The Pursuit of Dappiness
As I’m sure you all know, very little in life gives me more pleasure than stupid people getting incredibly irate over totally meaningless things. It’s the reason I post on this site. So when Michelle Obama threw the dap at her husband a few days ago, I prayed a tiny little pray to my good friend Jesus: “Dear Lord in Heaven above,” I said, “If you love me the way I love you, you will let crazy right-wingers totally flip their shit over this utterly noncontroversial event.”
Well, folks, I don’t know about you, but I have proof that Jesus loves me, because not only did every square-butted news magazine in America stand agog and write a hilariously embarrassing “What is this crazy Negro fist-bump, anyway?” article, but enough Fightin’ Keyboarders percieved in the dap elements of gang affiliation, foreign nationialism or terrorist sympathy to keep me in tears all weekend.
To be fair to the wingnuts, most of them focused on the fact that a big deal is being made over nothing, and that the excessive coverage of Barry Obama and his wife throwing dap is sort of embarrassing. This is true, but it’s not funny. So, to be unfair to the wingnuts, many of them reacted exactly the way I hoped they would. Let’s watch!
Above: what really happened, and how the wingnuts saw it
Now, you know and I know that the dap, which even white people have been using since Tupac had a split-level fade, is about as harmless a gesture as the pound (for which it has often been confused during discussions of this non-event by white people). You may even recall seeing living proof of this on The Office, where Oscar and Kevin, not exactly the two most street-savvy characters on the show, exchange it from time to time after getting one over on Angela. But to some people — and by “people”, here, I mean “Freepers” — it’s still a symbol that as soon as Obama takes office, he’s going to go all Robert Mugabe on us:
The “fist bump” is just short of gang signing. Nice going Barry. (“carter”)
***
Fist bump? How charming. And what a marvelous example for all the black kids in projects all over the country…especially Chicago. It legitimizes being a thug and a punk. Nice. (“RexBeach”)
***
A kiss and a hug with your wife is appropriate. A fist pump??….spells Wright’s followers. (“Sacajaweau”)
***
It is more evidence of the penetration and corruption of our dominant culture by the minority. There will be a lot more of this if Obama gets into the White House. (“Ffranco”)
Meanwhile, over at Stop the ACLU, truck-window pinup queen Cassy Fiano is inspired to ‘80s-isms of her own, saying “gag me” at the Obama’s dap display; her commenters are even more blunt, calling the couple “getto [sic]” and expressing fears that next up are “a pimped-out Escalade”, “Spinners on the Presidential Limo”, “grafitti [sic] on Air Force One”, and “pants down around their butts”. Jenn at the Political Jungle finds it necessary to call one of the Obamas, though it’s not clear whether she means Barack or Michelle, a “Long Legged Pimp”, and a delightful “What Black People Are Up To Today” feature on Good Morning Yahoo! also lets the worms crawl out of the woodwork with comments like these:
THE NEXT THING WILL BE A BACKWARD BASEBALL HAT WITH USA FACING TO THE REAR. WILL THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER SOON BE A RAP SONG. (“CDM”)
***
I love the idea of a racist mullato being president. History has shown repeatedly, when Whites set up new countries and then give the control to the blacks, or any non-White race, it will soon collapse into another third world catastrophe. This is exactly what this ‘politically correct’ country needs so people will wake up. I hope OBAMA throws hip hop concerts on the White house lawn! (“heathengrafix”)
***
Obama’s wife is so ghetto!!! Our country will be in big trouble if he is elected!!! A video will be coming out of her telling “whitey to die”. Meaning white people! Higher taxes!!! Barack Hussein Obama??? A Muslim president??? We are fighting Muslim’s in Iraq for goodness sake!!! Come on people! (“Mark”)
***
At least Gore acted like a human. I can’t be denied that just about all their dance moves , walks and crazy handshakes mimik some kind of animal motion. What’s next? the knee in the crotch-hands above the head greeting? or maybe the Elbow thing. Putin will love that. If Prsident Obama disapproves of something will he be grabbing his balls with both hands and telling people where to go? (“cl652000”)
***
Another dispaly how Black “keep it real”-real dumb. Picture Obama and wife having to meet world dignitaries. 1st of all this Punk of a wanna-be presient doesn’t even salute his OWN flag. that will look retarted when the national anthem is played as he stands in front of other world officals. He never mentions race yet he acts more Black everyday. Russia China & Korea come! makes us all slaves now. (“Donnie O.”)
***
You got to be kidding, The fist “bump”, .America “WAKE UP”, You are getting your first taste of what it is going to be like electing Barack HUSSEIN Obama for president. Next you are going to see southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as your daily meal. Let’s not forget what Obama’s middle name is, funny thing, he never wants to use his middle name on his campaign. (“hoooch71”)
***
I find it to be tacky furthermore, it lessens the formal class of the White House. This is exactly what we are possibly letting into our nations leadership. I expect next we may see white house orchestra begin playing “hip hop”. If Obama is elected, I am retiring to the Bahama’s. (“jrw315”)
Amazing! All very informative stuff, but look – we all know that Barack and Michelle Obama are low-class ignorant ghetto gangstas. All you have to do is look at them to know that. The real question is, how does this alien fist-bumping gesture tie into their support of America-hating terrorists? At first, it seemed like granite-headed ex-dignitary Cal Thomas would clear it up for us; his column in Human Events was the first reference we could find to the dap as “’Hezbollah-style’ fist-jabbing”. But apparently, the comment became such an instant laughing-stock that it was removed from the HE website; it’s not even clear whether Thomas himself said it, or if it was a commenter. Less ambiguous, however, were our truth-seeking friends at FOX News; their E.D. Hill teased a typically Melvinish “what does this hep gesture mean to America, Chet?” segment by asking if what the Obamas force on our virgin eyes was “a fist bump? A pound? A terrorist fist jab?”
Strangely enough, Hill didn’t mention terrorist fist jabs in the actual piece, leaving millions of Americans uncertain as to whether major league baseball players are sending secret signals to their al-Q’aeda masters following every home run. Come on, FOX! You’re supposed to be on our side!
Give them some credit. They know tacky.
Heh heh heh.
’Hezbollah-style’ fist-jabbing”
A complicated dance move, and part of a sequence which includes ‘the Nasrallah nudge’ and ‘the Katyusha splits kick’.
Obama’s first State of The Union address: “Yo, mad props to my peeps from the White Hizzouse. Smooth word to your mother; let’s implement a policy that exploits the color.”
“History has shown repeatedly, when Whites set up new countries and then give the control to the blacks, or any non-White race, it will soon collapse into another third world catastrophe.”
History has shown that there has never been a mud troglodyte country that’s ever accomplished anything or ever been anything more than a third world catastrophe.
Also, those lazy, greedy, criminally inclined mulattoes are the real racists!
I’m still shocked that people like this actually exist. Why hasn’t John McCain and NRO denounced and rejected them yet? Never mind, I think I know the answer.
Obama issues tax rebates to all Americans; claims they “earned that bump like a motherfucker”
…and speaking of the Middle East, has Obama’s latest AIPAC speech tripped into the memory hole already. Admitedly he didn’t get quite the fawning reception afforded Johnny McCain but what sort of people hears that and thinks ‘aha, this man is planning abandon Israel and cede Uncle Sam’s territory to the Caliphate! Flee!’
That last one was full of typos. Apologies.
Fixed.
After Jason Giambi hit a homerun this afternoon, I think I saw him touch knuckles with Hideki Matsui. Now, Matsui, I can understand. He’s not even white, which by definition means that he is not American. On the other hand, Giambi is white, and therefor a proper American. I will be watchful of this dizzying trend. As should we all be. I will catalog every fist-touching among baseball players from now on.
If Obama is elected, I am retiring to the Bahama’s.
You might want to check the islands’ demography first, jrw315.
Your post proves you are racist against white people, as I’m sure someone will soon point out.
I heard that Obama was pushing for a “freestyle battle” rule in any upcoming debates with John McCain. All comments and replies must last no more than two minutes, be in rhyming meter and accompanied by a beat to be chosen by both parties beforehand. If no beat can be agreed to, snippets of James Brown’s “Funky Drummer” will be employed. Debate winners will be based on audience acclamation for the “illest” rhymes and most concise policy summarizations.
You forget that Giambi is one of them greasy wops. You can’t trust them.
So how to interpret the forearm bash? And what about José Reyes’ little dance?
I dunno Legalize, “Giambi” sounds like one of those slovenly Mediterraneans. If they are white it’s only just barely. Well as long he’s not some fucking mick or pollack or something.
Wow, can you be more humorless than the wingnuts? Oh, that’s right, “Half-Hour News Hour”.
Baseball has always been sympathetic to terrorists: they don’t call it the suicide squeeze for nothing.
Man, me too, heathengrafix!
