A Grave Indignity and Degradation of the Human Person
Over at America’s Shittiest Website™ there is a debate raging over what may surely be the most important issue facing the United States in the coming decade — the sale of Playboy at military PXs. In one corner of the ring, we have K-Lo, who feels that Playboy is degrading to women and who prints an email from a reader that blames military divorce rates on — you guessed it — the sale of Playboy to horny soldiers. In the other corner we have Andrew Stuttaford whose interest in pornography may not be completely academic.
Just when you think that certain elements in the GOP can go no further in their embrace of the nanny state, we see a news item like this:
Concerned that the military is selling pornography in exchange stores in spite of a ban, one lawmaker has introduced a bill to clean up the matter. “Our troops should not see their honor sullied so that the moguls behind magazines like Playboy and Penthouse can profit,” said Rep. Paul Broun, R-Ga., unveiling his House bill April 16.
K-Lo puts down the rosary that was in one hand and the order of “Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes” that was in the other long enough to type this:
I, for one, have no objection to the idea. We’re not talking about something crazy like consfiscating [sic] pornography from military servicemen (or women) who own it. But I like the idea of the american [sic] military having nothing official to do with porn. We train our servicemen to protect and defend, in situations in which they often have to face perilous choices as who [sic] to protect and defend.
And if it comes down to a choice of saving a stash of Playboy magazines and a buddy, well, you know, the buddy’s just going to have to take a bullet.
Pornography is a grave indignity and degradation of the human person.
If the NRO thing doesn’t work out for K-Lo, she can always ghostwrite papal encyclicals. Well, maybe not.
If a soldier wants to view pornography, it’s his right, but the U.S. military need not provide it to him.
Good point, Kathryn. There are plenty of safe, well-lit, clean places outside the PX in Iraq where a soldier can buy a Playboy.
Then we have Andrew’s “K-Lo, you ignorant slut” moment:
Kathryn, we can agree to differ in our views as to whether pornography is by definition degrading (I don’t believe it necessarily is, needless to say), but does the fact that Playboy is sold in exchange stores really imply any sort of official endorsement? I don’t think so. For example, exchange stores also stock cigarettes, and, last time I checked, smoking was not something that Uncle Sam was recommending that anyone should do. What’s more, many people consider cigarette smoking to be irrational, self-destructive, dangerous to others and, yes, immoral. Would you ban cigarettes from the PX?
We’re not quite sure why Stuttaford thinks it’s “needless to say” he doesn’t think pornography is degrading, but, frankly, we’re not really all that anxious to find out.
K-Lo doesn’t take it sitting down:
Porn is a problem. Is Playboy less of one than the world wide web of hardcore porn we all have access to right now? Yes. But it’s all dehumanizing. And we should talk about it. It’s not just something people look at privately. It has consequences for honor and integrity.
The only pictures of boobies that honorable soldiers should be looking at are pictures of the Commander-in-Chief and Vice-President Cheney.
But there’s more from K-Lo:
Porn is a sad and lonely world, and I respect men — especially military men — too much to know they may be living in it.
Iraq is, of course, a happy and cheerful world, which is why K-Lo isn’t really concerned that soldiers may be living there. No, the real danger to our troops isn’t an IED; it’s an exposed nipple in a Playboy centerfold.
What a frist!
Porn is a problem. Is Playboy less of one than the world wide web of hardcore porn we all have access to right now? Yes. But it’s all dehumanizing.
Dehumanizing! For men and women trained to kill people they don’t know for reasons that don’t extend past “because we said so”. Unfucking believable.
War is dehumanizing, you bitch.
“It’s not just something people look at privately.”
No. No, it’s certainly not. The looking leads to the naughty and that’s not right.
Wasn’t it Benjamin Franklin who said that porn is proof that God loves us?
What the hell is this semi-literate dope talking about? Does K-Load really actually legitimately think that the troops haven’t been thinking about/looking at/getting nookie since…forever?
Why don’t you move your fat ass enough to enlist? …especially military men…gah, just SHUT UP.
Porn is a problem, but the rape of US servicewomen by their “brothers” in arms is no biggie, especially not when it’s so common.
Porn is a sad and lonely world
And trust us, the folks at ASW(tm) are the experts on sad and lonely worlds.
Why don’t you talk about the good news, different brad?
