Oh pleasepleaseplease let this be true

O baby, you know what I like 2 hear:

Mike Huckabee, the former governor of Arkansas and defeated contender for the GOP presidential nomination, is currently at the top of John McCain’s short list for a running mate. At least that’s the word from a top McCain fundraiser and longtime Republican moneyman who has spoken to McCain’s inner circle.

Malkin sez:

All they need is sanctuary-friendly Rudy Giuliani as DHS Secretary, and the open-borders dream nightmare team will be complete.

Can someone please fast-forward to 2012? Please.

Nope, sorry dude. I’m having way too much fun enjoying the present. And besides, by 2012 the brown people will all have invaded and President Hussein Obama X will have confiscated your Blu-Ray player so it can be added to his $777 trillion Reparations Fund.

EAT IT, WHITE PEOPLE!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!

 

Comments: 132

 
 
 

Is there a LOL cat for “O noes! Mi partay haz btraied me!

 
 

Schadenfreude…. makin’ the world a better place… makin’ the world a better place…

 
 

I bet she totally regrets blowing O’Reilly.

 
 

The Malkintents™ wailed and gnashed their teeth.

And it was good.

 
 

Wait… Malkin believes that Huckabee would be part of an open-borders dream nightmare team?!

Didn’t Huckabee say that, if elected, he would deport 12 million illegal aliens in twelve days, or something extreme like that? I could’ve sworn I read that over at Dave Neiwert’s/Sara Robinson’s blog sometime. I don’t know if Huckabee talked as extreme as Hunter, or someone, but he sure sounded pretty out there to me.

Isn’t that kind of like me despairing for the future of US leftist politics because Obama wanted Cynthia McKinney to be his running-mate, instead of Bob Avakian? If Huckabee is too Latino-friendly, then what the heck could possibly make Malkin feel satisfied?

 
 

Mike Huckabee? Really? We’ve seen this game before, and its name is… every other single stupid, un-winnable candidate you’ve ever picked — which is most of them.

So I repeat the question: What is wrong with you people?

 
 

Damn Brad, you’re keeping SadlyNo.com alive & kicking! Keep up the good work!

 
 

Ok… I actually went to Malkin’s site and saw this article linked off to the right:

Open borders and the mortgage mess
By Michelle Malkin • May 12, 2008 01:28 PM

It’s the elephant in the room: How much has illegal immigration contributed to the current mortgage mess?

No one in Washington wants to talk about it–even as lawmakers pushed to include a now-dead $25 million earmark for the open-borders activists of La Raza/The Race and are preparing to hand over $100 million to the group and other left-wing organizations as part of the mortgage counseling racket.

Illegal immigrants, backed by the lunatic left, caused the sub-prime loan mess, and subsequently, the entire collapse of our economy. Who knew?!

 
 

well, given what the homeless have been up to while we sleep…
– MC

 
 

If Huckabee is too Latino-friendly, then what the heck could possibly make Malkin feel satisfied?

Lining ’em all up against the border wall and hearing someone yell “Fire!”

In fact, I think she just came as I typed that.

 
 

Ehhhh…. not sure how happy I’d be with Mike Huckabee just one septuagenarian heart murmur and a couple of dodgy ballot boxes away from The Button. Maybe it’s just because I saw The Dead Zone recently and am therefore wary of politicians saying “Hallelujah” too often.

 
 

Look, I know we’re real sure we’re going to win this time but… I’m starting to feel like a battered housewife. If America decides to beat the shit out of me again come voting day, I don’t think I want McCain’s ticker to be the only thing between the us and President Huckabee.

Besides that, he really would bring out the fundies in droves.

 
Your Uncle Bastard
 

WordPress made McCain its prizonur-o’-warr bitch.

 
 

Illegal immigrants, backed by the lunatic left, caused the sub-prime loan mess, and subsequently, the entire collapse of our economy. Who knew?!

I thought it was that black people used affirmative action to manipulate lenders, then blew all the money on crack and malt liquor. Have I been reading the wrong newspaper?

 
 

And yet they all love Mittens, who has illegals tending to his yard.

These people confuse me.

 
 

pedestrian said,

May 13, 2008 at 15:01

Look, I know we’re real sure we’re going to win this time but… I’m starting to feel like a battered housewife. If America decides to beat the shit out of me again come voting day, I don’t think I want McCain’s ticker to be the only thing between the us and President Huckabee.

Besides that, he really would bring out the fundies in droves.

Good point… and that kinda scares the shit out of me. If there’s nothing the GOP has done better at, it’s getting the megachurches to push their entire flock to pull the GOP lever on voting day, IRS be damned. The “protect marriage acts” in several states back in 2004 did exactly that… and that was its only purpose, as the whole thing went over like… well, a fart in church since then. I don’t think anyone was actually going to bother enforcing the gay marriage ban in those states unless some obscure case came up.

 
 

Wowzers.

We Democrats have been so furiously scratching each other’s eyes out recently in all this petty and ridiculous internecine fighting that we’re blinded to the fact the Republicans are still drooling, irrational, and delusional idiots, and not only that, they’re STILL batshit crazy. When we do take time away from our latte-sipping, elitist hippie liberal civil war to look over at the Republicans, we realize we could run a scarecrow against St. BBQ and still win in November. Even we cannot fuck up the fact McCain doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning.

Knowing this makes it so much easier to sleep at night.

 
 

Didn’t Huckabee say that, if elected, he would deport 12 million illegal aliens in twelve days, or something extreme like that?

I think that had more to do with his belief that he can perform miraculous feats with his Jesus magic than it did with his dislike of brown people. “If I can pray and make 200 lbs of fat melt away, just imagine what I could do speaking in tongues?! SQUIBBITY-FLABBITY-DOO!!!! MEXICANS BEGONE!!!

It’s the elephant in the room: How much has illegal immigration contributed to the current mortgage mess?

You have to give her credit for consistency (in insane inanity…or is it inane insanity?). For Michelle, there is literally no problem in the entirety of the universe that was not caused directly or affected adversely by Mexicans. Subprime mortgage meltdown? Mexicans. Assassination of Archduke Ferdinand? Mexicans. Dinosaur extinction? Asteroid-attracting time-traveling Mexicans.