Seeing as how he’s from Chicago and all, do you think it will be sort of Kanye/Common/Lupe Fiasco blowout?
Or will it be a celebration of artists from states he’s won?
Also, I’m deeply saddened to see that none of them haplessly referred to it as “fisting.”
I’m deeply saddened to see that none of them haplessly referred to it as “fisting.”
Nah, you would only have seen references to “fisting” if Hillary were the nominee.
I don’t understand all the confusion. Everybody (at NoQuarter) knows that the dap means:
‘You betta git me mah money, ho.”
To be fair (well, not really), a lot of that is pretty much how I’ve felt about the rise to political prominence of people who think a tie is made out of a string and a rock.
Of course I really doubt the people worrying about the dap or uh “gang signs” were worried that Bush would put steer horns on Limo One.
If Obama is elected, I am retiring to the Bahama’s.
OMG, I can’t stand the suspense, retiring to the Bahama’s WHAT?!!
If Barack HUSSEIN Obama is elected, the Statue of Libery will be replaced by a giant replica of Aunt Jemima.
Do you liberals want that?
Liberals. Hmf.
Anyway, I think I’d be a great class president. So, who wants to eat chiminichangas next year? Not me. See, with me it will be summer all year long. Vote for Summer.
I heard that Obama was pushing for a “freestyle battle” rule in any upcoming debates with John McCain.
The Dozens Debates will be must-see TV.
I’m with J– and tigrismus, that guy is gonna get a BIG surprise once he lands in Nassau ;;)
My favorite:
You see, ‘whitey’ is such an awful terrible slur, so offensive, so over-the-line, and so hurtful to white people, that the poster has to explain what it means!
If Michelle Obama has never said ‘whitey’ in her life, these people have now given her every right to say it whenever she wants.
Would it talk, like the one on the teevee?
If so, yes. I’ve always wanted a talking statute in the New York Harbor.
Really! Granite-headed? I always thought he looked more like a giant slab of loosely-draped jowel with a hamburger patty shaped toupee, sphincter-like eyes and a bitchy little mustache.
it lessens the formal class of the White House
Yeah. The current occupant who talks with his mouth full of dinner roll has done such a bang-up job of preserving that.
Sounds good to me. No collard greens or chitlins for me, though.
I’ll try the ham hocks, but no promises.
I can’t be the only pasty white motherfucker who loves fried chicken and watermelon.
I assume it will say, “Die, Whitey, Die!!”
Wouldn’t you?
Count me as another pasty white American for fried chicken and watermelon.
There are many PWA’s for fried chicken and watermelon. We are legion.
Well, which is it? They’re ghetto gangstas who will trash the White House, all the while eating watermelon, or latte sipping elitists from the Ivy League? It’s so hard to follow.
“Give me yo’ tie-ed, yo’ po’, yo’ huddled masses yurnin’ to breeve free, so I can lif’ mah lamp of syrupy goodness to th’ golden waffle. Mmmm-hm!”
To add to what jcricket said, may I present this. NSFW, wait 3 hours before eating, etc.
“Next you are going to see southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as your daily meal.”
Maybe some nice greens? Sweet potato pie? This is sounding better all the time.
M-Fer, big girl like me, ‘gwine need lossa iced tea
Uhh, they don’t like it when black people hug, either.
or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve.
On Monday Zoeller, the 1979 Masters champion, apologized. “My comments were not intended to be racially derogatory, and I apologize for the fact that they were misconstrued in that fashion,” the 45-year-old golfer said.
Then he gave Woods a jockey costume as a gesture of goodwill.
WTF?! Okay, know that MJ Stephey actually got paid to write
Wonder Twins.
Geez, tigrismus I think I actually pulled something there laughing.
Perhaps we can hope that unleashing racism against extremely popular men of mixed heritage does the same for a person’s career as it did for Zoeller’s.
I don’t get what the fuss is all about. It’s not like he’s trying to appear hip since fist bump is out man.
Shorter everybody on the right:
“Are you berserk? Can’t you see that man is a ni?”
Pump the Music
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Nappiness
Gee, my idea for Obama to deliver the SOTU address each year in a different racist stereotype get-up is beginning to seem more and more prescient.
We want… a shrubbery!
Another wonder opportunity to remind folks that his opponent is that ordinary folks-paragon of the people, John Sidney McCain the Third, or JiSM3 as I’m now calling him.
I just have to say the comments on this site are the funniest on any blog I have ever read. I love reading here. Compare and contrast – comments on this blog to comments on any right-wing blog.
Graffiti on Airforce One? Now that would be great. I nice, big, anarchist “A” would go a long way towards making me happy.
Yep… next thing you know the young kids will be dancing to that rock and roll that all the darkies like.
They’re atheist Muslim communist elitist watermelon-eating gangstas who are gutlessly ruthless.
Are you sure? I thought they were ruthlessly gutless?!
Just checked… damn… my wife ate the last of the watermelon.
Next thing you know, the obamasexuals will by rutting gothically in the streets.
Ruthlessly gutless or gutlessly ruthless, they are still the worst kind of cowards. The ones with no fear.
John Sidney McCain the Third,
aka Jizzle Sizzle MC Trey
or, as noted, just Jizz for short
JiSM 3: Back in Training
They do have a point. Consider how badly it will reflect on America when, at a state dinner, Robert Mugabe yells out “Get me some fucking iced tea motherfucker.”
Oh the ignominy! There will be WHITES waiting table for niggers! Our culture is doooooooomed.
JISM3? Only in McCain’s (not so wet) dreams. That old coot’s gun’s been out of pellets since at least Bush I.
“I’m still shocked that people like this actually exist (racist bogits). Why hasn’t John McCain and NRO denounced and rejected them yet? ”
Because they are the GOP base- racist, classist, religious bigots that hate everything all day long every day. This 20% has America hostage, their viewpoint is the only view allowed on TV, where Bush as never done wrong, and all Dems are traitors that deserve gruesome death (get ready, rednecks, President-For-Life Cheney will be issuing his ‘Kristalnacht’ orders between November and January, shortly after he orders Acting-President Bush to unilaterally invade Iran.
I’m waiting with bated breath (baited breadth?) for K-Lo to come out against all that butt patting in football. Wait, that’s cultural, sort of like how open container laws don’t apply to Bloomberg, but do at corner bars? My bad.
If Barack HUSSEIN Obama is elected, the Statue of Libery will be replaced by a giant replica of Aunt Jemima.
Actually, that would be the best piece of guerrilla art, evar. Where’s Banksy?
Oh my. It only took one day after Obama became the nominee for the real straight up racial hatred to begin to reveal itself. No more code words and dogwhistles, no sir, those are for those weasily namby-pambies on the TV news. We’re breaking out all the names, all the stereotypes, all the shit we perfected under Jim Crow. Oh goody.
Y’know, I’m pretty sure McCain’s campaign believes wholeheartedly that it is precisely this kind of virulent ignorance that will get him elected. He’ll have to walk a fine line, but we’ll see him finding myriad ways to support and encourage these knuckle-dragging redneck motherfuckers.
At the first debate, Obama goes first, using his two minutes to answer the first question. When it comes to McCain, he merely takes a bucket and sponge out from behind his podium, walks over to Obama, sets it down and says disdainfully “wash my car, boy” and strides off the stage.
You watch…
mikey
Hag: He may have shot his final wad long ago but he’s been collecting Rove’s and Bush’s for years now. I’m sure he’s got a large reservoir.
PeeJ said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:01
Hag: He may have shot his final wad long ago but he’s been collecting Rove’s and Bush’s for years now. I’m sure he’s got a large reservoir.
Icky! So who’s got the bigger collection, McSame of Holy Joe Liarman?
Um, or. or Oar.
P.S. (a)bated breath.
Barry X, January, 2009:
So the concept is this, basically: The whole black nation has to be put together as a black army and we’re going to walk on this nation. We’re going to walk on this racist power structure. And we’re going to say to the whole damn government, ´´Stick ’em up, motherfucker. This is a hold-up! We come for what’s ours!”
He may have shot his final wad long ago but he’s been collecting Rove’s and Bush’s for years now. I’m sure he’s got a large reservoir.
This is probably obscure, but there’s a scene in _Complicity_ by Ian Banks that came to mind here… shudder.
That sounds AWESOME!
Also:
Ooh, me too. That would rock so hard! It would be the greatest use of the White House front lawn since Teddy Roosevelt challenged all comers to bare knuckle boxing!
Barry X, First address to the Nation:
Explaining 10 things he’s like to accomplish.
PeeJ, LWHL, and fishbane… There’s an award we have over at UT; we call it the HurlCheck. Y’all get to split the prize three ways, while I try not to contemplate Holy Joe and the Cancerous Coot wiping their chins.
