OMFG, We’re All Gonna Die!!!!!!!!!
Fraulein Schlüsselwurst, the perpetual embarrassment of her alma mater, the University of Wisconsin Law School, has predictably kicked into full hyperbole mode over today’s Supreme Court decision granting habeas corpus rights to Guantanamo detainees. To say that she’s gone batshit crazy would be unjustly defamatory to guano-drenched bat cave floors throughout the world, so we’ll just say that the opinion, which she hasn’t apparently read, has made her crazier than a junkyard dog in a fully-stocked meat locker:
At least five of the U.S. Supreme Court Justices announced to the global Islamic terrorist community that open season on America has officially begun.
Scene: A run-down apartment in Lahore, strewn with empty Red Bull cans and Big Mac wrappers.
Dramatis personæ: Larry Lahore and Izzie Islamabad, two wannabe terrorists.
Larry: Allahu Akbar, Izzie. It’s time to attack America!
Izzie: Are you nuts, Larry? You drink too much Red Bull and eat too many Big Macs.
Larry: No, Izzie, I just read in a newspaper that now we have habeas corpus rights in the Great Satan’s own land. Woohoo! I’m getting a one-way ticket to New York. No habeas corpus — that’s all that was keeping me from doing this earlier. Get packed.
Izzie: Larry, you’re so dumb that not even the 72 virgins in paradise will have sex with you. Do you even know what habeas corpus rights are?
Larry: Sure, Izzie, it’s the right to habeas your corpus. Everyone knows that. It’s the first thing you learn at madrassa.
Isaac: No, Mr. Hummus-Brain. It means if you sit in Guantanamo with a soldier’s rifle barrel up your butt for a few years, some federal judge hundreds of miles away will finally decide that they have probable cause to keep you at Guantanamo and you’ll sit around for another few years with that same barrel up your butt and with ladies’ panties on your face until you go to trial.
Larry: Oh. … (pause) … You wanna watch that Baywatch video again? I didn’t want to blow myself up anyway.
And even though Fraulein Schlüsselwurst allegedly went to law school she seems to know less about habeas corpus than either Larry Lahore or Izzie Islamabad. Get a load of this little gem of fractured jurisprudence:
But now, the Supreme Court has announced to world that every terrorist, no matter how bent on destroying America–and regardless of whether or not the terrorist had any contact with American soil–now has a right to their own three ring court circus, MC’d by some ringmaster clone of Judge Ito and attended by his/her posse of O.J. jury replications.
Just like there’s no crying in baseball, there are no juries in habeas corpus hearings. Oh, and another thing: If Fraulein Schlüsselwurst had read the opinion she would understand that the ruling applies only to detainees held at Guantanamo because of the unique degree of control that the United States exercises over Guantanamo. The decision doesn’t apply to enemy combatants held in foreign countries. So her little rant about “regardless of whether or not the terrorist had any contact with American soil” is, well, flat-out wrong.
But Fraulein Schlüsselwurst already has an excuse as to why she hasn’t read the opinion. It’s waaaay waaay waaay toooo long and booooooooooorrrrrring!
Oh, and by the way, the Kennedy decision was 70 pages. If you have to write seventy pages to justify a simple, absurd decision, you know you’re wrong. You’re just fertilizing.
Why bother to read the thing when you can just count the pages and know it’s wrong? I bet the Constitutional Law class at Wisconsin Law is pretty short. And the exam has one question: “Which opinion is longer, Roe v. Wade or Brown v. Board of Education?” I mean, Fraulein Schlüsselwurst is such an embarrassment to Wisconsin that I’d imagine she even makes the non-partisan Professor Althouse cringe.
And no post from Schlüsselwurst would be complete without a closing illustration to make a point that might be too subtle for the lip-movers that read her blog if it were written out in words:
Which means — I think — that because a jury let OJ go free because he had dark skin, then all juries will let all terrorists go free because they all have dark skin, although not as dark as OJ, but dark still, and we all know that dark people go free and juries just send white people to jail or something. Or wait, was OJ a terrorist? Did he kill Nicole because she was drinking which is forbidden by sharia law or something? Is that why the jury let him go free? Oh, it’s all so confusing, even in simplified picture form, but it still gets us back to one thing:
There are no juries in habeas corpus.
[Hanx to John Cole for sending me an email pointing out this gem from Debbie]
Well, she’s right, you know. We ARE all going to die.
Ahhh….fresh new thread. Oh, guess I should go read it now.
Thanks a lot. I will be having nightmares featuring that picture of Debbie Schlussel.
Mein Fuehrer! I can valk!
Oh wait, I did that in the last thread.
Major Bat Guano, if that is your real name,…
I thought you needed at least a few working brain cells to graduate from law school.
And here I was thinking Malkin was buggier than an entymology department. Shorter Schlussel: tldr BUT HERE’S MY OPINION ANYWAY OOGA BOOGA
And here I was thinking Malkin was buggier than
an entymology departmentMS Publisher 2.0.Fixed.
I guess there’s no way to convey her annoying nasal accent in that title, huh?
Oh my gaaaad, we’re all gonna dye!
No, that’s not it.
Is she still doing videos?
OJ Simpson was not the only rich man in history to escape justice, and the way wingnuts focus on him as if he was the only one is disturbing.
Oh Smut, life with you you must be more meaningful than an etymology department. Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!
the perpetual embarrassment of her alma mater University of Wisconsin Law School,
Come on man, any school that would hire Ann Althouse has no basic concept of “shame” to begin with. Schussellgruben is merely the dementia on the cake.
In space, no one can hear you appeal.
Oh — and habeus corpus, that whole thing? Even inbred English kings knew enough to abide by it. Our inbred BoyKing house idiot should man up and deal.
Or wait, was OJ a terrorist? Did he kill Nicole because she was drinking which is forbidden by sharia law or something?
Shania Law.
Jay, the House of Commons just narrowly passed a bill which allows people to be held without charges for 42 days, up from 28. The opposition said “so it’s goodbye to the Magna Carta is it?”
Wow.
That degree of professional misconduct brings to mind another wingnut gone overboard–Bill Frist.
Which is worse?
Diagnosing diseases outside your specialty by videotape?
Or deliberately adding the OJ element to a case where it cannot exist?