 
 

Oh please, Mr. McCain, please PLEASE don’t throw me in the briar patch pick anyone but this!

Well, a fellow can dream.

 
 

For Michelle, there is literally no problem in the entirety of the universe that was not caused directly or affected adversely by Mexicans. Subprime mortgage meltdown? Mexicans. Assassination of Archduke Ferdinand? Mexicans. Dinosaur extinction? Asteroid-attracting time-traveling Mexicans.

Malkin really doesn’t like brown people.

 
 

Michelle seems to believe that the Reconquistadores are actually encamped behind her house, and that her backyard is the strategic beach-head they’ll use to kick off the invasion.

LOLzeritos.

 
Your Uncle Bastard
 

Subprime mortgage meltdown? Mexicans. Assassination of Archduke Ferdinand? Mexicans. Dinosaur extinction? Asteroid-attracting time-traveling Mexicans.

Hey, I like this game.

Global warming? Heat-retaining insulated Mexicans.
Sea ice melting? Spicy hot Mexicans.
A third Bush term? Brainwashed Stepford Mexicans.

This is fun!

 
 

I’ll join to chorus of “Maybe this wouldn’t be so great for the Democrats.” Huckabee is Republican media darling number 2, just behind St. McCain. The press coverage these two would get would embarrass you’re most experienced fluffer. And, aside from Malkin, the circlejerkosphere will happily fall in line and support their nominees. Thank you sir, may I have another is their motto (as long as it’s spoken by a white guy in a suit and not camo.)

 
Your Uncle Bastard
 

Let’s extend the fun:

Malkin readers: emotionally-retarded zombies
Bush voters: intellectually-retarded zombies
Neocons: sense-of-humanity-retarded zombies

Methinks we need another diagram!

 
 

Huckabee’s a hick. There’s no way the Kool Kids will accept him. McCain will choose some well-connected, dried-up old duffer, like Reagan chose Bush the Elder.

 
 

yo man i am gansta but this political suggesttioon is ****. even us gangsta’s could think of better **** than that!!!

 
 

You know I’m not in the mood to hear that evil fucking Malkin talk about immigrants today:

plant raid article NYT

What the New York Times left out in this article is this:

Immigration raid: Plant official is GOP contributor

Such a bunch of hypocrites, those Rethugs. I feel sick.

Here’s the link to the whole ugly business. I’m going to have to walk away from the news for a while today. I’m going to clean house, read non-political books, and maybe take a nap this afternoon. I’m afraid I’ll have a stroke if I don’t.

 
 

Isn’t that kind of like me despairing for the future of US leftist politics because Obama wanted Cynthia McKinney to be his running-mate – atheist

I guess as a married man I shouldn’t be saying such things — but I’m married, not dead! can we please, please have Obama/McKinney? Between the first lady and the VP that’d be one smokin’ executive branch.

 
 

Between the first lady and the VP that’d be one smokin’ executive branch.

Yeah, McKinney is pretty hawt, too.

 
 

No, no, see, because McCain is the 500 year old skeleton of a Witchfinder General, so his veep is almost certain to become President if the ticket gets in (which is far from impossible). So Huckabee as veep = NOES.

 
 

So Huckabee as veep = NOES.

NOES to whom? You’re saying that the Republican party leadership will not stand for it?

 
 

Um, no, I just want don’t want him within fifty-seven miles of becoming President. Call me pessimistic, but I’m not ruling out everyone talking about President McCain next year.

 
 

Hmmm, this is interesting. As the more reality-based of you have noted, this could bring out the Christian right in massive numbers, as #2 to McCain is clearly exceedingly close to the top – in 2012 if not before.

I like it. I still think Obama’s negatives – openly racist church, openly racist wife, etc – would sink him against just about anyone, but this ticket could clinch it.

Just think, folks – another four or eight years of furious, teary-eyed temper tantrums online! Yes, Christmas is coming a few weeks early this year.

 
 

Oh, I see. Yeah, neither am I. I certainly don’t think the Democrats are a shoo-in this year.

 
 

Wank, wank, wank, hate, liberals, racists, wank, wank, wank, unh, wank, wank, hate, spew, wank.

 
 

Popcorn popper fried squirrel at all state dinners!

On a serious note, I want everyone to stop all the Rove-Era defeatism and victimization talk. 2006 was supposed to make us feel better, dammit! But every thread I go on, there’s always a couple commenters who are positive that any action by any GOP politician spells certain doom for Democrats everywhere.

If McCain selecting Mike Huckabee as his running mate is a scary prospect to you, then I have to ask if there is any Republican he could select that WOULDN’T scare you. Who is less electable than Huckabee? Are you holding out hope that McCain is going to have Duke Cunningham sprung from the slammer? What could be better than this, exactly?

 
 

“Who is less electable than Huckabee?”

Alan Keyes. Pat Buchanan. Anybody named Bush.

 
 

“Who is less electable than Huckabee?”

Alan Keyes. Pat Buchanan. Anybody named Bush.

Except I can already hear the victimization/defeat narratives in my head. “Keyes steals our thunder on diversity! Buchanan will bring out the xenophobes in droves! BushRove will rig the Diebolds to elect teh Jeb!”

 
 

The Truth needs to learn how to read. Huckleberry Hound will never, ever, world-without-end be the VP and you know why. It’s not even a possibility. No way will Washington, DC bow and scrape to that family. Not for any amount of votes. The christian right will do as they are told, after they get a promise or two and a pat on the head.

Somewhere, truth, is you in an apartment, paying $2.59 for a loaf of bread and $3.79 for a gallon of milk for your Cheerioes, turning off the car engine in the fast food line to save a little gas. And you’re scared.

Blather on, dude. You’re fucked and you know it. We all are, but at least we know that we can hold our heads up, instead of praying that nobody remembers who voted for these losers.

 
 

Snap, Susan of Texas just brought the pain. Obama/Susan ’08!!!

 
 

But every thread I go on, there’s always a couple commenters who are positive that any action by any GOP politician spells certain doom for Democrats everywhere.

Oh, I don’t think we’re doomed. Obama is polling well, even after all that dumb-ass crap in our lame-ass media about Wright. I’m just saying, we should not consider this a shoo-in. It appears to me that it will be a fight.