From the Time magazine link:
The origins of the bump are murky, though most communication experts agree on …
If I was a communications expert I think the origins of the bump would be really, really low on my … Wait a minute, I read the rest of that article. They interviewed communications majors, not experts. Wonder Twins, my ass.
“Your post proves you are racist against white people, as I’m sure someone will soon point out.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahaha!
(breath)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahahahahahah!
Roy Edroso, dumbest person in the world?
***********************
c said-
“Sweet potato pie?”
No, bean pie, apparently. McCain supporter Larry Johnson has photos of Michele Obama in the same room as Mrs. Farrakhan, proving for all time that Senator Obama is controlled by the Nation of Islam.
And for those that don’t know, the Nation of Islam, in suits with bow ties, hawk their wares at the traffic light at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge, The Final Call and bean pies…
******
JiSM 3
Phew!
Hi, I’m a right-winger. I’m smart! I make mountains out of holes when there aren’t any molehills. I think Obama’s an Arab, and we’re fighting Arabs out in Iran, so we shouldn’t elect him as president; also, he’s a member of a black gang, since he’s black. What? You say the dominant ethnicity of Iran isn’t Arab? That is a Hezbollah-style comment, a Hamas-appeasing comment. I’m a right-winger; facts are of no consequence to me. Also, completely irrelevant and inconsequential things are of great consequence to me. And black people should never have power over white people, because that always leads to major disaster — you saw what happened with Kofi Annan. If Obama wins, I’m moving to the Bahamas, where there aren’t any black people.
Heil Bush!
Gee, my idea for Obama to deliver the SOTU address each year in a different racist stereotype get-up is beginning to seem more and more prescient.
Naw… What Obama needs to do is stand up before the nation and give the STFU address.
If he does that, I’ll be the first in line to call for the repeal of the 22nd Ammendment so we can elect him “President for Life”
It was already confusing with the whole “Obama is a muslim vs. Obama is a scary black Christian!” and now we gotta deal with , “Obama the jambon-buying elitist vs. Obama the black guy who fist pumps his ghetto queen”.
And I thought the dems were torn! The GOP really needs to get on the same page when it comes to their crazy wingnut internet memes.
And poor Pammy Atlas, always the bridesmaid, never the bride, totally out of the loop trying to prove that Obama actually isn’t even black at all (still on the muslim/arab thing) and has nothing in common with real African Americans.
It is more evidence of the penetration and corruption of our dominant culture by the minority.
That is so HOT.
Of course. Our presidents should use proper and dignified hand gestures at all times in public, like George Bush:
http://www.thebirdman.org/Index/Others/Others-Doc-ConspiracyTheory&NWO/+Doc-ConspiracyTheory-NWOSymbols&Signatures/DoesBushMakeSatanicSigns.htm
And always refrain from vulgar expressions of greeting:
http://meaningfuldistractions.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/bushchest1.jpg?w=450&h=311
I want to thank all of you for the laughs. I read the right wings blogs and just get depressed. But here I get to spew my chocolate milk all over the keyboard and screen. Again…thanks a heap.
Comrade Rutherford, sarcasm is always what’s for dinner at Roy’s place.
How does someone write angrily about a “racist mullato[sic]” and not die laughing at themselves?
“Naw, man that was about Whitey DeLuca, our ex-manager. He burned us for fifty g’s! And he weren’t even really white, he was like Italian or some shit… I mean, do I look like the kinda mo’fo that would kill a whole lotta white people?!?”
I think we should encourage right wing “citizen journalists” to expose the massive anti-white racism of the Obama campaign by going undercover and following them in blackface.
I dunno about you guys, but I think we’re in for a fun few months if this is the kind of tepid poop the wingnut monkeys are flinging.
And I like both collard greens and arugula.
PeeJ, LWHL, and fishbane… There’s an award we have over at UT; we call it the HurlCheck. Y’all get to split the prize three ways, while I try not to contemplate Holy Joe and the Cancerous Coot wiping their chins.
Thank you for the honor (and is that U Texas, or one of the U. TNs? I’ve got a pall in the latter, humping for tenure), but I think your contemplation is off. See, they use those yoga tongue scraper things, repurposed, and a special little jar. Because every drop is special. Like a snowflake. Surely you wouldn’t just shovel snowflakes, given how special they are, would you?
fishbane…
UT is Glenn Greenwald’s blog at Salon, the only place where I’m much more than a lurker.
I just started showing up here after my great and infamous evening with Gavin, Marita, et al here in Portland.
Yoga scraper? That’s even gnarlier than your last prize winner, and equally vivid. Once the jar gets full, do they get out a turkey baster? Mary Cheney and the Park Ranger may be ready for another bundle of joy.
“And I like both collard greens and arugula.”
Racist!1!! Also Cleopatra was white, South Africa would have turned out just fine without sanctions and MLK would have voted for Ronald Reagan. Why? Shut up that’s why! Yet more proof that Hippies, in voting for a Black candidate, are the true racists.
Meanwhile, Ann Althouse ,not so subtly, defends Mark’s Steyn’s right to be an asshole.
MLK would have voted for Ronald Reagan.
Heh. SubHuman Events is pushing the Black Republican Ass’n. (aka Uncle Tom Society) campaign to remind people that ZOMG! MLK was a Republican!
It’s too whacky for words really and the level of desperation is awesomely amusing. …. Apparently it was purely an email thing so no linky, sorry.
First time I ever read comments over there at Anne’s AltRealityHaus.
Love this one from AllenS:
Isn’t that precious? How often do people call you racist, AllenS? Ever wonder why? Nah, of course you don’t.
Cleopatra was a Ptolemy, which is to say a highly-inbred Macedonian.
I’m a popular topic here, PeeJ.
It’s all about meeeee…..
Oh, that UT. Sorry. I’ve been poisoned by academics, clearly.
Don’t get me started on the… interesting… things new agers do. Working at a magazine devoted to their enlightened lifestyle left me privy to enough details to send me to NYC and smoke more.
When the jar gets full, I suspect they breed off another round of talking heads, but I can’t prove that. I would encourage anyone with knowledge of Ben Stein’s parent’s proclivities to please step up. Or his parents, or zombie parents, as the case may be. I can’t imagine they’re all that proud at the moment.
campaign to remind people that ZOMG! MLK was a Republican!
I know a guy who even at this late date refuses to celebrate MLK day because Dr King was a communist, and I know he’s not the only right wing nutter to believe that.
It’s all about meeeee…..
Ann, we know that. The fact that you think you’re being funny just reaffirms it. I’ll invite you to an intellectually interesting debate when you promise not to run away crying again.
Thanks for the information.
If Barack HUSSEIN Obama is elected, the Statue of Libery will be replaced by a giant replica of Aunt Jemima.
If Zombie Chaes Oldenburg is elected, the Statue of Liberty will be replaced by a giant electric fan, while a giant gear-stick lever will take the place of Nelson’s Column in London
Oh my. It only took one day after Obama became the nominee for the real straight up racial hatred to begin to reveal itself.
hell, I’m surprised it took THAT long. I took 30 minutes in the pool.
The origins of the bump are murky
Nah. I remember it clearly. It was 1977, right before the Hustle.
fist pumps his ghetto queen
It is more evidence of the penetration and corruption of our dominant culture
This thread gets better and better.
Future Madam First Lady Obama, by the way, is kind of hot.
In that photograph at the left, Michelle Obama seems to have a ninja knife strapped to her right arm.
Some people will say that it is merely a microphone in the foreground, but we know better.
But here I get to spew my chocolate milk all over the keyboard and screen.
Not WHITE milk? Damn, it’s started already and he’s not even elected yet!
Don’t worry… Being poisoned by academics couldn’t possibly be worse than being turkey-bastered out of that jar. Or worse yet, being the Hell-spawn of such genetic malpractice. Whose fetid squirt do you think brought forth Tom Friedman? Joe Klein? And what about poor Maureen Dowd? The mind boggles, and the HurlCheck arrow swings to “Tilt.”
It is more evidence of the penetration and corruption of our dominant culture by the minority.
When the police entered the room, our dominant culture was wearing a leather corset and fishnet stockings, and was tied face-down to a table. Later inquiries revealed that the scene was entirely consensual, and no charges were laid.
Dude.
Sasha Baron Cohen should create a conservative Boratish character and do this.
I don’t see how it could be half as funny as what’s going through my head right now.
“And I like both collard greens and arugula”
Here in the heartland we prefer freedom and iceberg.
When the police entered the room, our dominant culture was wearing a leather corset and fishnet stockings, and was tied face-down to a table.
The minority was in the corner, pointing and laughing.
Something I saw, which I haven’t heard anything about: Barack went for the mouth kiss, Michelle gave him the dodge-and-cheek-kiss, he looked hurt and pouty (in a totally adorable way!)
