Oh my, is that the Deborah Schlussel who went to U of M for her undergraduate degree? She was a venomous little airhead even then.

The kind of commenter Debbie registers on her site

As white folk, we’re constantly told not to “judge” or stereotype, based on race. We buy into it, like the guilt ridden lemmings we’re brought up to be in our public schools. Then, this “player” comes along, and glorifies the worst stereotype of black men. Just as do hip-hop thugs, black sports figures, and more. If so called black “leaders” were really concerned about race relations, they would condemn this BS. But we know their real agenda.

Hey Debbie, before you condemn “full figured women” I just wanna say I’ve seen your back fat on national television.

Oh my, is that the Deborah Schlussel who went to U of M for her undergraduate degree? She was a venomous little airhead even then.

She discovered the Internet and someone told her (in words of two or fewer syllables, or possibly pictures) that she could make a living from those very qualities, primarily because stupid, greedy, cruel old men are willing to pay money to hear stupid, greedy, cruel young women tell them what they already know.

Not so sure she’s one to be dissin’ fatties:

http://media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper906/stills/u1p10mks.jpg

My diagnosis of Ms. Schlussel: jungle fever.

Holy shit, thank you, zuzuspetals. That’s a point I was ironically trying to make with the svelte comment, and couldn’t find the picture I’d remembered to that would have reinforced it. Will fix in a bit before I crash.

Omigod, she’s fat and inane on video too. This clip looks like a Rachel Dratch SNL skit. Just waiting for her to burst out with a “Wick-ed!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIWfkt_jPeI

Hi-larious.

I think at this point we should state that being fat is not, per se, a bad thing.

No, the crime is to be fat without the requisite sassiness.

The crime is to be a fat woman dissing other fat women for being fat.

I’d go with a still from that video, HTML… holy crap, that one gets the hahas flowing.

I say this as a more or less round little lady who (1) has high self-esteem and (2) would never think to diss other round little ladies.

It’s not that she’s chubby that matters; it’s that she’s really nasty about black people and she’s nasty about fat people while not having much room to talk herself.

I’m all for fat jokes, of course; the Sammich and I are comrades. But hating on fat people, much less hating on fat people just to reinforce one’s already racist “point”, sucks.

I thought of this shorter right as I read her post. But I thought maybe I was being unfair until I read the commenter over there bring up Dr. King’s adulteries. Then I was more sure of what she was trying to do, and the response she was looking for. I kept thinking of Bob Hoskins as J. Edgar Hoover, snarling to Hopkins’s Richard Nixon about how Dr. King was a “morally-degenerate tomcat.” Ugh (but good acting, and historically true to Hoover’s nastiness).

it’s the fathead talking out of the side of its mouth that’s funny. the only thing missing is the proverbial cigar.

i’m having a difficult time picturing this woman as a lawyer, even an ambulance chasing one.

Debbie’s likes to contradict herself when it comes to sexism and lookism. Have any of you read her screeds against the WNBA?

That Shorter Debbie (and this is a direct quote) is: “Good-looking women get endorsements. Women who look and act like men don’t.”

Also, there are too many lesbians in the WBNA, sez Debz.

http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2005/06/lesbian_basketb.html

Call me crazy, but I have trouble believing that Debbie could ever approve of herself as the heavyset, gravel-voiced, unmarried 39-year arbiter of 1950s-style white feminine charm.

“Debbie likes”

sorry for the apostrophe abuse

Does it matter that a lot of black leaders and intellectuals and men and women in the street do condemn the gangsta rap and the criminal athletes and the stereotyping and the nice LADY and whatever the hell else it is that they’re supposed to condemn?

It sort of reminds me of a conversation my brother had with our Aunt a few years ago. She was talking about how all the foreign Muslims were celebrating 9/11, and how if Muslim leaders want respect they should condemn that kind of behavior.

And my brother says, well, they do, and there were a lot of marches mourning 9/11 in Muslim countries.

And her reply is, “Well, I watch the news and I never saw any of those.”

I highly suspect that the liberals who say, “You Christians need to condemn Jerry Fallwell et al if you want to be taken seriously” have the same problem.

Oh, and Andre, you made my day. Well played.

Christopher said:
Does it matter that a lot of black leaders and intellectuals and men and women in the street do condemn the gangsta rap and the criminal athletes and the stereotyping and the nice LADY and whatever the hell else it is that they’re supposed to condemn?

That’s the question people should be asking, but I think you lost Debbie at “black”.

Wasn’t she “Hazel” in that wonderful infomercial for the super-awesome ‘personal versatile countertop magician’ “Magic Bullet“?

Oh, dear lord: I had no idea there was an even sadder follow-up to the Magic Bullet stock character schtick commercial. The review from Infomercial Hell is worth reading. There are apparently some weird, dark things going on in this ad for a cordless mini-blender.

