There’s an increasingly long list of Obama proposals that have been savaged by the right, then not much later adopted by Republicans. Think McCain’s recent proposal to take brigades out of Iraq and redeploy them to Afghanistan. Or talking directly with the Iranians.

IOKIYAR.

Hey, he was just sittin’ around, doin’ his job. Oooh, nasty killing! Must stop! Doop-de-doop, signing orders to kill and be killed. Oooh, war is bad! Wait, here’s another order to sign for Bush. Gosh, war is Bad!

Gates is interesting because he sometimes displays actual intelligence.

Sometimes.

Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates warned yesterday against the risk of a “creeping militarization” of U.S. foreign policy, saying the State Department should lead U.S. engagement with other countries, with the military playing a supporting role.

Do you think, with Gate’s role as Poppy’s man inside, that sometimes Brett Scowcroft and the rest of the Bush I assholes-but-not-functionally-retarded crew wire into Gates: Hey Bob, could you do us a solid and at least throw this one out there?

Gates fairly often resembles someone who has a passing acquaintance with reality. Which means that for the Gang Who Couldn’t Bomb Straight he’s a suspect outsider.

I’m sure they’ll funnel crank into Krauthammer or douche Max Boot with amyl nitrates to offer a considered response to this blasphemy.

“Why is our country populated by so many rank idiots?”

Have you not heard of the “Westward the Kooks” theory? The idiots, who couldn’t make it in the Old World, left their home countries for the new world.

I wonder if Gates considers Bush as his boss anyway. Maybe he is prepping the ground for a new administration?

No one in the administration considers Bush their boss except the low level functionaries who have to jump when he barks.

Seriously, the Petulant Boy-King is a joke.

“The Wingnut Queen”

Isn’t she a character in A Midsummer Night’s Dream? Without putting my mouse over the link, I guessed it was Pammy or maybe Stalkin. If Malkin IS the Wingnut Queen, what is Pam’s official title? Her Majesty’s Ambassador to Siliconia? Minister of Batshit?

i feel like the whole american mindset as exists in the heads of the right wing moronosphere are perfectly encapsulated by steve martin circa 77:

“i was in paris last week. did you know they call a hat a chapeau? Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything!”

Capo Pammycakes.

“Creeping” militarization? Sure, creeping like several dozen peevish pachyderms.

“Capo de tuti fruity Pammycakes.”

FTFY

Dude’s a lame duck and a proven failure for some of his own cabinet members. They’re looking beyond.

Thanks, Johnny.

It really captures the menacing wackiness.

I wonder if Gates considers Bush as his boss anyway. Maybe he is prepping the ground for a new administration?

Precisely. He’s been listening to his fawning admirers among the Beltway cocktail party circuit a little too much if he actually thinks Obama, the “change” candidate in the “change” election is going to keep him around.

The fact is, I haven’t heard such appeasing faggotry since that dandy Communist Eisenhower made up the military industrial complex. Here in the heartland, we are grateful for our patriotic defense contractors who lobby for constant war so our kids can be shipped off to get shot in the ass in some shithole desert. Left wing socialist negroes like Eisenhower, Gates and you all hate the USA because we are a great country – USA power forever, plus Jesus or something! In the heartland!

The fact is, Rugged in Montana is a better fake Jesus Heartlander.

Bob Gates bores me to tears. Six months to go…still time to bring Rummy back on board!

We cannot kill or capture our way to victory! We must also torture and wiretap!

a preznit whose Grand Foreign Policy Doctrine was precisely that we should kill or capture our way to victory?

Nope. Actually GW Bush’s Grand Foreign Policy Doctrine was that he’d be all humble and stuff and not like Bill Clinton who attacked terrorists because terrorists were a threat he needed the tail to wag the dog. But then GW Bush realized that he needed the tail to wag the dog after 9/11 he scored a trifecta “everything is different” and he got his wood on by listened to Cheney whose heart troubles had resulted in decreased oxygen to the brain causing him to be paranoid had to, however exciting distasteful it was to him go after those brown pagans terrorists.

But now that it may be the case that a Democrat will be President (or at least a Republican who once said a mean thing or two about the religious right), we must be careful lest we descend too far into militarism.

Gates is also probably trying to counter whatever kookery is being cooked up in the Vice President’s office.

Gates is also probably trying to counter whatever kookery is being cooked up in the Vice President’s office.

I appreciate this to a point, but in the past all this “work within the Administration” stuff has done is lend credible names (i.e. Colin Powell) to stupid endeavors and thereby legitimize them.

Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win! Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s Iraq pivot! Dude, where’s my recession? This random poll I cherry-picked shows that McCain will win!

I dunno. Maybe he was just bitch slapping Condi. You know, the most ineffective SecState since….umm.. ever. I can see Bobby G. getting a perverse thrill out of kicking Condi around.

If only this had come out of a massive bipartisan study group then Broder would be penning odes of joy to his permanent woody and it might actually make the evening news.

As it is we just have to content ourselves with Pammy and Michelle having a simultaneous ragegasm because somebody, in an actual position of power no less, suggested “killing them all” is a dumb strategery.

“Why is our country populated by so many rank idiots?”

Because ignorance has become a legitimate point of view. In order to have a “fair and balanced” discussion, you’ve got to have the Malkins and the O’reillys around to parrot the sentiments of low-information, semi-literate “heartland” voters.

Remember back in the ’90s when “conservatives” loved to rail the minority communities that cast out over-achievers for “acting white”? Now, these same “conservatives” take great pride in ignorance. Anyone with the smallest clue about world history, current affairs, or science is “acting liberal”. The only reason IOKIYAR is because natural selection does not work fast enough.

