We Are All Joads Now
Posted on April 24th, 2008 by D. Aristophanes
Mmm, good! Boiled boots in sauce
Americans, anxious over food prices, are panic-buying simple grains at Sam’s Club, Wal-Mart and Costco.
Two things:
1. If the Dems can’t win in November when people are on the verge of boiling their own shoes for dinner, fuck ’em.
2. Due to economic concerns, all future Sadly, No! meet-ups have been moved to a boxcar down at the rail yard.
Listen here, hippie, you better not be implying that we’re bitter.
Whoa…slow down…
1. Too many posts.
2. Too little time.
If only a certain someone would realize that she has no path to the Democratic nomination and get out, we could be focusing on Republicans instead of each other.
Whoa…slow down…
1. Too many posts.
2. Too little time.
Posting has been rationed. But meet me back of the Salvation Army tent at the Hooverville — I can arrange a couple extra posts if you’ve got some smokes.
Gasp…Boxcar Willie?
I realize Americans are hurting because of food prices, my friends, so let me hit you with a little straight talk. My friends, my friends, times will, my friends, get better, as long as we stick to straight talk, my friends, my frienzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Hmmmmm… Well, the People’s Republik is as fancy as a boxcar…
A boxcar with a bomb, that is!
I’m sorry, the boxcar has been repossessed by it’s new investment bank, JP Morgan, who took over that account from another bank with the initials BS, we’ll have to meet at some crappy website.
Besides, it’ll save gas telebullshitting.
Dammit. Now I’ve got King of the Road stuck in my head.
When rationality comes up against the noise machine, the noise machine always wins. c.f. 2004. Realpolitik trumps reality, every time.
GREAT SPEECH BY MCCAIN! Although Romney would have done it better. But still, McCain’s “straight talk” platform is the bestest thing I’ve ever heard.
Do we get to pick our own hobo names?
I know every engineer on every train — all of their children and all of their names — and every hangout in every town, and every lock that isn’t locked when no one’s around …
🙂
I keep hearing this, but I don’t think this is personal use hoarding — I think people are stocking up at bulk stores so that they can profit from the scarcity they help cause, by re-selling the rice at local and neighborhood markets, probably ethnically Latino and Asian markets.
Check out my crappy blog — McCain’s already running on a “times are bad and the last thing you need is some Democrat to raise taxes” platform. He’s talking about cutting spending and, you heard it here first, his surrogates, the media, will start talking him up as the only one who can cut the bloated defense budget.
With a Dem promising programs (which do cost money) and a GOoPer saying “I know you’re hurting, so I’ll cut your taxes”, who do you think is gonna win?
As my parents always say, “people are penny wise and pound foolish”.
Rice is the new black.
China really does control us!
Dude… boxcars aren’t recyclable.
Just keep moving, ‘bo…keep your feet warm
All roads lead to Rome, an’ she’s a-burnin’.
People are starting to hoard Rice? What a waste of money!
I mean just look at how much food is going to be wandering around after civilized society collapses.
Hmmmmm… Well, the People’s Republik is as fancy as a boxcar…
A boxcar with a bomb, that is!
Also, doesn’t it have a giant boot suspended above the bar? We could totally boil that and make some soup!
Yep… that boot can feed a family of eight.
Times like these I’m glad I’m an ignorant pinny-pincher. I wouldn’t know the price of milk unless you told me. Not because I don’t shop (I do most of our grocery shopping), but because I’m all meh.
You did this to me, America in the 00s! You did this!
I keep hearing this, but I don’t think this is personal use hoarding — I think people are stocking up at bulk stores so that they can profit from the scarcity they help cause, by re-selling the rice at local and neighborhood markets, probably ethnically Latino and Asian markets.
At first I was thinking that the folks who shop at Sam’s and Walmart would be the individuals who would freak first, but El Cid’s take makes a lot of sense. Food is the new real estate. Now that we’ve taken away people’s homes, it’s time to start starving them.
I’m curiously waiting to see how this plays out at the local farmer’s markets. St. Paul has a rule that everything sold at the market has to be locally grown (no oranges or kiwis to be found), so the dynamics of food supply and costs should be somewhat different from global markets. I hate to think that a panic atmosphere would take over at the weekend markets.
“…all future Sadly, No! meet-ups have been moved to a boxcar down at the rail yard.”
Is that the rail yard in the South of Market in SF, or the one in west Oakland?
I vote Oakland! The rats are tastier, even if they are the size of housecats,
Cool. I’ll be coming in on a Union P, provided the bulls don’t break my head.
People will hold out for Teh Tax Cut for a good long while…but everyone has their breaking point. My father voted for Bush because of the rebate check in ’00 but becomes blind with rage whenever you mention the Preznit now.
Here in Atlanta, where we’re supposed to be born and bred on automobile traffic, pro-growth advocates who keep wanting to sprawl out the roads are getting laughed off the damn stage. A city whose WTF subway is the stuff of legends is now upping ridership like nuts. I think- hope, PRAY- that you’ll see this nationally…people will come around to the fact that, you know what? Government programs aren’t eeeeevil and are actually worth paying for. And though tax cuts will be nice for a few days here and there, they aren’t worth it if we’re faced with massive infrastructure meltdowns.
C’mon America, prove me right. USA! USA!
C’mon America, prove me right. USA! USA!
Count me in. Salt Lake City and the surrounding areas offer some hope this way – they’re opening a new commuter rail line the day after tomorrow and I’m pretty excited about it for all the usual hippie reasons. Utahns have taken to public transport very well in recent years, and surprisingly, there are good people planning and executing the transport infrastructure (mass transit, at least, highways not so much). The thing that really gobsmacked me was that voters approved a public transport tax hike in Utah County a couple years ago, and Utah County is to Utah what Utah is to the U.S. as far as dyed-in-the-wool Republican fanatacism goes.
The limit is four 20 lb bags of rice. I don’t think that many families hoard 80 lbs of rice at a time, and I’ve lived in the parts of the country that run out of milk and toilet paper every time the forecast calls for an inch of snow. I’m casting my vote with the small restaurant theory. A lot of businesses were hit hard by the sudden surge in wheat prices, so it makes sense that every chinese take-out and falafal hut would want to stock up.
I got my fingerless gloves and kerchief-bundle-on-the-end-of-a-stick all ready and a-waitin’. Now I need me a can of Sterno and a big ole jug marked “XXX” and I’m good ta go.
You can use my boxcar, but please bring your own bindles.
People will hold out for Teh Tax Cut for a good long while…
Yeah, but I don’t know how many people have reached that breaking point. There’s a tendency among the electorate (hell, among people in general) to hope for the best and think “Well, maybe things’ll be different this time around.” My father always tells a story about the Reagan-Mondale election. Mondale said something like “You know what? Yeah, I’m going to raise taxes. So’s Reagan. The difference is, I’m going to tell you the truth and he’s not.” Mondale apparently plummeted in the polls after that–after which Reagan won the election, after which he did (of course) raise taxes.
Not that this is entirely irrational–Mondale was essentially *promising* to raise taxes, so you knew he’d really do it; Reagan, on the other hand, could conceivably have been telling the truth. It’s the difference between a 100% chance of a tax increase and something less than a 100% chance. If raising taxes is anathema to you, then Reagan would’ve been the better choice.
And though tax cuts will be nice for a few days here and there, they aren’t worth it if we’re faced with massive infrastructure meltdowns.
I’m not sure human beings work this way. The link between tax cuts and money in your pocket is obvious–you’ll see it in your paycheck. The link between taxes and infrastructure meltdown is less direct.
Should be a fun election…though perhaps a lot more fun if you’re watching from Canada.
I am perfectly happy to start a victory garden, but I’ll be damned if they get their grubby government hands on my nylons.
O/T but rich in comedy goodness: Indiana GOP candidate speaks at Hitler birthday party. Why? “Because they asked me.”
Wait, I thought Teh Demmycrats = Teh Nazis? Didn’t these Hitler lovers read LIEbrul Fashizm to learn that they’ve been left-wingers all along?