Lesley is exactly right. Every time I have the misfortune to hear Little Debbie Snackcake* start to jabber, I look up, expecting to see Edward G himself.

*That’s a Wolcott classic.

I can’t drive 55!!

Man, I love her.

Maybe nobody’s made the connection yet, but I find it remarkable that Chris Penn faked his own death just to become a female reactionary nutcase.

ARRGGGGHHHHH!!!
WTF?!?!?!
I swear off fat jokes and it’s three Schlussels in three days! This one’s about hiphop ass. Hiphop ass! Fucking big-butts-and-I-can-not-lie ass.

Man, the only correct response to this is, of course, airstrikes on Iran’s nuclear facilities.

P.S. I think norbizness actually meant Chris Farley.

I wonder what lil’ Debbie thinks about, say Maxim, Details et al . Those rags are/were entirely about chasing ass, but because they were targeted at citified frat boys with job prospects, I suppose it’s just good clean fun.

First Schlussel commenter:

In this day and age when marriage between a man and a woman no longer means anything to the Left, it follows they don’t adultery is a big deal when marriage means nothing. I’m an old fashioned man who believes marriage is a promise to be kept by a man and a woman to each other and adultery is well… a sign of one’s lack of character.

I look forward to NormanF’s vote for Obama to teach that adultering JiSM3 a lesson.

Second Schlussel commenter:

Womanizing and stuff like this that degrades values should be judged by society. It’s interesting and disheartening to see who gets a “pass” on this stuff.

Well aside from the fact that JiSM3 dumped his first wife (a former model who was disfigured in a car accident) for a woman 17 years younger (and much wealthier) I look forward to diaphanous’ efforts to push for more information about Vicki Iseman.

Well, one day many moons ago I gently took Little Debbie to task for her lookism/fatism by pointing out that she was herself not so easy on the eyes. I didn’t get banned, exactly, but my comments never make it past moderation any more.

My question is this: what the hell’s up with the picture of the woman in her masthead? Who the heck is that person? Is it supposed to Schlussel herself? I’ve never, ever seen her look anything like that.

Third Schlussel commenter:

An Answer: Yes, Debbie. Full-figured women CAN have self-esteem. Not because of “Golden Gate Bridge-sized thongs”. Regardless of our achievements, the quality of our personal relationships, our charity work…we are worth NOTHING to people like you simply based on our looks. So we have to develop all those other positive character traits to life a good life. Do we want to lose weight? Yes. Do we try? Yes. Do some quit trying? Unfortunately, yes. Not me. But thanks for setting me straight. I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to think well of myself until I was back down to a certain size that is acceptable to people with your attitude. I’m 5’9″…let me know how much I should weigh in order to be worthy of self-esteem in your eyes. Until then, I guess I’m not worthy to even read your site. The fact that both you and Laura Ingraham have such distain for overweight people shows more about your characters than my size shows about mine.

The new more enlightened Dragon-King Wangchuck, who does not tell fat jokes anymore, has nothing to add to this comment

In this day and age when marriage between a man and a woman no longer means anything to the Left

This is why Massachusetts has the highest divorce rate in the country. SAD.

Fourth Schlussel commenter:

If so called black “leaders” were really concerned about race relations, they would condemn this BS. But we know their real agenda.

Yes, a hiphop agenda of womanizing adultery with flygirls that got back. It’s an agenda that’s only barely hidden by a pair of two sizes too small low rise jeans.

Jesse Jackson? Desperate for a booty call, with an emphasis on teh booty. Al Sharpton? There’s a horndog playa if evah I seen one. The NAACP? It actually stands for the National Association for Astoundingly Comely Posteriors.

Steve Harvey (a popular black radio host) gets people write in with personal problems. He and his co-hosts read them on the air and discuss them. This morning, the letter was from a guy who got both his girlfriend and her Mom pregnant.

God, I love black radio morning shows.

Oh, I was wrong about the Third commenter, ChicagoGal. I actually have this to add:
Thanks for reminding me why I’m making the effort to lay off the fat jokes.

The NAACP? It actually stands for the National Association for Astoundingly Comely Posteriors.

Dragon-King, that was pure genious. May you live to play many, many more years of basketball in your plaid, toga-like Bhutanese national dress.

Also, if one or two “bad boys” are enough to tarnish a whole group, well… whitey got some splainin to do

Holy shit. How did this fatass bitch ever get anywhere?