Astrud, those are not the fucking lyrics to “The Girl from Ipanema.”
Take two.
“habeus corpus, that whole thing? Even inbred English kings knew enough to abide by it.”
Yeah but Parliament just voted to take it away for up to 42 days. Yay neocons! Even British ones!
Forgot to change names again. Shit.
Y’know, there hasn’t been much wine, cuisine and whisky commentary lately. Hardly any fucking profanity either.
I found a little hole-in-the-wall bakery that’s my new favorite banh mi joint. Fabulous. It’s right behind one my favorite pho places and I never knew it!
foreskin
The link, Clif, you gotta give the link! Not only for Schlussel’s august opinion but also for the erudite comments.
Jay, the House of Commons just narrowly passed a bill which allows people to be held without charges for 42 days, up from 28. The opposition said “so it’s goodbye to the Magna Carta is it?”
Bully for them. I heard the House of Lords will shred it anyway.
Of course, Arlen “I’m a fucking chickenshit, what of it?” Specter said of the Military Commissions Act, the legislation that suspended habeus in this country: “[it] sets back basic rights by some 900 years” and was “patently unconstitutional on its face”
And then he voted in favor of it. Now that’s a man of conviction.
Damn you Astruuuud!!!!
more meaningful than an etymology department.
Surely life in an etymology department is the acme of excitement.
RODEN: Time, Pilch! My move.
PILCHER: No fair! You lured him with produce.
RODEN: Tough noogies! It’s still my turn. Nice and slow baby.
STARLING: If the beetle moves one of your men, does that still count?
RODEN: Of course it counts. How do you play?
The House of Lords can’t do anything to stop it, I hear. They can slow it down but that’s about it.
I’m so glad I no longer live in Pennsylvania; it’s great feeling no need to apologize for Arlen “One Bullet” Specter.
I realize this is Canadian wingnuttia, but it is the tourist season.
The day after a historic apology to Aboriginal people, Margaret Wente, an advocate of segration in schools and neoconservative social policies weighs in on the meaning of truth and reconciliation for the survivors of aboriginal residential schools. Let’s see what she has to say about it. In her opening paragraph she acknowledges:
“Of all the groups who deserve a government apology, the people who passed through Canada’s residential schools are by far the largest and most important. The schools inflicted misery and cruelty on thousands of defenceless children…Some were a magnet for sadists and child molesters…”
Then she hops in her hummer and drives straight to Crazy Town. To summarize her key points:
– I give you one example of an Aboriginal person who claims the residential school experience was wonderful. Proof of the good exists, my friends.
– Some guy claims there were ovens and mass graves. This is batshit crazy. Whoever heard of such a thing? Unproven claims put all accusations into doubt.
– Truth and Reconciliation costs money that could be better spent on assimilating the survivors.
– Focusing on the past never did anybody any good, including the Jewish survivors of the holocaust. But don’t take it from me, Margaret McMillan said so (a woman who has credibility because she shares my first name).
– Too bad the residential schools made “assimilation” a dirty word. If the kids hadn’t been abused sexually and physically, removing them from their parents and their cultures would have been a good thing because…native tribal life in the pre-colonial period was crap that we’ve idealized because we have misplaced guilt.
– In conclusion, the white people had the right idea. They made mistakes along the way. If the residential schools had just been schools teaching readin’ an ‘rithmetic we’d have a perfectly assimilated bunch of native people, indistinguishable from whites. Too bad we screwed up, but let’s move on! I’d really like to move on? Why can’t you people move on? You make me uncomfortable. Move on!
Surely you mean “entomology?” An etymology department wouldn’t be much fun at all. That’s what I think.
The latte-sipping intellectuals over at Lawyers, Guns and Money have a new guy, a Brit, writing for them of and he said that : “Thankfully for the UK, our unelected chamber, the House of Lords, will tear the bill to shreds once it’s submitted to them, at which point it will return to the House of Commons and the process will start again.”
So that’s what I was going on. If not, then Labour is a bunch of shitless, sackless, losers just like we have over here.
Thanks for the linkee to the decision, Clif!
Wanna know what I find funny about it?
I was at work all day, doing the million things that need to be done to close a school down, so I had access to neither TV nor internet all day. I heard about the decision from a friend I called while I was driving home – and I knew, without even looking, who the 4 dissenting justices were in the 5-4 split. I also knew, without even looking, that Scalia would’ve written his own damn dissent in this case – because I’m sure that Roberts’ dissent isn’t vituperous enough for him.
It’s like Scalia has morphed into a cartoon caricature of himself in the last six or eight years.
Is it the king of pho?
Comments on Schlussel’s are predictably psychopathic. She justs pokes a bit of raw meat at them and off they go. Cool little red heart graphics, very classy Well maybe the jury is out on that one.
At least five of the U.S. Supreme Court Justices announced to the global Islamic terrorist community that open season on America has officially begun.
Yes, because nothing frightens a suicide bomber like being locked up for the rest of their lives…
Oh, wait…
Why, exactly, are wingnuts so afraid of due process? If the guys are guilty, they’ll get locked up. If they guys haven’t actually done anything, then why should they be locked up?
If Dear Leader is even remotely competent in “gettin them terrists”, shouldn’t wingnuts be thrilled to have a court trial so he can demonstrate how awful these guys are and show off how dilligent he is?
So that’s what I was going on. If not, then Labour is a bunch of shitless, sackless, losers
I hate to break it to you, Jay B., but it was the UK Labour party that passed the 42-day detention-without-charge law, and the Conservative party voting against it (along with a number of Labour rebels, almost enough to defeat the bill).
An etymology department wouldn’t be much fun at all.
Are you antisemantic?
Why, exactly, are wingnuts so afraid of due process?
They hate America, that’s why.
Hi Cliff,
thanks for this post, it’s a great day that the SCOTUS is willing to reassert itself and uphold Habeas Corpus. Schlussel is contemptible, but could I ask you a favor? She’s an American. Please knock off the “Fraeulein” and “Schlusselwurst” bullshit. This is an American problem. The degradation of our legal and political traditions over the past several years was done by Americans. Americans need to be responsible for our own shit and correct it. Calling her “Schlusselwurst” is a chickshit way of implying that Germans are responsible for what’s wrong in our political culture. This is not the way to get healthy.