Look, it’s simple.

Gates is merely there to provide a quote or two so they can look Not Batshit some of the time.

The rest of the time he’s in the back room, shooting stapleguns and flying paper airplanes.

Also, militarization is creeping over this nation like kudzu. That is to say, fast, and choking the life out of us.

I’ve been waiting for a Malkin-realted thred to post this tidbit, which has admittedly left me in giggles.

Did you know that

Malkin = VAGINA WIG???

Don’t believe me? Visit Wikipedia and see for yourself.

Thanks to everyone and have a great day spreading the link above! 🙂

Gates needs a gig when this whole thing is over. He knows that the first step in getting anything respectable is to whipe the stench of the administration of his resume.

Hoo boy. I just read, for the first time ever, a complete Malkin rant AND some comments. The stoopidness density over there is in neutron star territory.

I’m half tempted to register so I can let them know that their “thinking” was plainly and clearly shown to be absolute idiocy just recently. By recent I mean the 6th century BCE, of course. This guy, Sun Tzu? He literally wrote the book on military strategy. Yep. You remember reading his warning about “understanding your enemy?”

Oh, that’s right. You folks think reading books is all elitist and shit, right?

realted = related
thred = thread

OK, I was getting hasty there. Sorry.

mgsorens wrote:
…
You don’t realize it but, you are completely out of your mind. The wild conspiracy theories you espouse in your comments are entirely your own creations. Seek medical help!
7/16/2008 12:54:53 PM
—————————————–
Wild conspiracy theories, eh? You mean like accusing Hillary Clinton of murdering Vince Foster?

Ahh, memories. Those were the days when rethuglicans used to pretend to be worried about the rule of law and congressional oversight.

Shown your true colors, you have.

And the country is sick of you. Election Day 2006 will look like a day in the park compared to what’s coming to the rethugs this fall.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of war criminals, liars, and kleptocrats.

187 days, 10 hours, and 12 minutes left, people.
~

MERKIN:

“…Houghton Mifflin’s American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 4th edition describes the term’s etymology as stemming from an “alteration of obsolete malkin, lower-class woman, mop, from Middle English; from Malkin, diminutive of the personal name Matilda.”

Jeez, DAS, don’t send us your corrected first draft. Send us the FINAL.

What? Oh.

The Perfesser longs for the days of the CIA in Latin America.

He’s not so much paying attention to the fact that the last time the CIA got involved with the Middle East and Central Asia, they kind of made that Al-Qaeda thing we’re supposed to be terrified of.

Or shit, maybe he’s counting on it, and is depressed the CIA isn’t in a rush to repeat itself.

Oops. I hit submit here instead of at the WaPo, which has no comment preview.

Nothing to see here people, nothing to see.

But there is a clock.
~

What is this “diplomacy” of which you speak? Does it involve shooting less shit? ‘Cause if it involves shooting less shit I’m outta here.

We should be responding quietly, killing radical mullahs and iranian atomic scientists

Yes, how dare anyone in another country study science, esp. nuclear science? How dare they!

Seriously?!? This asshole is advocating assassinating civilians in other countries, because our State Dept. is filled with morons and slackers who can’t figure out Diplomacy 101 and the basic premises of Humanity.

Fucking idiot…

Didn’t Reynolds also say “more rubble, less trouble”?

Sigh.

“If Bush’s effort here fails, it won’t be because the antiwar critique of bloodthirstiness and warmongering is correct. It will be because Bush hasn’t been vigorous enough in toppling governments and invading countries in the region.” Sure, Glenn. Because you can never have enough bloodthirstiness or warmongering.

Unfortunately, George and Dick seem to be determined to topple our own government. This plan seems to be working out much more smoothly than the Iraq or Afghanistan adventures.

If Bush’s effort here fails, it won’t be because the antiwar critique of bloodthirstiness and warmongering is correct.

Just so all you jerk hippies know, I’m right and you’re wrong forever no matter what happens in the real world! LALALALA I CAN’T HEEEEAARRR YOOOOUUUUU!!!

So if the military fails, will their job have to be taken over by others? I recommend it be by right-wing bloggers; sure, they’d be guaranteed to fail as well, but fetid basements all over this country would be freed up for storage as God intended.

It would appear that Crazy Tuesday has bled over into Insane Wednesday.

I think it’s almost a full moon. They don’t call them lunatics for nothing…

We should be responding quietly, killing radical mullahs and iranian atomic scientists, supporting the simmering insurgencies within Iran, putting the mullahs’ expat business interests out of business, etc.

Couple of problems here. For one, responding quietly doesn’t show anyone how awesomely huge your penis military machine is. Also, responding that way would require thought and planning. So the likelihood of it happening in the Cheney Bush misadministration is one in א-Null.

Second, is the shoebox he lives in sealed so tightly that he doesn’t know that stuff IS HAPPENING? But QUIETLY, you know, so IDIOTS LIKE HIM WOULDN”T KNOW ABOUT IT.

A Democratic senator told me that, late last year, in an off-the-record lunch meeting, Secretary of Defense Gates met with the Democratic caucus in the Senate. (Such meetings are held regularly.) Gates warned of the consequences if the Bush Administration staged a preëmptive strike on Iran, saying, as the senator recalled, “We’ll create generations of jihadists, and our grandchildren will be battling our enemies here in America.” Gates’s comments stunned the Democrats at the lunch, and another senator asked whether Gates was speaking for Bush and Vice-President Dick Cheney. Gates’s answer, the senator told me, was “Let’s just say that I’m here speaking for myself.” (A spokesman for Gates confirmed that he discussed the consequences of a strike at the meeting, but would not address what he said, other than to dispute the senator’s characterization.)