Not to wax all linguistic on her little post there, but her pathetic take on dialectical spelling made me want to wretch almost more than her take on aspects on black culture (or just one black guy with a book). No doubt she never bothered to actually read McWhorter’s “Losing the Race: Self-Sabotage in Black America” (and definitely not his earlier works on linguistics, the cunt), but was one of the white conservatives who praised his “race books” enormously until he finally told conservatives that he wasn’t presenting evidence to prove their racist theories. Perhaps if she did at least read that 1st book she’d at least learn a bit about dialect, code-switching and the importance therein of cultural norms and not just stick to the “takas”.

And yes, after working very very hard to stay in shape despite minor disability, I feel I have the right to mock her tubbyness in her pic here compared to the shopped one at her page, much as I have worked too hard at learning all the ins and outs of the English language (among others) to not slam her on that account as well.

People like this get “blog revenue”? More proof that those self-identified ‘conservatives’ can’t live without self validation.

If so called black “leaders” were really concerned about race relations, they would condemn this BS. But we know their real agenda.

Right, Schlusselites. Their “real agenda” for black leaders is trivial things, like equality in employment, economic equality, equal justice for all, stopping an illegal war which affects the black community, etc.. such a shame it diverts them from tackling important issues like pop culture.

why no call for John McCain to “condemn this BS?”

Goddammit, Larry, stop pointin’ that fuckin’ Schlussel at me!

Barack Obama has taken an important step by lecturing black fathers on their parental duties, but he will have to do a lot more before he gets the Booker T. Washington seal of wingnut approval. He must also condemn laziness, criminality, and poor taste in music and fashion within the black community. Finally, he must prove that he is not a racist by endorsing John McCain for president.

I haven’t figured out how to work in a joke about a French car with big booty yet, I just love this commercial. Must be some kind of moral failure on my part. sure hope so.

James Wolcott was on target when he called Debbie Schlussel “Dairy Queen’s answer to Ann Coulter”.

I was thinking that she hadn’t aged all that badly for a mid to late 40ish woman. Then I checked it out and she was born the year I graduated from HS. I could be that woman’s baby mama (one look at that kid and any man would have abandoned me)

On a slightly more serious (or more morbidly curious) note has she had a stroke or does she suffer from Bell’s palsey?

[…] http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/9685.html#comment-621232… the fact that JiSM3 dumped his first wife (a former model who was disfigured in a car accident) for a woman 17 years younger (and much wealthier) I look forward to diaphanous’ efforts to push for more information about Vicki Iseman. […]

I went to her site, but was too astounded by the “Creative” Schlusselborg, ensconced in its poorly cropped classic Internets Disease angle, catatonically goggling out at me from the top of the page, to actually incur any wingnut-vectored brain-damage by reading any of it.
Whew! That was a close one!

Bless you, Photoshop!

Debbie is such a fantastic writer with such a great grip on the Ebglish language. Here’s the opening of her wonderful piece:

This one needs no explanatory commentary, other than to say that the author of an adultery guide for Black men has come to Detroit to market it, thinking that since Kwame “The Kingpin” Kilpatrick is Hizzoner, Detroit men might want to emulate the man they elected:

For three days, he’s been tooling around Detroit in his infidelity mobile, a tricked-out GMC Suburban screenprinted to promote his 240-page guide to cheating “on your woman.” . . .
“Free text messaging to all mayors,” and “The Book Kwame and Eliot (Spitzer) Didn’t Read” are a couple of the slogans stuck to his SUV advertising his “cheat book.” . . .

re: Second chins and first impressions

At least this puts the Popsicle Jihad obsession into context.

I’ve said it before but I’m going to say it again. The world’s a mess it’s in her kisser. I’m a straight guy and I’d fuck Tucker Carlson before I’d go near her.

Whoah. If you think this piece is Debbie’s attempt to piss off feminists, then you should look at her latest piece. Wow. Not only are figure skaters whiny cry-babies but they’re also part of the next Islamo-terror plot.
Here’s a taste:

In a free market, parents who want their daughters (and girlie-boys) to learn to figure skate can surely find another rink which caters to that interest and provides the ice time. I’m not exactly worried about America losing the chintz-on-ice race to Bin Laden. Are you?

But who cares about economics, when finding a non-existent discrimination issue is more important?

And since they’re so interested about alleged gender discrimination, where is the ACLU and its lawyers when it comes to college and grad school admissions, overwhelmingly female? Strictly crickets chirping.

The ACLU–protecting Islamic terrorists and female figure skaters. Great service to America.

I guess it was too tough for her to jab a little racism in there too, so I’m going to have to mark it down to an 8.5

People complaining about figure skating ice time being cut is ACLU-brand cry-babying, but her complaining about ice-cream truck music being silenced signifies all that is good and pure in America. I bet Muslims are using American popsicles to build subversive terrorist ice rinks on which no hockey will be permitted and burka-clad women will only be allowed to skate to tinkly versions of “Turkey in the Straw.”