How do they drink their coffee in entomology departments?
Calling her “Schlusselwurst” is a chickshit way of implying that Germans are responsible for what’s wrong in our political culture.
I think it’s just making fun of her name, my self.
Wikpedia sez:
In her comments phparkman just hit a paranoid dinger at 7:29 PM. I checked the wartime survival list. Not enough TP, in my ignorant opinion.
Christ, Scalia’s dissent is a piece of pompous legal jackanapery.
First, he claims we’re “at war” with “radical Islamists”. For a Supreme Court justice, he’s surprisingly ignorant about what the Constitution actually says about states of war.
Then, he goes on to say that if Bush and Co. had known the detainees would have habeas rights, they would’ve stuck them all into secret prisons in Afghanistan in the first place, so this just isn’t fair.
He’s a moral toad.
Set up a couple more floating prisons and a few more overseas black sites. The annoyance of habeas corpus at Gitmo averted.
yeah, jillian, scalia’s not even trying to pretend he’s a judge anymore, is he? talk about your activist judges. what a scumbags those four pricks are.
Take Five.
Jay, the House of Commons just narrowly passed a bill which allows people to be held without charges for 42 days, up from 28. The opposition said “so it’s goodbye to the Magna Carta is it?”
Ain’t like it’s the first time. The Prevention of Terrorism Act of 1974 comes right to mind. I guess the lessons of the horrible miscarriages of justice visited on the Guildford Four under that act have been forgotten already.
Man, Shlussel is just beneath you. Really.
Antisemantic?
Nah, it’s related to the way I hear, it’s a semi-otic thing.
Almost every Scalia decision provides solid evidence for his impeachment. He’s contemptible.
I keep reading it, and my head keeps spinning.
Now, he’s insisting that Guantanamo is not U.S. soil.
So…..those soldiers stationed there are what? Cuban? Is it generally the case that U.S. military bases are not U.S. soil? Does that mean the U.S. soldiers there are subject to Cuban law? Does he even care if his arguments have any intellectual consistency anymore?
Gack. Must. stop. Head. hurts.
Oh fer chrissake, wake up and smell the entomologist’s coffee. Scalia made some totally far-fetched lame-assed argument to install the Dubya. And that was possibly the peak of his judicial sensibility.
It’s always encouraging when some random, smartass blogger (no offense) knows more about the law than, oh, I don’t know, a law school graduate.
BTW, I always get a kick out of the people who post comments one minute after a lengthy entry like this one is posted and profess to have actually read the thing.
I get the feeling that it wouldn’t take too much investigation to uncover quite a few legal skeletons in Scalia’s closet. He seems like the kinda guy who’s taking bribes from everyone who offers ’em, don’t he?
I’ve always thought we should impeach Supreme Court justices a bit more often, just to remind them that “appointed for life” doesn’t mean you can’t be carted off to prison…
AJB said,
OJ Simpson was not the only rich man in history to escape justice, and the way wingnuts focus on him as if he was the only one is disturbing.
But, he’s BLACK!!!!
Why, exactly, are wingnuts so afraid of due process? If the guys are guilty, they’ll get locked up. If they guys haven’t actually done anything, then why should they be locked up?
Well, Dorothy, because they might be found not guilty and released, LIKE O.J. SIMPSON OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
If Guantanimo falls under Cuban law, can’t we just get the detainees to denounce Castro so that they’ll be held by the Cubans?
-GSD
This isn’t just about Guantanamo or other secret sites or floating prisons or enemy non-combatants or any of that.
The Supreme Court just clarified that, no, the Constitution says that habeas corpus* applies except in actual cases of invasion & rebellion and there’s no playing around with that term.
It’s not just about those prisoners in Guantanamo.
It’s throwing out the Bush Jr. & Democratic-enabled approach to say that the President can legally disavow habeas corpus any time he feels it’s warranted, that he can define to whom it applies, and that he (or maybe she) will play around with any of the meanings, including of the terms “invasion”, or “rebellion”.
In other words, habeas is still an inherent check on government, not a luxury granted at whim to individuals.
*Spell check recommends “haberdasher corpus”.
Yeah, but I recommend “start drinking beer”.
Who’re you going to believe; me or that lying Spellcheck?
*Spell check recommends “haberdasher corpus”.
What the well-dressed stiff will be wearing this year.
Why, exactly, are wingnuts so afraid of due process?
There’s too much ‘process’ involved.
Can I say something?
I think I should say something.
I really think I should say this.
Because it will help me sleep at night.
Because it needs to be said.
So I’ll say it.
I’d bang Debbie Schlussel. Big time. I know, I know. I know everything. But I’d hit that regardless.
Carry on.
OK, I just threw up in my mouth. A lot.
As far as the Red Staters are concerned, the President should simply ignore the whole thing. The fact that these people share my country just depresses me. I’m going to think about puppies and rainbows for a minute………..ah, much better. Adorable puppies and beautiful rainbows and princesses riding unicorns. I love this country.
“The House of Lords can’t do anything to stop it, I hear. They can slow it down but that’s about it.”
Even if it goes through, someone will take it up in a lawsuit, and the high court has a track recording of overturning this sort of thing in recent years. It was the law lords who forced the government to back down on indefinite detention of suspects who couldn’t be deported.
I’d bang Debbie Schlussel. Big time. I know, I know. I know everything. But I’d hit that regardless.
Argh. But I was just puzzling over the same moral quandry in re: Mary Katherine Ham.
Doc, and D.N., you folks worry me sometimes.
But, but but…
They get VEAL PICCATA fer fucks sake.
What else do these muslim monkeys WANT?
mikey
It’s the slippery goddam slope, is what it is!
If rich black men can game the system, then Driving While Black is definitely in jeopardy.
Pat Buchannan is on MSNBC both going apesh*t on Obama for supporting giving terrorists rights — in fact those 5 liberal judges would have probably had German Nazi POW’s tried in American Courts! Pat & other douchebag called it the best thing that has happened for John McCain in a long time.
So clearly, the right thinks this can help bring out the base.
Obama! Liberals! Terrorist lovers! Yeahhhhhhhh!!!
I think MSNBC must have someone standing by with a bucket of water in case Pat Buchanan spontaneously combusts like a Spinal Tap drummer.