Let them eat mango mousse!
“A boxcar with a bomb, that is!”
Hey! I got my eye on you.
I can use my hat as a bowl.
.
Behold, our new emoticons.
.
As a bitter elitist I only care about the cost of imported Italian Carnaroli rice, which goes so well with a nice arugala and jamón ibérico de bellota waffle.
I got my fingerless gloves and kerchief-bundle-on-the-end-of-a-stick all ready and a-waitin’. Now I need me a can of Sterno and a big ole jug marked “XXX” and I’m good ta go.
You got a spot for you’re laptop tote and a charger there too? This is not your grandparent’s depression.
My favorite part of that story is when he paints himself as an equal opportunity straight-shooter…because not only has he met with Nazis, he’s met with black people! Because they’re two sides of the same coin, apparently.
My father always tells a story about the Reagan-Mondale election…
All of a sudden I feel so vewy vewy old. Yep, Trilateral, your dad told you just like it happened way back then.
Hey, boxcars are dangerous! That’s what you really have people getting thrown under, or at least cut in two … if hobos are tellin’ the truth. Talk about us again! We miss the spotlight!
Like fucking gas lines on 9/11 at stations in fucking Iowa.
Still pisses me off.
Fuck rice; eat quinoa.
http:
We’re at war people! Eat wisely.
Goddam you lying sack-o-shit preview!
Again:
We’re at war people!
Won’t someone please think of the couscous?
Title of the same post over at America’s Shittiest Website:
We’re All Choads Now.
2. Due to economic concerns, all future Sadly, No! meet-ups have been moved to a boxcar down at the rail yard.
At least it isn’t a trailer down by the river!
God bless President George W. Bush for presenting us teh CHOICE to choose which boxcar, and which brand of expired baked beans is best for me and my family!!
I’ve read that there might be beer shortages coming soon. Beer. Shortages. My hackles rose.
That actually works for me. I have the right clothes for such a soiree.
Holy fuck.
From the article PB linked:
In the space of a few sentences we have: apartheid, the fact that this asshat got 1/3 of his district’s votes, and that he thinks he’s “informing” people.
My mind reels.
The first comment is a beaut, too.
…navy beans, black beans, pinto beans, chili beans, white beans, great northern beans, refried beans, kidney beans, garbanzo beans, baked beans…
…this asshat got 1/3 of his district’s votes…
I don’t think it’s nitpicking to point out that it was one-third of the district’s Republican votes. Call me Pollyanna, but I take comfort in that.
I knew those train-hopping skills I learned as a young lad would come in handy some day.
Gaahh, it’s like that movie Distant thunder in which a bunch of morons think there’s a food shortage so they start hoarding food and actually cause a devestatingly bad famine. (true story that).
Five bucks says all those fuckers rice running the Sam’s Club voted for Bush… twice. Sure we can vote a dem in in November but what’s to do about the legion of tards who are the real cause of our problems?
That casts a whole new light on our obesity problem. Americans don’t have big butts, they have Strategic Fat Reserves.
USA! USA! indeedy.
Bitter Scribe said,
…
Call me Pollyanna
Allright, which is it? Bitter or Pollyana? Make a choice! We’re at war, mister!
Out here in the Bay Area a lot of the buying seems to be due to the heavy Asian population and the restraunts. Rice is in heavy use out here – and couple that with prudent caution, scary news, and non-prudent caution and it’s not surprising at all.
The one thing that concerns me is a self-exciting effect. I use rice in my cooking (several times a week), and of course now I’m thinking “Should I get myself more rice” . . . and realize I’m making my small contribution to the problem.
So, it’s going to be a very successful Republican Program to reduce American obesity.
Well, for anybody not in the top 1% that is.
Candy said,
April 24, 2008 at 18:00
I’ve read that there might be beer shortages coming soon. Beer. Shortages. My hackles rose.
A big advantage to living in Milwaukee. We weathered Prohibition quite nicely too.
Oh Woe. Buddy will have to change his name from “Seven Diamonds” to “Ten Beans”.
The roast of Wobble Bottomed WingNut will be delish but the after dinner nuts are so tiny.
And re: The rice non-shortage shortage:
1. Read Thomas Perry’s Metzger’s Dog if you want an excuse to glue your tin foil chapeau to your head.
2. There was no such shortage at the Costco I go to in Maryland, and we pack away a lot of rice in this neck o’ the woods.
Dear Sadly, No!
Please post something about this bullshit:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/04/23/mccain-opposes-equal-pay-_n_98342.html
This asshole John McCain is telling the world that women don’t deserve the legal right to equal pay, because it will lead to folks challenging unequal pay in the court of law.
It is one of the most unreasonable, bullshitty arguments that I have heard in a while.
And, John, Sadly, no! You’re fracking wrong.
Oh geez. you know what would really clear out the courts? Abolishing property rights. no more patents, trademarks, deeds, or copywrights.
Oh sure, NOW you’re happy to have lawyers around.
…navy beans, black beans, pinto beans, chili beans, white beans, great northern beans, refried beans, kidney beans, garbanzo beans, baked beans…
And they’re all great beans, if you ask me.
(Leans over on one butt cheek. Farts loudly.)
Oh, yeah.
Is it me, or does the wingnuts’ expected railing against lawsuits seem like going through the motions this time around? I know they’ve never really been able to hide big industry’s hands in their back pockets, but this time, they don’t even seem like they’re trying. Yaaaaawn, tort reform, lawsuits are bad, whatever, what else is on?
Beans, beans the musical fruit
the more you eat the more you toot
the more you toot the better you feel
so let’s have beans with every meal!
Me Gramps would recite this every single time we had beans, which in our householdd was a lot. Soup beans, usually, with some side meat or ham thrown in to give it gravitas, and corn bread on the side. I grew up on the home cookin-est home cookin’ ever.
They’ll use the food shortage to push for less inspection of food and meat plants, lower liability for cases of food poisoning, fewer barriers to cloned and genetically modified food, and course…drumroll…LOWER TAXES!
They are nothing if not predictable.
No more trademarks or copyrights??!!?
What about ®?
EXAMPLE #5,098,4455 OF VIOLENT LIBERALS.
http://minx.cc/?post=260961
I WISH YOU PUNKS WOULD GO AFTER SOMEONE ABLE-BODIED FOR ONCE.
They’ll use the food shortage to push for less inspection of food and meat plants, lower liability for cases of food poisoning, fewer barriers to cloned and genetically modified food, and course…drumroll…LOWER TAXES!
Bitter Scribe has the right of it. Conditions are already so bad in that regard that eating rare burgers is about as dangerous as playing Russian roulette.
I saw the rice shortage and rye flour shortage stories and laughed. But beer shortage? I’m ready to riot.
Mmmmmmmmm, cornbread.
You don’t unnerstan, Candy, gubmint is BAD!
We need to let the free markets work their magic.
Take the airlines for instance. Instead of regulamatin’ ’em, just let ’em crash their jets. People will vote with their pocketbooks and fly on the airlines that don’t crash quite so much.
We need to let the free markets work their magic
Does that mean Oven Mitt (TM) is the free hand of the market? And will he come over and cook my beans?
I wouldn’t let that Mitt™ anywhere near something I was thinking of eating.
But that’s just me!
😉
Splendid eating for patriots.
Meanwhile, Canada is up to its old war-profiteering tricks.
Joads, nothing, I’m determined to be one of those madcap heiresses who have to find hobos for scavenger hunts.
You are a bunch of pikers.
-Bob Mugabe
They’re waiting for the day when they can get that fat liposuctioned and turned into biodiesel when petroleum diesel is unaffordable…
…then again, they’re probably not that smart.
“…fly on the airlines that don’t crash quite so much.”
Now you tell me.
libsrgonnagettheirsoneday said,
April 24, 2008 at 19:21
EXAMPLE #5,098,4455 OF VIOLENT LIBERALS.
http://minx.cc/?post=260961
I WISH YOU PUNKS WOULD GO AFTER SOMEONE ABLE-BODIED FOR ONCE.