 
 

I’m just saying, we should not consider this a shoo-in. It appears to me that it will be a fight.

That’s totally reasonable. It’s certainly not going to be a Clinton-Dole-type contest where Dems can lean back in their seats the whole time. But I don’t see how a nod for Huckabee could be anything but good news for the Dem ticket.

I base this partially on my belief that running mates can’t ever really do your campaign any good but CAN do it harm (see Eagleton, Tom). An unscrubbed hick like Huckabee offers maximum harm potential. Meanwhile, someone like Mittens (who is an admittedly crappy and unrelatable politician) doesn’t seem to bring much risk with him.

 
 

More registered voters – that’s key.

Da Troof is just Saul/Booger/HAAM wearing a new outfit.

 
 

No way will Washington, DC bow and scrape to that family.

Oh yeah. Get the dog-killing son out there on the campaign trail.

 
 

I don’t think we’re doomed, I just want to be prepared for the worst case scenario. If Bush can win in 2004 despite the previous four years, anything is possible.

 
 

Now you folks are trying to comfort yourselves by imagining my circumstances? Oh dear, this is low. Where is the snark? Where is the funny? Is Sadly!No this worried about the Presidental election?

Yes, you are. This site, founded as an outlet for impotent liberal rage, has as its unwritten motto the idea that if enough good, liberal people get together, they can override the will of the people – who have elected Republican Presidents, so they must be stupid!. – and get a nice liberal in.

It sounds like a good plan. Liberals are so much smarter than everyone else – look at their degrees! They talk only amongst themselves, and in their echo chamber they are even more sure they know what’s best. Their native intelligence gives them worrisome clues sometimes – if they are so right, why did Bush win twice? – but they knock that back by reassuring each other that they know best.

It should have worked. A collection of self-reinforcing know-it-alls, laughing at each other’s pathetic, juvenile jokes, culminating in a triumph in November. They even found a Nelson to join them, a dimwitted brute that trots out, swinging, to give them some tough guy cred.

Only… it isn’t working. I’ve read your comments. You are worried, liberals,

And you should be.

O Snap indeed.

— Now I’ll save some of this for my triumphant post on November 6, with just a few phrases altered to reflect the fact of President-elect McCain rather than President-presumptive McCain. Just wanted to give you kiddies a preview.

 
 

there’s always a couple commenters who are positive that any action by any GOP politician spells certain doom for Democrats everywhere.

Remember all the paranoia back in ’06 about how Rove was really an ultrasupermegagenius who had it all in the bag, not to mention that there was no hope because of Diebold? And we were soon gonna be in concentration camps?

It was a strange thing to adjust to, that in fact the Democrats won much bigger than we ever hoped they would, and yet, all of the causes and things we had wanted them to work on so much- they jettisoned those as quick as they possibly could. It was encouraging yet disheartening. Ultimately it was sobering.

 
 

Blather on, dude. You’re fucked and you know it. We all are, but at least we know that we can hold our heads up, instead of praying that nobody remembers who voted for these losers.

Susan brings it back to reality

 
 

Now I’ll save some of this for my triumphant post on November 6,

You do that dude! It’ll be hilarious. Note to Brad – let’s mark the occasion!

 
 

US News & World Report:

Mike Huckabee, the former governor of Arkansas and defeated contender for the GOP presidential nomination, is currently at the top of John McCain’s short list for a running mate.

I wouldn’t be too quick to ridicule this suggestion.

McCain needs the fundies to come out and vote for him this fall. So far, indications are that a lot of them might stay home. Huckabee could probably bring them out for him, big time. That would help McCain put some of those swing states, like Iowa, in his column instead of Obama’s.

Sure, I think Huckabee would be a dreadful VP. But McCain’s not getting my vote unless Tom Tancredo gets the Democratic nomination. Huckabee helps McCain with an obvious constituency, which is more than can be said for Romney, or, well, just about anyone else McCain could consider. And Huckabee’s personable enough, even if he’s crazy as a loon, that he might not drive away that many independent voters.

 
 

I don’t know what truth said because I couldn’t be bothered to read it. Romney can’t get it, after that LDS thing here in glorious Texas. The Old Guard Reaganites are too old. They don’t have a young Quayle. Bush taints the Senate members. Who’s left?

 
 

I can’t see the GOP establishment green-lighting a Huckleberry VP slot. Does anyone think that they actually want one of the rubes they’ve been pandering to for 20 years in a position of actual control? With Huckleberry in any position of national power, they’d have to actually ACT on the “family values” crap they claim to own. Please, they want the Xtian right for votes and votes only, so they can continue wanking dudes in men’s rooms, diddling underage aides, and kinking it up with D.C. whores.

 
 

wank, Wank, WANK, envy, delusion, wank, hate, wank, liberals, wank.

Preview of Nov. 6– snivel, whine, weep, wank, snivel.

 
 

Wow, Truth, so you are saying that this site exists to vent liberal rage at our own impotence;
plus, at some point we overthrew democracy, replacing it with a DFH collective of philosopher kings;
however, our rule has been a total fucking disaster, so now the voters are going to throw us out on our asses.

I would just love to cut open your brain and see what’s in there.

 
 

Susan of Texas said,

May 13, 2008 at 17:02

I don’t know what truth said because I couldn’t be bothered to read it. Romney can’t get it, after that LDS thing here in glorious Texas. The Old Guard Reaganites are too old. They don’t have a young Quayle. Bush taints the Senate members. Who’s left?

Rick “Man on dog action” Santorum?

 
 

what always makes me laugh about trolls like Da Troof is that they don’t just get it wrong, they get it so very wrong. Calling Sadly No an founded as an outlet for impotent liberal rage or calling snark “tears” or characterizing making fun of Jonah’s stupidity as being “howls” of outrage – they couldn’t be more off the mark. Do they feel sad at weddings and rejoice at funerals? Their inability to distinguish one human emotion from another is so completely profound that you wonder whether the rest of their senses are out of whack, too. Do they think it’s cold when it’s 90 degrees outside? Smell shit and think it’s roses?

One wonders are they this clueless in their own personal lives? One can only imagine what hell it would be like to actually live with someone like Da Troof.