On the other hand D.N. the Spartans, as implied in the homoerotic funfest 300 and cemented in the notion of “greek love”, just went and fucked each other in the ass.
Porn is a sad and lonely world, and I respect men — especially military men — too much to know they may be living in it.
Fixing the internets:
Iraq is a sad and pointless mission, and I respect men — especially military men — too much to know they may be living in it.
I’d say waterboarding is a lot more degrading than any porn I’ve ever seen.
Porn is a problem. Is Playboy less of one than the world wide web of hardcore porn we all have access to right now? Yes. But it’s all dehumanizing.
Well, we wouldn’t want anyone to be dehumanized in a war that’s killed tens of thousands. Heavens, no.
But I stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill haven’t fooooooooound…what I’m looking forrrrr…
Porn is a sad and lonely world, and I respect men — especially military men — too much to know they may be living in it.
The last part of this sentence makes little sense to me. I think she’s saying she’d like to stay ignorant, yes? That certainly would conform to her conservative mindset in general.
I also have to say, she really can’t have read many war memoirs, and she’d best never watch a production of Biloxi Blues, because the frequent discussion of masturbation might turn her off.
Well, K-Low, Iraq is a mad and lonely world so porn will be in good company there. Personally, I can’t stand the porn industry – there’s much that’s rotten about so much of it – but what the fuck ever when pretty much everyone living in Iraq risks being slaughtered and there’s little safety for women from sexual abuse. What I can’t stomach about K-Lo is her Church-lady naivete. Does she really think that “good” men excuse themselves from the porn channel? Does she really think every soldier is a saint? Dumbass idiot.
Representative Paul Broun is a hero, literally a savior to billions.
Kathryn Jean Lopez is the Wonder Woman to his Batshitman…er…Batman.
The average man destroys 300-400 million Spermatozoan Americans every time he, well, you know…does the thing with the porno.
Can you imagine the Spermatozolocaust happening in the Green Zone every day? Let alone the FOBs where there ain’t a wimmin within 100 miles?
Doodling the dingle is by far the most important problem in Iraq today.
I applaud the efforts of the distinguished Member from Georgia and his noble lady sidekick, and I urge them to use their awesome powers of perception to tackle some of the other pressing issues in our overseas colony.
The shortage of spaghetti sauce on Tuesdays.
The uncomfortable vinyl seats in the Humvees.
The crappy TP in the latrines.
It’s problems like these that the good people of Georgia elected U.S. House of Representatives Member Paul Broun, R-Batshitville to handle and the good people of America’s Shittiest Website hired National Review Member Kathryn Jean Lopez, R-Crazytown to buck him up handling.
Godspeed, you good and noble duo. Godspeed.
The Yanks are coming!
The Yanks are coming!
Pornography is a grave indignity and degradation of the human person.
Only when it’s done well.
This woman is the spiritual granddaughter of the Women’s Christian Temperance Union types who tried to stop the Army Air Force from giving air crews a shot of whiskey after missions in World War II.
Why do so many of the people who yell the loudest to “support our troops” act so pissy to the real ones?
…the Spartans, as implied in the homoerotic funfest 300 and cemented in the notion of “greek love”, just went and fucked each other in the ass.
Which, as was discussed here recently, is a bit of a problem for our lads in the Marines. The problem is, they all want to be on the bottom.
As to this little bit of puzzling verbiage
I think she’s talking about these folks.
There’s nothing like a well designed cup to support our troops.
So I hear.
The answer is to sell Playboy in the base stores, but with any indecent pictures modestly blurred.
We will call this policy “moral unclarity.”
I’m bringing this up the next time one of these wingers claims that lefties hate the troops.
C’mon, these guys are trying to take away their porn!
[…] Anyway, always read Sadly, No! It’s always brilliant and funny. […]
Are they really this upset over Playboy? When I was a horny teenager, I would have spit on a copy of Playboy. I wouldn’t have sullied my under-the-mattress stash with something like that.
And this is to say nothing of soldiers in a fucking combat zone. I’m frankly surprised they’d waste their time with it.
It had nothing to do with the percentage of female soldiers that like to read Playboy, does it?
K-Lo respects military men enough to make sure their spank bank is empty, but… wait. Silly me! That’s all she needs to prove she cares for the welfare of our military men and women. What am I thinking, comparing her world view to my own?