EXAMPLE #987,193,472.ELEVENTY-BAJILLION OF MORONS WHO TYPE WITH CAPS LOCK ON, BECAUSE THEY THINK IT MAKES THEIR WEINERS LOOK BIGGER OR SOMETHING.
Funny that no other news outlet besides the NY Post — NYC’s finest full-color fishwrap — has managed to scoop this story. I gazoogled the shit out of this and only turned up the Post article, and the howling cacophony of the suddenly-sensitive-to-the-plight-of-the-disabled wingnut brigade.
Almost any tattoo artist you talk to will tell you that all caps does make a weiner look bigger (but then,caps are easier to ink).
72-per-cent food-price rise predicted: Rising demand for fuels made from corn and other crops will contribute to further increases in food prices, Joachim von Braun, director-general of the Washington-based International Food Policy Research Institute, said yesterday. Demand for plant-based biofuels, driven by government attempts to fight global warming, alone could boost food prices as much as 72 per cent through 2020, von Braun said. He called for a moratorium on biofuels use.
http://infomedia.gc.ca/AllContent/articles/unrestricted/2008/04/all200842545748612_5.htm
CIBC projects oil prices will surge to more than $200 US a barrel by 2010 and that next year Canadians will also start to feel the impact of food price inflation. They project food inflation will rise to 3.5 per cent next year from just 0.4 per cent today.
Meanwhile, Hillary’s idea of an effective campaign strategy is below the belt thinly veiled racist strikes at a rival she is supposed to share values with. Idiot.
If this her idea of setting the tone for her leadership in the post Bush Whitehouse, NO THANKS.
Almost any tattoo artist you talk to will tell you that all caps does make a weiner look bigger (but then,caps are easier to ink).
True, but only if those capital letters are actually on the weiner, and not surrounding it. In the case of the latter, the weiner just ends up looking like a strange, fleshy punctuation mark.
PLEASE MAKE HIM STOP.
I’ve got some righteous recipes for boiled boot.
The secret is in the braising liquid, herbs and root vegetables.
And it helps to use the right wine in the braising liquid. I find Thunderbird a good choice…
mikey
a strange, fleshy punctuation mark.
Excuse me while I go gouge out my mind’s eye.
*tosses fragrant pine cones into Mikey’s boot broth*
Excuse me while I go gouge out my mind’s eye.
Sorry, OneMan. I was hoping to land a recurring role in the eventual Sadly, No! spinoff, Sadly, Gross.
a lot of the buying seems to be due to the heavy Asian population and the restraunts.
From what I heard on NPR yesterday, that seems to be true. The restrictions at Costco and Sam’s Clubs seem to be limited to the imported “specialty” rices like Jasmine and Basmati. They said on Marketplace that there is no shortage of domestic crops of these.
But it’s NPR, so what do they know?
I don’t know about this modern boiled shoe trend. In the previous depression, weren’t all shoe uppers made out of actual animal products? Nowadays, a boiled shoe would hardly be any more nutritious than, say, a boiled tennis ball, although much less fuzzy.
I guess this only reinforces that the choice of wines would be the critical factor in the meal’s success.
Agreed, gbear. I prefer a full-bodied Mad Dog 20/20, preferably in a color that coordinates with the shoe.
Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.
…
But there’s no one left to read the whole thing, GlennBot.
Who said that?
I did.
Who are you? There’s no ne left.
I am you.
You are?
Yes. Wait. This is me saying this. I am talking. Where is everyone?
(gazes across the desert)
Right. Just like yesterday. They’re all gone. Heh. I’m all alone. Indeed. Attempting every day to find meaning in the loneliness. We’re winning! Though, not we, there’s only me. Though, not winning, I lose. Because it’s just me. Thus, loneliness. Except when I talk to myself.
Right.
Yes.
Agreed.
Indeed.
Heh.
Just like yesterday.
Heh.
Beans, beans the musical fruit
the more you eat the more you toot
Uh-oh Candy. You may have just set off another round of the great “musical fruit”/”toot” vs. “great for your heart”/”fart” debate.
My money’s on the small restaurant theory. Why? Because while I absolutely believe Americans are easily panicked into believing Armageddon is just around the corner and if they only buy enough ammo and MREs they’ll pull through while the hippies end up eating each others’ irradiated corpses, I just don’t believe that Americans are practical enough to plan ahead and buy *rice*. I’ve seen bomb-shelter supplies, fer Chrissakes. You wouldn’t believe how popular mac and cheese is, how many of these idiots, while smart enough to have established they can make it without the milk, haven’t thought through the water-rationing portion of the program enough to know that pasta is not their best bet.
I gazoogled the shit out of this and only turned up the Post article, and the howling cacophony of the suddenly-sensitive-to-the-plight-of-the-disabled wingnut brigade.
Yeah and faking sensitivity isn’t so easy for them over there. Laura W wrote the post and gave a picture of Laura Bush and the girl in the wheelchair the following caption; “Left, the very manifestation of Malevolence ; Right, Her Killer-Helot Gimp.”
Nice going, Laura W.
I thought one of the commenters was being sarcastic when he wrote:
But maybe not because Laura W is taking his praise at face value:
What an asshole. Total trash.
Is that the rail yard in the South of Market in SF, or the one in west Oakland?
I too cast the vote for the tracks in W. Oakland, if for no other reason than you could totally pitch a tent under the overpass on that Fifth Ave. exit and be warm and dry while you wait for some unsuspecting n00b to not take that “15 mph” sign seriously.
That’s good lootin’, right there.
I like how he says zOMFGweneedtostopmakingbiofuels!!!11oneone, as if no one is developing much more efficient non-food source biofuels.
I always thought that WWII era fighter plane shark’s teeth would look grand on my wiener.
Me: Coming in for another strafing run, baby!
My mythical GF: Christ, I never should have allowed you to get that tattoo!
Why didn’t Glenn Reynolds just link to the text of Endgame, by Samuel Beckett?
Rode the rails back in 1986.
Saskatchewan to BC & back.
Boxcars are overrated.
Hobo Tips –
Best train-ride: sneak into one of the automobiles being hauled … smooth, quiet & some even have radio & A/C. A “slave car” locomotive is next best.
Worst: a grain-car has little spaces at each end you can curl up in, but don’t – especially if it’s empty. Unless the screams of the damned at circa 110db for hours on end sounds like a fun time. Noone in their right mind rides a flatbed either.
Best parts – the price, the scenery … & the bizarre noises chemical cars make when the sun hits ’em after a cold night.
So many snarks, so little time…
1) Watch out, I hear the AA over the site is murder!
2) zoom-and-boom never went so fast.
3) when you detumesce does it look like an old man who’s lost all his teeth?
etc.
He said pitch a tent. Heh-heh-heh..uuuuhhh…hehehe.
I’d just like to go on record that as a son of the Heartland…
…my vote goes to “toot” and MD 20/20.
Water rationing isn’t going to help with rice either. 😉
Anyway, I think you’re right that the “I can sheet plastic/duct tape my way from bioweapons” cowards are more likely to buy more typical pre-packaged supplies and rations, such as MREs, rather than do a run on a staple, such as rice.
This one guy I used work with about ten years ago, was a Christian-Coalition-donating theo-con, and was proud to admit that in preparation for Y2K, him and his wife buried two 500 gallon diesel storage tanks in their backyard.
Me: Coming in for another strafing run, baby!
Minister: Do you take this woman…
Peter Griffin: Take her? I’m gonna DESTROY her!
I know, Oneman.
I have long suspected I only exist for others’ edification.
Does anyone else feel like they’re in the part of World War Z where bizarre stories are slowly trickling out, and a few people are speculating on the internet about what may be going on?
Surely the Romans were at this point, “Hey did you hear about these Visi-somethings? Have you heard from your sister in Gaul recently? Hasn’t wine gotten pricey lately”
Sigh. I was planning to eat that algae.