See more Hersh.

Election Day 2006 will look like a day in the park compared to what’s coming to the rethugs this fall.

Oh, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease let it be so.

Otherwise, I would be sorely tempted to take off for the woods with a Bowie knife and a bag of salt.

You liberals just don’t get it.

Liberals. Hmf.

(Sorry for the short post. I just don’t have anything else to say. My cognisance is less dissonant since I lost my house and me and the wife had to move into the kid’s dorm room at Bob Jones University. I’m just a little too stressed to spend too much time memorizing the talking points.)

Totally, off-topic, but check this out:

http://matthewyglesias.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/07/everything_is_good_news_for_mc.php#comment-2489758

It doesn’t seem satirical…could it be the REAL Gary Ruppert?

That COULD be the real Gary. I particularly enjoy he bit about how Obama didn’t have any supporters until he won Iowa – you know, the first primary.

*Sniff* Our little boy’s all grown up and off playing with the serious blogs. Fly high, little bird and dream of the sun on your wings. “Bornnnn Freeeeee….”

But the style is a bit too…refined?

Where’s the typos? The spittle?

WHO DOES #2 WORK FOR!!

Reynolds also ignores that State tried to do their job on Iraq, including offering a reconstruction plan to Defense, but Rumsfeld rejected it. He also threatened to fire anyone who talked about Phase IV (reconstruction), and Cheney interfered with State’s hiring for their Iraq staff, rejecting knowledgeable personnel because they weren’t sufficiently neocon and were instead actually competent, basically. Rumsfeld and Cheney have always hated State, all the more so when Powell was in charge. Defense was granted the lead in Iraq by Bush, and Rumsfeld, Cheney and Bush deserve most of the blame (although Feith and Wolfowitz, among others, deserve plenty, too).

If State and the CIA aren’t a-helpin’ in the killin’, then they has got to git got.

No-one’s stopping Instafuckwit from assembling a team of mercs to do the job, if he wants it so bad. Call it ‘The P-Team’.

OT: Catholic school principal forced to resign after outdoor gay sex romp. linky

Couldn’t see that one coming, nosirree. Heh, a Catholic arts school – two warning signs unheeded.

I just love wasting time chasing link after link after link. Don’t you? It’s worth it when you stumble across Faux’s Laura Ingraham interviewing (alleged actor and confirmed homophobe) Stephen Baldwin and he says
1. Don’t listen to actors.
2. “John McCain is going to be the next President of the United Straights”
linky

So I asked my son what he learned in school today and he said that antelopes don’t jump out when you open a jar of peanut butter and that proves that evolution is a lie.

He’s pre-med.

It’s not as persuasive as it used to be now that I’m scheduled for surgery in a few weeks.

Liberals. Hmf?

Wingnuts trashing the State Department is nothing new. It goes back at least to the days of Joe McCarthy and his 57 Communists in the State Department (or whatever the number was—I don’t think he ever settled on a single figure). Many of our Righty friends are suspicious of those “striped-pants boys,” as they used to be called (and still are, by relics like Wes Vernon). They’re always into diplomatasizing, doncha know, and some of them even speak foreign languages!

Under an Administration like this one, the State Dept. basically plays the role of the mousy, beaten-down wife in the car whose husband refuses to ask for directions and then blames her when he gets lost.

Stephen Baldwin is a douche.

I know, I know, I’m Republican, and we’re known for believing – or pretending to believe – a lot of childish gibberish, but there are limits for even the dumbest Republican on the street.

Aren’t there?

Malkin, presented without comment: “Who the hell puts Grey Poupon and gherkins (don’t ask me what those are, I have no idea) in tuna sandwiches for kids?”

Does anyone remember that, unlike Bush Jr. and his weirdo worshipers like Malkin who picked up the Jesse Helmsian tick of hating the State Department what with all their gay a** “diplomacy” bullsh*t, Robert Gates actually was involved in running a big covert insurgency war in the same area they have a war on today?

You know, they love to slob all over Reagan’s dead knob for having slain the Soviet beast in Afghanistan (and momentarily let’s leave aside the very rational inquiry into the consequences of that warlord chaos hell we created), but that CIA war was first run by Robert Gates.

But maybe that’s it — maybe by having had some actual contact with policies not entirely shaped by crazy ideology, Gates has been infected for their purposes with the deadly rationalist virus they fear. It’s the zombie plague of the right, wherein every where they look they see signs that someone or something has been infected by the bug, and if they haven’t turned yet into the latte-sippin’ surrender-crat gay marrying Islamo-hippie, well, it’s just a matter of time.

Ah, Malkin commenters:

On July 8th, 2008 at 10:42 am, BlameAmericaLast said:

Whatever happened to plain old tuna fish sandwiches? How about mayo, celery and a dash of salt/pepper? Plain and simple.

*****************
Really.

gherkin (n)–1. small pickled cucumber, usually sweet (US) 2. small pickled cucumber, usually sour (UK). 3. any small, pickled cucumber, comparable to the tiny size of Jesse’s penis, which is undoubtedly accountable for the MalKKKin’s seething cauldron of neverending rage.

Oh for Gawd’s sake. And to think that Michelle Obama made a special trip to Safeway for sickly-sweet but traditional American gherkins, knowing full well Michelle Merkin would go apeshit if she found out they put cornichons in their tuna salad.

Personally, I like to add a fine onion concasse along with a dollop of Grey Poopoo. Occasionally I throw in some Finnes Herbes .

Whaaaat. Whaaat already.

That’s nothing, I hear that the Obamas buy name brand hot dogs!