I remember the year the Military Honor and Decency Act was passed. We went from a magazine store full of porn to word puzzles, home design and Christian bullshit rags over night. It was so depressing. Where was I going to stick the latest Value City bedroom set in the barracks for God’s sake?
If she honors the military she should have pity and let them shoot their loads on glossy pages so they can make it through deployments without getting tired of Rosey Palm. I couldn’t shoot, but I did degrade men reading Playgirl.
When I was in the Army you could find Penthouse magazine right next to Morality Today on the magazine racks.
But that was in Peacetime, so now all bets are off.
After a week-long popegasm, K-Lo is worked up to a fever pitch of piety.
Don’t you see, the soldiers are endangering their Almighty souls. K-Lo is just doing her Christian duty for the brave, noble soldiers and their brave, suffering families.
It’s for the children.
Porn drives you Commie LIE-bruls insane and makes you riot:
Rush Limbaugh Calling For Riots In Denver
Talk Show Host Wants America To See Actions Of ‘Far Left’
DENVER — Talk show host Rush Limbaugh is sparking controversy again after he made comments calling for riots in Denver during the Democratic National Convention this summer.
He said the riots would ensure a Democrat is not elected as president, and his listeners have a responsibility to make sure it happens.
“Riots in Denver, the Democrat Convention would see to it that we don’t elect Democrats,” Limbaugh said during Wednesday’s radio broadcast. He then went on to say that’s the best thing that could happen to the country.
Limbaugh cited Al Sharpton, saying the Barack Obama supporter threatened to superdelegates that “there’s going to be trouble” if the presidency is taken from Obama.
Several callers called in to the radio show to denounce Limbaugh’s comments, when he later stated, “I am not inspiring or inciting riots, I am dreaming of riots in Denver.”
Limbaugh said with massive riots in Denver, which he called “Operation Chaos,” the people on the far left would look bad.
“There won’t be riots at our convention,” Limbaugh said of the Republican National Convention. “We don’t riot. We don’t burn our cars. We don’t burn down our houses. We don’t kill our children. We don’t do half the things the American left does.”
He believes electing Democrats will hurt America’s security and economy and appeared to call on his listeners to make sure that doesn’t happen.
“We do, hopefully, the right thing for the sake of this country. We’re the only one in charge of our affairs. We don’t farm out our defense if we elect Democrats … and riots in Denver, at the Democratic Convention will see to it we don’t elect Democrats. And that’s the best damn thing that can happen to this country, as far as I can think,” Limbaugh said.
Military men living in porn?
Gosh, that sounds somehow familiar…
http://www.americablog.com/2005/02/man-called-jeff.html
K-Lo an ultrafeminist. Who knew?
Sorry Rugged, it’s only Super Bowls and Stanley Cups that get us Denverites a’ rioting. Porn riots are up the road in Boulder.
K-Blow makes me sad. You all make me laugh. S,N! makes me feel all bi-polar.
OK, everyone line up and promise to only have unofficial interactions with porn!
Seriously, if that woman doesn’t have a drinking problem she must be brain damaged. Every sentence that she burps into the Internons is a whole pack of Wookies on Endor. And Ms. SuperDuper Patriot spells America with a lower case a? Brilliant. If you tried to do this as a comedy routine people would say it was too forced.
Another entrant on my “Most likely to get caught sucking meth off a goat,” list.
If there is any justice in the world Broun Streak will toddle out to Iraq to tell the troops how he is keeping their honor unsullied. When he gets back he can thrill his constituents with the story of how a bunch of English-speaking terrists in American combat gear beat him senseless.
Unless the prostitutes boycott and the specially trained goats run off.
I see an interesting 1st Am. case on the horizon.
KLo is such an amateur: I say soldiers should not be allowed to shower naked or even to pull their pants down to utilize the facilities in case they see something they shouldn’t.
Yeah. I mean … jesus, at this point it’s not much different than Maxim, and the nudie pics are basically paintings. That shit ain’t porn.
And seriously, the fundies should be thankful – there hasn’t been a bared cock in Playboy, ever, as far as I know. There’s no temptation toward the Gay.
Rush needs to get his fat ass out there on the front lines. I’d love to see him get a good boot-stompin’.
Rush:
Sadly, No.
Where’s mah Hewitt pic?!? If any post ever called for his moobs, this would be the one.
I’d love to see K-Lo do a little verbal dueling with my favorite smut-merchant, Larry Flynt. That would be ever so funny.