D.N. Nation:
It has been my experience that the crazy ones are often the best in bed, so make of that what you will.
Does John McCain think that baby rapers should have the privelege of a trial by jury, and maybe even the possibility of being set free to rape babies again????
If so, why does he like baby rapers so much? Why does he put the comfort of baby rapers above the safety of the American people? Who are YOU going to chose, John McCain? America, or filthy perverts who like to rape babies? Why haven’t you answered yet? And why don’t I have a copy of your birth certificate, IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE?
Dissenting Supremes be damned.
America should be proud of itself today.
You went a good stretch of the way back from the Kingdom of Darkness with this decision, & at this point, I’ll take any & all indications that outbreaks of modern civilization are imminent. This decision made me happy.
E-mail the majority Justices & thank them for defending the Reality-Based Community & judicial sanity, & encourage them to do more of the same.
Making pinheads like Debbie Schlussel have a shitfit (& put their judicial autism on view for the world to mock) is gravy.
Justice may be blind, but she’s smart – & smart girls are tres va-voom.
Spell check recommends “haberdasher corpus”.
We command you that the hat of [un-hatted], in your custody detained, as it is said, together with the day and cause of his caption and de-hatting, you safely have before [authorizing stylist], United States Arbiter of Style for the Fashion Court (Accessories), within the circuit and district aforesaid, to do and receive all and singular those things which the said arbiter shall then and there consider of him in this behalf; and have you then and there this writ.
More judicial activism!! Imagine changing the law by upholding centuries old rights. The nerve.
It has been my experience that the crazy ones are often the best in bed, so make of that what you will.
I must be pretty darn crazy then.
Schlussel’s assault on the basic principles of jury trial (which she thoughtfully projects onto habeas corpus hearings, compounding the ridiculousness) is shameful and unprofessional. If she passed the bar, she should be disbarred, and if she didn’t, the Bar Association should condemn her anyway.
El Cid said,
June 13, 2008 at 3:22
Pat Buchannan is on MSNBC both going apesh*t on Obama for supporting giving terrorists rights — in fact those 5 liberal judges would have probably had German Nazi POW’s tried in American Courts! Pat & other douchebag called it the best thing that has happened for John McCain in a long time.
The more wind Buchanan spends on this effort, the more I’m going to point and laugh this November.
I think
I mean, I don’t think I’m being clear enough. She’s portraying a sitting judge in good standing as an icon of corruption without evidence, she’s suggesting that trial judges are uniformly untrustworthy, she’s libeled a defendant who acquitted himself at trial and evidently felt it fit to recriminate every defendant in the country, she’s directly assaulted the very principle of trial by jury, and to make matters worse she’s indicated clearly that
(a) she is unaware of the difference between trial and motion, a deficiency as fundamental as a physician being unaware of the difference between muscle and bone; and
(b) she holds the principles which she swore to uphold in general and far-reaching contempt.
Further, her racist blather is a stain on her career, her nation, her race, her religion, and her civilization. While the latter four cannot kick her out, it is within both the purview and the interest of the first to do so.
“Oh, and by the way, the Kennedy decision was 70 pages. If you have to write seventy pages to justify a simple, absurd decision, you know you’re wrong. You’re just fertilizing.”
Interesting theory.
Wait, what’s this?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federalist_Papers
Go fuck yourself, whore.
C’mon, man. Batshittiness is bad for politics, but epic win in the sack. You know this.
C’mon, man. Batshittiness is bad for politics, but epic win in the sack. You know this.
I certainly hope neither you nor Doc Washboard had anything bad to say about the furries in the cigarskunk thread, because EWWWWWW.
I wouldn’t do her with Pantload’s penis.
I wouldn’t do her with Pantload’s penis.
Huh. Jonah may lose his virginity yet.
I mean, I don’t think I’m being clear enough.
Well let’s check, you said If she passed the bar, she should be disbarred, and if she didn’t, the Bar Association should condemn her anyway.
Upon sober and careful deliberation we find that you are absolute correct. We condemn Debbie Schlussel. And renounce her. And think she has teh cooties. And what’s more, we recommend that she write her ridiculous opinions on fresh crisp bond paper, then fold until it’s all sharp corners…
Hold on, hold on!
That’s quite a bummer, you know. So what this means is that President Obama’s posse won’t be able to scoop Debbie and Pat Buchanan in daylight and ship their pasty asses to Cuba for no apparent reason? And they are protesting? Head spinning…
My personal theory is Debbie Schussel is a Miss Piggy puppet that was brought to life after being used as a sex toy by Nixon and Kissinger.
The flaw in my theory is Debbie is 82, so she predates the Muppets.
Sure I did. Furries are fuckin’ weird.
The Schlussel is weird too. But also blonde and hawt. And not furry. HTH.
The narrowness of today’s decision should give great pause to all those wacky, unenlightened McCainocrats:
http://gopnot4me.blogspot.com/2008/06/mccainocrats-meteor-blades-dkos-has.html
“The rule of law will kill us all!” ???
Sheesh…
I mean, how can you not love this?
http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2008/06/latest_target_o.html
Item: NIMBYs get all pissy at loud ice cream trucks.
Schlussel’s interpretation of item: ISLAMOFASCISTSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
I mean, how can you not love this?
The correct response is, of course, very easily. Geez, would you stick it in apil of steaming feces if it was shaped nicely? And it’s not even if Schlussels shaped nicely.
sorry. apil = a pile. I’m just to icked out to type correctly. Ewwww.
Whoops. Didn’t even fic the name box on the correction. D’oh.
normally you wouldn’t call somebody CRAZY AS A SHITHOUSE RAT in a polite conversation, but this is the exception to that rule …
I think we all know what this ruling means. Mushroom clouds.
Just for record – left this comment at her site – we’ll see how long it stays up:
Wow – this post makes it clear that hospitalization is in your (very near) future. The decision does not by its plain language apply to enemy combatants held in foreign countries (which Guantanamo is not). So when you say that ‘regardless of whether or not the terrorist had any contact with American soil’ they have the writ is, well, wrong. Staggeringly wrong. Stupidly wrong.
Geeze – didn’t you pay attention in ConLaw? You need treatment. Please get some help.
