Shorter Dan Riehl
Posted on May 19th, 2008 by Brad
- The Republicans’ recent string of devastating electoral losses proves that everyone in the country really agrees with me after all.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Really, you just gotta read that post and stare in awe at the remarkable amount of delusion he displays. When Republicans are winning elections, that’s proof that all Americans are hard-core right-wingers. And when Republicans get their asses kicked? Well, that’s just further proof that Americans are hard-core right-wingers!
Memo to Dan: sometimes a silent majority is only silent because it doesn’t exist.
Compliments of Jon Stewart and the gang…
http://www.indecision2008.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=168644
…bc…
Tor like pie….
I give up… what exactly is it that liberalism “failed at again”?
Sadly, no. Greg Davis got his ass whooped.
I give up… what exactly is it that liberalism “failed at again”?
One could argue that liberals were in charge of the education system that educated Dan Riehl. That speaks volumes.
Just like Iraq, apparently. Tails we win, heads they lose.
.
That’s a lame rationalization I hadn’t heard yet. Have they revised the Big Golden Book of Republican Talking Points since Appeasementgate? I better do some research. (That means “go to Rush’s Web site.”)
Liberals. Hmf.
Clearly, these election figures I’ve done show that the Democrats’ recent string of election victories shows that there’s an uptick of support for Bush, which will lead to a landslide victory for McCain in November.
Basically, the Democrat that got elected in Mississippi was pro-gun rights and pro-life. The fact that he was anti-war, pro-SCHIP, and came in on a reform platform in the face of wide-scale GOP corruption simply shows how little people care about war, health care, and government corruption.
Shorter Shorter Dan Riehl: Macaca ’08!
There’s actual discussion over there as to whether or not Obama is going to take away their guns. Seriously.
I liked his other post about Jesus and the money-changers at the temple. He said that Jesus wasn’t “anti-capitalist at all. Rather, Jesus wanted to teach the poor,: “how to increase their own fortunes and help others become wealthier.”
Crespo Dollar is right!
Keep in mind when that annuity salesman calls you during Jeopardy. If you hang up on him — you could be hanging up on our Resurrected Lord and Savior!
Somebody needs to tell Riehl the more commonly accepted meaning of “neo-liberalism.” Not it!
Shorter Dan Riehl:
ME
Yyyyyyyep! Neoliberalism is the typical term used for “laissez faire” capitalists, and the pro-big business arm of the GOP. Riehl is most likely confusing it with the term New Left, which was coined during the 1960’s/70’s. The New Left is the yardstick that the GOP likes to use as a measure of what is wrong with the world… after all, it was invented by DFHs.
The silent but deadly majority?
Yeah, that “neoliberalism” thing scrambled MY circuits too – I’m guessing it’s there because it sounds all intellectualish & stuff.
Every major reputable opinion-poll EVER in the US has resulted in most “average Americans” giving a POV that even the mainstream Democrats would call “far-left” … pro-disarmament, 2-state solution in Israel, universal medicare, willingness to pay MORE tax if they get to enjoy the public benefits, etcetera … but please don’t tell the Corporate-Socialist Republic Of Wingtardia any of that — they might get embarrassed & shut up, thus no longer aiming fresh volleys of verbal 12-gauge rounds at their cloven hooves.
Shorter Danny Boy: “I love the smell of chapped GOP ass in the morning. It smells like victory to me.”
Oh well. At least one GOPer will be happy on November 5th.
Nah. In politics, the disgusting gasbags are never silent. Ever.
The fact is, Dan Riehl was a caesarian birth, because his mother always liked that hairstyle.
The fact is, John Kerry’s smear of the troops will cost the Democrats dearly in November. Every Democrat should line up to disavow Kerry, who thinks that the troops are dumb.
Would you please start correcting your spelling? The phrase should be:
Right-whingers!
Ed
WHAT!? Exactly did Mr. Johnson ever do to deserve such derision?
ok, ‘sides that one gig…
The fact is, no one will be able to tell that it isn’t Bela Lugosi behind the cape. What? This scene is supposed to be at night? Whatever, this take is fine. Moving on…
TIME FOR GO TO BED!!!