What can I say? Sometimes you just need to switch roles, unbend a bit, take a walk on the wild side.
I sincerely apologise for any embarrassment I have caused to my family and my supporters.
There are many ways to shake a hand
Across this wide and varied land
Traditional grip can seem so staid
But a variation? I’m afraid
When under pressure for many long days
People bond in various ways
Barack and Michelle are charming indeed
Their love and comitment is easy to read
Call it a fist bump or call it a dap
I call it honest, simple as that
They aren’t bush and cheney, that’s for sure
And they won’t fall apart under the attack du jour
The right wing monsters can continue to try
To recast the Obamas as some kind of lie
But if you’d like to know what I think
I’m voting Obama. Now get me a drink.
mikey
If Barack HUSSEIN Obama is elected, the Statue of Libery will be replaced by a giant replica of Aunt Jemima. Do you liberals want that?
You mean that French statue? I’d have thought a Typical Republican would be all over that.
But seriously, I’m so out of touch with these Islamofascist-gangsta hand signs that before this incident the only place I’d ever seen the word “Dap” was on a can of spackle.
In my imaginary hardback copy of Mikey’s poem, the illustrations are by Dr Suess.
It is more evidence of the penetration and corruption of our dominant culture by the minority. There will be a lot more of this if Obama gets into the White House.
Why next thing you know our impressionable young teenagers will be dancing the twist and that wild jitterbug dance!
Just for grins, here’s a picture of Bush doing the “Dap” with the pope.
http://absurddebate.blogspot.com/2007/06/fromer-nazi-youth-questions-validity-of.html
Oh, and FYI, if you do a Google image search for “Bush-fist-pound” be prepared for some very unpleasant pix.
Mister Leonard, please tell us you’ll go to the Republican National Convention. Please?
Next you are going to see southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as your daily meal.
Horrors!
Such strange and peculiar food those black people eat! No white person would ever introduce such bizzare customs to our great American culture!
The “fist bump” is just short of gang signing.
Excellent! It’s not a gang sign!
If President Obama disapproves of something will he be grabbing his balls with both hands and telling people where to go?
Somebody already tried that for the past eight years.
It’s beyond depressing to think that there is actually a person in America who thinks fried chicken is emblematically black.
And that the “culture” of people who’ve been in this nation over 200 years, and who cooked, cleaned, cared for the babies of affluent people throughout much of that time is an “alien” culture.
It’s beyond funny, though, to think that there is actually a person in America who thinks typical white American culture HASN’T been shaped by black folks.
Now, g. You know in your heart of hearts that Elvis came up with that sound all by his lonesome.
JISM3? Only in McCain’s (not so wet) dreams. That old coot’s gun’s been out of pellets since at least Bush I.
Ahem. I’d prefer you call her Carol.
I was hoping the end of Bush & Co would mean an end to the asinininny wingnut hysteria but it just seems to be getting weirder and worse all the time.
Will the madness never end?
…will he be grabbing his balls with both hands and telling people where to go?
Ok. I just tried this. I’m gonna take the position that if you can actually grab your balls with both hands, you need to see a doctor right away.
I mean, sure, you can use your fingertips and thumbs, but this doesn’t seem to represent the true spirit of “with both hand” and besides, you need to do it with your pants off, which I don’t think is what they had in mind here.
Hang on, I’m gonna try it a few other ways and I’ll get back to you.
Stand by…
mikey
God help me, mikey, I’m waiting.
and who cooked, cleaned, cared for the babies of affluent people
I cn hz cookbook?
I join Smiling Mortician in the Peanut Gallery to await the results of your scientific experiment, mikey.
Will you be posting the results of this undeniably worthy scientific endeavor online?
Maybe the Discovery Institute would be interested in this important Balls/Paws inquiry.
Actually mikey, I think I’ll stand way over here- if you don’t mind.
Do not google “elephantiasis + scrotum”. Do not go there. This is a public health advisory message.
In fact, if you google “anything” + “scrotum” you are looking for trouble.
The scrotum, while functional, much like the sherman tank and the Microsoft Access interface, is not something that should be examined in great detail.
Yeah.
Just sayin…
mikey
a) You know, for the record, I honestly think crotch-grabbing is an invaluable diplomatic tool. Why haven’t we come to terms with this?
b) I’ve loved the fuck out of Obama and Clinton inadvertently exhibiting the racist/misogynist totem behaviors that these people live to catalogue among the filthy darkies/bitches. We’ve all done the damn dab, and even if we don’t make a habit of it it’s not particularly unusual; calling it a ‘gang sign’ is particularly ridiculous – and that’s not taking into account that, you know, kids these days throw around gang signs in a way that makes people of Obama’s generation uncomfortable! My little brothers do. The idea of specific ‘signs’ corresponding to gangs is kind of ridiculous; it’s just another way to pretend that blacks are secretly hiding how horrible they all are, and the idea doesn’t make sense if you’re not hoping they are.
Seriously: nobody but these fucking loons cares about this kind of thing. When they start openly freaking out about it, the other 90% of the country has to come fully to terms with the fact that all of the FUD about Obama being a secret Iran-backing Muslim radical negro is, in fact, coming from lunatics who probably resent Lincoln emancipating the slaves.
If I were Obama, a major part of my campaign would be creating little tableaux like this, so the worst racists would be in continuous ablackalypse meltdown mode. And nobody would be able to even pretend in good faith that these people are anything but fucking lunatics.
A VOTE FOR OBAMA IS A VOTE FOR “RAP”!!!!!!!!!
[…] Egads. I said a long time ago, and I’ll say it again, maybe the best thing that Obama could do for the race issue is expose the festering ids that would normally stay buried if a black guy wasn’t about to become President of the freaking United States. It’s like lancing a deep festering wound to let the pus out. Eventually the haters will have had their say, and Obama will still be President, and they won’t have anything more to add to the conversation. Then the best possible resolution will come to the American race discussion as far as I’m concerned: we’ll get tired of it and talk about something else. […]
Easy, mikey. Squat. Or bend over.
Perhaps the two-handed crotch grab isn’t actually a grab, but instead refers to this.
And even though Trips and HBK suck for never putting anyone over, DX in the White House would be awesome.
Obama’s wife is so ghetto!!! Our country will be in big trouble if he is elected!!! A video will be coming out of her telling “whitey to die”. Meaning white people! Higher taxes!!! Barack Hussein Obama??? A Muslim president??? We are fighting Muslim’s in Iraq for goodness sake!!! Come on people!
Why does this screed end in an exhortation to ejaculate on others?
This just in! http://noquarterusa.net/blog/2008/06/07/an-update-on-the-michelle-obama-rant/
Larry Johnson is now actually bathing himself in his own shit. He’s getting it in every pore, even taking a swig or seven of it.
Ignorant whitey reporting in here. . .
Had no idea what dap was until I saw the entry on Urban Dictionary. I’ve been looking at Urban Dictionary a lot lately, because I’m reading Richard Price’s Lush Life. It has a lot of street cred, it’s full of cheddar and eyewits and other stuff whiteys like me gotta look up.
Anyway, main gangsta character is named. . . .Little Dap.
In other words, it’s a full circle moment.
The fact is, Terrorist Fist Jab’s first album will be available shortly on the Kill Whitey label.
The fact is, I have a small penis and I poop my pants and I like to hump stumps and I’m actually a fucking idiot and they should commit me to an asylum because I eat my own feces and then fling the rest at the walls to make up for me being an incompetent, incontinent asshole freak piece of fucking shit.
Oh, edub, “plaguerized” is my new favorite word.
Dr. S.C., your baby cooking secrets are here.
/Batwinged Tannenbaum Rex
Ok. Here’s a confession for y’all.
They dropped me into SVN in the spring of 1970. A lot of the really bad race horrors were behind us. We really were winding down. Fighting the NVA? Sure. Fragging each other? Less any kind of a deal. But there was still a lot of racial identity, and a lot of white guys bonding with the brothers. The “dap” was a very complex series of tightly choreographed handshaking maneuvers.
So there was I. My brain doesn’t do large scale pattern matching. I’d get it wrong every time. I could never keep the sequence straight. The cool thing was that the brothers quickly realized that I wasn’t a cracker motherfucker, I was just helpless with the whole dapping shit. So they would actually make up an abreviated version for me so I wouldn’t feel like such an ass.
And when the B40s and the mortars started falling, we were all better than friends, I can tell you that.
So dap this, mothers…
mikey
So using slang you hear other people using is now “palguerizm?” who knew?
Let me apologize to the original author of “the bee’s knees.”
Oh, edub, “plaguerized” is my new favorite word.
Is that what unethical microbiology students do? At least until they’re caught by librainians?
whites who support Obama are self-hating whites
ya heard, snowflake
It was already confusing with the whole “Obama is a muslim vs. Obama is a scary black Christian!” and now we gotta deal with , “Obama the jambon-buying elitist vs. Obama the black guy who fist pumps his ghetto queen”.