If Obama cracks the little end of the egg there will be much caterwauling.

I hear the McCains’ demand that their personal buyer go out and get them ‘commoner’ coffee every morning.

What real Americans.

cross over and tie in the back, while they wait for a real straightjacket. (Because even her body parts are sick of her!)

Of course, Grey Poupon is America’s best-selling dijon mustard, it’s made by goddamn Kraft, it’s cheap, and it’s milder than yellow mustard (and thus more suitable for children). Malkin’s assessment of Grey Poupon as fiddly and elitist appears to be based on the advertising, which is kind of like taking the bit on a Budweiser can about “no other beer costing so much to make” at face value.

And I always associated sweet gherkins (which are sold in the supermarket, Michelle, next to all the other pickles) with my grandmother’s sandwiches. Vlasic gherkins, no less — how elitist is that?

All this proves is that Michelle Malkin gives absolutely no thought to food other than whether that swarthy guy at McDonald’s is an illegal Mexican or a secret terrorist Arab. Basically what I’d expect from someone who eats onion rings with ketchup.

Thos regular folk pundits are too fekkin precious. Our Lady of the Camps’ non-knowledge of gherkins is on a par with David Brook’s non-knowledge of Applebees.

It’s driving you LIE-bruls crazy that President-For-Life George Willard Bush is winning the war on terra, isn’t it? You think that your Hitlery can win an election against the jet-pilot hero of the Battle of Iraq, which was won when he landed on that aircraft carrier and said “Mission Acomplished”? Maybe you forgot about the space aliens that he fought against (even if their huge saucers killed millions when they crashed into cities all over the world)?

Hear, in The Heartland of the USA of America, we Patriots fight for the Liberty of this Great Nation by carrying fully erect M1A1 Battle Rifles™ when we do our yard work or lending a helping hand at Aryan Church Community Center. We no better than to whine about the loss of our constitution rights as we are AMERICANS with a Christian President who is protecting us by taking away our freedoms (the Islamosexuals hate us for our freedoms, and if we don’t have ’em anymore, no hate. Duh!).

One of these days you LIE-bruls will stop giving away your precious bodily fluids, which, apparently unknown to you, can be smelled by rabid pelicans from a distance of 5 miles! You think you no about The Heartland, but you don’t, Wyoming was one of the first states to outlaw legal slavery in 1929 (although it allowed illegal slavery for some years beyond that). If you weren’t such Communists you wouldn’t keep insisting that we all get gay married to badgers and such, as you have no practical knowledge of how deadly those animals can be. So just stop trying to act like us conservatives are a bunch of nuts, it won’t work as we are true AMERICANS of the USA of America and Patriots of The Heartland!!!!!!!

Who the hell puts lox (don’t ask me what that is, I have no idea) on a bagel?

Oh, so now Obama’s tuna sandwiches are elitist? I love the guy who says that gherkins would be weird, but sweet relish would be okay….um, sweet relish is pretty much chopped gherkins.

And Malkin’s lapdogs are shocked, shocked that a television network would actually cover a presidential candidate’s family for a “human interest” story.

Whatever happened to plain old tuna fish sandwiches? How about mayo, celery and a dash of salt/pepper?

Wahhh! Obama’s unorthodox tuna salad recipe threatens my way of life!

I call real Rugged in Montana.

Here’s my sandwich recipe:

set of car keys
automobile, license plate JSESGRL
McDonald’s restaurant
credit card

Mix car keys with automobile and drive until you are at McDonald’s restaurant. Order a Quarter Pounder with Cheese (Pound One!) and a large fry, large coke, apple pie. Pay with credit card. Glower at cashier’s suspiciously Hispanic mustache until sandwich arrives. Open paper wrapper. Lick grease off fingers. Garnish with several generous squorts of mayo from the dispenser. Serves 1.

Who the hell puts lox (don’t ask me what that is, I have no idea) on a bagel?

If you ignorami had any culture nowledge you’d no that lox is the main food of the fashomuslamics and represents their terra war against The Heartland. Bagels are made in Arabia and shipped in via illegal immagrets on the Mexican border. Look it up in Conservapedia.

I call real Rugged in Montana.

I was under the impression he was never real, an entirely synthetic creation of the Sadly, No! Troll Research Laboratories.

This just in! Obama seen sipping Miller High Life, a.k.a. “The Champagne of Beers”

More as this story develops.

Hey, Michelle Malkin,

When I was a kid, growing up in a small town (2,000 people) in Indiana, a gherkin was a sweet pickle. (And a mango meant a green pepper, but we won’t go into that.)

This wasn’t some kind of strange or insider knowledge.

Hey, Michelle Malkin,

Would you conservative elitists stop tryng to tell Americans what an elitist is? You’re looking awful foolish, especially when some of this stuff sneaks into the traditional news (like that terrorist fist-jab comment on FOX News). Even though I find it very amusing, I feel sorry for the rank-and-file conservatives trying to defend some of this gibberish to honest decent real Americans.

Hey, Michelle Malkin

Some of the people repeating your gibberish are mothers. And I bet I’m not the only one who cringes when Mom prefaces a statement with “I’m not a racist, but …” and then says something really dumb … in front of the grandkids!

Hey Michelle Malkin,

I’d like to be able to respect my mother as much as I love her.

Hey, Michelle Malkin,

Stop degrading American motherhood.

Hey, Michelle Malkin,

Stop it.

I was under the impression he was never real, an entirely synthetic creation of the Sadly, No! Troll Research Laboratories.

That’s what I meant.