Don’t be afraid of Lobo. He’s as harmless as a kitchen.
Why must we only talk about Ed Woods? The Master is greatly disturbed. We must not forget the other bad cult movies, for the Master would not approve.
Give poor Dan a break. Losing a seat in rural Mississippi to a Democrat has to hurt. Let him cling to: But it’s a conservative Democrat!. Did anyone think that a Ted Kennedy clone would carry that district? S/N!
What happened to the bright young Torgo that I hired?
To be like the Hu-man to Feel like the Hu-man – still even as we are – we are smarter than Dan
Gee, thanks. Tor Johnson –> Ed Wood –>Michael Medved –> GAG.
There’s actual discussion over there as to whether or not Obama is going to take away their guns. Seriously.
Back before the ’96 election, maybe the October before, young Matt T. had a journalism assignment to go out and interview random goobers in one of the plethora of little towns that surrounded Gainesville, Florida. I’m serious, there’s a shit-ton of little one-stoplight burgs all around UF, many of which are places where old hippies and townies went to set up antique shops and accoustic music venues and folk art gallaries, and since it was the ’90s, white people could get away with shit like that.
There were also plenty of son redneck towns, and I pulled one of them. Which is okay, because I can speak their language. One guy told me he was a-votin’ for Bob Dole because he was sure Bill Clinton would take away his guns were he elected. “Sir,” I said because obviously this was a guy you didn’t want to insult needlessly, “surely after four years of uncut Clinton, you’re secure in your gun ownership.”
The guy stopped, pondered this new stroke for a bit, and came back with, “Well, course he waited until they couldn’t run him off. Just watch.” And I tell y’all, I don’t think I’ve ever been around anybody more certain of anything than that man was of Bill Clinton using his unshakeable second term to take away some peckerwood’s 12-guage. I know another guy who who told me, with a straight face both times, that both Al Gore and John Kerry were planning on taking his guns. Couldn’t cite any specific policies from either or pull any quote from either that advocated total disarmament of rednecks, but by God, he knew it from the very deepest part of him.
I honestly don’t know how to deal with people like that. It’s like dealing with people who get into quantum woo stuff like “The Secret”. I always have the sinking suspicion that they’re a part of a joke at my expense, and that makes me uncomfortable.
5 will get you 10 that we wake up on November 5th this year and discover the Riehl-diehl is that Obama was a very conservative candidate all along and that the problem with McCain from the start was that he wasn’t conservative enough, thus proving that the American electorate really agreed with conservatives and – possibly – that the fall of Saigon would be the first steps of the victory parade for International Communism. Would be, that is, if Alger Hiss hadn’t secretly replaced the real Yalta accords with a set that allowed Soviet troops to magically appear all across Eastern Europe where they never had been before not ever nuh-unh times ten. Some might argue that none of those things actually happened, and I do not attempt to deny that. Indeed, it only strengthens my point. Because shut up, that’s why.
A part of me wants the government to take away their guns, just so they’ll have to come up with something else.
Even if it is just, “The government wants to take my bullets!”
Cause, I mean, of course we can let them keep the bullets. It’s not like anyone but professional baseball players or football players could get enough speed on the bullet with a toss to hurt someone.
Riehl always looks like he’s suffering from an intense headache.
(Incidentally, the real-life Tor was reportedly a really nice guy, who probably would have coughed up a Swedish meatball at the prospect of being compared to a certified turdbiter like Riehl.)
“Riehl always looks like he’s suffering from an intense headache.”
That would be physical manifestation of the stupid.
I has been out sick for a whole week, and R just now getting my daily dosage of SN. Now I wanna commit sepuku. The raw unending stupid is hurting me worse than my illnesses. Jeebus these people are mind-bendingly stupid – not pig-ignorant – just plain box of rocks stupid.
We should spread the rumor that Obama’s going to let you keep your guns, but they will have to be kept and operated by a black man who will be assigned to live in your home as a guard and sentry.
Republican housewives will vote for Obama in droves, though they’ll lie to their husbands about it.