 
 

Jake H.

… I don’t see how a nod for Huckabee could be anything but good news for the Dem ticket.

I base this partially on my belief that running mates can’t ever really do your campaign any good but CAN do it harm (see Eagleton, Tom). An unscrubbed hick like Huckabee offers maximum harm potential.

Maybe by the time election season arrives, Obama will have a cakewalk to the presidency. But in the meantime, McCain’s polling numbers and Electoral College chances are still quite competitive – which I find perlexing, flabbergasting, and gobsmacking, given the economy, Iraq, and the whole last 8 years, but there it is.

You’re right that Huckabee offers some harm potential to the ticket, but, as noted by others in this thread, Huck will also bring out the fundies in droves. That could give McCain a win in several swingstates in the Mid-west, Appalachia, and the Rust belt. It doesn’t help him much in the deep south, they’re going Republican anyway, but it doesn’t hurt him there either.

The only places where a Huck nomination could really hurt McCain are in the NE and the West Coast, which aren’t likely to vote for him anyway.

.

 
 

The Truth:

wank, Wank, WANK, envy, delusion, wank, hate, wank

Please spare us the list of your hobbies, Truther.

It’s really just too much information.

.

 
 

Reading Sadly, No! makes my right hand tired.

 
 

Legalize:

I can’t see the GOP establishment green-lighting a Huckleberry VP slot. Does anyone think that they actually want one of the rubes they’ve been pandering to for 20 years in a position of actual control?

You mean like George Bush?

Didn’t seem to bother them that much…

.

 
 

I love his mantra. “Openly racist church, openly racist wife”, “openly racist church, openly racist wife”.

OPENLY! RACIST! CHURCH!
OPENLY! RACIST! WIFE!

Write it in the heavens with gossamer teardrops! OPENLY RACIST CHURCH!! OPENLY RACIST WIFE!!!

 
 

My mommy says posting on Sadly, No! too much is making my wee-wee sore.

 
 

Legalize:

Please, they want the Xtian right for votes and votes only, so they can continue wanking dudes in men’s rooms, diddling underage aides, and kinking it up with D.C. whores.

Ted Haggard, dead reverend in two wetsuits with a dildo up his butt, fundie dean abusing female foster children in his care….

Somehow, I’m thinking thinking the fundie right really isn’t going to have a problem with that agenda.

.

 
 

JGabriel –

The neocons love Bush because he’s their kind of Xtian – the kind who fucks over the poor and gives to the obscenely wealthy. Huck, for all of his other faults, does at least follow some of the basic precepts of the New Testament. I seem to remember that when he won one of the Rethug primaries way back, that all of the rightwing columnists basically turned on him en masse.

 
 

You mean like George Bush?

George W. Bush is one of the rubes they’ve been pandering to? He’s jes folks?

 
 

First–and, really, only–rule about trolls:

They never, ever argue the merits. They only heckle from their table. That’s why they’re trolls. That’s why they’re here. They’re parasites. Arguing with one is like trying to reason with your athlete’s foot.

Block that metaphor!

 
 

Englishwoman:

I seem to remember that when [Huck] won one of the Rethug primaries way back, that all of the rightwing columnists basically turned on him en masse.

True, but most of the fundies don’t read the rightwing neocon pundits – they get their marching orders from their local pastors.

That said, I don’t really think McCain is going to nominate Huck for his VP. I’m just warning that Huck might not be as bad a choice, from the Pubes point of view, as people are suggesting.

Sort of a “Beware of what you wish for…” message.

.

 
 

Lawnguylander:

George W. Bush is one of the rubes they’ve been pandering to? He’s jes folks?

Not ‘jes folks’, but from these city eyes, he sure looks like a rube. Just a very rich one.

.

 
 

Just think, folks – another four or eight years of furious, teary-eyed temper tantrums online!

Yeah, just look how whiny and bitchy the wingtards have been EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE IN CHARGE…

 
 

The Truth-

You’ve been informed about McCain’s poll numbers, Obama’s $$$, and the public’s general disinterest in Obamaspastorgate. You’ve also never responded.

Belly up. Prove exactly how McCain is to overcome this. Elsewise you’re just blowing smoke.

 
 

I would just love to cut open your brain and see what’s in there.

I can guess. (Warning: NWS for non-sexual reasons; not-stomach-safe for same.)

 
 

The only way Barack Obama can possibly counter this is to finally make Bill Ayers his choice.

 
 

I guarantee you the only thing coming from “The Truth”‘s corner come Nov. 6th is gonna be crickets chirping and tumbleweeds blowing by.

 
 

The only way Barack Obama can possibly counter this is to finally make Bill Ayers his choice.

Is it appropriate to make your lover the terrorist VP? I say yes.

 
 

JGabriel, I don’t t think W is actually one of the rubes the GOP has been pandering to. In fact, he is their favorite type of Xtian: one who wraps himself in the flag and spouts alleged piousness as a means of getting the knuckle-draggers frothy, and then rapes the public trust by handing over our money to their friends – all while calling it “patriotism”.

I think Huckleberry actually believes the crap the GOP has been using to buy Xtian votes all this time, and might actually make actual “Xtian values,” like loving one’s neighbor and helping the poor, priorities.

On the other hand I can see the GOP using Huckleberry as a rube magnet, and then keeping him in the basement for 4 years.
.

 
MileHi Hawkeye
 

Yes! A squirrel in every pot!!! Much better than ramen noodles…

 
 

The vice presidency ain’t what it used to be. Cheney’s built up quite a little apparatus there, and I doubt they want it to go to waste.

 
 

Well now, lots of brave talk from liberals. Yes, kiddies, I know you want your confiscatory taxes, your protectionism, your identity politics, and your appeasement of terrorists. I think the American voters will reject that and the unlovely reality of Barack Obama on November 5. The numbers are what they are today – very close – and I’ve no worries that in November, the American electorate will make the right choice.

Keep in mind, my academic droogs, that states can actually check voter IDs now if they wish, Does that make your stomach drop, the fact that the open fraud Democrats commit in place like (for example) Wisconsin will be more difficult now? No? Nice people like Democrats don’t commit voter fraud? I see.