And if it comes down to a choice of saving a stash of Playboy magazines and a buddy, well, you know, the buddy’s just going to have to take a bullet.
If something happens to my porn he’ll be taking the barrel too, if you know what I mean. KLo can have my magazines as soon as someone pulls the crusty, lipstick-smeared Mitt Romney headshot from between her sticky fingers. Jesus sees what you do at night.
The sear trips.
The hammer drops, driving the firing pin forward.
The firing pin embeds with the open, welcoming primer.
Click
The pin hits the primer.
FsssshhhhPOP
The primer cooks off.
The flame spreads into the powder in the case.
BAM
The powder cooks, and the bullet releases from the case and enters the barrel.
The pressure builds behind the round as it gathers speed down the barrel.
The gas is routed back through the gas port, inpinging on the bolt carrier.
The bold carrier is driven backwards, disengaging from the chamber.
The bullet exits the barrel, having reached it’s final velocity, and the pressure in the barrel subsides.
The bolt carrier travels back on it’s rails, pulling the spent casing back with it.
The extractor hits the cam and kicks the spent case out of the ejection port.
The bolt carrier hits the end of it’s travel and begins to return forward.
The bullet is seventy five yards downrange, traveling at twenty nine hundred feet per second.
The bolt carrier strikes the top round in the magazine, stripping it and driving it into the chamber.
The bolt locks up with the fresh round correctly headspaced in the chamber.
The round is supersonic, traveling downrange with a familiar ripping noise.
The round hits a young Iraqi, high in the chest.
It’s a 55 grain slug with a steel or titanium penetrator core.
It pierces the skin and begins to expand in the muscle. It barely touches the rib as it goes by, but it’s enough to set it to tumbling. It tumbles through the chest cavity, down and to the left, tearing through the right lung, liver and the top of the right kidney. It exits, spent, in the lower back after knocking a chunk out of the pelvis.
The young Iraqi runs a few steps, slows, looks around in confusion. Blood bubbles up in his mouth. He coughs and spits. Looks around again. Nobody’s around. The sound of gunfire still hammers in his ears. He takes a few steps into an ally, and drops to his knees.
He doesn’t know it, but his lung is collapsing while his chest cavity fills with blood. Very little blood leaks out of the small entry and almost as small exit wounds. But the bleeding is fierce. This young man’s life will, from here, be measured in minutes.
He flops, propping up against the wall of the ally. Breathing is harder. His vision is grey. The sounds of the fight seem farther away. He thinks of his childhood, of his sister, his mother. He just needs to rest. Yeah. He leans over, coughs up a great gout of blood, and he dies.
You want porn? War is porn.
Sex is beautiful, even when it’s not.
When strangers fight desperately to kill one another?
That’s the most evil pornography imaginable. And that seems perfectly acceptable to these criminals.
Bah..
mikey
Are you kidding me?
Playboy barely qualifies as tasteful artistic nudity, much less pornography.
K-Lo’s bitterness at not looking like one of those over-photoshopped Playboy models is so palatable that it almost (almost) ruins the delicious yummy of my Boston creme cake with chocolate frosting.
Another pathetic and desperate Republican wedge issue to try and scrape some votes from the lowest common denominator of society.
And this is to say nothing of soldiers in a fucking combat zone. I’m frankly surprised they’d waste their time with it.
They read it for the articles, doncha know?
Oh noes! we have soldiers looking at pin-ups!! What’s the world coming to?
Don’t ya’ll see what this is really about? K-Lo isn’t offended by the porn, it’s the fact that there are women that men actually want to see naked!
“K-Lo doesn’t take it sitting down”
Whoa, dude, WAY too much information for me there.
Though one suspects K-Lo doesn’t take it any other way either.
Yes yes yes YES! Rush needs to put his money where his mouth is, go to Denver in person, & do it to it … go on, fat-boy, show your dittohead fanclub what a Real Man is & walk the walk!
I believe some “Defeatocrat” folks would just LOOOOOOOOVE to, er, “dialogue” with Mr. Oxycontin using the steel-toe dialect. Especially some folks of the “phony soldier” persuasion.