Dare you to leave this comment up …
Posted by: blogenfreude [TypeKey Profile Page] at June 12, 2008 10:16 PM
My nipples are hard.
Thought I ought to share…
mikey
Debbie really is the apex of crazy, just goes to show what an old American girlfriend of mine said about passing the bar exam in certian univeristies; “… its harder to fail, than to pass…”…
So that’s what I was going on. If not, then Labour is a bunch of shitless, sackless, losers just like we have over here.
and the fuckers had to rely on the votes of the DUP, the fucken DUP* to get the measure through. the talk is that they promised them 1.3 billion pounds, not to introduce abortion in Northern Ireland and Guinness for life!
(*Democratic Unionist Party, run by the ever calm Ian Paisley)
Roberts. Scalia. Alito. Thomas.
Remember this the next time you hear an HC supporter vow to vote for McCain.
just goes to show what an old American girlfriend of mine said about passing the bar exam in certian univeristies; “… its harder to fail, than to pass…
Hmm… she may have meant that it is harder to fail out of some law schools than to pass. The bar exam is issued by the state bar associations and, while some states are more difficult than others, it is never a cakewalk. Do we have any evidence that Debbie did manage to pass the bar? If so, it looks like she’s suffered some head trauma since then.
In Wisconsin, if you go to UW law school and pass certain courses with adequate grades, you don’t have to take the bar. Just sayin’ ….
open season on America has officially begun.
That was declared in 1998 by Osama bin Laden and Ayman al-Zawahiri, free men.
In Wisconsin, if you go to UW law school and pass certain courses with adequate grades, you don’t have to take the bar. Just sayin’ ….
Now it all makes sense.
She could have graduated from law school (doctor of jurisprudence) but never even taken the bar, let alone passed it.
Hmmm . . . a trip to the Wisconsin State Bar Assn. returned this interesting information:
Deborah Karen Schlussel, license status: SUSPENDED However, it is a case of her not complying with continuing education, which may be because she no longer lives in Wisconsin.
Let’s take a trip to the Michigan State Bar Directory Sadly, and rather unbelievably, she seems to be a member of the Michigan Bar in good standing.
Jebus, she passed at least one bar exam . . .
Haalp us!
Or maybe not. I see that, as Blogenfreude said above, Wisconsin has “Diploma Privilege”, and Michigan allows lawyers to obtain licenses if they have practiced in another state for a period of time.
It’s possible, I guess, that she never, ever took a bar exam.
Like Bush, the C+ Augustus, she could be a C+ barrister.
(gag)
Schlussel’s ass
ault on the basic principles of jury trial…Fixed. For the benefit of D.N.Nation.
Also, retailers are reporting a spike in sales of adult diapers today.
Fuckin’ Cheeseheads and their unexamed lawyers. They’re going to give the profession a bad name. Oh wait…
(Hope you’re staying high and dry Candy!)
We’re fine in the Drake, MileHi. It’s been ugly in other areas. At least we still have Teh Water.
Has there ever been a more fun basketball game to watch.
In the words of bobo friedman, Kobe, Suck. On. This….
mikey
Roberts. Scalia. Alito. Thomas.
Remember this the next time you hear an HC supporter vow to vote for McCain.
Or just offer to lay in a supply of coathangers for them (or their daughter(s)).
Fuck! Forgot about the game!
Yes!
Yep, this is an EPIC choke.
I dunno, DN.
The celtics REALLY turned it on in the third. That erased the first. Now, it’s guts, brains and refs…
mikey
21 point lead in the 1st quarter. 21 points!
20 point lead in the 3rd quarter!
Woo!!
Hoo!!
I’m sorry.
What were we talking about?
mikey
I always felt bad for Kevin Garnett…well as bad as I could feel for a gazillionaire who was simultaneously his team’s only chance and the guy who ruined its chances to add talent…what was I saying? Oh, GO KG!
Do I have to give Danny Ainge credit for stuff now?
No, but you don’t need to credit any damn zen master either…
mikey
Roberts, Scalia, Thomas, Alito. When President Obama’s team starts handing out summons of impeachment, I hope all four of these men are among the first ten recipients.
I guess there’s no way to convey her annoying nasal accent in that title, huh?
I was a proud Michigander for many years, and the standing joke concerning that nominative form is that everyone who grows up in the state… tends to honk. Now I am a
MassholeMassachusetts citizen, like yourself, Mr. RWS. Were you aware that hearing a Commonwealth native (mis)pronounce phrases like laaawrrrrrrr an’ aw-dah is a never-failing source of entertainment to our Midwestern fellows?Alright! Another box of Little Debbie® Hate Cakes.
This one seems to be packaged in a box commemorating the women of the SS
Yeah, I get a kick out of that, too. What’s their hurry? I can post hours after an entry without having read it.
We are not amused.
Hmm… she may have meant that it is harder to fail out of some law schools than to pass. The bar exam is issued by the state bar associations and, while some states are more difficult than others, it is never a cakewalk. Do we have any evidence that Debbie did manage to pass the bar? If so, it looks like she’s suffered some head trauma since then.
Apologies, that was a shit quotation, I sat up till 4am local time, watching Austria – Poland (I know, I know). What I meant was the law exams, rather than anything else. She had friend in the legal profession in AZ, and claimed that it was fairly easy to pass the actual law exams, so much so, that I scored 52% on one of them one afternoon. As for the ‘bar exam’, that may be different, I suppose.
As for Debbie (and every other rightard whining about this ruling), it isn’t that they are think (although a lot are), they are just so blinded by their politics.
21 point lead in the 1st quarter. 21 points!
thats a big lead for baseball, or dodgeball, or whatever you are talking about
and I meant ‘thick’, not ‘think’ above, i’m going for a lie down…….
Law lords. That is so cool.
Aaaaaaaaaand the Attorney General sez…
Yo, Supremes! Fuck you in the neck.
But that’s hardly surprising, now is it?
fuck. missed that phone booth by that much
Okay. The Magna Carta is going to be eight centuries old in a few years.
I hate how all the people who are against… well, any rights at all act like “But, maybe a bad guy won’t be punished!!!” is some kind of new, forceful argument. Uh, yeah, I think maybe that thought has probably occurred to somebody at least once in the last several hundred years.