I’m on location in Chicago, liveblogging from a “soul food” restaurant I heard Obama frequented once. Get a load of these fancy, elitist menu entries! “Greens”, catfish (who eats fish, anyway? so gross)… I tried the macaroni and cheese, but it was thick and weird-tasting — nowhere near as good as Kraft.

I’ve positioned myself near the kitchen, so I’ll be able to see the countertops when the doors open.

Developing…

And about that iced tea order….

Seriously, I think that the Malkobots expect that Access Hollywood should do a “gotcha” piece.

I’m on location in Chicago, liveblogging from a “soul food” restaurant I heard Obama frequented once.

Do they have motherfucking iced tea?

As long as ur in our resaurant, I want more iced tea motherfucker.

I gotta learn to type faster.

Hersh quoted above:

Secretary of Defense Gates met with the Democratic caucus in the Senate. (Such meetings are held regularly.) Gates warned of the consequences if the Bush Administration staged a preëmptive strike on Iran, saying, as the senator recalled, “We’ll create generations of jihadists, and our grandchildren will be battling our enemies here in America.” Gates’s comments stunned the Democrats at the lunch

Yeah, who could possibly imagine that unprovoked surprise attacks against another country would lead to a backlash?

Ahhh…The Democratic Party. My Democratic Party. The Washington Generals of Washington Politics(TM)

Just fucking kill me.

I’m just waiting for the moment that these GOPsters start blaming the crashing economy on the nation’s expectation of an Obama presidency. Keep your eyes open, ’cause itsa gonna happen.

The problem, of course, is that the State Department hasn’t been up to the job. Given its abject failure in Iraq, and its — to put it charitably — very limited success in the Middle East generally, it’s no surprise that State has lost influence, while Defense, which has been far more successful, has picked up some of the slack. But if the State Department is to wield its traditional influence, it needs to start doing a better job. Otherwise its decline in influence is inevitable. The same is true for other agencies — like the CIA — that have dropped the ball repeatedly in recent years.

I guess Reynolds has to admit that The Dauphine is responsible for this horrid performance that State has turned in, right?

After all, didn’t he hire the Shoe Queen?

MM dines at Mickey D’s? Doesn’t she know that the American Family Association (or whatever those wacky wingnuts call themselves) have declared a boycott of McDonald due to their support of teh Ghey agenda?

Look it up, it’s true!

Doesn’t she know that the American Family Association (or whatever those wacky wingnuts call themselves) have declared a boycott of McDonald due to their support of teh Ghey agenda?

I’m betting that Ronald McDonald has a jihadist scarf in his closet.

Sorry Orange Tom, it’s already started.

COLORADO SPRINGS (AP)–In what can only be described as the largest, most apprieciated act of mass suicide in US history, American Family Association members all over the country dropped dead of asphyxiation today after the AFA issued a boycott of oxygen.

Before beginning to hold his breath until he expired, AFA spokeman Tony Perkins said “This offensive gas provides life for the homosexual community by fueling mitochondrial respiration through the Krebs cycle, which definitely sounds homosexual, as well as maintaining the neurological processes that allow the homosexuals to choose their homosexuality. Homosexual.”

The carnage was particularly severe here in the hometown of the AFA, Colorado Springs. Cars careened into buildings and planes from the nearby Air Force Academy began dropping from the sky as the AFA adherents carried out their sacred duty.

Local officials were not available for comment because they were all AFA members and are now deceased.

The implications for the nation at large are many. Science and education once again advance unimpeded. People have begun to take responsibility for their own actions. And the government can now act in the interest of the majority without fear of Stone Age lunatics condemning them to hell.

Rugged in Montana said,

Waiter, I asked for troll, but this is in fact reconstituted troll food product. I want the real thing next time.

Ahhh…The Democratic Party. My Democratic Party.

Hell son, I remem — I say I remember when the Democratic party included George McGovern, George Wallace, Eugene McCarthy AND Scoop Jackson. Not to mention Hubert Humphrey and Shirley Chisholm and Ted Kennedy and aw fuck it, we’re on the highway ta hell in a handbasket and that’s all there is to it.

Re: Malkin and gherkins

It takes real chutzpah for someone who clearly doesn’t do her own shopping to call anyone elitist.

I’m just waiting for the moment that these GOPsters start blaming the crashing economy on the nation’s expectation of an Obama presidency.

Orange Tom: Wall Street Journal, et al. have already been there and done that. Plus: Didn’t you get the memo? It’s all the fault of the 18-month-old Dem-majority Congress* that’s totally do-nothing yet has done so much to fuck up the whole country, George Dubya who?

_________________
*This comment in no way reflects admiration for nor support of any action/inaction on the part of the current “Democratically controlled” US Congress.

Perhaps I’m too generous, but in my reading of that passage from Hersh’s piece, the Democratic senators were surprised not by the idea that a preemptive strike on Iran would produce more harm than good but rather by the fact that Gates was telling them this, clearly breaking with the White House’s established rhetoric of strike first, strike hard, no mercy, sir. Hence the question from one of the senators present: In whose name are you talking?

I think we should call gherkins “freedom pickles.”

That 2nd quote from Dr. Perfesser reminds me a lot of what I heard Hitler’s final “regret” was. In addition to his disappointment that the German people failed his grand vision (& I expect we’ll be hearing a lot similar from the right when we’re finally driven out of Iraq, whether in one or McSame’s hopeful 100 years) he’s alleged to have shared that his only personal flaw was in not being as ruthless as Joe Stalin in dealing w/ enemies.

Perfesser Sex-Bot’s fantasies that we can kill ’em all w/ no “blowback” or dangerous consequences is remarkably naive. In fact, I’d speculate it’s the opinion of a “man” who’s never seen or been to war, like Cheney, Feith & the rest of his Chicken Hawk buddies. (I’ve never studied Reynolds’ storied career. Am I correct?)

