Crazier-Than-Usual Tuesday Steps In Its Own JR Dieckmann
Shorter JR Dieckmann:
- Many are the stories that you will never hear from the treasonous hard-left liberal media. For instance, here is an AP piece about Iraqi yellowcake uranium that says the opposite of what I think it does.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Update: It looks like Dieckmann has been standing on the shoulders of giants, as it were. But with all the triumphant sky-hooting that Saddam’s elusive WMDs have been found, vindicating George W. Bush and all who sailed on him as super-geniuses who saved the world, there’s one thing that everybody seems to have missed or forgotten, or has for some reason decided not to mention. It’s the following part of the AP piece — which, admittedly, is cunningly hidden in a paragraph several column-inches from the top, practically demanding a municipal-water-records level of research in order to piece together the gloamy narrative, such as it is, from the fragments and hieroglyphs which remain:
Israeli warplanes bombed a reactor project at the site in 1981. Later, U.N. inspectors documented and safeguarded the yellowcake, which had been stored in aging drums and containers since before the 1991 Gulf War. There was no evidence of any yellowcake dating from after 1991, the official said.
Excelsior. Welp, we’ll certainly be hearing more about these shocking proven facts about the existence of Iraqi WMDs, which have been withheld from us by the liberal media. They hide things in paragraphs, you know.
The fact is, these Renew America columnists are fish in a barrel. Go bring us some NRO loonies.
Oh drat. You’re right; I’ll do that.
Now the AP has admitted that Saddam, in fact, did have a nuclear program but stopped short of mentioning the covert nature of the program that concealed it from U.N. inspectors well past the turn of this century. A program that was just waiting to be restarted as soon as western inspectors were out of the country and out of the way.
aka, Saddam’s non WMD program that wasn’t covert and everyone did know about.
The only explanation for this week is FAUX Nooze showed the Queen of Diamonds on air, but their operatives were improperly prepared.
I love the reference to the Gen. Sada tale. That was a flimsy one indeed.
Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it. Then you’re going to discover why people, fed up with high taxes, government oppression and regulation, left Europe and moved to America to establish freedom and liberty. After a few years of Democrat control of the country, the descendents of those immigrants are going to be going back to Europe in disgust and disappointment with American big government interference in their lives.
There’s a bit more chocolatey goodness in this than my moonbat eye initially spied.
JR Dieckmann is sick and fed up with Freedom Fries™!
The fact is, these Renew America columnists are fish in a barrel. Go bring us some NRO loonies.
I’m digging this version of Gary! 🙂
Pssst — nobody tell him that Iraq already had thousands of tons of low grade uranium. That’s, like, a lot.
I’d serve Herr Dickman some yellow cake topped with Cool Whip. What? Irradiated transfats never tasted so good.
In August of 2004 I sent out just such a newsletter containing the following article:
(excerpt only)
Saddam’s Uranium Cache: 142 Potential Nuclear Weapons
By Steve Roeder
Talon News
August 10, 2004
LONDON (Talon News)
Yes, because the most trusted name in news is the one that employs closeted gay male prostitutes to act as ringers at White House press conferences.
Bonus points for the “Remembering Terry Schiavo” ad in the sidebar.
Great American Journal: News and Opinion for the Real World, Contributing Writers and Columnists:
‘!
OT: I just unsubscribed from Obama’s email list. They can forget about any organizing or contributions (Ha! As if I could afford contributions right now anyway!) from me. I told them I’d still vote for him, but after FISA, his recent comments on a woman’s right to choose, his fear-mongering on there terra-ists, & c. & c., I wasn’t going to be joing the hope brigade.
It’s a damned shame. I was an Edwards supporter and was sad when he washed out, but felt that Obama had a truly superior campaign and deserved to win. He kicked ass in Iowa and although I had seen him at rallies and thought he was a little slick for my taste, he really ran a first class organization here. I was actually excited about his campaign after the race speech in the wake of the Rev. Wright affair. It was a great speech. Better than Bill Clinton at his best, comparable to Jesse Jackson when he was on fire. (And there were few better than Jackson, back in the day.)
I did mention that if he named Edwards or Kucinich as running mate, I might reconsider . . .
I could probably get excited about voting for Michelle Obama though. I really like her. Michelle Obama/Elizabeth Edwards for Pres!
ahem: “the” terra-ists. I managed to achieve buzzdom. I really wish I could still get really drunk on a bottle of wine, as I could when I was, um, twelve or so. bed soon.
Wow, I slept all day after working all night, and now back at work I see that teh Sadlies have been feverishly unearthing such wingnutty wingnuttery.
I’ll never catch up! (despairs)
But I’m gonna try to work my way through these fun and games as methodically as possible. The longest journey begins with one step, etc.
In other news – is anybody going to pay homage to our Dark Lord, Kos in Austin this week? I’m flying out from Boston early Thursday, and would like to meet up.
I’ll be the dorky looking guy with the laptop, hanging around the lobby. You can’t miss me.