I read the fretting in this thread alone and I know you people are worried. I’ll be here on November 6, don’t worry, unless of course I get banned – certainly a possibility when ten or fewer states come in for your boy.

 
Garrigus Carraig
 

Rush instigated OP CHAOS because the Dems did meddle in our primaries and they voted for Mr. McCain.

zomg There is so much LULZ in the comments over at Malkin’s.

 
 

Legalize:

On the other hand I can see the GOP using Huckleberry as a rube magnet, and then keeping him in the basement for 4 years.

Exactly. You have sused my point completely.

.

 
 

MileHi Hawkeye:

Yes! A squirrel in every pot!!! Much better than ramen noodles…

Oh man, that would make a lovely campaign slogan:

McCain/Huckabee 2008: A Squirrel In Every Pot

You are a genius, Hawkeye.

.

 
 

Delusion! Wank wank wankwankwank grunt.

I am spent. I will now retire to let you ponder my brilliance. But I will be back, oh yes I will, maybe in 15 minutes, to tell you all about how Our President John McCain will personally hunt down Osama Bin Laden and tear out his throat with his dentures on Nov.7, at 8:53 a.m., because I can see the future, you know.

 
 

Also, I need to mow my lawn, my hippie friends.

 
 

Well now, lots of brave talk from liberals. Yes, kiddies, I know you want your confiscatory taxes, your protectionism, your identity politics, and your appeasement of terrorists.

1) I’d rather pay taxes than sell this country out to China. One way or another, the Iraq war has to be paid for. I’d prefer to do it myself.
2) Alexander Hamilton was a protectionist. Ooh, boogity boogity.
3) The right is awash with identity politics. You don’t think Southern Baptists have identity issues? C’mon.
4) Yawn.

I think the American voters will reject that and the unlovely reality of Barack Obama on November 5.

And your proof is:

.
.
.
.
.
Anyhoo.

The numbers are what they are today – very close – and I’ve no worries that in November, the American electorate will make the right choice.

McCain loses to both Obama and Hillary, despite having no scrutiny at the moment. He’s at his apex of popularity…and still loses.

And he’ll have to get back to debating now, too. Johnny Mac got his ass roundly kicked on TDS (a historical ally) last week. It does not bode well for him.

Also: War, economy, gas prices, housing market.

Keep in mind, my academic droogs, that states can actually check voter IDs now if they wish, Does that make your stomach drop, the fact that the open fraud Democrats commit in place like (for example) Wisconsin will be more difficult now?

I like to grind up my red herring, put a little Duke’s mayo and sweet relish in it, and then season it with garlic powder, Mrs. Dash, and pepper. It’s good on wheat toast with some melted sharp cheddar.

I read the fretting in this thread alone and I know you people are worried.

Fretting (which we really aren’t doing much of, dummy) makes us honest. “McCain will win! McCain will win! McCain will win!” without any supporting facts makes you a Glenn Reynolds-breed dope.

certainly a possibility when ten or fewer states come in for your boy.

Racist ass.

 
 

The Truth:

Does that make your stomach drop, the fact that the open fraud Democrats commit in place like (for example) Wisconsin will be more difficult now?

Shit, the Pubes have guessed our notorious plan.

We’ll have to ship back all those illegal Canadians before anyone notices.

.

 
 

I’d say that having Huckabee is a gamble – and I’m not sure they’re ready to gamble.

He brings in the fundies, he provides a friendly face, and he’s very, very disarming.

The negative side is he’s very much his own man, he has positions that parts of the base won’t like, and he’s got very little to run on that doesn’t sound crazy when you get down to it. Plus you put a preacher on the ticket, you’re removing the chance to play the Wright card again.

So for all his advantages, the limits of using Huckabee make him a real gamble.

 
 

Teh Troof Troll is just like all the other boring nim-rods who litter the internets: he comes in, screams about how McCain is super awesome and he will win!!! but refuses to actually describe how such will happen in light of historical trends, the past 8 years of GOP failures and crimes, and the mood of the public, declares “victory” – and then when he/she/it is pressed, he/she/it runs aways like a coward.

He/she/it will be back when he/she/it gets his/her/it’s marching orders from his/her/it’s welfare master. Or after he/she/it takes out the garbage and cleans the basement for his/her/it’s mommy.

Right, Troofie princess?

 
 

I dunno. I reckon for every christianist fundie ol’ Huck brings out, he drives away one marginally sane racist or bedwetter. Probably a wash.

But my goodness gracious, the campaign humor factor. The batshit craziness that will flow from the campaign with these two on the ticket, along with the foaming-at-the-mouth hatred that will be directed at first one, than the other by various wings of the rage, hate and racism party, will both increase the entertainment value by a couple orders of magnitude and make Obama look increasingly smart, balanced and capable.

Yay for both, says I…

mikey

 
 

Run away, Legalize? Oh no, I wouldn’t miss this for the world. The real fun starts Nov 6, of course, but reading your arrogant, anxious posts will pass the time until then.

I think I’ve (inadvertantly) confounded some of you folks. Legalize seems torn: am I taking orders from someone to write this stuff? do I live with my mother? I’ll cheerfully answer these questions (no to both of course), as straightforward honesty will confuse you too. Hey, the ad hominem stuff doesn’t bother me – it means I’m getting to you folks.

For the record, I’ve already explained why I am sure McCain will win. First, he brings forward a positive, non-identity politics based platform of low taxes, free trade, and strong national security. I believe this will resonate with voters as it has since 2000 (gee, who wanted to talk historical trends?) Second, Obama brings huge negatives: inexperience, arrogance, and some very nasty associates, as well as the polar opposite platform to that of McCain. Third, the vicious infighting in the Democratic party will demoralize their turnout. Fourth, voter ID requirements and historically low youth turnout will depress Obama’s numbers. I could go on but I’ve made my point.

You guys were positive Kerry would win, right? Or were you all still in high school then? Really, this election is such an easy choice: a far-left liberal vs a moderate conservative. You really don’t see why I’m confident? Oh but you do, kiddies.

 
 

The Truth:

For the record, I’ve already explained why I am sure McCain will win.

McCain was born a week before Buddy Holly.

Which means McCain is not only older than the day the music died, he’s older than the day it was born.

