It’s Going to Come Down to Guam
The race for the Democratic nomination looks like it’s going to keep going to the bitter end. I’ve decided to look on the bright side and just enjoy it. Rather than pull our hair out in frustration, let’s look at positives:
– We have two very strong candidates for president
– Contrary to partisan belief, neither is running a terrible campaign – both are running very strong campaigns
– Voters in states that never get to influence the nomination process are getting to do just that – that means huge numbers of newly registered Democrats and positive implications for down-ticket races in November
– We could actually see American politicians pour millions of dollars into the economies of Puerto Rico and Guam before this is through, and how is that a bad thing?
Cue freepers’ heads exploding when chyrons of Puerto Rico and Guam voting for American Presidential candidates hit their Fox News crawl.
On the downside–we only get more smug and condesending with each passing day.
If you don’t love Hillary it is because you are: a) anti-feminist b) scared of strong women and c) too stupid to matter
To further Pollyanna this situation, we have two candidates all over the news saying we have to stop the war, give everyone health care, rebuild our industrial sector and infrastructure, make education more accessible…
They get a lot more ink & electrons than McCain, as far as I can see. The exposure for these progressive ideas is of a level I haven’t seen, since, well, ever.
Also, both are infinitely better than the Panamanian coprolite.
So what’s the traditional popular low-rent dish of Guam and why doesn’t Obama like it?
American politicians already do pour millions of dollars into the economies of Puerto Rico and Guam. Oh, wait, you mean aside from the sex industry?
Do we still own Guam?
Fun trivia: the drinking age in Puerto Rico is 18. Apparently, they felt the increase in tourism would more then offset the transportation funding the Feds offered all states if they increased the age to 21.
Well, unless someone knows something new, Clinton basically can’t win unless they bust in on Obama in bed with a 8 year old boy, 13 newts, and a five gallon bucket of jiffy pop, so I’m not sure this is reeeaaally a good thing to be dragging on. The most important thing that’s come out of this process is a highlight of how deeply flawed the current primary system is; this shit started, when, last December? Is there any good reason why they can’t hold primaries is most (if not all) states in, say, a week?
Having said that, those Phoenix lights thing this week are so totally bogus. I tried to go into it with an open mind, but goddamn.
Not worried about McCain’s national poll standing, either. He’s been given a fairly free pass now. Once his hodge-podge of economic and foreign policy ignorance comes to light, his already-tepid support (seriously, 72% in an uncontested election?) will begin to erode.
Just look at his recent gaffes. Saying that the economy is A-OK in front of a closing factory, and then telling the last of the workers that they can still get lucky. Creating a situation wherein no aid would be given to Israel. Continually saying “Al-Qaida in Iran,” then expecting his press lackeys to explain it away as a one-time screwup. Acting like he supports a GI Bill, then refusing to sign it. Etc., etc. Straight Talk(TM) or not, he’s playing himself like a doddering old fool. He won’t have staying power over the summer.
Yeah, The Corner and ClownHall don’t/won’t support Obama or Hillary against McCain. Not news. The average voter’s going to see McCain stammer and stammer and check out. Bush got away with that during Pax Americana ’00, but it won’t fly now.
Serious, D.N. I’d say there’s about a zero percent chance McCain doesn’t end up looking like Pretzel-Bush after the first debate, no matter how much the press and moderators try to cover his lame ass.
Some Guam food, stolen from cooks.com:
Seems pretty tasty to me.
I’m hoping that Obama comes out of this mutated into a resistant strain of Democratic nominee, able to withstand GOP assaults because he will have faced them throughout the primary campaign. MRDB: McCain-Resistant Democratoccus Barackobama
Oh, and the sauce:
D.N.–
You forgot him saying that our economic problems were all in our heads and that we all just needed to get out there and get a 2nd job.
The man has lived in bubble his whole life (free housing, free medical care, etc.) and has no earthly idea what life is like for real people.
I can’t wait to watch J. Sydney McSame III blow a gasket in the debates.
Seems pretty tasty to me.
There’s nothing in that recipe that came out of a box or a jar. I don’t see any artificial sweeteners or preservatives or stablizers. Where’s the polysorbate 80, for god’s sake!
Seems pretty ELITIST to me.
Hell, I don’t even know what to call ’em. The Guamish? Guammi Bears? Guambats?
I for one and sick and tired of this rigged primary process, where the wily Guamians (Guamites?) get to pick our nominee just because they scheduled their primary last. Damned Kelaguen-eating elitists!