More seriously, someone in Minneapolis should sell 2004-style purple heart band-aids to Republican conventioneers. I bet they’d buy them by the truckload, and they’d just end up looking stupid. And in 2008, with 4000+ dead in Iraq it might look even worse.
The government wants to take my temperature.
Rectally.
Hi!! [rriipp]
Fascism fascism…….fascismfasicmfascism…..fascism.
Bye! [brrrunnnnng]
Wow, they just love this argument.
Gary Ruppert Classics, Vol. 6 said,
Yer nom de blog, cracked my shit right up. Thank you, sir.
I remember reading the real GR spew in that vein. Nice work.
The government wants to take our cold dead hands!
Hey! Don’t I get any love? I’m a greater hack auteur than that Wood fruit. Who else would think to have John Carradine sing a soulful western ballad?
Touch a button, things happen.
Riehl is most likely confusing it with the term New Left
Assuming a thinking process is an error over there.
I had Lon Chaney Jr. singing an R&B twist. Coleman Francis can eat my shit.
So that’s Riehl. Does he always look like that? Like the walrus whose blue bukkit just got snatched away?
Dan Riehl’s personal homepage
Btw, courtesy of Lindsay…and I’m posting this here because the teevee page is long gone now… the Korean show, Lobbyist is available on line in its entirety with English subtitles. Enjoy!
C’mon. Give him credit for something. He managed to peg the stoopid-o-meter in a handful of sentences. That’s something.
But here’s what I don’t understand: Unfortunately, we haven’t seen much genuine conservatism from the GOP in a while either. And there-in lies their problem.
Their? THEIRinterrobang-to-the-nth-power
What’s wit dis “them” crap coming from a butt-boy for the elephant dick party?
Dan Riehl’s personal homepage
Wikipedia’s disambiguation page for this term cracked me up.
I saw Lon Chaney Jr. walkin with the queen, doin the werewolves of London.
ah-wooooo!
I had myself singing a love song! Hah! I totally win!
The fuckin fact is, fuck all of you and your facts.
No Gary, choo fucked up mang.
Where’s the love for Roger Corman?
Wasp Woman was one of the most important films of my youth.
(uhh…uhhh…….uuhhhhhhh………UHHHHH………UUUUHHHHHHHHHHH!!!)
Cigarette?
Tor Johnson was born in Sweden around the turn of the century and by the early 1930’s was barnstorming the United States as a professional wrestler, usually under the name of the Super Swedish Angel.
The Wasp Woman, in a double feature.
I have this recurring vision of a future documentary covering the current election. Said vision inspired by Plan 9. At one point the narrator says “Suddenly, the old man died.”
Is that too much to ask for? Does that make me a bad person?
I suppose WordPress is going to eat this post for containing a link, but you MUST PLAY VIDEO!
Flying Penis Invades Russian Political Scene
The last thing I wanted to do this Monday night was spend several hours writing, editing, and typing this letter. However, I needed to do it because it’s clearly the best way to deal with Barack Obama’s shiftless long-term goals on a case-by-case basis. One of my objectives is to carry out the famous French admonition, écrasez l’infâme!, against Barack’s epigrams.
When I say that immoralism is sustained by rigid ideological categories, I don’t just mean that he wants to censor by caricature and preempt discussion by stereotype, that he wants to project a stream of contumelious images of death, sex, disaster, material goods, celebrities, and other fixtures in a mock-Olympian firmament, or that he wants to usher in the beginning of a haughty new era of scapegoatism. Sure, Barack doubtlessly wants all that but he also wants much more. He wants to twist the truth.
Ten years ago, it was piteous drug lords. Today, it’s prolix saboteurs of various stripes who make the pot of sesquipedalianism overboil and scald the whole world. The first thing we need to do is to get Barack to admit that he has a problem. He should be counseled to recite the following:
* I, Barack Obama, am a wishy-washy harijan.
* I have been a participant in a giant scheme to till the out-of-touch side of the phallocentrism garden.
* I hereby admit my addiction to gnosticism. I ask for the strength and wisdom to fight this addiction.