“The AP Steps In Its Own Excrement”
Please tell me it occurred at al-Qaqaa.
Gosh. You learn something new every day.
Isn’t that Stacy Keach?
Please? See ya wouldn’t wanna be ya what’s yer hurry don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out…
To bad it’s the carbon monoxide and nitrous oxide we’re worried about, eh, Snorghagen?
http://www.physicalgeography.net/fundamentals/7a.html
I like this guy!
Then in this happier and more decent nation of the future JR Dieckmann and thousands of good patriotic Americans like him could write endless run-on sentences without the use of socialist commas or periods and instead fuse unrelated ideas together in much the same way that excrement is fused to the shoes of AP reporters in a big foul-smelling blob of glutinous poop-mush.
Then the Democrats and the media could get back to supporting American values and being good patriotic Americans like they used to be many years ago before they started trying to replace our Constitution with a socialist platform and laws written to benefit only the special interest groups on the left.
And this is after the FISA fiasco, folks.
What the fuck does this dude want — the NSA saying “Can I get a piece of that action” when NOT-Stacey Keach (sorry FlipYrWhig — I’m a Titus fan here) calls the disgruntled sex worker on the other end of the 1-900 number he dials?
While said NSA worker gives said !Stacey_Keach a happy ending?
And dammit, Snorghagen beat me to it.
Bonus:
Can you spot the Freudisms in the Before You Arrived cover?
[Updated a bunch, btw.]
It is amazing that search for weapons which lasted over two years missed this.
Yes, a million pounds of the stuff inside the defunct nuclear complex. Crazy that no one ever ever ever thought to look there.
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/9900.html#comment-632146
Could not agree w/ you more.
Patterico’s gone off the deep end:
Good lord, I wish someone would duct tape the hands of these morons to their keyboards.
Good lord, I wish someone would duct tape the hands of these morons to their keyboards.
Oh, I’m sure they’d find some way to peck out their screeds…
I have doubts they could figure out how to “peck out” anything, never mind a screed or two. They’d die of shame before anyone could explain to them what a “screed” was…
Worth a shot, then.
How much do RenewAmerica columnists get paid? Money’s a bit tight, and it seems like they publish everything the little schizos send them — I’m sure I could hack together some random craziness into a weekly column…
How far the Village People have fallen. Wasn’t he the leather guy?
Hey! That would only work for the male columnists.
Though I do wonder if the women would be smart enough to use their noses.
How can you all fail to be alarmed at the news of a “saran” filled artillery shell? Or that pesticides are the “precursor to saran”?. I’ve been poisoning my kids when I wrap their sandwiches each school morning! The media don’t tell you that. Plastic wrap is a dangerous nerve agent, people!!1!wun!!
I’ve seen monkeys fling poo with greater eloquence than JR Dieckmann writes.
The fact is, that was an imposter earlier trying to make fun of me and conservatives in the heartland, failing as usual. Dieckkmann nails you punks dead to rights, complete with the liberal bias and hate USA cliches that are leftist socialism. You all are full of angerr and hate and jealousy of success and you will not win with your Osama Hussein magic negro. McCain is a true heartland war hero and appeals to average people, well Osama only appeals to leftist terrorists and minorities, note his wife and him giving the terrorist fist jab on the cover of your eleite New Yorker, the jokes on you, here in the Heartland we believe in USA Power.
Dang, fonofidl got to the deadly saran first. That leaves me with:
Probably not, since those plans were literally buried in 1991 when Saddam scrapped his nuke program.
Wow this is starting to read like a shrill left-wing screed.
Okay, just one more:
Remember that, according to these wingnuts, Valerie is not important in the CIA, outing her had no effect whatsoever on our intelligence gathering capabilities and yet is somehow able to personally select who is going to investigate whether Saddam was trying to buy nuclear fuel.
Okay, here’s the punchline – Joe Wilson was right, at least according to such biased left-wing mouthpieces like:
George Tenet
Ari Fleischer and
Condoleeza Rice
Dieckkmann nails you punks dead to rights, complete with the liberal bias and hate USA cliches that are leftist socialism.
This is pretty good. If you added the words “global muslim stroking” in there somewhere it would be positively Swank-esque.
Shorter shorter JR Dieckmann: Please to free moustache-ride!
And should I mention the nuclear components and bomb plans found buried in the back yard of Iraqi scientist Mahdi Obeidi?
Not to mention that the “components” were buried in sand. Know what you call sensitive nuclear technology that’s been buried in sand? a paperweight..
Oh drat. You’re right; I’ll do that.
NOOOO!!! After Wes and the Hat and incestuous pedophile Fischer, you can’t just turn of the Renew! Not when the latest column is Marie Jon’.
conventional wisdom of the lamestream media
Zing! Dorothy Parker and H.L. Mencken, eat your hearts out!
Not when the latest column is Marie Jon’.