Guammi Bears?
You win the thread.
McDonalds in Guam sells hot rice with spam for breakfast. I’ll bet Obama turns up his purty little nose at that. Then again, he was born in Hawaii.
Obama: “It’s easy to get caught up in the distractions and the silliness and the tit-for-tat that consumes our politics, the bickering that none of us are entirely immune to, and it trivializes the profound issues: two wars, an economy in recession, a planet in peril, issues that confront our nation. That kind of politics is not why we are here tonight. It’s not why I’m here, and it’s not why you’re here.”
I hope they both remember that going forward.
Plate lunch and shave ice for Barack!
This won’t last much longer. As noted, the math does not favour Hillary and that’s starting to get some media play. Hillary may want to take the fight to the convention (it’s her one remaining option) but I doubt most superdelegates want such a thing.
Really she’s screwed. If she takes the high road and doesn’t attack Obama, it won’t change anything. On the other hand, her current strategy seems to be backfiring as Obama has been adding far more superdelegates to his list of supporters recently than she has.
It will be decided by early June at the latest. And while another month and a bit of this insanity helps McCain in that it gives him a largely free ride, it won’t change his shortcommings as a candidate either: He’s wrong on the war and wrong on the economy, yet his campaign consists of maintaining that he’s right on both.
Alright, that sounds delicious, I’m going to try that recipe even if it didn’t come from some Commie Mexican country.
didn’t = did. Stupid fat fingers, need a special typing wand.
Updated math: Clinton must now win 71% of the remaining primary votes to pull even in pledged delegates. After she loses North Carolina, that number will likely exceed 80%.
It’s over. She just needs to realize it.
“Then again, he was born in Hawaii.”
He probably eats Spam musubi, like all those elitists from Hawaii.
i’d like to see these two focus more on what’s wrong with McCain than each other. Like his corporate tax break plan and other Bush-policies.
Some guy said:
Yeah, good thing Bush’s execrable, 30-second-pause debate skills allowed Kerry to crush him in the last election.
“Guamanian,” sez Wikipedia.
J.G. Ballard: The transliterated pudenda of Ralph Nader
Guammi Bears?
You win the thread.
Very funny, wise guys.
The thing that made the PA primary so unbearable (for me anyway) was that it seemed like it would just never arrive. It’ll be a good change that the rest of the primaries are in fairly quick succession.
I will not be baited.
Bush had the advantages of
1) Being the incumbent in a nation that wasn’t entirely unhappy
2) Having the Iraq war only be 1.5 years old
3) Having an OK economy
4) Having an opponent without much…pizzazz
5) Having an opponent who almost steadfastly refused to go on the attack
Numbers 1-5 for McCain in 2008:
1) Would continue unpopular president’s policies in a very unhappy nation
2) Iraq war now 5 years old
3) Faltering economy; shows no signs of knowing what it’ll take to fix it
4) Will either face a feisty debator or a masterful orator, both of whom do miles better than My friends, my friends, my friendzzzzzzzzzz, and both of whom will
5) Blast his ass for all it’s worth on the war, the economy, Bush, etc.
From CNN.com:
Seriously? Does she trust everyone on the teevee, or just the super-serious news pundits? I can only imagine what that Cabinet would look like.
She’ll get smoked in NC, so no tide turning there.
D.N. Nation-
Anyone sane who watched the second Bush/Kerry debate would have to conclude that Bush was brain-damaged, OK economy or not. And yet…
McCain’s advantage lies in a press corps that fucking buys him donuts, as well as a not inconsiderable number of Democrats who appear to be ready to vote for him if their candidate doesn’t win the Dem primary. Does he need much else?
The fact is, I’ve been neglecting my duties around here, and this blog could use a good rogering from me.
I for one am not terribly concerned about an extended primary. Sure, I wish it were less, ah, vitriolic, but I think the party-building that’s being done in all 50 states vastly outweighs the negatives. My 2 cents, anyway…
as well as a not inconsiderable number of Democrats who appear to be ready to vote for him if their candidate doesn’t win the Dem primary
These people, much like elves, gremlins and Eskimos, don’t exist.
“…elves, gremlins and Eskimos, don’t exist.”
Hey! Hold on there.
Some Guy said,
April 23, 2008 at 17:59
Serious, D.N. I’d say there’s about a zero percent chance McCain doesn’t end up looking like Pretzel-Bush after the first debate, no matter how much the press and moderators try to cover his lame ass.
After the first debate:
“McSame did better than expected” (no matter how lame he really was).
