Moonbats In Party Hats: The Portlanding

So, about this thing we’ve been talking about. We’ll be meeting up on Monday, June 2nd., in Portland, Oregon, for a combined Drinking Sadlyly event and, um, someone’s bachelor party. It will be a non-gendered bachelor party, with drinking of alcohol, goatishness, and burping if desired, according to no division by chromosomal letter.


The only thing is, we haven’t figured out a location yet. What’s a chill sort of place in Portland (with a good beer selection) in a neighborhood that’s convenient both for locals and for folks coming in from out of town?


Comments: 63


I’d go to Ron Tom’s on E. Burnside and 6th. Great atmosphere.


Lucky Lab brewery, McMennamins, Bridgeport brewery…..


Ron Tom’s is a decent choice, as would be the Night Light, the Matador, the Bonfire, Basement Pub, Shanghai Tunnel, Amnesia Brewery, Rogue Pub, maybe, and lots more, too.


Let’s see, there’s:
The Alibi, an outlandish and somewhat divey tiki bar. The neon will blow your fucking mind. Features the kind of karaoke that’s just drunk people screaming.
McMenamin’s Kennedy School, an entire elementary school turned into a temple of drinking and hippie art. Big and very civilized.
The White Eagle. Famous whorehouse. Historic.
The Lucky Labrador, a popular brewpub on Hawthorne. A little birkenstocky. No hard liquor!
The Horse Brass, a raging English pub. If it’s a busy night, leave your lungs at home. Smoky.

Stay the hell away from A) the west side (sucks) B) the Space Room (overcrowded and smoky) C) the Doug Fir (meat market for suburban assholes).


Oh, and it wouldn’t be a trip to Portland without strippers, and Ron Tonm’s is right by Union Jacks, so… Also, no McMennamins.


I cast ten symbolic votes against Lucky Lab (I don’t like the food, there’s only beer, and it feels like a cafeteria) and state a general preference for east side. Can’t really say exactly where we should go without an idea of how many people are coming. I do like the Concordia Ale House.

That said, I myself am coming.


The Horse Brass is good, but everyone there is apparently hooked on prickotine patches. I remember one particular incident where fisticuffs nearly resulted due to a request for a mixed drink.

And yes, McMenamin’s should be out, except for Kennedy School, which is actually pretty nice. Note that I’m seven blocks away from it, so I’m kind of biased.


I loved that season of BlackAdder (and Miranda Richardson is a delight as Queen Elizabeth I)


Ah, Bla’dder. A few suggestions, in no particular order:

beulahland on the eastside.
not much for food, but they have a great jukebox.

moon and sixpence. Great beer selection and damn good pub food. eastside, too.

be careful about the “family” pubs around town. kinda like chuck e cheese with alk.

meself, I avoid the mcmany mcmenamins, ’cause the food’s, um, crap.

and stay outta the pearl district unless you’re a republican.

oh, and welcome to PDX.


Lucky Lab, you bastards!


everyone there is apparently hooked on prickotine patches.

Portlanditis, I call it- the disease that makes you kind of a dick. It’s not as prevalent as it used to be, but there’s still a few diehards around.

And yes, other than the KS and WE I’m also kind of fed up with McMenamin’s in general. But maybe I was a little harsh about the DF- I just got a distinct who-the-fuck-are-these-people vibe the last time I was there.


“Makes one kind of a dick”, I should say.


But does any one want to hear my song?


Now if y’ll all be quiet, with a bit of luck


Wait, Wait, you mean that thing I just saw on CNN wasn’t the drinking sadly event, man I was getting pumped abou that turnout 🙂


Horse Brass does have an excellent beer selection, but alas there’s a heavy nicotine factor involved.

Doug Fir is close-in on the East side, close to Union Jack’s (ahem), and has a full bar and OK-to-decent food. Slow Bar, on Grand, is just across the river from downtown, has a killer jukebox and great burgers. It’s smaller, but on a Monday you’d own the place.

Other places to consider: Virginia Cafe downtown, Sapphire Hotel on SE Hawthorne, the Night Light on SE Division, Low Brow Lounge in Pearl/Chinatown, Muu Muus in NW Portland.


Oh, please, McMenamin’s haters – the Fulton Pub in John’s Landing is still awesome and intimate.


With any luck you will run into the clowns that do church on sunday.


In Portland, decent beer selection is a given…

New Old Lompoc

White Eagle

Horse Brass


Basement Pub

The Red and Black (Anarchist cafe)



No fair! We didn’t have fake breasts at DL Drinking Sadlyly!


Now Doodle Bean, you can’t complain about the lack of fake breasts if you didn’t wear any yourself. Maybe we can have another Boston meet-up the week before and you can find a pair for then. Would that make you feel better?

For the rest of you, can I get a head count of who’s in, and who is just trying to help out with suggestions? Would help with the planning and all…

Smiling Mortician

On a Monday night? Damn.Can’t do it.