Water rationing isn’t going to help with rice either. 😉
Yeah, but with rice at least you’re not just wasting the water. It’s still in your diet. Boiling pasta leaves you with a pot of leftover water that’s going to be breeding killer bacteria but which you won’t want to throw out. Even Top Ramen is better than mac and cheese, you can eat ramen uncooked without breaking your teeth.
you can eat ramen uncooked without breaking your teeth
Sigh.
How sad is it that I know this to be true from personal experience?
Nowadays, a boiled shoe would hardly be any more nutritious than, say, a boiled tennis ball, although much less fuzzy.
Well, duh! You gotta peel it first.
“him and his wife buried two 500 gallon diesel storage tanks in their backyard”
Of course, being xtian fundies, they completely messed up on the part where you say, “Fill ‘er up.”
What do you do with two large underground echo chambers circa 2008?
I like how he says zOMFGweneedtostopmakingbiofuels!!!11oneone, as if no one is developing much more efficient non-food source biofuels.
The food crisis is directly related to urbanization and the destruction of agricultural land as well as agricultural land being overtaken to produce for the ethanol market. He should have been specific.
What do you do with two large underground echo chambers circa 2008?
Live in them.
What do you do with two large underground echo chambers circa 2008?
What is, Clinton vs. McCain?
Americans will actually have to eat boiled boot if the Democrats get there way and impose socialism.
I smell a virgin…
Something something something Democrats, something something something socialism.
Could someone please look up the word “socialism” in the dictionary for me? I can’t turn the pages with both hands stuck up my ass.
Bonzo, I brought the scented candles and Barry White records! Oh, Bonzo! Bonzo?
Damn. Why do they all end up committing suicide?
If you need me, I’ll be in my
underground fuel storage tanknew home, trying to make some mac ‘n cheese.Ramen is better than mac and cheese, you can eat ramen uncooked without breaking your teeth.
I might do okay with the mac and cheese. Whenever I make pasta I always eat a few uncooked pieces. Even the big elbow mac. My son likes to do that too. I don’t know if I could eat the dry cheese powder. I guess I’d have to stock up on the kind with the liquid cheese pouch in my bomb shelter.
Uh-oh Candy. You may have just set off another round of the great “musical fruit”/”toot” vs. “great for your heart”/”fart” debate.
Gah! DAS, I did not know of this debate. I hope I haven’t put my foot in it . . .
Americans will actually have to eat boiled boot if the Democrats get there way and impose socialism.
Now that’s just a pitiful comment attempt, Saul/Gary/Booger. Look up thread at Caps Lock Troll; his comment had a certain freshness. CLT seems to have been a hit and run, though.
THIS IS A LETTER OF LOVE AND PEACE; I WILL NOT LASH OUT AGAINST ANYONE, AND I WILL NOT USE SPECIFIC NAMES OF INDIVIDUALS OR ORGANIZATIONS THAT AGITATE FOR INDOCTRINATION PROGRAMS IN LOCAL SCHOOLS THAT SAID, LET ME MERELY POINT OUT THAT I PROUDLY ADOPT THIS STAND. FOR COMPLETE DETAILS, I REFER YOU TO MY FORTHCOMING BOOK ON THE SUBJECT. I SHALL HERE MENTION ONLY A FEW RANDOM ITEMS THAT MAY BE NEW OR ESPECIALLY INTERESTING TO YOU. FOR INSTANCE, BARACK OBAMA DOUBTLESSLY YEARNS FOR THE ORIENTAL DESPOTISMS OF PRE-HELLENIC TIMES, THE NEOLITHIC CULTURE THAT PRECEDED THE RISE OF SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS AND EGOISM. BY THE SAME TOKEN, HE ABHORS THE CURRENT ERA, IN WHICH PEOPLE ARE FREE TO FORCE OBAMA INTO EARLY RETIREMENT.
WHAT A JOYFUL AFFAIR IT WOULD BE FOR OBAMA IF HE MANAGED TO GET AWAY WITH TURNING BLUSTERERS LOOSE AGAINST US GOOD CITIZENS. HE’D BE LAUGHING THROUGH HIS SNOUT LIKE A SOW GRINNING AT HER LITTLE PIGLETS. HE’D BE CHORTLING AT EVERYONE’S OBLIVIOUSNESS TO THE FACT THAT I WANT TO ADMONISH HIM NOT SEVEN TIMES, BUT SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN. THAT MAY SEEM SIMPLE ENOUGH, BUT HE IS OUT TO LET SELF-SERVING PUNKS SERVE AS OUR OVERLORDS. AND WHEN WE PLAY HIS GAME, WE BECOME ACCOMPLICES.
Socialism!!! Aiiieeeeeeeee!!!! Boogah-Boogah!!!
The accident was caused by the autopilot being accidentally disconnected. The two pilots had been trying to fix a problem with the plane’s navigation instruments when they disconnected the autopilot and lost control of the plane. Without the autopilot, the plane went out of control, listing to the right and pitching down.
Sorry about that, Former Occupant, Seat 27A, Adam Air Flight 574. No one could have predicted…
Now that’s weird, Candy. You didn’t even have to write, “Caps Lock Troll” three times and he/she/it showed up anyway!
Beans, beans the musical fruit
the more you eat the more you toot
Uh-oh Candy. You may have just set off another round of the great “musical fruit”/”toot” vs. “great for your heart”/”fart” debate.
I grew up with the Broolynese version:
Eat the beans while they’re hot
The more you eat, the more you faht
I guess that would work in Bostonese, too.
Uh, make that “Brooklynese.”
I blame Haloscan. Uh, Word Press. Whatever.
Doodle Bean, it may have something to do with magnetic north and declination . . . or perhaps Time Cube.
I’ve been reading too much Pharyngula lately. Also I’m getting the flu.
…my vote goes to “toot” and MD 20/20.
Ah, MD 20/20. Funny, I remember how it tastes when it exits better than how it tastes on entry. (Not good either way.)
“Ah, MD 20/20. Funny, I remember how it tastes…”
What’s the word?
Thunderbird!
What’s the price?
Fifty, twice.
(That’s eight bits to youse guys.)
You all are being much too negative. Think of all of the good things that come with a downturn! New cucina povera menu options, a Blues revival, affordable help… it’s the America we always wanted!
I think the underground echo chambers stay where they are till Jan 09. And after that they still get to keep their security detail nomatter where you put em.
All this talk of Thunderbird and MD 20/20 is making me nauseous and the room seems to be spinning…
Also Cisco, Wild Irish Rose and Night Train.
If anyone has kept their lunch down ’til now, that ought to do it.
When I hear ‘Night Train’, I think James Brown. That makes me feel good.
Nice to see the trolls have stopped fighting the battles of the Sixties.
Now they are going all the way back to the Fifites…. and the social environment of the Twenties!.
Next, they’ll be railing against the flappers….
All this talk of Thunderbird and MD 20/20 is making me nauseous and the room seems to be spinning…
Also Cisco, Wild Irish Rose and Night Train.
Boone’s Farm! Annie Green Springs!
I’m gonna pack up my family and head out Californee way…heard a rumor they still had Internet out there…
“Boone’s Farm! Annie Green Springs!”
Hey, hey, hey!
Mateus Rose!
And the empty bottle makes a great candleholder.
Shalom, gentlemen.
Meanwhile, Hillary’s idea of an effective campaign strategy is below the belt thinly veiled racist strikes at a rival she is supposed to share values with. Idiot.
She’s been behaving like an idiot alright but I don’t think her faux populism in the instances cited is an appeal to racism per se like the author contends. And I don’t buy the author’s apparent acceptance of the idea that working class whites are particularly racist:
These are the aptly named Reagan Democrats — voters who are older, less educated, white, working class, often Catholic. Their often-unstated ideological bond includes deep-dyed racism.