You know, if anything untoward DOES go down & it can be linked to Lardboy, even his sponsors won’t save him – he’s already got a criminal record. Is he really too dense to realize that someone might go all “Operation Anti-Chaos” on his ass & cause a minor melee, then loudly proclaim “I did it because Rush told me to” to the Feds, thus terminating his career? He’s channelling Morton Downey Jr., & it’s even uglier than MDJ was.
All the world is sad and lonely
Everywhere I roam
“We train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won’t allow them to write ‘fuck’ on their airplanes because it’s obscene.” –Kurtz
All the world is hot and slutty
Everywhere I… unnhhhh…
Urf.
That’s good, because only porn creates male military horniness. Otherwise it’s all safely stored up for the good wife stateside with the sole, temporal distraction of his lovely assault rifle, Lucille.
Although there may be a lucrative market in outsider stick figure pornography created in battle zones to be tapped. This could be a boon to those effete liberal NY gallery owners.
Imagine the weird shit Jesus has seen over the years.
I could write a book.
K-Lo’s writing is a grave indignity and degradation of the English language.
Oh noes! we have soldiers looking at pin-ups!! What’s the world coming to?
Shit, thanks for reminding me. Is there any difference between a Playboy centerfold and that famous Rita Hayworth pinup? And before you answer, yeah, she showed her tits. But more importantly, she showed her legs.
Jesus sees what you do at night.
He’s looking for ideas. Eternity is a long time.
Every day, I write the book.
A couple pounds of silicon.
K-Lo. Worrying about Playboy in a war zone.
It’s disgusting how these people have perverted common sense into some comical concern for people’s well being – people they’ve chattered into a protracted and bloody war built on false pretenses and fear.
This isn’t The United States. It’s a cowed, perverted, greedy version of what my grandfathers fought for.
I have a suggestion for Playboy and K-Lo. Remove all the articles and make K-Lo the centrefold and feature subject. I will bet my next paycheque they’ll stop reading. Unless, they’re, you know, into frump.
Uh, ha ha, oh shit, I can’t concentrate because that photo makes me laugh so damn hard. OK, I give, what the hell do those signs on the wall behind Mark “Cum” Stain and the Jonanist say?
But what I wanted to say was, uh, if memory serves didn’t W. F. Buckley publish in Playboy quite a bit?
Mah frump, mah frump, mah lumpy wingnut frump.
Lesley started it.
I am sure someone else pointed this out:
Pornography is a grave indignity and degradation of the human person.
this coming from a person who thinks torture is teh awesome!!!1!!
Well said Mikey (as always)…
Why does K-Lo hate the troops and want them to die from prostate cancer?
Ejaculatory frequency, especially in early adult life, is negatively associated with the risk of prostate cancer, and thus the molecular biological consequences of suppressed or diminished ejaculation are worthy of further research.
“>. . . high ejaculation frequency was related to decreased risk of total prostate cancer
It’s not just something people look at privately.
As a regular public library user, I can tell you that it is not just something people look at privately.
K-Lo isn’t objecting to ejaculation per se. Nocturnal emissions whilst dreaming of K-Lo-like creatures is the Lord’s way of assisting you until you find yourself married to K-Lo like creatures. Also, while you’re fighting in Iraq, think of K-Lo. You’ve got her back!
mikey–
“It pierces the skin and begins to expand in the muscle. It barely touches the rib as it goes by, but it’s enough to set it to tumbling. It tumbles through the chest cavity, down and to the left, tearing through the right lung, liver and the top of the right kidney. It exits, spent, in the lower back after knocking a chunk out of the pelvis.
The young Iraqi runs a few steps, slows, looks around in confusion. Blood bubbles up in his mouth. He coughs and spits. Looks around again. Nobody’s around. The sound of gunfire still hammers in his ears. He takes a few steps into an ally, and drops to his knees.
He doesn’t know it, but his lung is collapsing while his chest cavity fills with blood. Very little blood leaks out of the small entry and almost as small exit wounds. But the bleeding is fierce. This young man’s life will, from here, be measured in minutes.”
This is basically the same death sequence sustained by every single person killed in combat by ballistic trauma.
No one should go out this way anymore except those who cheerlead for teh violent death.
I’d like Jonah, the Ole Perfessor and teh Malkin idiot to volunteer for this service.
Cheers unto death you worthless chickenshit douchebags.
LOL! K-Lo is all cool for those same men and women fucking dying for her right to fucking choose her own reading material but she feels the goddamn need to treat them like shit in return.