Obama is a the Heisenberg Uncertainty Politician: you can either measure his faith in Allah, or you can measure his slavish devotion to the Black Christ, but not both at the same time.
Don’t mess with the motherfuckin’ Apple Dumpling Gang. They’ll fuck you up.
Word to your Hezbollah mother, yo!
I want Senator Hussein X to throw the P-Funk sign. I’d be interested to see what percentage of the lunatics say it’s devil horns versus a gang sign versus a black power fist.
From D.N. Nation’s link:
What a surprise.
The 527s are going to come down like rain this fall.
On these matters, I depend entirely upon the astute stylin’s of teh BagNewsNotes.
Damn straight, motherfuckers. I am definitely voting for the black dude.
I iz in ur toob-a-visio
Plaguerizing ur new car for everyone
I don’t know why these people can’t relate to their wives in a more respectful way.
“A video will be coming out of her telling “whitey to die”. Meaning white people!”
So.
Many many years ago.
There was a Doonesbury story arc. About a young, sheltered white kid attending a mostly-black school. A local black school ass-hat gives him a hard time, and, in a fit of flustered frustration, the white kids lashes out, “Why you… you… HONKY!” Then proceeds to double check his notes his mother gave him to see if he had done the insult right.
Wingnuts: you are that white kid.
How is Bush meeting with world leaders by slumping and splaying out on his chair, legs spread wide like he’s vegging at home watching the Big Game in nothing but sweat pants and a stained wife beater, somehow not embarrassing to these people?
“Let’s not forget what Obama’s middle name is, funny thing, he never wants to use his middle name on his campaign. (“hoooch71”)”
Like every president before him has, nigh but hinging their entire campaign and platform on their middle names.
This would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.
I can’t wait until Obama’s speech on the last night of the Democratic Convention, when he finishes his acceptance speech with the phrase, ‘America, what set you claimin’?’ at which point the crowd goes wild and begins chanting What set you claimin’? What set you claimin? for the rest of the night.
Good times…
Wow, these wingnuts have really sunk to the point where they are growing an entire field of straw for the sole purpose of grasping at it to spout non-troversies on Obama.
Why are we afraid of these clowns again?
Is that what unethical microbiology students do? At least until they’re caught by librainians?
That reminds me, I’ve always wanted an old timey nephrology head.
My lesson for the day, from Donnie O. Old Europe and the Islamo-leftists are no longer a threat.
I mean seriously, Korea? Well, I guess Donnie was trying to put together the conclusive list, but he forgot Poland.
No, it is a gang sign. It’s just a gang sign for short gangs. Midget bikers, dwarf thugs, that sort of thing.
they are growing an entire field of straw for the sole purpose of grasping at it
That’s dual-use straw, I’ll have you know. Yes, in its civilian role it can be grasped at, or used to conceal needles, but in unscrupulous hands it can easily be weaponised and used for breaking the backs of camels.
‘Cause they “win”?
“A video will be coming out of her telling “whitey to die”. Meaning white people!”
Oh Lord, Obama’s sunk! You remember what happened when it became known that Bush’s wife had actually killed a white guy? GAME OVER
It’s just a gang sign for short gangs. Midget bikers, dwarf thugs, that sort of thing.
Documentary proof.
Smut Clyde,
I also hear tell that some of that there straw is destined to be fashioned into the shape of men. Perhaps we should gather round the villagers, for that sounds like messing in the realm of unnatural syllogism.
It is more evidence of the penetration and corruption of our dominant culture by the minority. There will be a lot more of this if Obama gets into the White House. (“Ffranco”)
Is this poster naming himself after Fransico Franco???????
Of course I really doubt the people worrying about the dap or uh “gang signs” were worried that Bush would put steer horns on Limo One.
Oh, those people will be all over Bush’s post-Presidential ride — the “ranch” pickup with the giant vinyl trailer-hitch ‘nads (still legal in Florida!)…
Emblazened with the Presidential seal, of course!
Hey, the half-billion-dollar “Bush Lie-berry” is hardly going to pay its maintenance fees of the sales of written materials in the souvenir shop, right?
Mulatto? Are you sure? Perhaps they are octaroons.
Such strange and peculiar food those black people eat! No white person would ever introduce such bizzare customs to our great American culture!
“[Watermelon] is the chief of this world’s luxuries, king by the grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented.”
— Mark Twain, stealth Negro.
Hey, the half-billion-dollar “Bush Lie-berry” is hardly going to pay its maintenance fees of the sales of written materials in the souvenir shop, right?
Don’t worry, Anne.
There’ll be hot pepper sauces, chili recipes, weed clearing tools for one’s “ranch”, and of course, wingnut welfare.
We’re afraid of some little hand gesture, when just this week we had documentary evidence of Bush and his obscure gang signs?
It’s a little known fact that Obama has been both a Crip and a Blood, as well as a Warrior, a Latin King, and a Newsie.
I mean seriously, Korea?
Hey, man, never underestimate kimchee.
a Southern watermelon
The other day I think it was Righteous Bubba who brought up Cormac McCarthy’s Sutree. The glorious sun-ripened watermelon plays a pivotal role in the love life of one of the central (white) characters.
Busted by the “spam checking system” at S,N?!!!!!
Damn. It was good post about how I think M. Obama may, indeed, have said something that could be construed as anti-white, even if doctored or irrelevant. Just a personal guess.
And how I think assuming the best is naive. And about how I would be just like her if I was a private black person my entire life.
Damn. C’mon, Master L.P., I sure would like it if you could dig it out. I spent a fair amount of time on it, and the rejection was a first.
It was ’bout how having a spouse strong enough not to go all Stepford on me is a plus.
It was about the folly of minimizing the racist vote the GOP will depend on this fall.
It was about the modern age, where every damn thing was taped someplace.
It was, to the best of my very limited ability, prescient and brilliant, and it ended with, “I hope I’m wrong.”
[…] to add: Sadly, No has a good roundup of the batshit insane reactions to the fist-bump. It’s like the hysteria […]
ctrl c before submitting, John O.
WordPress is in league with the Sith Lord Cheney.
Well, thanks M,OW.
There wasn’t anything obscene in it, I swear. Unless you consider the words, “Larry Johnson” obscene.
I gotta say I was shocked, and as everyone knows who has ever had anything lost on a computer, pissed off and disappointed.
Ctrl c? What’s that all about?
ctrl-a selects all your text.
ctrl-c pastes it all into memory
ctrl-v pastes whats in memory back
——————–
ctrl-a selects all your text.
ctrl-c pastes it all into memory
ctrl-v pastes whats in memory back
——————–
Thanks, M,OW. I knew all that.
I had just never had it happen to me here, or anywhere else, for that matter.
Lazy, I guess.
WordPress bites
Well, based on what I’ve seen so far, Barack will be ready for it if it exists, and will do a good job diffusing it.
As best he can given the 5 month news cycle the alleged quote will get. Media Man is whitey, too.
Heck, why wouldn’t you sit on it if you had it?
I would save it like a trump card in a poker game. If I was an atheist political hack-whore for The Man.
We could call this the campaign season when conservatives discovered political correctness … IF they hadn’t gotten their panties in a twist .. when it suited them … over so much trivial nonsense since … 1992? 1980? 1964?
John McCain is so seriously fucked.
It’s not profound, but it’s true.
Sir William: Obama is a the Heisenberg Uncertainty Politician
pure genius.
“we all know that Barack and Michelle Obama are low-class ignorant ghetto gangstas”… if you’re kidding about this, you really need to work on the delivery. This is my first time reading here so I have no idea what you’re all about.
if you’re kidding about this, you really need to work on the delivery. This is my first time reading here so I have no idea what you’re all about.
I visit the “about” pages of places to find out what they’re about.
“we all know that Barack and Michelle Obama are low-class ignorant ghetto gangstas”…
who like arugula.
perhaps the wingtards will be happier, if when Obama and McCain do a town hall tour, they symbolically clink neck-chains.
I pity the fool that don’t pity the fool.
Isn’t anybody here outraged? The man PUNCHED HIS WIFE RIGHT IN THE FIST!
kid oakland, my favorite big orange satanist, shows us why John McCain is so seriously fucked.
John and Cindy should counter with a dosey-doh.
Did I read right?
Did someone propose that a putative President Obama hold a Fishbone concert on the White House lawn?
That would be swell. With a giant inflatable Aunt Jemima.
Wow. This can’t even be satirized. The right wing has already told all the funny, ironic jokes, except they’re serious, and they’re not being ironic.
Next you are going to see southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as your daily meal.”
Maybe some nice greens? Sweet potato pie? This is sounding better all the time.