John McCain: Older than music.

.

 
 

Fourth, voter ID requirements … will depress Obama’s numbers.

Translation: As per usual, the Republicans will resort to anything to keep the mud races out of the voting booth.

 
 

“I think that had more to do with his belief that he can perform miraculous feats with his Jesus magic than it did with his dislike of brown people. “If I can pray and make 200 lbs of fat melt away, just imagine what I could do speaking in tongues?! SQUIBBITY-FLABBITY-DOO!!!! MEXICANS BEGONE!!!””

I see what you did there.

 
 

McCain will win! because first, wank, second, wank, third, wank, fourth, wank. The point is, WANK, kiddies.

 
 

You guys were positive Kerry would win, right?

Not so sure about that, but we were sure Gore would. And he did!

Y’know, this troll is so arrogant and smarmy it’s unbearable.

If you are so certain of the outcome in november, Mr. “Truth”, why are you wasting your time and ours stamping your little feet and throwing tantrum after tantrum on a far lefty site like Sadly, No! We both know you’re not going to change any minds, and hell, your position is you don’t need to, Old Saint John has all the votes he needs.

So explain why you keep spewing spittle on me, wouldya?

mikey

 
 

Nickel a post, “Tuth”?

 
 

mikey,

Because I like to WANK!

 
 

I agree with Brad — sadly, because I’ll win $2.00 if Mittens gets the veep slot. But I agree that potty-mouth McCain needs the fundies since they’re pretty much the only people delusional enough to vote for Repugs come November.

 
 

Eh, just ignore Da Troof. He’s a member of Al Qaeda!

 
 

Nah, owlbear1, just think it’s funny that someone would say I ran away when every time I look I see more posts hopeful for the good guys. And Nelson, I’m here to enjoy the confounding of your hopes for a liberal president.

Oh, and Djur, I’m intrigued that you think requiring someone to identify themselves before they vote is racist. I suppose that is another reason I’m here – to get a glimpse into your twisted heads.

 
 

Brandi, you tease!

I thought I’d see something worthy of the Mutter Museum!

 
 

Wank, hate, wank, hate, wank hate, wank, hate, wank. . .

 
 

Okay, I get it now. It’s a cradle conservative. Think Doughboy, without a mommy to get him jobs. Or a homeschooler on the internet when he’s supposed to be writing a report on Lynn Cheney’s America, My Own Personal Lesbian Lover.

 
 

“Keep in mind, my academic droogs, that states can actually check voter IDs now if they wish, Does that make your stomach drop, the fact that the open fraud Democrats commit in place like (for example) Wisconsin will be more difficult now? No?”

No, not a bit. In fact, I’m looking forward to it. McCain’s going to lose big.

Why?

I’ve already spoken with several of my more conservative friends and associates, and newly-declared candidate Bob Barr’s the favorite of nearly half of them. Their reasons for that? Well, actual conservative positions on Mr. Barr’s part; the sorts of things that used to give conservatives swooning fits. Let’s revisit some of his positions, shall we?

Favors the War on Drugs
Supported prohibition of medical marijuana while in Congress
Authored and sponsored DOMA
Proposed banning Wicca practice among US servicemembers
Member, NRA Board of Directors, 2001-2007
House Manager during Clinton impeachment proceedings
Supports “FairTax,” supports abolishing income tax
Strongly pro-life/anti-choice
Upset about Bush Administration’s handling of privacy and search/seizure issues.

http://www.bobbarr2008.com/about/

Barr has moderated or chosen not to reiterate some of his more nutball positions on issues since he joined the Libertarian Party. But the fact of the matter is that he’s *more* conservative than McCain, *opposed* to many of President Bush’s positions, and is already peeling off supporters from the GOP.

I won’t vote for Barr, but I’ll send him a check, and I challenge other S,N! posters to do likewise. I’d like to see just how badly Barr can fracture the GOP’s already-fragile rank-and-file.

I’d say that Republican concern over votes has only just begun.

 
 

For the record, I’ve already explained why I am sure McCain will win. First, he brings forward a positive, non-identity politics based platform of low taxes, free trade, and strong national security.

Positive = Wankery.
Non-identity = BS.
Low taxes = Delusional.
Free trade = Dude, every candidate in the field will.
Strong national security = Not seeing how Iraq fits into this.

I believe this will resonate with voters as it has since 2000 (gee, who wanted to talk historical trends?)

Yes, 2000, when we were in a lousy war with a lousy economy and an unpopular president.

Fail.

Second, Obama brings huge negatives: inexperience

Fair enough. I’m sure this kept you from voting for failed businessman/do-nothing governor George W. Bush in 2000.

arrogance

So you’ll vote for the guy who freaks the fuck out a lot and who called his wife a cunt in public. Well done.

and some very nasty associates

And McCain doesn’t?

And once again, you refuse to realize that ***no one cares about Wright anymore***.

as well as the polar opposite platform to that of McCain.

Yes, because the GOP brand is doing super-great right now!

Third, the vicious infighting in the Democratic party will demoralize their turnout.

Maybe. We’ll see. From where I sit, conservatives aren’t exactly ultra-energized this year. And if anything, the Democratic primary fight has had people turning up to register/vote in droves.

Fourth, voter ID requirements and historically low youth turnout will depress Obama’s numbers.

Yeah, young people aren’t voting!

You guys were positive Kerry would win, right?

No.

Really, this election is such an easy choice: a far-left liberal vs a moderate conservative.

Whose platform is the same thing espoused by the least popular president in modern U.S. history.

Ain’t just a river in Egypt.

 
 

Uh, no, Troofie, the 2000 election wasn’t about lower taxes, national security, or free trade. It was sold to the public as “compassionate conservatism,” and restoring “dignity” to the White House – that and Katherine Harris and the Supreme Court interfering with FL results.

2004 was about what your side does – vote suppression (e.g. drivers license requirements), lying, and good old right wing idenity / hate politics.

Or one could get one’s head out of one’s ass and recognize that 2006 was a total rejection of the GOP brand, and since then, the GOP has been House Seat after House Seat, as the old turds begin to see the writing on the wall – the rubes you’ve duped for 20 years are no long buying. Your side tried to use Obama against Dems in Illinois and Louisiana in GOP strong-holds. How’d that work out?