Get her fucking ass in uniform.
K-lo is cool with her rights to choose her own reading material but those who fucking fight and die for her right aren’t allowed.
Get her ass in uniform. We’ve lowered standard, she’d be acceptable.
“Talk show host Rush Limbaugh is sparking controversy again after he made comments calling for riots in Denver during the Democratic National Convention this summer.”
Brown Shirts.
That was the first thought that popped into my head when I read that. It’s the fucking beer hall putsch all over again. Wonder if Flush noticed that?
“high ejaculation frequency was related to decreased risk of total prostate cancer”
I’m gonna live forever!
KLo can have my magazines as soon as someone pulls the crusty, lipstick-smeared Mitt Romney headshot from between her sticky fingers. Jesus sees what you do at night.
Apparently, Jesus has a stronger stomach than I.
Ha! Indeed, I used to tutor at a public library, and one day my student (a nice girl in high school) and I saw a guy browsing the $100-and-under hooker ads on craigslist. I was like “holy crap, did you see that?” and she said “you get what you pay for”.
Oh, ZING, guy in the liberry, you got BURNT!
I’m sensing that K-Lo’s ideal man is Tony Zirkle. Why, they could go on dates together to vanquish the Great Porn-Dragon! When they’re done, they can go celebrate Hitler’s birthday.
It’s a match made in… Well, it’s a match made in… Um, made in… Well. at least I hope they can keep it in the bowl.
Pornography is a grave indignity and degradation of the human person.
Only when it’s done well.
“K-Lo doesn’t take it sitting down”
Whoa, dude, WAY too much information for me there.
PeeJ and Jim FTW!
Jesus sees what you do at night.
I would be more concerned if Jesus was paying attention to what I get up to during the day.
Ok,,, whoever thinks “Playboy” is porn step over to the other side of the parking lot…. now keep going.
Yeah.. ya ever been to one of them kick-ass bachelor parties where all the ex-jocks from highschool get together…make sure all wives, girlfriends, etc are far away… and break out the PLAYBOY??? Yeah, now that’s some hardcore shit!! Whoa, yeah!!! The women almost look real, for shites sake! Whoa,… un-huh… yeah!
One of my collegues who is tied in tight with the Christian Right once remarked in all seriousness that “what Hollywood does is worse than war.” It was a defining moment in my life.
Call me a filth merchant, but I’m putting money on K-Lo being well into dirty sex, she just has that look. The banging on about porn is another sign of a seriously repressed woman sexually. I’m betting dominatrix, but I bet sexy nurse comes a close second…….
GI Joe: when in doubt, defend hot, photoshopped box. EVEN if it may be perilous. It’s time “we the people” stood up for an American girl’s right to look good nekkid.
Did she ever say anything about those camera-phone pictures from Abu Ghraib? Were those indecent and dehumanizing, too?
Well, of course. Shame on those who took them and made them public.
The GOPniks support the troops as long as they can think of them as Sequels Rambo: loyal, violent muscle-men (NO GIRLS/QUEERS ALLOWED) without a visible sex drive.
When they violate the bargain, they mysteriously disappear. You think ‘the troops’ lost Vietnam? Tell that to the Vietnamese Foreign Legion.
Shame on those who took them
Defeatist! Radical!
Trotskyite!Islamofascist terrorsymp!For the record: the vast cloud of private violence, bigotry, and puppy-killing nihilism of the soldiers they forced into this damned thing, and a level of general depravity well beyond any similar group of healthy young adults anywhere in the first world – harmless letting off steam. Those same 20-somethings releasing the natural pressure of their sexuality at its developmental peak: perverse and horrifying, a national nightmare straight out of Orwell’s totalitarian Miniluv.
I’m really glad that after a few elections these people won’t have a party to pander to them any longer.
AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Don’t make me see that without warning!
“It’s not just something people look at privately.”
She’s right. I usually like to gather a small circle of my closest friends together for some shared Playboy-viewing time.
Credit Where It’s Due Dept.: That was actually jim, not me.
I would pay 48 billionty dollars to watch K-Lo explain this to a group of pissed-off horny soldiers stuck in a country full of women who don’t even expose their faces. “Guys, I know you’re getting your asses blown off because me and my friends thought it would be fun, but when you look at boobies it degrades the human person! I’m just not comfortable thinking of you living that way!”