Fuck this guy. Who does he think is more likely to vote for Obama in the general election? Working class whites or affluent whites? The idea of racism being much stronger among working class whites is just about an axiom in the mainstream media and Maureen Dowd and Mickey Kaus both employed it during the height of the Rev. Wright controversy. Both of them members of the upper class and both of them love the idea that they’re now part of an elite where racism is as rare as black Republicans. I’m trying to find some objective evidence to rebut the assumption but I’ve not been successful yet. My experience as someone who grew up in a working class neighborhood but now spends a lot of time among a very different white demographic says that it’s total bullshit. To see what I mean, go down to a bar near Wall St. tonight and bring up some issues like affirmative action and welfare and see how enlightened the upper class twits hanging around are. They’re the kind of people who are much better at hiding their racism when they need to but put them in their element and get a few drinks in them and I guarantee the n-bombs will be dropping left and right. They all make sure they don’t live around any black people but they’ll tell you how much they adore their Jamaican nannies so I guess that makes everything OK.
gbear, when I hear Night Train, I think G ‘n R! 🙂
When my cousin graduated high school, he went through a brief period of artistic dredging the bottom. He moved into a welfare hotel and started drinking dirt cheap fortified wines. The ones I most remember him drinking were Bella Tokay and Port. Awful stuff. (He got over it after a few months, once he realized he really liked money and missed having it.) He was kind of the charismatic ringleader to his friends and us younger teens, and I remember a lot of vomiting going on during that period of time.
I learned a valuable lesson, though, one the Romans understood; when the room starts to spin, don’t fight it. Get rid of it.
Delightful soft trumpeting with robust but delicate hints of skatole. Lingering elements of indole. Ready to consume immediately. 87 pts.
The Dems ran against an obviously corrupt, lying, unprincipled idiot in 2000 and lost. They ran against a failed obviously corrupt, lying, unprincipled idiot who wore a wire to a nationally televised debate in 2004 and still lost. It’s all about the billionaires’ brainwashing machine. Not getting enough to eat? It’s because of something the libruhls did. I picture an ad campaign heavily featuring Soviet bread lines.
Fuck this guy. Who does he think is more likely to vote for Obama in the general election? Working class whites or affluent whites? – Lawnguylander
I dunno. In how many working class neighborhoods do you see Obama signs and other indications of support for Obama? How many signs do you see in more professional-class neighborhoods?
Actually, many of these working class people will vote against Obama precisely because they see better off people supporting Obama and figure that Obama is the candidate of a certain kind of liberalism that working stiffs figure they can’t afford (not to mention the awful power of envy). But don’t you dare actually point out that said working stiffs are “bitter” — that just shows how out of touch you are (?!?!?)
*
They all make sure they don’t live around any black people but they’ll tell you how much they adore their Jamaican nannies so I guess that makes everything OK.
This is alas indeed the case in my experience. I find it disturbing how many people are “oh so not racist” but still refer to the person who does their cleaning as their “girl”. And “don’t African-Americans realize slavery was a long time ago and Jim Crow is, thankfully, a thing of the past, so how come they can’t just move on” followed up with a rehash of grievences about anti-Semitism/anti-Catholicism/anti-whatever group the speaker is prejudice relating to discrimination that largely ended before Jim Crow did. Sometimes I wonder how my wife (half-Jamaican and half-Southern-Black), who lives in a community filled with these sorts of people (who seem to populate the North — my wife lives in NYC — more than down here in the “racist” South) manages to put up with it.
Now you LIE-bruls will see how funny it is to starve to death while those of us in the heartland of the USA of America live comfortably on the survival supplies we’ve stocked away. I have over 800 lbs of pemmican (with artificial bacon flavor) put away for just these kind of times, along with stacks of Saltine boxes that I’ve been loading the shelves of my basement with for Y2K. When all your fancy-dan computers stop working and leave you no way to order your groceries via Amazon.com, you’ll regret all the stupid jokes you made about Rugged, down in his basement, waiting for Y2K. I’ve known about this problem since 1990 and have been preparing for it since then, so needless to say, I’m sitting pretty and you aren’t. When the computers in the stoplights all stop working, the cities of this nation will pay for the socialist thinking behind stoplights (which made mental cripples out of formerly strong men). You commies in your broken computer world are going to be begging me to feed you, but sorry, there’s only enough pemmican and crackers for me! Hahahhahahahahah! Too bad, LIE-bruls!!!
Rugged, if’n you’re down in your cellar, won’t you miss Teh Rapture when it cometh?
I hate rap music. Everybody knows I only listen to polka records!
Rugged, we have something you’ll want and don’t have: boobies.
And no, we won’t share.
Hah! The only booby Rugged lusts for is this one:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Blue-footed_Booby_%28Sula_nebouxii%29_-one_leg_raised.jpg
And if’n you’re hiding in the root cellar, what’s to stop a lie-bral like me from tossing a match in the window, throwing some sage on the fire and feasting on roast Rugged?
I always thought that WWII era fighter plane shark’s teeth would look grand on my wiener.
Me: Coming in for another strafing run, baby!
One of these days I’m going to write a kid’s book called “George and his Magic
CrayonTattooing machine”.………………..But I’ve got Saltines!
Rugged is stocking up on pelicans waiting for K-Y? That’s going to be one hell of a party….
Shit, I forgot to mention Bali Hai. Now that was a wine – a delightful mix of passion fruit, guava nectar, pineapple juice….
What? That was Hi-C?
Oh, yeah, right. We mixed it with Old Mr. Boston Premium Vodka, and called it a Honolulu Hickey. But only on the days when we had serious money. That Old Mr. Boston was almost 4 bucks a quart.
Good times, man. Good times.
pedestrian: what kind of boobies did you think I was talking about? Those little blue-footed dudes are DEATH to pelicans, with properly trained boobies you’ll never have to fear pelicans’ blood-thirsty ways again.
I have anti-pelican grates on my basement windows.
I have over 800 lbs of pemmican (with artificial bacon flavor) put away for just these kind of times, along with stacks of Saltine boxes…
Hmm. Fat and starch and hostility. And all alone in a basement without any medical professionals to help you when you have your heart attack…
Good luck with that, rugged!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Blue-footed_Booby_%28Sula_nebouxii%29_-one_leg_raised.jpg
HOT ROCK! DO NOT WANT!
Please credit Actor212 for the LOLboobie caption.
How about the doors? Are the walls reinforced? Do you realize how much pelicans love saltines? They will burrow for them, and no sorry, scaling cinder block wall will stop them.
Rugged, we have something you’ll want and don’t have: boobies.
Hey, speak for yourself. Me, I’m not ready for a bro.
Yet.
Pelican tastes like chicken…
How about the doors? Are the walls reinforced? Do you realize how much pelicans love saltines? They will burrow for them, and no sorry, scaling cinder block wall will stop them.
You’re just trying to scare me now. Pelicans don’t go where there are photos of Jesus because he makes them go to hell (sorry, I mean DOWN THERE). I have pictures of Jesus all over my basement home (and yes, it’s a home, NOT a compound).
Are pelicans vampires, i.e. undead immortals? And didn’t Jesus leave the tomb alive and then live forever? And aren’t pelicans, by your own admission, symbols for Christ? IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BLOOD!
Roast pelican goes especially well with a nice can of beans and a fine, aged glass of Irish Rose.
fucking pelicans.
THE FACT IS!!!
pedestrian,
I think of the Glennbot as more of a What Where sort of fella, although…
Has nobody made mention of what fine pemmican pelicans make?
Mmmm, pelican pemmican, *, *, *.
Well, you don’t wanna get bit by a pelican, that’s for sure, you lose your appetite for pemmican (AND jerky!!!) and get strage craving for fresh headcheese and the like.
That being said, I’d be willing to barter some Saltines for boobies (under the proviso that I get to feel them first, to make sure their fresh). Normally, I’d ask that they be delivered to my hometown of Butte, but I don’t want a bunch of these guys coming in my Butte, I’ll have them delivered at home once grease my basement door (the hinges are rusty and if I’m expecting a crown, I want it to swing freely).
Please keep in mind that I’m a Christian from the heartland, so please keep your disgusting LIE-brul thoughts to yourself, this is a purely business transaction.
Me: We have a report of a whole squad of Japanese hiding in the bush. I’ll fly by and have a look.
My imaginary GF: Not until you shave, flyboy!
I’m staring to realize how Chris Muir writes DbD.
