Can someone translate this for us please?

Posted on September 16th, 2004 by

It appears to be written in Meekinsese, the anti-Esperanto:

If International Olympic Committee officials and their sycophants in multinational corporations continue to undermine basic human freedoms — foremost among them being the right to consume whatever foodstuffs one has legally acquired irrespective of brand — hopefully this antiquated pageant of feigned brotherhood and other hypocritical drivel will once again go the way of the heathen deities such athletic spectacles were invoked to venerate as curious but best forgotten footnotes of ancient history.

Brother, can you spare a comma?

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Comments: 20

Ueberscheisse

September 16th, 2004 at 9:14 pm

Um, how about this:

“I’ll eat whatever crap I want so the olympics can go back to being a pimple on Zeus’ ass.”

omphale

September 16th, 2004 at 9:15 pm

Thanks for posting this, I’ve been trying to find an example of anacolouthon in English to use as an example.

Anacolouthon – switching grammatical constructions mid-sentence, usually leaving the protasis hanging out to dry. Kind of like telling a joke by saying “A priest, a rabbi and a minister find a bag of gold. Yeah, doctor there’s a man attached to my ass!” (Weird example I know)

marceaumarceau

September 16th, 2004 at 9:47 pm

This Meekins gets a “0” on the blogarithm scale.

OT: Note new military policy, re-enlist or to Iraq you go!

recent post: marceau.blogspot.com

..you will be court-martialed, shot, and sent to the Russian front…

marceaumarceau

September 16th, 2004 at 9:48 pm

Yikes! 5-yard penalty for double-click!

Ueberscheisse

September 16th, 2004 at 10:08 pm

I hate it when the protasis hangs out to dry. It gets all skeered and tingly.

Morrigan

September 16th, 2004 at 11:32 pm

Ouch!! My brain really hurts now.

Another Kevin

September 16th, 2004 at 11:41 pm

Remember, “the right to consume whatever foodstuffs one has legally acquired irrespective of brand” is FOREMOST among BASIC HUMAN FREEDOMS.

BlogBites

September 17th, 2004 at 3:36 am

Brother, can you spare a comma?

Sadly, No!

melior

September 17th, 2004 at 3:55 am

“My brain is so saturated with Pepsi-programming, that the very idea of not being allowed to consume it (at an event I’m not even attending) while flag-waving and chanting “USA, USA!” fills me with the white-hot anger and rage of cognitive dissonance.”

(I predict he will meekly apologize later for bad-mouthing his own modern heathen deities, the multinational corporations.)

njudah

September 17th, 2004 at 4:11 am

Sometimes I find it helpful to use google’s translating tool. Here it is from English to German and back to English, i.e. “stepped on”.

“If international Olympic committee officials and their continue sycophants in the multinational companies, the fundamental human freedoms to undermine — first among them being, the right, to use which food one permit-proves regardless of the mark acquired — hopeful these antiquated Pageant the illusory brother shank and other one goes hypocritical drivel again the way the heathen deities, which such athletic plays were caused to venerate as curious however best forgotten footnotes of old history.”

I think it means “Let them eat Cheetohs.”

four legs good

September 17th, 2004 at 4:14 am

Well, it confused me.

I’m guessing this is about exclusive brands at the Olympics (which is really stupid). Actually, come to think of it, I might be ticked if I went to a sporting event and they tried to make me drink pepsi. I doubt it would inspire me to spew out that crap though.

garth

September 17th, 2004 at 5:12 am

lord, the thought of having to ingest that death-swill makes me angry with rage!

and dude is angry at the Olympics? Does he hate America too? We kick ass at the Olympics. Other than basketball of course.

jeff lawson

September 17th, 2004 at 6:32 am

OT:

On The Nickel

Sticks and stones will break my bones, but I always will be true, and when
Your mama is dead and gone, I?ll sing this lullabye just for you, and what
Becomes of all the little boys, who never comb their hair, well they?re lined
Up all around the block, on the nickel over there.

So you better bring a bucket, there is a hole in the pail, and if you don?t
Get my letter, then you?ll know that I?m in jail, and what becomes of all the
Little boys, who never say their prayers, well they?re sleepin? like a baby,
On the nickel over there.

And if you chew tobacco, and wish upon a star, well you?ll find out where
The scarecrows sit, just like punchlines between the cars, and I know a place
Where a royal flush, can never beat a pair, and even thomas jefferson, is on
The nickel over there.

So ring around the rosie, you?re sleepin? in the rain, and you?re always
Late for supper, and man you let me down again, I thought I heard a
Mockingbird, roosevelt knows where, you can skip the light, with grady tuck,
On the nickel over there.

So what becomes of all the little boys, who run away from home, well the
World just keeps gettin? bigger, once you get out on your own, so here?s to
All the little boys, the sandman takes you where, you?ll be sleepin? with a
Pillowman, on the nickel over there.

So let?s climb up through that button hole, and we?ll fall right up the
Stairs, and I?ll show you where the short dogs grow, on the nickel over there.

–Tom Waits, “Heartattack and Vine”

FlipYrWhig

September 17th, 2004 at 6:18 pm

I didn’t think that that sounded right, but I just checked the Declaration of Independence–

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these rights are life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and, foremost among them, the right to consume whatever foodstuffs one has legally acquired irrespective of brand; that to secure these rights governments are instituted among men…