I think K-Lo is just envious because there is not a hope in hell that any American soldier would want to see HER breasts.
I add my voice to those saying Playboy? Playboy?!?
My dad used to go to this manly man barber near where he worked back in the days when people actually had lunch hours rather than lunch minutes. He’d get his hairs cut (he only has a few) and then we’d meet for lunch. Well, in the waiting area of this barber, they had Playboys. I remember one time (I was a preteen at the time) curiosity got the best of me and I started (trying to hide what I was doing from my mom) looking at the Playboy. My mom heads over to where I am (and I’m thinking I’m busted) pulls out a Playboy and starts reading the mag.
It turns out my mom (who is about as straight as you can get) is a Playboy reader — yes, there are people who read Playboy for the articles!
DAS:
Wasn’t that Playboy’s ad campaign from the ’60s?
“What kind of Mom reads Playboy?” (Cut to a mom in a tuxedo, with a bunny on either arm) “I do!”
I’d love to see K-Lo do a little verbal dueling with my favorite smut-merchant, Larry Flynt. That would be ever so funny.
They actually look somewhat similar, come to think of it.
Failing that, let’s take a look at the biography of this blibbering imbecile:
Kathryn Jean Lopez has been featured in Playboy* and praised for her “editorial daring.”
*The Playboy mention was in their editorial section (yes, there really is one).
(If you’re interested, here’s the story from an older edition of NR: “Our associate editor Kathryn Jean Lopez is featured in the April issue of Playboy. We’d better explain: In the Oct. 23, 2000, issue of NR, Lopez had a piece on the increasing radicalization of the Girl Scouts (‘The Cookie Crumbles’). The current Playboy has a piece saying that this article ‘fueled’ a wave of social-conservative attacks on the venerable body. But we just like saying that phrase: ‘Kathryn Jean Lopez is featured in the current Playboy.'”
Well that explains a lot – a little personal vendetta against Playboy for K-Lo, it seems, rather than the usual “You’re having fun and I’m not invited, therefore I hate you” conservative motivation.
Wow Rush, Helter Skelter much?
The fact is, mikey’s da bomb.
Damn, mikey. Way to bring it.
Oh great, now I’ll have to go around all day with a bad porn acting in my head.
As an old soldier who was stuck in some far-off shitholes for long periods of time, far, far away from my girlfriends (or any contact with the opposite sex, for that matter), having a decent porno stash (and a copious supply of tube socks, wink-wink, if ya know what I mean) was the difference between life and suicide.
It’s nice to know a bunch of corpulent chickenhawks like this pig K-Lo take so much of their valuable time to discuss vital military matters like this in such a rational and sober manner. It’s what we all fight for, those of us who serve, to be condescended upon by tubby privileged assholes like her.
I must have missed it, but when did Playboy start including explicit pictures of sexual activity, complete with erect penises (penii?), cum shots, etc., in its magazine? Because K-Lo can’t seriously be saying that pictures of nekkid women is pornographic? Is she really that hung up on simple nudity? Has she ever been to the Sistine Chapel? Lots of nekkid pictures there, women and men both. Then there’s that David guy with his you-know-what hanging out for every innocent child to see.
Good to see that Puritanism is still alive and well in America.
K-Lo: Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been twenty-six hours, thirteen minutes since my last confession. I’m sorry, Father, I had a deadline. I promise I’ll–Father, what’s that thumping sound?
Father: Ow. Nothing, Katherine Jean. It’s so nice to see you again. Why don’t we skip the formalities and go straight to the sinning, seeing as there’s a basketball game on in ten minutes.
K-Lo: (deep breath) Father, I spent the week thinking about pornography.
Father: I’m sorry, what?
K-Lo: Father, I spoke to your before about your hearing. Maybe you should get it checked.
Father: I beg your pardon, my dear. You said you spent the week thinking about ornithography?
K-Lo: No, silly, I mean Father. Dirty pictures. Smut. Licentious women lolling around half-dressed in lacey pajamas. Men giving into their sinful natures, their manhood straining—
Father: Yes, Katherine Jean, I understand now. Please stop, I beg of you. Just—-continue.
K-Lo: I promise, it was for work. I am campaigning tirelessly to help our brave warriors turn away from Playboy, but nobody in the office will back me up. Jonah just sniggered and twitched, Derbyshire looked down my shirt, and Mark Steyn pretended he was going to hit my arm.