Black men having sex with fat balck women?!? We all know what’s coming next…

This one needs no explanatory commentary, other than to say that the author of an adultery guide for Black men has come to Detroit to market it, thinking that since Kwame “The Kingpin” Kilpatrick is Hizzoner, Detroit men might want to emulate the man they elected

Sure, Debbie. Because publishers route book tours based on locations where months-old political scandals occured.

Double-wide Debbie

Har!

The ACLU–protecting Islamic terrorists

Alright, flying passenger jets into buildings is one thing, but protecting the ACLU??? How long will the Heavens stand by and allow these monsters to dwell among us?

Debbie Schlussel is like a less-funny Lisa Lampanelli, minus the whole constantly-talking-about-taking-it-in-the-ass-from-a-black-guy thing.

Islamic terrorists broke into my house last night. Not only did they hide my reading glasses where they knew I couldn’t find them this morning, they also raided the pantry and took ALL the remaining cans of Puppy Banquet dog food. Now, I have to go to the grocery store tonight.

Damn Islamic terrorists.

I see the phrase “Shorter Debbie Schlussel”, and I instantly think Verne Troyer or Billy Barty.

Shorter Sir Mix-A-Lot: Okay, okay, I said I liked big butts, and that I cannot lie about it. I said nothing about when the back of the neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

Deborah Schlussel, the world renoun star of Panther Media’s Black Dicks in White Chicks volumes 6,7,8,13,and 33.

Wait til Debbie gets a load of Bridget McCain. I predict much angst for Dragon-King when that day comes.

Even I gotta shout!

I highly suspect that the liberals who say, “You Christians need to condemn Jerry Fallwell et al if you want to be taken seriously” have the same problem.

What with our constant, sly implications that invading the Bible Belt, killing their leaders and converting them to secular humanism would be *nudge, nudge, wink, wink* say no more say no more, one presumes…

Call me crazy, but I’m starting to think that Debbie has a problem with dark skinned people, even when they’re not Muslim. I know I’m going out on a limb here.

If so called black “leaders” were really concerned about race relations, they would condemn this BS.

Yes, we all know that holding every black person in America responsible for what one black person says or does is not racist at all.

zuzu’s petals

I was going to cry when that first started playing. Debbie’s enough to make my eardrums wither. But then I started really listening. Mwahahaha!!

Seriously, thanks for the laugh.

Oh, for…

Until John McCain publicly denounces Kilcrops, Necromass, and all other Death Metal, he is personally responsible for all teen angst among whites currently hapening in America today.

Not to mention Metalocalypse.

Hmm – the link seems to have been eaten. Or I just suck at making them. Take two:

Not to mention Metalocalypse.

And I’ll say this one time –

There are no songs about women with small asses.

Oh yeah? I say the closer to the bone, the sweeter is the meat.

I say this as a more or less round little lady who (1) has high self-esteem and (2) would never think to diss other round little ladies.

Forget fat/rotundity; Debs’ lips are crooked!

Debbie’s morality is crooked.

No wonder, Debbie uses her lips to make her own morality.

Ben, I believe you are going out on a mighty thin limb suggesting that Ms Debbie might have some …concerns…. regarding those humans with deeper pigmentation, regardless of their religious beliefs. Where did she get the quote “TAY-kuhs”? Alas, we are not informed.

For fun, she also throws in a few …concerns… about women of size. Considering her bizarre photoshopped image, its very clear she hates her full-figured self, and can’t imagine any other fat woman feeling differently.

GoatBoy, re: Bridget McCain.
I actually look forward to that day. Bangladesh is a muslim country with an official state religion of Islam. I won’t have to concern myself with fat-jokes at all because our dear Debs will be too busy screaming about the Islamo-terrists who are going to kill us all for her to notice that Bridget’s a bit on the chubby side. Yeah, I’ll be able to vent enough just on the religous intolerance that I probably won’t miss the fat-jokes.

[…] http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/9685.html#comment-621232… the fact that JiSM3 dumped his first wife (a former model who was disfigured in a car accident) for a woman 17 years younger (and much wealthier) I look forward to diaphanous’ efforts to push for more information about Vicki Iseman. […]

Clearly, red beans and rice didn’t miss her.

[…] http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/9685.html#comment-621679… the fact that JiSM3 dumped his first wife (a former model who was disfigured in a car accident) for a woman 17 years younger (and much wealthier) I look forward to diaphanous’ efforts to push for more information about Vicki Iseman. … […]

So this is the double chin of the unhinged zionist, islam obsessed bitch who hates “fat chicks” and brags about being a size one?!! No wonder she only circulates that one strategically taken picture of herself in that hideous blue tye dyed thing, and even threatens to sue people who use other pics of her, such as Huffpo.

Shwang wang? wang

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Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the
video to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking about,
why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when
you could be giving us something informative to read?