Oh my, she is a treasure. May I quote her latest:
He is so com se comsa. With his gifted, articulate tongue, he speaks disingenuously to perfection.
He is so com se comsa. With his gifted, articulate tongue, he speaks disingenuously to perfection.
Oh, my. Marie may actually be devolving. I didn’t think that was possible.
Never mind the Saran – I’ve heard that Iraq was also about to acquire GLAD-BAGS, as a precursor to The Mother Of All Clean-ups …
Yellowcake, yellowcake, who’s got the yellowcake?
Well, So-Damn Insane had goodles & boodles of the stuff – & it’s pretty apparent that he never actually DID much with it as of at least 1991. He was boned if he tried to use it, & boned if he tried to sell it, so there it sat, moldering away in rusty old barrels, a wingnut’s “Deadly Super-Secret WMD Stockpile” wet-dream incarnate.
This ranks right down there with the mythical satellite shots of Iraqi WMD’s being trucked into Syria, right before Schlock & Awesomeness – much like we’re to believe the poor weak helpless US Army would sit around & watch that go down without lifting a finger to catch Iraq red-handed with illicit weapons, we’re to think that tons of stale unused yellowcake somehow “vindicates” Bush’s knowing lie about Iraq trying to buy it from Nigeria – &/or proves the existence of a nuclear-weapons program that intel operatives & weapons-inspectors said was pure moonshine.
So, yeah, wingnuts have lapped this “excrement” up with joy, yelping their glorious battle-cry “Ah-HA!” as they fail to get it yet again. Inevitable as the sunrise.
But is their chronically “low-information” fan-club going to twig to the fact that they’re being chumped once more? Sadly, No.
I’ve heard that Iraq was also about to acquire GLAD-BAGS
let us pray they never get their hands on contractor-strength bags especially the really stretchy ones with the nifty drawstrings….. (crosses self even though not Catholic)
Followed the Surber link, and discovered a comment from a former Charleston Gazette editor (now working as editorial page editor for the Roanoke Times), Dan Radmacher.
“Don, Don, Don. You can delete my posts, but you can’t erase the fact that we knew Saddam had yellowcake uranium. We knew he had it. The IAEA knew he had it. It was under monitor and seal – at least until we invaded and all the controls over Saddam’s shuttered nuclear program were obliterated.
I expect to find this kind of blather on some blogs, but not the blog of an actual journalist.
You should correct this nonsense instead of deleting posts pointing out your error.
This is getting sad, Don. Are you more blogger than journalist now?”
Serber’s reply? “You know what? Post comments. I no longer care.”
Next time some brainless right winger brings up the “buh buh CO2 is heavier than air so it cain’t be the dang problem at the top of the damn atmosphere”, ask him or her why all air-breathing life is not currently and previously dead, given that we should be suffocating beneath an awful tall stack of CO2.
I mean, unless there’s some sort of magical phenomenon which has air moving around & shit and, like, mixing stuff up, you know, high and low, but that can’t be true, otherwise other stuff which is heavier than air, like water, would be regularly seen floating in the sky.
I certainly hope you’re not questioning the scientificalistic knowledge of JR Dieckmann. Dieckmann knows gases like Jonah Goldberg knows history. Dieckmann even emits gases, frequently and loudly.
I can easily think of several reasons that could explain our ability to survive in the dense stratum of CO2 that blankets the Earth’s surface (also known to specialists as ‘the Dieckmann Layer’). All animal life could have invisible ectoplasmic snorkels that rise to the oxygen layer several miles up in the atmosphere. Or each of our cells could have microscopic scuba tanks. Or maybe we have tiny lung-scissors that pop out when CO2 molecules come near and cut the carbon atoms from the oxygen atoms. Or we could actually be plants. Someone needs to propose some studies on this.
After a few years of Democrat control of the country, the descendents of those immigrants are going to be going back to Europe in disgust and disappointment with American big government interference in their lives.
Just so I’ve got this straight…
He’s arguing that Americans who are so completely disgusted with “big government interference”…
which presumably means things like higher taxes, regulation of financial markets to promote economic stability, and regulation of corporations in order to promote the public good in areas like labor rights, the environment, worker safety, product safety, public health, public transit, alternative energy, widespread and efficient passenger rail service, AND universal health care…
that they’re going to move to Europe in order to get away from all that?
This guy doesn’t travel much, does he?
Maha covered the stupidity of all this not long ago, as well.
Is he talking about all those barrels of yellowcake that had great big IAEA seals on them so that Saddam couldn’t use them? The ones that some Iraqis looters got into right after the invasion, dumping out the yellowcake and using them to carry off more likely-looking loot? Because we totally knew about those ones.
Not only that, but I hear there are substantial quantities of natural anthrax living in the very soil of Iraq , which could in theory have been grown up in huge vats and weaponized if Saddam had had the infrastructure to do that. Plus there were distribution networks for vast amounts of depleted heavy water, although we blowed up most of those I think.