Once Barack realizes that he has a problem, maybe then he’ll see that he appears to have found a new tool to use to help him scatter about in profusion an abundance of pro-Barack metanarratives. That tool is opportunism, and if you watch Barack wield it, you’ll unequivocally see why if I said that women are spare parts in the social repertoire — mere optional extras — I’d be a liar. But I’d be being totally honest if I said that I believe in “live and let live”. Barack, in contrast, demands not only tolerance and acceptance of his grievances but endorsement of them. It’s because of such cynical demands that I assert that he has had it easy all his life. End of story. Actually, I should add that if you’re the type who dares to think for yourself, then you’ve probably already determined that there is a simple answer to the question of what to do about his effusions. The difficult part is in implementing the answer. The answer is that we must address the continued social injustice shown by maledicent lunatics. Now that you’ve read my entire letter, I hope you’ve concluded that my plan to keep our courage up is deserving of serious consideration.
The fact of the matter is that when the Republicans sweep back to power due to the illegitimate nomination of Barack Hussein Obama, seats like the one in Mississippi will be lost.
You elitists don’t know what it’s like down here in real America. I can guarantee that the extreme liberal Obama is not going to get many votes outside of black enclaves and college towns. He’s a whiny thin-skinned sexist.
He has only won this nomination because he is the last male standing and the Manocrats are scared of an assertive woman.
Is that too much to ask for? Does that make me a bad person?
I’ve just been watching the McCain advertisement over at Crooked Timber, and speculating that it is made up of the lost 30 minutes of footage from Things to Come, so PeeJ can have his Plan-9 references.
Tor Johnson’s monster roles scared the living/dying CRAP outa me as a kid . A small B&W tv in my P’s room , they out for the night and me watching “Chilly Billy Cardilly ” and the fantastic scary movies on tin-foil rabbit ears , the broadcast station 70 miles away coming closer like a snow-covered killer .
And , , , Gee Dumbya Bushit does the same thing to me today .
Tor taught me , as did Karloff , Lee , Cheney ( my Parents ) et. al. ; to not quake ‘n quail at nasty and horrible humanoids ruining my walk in da wild & wonderful woods of my personality .
But to instead Shove their FearMongering Dickwadery Up their own ASS , Sideways !
THX , Tor .
Also, Clinton will carry a popular vote lead into the convention. But due to her gender, she is being bullied into leaving a race that she is the best candidate for.
Barry Hussein Obama is an untested thin-skinned candidate who can’t handle the heat. The guy had to take a vacation everyweek because he doesn’t have the endurance to handle the heat.
Praise FSM, by this time tomorrow it’s almost certain Clinton will have been mathematically eliminated from the contest.
OMFG
I haven’t thought about Chilly Billy Cardille in many many years.
That brings up some seriously strange memories.
…by this time tomorrow it’s almost certain Clinton will have been mathematically eliminated from the contest.
I sure hope so. This latest trend of the blast-fax-talking-points trolls posing as Clinton supporters is even more tired and stupid and lame than the “real heartland Americans” kick was. Not that a Clinton defeat will stop them, especially if Hillary doubles down and gets even more steely resolve with each loss.
by this time tomorrow it’s almost certain Clinton will have been mathematically eliminated from the contest
Nope, all reasonable projections show Clinton expanding her popular vote lead by 375K votes.
Obama will narrowly win in Oregon, netting him around 50K more votes. But Clinton will overwhelmingly win Kentucky and gain 425K vote votes.
She’s not quitting, that’s for sure. But that’s okay. I think I speak for many of us when I say that we didn’t necessarily want her to drop out. We wanted her to change her ways. She does seem to have moved from “attack Obama no matter the cost to the party” mode. As long as she doesn’t go that route, I have nothing against her running until the end.
I very much enjoy speaking for other people.
Also, all reasonable projections show all Clinton supporters gaining a pony.
Yeah, if you include FL & MI, but conveniently leave out IA, NV, ME, WA
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2008/president/democratic_vote_count.html
Clinton never adopted a slash and burn policy. Obama just can’t take the heat. He’s a total wimp who has never had to fight for what he got.
She does seem to have moved from “attack Obama no matter the cost to the party” mode. As long as she doesn’t go that route, I have nothing against her running until the end.