It’s a pretty huge fucking insult to the Founding Fathers, too, like they were too fucking braindead to realize that if due process applies to everybody, it also applies to criminals.
In grade school we learn the logic of all this. Why is it so damn hard for these people to grasp?
Hey, our laws for house arrest and indefinite detention without charge are no harsher than those of the US and the UKA! Why is everyone complaining?
I must admit, I’ve been thinking similar things about Malkin. That woman is one smokin’ hot wingnut. Damn.
DN Nation
Looking at Schlussel’s ice cream truck post, i found this absolute gem in the comments:
“Seems you lack knowledge to a part of Spain’s history.
Please, go read about “El Sid””
Why is it that I need to read wingnut discussions of history with a huge, assumed “[sic]” hanging over whatever they write?
Shorter Debbie Strussel: Court opinions shouldn’t be longer than the commercial breaks during 24.
Wow. A person who complains about the length of a Supreme Court ruling has never read a Supreme Court ruling and certainly does not understand jack shit about the importance of Supreme Court rulings. But, yes. Dumbshits do get into and graduate from Law School. See: Dan Quayle.
I have an opinion of Debbie. And it’s short.
crazier than a junkyard dog in a fully-stocked meat locker:
That reminds me, what’s for dinner?
Okay. The Magna Carta is going to be eight centuries old in a few years.
But a large part of the population is willing… nay, demands! that it be taken away so that we can make darkies suffer faster.
Its like that Simpsons where Homer’s union trades away all the hard-faught victories of the labor movement for a keg of beer. Actually, that episode is a pretty good metaphor for the Bush presidency generally.
For.
The.
Win.
OT: Malkin thought the Iraq-puppy video was fake. Now the Marines have expelled & punished the soldiers involved.
How will she reply…maybe “More proof of Islamo-infiltration of USMC”?
http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20080612/puppy_video_080612/20080612?hub=World
The fact is, Islamists and Liberals are working together to destroy America. Here in the heartland, neither ilk is welcomed. They want us to worship false Gods, to be sensitive in time of war, to surrender. We will never.
Some words of wisdom from the comment section over at the German harpie’s website:
Idiots that pine for the gitmo detainees will have a hard time dealing with the down fall of this society that is sure to follow a horrible ruling.The amount of intelligence gathered from these subhumans in captivity can’t be measured.
Makes me want to puke my guts out. Luckily, after reading her crap, I’m all but empty already…
I must admit, I’ve been thinking similar things about Malkin. That woman is one smokin’ hot wingnut. Damn.
Okay, first I don’t want to come off sounding like that guy who posts on the interwebs that he wouldn’t do Shania Twain ‘cuz she’s too old, or he’d only do Scarlett Johanssen if she had a paper bag over her head. Because those guys can eat shit and die. Seriously, they can eat shit. And then die.
But you guys have to grow some standards. When women say all men are pigs, it’s you guys that give that argument legs. Come on. I appreciate that this all in the realm of crazy fantasy land, but you know what evil lurks under that surface. Lusting after some hot chick is perfectly natural, but doing so when you know that just under the surface is a festering pit of crazy hate is something else entirely.
Now that that’s out of the way, I do have to say that Malkin at least comes off as knowing what to do with a big bag of dicks if she ever came
on top ofupon one. Maybe someone can post the MM down in flames pic again so we can comment on her hot ass.But you guys have to grow some standards. When women say all men are pigs, it’s you guys that give that argument legs. Come on. I appreciate that this all in the realm of crazy fantasy land, but you know what evil lurks under that surface. Lusting after some hot chick is perfectly natural, but doing so when you know that just under the surface is a festering pit of crazy hate is something else entirely.
Point taken. Though, to be fair, I don’t think anyone is truly planning to have a rendezvous with either Michelle Malkin or Ms. Schlussel.
Apologies if I’ve offended any of the women posting here.
How is it all these nutbags insist on seeing habeas corpus as an individual “right” (and thus in their view a gift to be granted at whim) when in the Constitution it’s clearly a restriction on government?
OT: Malkin thought the Iraq-puppy video was fake. Now the Marines have expelled & punished the soldiers involved.
It’s funny in a sick way, or the other way around…
But I was musing this morning that this must be something the wingnuts would draw a line on… I mean, in the name of all that’s holy, puppy torture has GOT to be something they have to be against.
And they are.
But just barely.
(And I speak as someone who got very upset over it… this is what happens when we let psychos into the service, and give them guns. I mean, that is a bad thing, isn’t it?)
The stupid … it burns! It burns!!!!!
Yes Chief Justice Roberts, the MCA is the most generous set of procedural protections ever afforded to the disappeared.
It’s not like this is going to help many of the people in Camp X-Ray anyways. I mean without knowing who’s down there and with them having little or no access to anything outside their itty-bitty cages let alone legal representation, who the hell’s going to file a writ for them. Please, someone tell me that I’m interpreting this decision wrong.
I think that if terrorist attacks don’t increase in the wake of this decision, say over the next month or so, then for the sake of intellectual integrity, Scalia should volunteer to be beheaded. A simple apology for threatening Americans in order to justify squashing human rights and a formal rescanting of his position would also suffice.
Geez, who pissed in my coffee this morning. I’m going to chill out a bit, maybe do some actual work or something until I calm down.
YEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes I can’t take it.
They’re just too crazy.
I’m just fucking speechless.
And they just go on rambling about “unlawful combatants” as if that isn’t just some newspeak they pulled ot of their ass a few years ago to try to create an entirely new legal category of people teh Bush wants to fuck with. It’s just fucking sick. They are either prisoners of war or criminals, there is no third category. STOP IT.
I went and read the article and then read the batshit crazy comments— Hate the Moslems! Hate the liberals! Don’t even know what habeus corpus means!
These fucktards make Gary Ruppert seem the voice of moderation.
Oh and by the way, the word for Debbie ain’t “hot”, it’s “used”.
and by “they” I’m including four members of the US Supreme Court.
this is what we’ve come to.
But yeah, der Shlusselfruaen’s kinda hot.
They want us to worship false Gods,
and it worked! You adore George Bush. See how easily they won?
No no. I don’t get it. sorry, guys.
One) – I don’t get how you could be hot for people as fucked up as Malkin and Schussel, no matter what they look like
Two) I just scrolled up and looked at the picture of Schussel. I don’t get how you could be hot for her even if she weren’t fucked up.