Shame on Obama Hussein for picking on the nice old war hero.
Obama Hussein sighed too much and didn’t wear a flag pin and is an effete elitist snob as well as a scary black mooslim terrorist.
This will be followed by round after round of David Brooks sniffing David Broder’s farts and pronouncing them exquisite, said favor being returned in exponential fashion by the rest of the denizens of Versailles by the Potomac.
It’s the only play they know.
– We could actually see American politicians pour millions of dollars into the economies of Puerto Rico and Guam before this is through, and how is that a bad thing?
This is a Good Thing. I’ve pretty much tuned out the Democratic primary campaign, but I’ll tune back in during the last two weeks of May. I want to see and hear Clinton try to woo Borcua voters by wearing guayaberas and speaking mangled Spanish. This, too, will be a Good Thing.
Well, in order for us to pour money into our colonies, we need to travel there.
Vieques is beautiful. Let’s go hit the beaches.
I had to turn the radio off in embarrassment when Hillary came marching out to the strains of “I won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty.
(yeah, not sure if that’s the proper song title, but you know what I mean).
Who in the blazes name comes up with smary crap like that?
Obama is taller … cooler … younger … smarter …
On the other hand, it’s always risky to ignore the words of Mr Mencken: “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.”
Why do I even bother to get out of bed? To come to America’s Snottiest Website to find…”aw hell, enough of the hillary bashing?”
And, no profanity, 35 fucking comments in! Let’s get with the program people!
The question now is, does HRC (hmm, I just realized HRC is also an organization that has pissed me off at least in part by their cozying up to the enemy) go even more negative in a desperate end-game ploy? Did anyone notice the NYT editorial lambasting her for her Rovian tactics, noting that they once endorsed her? Will she continue to piss in the fountain, poison the well, shit in the kettle, fling feces in the house…
ARARGHH she tasks me!
C’mon give me some of that old time Hillary-bashing Clinton-trashing!
Will she continue to piss in the fountain, poison the well, shit in the kettle, fling feces in the house…
Fuckin’ A.she will.
Hillary bashing lost a lot of its appeal once I met Steve To The Future or whatever the fuck his name is.
Sorry, D.,
It might just come down to Montana and South Dakota.
May 3: Guam
May 6: Indiana and North Carolina
May 13: West Virginia
May 20: Kentucky and Oregon
June 1: Puerto Rico
June 3: Montana and South Dakota
Don’t know if that is better or worse than it coming down to PR…
Gee I wish I’d been able to participate in this primary…but my state party decided our votes weren’t worth anything, and so we had a meaningless primary, and evey day I get to read some jackass writing about how this is somehow my fault for living in Michigan. Thanks, assholes.
Jeebus Gawd please let this fuckin’ nomination travesty END already!
DB – but isn’t Guam like, a month ahead of us because of the whatsy, the International Date thingy? So like, theyre vote wont’ be counted until next decembre or something?
Clinton Wednesday argued the “tide is turning” as a result of her victory Pennsylvania. “I won that double-digit victory that everybody on TV said I had to win…
I suppose that, technically, 9.4 is a double digit number (54.7/45.3 at the NYT right now with 99% reporting). It has a ‘9’ and it has a ‘4’. That’s definitely two numbers.
My candidate sux. But that fucking old-ass man scares the shit out of me.
Hillary has poor taste in advisers. Obama comes off as elite. McCain will most likely try to start a nuclear war.
Hillary is a calculating Inside-the-beltway politician through and through. Obama hails from the most corrupt political scene outside of the beltway. McCain is dangerously deluded.
How can people say the will vote for McCain, or even sit out, if their candidate doesn’t get the nomination?
g(uammi)bear said,
April 23, 2008 at 19:42
I suppose that, technically, 9.4 is a double digit number (54.7/45.3 at the NYT right now with 99% reporting). It has a ‘9? and it has a ‘4?. That’s definitely two numbers.
You’re right…even better, she could state that she won a triple-character victory, and count the decimal point too! She should really hire us, we could turn this crap campaign around.
DB – but isn’t Guam like, a month ahead of us because of the whatsy, the International Date thingy? So like, theyre vote wont’ be counted until next decembre or something?
Guam uses the metric calendar like they do in Europe, so technically their primary is 2.43 centisolars from the start of the annum, which translates into…
Crap, I have to get to a meeting. You can Google it.
“Contrary to popular belief”?
Clinton has run a Rovian campaign. That may be a “strong campaign” in your eyes, but is nothing more than sleaze in mine.