And homemade biscuits? Please? And potato salad. And ribs! Don’t forget ribs!
You know, except for the collard greens, black eyed peas and sweet potato pie (we do punkin’ pie in Teh Upper Midwest) this is exactly the kind of food I grew up eating. My mom made the best fried chicken, biscuits, and mashed potatoes and gravy, with strong, sweet ice tea to wash it all down. Our family is just about the white white whitey white whitest bunch of Irish-Americans you ever saw. These wingnuts are eejits. Scary racist eejits, but eejits nonetheless, and they deserve our mockery.
Damn, I’m hungry. Soooooo hungry.
Hey! When the Obamas join up with the Reconquista movement and the Islamofascists, we can haz lots of good Mexican food and Middle Eastern fare in Teh Black House. I for one welcome our Islamomexiafrican overlords.
I’ve always wanted a talking statute in the New York Harbor.
It would complain endlessly about its limitations.
Hey! When the Obamas join up with the Reconquista movement and the Islamofascists, we can haz lots of good Mexican food and Middle Eastern fare in Teh Black House. I for one welcome our Islamomexiafrican overlords.
Mmmmm! Hummus tacos with chitlins!
Sadly, No is strictly focused on sober political analysis. Virtually all commenters are highly qualified experts and virtually all comments have been carefully crafted to be as insightful and thought-provoking as possible.
There are also lots of poopy jokes.
Typical gangster elitists.
-GSD
I heard that Obama was pushing for a “freestyle battle” rule in any upcoming debates with John McCain. All comments and replies must last no more than two minutes, be in rhyming meter and accompanied by a beat to be chosen by both parties beforehand. If no beat can be agreed to, snippets of James Brown’s “Funky Drummer” will be employed. Debate winners will be based on audience acclamation for the “illest” rhymes and most concise policy summarizations.
I would so pay to see this.
Personally, I hold no fewer then four phD’s and can routinely be found building the poor third world orphans their majestic Palace of Chocolate when i’m not busy tinkering with my anti-grativy generators. Sure, I’ve only gotten five hours of sleep a night for the past seven years, but if I don’t help the Atlantians save their home galaxy, then who will?
I believe they’re going to be ghetto gangstas on Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays, and latte-sipping elitists on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. On Sundays they’ll be secret Muslims.
Grabbing your balls with both hands is one thing, but can someone explain this one to me:
What’s next? the knee in the crotch-hands above the head greeting?
Sounds physically impossible, but I could be wrong. Perhaps a video demonstration would help.
the knee in the crotch-hands above the head greeting….
If parsed as “Person A swings his knee forward to deal a crush blow to Person B’s crotch while Person A flails his/her hands wildly in the air” it seems like a very funny kind of greeting indeed. Though hardly diplomatic.
Great post. But if you’re gonna break out the [sic]s you better remember i before e except after c’s like in perceive in your second ‘graph. Heh.
I know a guy who even at this late date refuses to celebrate MLK day because Dr King was a communist, and I know he’s not the only right wing nutter to believe that.
Jeez, what does he do about Christmas?
Person A swings his knee forward to deal a crush blow to Person B’s crotch while Person A flails his/her hands wildly in the air
Incorporating that as a standard part of diplomatic discourse might well reconcile the Irish to the idea of closer integration with the EU.
Person A swings his knee forward to deal a crush blow to Person B’s crotch while Person A flails his/her hands wildly in the air
But only if Person B has a non-expired duly authorized gift card.
Well, Bush ( family have been DOCUMENTED displaying Satanic hand gestures!! Where were the square butts then, huh? HUH?!
OK too early to blog, clearly. Let’s try that one again:
Well, Bush & family have been DOCUMENTED displaying Satanic hand gestures!!
Is there not something, oh ironic about our righie freinds banging on about ho they are soooo not allowed to criticise Obama, lest they are accused of beig racists, but the merest criticism of Israel gets them screaming;’ant semite, ANY-SEMITE’?
He may have shot his final wad long ago but he’s been collecting Rove’s and Bush’s for years now. I’m sure he’s got a large reservoir.
This is probably obscure, but there’s a scene in _Complicity_ by Ian Banks that came to mind here… shudder.
Dont worry, pal, I got it too, and now cant get the picture out of my mind…….
War crimes are defined in the statute that established the International Criminal Court, which includes:
1. Grave breaches of the Geneva Conventions, such as:
Willful killing, or causing great suffering or serious injury to body or health
Torture or inhumane treatment
Unlawful wanton destruction or appropriation of property
Forcing a prisoner of war to serve in the forces of a hostile power
Depriving a prisoner of war of a fair trial
Unlawful deportation, confinement or transfer
Taking hostages
2. The following acts as part of an international conflict:
Directing attacks against civilians
Directing attacks against humanitarian workers or UN peacekeepers
Killing a surrendered combatant
Misusing a flag of truce
Settlement of occupied territory
Deportation of inhabitants of occupied territory
Using poison weapons
Using civilians as shields
Using child soldiers
3. The following acts as part of a non-international conflict:
Murder, cruel or degrading treatment and torture
Directing attacks against civilians, humanitarian workers or UN peacekeepers
Taking hostages
Summary execution
Pillage
Rape, sexual slavery, forced prostitution or forced pregnancy
However the court only has jurisdiction over these crimes where they are “part of a plan or policy or as part of a large-scale commission of such crimes” [4]
I can’t be the only one here who thinks it the president’s limo would look awesome with 21-inch alloy spinners.
Also, there must already be a hip-hop version of the Star-Spangled Banner, right? Has anybody ever heard one?
Why would these be bad things, exactly? Yes, it would probably be undignified for the president to be saggin’ and baggin’ when meeting with the Queen, but wouldn’t it make you proud to be an American to know a Kanye West concert was held at the White House?
I can’t see why anyone would be concerned about President Obama pimpin’ up the White House when we already got a guy in there like this.
And my white suburban self was doing this knuckles gesture with all the other white suburban kids 18 years back, when I was a wee high schooler. We thought it was just fun. (We didn’t call it the ‘dap’ though.)
Furthermore, I do this all the time with people at work, in my white-collar job.
Now, I guess the suburb where I grew up was fairly well racially integrated, and so is my job actually, but, damn. I’m just amazed that some people find a little thing like this frightening and/or ‘tasteless’. I guess there’s a lot of racist motherfuckers out there, and they have internet access.
I agree with the wingnuts. The fist bump is entirely inappropriate; it’s beneath the dignity of the office. The next thing you know a president will be chest-thumping an Air Force cadet at a graduation ceremony . . . um, wait, nevermind.
Just knowing that there’s someone out there who worries about the White House being corrupted by fried chicken makes me laugh.
This day is devoted to a Daily Kos Symposium on this topic
Hunter needs to step off, yo. Sadly, No’s been runnin’ mo’fuckkin’ symposia on a regular since like forever. We been slammin’ the epistemological implications of Citrullus lanatus on the gendered construct of Lamarkian progress in American leadership dualities for like a whole fukkin day now.
The Great Orange Biter needs to take its playa’ hatin’ self on back to discussions about the political implications of Roberts Rules on the electoral process and leave the theoryifin’ and analysticatin’ to old school vets with rep.
Will they? Sadly, No!
Yo.
My prior prediction that the Republicans’ only hope is to get Snoop Dogg politically active seems to be getting truer by the day.
I have an idea about how Obama can redeem himself for this transgression:
Just as Bush has given up golf for the duration of the war, Obama could promise to forgo the fist-bump until all of our young men and women come home.
word.
Then McCain’s gotta renounce ABBA.
OT, but I’ve just seen where Chris Muir’s been today (warning – many bright blinking ads, etc.)
Looks like he’s indulging multiple fantasies involving contorted female bodies, handguns, and formal wear. He must have a whole freaking box of tissues nearby.
I can’t see why anyone would be concerned about President Obama pimpin’ up the White House when we already got a guy in there like this.
Dammit, g – I didn’t need to see Kay Bailey Hutchinson’s leg flesh. Now I can’t eat.
From the Arizona Republic, via Righteous Bubba’s link:
This is pathetic.
ABBA link stolen from MAJeff in this thread.
Also Knowing Me, Knowing You might be more appropriate.
Next you are going to see southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as your daily meal.
Count me as another pasty white American for fried chicken and watermelon.
There are many PWA’s for fried chicken and watermelon. We are legion.
“Next you are going to see southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as your daily meal.”
Maybe some nice greens? Sweet potato pie? This is sounding better all the time.
And homemade biscuits? Please? And potato salad. And ribs! Don’t forget ribs!
Obama is obviously not a secret Muslim, a gangsta, or any sort of Scary Black Dude.
He is a Closet Cardiologist scaring up business for his Evil Cabal!
Put down the fried chicken and walk towards the light (salad dressing)!
OK, this PWA is going to go have some watermelon now.
