie. But Murdoch, yeah, you got us on that one.
El Cid, I love you. Really. I hope you’ll forgive me saying that. Just that a comment combining fancy-pants science with sarcasm just makes me go all quivery.
Just thought I’d mention it.
WordPress didn’t want me to tell you.
My goodness, Just Alison, what a great way to begin the long work day. Thank you.
Any time, baby. Now I’m off to have a cigarette…
The fact is, the liberal agenda to stop growth and prosperity through fake science has been exposed. Most people hear in the Heartland are on to you eleitists, and resent you attempt to scare us into destroying our ecomony and USA power. The numbers don’t make sense, and only liberal bias and the media is fuelling Green-ness. This must stop and we must not be punked by so-called scientuists who are ntohing but Dem shils with their hands out for more biased research funds.
I’m telling you, we need to start taking gravity VERY seriously so those assholes will go out on the ledges and prove us wrong.
Most people hear in the Heartland are on to you eleitists
That’s why we call it the heart-land, because the brain isn’t here.
Oh, and some incredibly bloody good wines, including a couple of shiraz’ that will knock your hat off.
If it knocks your hat off, yr doin it wrng
So tough guy Ace of Spades is acually a short, pudgy guy?
Heh. Indeedy!
Now I understand where he’s coming from.
Uh wait a tick.
“Just Alison, without Qetesh said,
July 18, 2008 at 12:49
Oh, and some incredibly bloody good wines, including a couple of shiraz’ that will knock your hat off.”
Oh and thanks for helping fuel that fad. Frankly, if I wanted wine that knocked my hat off, I’d drink md20/20.
“On the music front, we’re also responsible for TISM, whose music is exemplified by album titles like “Great Trucking Songs of the Renaissance” and songs such as Everyone else has had more sex than me and What are ya? (You’re a wanker), and of course (He’ll never be an ) Ol’ man River. Funny guys, kind of political satire but with a beat and you can dance to it.
Oh, and Nick Cave.”
TISM? You mean those wanking tossers who are but a pale imitation of The Residents with any of the actual musical talent to get in the way?
Oh yeah, they’re hilarious.
Nick Cave, just not my cup of tea thank you very much. I won’t slam him. Lots of folks enjoy him, apparently. Then again, masochists need music too don’t they?
“So I think we can be forgiven for Kylie. But Murdoch, yeah, you got us on that one.”
Yes, we do. Now stay gotten and quit it with the hat knocking wine and the bad cover bands.
And, as Triumph the rubber dog would intone, “I kid, I kid…”
And this time on topic, it’s a signal feature of the new rightards that anything they identify as “librul” needs to slammed. I just don’t get it with global climate change. I know it’s part of the great librul conspiracy but it would seem to be a good conservative principal that, uh, acting to preserve our environment would mean that their grandchildren could rape it more effectively.
Just sayin.
fucking pelicans
fucking pelicans
Wouldn’t the wings get in the way?
Back in the day, Coopers Best Extra Stout was a special reward for me.
Sometimes I miss drinking.
If the misspelling of “invisable” accordian is not fixed immediately, I will write a very angry letter to the authorities.
Seriously, if Ace is being mocked for teh dumn, that’s ironic or something.
All right, I had to blog on Evans’ stupid article. Here are the details of some of the things he got wrong.
Nim- You are not aware of all internet traditions.
Also, it’s accordion, not accordian. Yikes.
(Is misspelling accordion an internet tradition too, or does the misspelling mandate only apply to more commonplace words?)
Also, it’s accordion, not accordian. Yikes.
Are there no internet traditions at all any more? Hitlers are running wild in the threads!
More like Inadvisable hoagie
Nim- You are not aware of all internet traditions.
I must have seen about 500 of those “invisable” whatever lolcats, and I never noticed it was deliberately missplet in all of them.
Some internet traditions are too subtle for me.
There’s a simple reason why these idiots can’t find anyone with real credentials to back up their denials: the facts, as always, are biased! On the course to getting one’s PhD in one of the geosciences, to say nothing of doing enough research to become a respected expert, a researcher is positively bombarded with coastal elitist facts. This homosexual marriage-hating information corrupts their brains and turns them into latte-sipping appeasers hell-bent on destroying economic prosperity, and yes, even USA power!