I’ll agree with this. I’d be happier if the discussion of the Democratic primary had more to do with issues and contrasts with the Republicans, but if it’s not just about tearing the party apart, that’s a step up.
Yup, exactly. Which is why he entered the race for president against an “inevitable” nominee who had the backing of the democratic establishment, a massive warchest, and every possible advantage… and promptly kicked her ass. Hell, I don’t love Obama, but that he was able to become the Democratic nominee in “Hilary’s year” and not have to “wait his turn” is incredible.
And don’t forget an extreme liberal! Which for some reason is… bad for a Democrat?
But I’m sure that wasn’t just one of our trolls’ normal tics outting them when trying to disguise themselves as a Clintonite.
But I’m sure that wasn’t just one of our trolls’ normal tics outting them when trying to disguise themselves as a Clintonite.
Yeah, that’s what makes them so easy to spot as the usual rightards. There’s disagreement among the Democrats, but it hasn’t gone so far as to make them start demonizing “liberals”.
Spew the same Rushbo bullshit for 15 years and your face just sticks like that, I guess.
Is it me or does DRiehl look like he’s regretting his decision to use the Bunker Buster butt plug?
Actually, if you count the caucus results from IA, NV, ME, and WA, Obama doesn’t take the lead.
Plus, the caucuses have been shown to be distorted. Obama wins the Nebraska caucus by 30+, but wins the primary by around 5, for example.
Obama only won the midwest caucuses because he buddied up to the establishment in those states (Nelson, Dorgan, Sebelius), who are all jealous of Hillary Clinton.
who are all jealous of Hillary Clinton.
-10 troll points for lack of originality.
Hillary’s track record of supporting the invasion of Iraq combined with her low-blow campaign tactics – race-baiting and promoting McCain over Obama if she can’t have the win – makes her a risky prospect for voters after eight years of a morally bankrupt administration. If there was ever a time to at least appear to take the high road in politics, this is it and she can’t seem to manage to do that.
If there was ever a time to at least appear to take the high road in politics…
And Bill O’Reilly even tried to help her.
Silly lie-bruls, Iowa City is indeed a city.
As for the “it’s her time” campaign strategy, certainly, it’d be great if a woman could be president, but what America needs is a person with a social conscience, a brain, a backbone and some decency. If these happen to come with a vagina, that’d be a bonus for women everywhere, but if I wouldn’t be basing my vote on genitals. (Certainly, if I’d lived in England at the time of Margaret Thatcher, she would never have gotten my vote, not because she’s female but because she was rightwing scum. If feminism taught me anything it’s that genitals are genitals…they have nothing to do with capability or intelligence.)
Shalom, gentlemen.
Actually, sometime last week, she hinted to her supporters to vote for Obama if she loses… it’s her “supporters” who are promoting McCain over Obama. And when I say “supporters”, I really do mean it in the ironic sense.
At this point, I think the ones who make the claim that they’re going to vote for McCain if she loses are most likely GOP operatives who’d like to see her run against McCain because they know she will be a weaker candidate with the tons of political baggage she carries.
Praise FSM, by this time tomorrow it’s almost certain Clinton will have been mathematically eliminated from the contest.
And then it’s on to Puerto Rico!
Here’s the Colón tune. I haven’t found the reggaeclintón, but I will. Oh, but I will!
Silly lie-bruls, Iowa City is indeed a city.
OK, then. Let me think….
Los Angeles River!!
Here’s the Colón tune.
The YouTube tags: HILLARY CLINTON WILLIE COLON OBAMA KENNEDY IRAK PRIMARY DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENT DENIRO JACK NICHOLSON BRITNEY SEX grassroots outreach news
Clinton has two tunes: a traditional salsa composed for her by legendary Puerto Rican musician Willie Colón and a youth- oriented meld of hip-hop and Latin pop known as reggaeton.
That reggaeton sounds kind of neat. She didn’t even campaign here in Utah, let alone have that played for us! No fair.
She could have at least gotten somebody to meld old-time dance fiddling and Mormon hymns for us!
This has to be central to somebody’s point.
Really, has no one watched the video for more than the first 30 seconds, or are you all to sober-minded and serious to snicker at such foolishness?