Oh yeh, glad to see Malkin’s into Camo-chic, but she probably has as much experience w/ actual war as Herr Dr. Perfesser.

I recall reading that a ways back, J–.

I had the same impression, and therefore you are a genius.

The real patriots are fighting the blog war against the liberals here at home.

Liberals. Hmf.

(Mind you, I’m not saying THE TROOPS aren’t patriotic. I thought I’d explain that since it IS exactily what I said above. But I’m NOT saying it.)

I’m glad to see that I’m not the only who has noticed that State hasn’t been allowed to do its job since the National Security Act. Once Defense and the CIA got into the game, well, State was old hat because they believed in stupid things like talking and negotiation and such.

(Which is not to say that State’s hands are clean by any stretch.)

As much of a douche George Shultz was, he at least aggressively defended the traditional role of State as the main arm of foreign-policy making and fought against Defense taking over so much of it. Too bad it was in service to Reagan.

Up is down. Black is white. Good is bad.

We don’t torture. We’re makin progress on the ground.

Iraq is a success.

The media and all these assholes just keep buying the most ludicrous positions.

For hundreds of years, Foggy Bottom had a critical role to play in american foreign policy. Bush and cheney decided that playing toy soldiers with real blood was more important that doing serious diplomatic work, and first shut out, then crippled State.

Now the whole system is rejiggered all to hell. No separation of powers. No Congressional oversight. Hell, no real 2 party system. A King, not a president, and if he breaks the law, no worries, just pass a law making it retroactively legal.

Know what? You can’t get that toothpaste back in the tube.

Welcome to the new america.

Empty your pockets, put your hands behind your back, get on the second bus…

mikey

As much of a douche George Shultz was, he at least aggressively defended the traditional role of State as the main arm of foreign-policy making and fought against Defense taking over so much of it.

Read “Confessions of an Economic Hit Man” to see just how much of a douce Bechtel’s George Shultz really was.

A further thought on the Malkinites: One has to wonder just how “patriotic” these assholes are going to be when President Obama has the power to imprison any American citizen indefinitely, has the power to snoop on their phone calls and emails, and every other dictatorial overide of the Constitution that set just fine with them, as long as the dictator was a far-Right sub-idiot. I’m guessing we’ll see militias popping up like mushrooms after a spring rain and a sudden outburst against “jack-booted thugs” from the so-far silent winger-wankers.

Sorry, make that DOUCHE.

Open paper wrapper. Lick grease off fingers. Garnish with several generous squorts of mayo from the dispenser. Serves 1.

Sorry sweetie, but real Americans use ketchup.

Mayo is just so… European.

Sorry I’m late. Was on an emergency call to deadhead some Osteospermum (second time this week!).

So – the photo – is that Malkin’s rendition of the Time Warp?

I’m just waiting for the moment that these GOPsters start blaming the crashing economy on the nation’s expectation of an Obama presidency.

Orange Tom: Wall Street Journal, et al. have already been there and done that. Plus: Didn’t you get the memo? It’s all the fault of the 18-month-old Dem-majority Congress* that’s totally do-nothing yet has done so much to fuck up the whole country, George Dubya who?

Incidentally, they basically did the same thing in reverse for Pinochet. The international finance market, with the exception of a very few very basic functions, no longer serves in any real capacity beyond playing bagman for neoconservative lunatics.

If they like your politics, buy. If they dislike your politics, sell.

The beauty of the free market.

Incidentally, from what I’ve observed tuna salad seems to be pretty strongly describable by region; everyone I know from the East Coast uses celery, everyone I know from Vegas or elsewhere in the southwest tend to use sour pickles, and it’s not the first time I’ve heard of someone from the Rust Belt using dijon (it’s got mayo in it, so if you wanted to go whole hog and not even use mayo at all that’d work too).

Anyone else got any regional tuna variations? I’m morbidly curious.

What an embarrassment of riches S,N! has bestowed upon us lately. So many threads, so much wingnuttitude, so little time.

A further thought on the Malkinites:

Sorry, did you mean Malkintents™?

P.S.

Anyone else got any regional tuna variations? I’m morbidly curious.

I am prone to using carrot shavings instead of chopped celery, as I tend to have carrots in the fridge always. Celery, not so much.

Carrots are sweeter than celery, and they tend to go pretty well with whatever else you’re putting in there besides the tuny fish.

Tuna salad was part of the dinner rotation when I was growing up. Oil-canned tuna, sort of drained; several heapin’ tablespoons of mayo; perhaps a chopped boiled egg or two; celery, maybe onion, salt and pepper. A side of white bread and perhaps stewed tomatoes. Not quite Southern white trash, but a level or two twice removed.

I should point out that I use grated carrots on those occasional occasions when I remember where I left the grater thinghy.

PS — alec: For your research demographics, that’d be the Southeastern Appalachian Bible Belt version.

First, the tuna salad has to be right. Assuming you got that part:

Mustard, mayo, a tiny bit of greek yogurt, wasabi or horseradish to taste, finely chopped scallions, grated garlic, served on the densest toasted forty three grain bread with mayo, butter lettuce and diced RIPE tomato…

Call it the mikey tuna….

And it ROCKS…

mikey

Man, I don’t even like half of what’s in it and that sounds great.

mikey, where’s the Miracle Whip™?

Anyone else got any regional tuna variations? I’m morbidly curious.

In the South I’ve seen variotions with all those things you’ve mentioned, as well as hard-boiled egg, dill, hot sauce, etc.