Stupid libs! “Wonder Twins” is what I nicknamed my implants.
If Barack HUSSEIN Obama is elected, the Statue of Libery will be replaced by a giant replica of Aunt Jemima.
Don’t worry — real, hard-working, white American patriots already have a plan to slap a coat of pale pink paint on it and turn it into Mrs. Butterworth.
This must be central to somebody’s point.
(NSFW, btw. Yee have been warned.)
This must be central to somebody’s point.
That guy’s getting his $200.00 worth.
Stephen Ockham said,
Hey! How’s your brother, Bill?
Also, there must already be a hip-hop version of the Star-Spangled Banner, right? Has anybody ever heard one?
There’s always this:
The GOP is a bunch of wiggers. See how they seriously want to own the legacy of MLK for their party.
Obama played “99 problems but a bitch ain’t one” during a rally and that also caused little controversy.
The GOP is backing a jewish war, and view the most stereotypical money-grubbing yids as a form of “chosen” ubermench whose every whim must be doted upon. The GOP are nothing but the boastful yes-men of the Jewish Lubavitch.
The GOP is not the party of white interests. Whitey currently has no party.
Jesus Christ, wiggers and yids? Fuck off, asshole.
Sorta off topic, but in tune with the general stupidity of wingnuts as evinced by the fried chicken-fearing crowd. I believe this was central to Malkin’s point:
Dastardly doughnut design dismantled
A Sadly reader, perchance? I believe Mr. Lazere would fit right in. Excellent.
My wish has come true: I do believe Rev. Wright was what they had, and it got out early… either a screwup, or a desire to run against Hillary Clinton.
And it didn’t really do much damage, either.
Now they are scrounging around for pocket lint from the Bag O’ Dirty Tricks. I hear from some online Fox watchers (bless ’em, I can’t do it) that the latest trial balloon is that Obama isn’t humble enough.
Which, as we all know, is just one missed med away from uppity.
Who’s in the pool?
Jebus, Folkist is the type of troll usually plaguing the good folks at Dave Niewart’s place.
As tigrismus said, fuck off, Folkist. You won’t find any takers for your racist shite here.
Another dagnab screwhead. Those morons always are surprised when someone takes them seriously enough to backhand their receding jaw. Hey, Folkshit TheOrgan; you’re paying $4.00 per gallon of regular gas, but you think Obama’s church is a danger to your way of life. you are such an ignorant douchebag.
Not that I would call myself “Mr. Hip-Hop” or anything, but it’s a little weird that this alleged white supremacist is referring to hip-hop songs I’ve never heard of. He must be one of those apes who does his white power bit by day while furiously jacking off to black-on-white gay porn all night. Either that he’s a lying little troll.
Actually, tb, “99 Problems” was a huge hit for Jay-Z — probably his biggest. But the anti-Semitic dipwad is still wrong: the Jay-Z song at the Obama rally wasn’t that one, but “Dirt Off Your Shoulder”. And, typically, the same right-wingers who went apeshit over the dap went apeshit over that.
Jes wrdin’ off Harvey ish all…
Harpo Marx. You Tube. Dude.
And if there’s no coleslaw, the deal is off. And none of that runny shit.
That is some fabulous commentary from the foetid muck. There’s some truly wonderful moments:
‘Retarted’ has GOT to be my favorite misspledding in the whole wide world.
I did not know that the name Hussein is so closely identified with fried chicken, blackeyed peas, cornbread & watermelon – and if it is, I’m changing my name to Husseina! Yum! Although hold the watermelon and give me a plate of peeled & sliced tomatoes instead.
“He never mentions race yet he gets more Black every day” – which I cannot square with the constant whining about playing the race card, but I’m sure this dope can do it effortlessly.
You know, I really really wanted this primary season to be over, because the stupidly incessant internecine warfare got on my last fucking nerve. But now it really begins. My already overworked sense of outrage will be worn to a frazzle before we’re halfway through this nightmare…
Say, are you telling me I don’t know hip hop?
Gene Wilder explains these critics succintly.
(Sorry about the fucked-up aspect ratio, that’s how it was posted.)
Next you are going to see southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as your daily meal.
Whatever racist fuck wrote that is having a Cheney “West Virignia moment.” I have a sister who married into a very Southern family from a small town in Alabama. Guess what his white family serves whenever we go to visit? ALL of those things. Although they forgot the BBQ, fried okra, ham hocks and grits. I know they were trying to allude to soul food but they don’t even seem to know enough about that to make fun of it.
Silly racists, can’t even keep their stereotypes straight.
I played in a pool league where on of my teammates insisted on a fist bump along with saying “Git ‘er done!” if I made a big shot.
I’m so confused.
Looks like a black thing. Sorta scary and black. BLACK!
B”H there are enough sane people that Obama could still win this thing.
Speaking of dap, time to get this thread back on track:
Zoe, just from what you say there I don’t know if it’s right to take offense. All of those dishes are Southern tradition regardless of skin color. Hell, my mouth’s watering just thinking about black-eyed peas and cornbread.
Of course, if it’s a pattern of behavior that extends beyond the menu, then fuck ’em.
Candy said:
Dastardly doughnut design dismantled
Er, don’t tell Michelle Malkin but she’s got her work cut out for her among the cheese eating surrender monkeys of Scandinavia.
I haven’t read all of these comments, so excuse me if someone has already pointed out that the high-five thing, which whites have been doing for about 20 years now, was originally a black thing, which no one has seen a black person do in about oh 20 years. Ditto just about every other hep-cat gesture and bit of jargon and style of clothing since probably the 1920s. I give the wingnutz another five years to start doing this dap thing you kids are going on about.
[…] Now that Senator Obama has secured the nomination, the racists are coming out from under their rocks. […]
[…] June 8th, 2008 | | Politics | The wingnuttosphere is frothing over the Obama’s fist bump after he won the nomination. To some of them, it’s all threatening and ghetto and gang-related. Sadly No has read the blogs and provided the citations. […]
Don’t forget the High fiv’n white guys!
Don’t forget the High fiv’n white guys!
LOLz! If we suggest to the wingnuts that high-fiving is a Black Thing, won’t they have to cut their arms off in regret for all their triumphalism?
Oprah Winfrey’s Puma Patty
Ingredients:
4 pinches mysterious puma, flouncily dried
2 jiggers entire pomegranate, clustered
1 pint vast tooth of wolf, actively grilled
6 jiggers old mustang ear
1 gallon vanilla
1 gallon paprika
Cultivatedly grease a cookie sheet. Separate puma tongue from lung. Discard lung. Mash the pomegranate with the tooth of wolf over medium heat in a jar. Stuff the resulting goo into the puma. Dress the mustang ear, vanilla, and the paprika plaintively. Pile the latter combination on to the former. Bake for 129 minutes. Serves 4 personable individuals with generous stomachs.
Truly a volcanic meal.
I just lost a half hour or so looking at other “Almost Live” clips on Youtube.
Here’s one I don’t remember from back in the day:
Streetwalking Lawyers of Aurora Avenue.
…which no one has seen a black person do in about oh 20 years
Really, MzNicky. In this world of post-racism, even black people can be dorky nerdy dinkasauruses.
Nothing Obama could do would be as tacky as giving the Chancellor of Germany a back rub. It would be cool if the Teoiseach of Ireland gave him dap when they meet. I bet Bush doesn’t even know the PM of Ireland is called that.
Fried okra, yum.
I think you guys are being too hard on poor racist ignorant Folkist. He is, after all, historical correct in that the GOP is a party of Whiggers.
And biblically, the jewish people are the chosen.
Okay, that’s all I got. Even taking him totally out of context and spinning the best I could, he still comes off as an ignorant racist fuckwad.
This madness might finally have gone too far! Whitey be thievin’!
Hoosier X said,
Maresy doat and doesey doats
And liddle lambs edivey
I assume it will say, “Die, Whitey, Die!!”
Wouldn’t you?
Nah, doesn’t even begin to scan correctly.
Oh, the whole blog is about passive-agressive notes.Mmm. Sounds like fun.
I haven’t read all of these comments, so excuse me if someone has already pointed out that the high-five thing, which whites have been doing for about 20 years now, was originally a black thing
No, it’s a gay thing. Glenn Burke, gay, outfielder for the Dodgers, invented the high five in the early 70’s.
Freakin’ heteros, stealing stuff from Us Gays again and pretending that they did it.
If we suggest to the wingnuts that high-fiving is a Black Thing, won’t they have to cut their arms off in regret for all their triumphalism?
Indeed they will. It is central to my point.
No, it’s a gay thing.
It’s a black thing AND a gay thing! Hooray!
Funny stuff
I bet Bush doesn’t even know the PM of Ireland is called that.
The things Bush doesn’t know could fill a black hole. No offense.