Father: That’s a shame, my dear, for you are doing God’s work.
K-Lo: That’s the problem, Father! Every time I looked at the filth to see what the boys were laughing about, I had strange thoughts. So I tried to think about Jesus instead and my thoughts got even stranger. Do you remember that part in the bible when a woman washed Jesus’ feet with her hair? Of course, I’d have to let it grow, but—–
Father:(hastily) Katherine Jean, that’s between you and your Lord. So to speak. You’re absolved, say a Hail Mary and ten Our Fathers. And I think it’s time you tried our singles’ mixer, young lady. Before it’s too late.
I recommend both Andrew and K-Lo enlist, and then report from their personal experience if it is a problem or not at the PXs.
Oh Jesus, that photo is going to give me nightmares.
Rushie: We’re the only one in charge of our affairs. We don’t farm out our defense if we elect Democrats
Motherfucker. May I remind you of trying to sell our port system to UAE, or the Airbus contract to build refueling tankers? Was that Democrats? Sadly, no.
“I am not inspiring or inciting riots, I am dreaming of riots in Denver.”
Limbaugh said with massive riots in Denver, which he called “Operation Chaos,” the people on the far left would look bad
Nope, not inspiring or inciting. Sounds more like conspiracy to me.
If that assbag projected any harder, we could see him from space.
since Playboy is oftheDevil , kin we start a “K-Lo’s Ho (go) Down” group of sexless animatronic robots to sorta service our Troops so their Trigger Fingers are only used for their rifles ?
Remember , if they can’t Jack IT , , , they’re gonna have to Rack it .
Hoo-WEE !
I am sure that clinical research sponsored by the Pentagon (and conducted by the APA) will show that PTSD is entirely the result of spending your off-duty time peering at Playboy and Penthouse. And nobody ordered those boys to ruin their minds and characters by looking at that filth, so don’t go asking Uncle Sam for any disability benefits, d’ye hear?
If you hadn’t been thinking about pussy, you would have seen that IED, son.
A tour of duty in Iraq is a perfect chance for our soldiers to improve their morality and character, separated as they are from our corrupting culture, and living in a morally healthy culture.
And I, for one, think they should use this God-given oppurtunity to purify themselves of impure thoughts.
Funny, I had always disliked Playboy because it’s so outrageously non-realistic. Even as a junior high school kid, i knew that women were rarely likely to be naked yet fully made up and in heels, seemingly “in the mood” yet suspiciously not, and with their hoo-hahs airbrushed to within an inch of their lives. But there was always someone in my group of friends who would, upon encountering a real vagina, be shocked to find them moderately hairy. It’s the same treatment of sex as completely devoid of reality that resulted in some girls at my high school being surprised at the existence of uncircumcised penises At least Hustler showed women without Photoshop and men with erections and the occasional foreskin.
I believe the Communists in Red China also have a strict policy against porn in their Red Army.
And I’ve heard that al Qaeda and the Taliban also have strict policies prohibiting porn at their terrorist training camps.
Gee, I think I see a pattern forming…and it definitely is not a democracy-loving, freedom-loving, separation of church from state-loving pattern.
Please recall Klaus Theweleit’s documentation of the role of sexual fantasy in the lives of Freicorps members, published in German under the title Männerfantasien. The Freicorps fascists, precursors of the SS, were consumers of the porn that circulated in Central Europe in the 1920’s, and many of the fantasies that they developed in association with the porn and occasionally recorded in their diaries were mysoginist. The argument goes that the porn contributed to the process of de-humanization that ended in genocide. Without asserting an identity between the Holocaust and the Iraq War, it is possible to propose that the DoD is attempting to achieve something similar by making Playboy available on base. Guys are going to jerk off, and the generals would surely rather have their soldiers jerking off than raping non-combatants. But by prohibiting porn (assuming that they do prohibit it), maybe the Red Army is trying to promote a process of humanization among its soldiers. Does the DoD promote the humanization of its soldiers?
Hmmm, which is more dehumanizing:
1. Blowing a hole into another human being, snuffing out his life like the metaphorical candle.
2. Bombing a dot on a computer screen, while far away people die a fiery crushing death.
3. Pretty naked girls.
I defer to K-Lo’s superior knowledge of military matters. Presumably gained from reading Tom Clancy novels and playing Call of Duty on her kid’s Playstation.