I like onion, celery, jalapeno and tarragon in mine, with both a little mayo and a little mustard, or just whatever I have on hand. That’s the great thing about mixed salads like that, you can pretty much open the fridge and pantry and concoct something pretty interesting and tasty.

And I’m betting the number of standard grocery-shelf items Malkin is unfamiliar with could fill up a week of Food Network programming.

My mother taught me that any mayonnaise-based salad can be spruced up with a dash of that make-your-own Italian dressing mix (you know, it comes in a packet).

She’s from upstate NY.

ps- Mikey, your tuna salad is so elitist!

Erm, variAtions, naturally.

mikey, where’s the Miracle Whip™?

I make my own. It’s mayo, corn syrup and parsley. Everything else is optional. Go with a little cayenne, pressed garlic (just use the juice, save the pulp for a saute), coriander and/or fennel, I like to go with a little greek yogurt to firm it up, you could use sour cream, and chill it COLD. Makes a WAY better spread, and if you go in with some dill and some tarragon, you win!

mikey

ps- Mikey, your tuna salad is so elitist!

That’s why I cling to my guns…

mikey

Well, if you’re gonna get all elitist about it and everything, nothing will do but sashimi-grade raw tuna, homemade avocado mayo, chopped capers, sea salt and freshly ground black pepper on lightly toasted French baguette. I mean rilly.

Extra-bonus DFH elitist points for the vegan who will embrace only the avocado, capers, salt and pepper. No animals were slaughtered nor exploited in this scenario.

Not sure if anyone else heard it today; on KCRW here in L.A., the noontime show was devoted to a discussion of one of the things that started things going so very, very wrong … back after 9/11, Cheney apparently developed a pathological distrust of the CIA. I know, I know – one of the few things he believes in that I can support.

Getting back to the narrative: Cheney demanded that he and Bush be allowed to read the pure, unedited intelligence reports. These things are filled with much the same level of speculation, idiocy, fear-mongering and flat-out wackjob muttering that you find in the comment sections at LGF or AoS. If not more. The reporter had a great quote along the lines of “even in the best of times, any sane person exposed to a steady diet of this stuff, unfiltered, would quickly become a paranoid schizophrenic, convinced that the world was out to get them.”

Apparently, the alarm systems the put in the White House at about that time went off, and Cheney was convinced that he had been exposed to some deadly bio/chem agent and was doomed to die … which raises the awful, ugly spectre of a naked Cheney weeping in a high-pressure shower as he was given the “Silkwood” type scrubdown with long-handled wire brushes by highly trained men wearing hoods, masks, goggles and the white full-body coveralls. Although, knowing Cheney, he was probably weeping with joy, as a lifelong fantasy finally came true.

(remove brain. rinse. replace.)

It was shortly after that incident that Cheney made the decisions that led to the CIA being put in charge of the prisoners. Which is something they had never done before, and had no idea how to handle. So they apparently turned to the methods of extracting information that they had read about in a book about Soviet-style methods that were used to extract … wait for it … false confessions from prisoners.

Meanwhile, Bush and his bunch were daily freaking right directly out of their tighty-whities reading these reports about the new Magma Gun that would allow Dr. Evil to assemble an unstoppable army of Lava Men …

Please, somebody tell me all this was just an illusion. That back in ’00, someone slipped me a 2500-microgram dose of Sunshine, and I’ve been rocking in place and singing Mother Goose rhymes off in a corner of Atascadero for eight years…

“One has to wonder just how “patriotic” these assholes are going to be when President Obama has the power to imprison any American citizen indefinitely, has the power to snoop on their phone calls and emails, and every other dictatorial overide of the Constitution that set just fine with them, as long as the dictator was a far-Right sub-idiot. I’m guessing we’ll see militias popping up like mushrooms after a spring rain and a sudden outburst against “jack-booted thugs” from the so-far silent winger-wankers.”

After my initial OUTRAGE this is the lens through which I’m viewing Obama’s FISA vote. It’ll be some neat political judo to turn cons into staunch civil libertarians the moment that Senator Hussein X’s oval office is the one data mining the telecoms. Have no doubt, we’re looking at a honky militia nutter explosion at Clinton-squared levels. At least.

(and I tend to like capers, finely chopped green onions, sea salt and raisins in my tuna salad; miracle whip, not so much)

Oh, and the tuna salad:

Half mayo, half sour cream (mikey’s Greek yogurt substitutes nicely), a dash of seasoned salt, cracked pepper, a pinch of herbs de provence, red onion, sometimes chopped kosher dill pickle, occasionally hard boiled egg white. On homemade wheat toast.

From the great plains.

Sorry, yeti, there’s no sunshine anymore. Hasn’t been since that one magical summer.

There’s just blotter, surgical, measured, tummyache against experience, eat one, two or three, 600 micrograms is the dose, don’t dance too much, don’t do it alone, make sure you have someone to hug.

Sorry, it’s like the fucking helmet kids have to wear to ride a goddam bike, if your acid has warnings or measured dosages, fuck you and your acid….

mikey

wordyeti: Christ. Jesus H. Christ.

That is a beautiful story, and I would be willing to bet every word is true – up to and including the Cheney naked and weeping bit. It is that bit that my imagination revolts at but my reason understands to be true regardless.

(And this is coming from a guy who used to write Dick Cheney rape-fic.)