This is why it is necessary to turn to crackpots who have no idea what they’re talking about in order to find out the real, masculine truth, which is that unborn fetuses and illegal wiretapping are keeping our planet cool.
Yeah, you know who I 1st heard about “global warming” (I prefer climate change in most cases) from? My elderly Aunts/Great Aunts on my Georgia-country-girl side of the family. They were constantly abuzz when I was a child in Atlanta praying that we’d get that one snow of the year, telling me that in their childhoods (teens/20s) they used to skate on the frozen ponds and walked to school in the snow. They’re the ones who told me this very early on, and everyone notices it unless they’re drinking some very RED Kool-Aid.
My 88 year old Grandma is sitting right here next to me and says that Paulding Co. (right west of Atlanta) had the ponds frozen over and that they’d skate on them, whereas in my childhood we kids would hope & pray for it to dip down to 32 which it did about twice a year. And they trudged through snows that came and stayed 4-5 times per year, nothing like the one snow day we usually got when I was a kid and now there’s just a chance of one snow per year there.
Are these idiots going to go up against everyone in “The Greatest Generation” who have seen the climate change before their very eyes? Apparently so.
This Goldberg post is priceless: http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=NzAwZWVhMjFmZDc0NDMxMzg3OWY1M2Y4OTU5YmVhMTA=
The APS has doubts about global climate change! Actually, I just don’t know how to read a disclaimer!
Oh, and a big P.S., I’m in South Tampa under the flight patterns for CENTCOM/MacDill AFB presently and it is deafening. Completely deafening. They have fighters in and out several times per day as well as the giant USAF 747 looking planes in & out. But no one here thinks this is even remotely normal and it has been going on for about 2 weeks. They seem to not be massing the planes but rather practicing maneuvers, but they are so low and so loud you must cover your ears, even inside. There’s another fighter. Ok, and another one. Must be circling…I’ll look up which type.
Everyone living here permanently says that this is almost unprecedented, this amount of flight traffic. Just thought I’d report that here. You know, before I go deaf from the damned things…LOL.
My weight is 170 or so …
Maybe on the moon, chipmunk cheeks. There’s some science for ya!
Probably just having a large exercise at MacDill. If something strange was going on you wouldn’t hear about it until after the fact.
For certain large values of “or so …”, young Master Curl.
Thank you, El Cid. Your patient explanation is far more than the ululating Ace deserves, and although eloquent, it is likely more than he would be able to comprehend. Us grownups appreciate that kind of thing, however.
Zounds! Egad! Gadzooks!
In another life I wrote finite element analysis software for modeling groundwater. I had no idea what the results meant – the hydrologists had to explain it to me. And I wrote the fucking programs! Oh I understood the mathematics perfectly. It was what it meant in the real world that I was clueless. Even after several years, I still couldn’t make my own interpretations. That guy is a fekkin idjit.
The deniers show a remarkable inability to adapt. The undeniable proof of evolution will be their extinction. Deliciously ironic, innit?
TISM? You mean those wanking tossers who are but a pale imitation of The Residents with any of the actual musical talent to get in the way?
Oh yeah, they’re hilarious.
The Residents? Tell me you’re kidding.
Seriously, I don’t even have national pride invested in this.
I don’t want to get involved in an EnZed/OZ flamewar, but I do have to state my undying love for both of the Finn brothers.
That is all.
I too fall at the feet of El Cid’s commentatering and pointlessly taunting Canadians is all well and good but trans-Tasman Sea flame wars are an internet tradition I just can’t get enough of. But where is Herr Smut these days?
I’ve been wondering about that myself.
I’ve been wondering about that myself.
He was asking about Scottish pubs so perhaps he’s there hunting for fried akvavit.
Poster on the global warming “hoax” thread:
For the life of me I can’t figure it out. Why are guys in the women haters club so unlucky when it comes to relationships and dating and stuff?