Look, we get it: corrpution, cronyism, elitism, and bad governance are staples of what people like you look for in politicians. We get it. We also encourage you to keep pushing the same angles. Blame a lack of health care on laziness; explain how gas prices and the price of food is no big deal if you just work harder; tell evicted homeowners to such it up; continue lying about foreign wars and their certain successes. They are totally winning issues for you.

 
 

Privoxy brings truth to Twooth:

FILTER: thetwooth
s|kiddies|my liberal friends|gi

{ +filter{thetwooth} }
.sadlyno.com

 
 

“McCain was born a week before Buddy Holly.

Which means McCain is not only older than the day the music died, he’s older than the day it was born.

John McCain: Older than music.”

Things younger than McCain: http://www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com/?m=200805

 
 

Patton Oswalt said,

I see what you did there.

Shit, I’ve been discovered! I’ll fix it:

Squibbity-flabbity-doo™, All Rights Reserved by Patton Oswalt, hobbit comedic genius.

 
 

thup thup thup thup FAP! thup

 
 

Has anyone else here ever heard that saying about how there won’t be peace in the Middle East until the Palestinians learn to love their children more than they hate the Isarealis? Never mind, at least for the moment, that it’s a one-sided assessment of the situation… I totally think that idea could be repurposed for this fall’s election. Something along the lines of “you’ll continue to get the short end of the stick from your government until you learn to value your future and the future of your kid and grandkids more than you fear black people.”

 
 

Heh.

What’s really sadder, people who hope, vote, and work for things to get better, or people like da Troof who believe shit like “they’re going to lower my taxes!” and get punked on the same lie time after time after time, all the while watching their standard of living wither away?

ain’t nothing but a whiny little GOP bitch, who’s about to get punked again. Not that it’s smart enough to recognize it when it happens. Of course, for lower life forms like da Troof, they don’t mind being reduced to living in a cardboard box under the freeway overpass, as long as the people they don’t like end up in smaller boxes.

 
 

On a purely personal level, I’m really going to enjoy rubbing these clown’s noses in President Obama and his merry men in congress. And the “permanent democratic majority” where we “make our own reality”…

mikey

 
 

Illegal immigrants, backed by the lunatic left, caused the sub-prime loan mess, and subsequently, the entire collapse of our economy. Who knew?!
If those Meskins hadn’t crossed the border to work in the construction industry, all those houses gettin’ foreclosed on wouldn’t a been built, now would they?

 
 

I find it almost impossible to work through an entire string of comments during a single lunchtime. It’s really hard to keep up.

I wonder what trolls did before there was an internet? I can’t think of many jobs or pasttimes that allow a person to be completely obnoxious and anonymous at the same time. I can imagine persons disposed in troll-like tendencies had quite a jolly time when they were children at Halloween, with their masks and sacks of dog doo-doo that that they would put on someone’s porch, light on fire ring the doorbell and then, very couragously, run away as fast as they could.

 
Isthmus be my lucky day!
 

Oh, I’m creamin’ big-time for a McCain-Huckabee ticket! I wanna ticket to that ticket!

As I’m dead-sure that McCain’s a sad goddamned candidate for the Repugs, and that he’s actually no threat to Obama winning the general election (short of another Supreme Court decision unworthy of any subsequent citations), I get a hella lotta laughs at his pratfalling rhetorical style…It’s slightly more harmless than Dubya’s retardation, for want of the weapon of that massive Plenary Executive codpiece…Have you noticed: McCain forms and reforms a sentence on-the-fly like nothing more than a contestant frantically and sloppily searching for the “answer” on the 1,000,000 Pyramid…

 
 

One problem with a Huckabee run as VP is whatever happens in November, he’s at the top of the ticket in 2012. And I don’t want the Mayan prediction of the End of Times to be fulfilled by his election.

 
 

It’s the elephant in the room: How much has illegal immigration
NEW RULE: Any elephants in the room need to produce their green cards and prove that they entered the country legally.

 
 

Brandi, you tease!

I thought I’d see something worthy of the Mutter Museum!

Oh rats, did the link not work? Snopes is sometimes a little funny about hotlinks.

Try copypasting http://www.snopes.com/photos/medical/maggots.asp and you’ll see what I was getting at.

(PS The Mutter Museum had some of the most astonishing calendars back a decade or so ago…)

 
not even an mba
 

via sell-out Wonkette a list of what Senators have to say about the running mate question. Both Domenici and Grassley think they’re too old to be VP, it’s a good thing that spry young McMaverick is 3 or 4 years younger.

 
 

a list of what Senators have to say

Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.)
“I know already who it will be: the man in charge of the search. There’s no need for me to respond. That’s how you get to be vice president.”

Meow.

 
 

If you want McCain in the White House, Huckabee’s your VP pick. On TV, he comes across as a decent and likable guy, despite his political record that screams out ‘dishonest religious right wingnut thug’.

If you want Obama in the White House, pretend to be a Republican and start talking up VP Hillary Clinton (who the Weekly Standard calls “one of us” on freerepublic and redstate.

 
 

In order to annoy entire previously-unpissed-off demographics, I’m promoting the idea of Hillary Clinton as McCain’s VP candidate.

 
 

The Lies: Really, this election is such an easy choice: a far-left liberal vs a moderate conservative.

ha ha ha ha ha, gasp, wheeze, har har, oh, my head, I can’t keep laughing like this, I’ll choke. Obama a far-left liberal? I voted for him, but I almost didn’t, dude, because he’s so centrist I really saw almost no difference between him and Hillary. And McCain a “moderate” conservative? The same McCain who happily voted for every pro-torture bill and against every attempt to ease the lives of anybody except rich bastards like his best bud, the utterly corrupt Charles Keating? (And by the way, I’d really, REALLY like to see some of that old dirt on Keating and McCain dug up again; bet my last dollar the worst of it’s not even all that old).

You want real far-left, Mr. Liar, check out Arthur Silber (http://powerofnarrative.blogspot.com/) and read about how the greed and arrogance of your side has been fucking up America since the 1890s — that’s right, EIGHTEEN-NINETIES. And meanwhile, stop coming here with your idiot talking points.