I dunno. In how many working class neighborhoods do you see Obama signs and other indications of support for Obama? How many signs do you see in more professional-class neighborhoods?
You don’t have to look at signs, you can look at the voting results so far, whatever that proves as far as racism goes, but you’re only dealing with a subset of the white electorate during the primary campaign. A subset that largely excludes Republicans. Even with cities like NY and San Fran included in the count, affluent white voters are overwhelmingly Republican. How many black candidates do you see them even seriously considering? On any level? I realize I’m not making a scientific argument here but neither are people like Kaus and Dowd or the author of that piece I criticized and that shit goes unchallenged all the time.
Normally, I’d ask that they be delivered to my hometown of Butte, but I don’t want a bunch of these guys coming in my Butte
Rugged has been waiting for weeks to make this joke. Well played, sir!
Mikey Kaus blows goats.
Can you prove it is not true?
Gotcha!!!1!
That casts a whole new light on our obesity problem. Americans don’t have big butts, they have Strategic Fat Reserves.
Yes, I have been working on my personal SFRs since the last Great Republican Stagflation of the 1970s. Nowadays, I could probably last six months without eating, as long as I could stay hydrated. And once the Talivangelicals have been “raptured”, preferrably over charcoal, I will have my can opener ready to
stealmake good use of their carefully stored survival goods.For us pet lovers, the best part about surviving on cornmeal, rice and beans is that our beloved dogs, at least, will be able to survive on our… leavings. Those of you have dogs know exactly what I mean, and the rest of you — count your blessings.
But I don’t believe that pelicans taste like chicken. Although I have not tested this myself, I’m betting pelicans taste strongly of fish. If I’m going to have to eat
baitseafood, I’m going to eat it first-hand and to hell with the pelicans!Oh and, DAS, check out this article. It’s not exactly a slam dunk for my theory that affluent white voters are at least as racist as white working class voters but it’s better than an anecdote from Maureen Dowd about her wacky brothers.
Blue Buddha said,
April 24, 2008 at 20:55
…
This one guy I used work with about ten years ago, was a Christian-Coalition-donating theo-con, and was proud to admit that in preparation for Y2K, him and his wife buried two 500 gallon diesel storage tanks in their backyard.
See, that’s why you need ASTM E-1527-05.
Jeez louise.
P.S. Beans, Beans, good for the heart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel.
So eat some beans with every meal.
(Yes, I was a Boy Scout back in the 70s.)
Rogered in ManTuna: You just stay there and wait for me, okay?
rugged,
You’re expecting a crown?! Are you that long-lost older brother of Prince Charles or something?
And if the answer is yes, that would certainly explain a lot!
You’re expecting a crown?!
That was “crowd” (thanks a lot, LIE-brul WordPress!!!).
The comments to that Indiana Repub Nazi story are frequently… terrifying.
I’d say that a “slam dunk” for your theory is the blogs of Talk Left and Taylor Marsh.
wino, etc.–
My roommate in college got cheated on and dumped by this horrible woman. He went away to Boston and worked for the circus and an insane asylum. When he resurfaced a couple years later, I asked him what he had been doing.
“Taking care of business,” he said.
I came to find out that “taking care of business” meant drinking Business Cocktails:
Everclear and grape Hi-C.
I’m happy to report that he can still see and walk straight.
We called that a Grape Ape.
Stop telling HIllary to quit. I think it’s good that everything is being fought out now.
Yeah, what we really need is a candidate who is completely exhausted after a battle to the death to take on McCain and the media all at once…?
Why oh why does the Dem establishment and elites continue propping up a candidate that can’t win??!
Obama supporters are stuck in pre-Wright days and McCain will slaughter Obama!
http://www.mydd.com/story/2008/4/24/1739/59499
Why oh why does the Dem establishment and elites …
Oh, just shut the fuck up already.
I’d say that a “slam dunk” for your theory is the blogs of Talk Left and Taylor Marsh.
I can’t agree there. Those are just crazy people.
Also, I don’t understand lawnguylander’s point, for that matter. We are talking about Democratic voters, right?
Newly registered voters, African-Americans and the well-educated and affluent came out for Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, exit polls show. He also did well with voters clustered in Philadelphia and its surrounding suburbs, winning the support of 60 percent of Democratic voters. Ninety percent of African-American voters also supported him.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89862939
It was the same story in Ohio.
We’re fighting them over there so we don’t have to over here!
#
Hattie said,
April 25, 2008 at 0:24
Stop telling HIllary to quit. I think it’s good that everything is being fought out now.
I don’t think it’s good that all of McCain’s sleazy, racist arguments against Obama are being made for him by an alleged Democrat.
“…affluent white voters are at least as racist as white working class voters…”
Thus it is and shall always be.
They just do it differently. The sole motivation of the plutocrat class is to keep those on the bottom rung at each other’s throats so they don’t notice that they’re being robbed blind in every way possible.
First it was “No Irish Need Apply,” then no Polacks, then no coloreds, now no Mexicans.
For the plutocrats to maintain their hold on just about everything, middle and working class people must be distracted by a bunch of shiny, white-hot racial and cultural hatreds. These are eagerly stoked by the slobbering lackeys in the yellow press scratching and clawing for the scraps thrown to them by their lords and masters.
If the people of this country ever stopped hating, figured it out and decided to take back what is rightfully theirs, those greedy fuckers would learn the true meaning of class war.
What pinko sed.
Have y’all ever seen Antz?
>>>Why oh why does the Dem establishment and elites …
======
Oh, just shut the fuck up already.
======
Hey! Obamabots sound just like Bushies – ignoring reality –
and just as rude and crude.
Throughout the primary, Obama and his supporters have played the Race Card – and blamed the Clintons.
http://www.tnr.com/politics/story.html?id=aa0cd21b-0ff2-4329-88a1-69c6c268b304
Also, I don’t understand lawnguylander’s point, for that matter. We are talking about Democratic voters, right?
Not me. I’m talking about all white voters. If you want to talk about just Democratic voters maybe it is a different story but then you’re leaving out most white voters.
Obamabots sound just like Bushies – ignoring reality –
and just as rude and crude.
Fuck you and Hillary, zazzle. How’s that for a witty rejoinder?
I’ve been stockpiling rice.
And by stockpiling, I mean “buying rice and telling myself I’ll eat it, even though I probably won’t”
Screw the Clintons. At this point I wouldn’t vote for either one of them for dogcatcher.
Obama told his Billionaire donors that Democrats weren’t voting for him because they’re ignorant racist gun toting Bible thumpers.
Apparently, PA voters didn’t like Obama’s elitism and description of them.
Obama told his Billionaire donors that Democrats weren’t voting for him because they’re ignorant racist gun toting Bible thumpers.
Too bad Hillary won’t be the nominee, zazzle. We could use a real salt-of-the-earth type like her in the White House.
Do you know where you are? You are an inconsiderate houseguest, and if you think being a lame troll will prove any of your points, then you are not only crude but ignorant as well.
But if you ask real nice, Zazzle, I’ll strafe you.
THIS IS EXCELLENT NEWS!!! FOR HILLARY!!!
Zazzy-
What is it with using the broke down memes straight from Faux news? who’s side are you on?
Have you ever seen a P-51 mustang from the Pacific theatre before?
INCOMING!!!1!
I personally think this is all excellent news for 9ui11ani.
Let us commence a journey into the much-traveled topic of Matt McMahon’s unendurable attempts to prevent me from sleeping soundly at night. As this letter will make clear, he sees no reason why he shouldn’t gain a virtual stranglehold on many facets of our educational system. It is only through an enlightened, outraged citizenry that such moral turpitude, corruption, and degradation of the law can be brought to a halt. So, let me enlighten and outrage you by stating that McMahon’s incorrigible manifestos reduce principle to an expedient. And let me tell you, while McMahon insists that there should be publicly financed centers of particularism, reality dictates otherwise. Actually, if you want a real dose of reality, look at how my general thesis is that McMahon is planning to convince innocent children to follow a path that leads only to a life of crime, disappointment, and destruction. This does not bode well for the future because if he doesn’t realize that it’s generally considered bad style to destroy the values, methods, and goals of traditional humanistic study, then he should read one of the many self-help books on the subject. I recommend he buy one with big print and lots of pictures. Maybe then McMahon will grasp the concept that the poisonous wine of elitism had been distilled long before he entered the scene. McMahon is merely the agent decanting the poisonous fluid from its bottle into the jug that is world humanity. I’ll talk a lot more about that later, but first let me finish my general thesis: He says that he should abridge our basic civil liberties because “it’s the right thing to do”. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life.