McCain’s looking worse all the time. About the only thing he’s got going for him is his war record. Other than that there’s very little to sympathize with.
The things Bush doesn’t know could fill a black hole.
Apparently he hadn’t heard about the price of gas.
Kin we haz nu thred plz?
This is central to Larry Johnson’s point.
H/t Tbogg.
While you’re waiting, have a look at these
I saw those earlier today, Lesley. Nice.
Train in Vain
I bet Bush doesn’t even know the PM of Ireland is called that.
The PM of Ireland generally seems to be called Pat, apart from the occasions when he is a Biffo.
People, people, we get over before we go under.
We only used the dap because you jive ass ofays aren’t worthy to witness our true involved and complicated handshake/hi-five routine. Bitches.
If Barack HUSSEIN Obama is elected, the Statue of Libery will be replaced by a giant replica of Aunt Jemima.
Don’t worry — real, hard-working, white American patriots already have a plan to slap a coat of pale pink paint on it and turn it into Mrs. Butterworth.
Ah, but she too has fallen to the power of the dap!
Is it because I is black?
President Hussein X’s first 100 Days:
Day 1: Under threat of extraordinary rendition, Toni Morrison publicly forced to recant “first black President” comment about Bill Clinton.
Day 2: White House Press Secretary position renamed “Hype Man,” Chief of Staff becomes “Pimpin’ MC.”
Day 3:US Mint announces Malcom X and Tupak Shakur to replace Franklin and Hamilton on currency.
Day 4: Chuck D appointed Secretary of State.
Day 5: Ice T and 50 Cent named Attorney General and Secretary of Defense, respectively.
Day 6: Dr. Dre appointed to Surgeon General position.
Day 7: Ebonics declared Official Language of the US.
Day 8: To celebrate one week in office without being assassinated by whitey, President Hussein X opens nation’s arsenals, gives free guns to all non-Caucasians.
Day 9: Nation’s public school cafeterias see new, mandated menu: southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon. Iced tea available by request, motherfucker.
Day 10: White House lawn hosts first hip hop concert with reunited NWA; President vows to use stem cells from aborted white babies to bring Easy-E back from the dead.
Day 11. Reagan International Airport renamed Martin Luther King airport.
Day 12. The Reagan Building renamed Martin Luther King building.
Day 13. Washington Monument renamed Martin Luther King monument.
Day 14. Washington, D.C., renamed Martin Luther King, D.C.
Day 15: To celebrate two weeks in office without being assassinated by whitey, President Hussein X appropriates nation’s malt liquor supply and distributes it, free, to non-Caucasians.
Day 16. President declares Black History Month will now be 12 months long.
Day 17: Run DMC to replace Roosevelt, Jefferson and Washington on Mount Rushmore.
Day 18: Jay Z named US Poet Laureate. President assures an anxious nation that Nas is still the heir to Biggie Smalls.
Day 19: Nation of Islam admitted to United Nations.
Day 20: US Congress renamed: House will be “Parliament,” Senate will be “Funkadelic.”
Day 21: To celebrate three weeks of not being assassinated by whitey, President Hussein X appears in public and is immediately assassinated by whitey. Vice President Clinton assumes Oval Office.
Gloria Steinem, Bella Abzug and Betty Friedan to replace Run DMC on Mount Rushmore…
This is one of the reasons I was hoping for Obama to get the nomination, because I knew these idiots could never keep their racist stupidity quiet. We all know what kind of crap they have said and would have said about Hillary, I am tired of their Clinton fetish. Obama will force them to show their real colors as ther above has shown.
President Hussein X’s first 100 Days:
Somewhere in there, he’s going to Free Mumia!
Guys, it’s a public holiday here, The weekend papers are
sooo far behind the blogosphere it’s pitiful, and yet no new thread.
I’m sure the rest of the No!s are preparing for another week of slog, but seriously, maybe you could get some guest post masters? Like mikey. Or the kiwi guy?
– MC
Wait, wait, wait, wait…I thought O’Bama was Irish…
There’s always the History Thread, Magda.
The terror continues to spread . . . .
Will anyone think of the children?
low-class ignorant ghetto gangstas
you mean “elitist low-class ignorant egghead ivory-tower ghetto ivy-league gangstas
Wait, wait, wait, wait…I thought O’Bama was Irish…
You’ve never heard of the Black Irish?
Being the father of two sons who play little league baseball, I find this hilarious. After every game, we line up the kids for the traditional handshake – but of course, only the adult coaches actually shake hands. The kids all give each other fist bumps.
I live in a fairly affluent, mostly white, NYC suburb (used to be rural, but that’s another story). At every sporting event involving kids – male or female, from 6 year-olds through high school – these fist bumps are common place. What kind of hole do these people live in?
JRod: can I have your greens? And the ham hocks if you don’t like them?
“Next you are going to see southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as your daily meal.”
Bring it!
And more iced tea, too, mothe….um, please.
Senator Obama told me in secret that he is really a SITH LORD!!11!
The Leprechaun said,
June 9, 2008 at 17:00
Wait, wait, wait, wait…I thought O’Bama was Irish…
You’ve never heard of the Black Irish?
———————
I fuckin ‘ate pikeys…
“…expressing fears that next up are “a pimped-out Escalade”, “Spinners on the Presidential Limo”, “grafitti [sic] on Air Force One”, and “pants down around their butts…”
Point being? That would actually be kind of phat….
We used to do this ‘fist touch’ or whatever it is when we were kids in an upper middle class area called Lawrence Park in Toronto – in 1959.
If only we’d known the true meaning of the gesture….our lives might have turned out differently.
You americans are funny. No wonder your time as a Super Power is finally over. Good riddance.
No wonder your time as a Super Power is finally over.
The fear is such that you still capitalize Super Power.
Sean said,
“Being the father of two sons who play little league baseball, I find this hilarious. After every game, we line up the kids for the traditional handshake – but of course, only the adult coaches actually shake hands. The kids all give each other fist bumps.”
Hah! Obama is actually a clandestine little-leaguer! It all makes sense now.
And, even though he lives on the South Side, I bet he roots for the Cubs!
Now now, if you are going to quote my blog give credit where credit is due….I did not coin the term long legged pimp, that is courtesy of Obama fan Rev. Manning.
Personally I think he’ a flaming socialist douche bag. I jut think Long Legged Pimp is funny as hell. Good day.
“Personally I think he’ a flaming socialist douche bag.”
That’s because you wouldn’t know socialism if it bit you in the ass.
“I jut think Long Legged Pimp is funny as hell.”
That’s because you’re racist.
They still call it the White House, but that’s a temporary condition, are you with me CC?
I for one welcome our new elitist ghetto Muslim gangster overlords. They have the best picnics.
Those who don’t know history are destined to vote Republican.
let me tell you something: if barack obama gets elected president, and i find myself “see[ing] southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as [my] daily meal,” then two of my dreams will have come true.
I can get behind all the soul food. Except black eyed peas. They taste like dirt and I think the world’s trying to play an elaborate joke on me pretending they don’t. They’re not food, they’re feed!
The J Train said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:56
It’s a little known fact that Obama has been both a Crip and a Blood, as well as a Warrior, a Latin King, and a Newsie.
He’s been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet; a pawn and a king.
Brenda’s got a big ole butt.
I know I told I’d be true.
But Brenda’s got a big ole butt.
So I’m leaving you.
Due to the S1Ws taking over the Black House in 2009, my next historical volume will be reduced to parsing:
“I’m the kind of nigger who is built to last.
You wanna mess with me, I’ll put a boot in your ass.
Can’t… handle… high levels… of ignorance… ::twitches::
I hope OBAMA throws hip hop concerts on the White house lawn! (“heathengrafix”)
So do I! That would be AWESOME! Seriously, DC is way too stuffy.
I yearn for the day when the national anthem is “Fuck Tha Police”. I’ll be just like that Michael Bolton guy in Office Space and blast it in my compact.
[…] I swear our discourse cannot become any stupider. […]
“Personally I think he’ a flaming socialist douche bag.”
Ha ha ha he’s way to the right of our ‘conservative’ Prime Minister here in Canada, although we suck eggs compared with Sweden or the UK, socialism-wise.
Good thing the ‘I think’ was added, although it was used inappropriately.
“A video will be coming out of her telling “whitey to die”. Meaning white people!”
I hope the video is contained on a thumb drive, otherwise this could be seriously painful.
Jenn, thank you for showing off the superior intellectual capabilities of the conservative base.
“Personally I think he’ a flaming socialist douche bag.”
Byron couldn’t have said it more gracefully. Except that Byron probably would have spelled “he’s” correctly.
[…] Sadly, No! blog has done the job of rounding up the idiots for me. I chat almost every night with my […]
Jenn,
thank you for showing off the superior intellectual capabilities of the conservative base