I think you should identify the members in that totally for real Sadly photo. My guess is Mikey is the one passed out at the Queens feet. The Queen is… Jillian? And brad is clearly on the right with the lovely pair.


I’d cast a vote for the patio at Amnesia brewing on N. Mississippi if the weather’s nice. And count me in as a local Sadlyly drinker.


the Fulton Pub in John’s Landing is still awesome and intimate.

OK, God damn it, Fulton too. But I’m just about fed up with every OTHER McMenamin’s. Except for the St. John’s Theater. And the Bagdad now and then. I’ve never heard a bad word about the Edgefield. And the newer one on Killingsworth in the former mortuary looks pretty cool.


Horse Brass? Now that sounds incredibly rude!


Smiling Mort – Monday was the best option for our declared Seattle contingent, and it unfortunately has to be a weeknight, because the only weekend someone will be in town he’ll be busy getting weddinged. Are you sure you can’t do it, on this terribly special occasion?


Oh, and for the rest of you… I keep forgetting that my home state still (until next year, anyway) lets people smoke in bars. If you could help by suggesting bars that are low-smoke or smoke-free (or clarifying the smoking status of the ones already mentioned), that would be brilliant.


Sounds a bit like ‘bum’!


I’m in. I’ll be coming down from Seattle if anyone wants a ride.

Just tell me where to report.


My couch is available as described earlier, toby, if you still need it.

Jacoby Ellsbury

Ron Tom’s
Doug Fir (may be overrun with hipsters)
Kennedy School

No shortages of good places.


Over the years I’ve found that my out-of-towners respond best to Goose Hollow or Ringlers, particularly on weekdays. Yes the food is pub grup and they’re both west side, but they’re chill and comfortable and conversation comes easily.
Not suggestions I’m proud of, but there you go.


It’s a local ordinance that you have to have at least seven or eight local brews on tap to have a liquor license. It seems like there is. Good brew selection is pretty much a given here in Beervana. There are myriad good and great pubs, a few of which I discuss below, so perhaps it would be better to get a list of desires and then make a selection (if you want to use the phrase ‘requirements gathering phase’ go ahead; I won’t).

Sounds like smoke free is preferred, yes? Locations – central (i.e., downtownish) or is something further out ok? Proximity to TriMet/Max/Streetcar? Pub grub or something more substantial/extensive? Atmosphere: nice place or dive?

McMenamins are all over the place – both geographically and in terms of quality. But I have yet to have a bad Terminator Stout milkshake anywhere.

Shanghai Tunnel is great – for a dirty, dive. Have no idea about the food there, if any. But it’s close to lots of other places with decent grub (Kell’s comes to mind). Also, it’s mere steps away from Voodoo Doughnut.

Bud Clark’s Goose Hollow Inn is quintessentially pdx. It’s right at a MAX station which makes it convenient as hell.

Most places have gone smokeless. There’s a few places where smoking is allowed (Hungry Tiger Too – small, quiet, food is just OK) but odds are the venue will be non-smoke.

Horse Brass would be high on my list. Also the New Old Lompoc, partially because I can stumble home from there.

Y’know, Amtrak from Seattle is only about $25. Beats the hell out of the BORING drive down I-5. And it’s in fareless square so you can get anywhere in the downtown easily and cheaply (as in free).

The Doug Fir is the WordPress of Portland clubs.

PS – I was riding my motorcycle all weekend; hence the lateness of this commentary.


The best place in Portland is Seattle.


I am partial to Voodoo Donut nearness. I also am partial to the lack of (cigarette) smoke.

I guess you could call me partisan.


I’ll hoist a beer and say a toast to Sadly!Naughts from here out of fellowship.

Or thirst. I’m not picky.


Ringlers is a good choice – Lots of space and the best McMenamins cooks I’ve found. Also close to Powells books.


Stay away from the Horse Brass unless you like the idea of smelling like an ashtray at the end of the night.

Can’t go wrong with any of the McMenamins’ places already mentioned… smoke free and family friendly.


I’ve been to the Crystal Ballroom but never stopped at Ringlers in spite of walking past once a week or so. That might be a fine choice, if it really is one of the “better” McMenamins.

to t4toby: It’s maybe four-five minutes to Voodoo Doughnut from there. Portland is a small city.

PS – We absolutely do not envy Seattle in any way shape or form. In fact, we generally make fun of Seattle. Fuck Seattle, the place sucks.


You like to scuffle, huh, PeeJ.

I am amicable to my Northwest neighbors. Portland is a delightful town with a much mellower vibe than Seattle. I am happy with my reasons for living in Seattle, but would not belittle someone else’s decision to live anywhere else.

But we do have the Sound, and the Olympics, and the Cascades, and the islands, peninsulas, beaches, ferries, etc, etc, etc…</snark>


*I* didn’t start it.

The best place in Portland is Seattle.


I should blockquoted that to make it clear but whatever.