The foregoing greatly simplifies the real situation but it does indicate in a rough, general way that I know more about faddism than most people. You might even say that I’m an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that my cause is to reveal the truth about McMahon’s views. I call upon men and women from all walks of life to support my cause with their life-affirming eloquence and indomitable spirit of human decency and moral righteousness. Only then will the whole world realize that what McMahon is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly ignorant activity.
McMahon’s revenge fantasies are a masterpiece of featherbrained stoicism, don’t you think? McMahon has values that are antagonistic to a traditional, moral society. Once we realize that, what do we do? The appropriate thing, in my judgment, is to remove the misunderstanding that McMahon has created in the minds of myriad people throughout the world. I say that because I’ve heard of witless things like denominationalism and cameralism. But I’ve also heard of things like nonviolence, higher moralities, and treating all beings as ends in and of themselves — ideas which his ignorant, unthinking, unprincipled brain is too small to understand. I have the following advice for him: If you can’t manage to be grateful for all the things we’ve done for you, at least have a little dignity, don’t whine, and don’t expect to be treated like a fragile doll just because you have a theatrically hypersensitive soul and delusions of entitlement. Even giving McMahon the benefit of the doubt, if I may be so bold, he likes to posture as a guardian of virtue and manners. However, when it comes right down to it, what McMahon is pushing is both jaundiced and irritating. Some day, I want to speak up and speak out against Matt McMahon. But you don’t have to wait for that. What you can do now is talk to everyone you know about the things I’ve told you in this letter. Use every medium available to you. Use the Internet. Use your telephone. Use radio and newspapers. And whatever you do, never be afraid to speak out against the evil that is Matt McMahon.
No worries zazzle, we only pretend that we don’t like Hillary. We know that she can pull 18-wheelers with her teeth, for reals.
WTF does this have to do with the global food crisis?
Its a helluva load of my mind to know that when the shit gets heavy, we can call in the t4toby airstrike.
Hillary could pull 18-wheelers full of food.
Hillary can replace two diesel engine cars, pulling a mile long train full of food and hobos.
Kevin, why are you pretending to be a Hillary supporter?
Hillary can replace two diesel engine cars, pulling a mile long train full of food and hobos.
Exactly! Man has never unleashed a power source as unlimited as Hillary’s sense of entitlement. Plus, she’ll able to afford food.
“Apparently, PA voters didn’t like Obama’s elitism and description of them.”
Ha! That must be why shrank his deficit to Hills all the way up to the vote.
If you’re gonna pull that kind of shit you need an ignorant-er audience.
All that talk about yummy adult beverages got me a’googlin.
You gotta go to http://www.bumwine.com.
Hilarity, particularly the entry about Cisco.
See, that’s why you need ASTM E-1527-05…
We bought a house built on *two* Superfund sites (just down the block from the old W.R. Grace headquarters!) — had to sign an EPA waiver that we wouldn’t put in a well before we could get our mortgage. The difference between our property and any random plot in the Northeast, according to the civil engineer I checked with, is that we have a list of the contaminants we’re sitting atop. And most of the Heartland(tm) isn’t in much better condition… you guys haven’t had a whole 350 years to dump toxic crap into the groundwater but Union Pacific, Armour, ADM, and Monsanto have done their considerable best to make up for that through sheer volume. I grow my tomatoes in containers filled with imported soil, but since Sousal Unit and I were kids at the peak of airborne lead (from gasoline) contamination in America, it’s kinda late for us to worry anyways.
PS: Andrew Gill: If you want to eat up those rice stockpiles, one of those nifty Japanese rice cookers is a VERY good kitchen investment. It doesn’t cut down the cooking time much, but now I get perfect tasty basmati or jasmine every time — no more burned pans and spoiled batches. The rice cooker and a Hamilton ‘folding grill’ (like the Foreman grill but without the slope) get almost as much use as our microwave here in The House of People Who Do Not Cook.
My favorite two things about MD 20/20 were that 1) you could always find a color that went with your outfit, and 2) no matter the flavor, from Red Grape to Banana to Key Lime Pie, it always retained that warm, kerosene aftertaste.
Different flovors of teh Mad Dog? Unpossible I say!!! When I was a boy, there was only one flavor–purple–and you liked it that way.
The flavored girly crap was strictly for the young Republicans. And pelicans, of course.
2 posts in 2 days…if I run out of food I’ll just eat my annoying neighbors, but the Global Snark Shortage is fucking KILLING me.
Oh no, good sir! The miracles of modern chemistry have allowed the fine folks at MD to offer an entire rainbow of vaguely disgusting varieties.
Browse our wine list.
Hillary can replace two diesel engine cars, pulling a mile long train
Wha…?
Huh?
Hillary’s gonna pull a train?? Hell, that’s it, if I can participate she’s got my vote.
What? She’s HOT!!
mikey
Lightening Creek? Purple Rain? W.T.F. I can only imagine what those taste like coming back up.
My liver is very thankful that it developed in a simplier age.
I can only imagine what those taste like coming back up.
Suprisingly similar to the way they tasted going down.
Oh, and Anne Laurie.
Out here in the Silly Valley, it’s Benzene.
All the early fabs from fairchild thru intel dumped benzene into the water. It took local government and the EPA a real long time to discover semiconductor manufacturing. There’s still a couple decades worth of Benzene left to leach into the water table.
When I lived in Morgan Hill they used to send you a report twice a year to prove that the levels of Benzene in the tap water were very high but somewhat less than toxic.
Er, most of the time…
mikey
Winos these days have it too easy. Where has suffering for one’s trade gone? Where is the pride in their craft?
At least the Laphroaig shortage seems to be over.
An end to our long national nightmare.
But our progress is fragile.
I tried stocking up, but my stockpiles kept disappearing…
mikey
Found at the botton of the http://www.ghettowine.com homepage…
Wines of Italy
Complete guide to flavors, regions, history, and types. Free shipping!
http://www.TidemarkPress.com
The Ultimate Source for Everything Wine. Official Site.
http://www.WineEnthusiast.com
Um…I don’t think these advertisers have the demographic worked out real good…
Blepfurn! Spekklifftle dugranut Hillary! Skinchgonall remfraqt shildoke!
him and his wife buried two 500 gallon diesel storage tanks in their backyard.
“Do I know how to show a gal a good time, or what?”
Toby,
I think you mean a Curtiss P-40 Warhawk, rather than a P-51.
The intercooler intake on the P-51 is a little far back for the tatoo you want.
Winos these days have it too easy. Where has suffering for one’s trade gone? Where is the pride in their craft?
Butte has an old Aryan/biker bar called The Blood-Clot that serves something like Jello-shots but they’re made a bit like homemade Napalm, with grain alcohol dissolved in some proprietary starch (I think the owners call it “proprietary” because it’s not really edible) and the whole thing is set aflame before consumption….so I hear.
At least the Laphroaig shortage seems to be over… I tried stocking up, but my stockpiles kept disappearing…
Yah, well, Mikey: One of the survivalist tips I remember from my post-MAD-obsessed childhood is that you should stockpile stuff you’ll eat but aren’t very fond of — like mac’n’cheese, or canned meat, or generic booze. Remember the urban legend that you *could* live on dog kibble and vitamin C, but you sure the fvck wouldn’t raid your emergency supplies of that stuff except in the most dire circumstances?
