There’s one person that could bring us back to the business of Sadly, No!

And that person is… Kerry L. Marsala. In this week’s column, Kerry has some very, very scary news to share with us, her loyal audience:

but all across this nation our public schools are reaping what we’ve so carelessly sown as parents.

Ladies and gentlemen: Kerry L. Marsala has children. (We believe their names are Pete M. and Ben Shapiro.)

There are sixth graders having sex before comprehension of consequences

If only those sixth graders could understand that every time they have sex a new right wing nut is born and spends an entire column complaining about other people getting some while they can’t, perhaps they’d think twice about what they’re doing.

and there are seventh grade students lying in hospital beds after a Wednesday morning “cat fight” at a local Jr. High School

Peterman: Well, I see what’s going on in here. I am smack dab in the middle of a good old fashioned cat fight.
Elaine: Mr. Peterman, this is not a cat fight. This is violent psychotic behavior directed at me all because are told her to swing her arms.
Peterman: Woof!
Elaine: Do you mean “reer?”
Peterman: Yes, that’s the one! Good day Elaine.

When did we as the responsible adults decide that we’d just give birth to this human being, dress it up, play with it when convenient, call it our son or daughter, and then just hand it over to the world to deal with when we didn’t want to deal anymore?

Uh, when we realized that we had married America’s Worst Mother?

Why when children misbehave do we automatically feel we must run to the doctor and demand a pill to control their behaviors? Are we raising a generation of children on “Mother’s little helpers?” We must be, because it would seem we don’t want to deal with behavioral problems at all. According to a recent study released by, CMDA News and Views on 8/19/04, ADHD is hard to diagnose, but once diagnosed can be treated. Many of our children may be suffering from bipolar disorder.

Even if our children are suffering from bipolar disorder however, we must not run to the doctor to get medication — because that kind of automatic (or dare we say obsessive compulsive) behavior is wrong. We just have to recognize that our children are suffering from a serious illness, and then try to cure it by putting hot sauce on their tongue when they misbehave. (After that we can start worrying about conservative pundits suffering from cognitive dissonance.)

Many of the cases of behavior problems can be contributed to substance abuse used by the mother when pregnant or by a chaotic living environment.

Just like very bad writing by Kerry can be contributed to her parents’ neglect of her as a child. Or something.

Our nation is looking at a growing problem of children who are at mental risk.

We’d go so far as to say that it’s not just the children who are at mental risk…

They’ll find ways to obtain love- pregnancy out of wedlock-several times over- abortions- moving from relationship to relationship- drugs, alcohol, psychiatrist couches, mental hospital ward[.]



Comments: 11


While it’s fun to poke fun at the dim-witted, there really are people with problems out there. One of the biggest causes, and easiest to correct, is nutrition. Remember when sugar was bad for you and made you get fat? It still is and it still does.

When you feed kids sugar and get them high on it, they crash. This, in our modern enlightened age, signals a Ritalin deficiency.

It used to be that no one needed serotonin re-uptake inhibitors. You’d just take triptophan. Now, thanks to science, and a poison batch of supplements from Japan that appeared when SRIs came out, we now know that it’s a Paxil deficiency.

Sorry. I rant. My apologies.


You’re right. It is fun.


Woah, that’s out there~~
I think someone needs to diagnose Kerry as Bipolar…


They’ll find ways to obtain love- pregnancy out of wedlock-several times over- abortions- moving from relationship to relationship- drugs, alcohol, psychiatrist couches, mental hospital wards, performing another Columbine, and quite possibly the sad repeat of the next generation who will be raised to put “I” first before anyone or anything else.

I’m confused – what’s this about abortions moving from relationship to relationship? Abortion is legal, it can have as many relationships as it wants. Kerry isn’t insisting on abortion remaining monogomous is she?

….ok, I’m just being an asshat…but is suuure is fun! 😀


MM, can you email us? sadlyno @ Thanks.


I’m overdosing on World O Crap and Sadly No! today. It’s fun to laugh at this baffling ignorance, but depressing to see the sheer number of people who believe this type of thinking is normal, or who actually believe this is thinking. I don’t know where this comes from, or to what I can “contribute” it.


We’ll invest in stocks, plastic surgeries, manicures, dye jobs, shopping excursions, career climbing, sports cars, oversized houses, but we won’t invest in our children.

How nice it must be to live in that world blessed by Voltaire’s God, where every problem is caused by your opponents’ ignorance and immorality! What joy in proclaiming your undying concern for The Children while simultaneously complaining about any tax monies going for healthcare, nutrition, or teaching those miserable ingrates who can’t speak Our Language! In fact, things are so good in Kerry’s world she might consider taking a bit of time away from her fifteen hobbies and screed scribbling to actually volunteer in an inner-city school. Anything except tutoring English, I mean.


Oh, doghouse riley, you made my day by just KNOWING about Voltaire’s God! Thank you.

As for wingnuts pissing and moaning about how other people raise their kids….pot, kettle, black. Everything you do in the raising of children affects them in some way and you don’t get to know what that is unless/until they show you or tell you. That’s part of what makes it such an interesting adventure. If you care how it turns out, you pay attention to the hints along the way and try to do your best to mitigate the damage that will happen regardless.

I agree with the OD on sugar comment. My kids get treats, but it’s tightly regulated. At the same time, as the parent of a child with neurological difficulties, I really resent the hell out of people assuming my son is on medication because I’m lazy. I would SO rather he not be on the medication, but until they can figure out what, exactly, is going on with his brain, the meds help him concentrate in school. Five doctors so far, no concrete answers.

I know some people are willing to medicate kids unnecessarily, but I doubt they’re the majority. (If someone has actual scientific stats, I’d appreciate a link.) Wouldn’t it make more sense to look for the reasons why (a) medication is pushed by teachers, administrators and doctors as the quick solution and (b) there are more and more cases of autism and other brain disorders arising in today’s kids?? Just a thought. Not something Kerry is particularly good at.


Reba, it really is becoming a problem, because of the Divine Mandate to Maximize Profits. The only way you can do this consistently is by selling more of your stuff. Thus Coke constantly pushes the idea that you should be drinking Coke all the time and puts soda machines in schools and fiercely resists any efforts to restrain them from selling to children. So what if all your kids teeth fall out? Our shareholders got their dividends.

And drug companies are just the same. The scandal of how they bribe doctors is simmering and has been for years, it isn’t just antidepressants, it’s all kinds of things. Thus the suppression of *parts of* trials and studies like the one that showed that some antidepressants can increase suicide in children.

Where I was working, I was the oldest woman in the office – all the rest were in their mid twenties to late teens. And I was the only one who had not been taking SSRIs since adolescence.

The problem isn’t that they aren’t good for some people – the problem is that the people who are selling them are willing to do so to all people without caring if they’re good for everyone or not, let alone necessary.

(Hence too the problem that antidepressents are now becoming detectable in water supplies in the US and the UK – because the kidneys don’t break the compounds down.)


You have requested my presence……viola!

alias: mm


Dammit, I remember when Mother’s Little Helper existed to sedate housewives only. With all the abortions and prescription medications, the kids are having all the fun nowadays. This must stop!


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