Really, has no one watched the video for more than the first 30 seconds, or are you all to sober-minded and serious to snicker at such foolishness?
Oh, I watched it alright…and was outraged by the implied advocacy for circumcision.
Blue Buddha, she’ll need to do more than hint once she bows out. Although I’m reluctant to believe any Democrat would throw their vote behind McCain over Obama, Hillary has generated enough of this stupid doubt that she’ll need to throw her support behind Obama past losing the nomination. There’s no doubt that Obama would back her if the opposite was true. She needs to stand behind the Democratic Party, not the party of herself.
Iris whoever you are, don’t even kid with that opening. Posing as Saul is about as funny as a Chris Muir strip.
Lol. I guess I’ve been brainwashed by the anti-foreskin MSM.
Who you gonna believe, me, or your lyin’ eyes?
[…] since found: Thers’ ” The Trimmings of Slim Victory,” Sadly, No’s “Shorter Dan Riehl” and Digby’s “A Majority Of Better Democrats,” about the idiotic Blue Dog […]
I’m very sober minded about flying peni. It’s always funny until someone loses an eye.
Daaaaannnnnn … Daaaaannnnn … Daaaaannnn Riiiiiehlllllll … give me back my haaaaiiirrr, Daaaaaannnn … aaaaaaall the other daaaaamned sooooouuuls are laaaaaughing aaat meeeeeee …
Chilly Billy references? Outstanding! Brings back memories of my youth in the Iron City area. Remember that he played himself (as a newscaster, with a straight face) in the originial Night of the Living Dead?
Ahhhh, ye olde, “The only reason DUMMYcrats are winning is because true Americans are so disgusted by the Republicans going all left*, and thus aren’t voting” argument.
See, this falls apart immediately, because it either means;
A: Republicans are so comically inept and/or easily lead by the nose that they can’t nominate true Conservatives to run for office.
B: Republicans are whimp-ass little pussy cry babies who go home and shut themselves in their rooms for a good sulk when things don’t go their way.
So which is it, Mr. Riehl?
*As per the Bizzaro Politics system.
Wait, is CSCT a troll? Because talk of “the illegitimate nomination of Barack Hussein Obama” is pretty bad even for a troll. I assumed it was parody but now I’m not sure.
Also, Clinton will carry a popular vote lead into the convention
guess what, asshole? That totally doesn’t count. Mmmkay?
That’s nothing new. The Russians have been making flying penises for years.
http://www.ils.unc.edu/~gerogers/jomc222/images/lenin_poster.jpg
Its gonna be difficult for bill to sneer at jesse jackson’s win in souh carolina and then claim hillary’s win in kentucky means something. obama will win an absolute majority in pledged delegates and the uncommitted superdelegates will declare for him. and then, heh heh, after he warned ’em, the repelicans will say something nasty about his wife, and cindy the junkie-thief will dominate the news over hillary’s concession speech.
“i’m sick of it, believe me i am, of everybody calling me an alcoholic.”
No Some Guy, Riehl isn’t saying the Rs have drifted left, he equates traditional American values with corporate handouts, corruption, treason, torture, unwarranted war, and excessive unjustified spending. Greed and avarice is what he believes Americans prize most and what they’ll eventually return to if they are true Americans.
the illegitimate nomination of Barack Hussein Obama
Hmm. That doesn’t quite work as a band-name. As the title of a book, though, it follows the pattern of The Alchemical Marriage of Alistair Compton.
Riehl? Really? The man can’t think, and he certainly can’t write. Dan Riehl is such a lightweight assbiter that it is a waste of time to talk about him. Or, it would be, if he didn’t get on the teevee and spread his illiterate bullshit.
BTW: Found some reggaeton. If you’re not familiar with it, check it out. After listening to a few samples I realized I’d heard some before on the surprisingly good community radio station here in Salt Lake City.
Still doesn’t make me a Clinton supporter, but I thank her campaign (via J-) for introducing me to the genre.
Some sort of heat-sensitive, color-change clothing or hats would be nice. After, say a half-hour of wear they change from “John McCain 08” to “Lispy McPander 0-Never”