The German spies who came to the US in 1942 were given a trial by military tribunal within a couple of months of their capture. They were given the opportunity to have a legal defense. They were not held in prisons and tortured for years. The spies who cooperated with the US government were given life sentences which were commuted after 6 years. The others were executed but they were given a fair trial first.
They are either prisoners of war or criminals, there is no third category.
Exactly. And what is with all this bullshit about them not being American citizens? So we either try them here or extradite them to their own countries. You know, like we already do, all the freakin’ time.
Do they think that Americans are safe from arbitrary new legal categories once we start down that road?
I don’t get how you could be hot for her even if she weren’t fucked up.
I don’t swing that way, but I’ll bet it has to do with her mouth. It looks quite spacious and accommodating.
Don’t forget: if the government can claim the right to determine who and who is not worthy of habeas corpus by playing around with games about terms like “enemy combatants” or “war on terror”, it means they can play the same games on you, too.
Something tells me, though, that our Great American Patriot Conservatives who want to cut through every law in America to catch the devil terrorists will soon re-discover the value of Constitutional restrictions on government authority — such as habeas corpus — when it’s President Barack Hussein Obama X and his Soul Sistah Security Squad declaring it’s time to put away all those jive motha-f***as who called him a crack dealer and an Indonesian terrorist.
One) – I don’t get how you could be hot for people as fucked up as Malkin and Schussel, no matter what they look like
Oh come on. If it’s a cliche for good girls to like bad boys – hello patriarchy! – then we get a shot at stupidity too.
This is a letter I wrote to the NY Daily News today:
Your headline in the paper on June 13th (“Gitmo Thugs Get U.S. Rights”) shows a profound failure to understand what America is all about. The “Gitmo thugs” did not get U.S. rights. The Supreme Court acknowledged that the prisoners in Gitmo have the same inalienable rights that all people have. When Thomas Jefferson wrote and our founding fathers ratified the Declaration of Independence, they were not claiming special rights because they were living in the 13 colonies. They were claiming that as human beings they had certain rights that could not be removed from them by any act of Parliament. When we have reached the point that we think we can put anyone in prison and hold them there as long as we want with no recourse for them, then we have stopped being the nation that was founded in 1776.
Bad dye job, split ends, a little pudgy, droopy eyes, lolligag expression…
Umm…
Smokin’!!11!!!
I saw Malkin speak a few years back. At the campus bar later that night, an acquaintance told me that that he was hoping she would show up so that he could buy her a beer. Not because he agreed with her, but because it would make her talk more, and the more batshit she spewed, the hotter she seemed. At least to him. Some people like S&M. I guess others like their pain more political.
It’s worth noting that the more beer HE drank, the more he repeated this.
Whooo Heee, that bitch is crazy!
It drives me absolutely crazy when people who consider themselves to be Jews are in favor of secret evidence, etc. Have these people not heard of the Dreyfuss case?
[“No, they haven’t” – Clif]
I liked Dreyfuss in Jaws. I found him a bit annoying in What About Bob, though. His agent should have advised him to pass up on that script.
If it’s a cliche for good girls to like bad boys – hello patriarchy! – then we get a shot at stupidity too.
I guess it’s kind of like the Worst Girlfriend in the World
He was ‘sposed to be annoying in What About Bob. Mission Accomplished!
Yeah well….poopie!
That’s all I got.
I keep wondering. It’s hard to believe that these people who go all apeshit over terrorists are actually that cowardly.
I know that there’s a group of right wingers, like Cheney and the other original neocons, who knew that turning us all into cowards would allow them to use fear like a whip to control our foreign policy to their benefit. They aren’t fearful themselves — fear is for the sheeple.
And I know there are many ordinary people who watched too much Fox News and were weak and became complete cowards. Enough to give the neocons exactly what they wanted for several years.
But there seems to be another group in between the two. They don’t seem clever enough to react as they do while knowing it’s all bullshit, and yet they seem to sense that fearmongering gives them personal power over others. They’re the most interesting, because when they go into fullblown fearmongering mode, it seems like they really believe what they’re saying, but they don’t give off fearful vibes. Their ability to project fear gives them power… or something.
Anyway, it’s interesting that they go so far in redefining patriotism in terms of fear. Now, whoever shits his pants the worst when thinking about Muslims — that’s the one who wins the gold star.
Yo, fake German writers. Take heed. Fraulein, nein. Fräulein, ja. If you can find the umlaut for Schlüßel, you can find it for fräulein.
“I’d bang Debbie Schlussel.”
Are you sure?
“I’d bang Debbie Schlussel.”
Are you sure?
Now just imagine if she scraped all that makeup off.
Now just imagine if she scraped all that makeup off
Yeah Debs, stop plastering it on like a trollop, you cunt.
In dissent, Chief Justice John Roberts criticized his colleagues for striking down what he called “the most generous set of procedural protections ever afforded aliens detained by this country as enemy combatants.”
But isn’t it true that, before Guantanamo, approximately zero people were detailed in this country as “enemy combatants”? I mean, what he is saying is ridiculous. They are the only set of procedural protections ever afforded aliens detained by this country as enemy combatants. That doesn’t mean anything in the end.
This is “judicial activism” at work, people. Stuff like this and Scalia’s Redstate.com screed is not jurisprudence, it is right wing soldiers pushing far right doctrine onto a public that doesn’t want it and law that does not tolerate it. I can’t believe there aren’t people out on the airwaves of our liberal media saying this.
Yeah Debs, stop plastering it on…
Too much? Too subtle? Well, as RB stated so well in the Applebaum thread:
The deletionist can feel free to delete my comment as well if they like.
I liked it, !=mba
But do you realize you initials almost spell NAMBLA?
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=450b0d8a001b2151c7d1173079006c39
But do you realize you initials almost spell NAMBLA?
No I didn’t. I’d change it, but the only other name that appeals right now is Dragon-King Wangchuck, and I fear that his draconian majesty might mind.
Thank God there’s still a bare majority of decent people on SCOTUS.
Thank God there’s still a bare majority of decent people on SCOTUS.
If they get any worse, Ima gonna start callin’ ’em SCROTUS.