 
 

just wanted to add my voice as another dem NOT excited about this possibility. brad, pundit =/= real voting base.

huck terrifies me. he’s great on tv, he has enormous appeal to the republican base, and a voter database that’s 45,000,000 strong.

shit, he appeals even to me–i found myself nodding my head along for a few minutes when he was on colbert. now, i’m just about as left-wing as they come. if he can snow me for five minutes, what do you think he’s gonna do with a pro-life, poverty-stricken swing voter? good fvcking night.

the reason he lost in the primary was his lack of cash. you really want to tie him into the main gop fundraising machine? cause that’s EXACTLY what the veep spot would bring him.

just cause we take back the wh doesn’t mean everything’s gonna be ponies and rainbows. the next four years are most likely gonna be pretty rough, and the 2012 election’s gonna be a lot closer than this one. something to keep in mind…

 
 

fucking wordpress! omg, now i know what you’re talking about.

anyway, huckabee=scary. 2012, $$$$, yadda yadda yadda. i’ve watched a tv show before.

that’s my last comment, in a nutshell.

 
 

The question is, is Huckster in with the Moral Majority/Dominionist crowd or not? If not, his Christianity won’t count for squat – those folks are the ones with the real pull whn it comes to mobilizing the, ahem, bully-pulpit. If he’s in, he may well scare a LOT of folks over to the Dems who’d otherwise either hold their nose & vote GOP for local reasons or stay home.

Fact is, their slate of VP choices seriously blows.
Just look at the stuff they scraped off the bottom of the barrel to choose from for POTUS this time around.

OT, Or Maybe Not : Right now I’m hoping that the DOJ grows a pair & subpoenas Rove, who I’m sure considers himself untouchable. Put “Bush’s Brain” in a nice shiny set of handcuffs & he may start singing some VERY interesting ballads of unrequited love as to exactly how his “ex-“boss ran the freak-show while Rove was his employee, as part of a plea-bargain to stay out of the Crowbar Hilton.
McTruth’s logic-chip is obviously not hooked up: the GOP got its ass handed to it in 2006, when Bush’s numbers were signifigantly BETTER than they are now, before the economy started acting like Old Yeller with the rabies – & you’ve now got top-level Goopers saying on TeeVee that McCain WILL be a 3rd Bush term. Yes, LET’S talk historical trends – like the rock-solid trend called the Election Cycle for one … my calendar says you can pull the stick out of the Republicans & stop turning them over, they’re done … & after being degraded by a hardcore bastard like Bush, may just stay done for a long long time to come.

Bush, Rove & Cheney being caught out laughing at the Born-Agains for their gullibility doesn’t help much. That one gaffe alone is an electoral kill-shot, even without audio. Can you say “Political Suicide”? Jesus, the GOP just voted against MOTHER’S DAY – they’ll be holding kitten-strangling contests on C-SPAN by the fall, at this rate.
The media’s been doing everything it can to cover his decrepit ass, but McCain just isn’t well-liked by either the incumbents or much of their voting-base. He’s needed to dramatically distance himself from Chimpy, but he’s too scared/gutless to do so & offend either the 27%’ers or the Imperial Whitehouse. Um, plus the Dems are outvoting the Repubs by 3:1 or better now, & it’s only the primaries. Calling either of the generic moderates on the “D” ticket either “liberals” or “radical” just shows someone needed to pay attention in PoliSci 101, not plan the big Toga Partay on Friday.

 
 

Huckabee, schmuckabee.

According to the sharp minds at RedState, Mad Jack’s best choice for a running mate is…Rhose Island Governor Don “Pink Dimples” Carcieri.

That’s where I’m putting my money.

 
 

Huckabee, schmuckabee.

According to the sharp minds at RedState, Mad Jack’s best choice for running mate is RI Governor Don “Pink Nipples” Carcieri.

That’s where my money’s going.

(Hanks to Tbogg)

 
 

I think Huckleberry actually believes the crap the GOP has been using to buy Xtian votes all this time, and might actually make actual “Xtian values,” like loving one’s neighbor and helping the poor, priorities…

Unfortunately, the Arkansan Elmer Gantry also believes in forcing teachers to tell young children that the Earth is 6,000 years old and therefore “Intelligent Design” is science, not religion. He’s also moved — or so he says — from the idea of rounding up all the homo-seckshuls and putting them in camps “to protect the rest of us from AIDS”, to rounding up all the fat people and putting them in weight reduction camps “for their own good”. As a devout Evolutionist and an equally devout Fat Person, I don’t want Huckaboob one of McCain’s irregular heartbeats away from the Oval Office, even if he might accidentally espouse some non-insane social policies that would make Pastor Hagee cry.

 
Mo's Bike Shop
 

In order to annoy entire previously-unpissed-off demographics, I’m promoting the idea of Hillary Clinton as McCain’s VP candidate.

I’ve got that possibility filed under my “She’s Trying to Out-Humphrey Humphrey” theory.

I’d change my mind about a floor fight if Barry and Hill decided it using mecha-transformer battle suits.

 
 

“I think Huckleberry actually believes the crap the GOP has been using to buy Xtian votes all this time, and might actually make actual “Xtian values,” like loving one’s neighbor and helping the poor, priorities…”

Unfortunately, the Arkansan Elmer Gantry also believes in forcing teachers to tell young children that the Earth is 6,000 years old and therefore “Intelligent Design” is science, not religion. He’s also moved — or so he says — from the idea of rounding up all the homo-seckshuls and putting them in camps “to protect the rest of us from AIDS”, to rounding up all the fat people and putting them in weight reduction camps “for their own good”. As a devout Evolutionist and an equally devout Fat Person, I don’t want Huckaboob one of McCain’s irregular heartbeats away from the Oval Office, even if he might accidentally espouse some non-insane social policies that would make Pastor Hagee cry.

 
Northern Observer
 

The Truth said,
May 13, 2008 at 16:50
Now you folks are trying to comfort yourselves ..

Confort? Confort is for pussies and republicans. Now suck. on. this.
Beeeeeeaaaaaatttchhhhhhhhh.
We’re coming to your town.
We’re gonna burn it down
We’re an American band.

Obama\Webb 08

 
 

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