Also, the motorcycling is far far better here so that pretty much squashes any so-called attactions that Seattle may have to offer. pftftt


Aww, you know I’m funnin’ ya, PeeJ. I lived in Portland for awhile, and do really like it.

I just like it a little greener, so I prefer Seattle.


Attn: Seattle and Portland.

You both suck.


Ha ha ha. Vancouver is a bedroom community for people without the sense to live in Portland.

Yes, I’m sure you mean that other Vancouver, conveniently located in some fascist foreign land. Stay the fuck oot of our argument!


So what time does this shindig get started? When do the strippers show up?


I still haven’t checked with the boss; I’ve been out of town and thus have not followed the development of the PDX event planning. Now that I have a date I’ll bring up the subject with Mrs. OneMan.

I won’t offer carpools or other mod cons until I know whether. Or not.

I’d currently rate my odds at about 40% in favor of showing up.


I just lurk, but solely to appease me you should come down to Corvallis and go to Squirrel’s. That way I can come.

Or not.

And Peej — did you by chance go to the Oregon Vintage Motorcyclist’s ride/show in Corvallis this weekend? I was there on my red Triumph Thruxton.


OneMan – Mrs. OneMan is welcome, of course. It would be great if I wasn’t the only woman in the group.

Sean – what’s keeping you from leaving Corvallis? It isn’t that far up to Portland, you know…


No one’s going to Cow-vallis. Just drive to Portland.


Yeah, I know nobody’s going to come to Corvallis. If it wasn’t on a Monday night I’d be there, but unfortunately I’ve got to work on Tuesday.


I have to work on Tuesday. Oh boo hoo.

It’s all of what, 90 minutes drive? Stop making excuses. You’ll just have to drink, sadly, little-ly. Or tell your jerk-off boss you just can’t work Tuesday. I’m sure a night of drinking sadlyly would be worth it. Criminy, whether you get fired doesn’t matter nearly as much as having a good turnout.


As to the show, no I didn’t make it. My posse was more interested in tearing up the twisties in our neck of the woods. So was I, to tell the truth even though I’m a big fan of 60’s and 70’s iron. I fondly recall scaring the beejeezus out myself with my first big bike, a 750 Norton. I would love to check out the Thruxton if only to bring back memories.


Mrs. OneMan is, sadly, not interested in political blogs, political snark or endless re-hashings of the awfulness of the last 25 years (with notable small breaks acknowledged). While she is strongly in our camp, she cannot understand my passion for the subject.

We also have teenagers and a dog and cannot afford to leave any of them alone at home, especially if that alone-ness includes 8 hours of travel time.

So should the Man family be represented at the PDX Sadlyly, I’ll have to be the lone represent-er.


So it’s an easy question. At least for locals.

Where would a person in PDX from outta town want to stay?

What area, neighborhood, funky hotels specifically, with WiFi an maybe on the river?

Help me out here.



Hmm. Post didn’t show up.

That’s kinda stupid.

I’ll ask again. Where would an intrepid traveler stay in PDX? Cool, funky, about a buck a night, with wifi. Intrepid traveler is NOT into pampered luxury…



Never mind…


Long time Portland lurker here. Looking forward to the festivities, wherever they may wind up.


My two cents is inner east side or downtown, out of laziness, mostly, but also as others have said, free transit keeps the DUI’s away. I’ll go with anything, just to see y’all, as a lurker who nonetheless spews beer regularly reading the stuff here.Ace Hotel is kinda cheap and near Ringler’s/Powells. Will there be updates when a spot is chosen?


I have to work that night, but I think I can show up just long enough to get my name on the <a href=”
watch list.


The Ace is funky. Heart of downtown, reasonable rates. Stumptown coffee next door.

There’s almost nothing right on the river, and what there is, is $$$$$.

On our “second interview trip” we had booked at the Jupiter Motel for it’s funkiness factor. Were then told it was a mistake if we expected to get any sleep. The Doug Fir folks party all night.

When my sister visits I put her up at the Mark Spencer. Very nice old style hotel. Rates can be moderate to higher end, depending on day/availability etc. You can use their “make us an offer” promotion. Also downtown. I’m going to push for doing our thing at Ringler’s which is two blocks away from the Mark Spencer. Also, it’s on the streetcar line.


For cheap digs, there’s a hostel at NW 18th & Glisan. A few minutes’ walk from downtown, across the street from a nice coffee shop, just down the hill from NW 21st/23rd neighborhood. I live nearby; the clientele always seem pretty interesting and from all over.

There’s another hostel on 30th and SE Hawthorne, which is unfortunately much farther from downtown but still accessible. Nice neighborhood there, too.


jonno – you been to Ringlers? I’m thinking it might be the best call but I diunno where it ranks on the McMenamins quality scale.

Also, we can both walk to it in a few minutes.


Ringlers is good, big, and full of booze. The only problem is that it’s a McMennamins, which sucks for us PDX types, but is pretty cool for out-of-towners.


Unless otherwise advised, I’ll be setting Ringlers in my GPS…



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