I think Herr Clyde is traveling. I recall, way back when we planning the PDX S,N! fest, his mentioning something about possibly being able to make it to the Oregon Brewers Festival or maybe it was the Portland International Beerfest, for one day. The latter, by the way, opens today! Pints oif Pilsner Urquell for three bux. Yumm.
[sorry, Doc Missus, but I must mention this given the question]
I’ve been to both OZ and NZ and loved ’em both. I find the infighting between the two countries cute. But then like they say, the lower the stakes, the dirtier the fighting.
Oh and Midnight Oil rocked.
“I believe the only reason we’re in a cooling period is as a result to the icy cold demeanor of American women.”
New Wingnut Anthem:
“SHE’S SO COLD
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)
She’s so cold she’s so cold
She’s so cold cold cold
Like a tombstone
She’s so cold, she’s so cold
she’s so cold cold cold like an ice cream cone
She’s so cold she’s so cold
I dare not touch her my hand just froze…
She’s so cold, she’s so cold, cold, she’s so c-c-c-old
But she’s beautiful, though…
She’s so cold, she’s so cold
She was born in an arctic zone
She’s so cold she’s so cold, cold, cold
I dare not touch her my hand just froze
She’s so cold, she’s so goddamn cold she’s so
Cold cold cold she’s so cold…”
And she won’t date me, damn it!
I’m not 5’8″ – I’m 6′!
CO2 was invented by Stalin & FDR!
Al Gore faked the Northwest Passage!
Hippie lesbos are wiping out penguins & polar bears!
Pot-smokers are secretly destroying the rainforest!
(/shit-for-brains)
You incited/inspired me to troll Ace Of Puds.
Twice – once for each excremental post.
Wow – all you have to do is get one measly pseudo-Lord Hootentoot nutter to so much as QUESTION global warming in a relatively reputable venue, & these EEG-flatlining fuckos act like a gaggle of nymphomaniacal divorcees at a Chippendales Ladies’ Night.
A wretched spectacle – the mind yearns for its own cranial stomach to vomit with – yet I must admit their titanic level of fail pleases me.
Three blokes drinking in a pub – an Aussie, a Canadian and a New Zealander.
The Lumberjack finishes his first, and smashes his glass.
The Kiwi asks, “Why d’you do thet?”
The Canadian says, “Wher I come from, we make so much glass, we don’t have to drink from the same one twice.”*
The Kiwi takes a sip from his, and tips the rest out.
The Aussie says, “Not thirsty mate?”
He says, “Where I come from, we make so much beer, we don’t hef to take two sups from the same one”
The Aussie skulls his, draws a revolver and drops the Kiwi.
The Lumberjack yells, “What the hell are you doing???”
He says, “Where I come from, we have so many Kiwis, you don’t have to drink with the same one twice.”
.
And OneMan, it’s not infighting, it’s sport (our only common interest other than living here)
*(No, he did not invite them to look for treasure)
Doctor Missus Marita, the Finns are extremely cool. In fact, as I was writing that post, I started digging up a whole buncha Split Enz stuff, including some really early (and tres weird) things that I haven’t heard in centuries. Gave me a warm glow. Their early stuff has a Pink Floyd-ish feel, very dreamy and disturbing.
To whomever said “If it knocks your hat off ur doin it rong”, well, no. Australian wines can be exceptionally good, and since I favour shiraz, which has a lot of character, I get a lot of pleasure from good ones. Something like St Hallett’s Old Block is a fine example of this: a wine that is more than just something to get squiffy on, it’s a real sensation. There are also some fine blends, like Charlie Melton’s Nine Popes, a shiraz/grenache/mourvedre blend.
To One Man: Midnight Oil still rock. Their “Sorry” trick at the Sydney Olympics was absolutely precious, and the fact that the lead singer, Peter Garrett, is now Minister for the Environment in the new Labor government is a huge boost for everyone (except old wankers like ex-PM Howard). He’s not perfect, as politicians seldom are, but he’s a great improvement over the old boys’ club that dominates most of Australian politics (as in the US, although we have more individualists because of our political system). Having a voice that’s been Pres of the Australian Conservation Foundation and on the Greenpeace board will make a difference, I think.
To ice weasel: you’re a fucking tosspot who has no idea about anything.
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