What I’m seeing confirmed here is that while the basic ingredients have generally collapsed tuna salad into a few discernable elements (it’s uncommon to eat it without mayo (or some kind of emollient) or bread (or crackers – Ritz in my family, which will no doubt lead to Malkin calling us millionaire elitists – or whatever) ), we have a situation kind of like the surname one (Japan, which has had surnames for a century, has tens of thousands in common use; China, which has had them longer than almost any human civilization, can collapse 90% of the population into the most popular 10; same goes for the Dutch (recent) and the Italians (ancient)): because tuna salad has been a ubiquitous part of the American diet but has only had this status for a few generations, there are a bunch of little regional variations of it. Tuna salad may have been all the more delicious before we got it into our heads to can tuna, but since then – which can’t have been any earlier than the 20s – it’s been a go-to seafood for people too far from the water to get it fresh.

I wish I had the chops to put together some kind of applet like the one that city-regional guy did. I can’t think of any single foodstuff with the same mixture of variety and ubiquity of American tuna salad.

What, no love for Jaques Pepin’s Chicken Tonato?

My friend [shameless_namedropping] Jaques Pepin [/shameless_ namedropping], aside from wiping his floors with Rachel Ray, absolutely nails it once again with his chicken tonnato,

Altho…. I add some grated onion to the broth then toss a little grated Gruyere into the bowl before pouring in the broth.

And so as the year of Our Lord 2001 dawned upon the earth, it so happened that the country formerly known as the United States of America, also known to some as God’s Own Christian® Nation — now blighted by the unprecedented appointment by unelected “Supreme” voices in the land of a ruler both popularly rejected and roundly ridiculed — began its irretrievable, hurtling descent toward inexplicable blinkeredness and resultant idiotcracy.

And lo, ere eight months had passed, a devastating blow was dealt to this once great nation (or so it always considered itself), crumbling to the ground two of its more architecturally phallically oriented skyscraping symbols of capitalist excess — a feat that rendered large portions of the populace forevermore pants-wetting and regressively stupid, not to mention more racistly exclusionary and xenophobic than at any time in its history since the Civil War and the Cold War, respectively.

In the days and years to come, the lamentations heard throughout the land begat such fear and loathing as to render its inhabitants even more regressive in their thought processes, so that, four years later, the second coming of the duplicitous, fear-mongering “leader” to whom the ignorant fearful flocks had become accustomed became a technologically-enabled theft of the “voice of the people,” and the dominant power paradigm thus perpetuated its stranglehold on what the nation had been propagandized to believe was its patriotic duty not only to itself but to the demonized “Others” that, however hazily, threatened this once-great nation’s way of life, whatever it may have been, at some point. But that’s what “elitism” does for you; it makes you understand this short history and recoil in horror, and that shit is just plain unpatriotic.

Huh? Why’z you all gettin down on me so?

Good grief. What will Michelle say about this:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/jul/17/usa.iran

Orange Tom said,

“It’s a crying shame that Obambi was afraid of talking to Iran. Good thing BushWReagan and his representative on Earth, McSame, knew better.”

I thought I thaw a puddycat!1!

Nobody tell Malkin, but the Meximoslamic menace not only spell tuna completely wrong (what is this “atun” nonsense?), but American companies are aiding the Aztlan hordes with lime flavored mayonnaise!!!

Incidentally, if you’ve never had fresh tuna I heartily recommend adding it to a list of things to do before you die. It’s a transcendently wonderful meat, and tastes almost nothing like canned tuna.

Not just tuna. You can toss a grenade into any small inland body of water, and pretty much gut and eat raw anything that floats to the surface. Freshwater fish are delicious, delicate and and rich when eaten raw. Soy sauce is a nice condiment if y’got it.

And grill ’em if y’want, but like has been pointed out, raw is way better than you think it is…

mikey

But then there IS a subset of humans who think there’s something deeply disturbed about me…

mikey

Not sure if anyone else heard it today; on KCRW here in L.A.,

Yep. Explains a lot, actually.

Spicy Herb Tuna Tartar–

1 lb fresh tuna
3 tbsp fresh mint, chopped
3 tbsp fresh basil, chopped
1 tsp-3 tsp ichimi togarashi (japanese red pepper, 1 mild 2 med 3 hot)
juice of four limes
soy sauce
wasabi
pickled ginger
romaine hearts

Mix mint, basil, togarashi (you can substitute 1-3 tsp sriracha sauce for togarashi) and lime juice in nonreactive bowl. Refrigerate 24 hours minimum.

Dice tuna finely and add cold juice/herb mixture. Mix well and serve immediately.

Serve sushi-style with soy sauce, wasabi and ginger using romaine lettuce wraps instead of rice. Serves 4 as appetizer or 2 as main.

Mikey: I now have “Ain’t No Sunshine When It’s Gone” playing in my head.

alec: Cheneyporn? Please tell me you were doing this as a sort of “honeypot” experiment, wherein you were logging the ISP addresses of the people who actually wanted to read this stuff, to be later turned over to the Hague … which might finally rid us of Jeff Gannon & Confederate Yankee…

I gotta stop listening to the news throughout the day; it’s really making me too angry & dysfunctional to get my work done in a decent timeframe. Damn tricky 16-point “garbage mattes” in Premiere CS3 had me up ’til 2 a.m.

Planning on getting some fresh sushi-grade tuna from the Farmer’s Market today; seared sashimi w/wasabi tonite!

From the Mal-comments:

On July 8th, 2008 at 10:46 am, amigoneus said:
So, now that Michelle and the kids are putting themselves really really really really really in-your-face out there, is it okay to talk about them? Or are they still off-limits?

Hypocracy[sic], thy name is liberal

Yes. Yes you can, actually. We’re on pins and needles awaiting your enlightening opinions on Obama’s young children.

No, really! Don’t be shy!

A little ironic – and slightly sad in its implications – is the fact that gherkins are a fairly common ingredient in Filipino cooking.