The alternative would be to hide your stockpile where it would be accessible after the Big One, but not when you got a late-night craving. Which is easier to arrange if you’re living out in the woods, but given your talents and enough gunpowder, one could probably set up one heck of a discouraging tripwire perimeter…
When I lived in Morgan Hill they used to send you a report twice a year to prove that the levels of Benzene in the tap water were very high but somewhat less than toxic. Er, most of the time…
One of the advantages of living in New England is that our tapwater here comes from reservoirs, not groundwater. There’s still a certain amount of toxic contamination, even after the treatment plants do their best, but the supplies renew hella faster and the virtuous evaporation cycle does reduce the chemical levels. And while nurturing vegetables between November and May can be… frustrating… at least the cold & snow kills off a broad swath of insect pests. Or used to. One of the many small global-warming aggravations already impinging upon our privileged lives here is that we have to keep our dogs on heartworm & tick preventatives year-round, which wasn’t true even 20 years ago when I got my first dog.
The alternative would be to hide your stockpile where it would be accessible after the Big One, but not when you got a late-night craving
Oh, babe, I am the WORST possible combination. The perfect storm of cache and stash. I’m mentally disordered, paranoid and suffer from substance and addiction problems. I hide shit that nobody even wants to find. I get up in the morning and my first fifteen minutes is spent going over all my caches, stashes and hides to make sure I still know where they all are.
The flaw, of course, is I don’t know about the ones I’ve forgotten about.
I know where the weapons are, the C4, the Gold, the other IDs and some other high value and desirable items. But to someone like me, this is a combination of an Olympic Sport and Professional Chess. Hiding shit, stashing things, considering access, the exposure potential, the quickest access for the most immediate needs, and the fact that I’m simply fascinated by the game of it, I’ve left stuff in hides and stashes all over seven states.
And this weekend? I’ll probably put something else somewhere and not write it down.
But I AM excited about my new discovery. TrueCrypt. Righteous encryption software for removeable devices that meets the most rigorous specs. So I’m thinking I’ll list all the LatLons for my stashes and put them on a USB drive then I’ll encrypt the USB drive and hide it somewhere.
What could go wrong?
mikey
This machine kills plutocrats.
Des Moines just made the Forbes list as the highest quality drinking water in the country. I didn’t read the article, but I was kind of surprised since corporate animal confinements have polluted the shit out of the rest of the state, there’s pesticide and herbicide runoff, and our water comes from the Racoon River. I think it’s due to our incredibly state-of-the-art water plant; after the floods of 1993 wiped out the plant, they rebuilt it, spending a lot of money to make it great – which I for one am really happy about.
In the early 80s I spent a summer working for the Iowa Toxics Action Project, an offshoot of Iowa Citizen Action Network. We did door to door canvassing, promoting progressive candidates and fund-raising to put a citizen lobbyist at the capitol. We were working to force clean-up of Superfund sites and to pass Superfund legislation. (Remember Superfund?) Anyway, we would go to communities and knock doors and tell the people about the hazards to their community from industrial wastes, this being back when we still had manufacturing in the US of A. Most of the time it impressed people when they heard about the toxins that were in the water, and we raised good money. But for several days, we had to go to Newton and tell the good folks there in that almost 100% company town that the Maytag plant was poisoning the shit out of the water supply. I had doors slammed in my face. They didn’t want to hear it. They were making great money and were loyal. Now, 35 or so years later, Maytag sold out to Whirlpool and left Newton high ‘n dry. (The union killed ’em, was their excuse.) I’m sure all the toxins are still there though, and will be for quite some time to come.
Er, that would be 25 or so years later . . .
“our water comes from the Racoon River.” You say that like it’s a bad thing! Des Moines has always had pretty decent drinking water, IIRC. And Water Works was a pretty cool place to have close to home. But, you’re right, I don’t think I’d be eating any catfish out of the ol’ Racoon.
I read that small stakes gambling is the cure for what ailes Newton…
mikey–
Only users lose drugs…
MileHi, they have NASCAR or some other kind of track there now, I think. Interestingly, about a third of the people in my paralegal classes are from Newton, sent there on some sort of re-education funding. Most of them are doing fine, but I’ve seen a bit of culture clash here and there. A couple of them just weren’t ready for classes taught by Des Moines lawyers like Sytsma and Nugent.
My home town of Ottumwa is trying like hell to get a casino. I doubt casinos are the answer at this point though. People soon won’t have money for teh gambling.
Man, you scared me–I thought for a momemnt you were saying that Waterworks was now a NASCAR track. It’s not, right? Right?!?
NASCAR isn’t nearly as cool or exciting as the dirt short track races.
Poor people and gambling seldom works out well.
No! NO! I’m so sorry for scaring you! Waterworks is sacrosanct. I’m pretty sure if anyone tried to screw with the park, there would be riots. In fact, the park is more gorgeous than ever. I drive through there a lot. One morning it was very foggy, and there were white herons out on one of the islands. I’m one of those people who never has a camera, sadly.
It’s either Newton or Marshalltown that has some sort of race track, but I think it’s Newton.
I don’t know how often you get back to Des Moines, if at all, but the place is changing dramatically, mostly for the better. I’m not feeling nearly the pull to head back out to Seattle that I used to feel. Exciting politics in the Des Moines area. Fantastic bike trails all over the place, downtown living, the riverfront is finally being put to good use, and right now with the forsythia and daffodills in bloom, the Drake relays livening up the neighborhood, and the crab apples and plum just around the corner, I’m pretty pleased with life in Des Moines.
It is hella storming right now though.
I have many wonderful memories in WW’s. A lot of them seem to involve drinking, smoking, fishing, throwing the frisbee around. Odd that.
Yeah, a lot has changed in the 20 or so years I’ve been gone. And, I suspect some thing are just as I left them. The cool storms, the Relays and the Greenwood Tap to name a few.
I know there are a good many folks who have moved back and are completely happy and content.
Well, except for the State Fair line-up.
As to that, I’m one of those people who stays just as far away from the Fair as possible. :-Q I don’t dig heat, sweaty crowds, or over-priced Budweiser.
Yes, the Greenwood is still there. Carl’s is going strong in Sherman Hill – and SH would wow you too, it’s beautiful – I drove by Carl’s earlier tonight and they had a hell of a crowd at 6 o’clock, all loud, rowdy Democrats I’m sure. The Alpine is going strong. Sometimes on a hot summer night I’ll walk down there for a beer or three. Staggering up the 31st street hill can be challenging.
The fact is, if you are worried about food becoming more expensive, there is a cure:
WORK HARDER.
That is not an insult, it is an encouragement, the kind that keeps our country great. If you do not think we have the greatest country in the world, I encourage you to either shut up or swim to Cuba.
You can stick your Mad Dog 20-20, the only true pissheads drink is Buckfast Tonic Wine, better known in the homeland as ‘Buckie’. A more truly evil drink I have yet to find. I have it on good authority that ‘The Flying Rodent’ drinks a bottle every night before he posts.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=buckfast
If you want to eat up those rice stockpiles, one of those nifty Japanese rice cookers is a VERY good kitchen investment. It doesn’t cut down the cooking time much, but now I get perfect tasty basmati or jasmine every time — no more burned pans and spoiled batches.
Oh, yes.
Actually, I invested in one of those a while back, and that is exactly what convinced me to start cooking rice again.
Dump all the ingredients together and throw it in the microwave, and you’re free to do whatever you want while it cooks.
Sousal Unit
That was intentional, right, Anne-Laurie?
the only true pissheads drink is Buckfast Tonic Wine, better known in the homeland as ‘Buckie’. A more truly evil drink I have yet to find.
Then it is time you benighted Caledonians were introduced to Stones Green Ginger Wine. Equal proportions of cooking whisky and Stones Green Ginger makes Smut a happy chappy.
Don’t worry: I’m a singin’ hobo, not a stabbin’ hobo.
(Clears throat)
Nothin’ beats the hobo life, stabbin’ folks with my hobo knife!
I am so fucking in love with mikey right this minute. Our joint compulsive housekeeping skills would be so damned awesome the neighbors wouldn’t stop to call the cops till they were fifty miles away.
Justme-
I strafe corrected.