,,Well, as RB stated so well in the Applebaum thread:
The deletionist can feel free to delete my comment as well if they like.
I missed that. Did RB call his dead donkey a cunt again? I hope he finds closure one day but that ain’t no way to be talking about a dead donkey.
Fuck it. Like I care about what the real Dragon King Wangchuck thinks. I’ll switch back for McArdle, but not until then.
.
.
.
.
PENIS
Alas, I didn’t mean to make you change your name.
A gem from the Comments on Schlessel’s post:
“I’ve prepared and urged others to prepare since 2003. Almost everyone I’ve exhorted to prepare has laughed it off, saying I was nuts. Now some folks told me today and yesterday they wish they’d listen
Same thing with Noah in Genesis. For 120 years he told folks to repent while building and stocking the ark. They kept up their riotous living until the floods came and they all drowned. I though people were smarter than to let this repeat. If there is little food, fuel, clothing – then what kind of success or intelligence can you claim!? Starving men and women who had the chance for storing a year’s supply and blew it with stupidity are just that – stupid!”
[okay… wait for it…]
“Check out the blog link for basics on storage and preparations.”
Yeah, so basically: Habeus Corpus = The Flood. Let’s all go hide in our bomb shelters…
Alas, I didn’t mean to make you change your name.
No prob. I like Dragon-King Wangchuck better anyways, well except I’ll still be without an mba for my rare comments at Crooked Timber. I think it fits great over there since the difference between the trolls and the regulars is tenure.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE WE’RE ALL GOING TO-
so anyway, who else is watching Battlestar tonight? From their bomb-proof basement of course.
No no. I don’t get it. sorry, guys.
g: They’re guys. How disheartening is it that even the hetero guys here could possibly fathom such a thing? It’s like if you or I said we found, for example, Tucker Carlson hot. Which actually I do, and I am ashamed to admit it.
At least it’s not like I found Confederate Wankee hot. [shudder] Which is, revoltingly, what for many would pass for hot down here in teh bible belt.
Far be it the US supreme court to require that the Administration prove to them that they’re holding prisoners on US soil for just cause.
We wouldn’t want to have to prove that these people were terrorists before torturing them, or something.
I can’t think of many hot wingnut men. Mel Gibson, I guess.
Jonah might not be bad if he worked out (a lot) and lost sammich excess (a lot).
But I’d do Jonah before Debbie. She’s just the type to give you a disease.
Tucker isn’t bad. Neither is Dennis Miller, now that I think of it.
It’s the beer talking.
How about Ron Silver?
Ron Silver? Um, no.
yark
He’s like, famous and stuff though.
I’d do Prussian Blue, if they were ten years older and not Nazis.
I’m trying really hard to think of a wingnut I’d do. umm…maybe?…no, hell no…how about…ohmygodfuckno!…
Damn you, non-shallow estrogen-driven sensibilities!
Its easy.
Bo Derek
Duh.
Wait. It occurs to me that MzNicky is prolly not a dude.
how a bout a dreamy young Chuck Heston
Shit.
It just occured to me that not only is MzNicky not a dude, she prolly ain’t a necrophiliac.
Ted Nugent?
But I’d do Jonah before Debbie. She’s just the type to give you a disease.
I was under the impression that much of the appeal of right-wing dudes was the fact that they are not vectors of STDs.
Well there is an exception to every rule, and the rule against fucking the brains out of those who are fucking out of their minds has one devoutly psycho exception.
Her latest column starts with a tease
Oh! Say it’s true MJ’. Tell me that you’ve renounced your batshit crazy ways, that the mighty power of Dragon-King Wangchuck has made you become liberal in ways other than hoarding delusions.
Oh well. At least we might get a kick out of seeing where this goes….
I see, although you’ve been digging up dirt, innuendo and rumors on Obama, and some people had to watch through countless hours culled from years of Wright sermons to put together a short hate clip, who knows what skeletons are in his closet. Maybe he likes doing stuff with wetsuits, maybe he has a whole second family. Maybe he’s muslim! Gee, I’m glad that the Clintonites didn’t start any crazy memes that the wingnuts are going to pick up and drive into the well vetted ground. Oh and nice shoutout to Ruppert.
Hey, not only is Barry black, but a lot of his friends are too. So it’s a-ok to be racist, he’s not just a guy who happens to be black, but he’s a black guy with black associates, and a black family and blackity-black-black!
In other words, all you true believers don’t need proof to dislike Obama, unlike those unbelieving, faithless negroes at Trinity United, who are hurtful and black.
Phew. Too much Marie Jon’ at one time. Gotta take a break, if I smoked, now would be a good time to light one up. Maybe a shower and a nap.
Ted Nugent?
Back in the day, oh hell yeah. Mel Gibson also was smokin’ hot at one time. There’s just something about batshit crazy Neanderthal doughbrains, though, that turns me off. Go figure.
70 pages? Sounds like a font size problem.
I have it on good authority (close friend) that Ted’s little ted is more than a bit substandard. Go figure.
The Nooge was one of the most polite famous people I met, though. Always made me wonder just how much of his shit is an act. Not that I care or that it matters, existentially speaking.
I was under the impression that much of the appeal of right-wing dudes was the fact that they are not vectors of STDs.
That would be central to my point, Smut Clyde.
I actually know women who think Scott Stapp is hot.
Okay, I’m going to go clean the bathroom now. It’s less disgusting than thinking about Scott Stapp in those terms. I apoligize for any resulting mental images the Sadly,No! community may suffer.
I actually know women who think Scott Stapp is hot.
Now all we need is someone to mention furries and say that giant sammiches are attractive and we’ll have reached thread perfection.
Now all we need is someone to mention furries and say that giant sammiches are attractive and we’ll have reached thread perfection.
I wonder if there’s a community for people who dress up like giant sammitches for, you know, sexual gratification.
I wonder if there’s a community for people who dress up like giant sammitches for, you know, sexual gratification.
I don’t think you noticed Mayor McCheese’s eyebrows when he started talking about the Hambuggerer.
I don’t think you noticed Mayor McCheese’s eyebrows when he started talking about the Hambuggerer.
Ugh. I didn’t, but I will now.
He is the epitome of what we’ve seen through the prism of those with whom he has chosen to associate
I don’t know what this sentence means, but it sure is purty.