For some reason, the possibility of hearing a Media Narrative(TM) on Guam makes me giggle.
(“How do you relate to Joe Guammi Bear? Have you ever tried kelaguen?
Do you wear a lapel pin while making finadene sauce? Is it the American flag or the Guam flag? Both?”)
I can’t wait to be told what to think by our crack* press corps! Yay!
* That is to say, our press corps on crack.
this blog could use a good rogering from me.
The fact is, this particular usage never fails to crack me up.
Carry on.
mikey
Oh, and memo to Ms. Clinton.
They primaries ended last month. You just look like an angry, petulant spoiled child throwing a tantrum ’cause you didn’t get a pony for your birthday.
Seriously.
Hang it up before it gets any worse…
Methinkst I jumped the gun earlier…Mikey wins the thread, simply by virtue of being Mikey.
Just had an interesting conversation in the lobby with a 30-something woman who lives in the building. The Oregonian headline: “Clinton keeps race alive” or some such shit. She insists “they are saying” that Obama is too much of an unknown so the Clinton supporters are now coming out in huge numbers. “That’s why she won PA.”
I sed, I grew up in north central PA (whether I actually “grew up” is beside the point so piss off) and, until 18 months ago, lived in PA for the last twenty years. The reason she won PA, I said, is because a whole lot of people there wouldn’t vote for a nigger come hell or high water.
Got to love the media (how does one tell whether they are or aren’t on crack?) for framing the narrative: “Obama doesn’t do well with working class whites.” “Obama won these districts but there’s lots of black votes there.”
So I’m rambling now, I know. Beats the hell out of working
Oh – I meant to say what a crock of chit that headline is. The race is over; the only she’s keeping alive is the anger machine.
What is your evidence that hillary clinton is running a “very strong campaign”?
If she had run even a half-way decent campaign up till this point, she would have been the nominee MONTHS ago. Obama, on the other hand, is running like Secretariat. Stuff that would crush lesser campaigns is rolling off his back.
What is your evidence that hillary clinton is running a “very strong campaign”?
The fact that it can pull 18-wheelers with its teeth like Jack LaLanne.
What is your evidence that hillary clinton is running a “very strong campaign”?
The fact that half a drop of it in the public water supply can sicken an entire city.
I stand corrected. Except not really.
Who in the blazes name comes up with smary crap like that?
Well, there is always Diane Wilkerson, the MA state senator from Roxbury. Despite being something of an institution, she nearly lost a challenge from the left in 2006, partly because she didn’t bother to gather enough signatures to be listed on the ballot. She was also embroiled in financial scandals, was being investigated for perjury in her nephew’s manslaughter case, and called the BPD a bunch of “cokehead cops”.
But on election night she could still celebrated by having a campaign worker dump a box of balloons over her head to the sound of Elton John’s “I’m Still Standing”
Then she had to wait a few days while they finished the count and then the recount. But at long last, victory was hers!
What is your evidence that hillary clinton is running a “very strong campaign”?
The stench is palpable nationwide.
The fact that half a drop of it in the public water supply can sicken an entire city.
gbear – I bow to you, sir.
It might seem endless, but, um, Clinton’s flat broke … & thanks to old-school smear-tactics, & brilliant choices like getting the guy from fucking BURSTON-MARSTELLAR (the lovely PR folks who painted a happy-face on both Bhopal & the Exxon Valdez disaster) to run her circus, she smells like FAIL, which doesn’t get the fatcats lining up to sign checks – if she’s going to ignore the obvious math & keep going with the family fortune, she’ll look like a full-on lunatic. I doubt she’ll have any stomach to go on once her own people are telling her it’s over.
If she does anyway? Well, I’ve seen John “Give Me The Nuclear Football” McCain expressing concern that his campaign is getting sideswiped by the simple reality that he has had no clear opponent. Hey, it MUST be true, it was on the Interwebs!
Much of the GOP basically loathing the guy doesn’t hurt either – they just didn’t have any non-pathetic candidates to run with in 2007, & bringing in an outsider would’ve been an overt admission of their cultural bankruptcy.
I think the 2008 Debates could be the most lopsided ever.
(Think “Muhammed Ali versus A 2-Day-Old Kitten”)
OneMadClown, your vision of Hillary pulling a truck with her teeth provided teh perfect inspiration. Great image, and so close to reality.
The pander-to-the-LCD, race-baiting thing is going well.
Then we plant a few Why-is-Obama-still-running? narratives in the media. Slip some offshore cash to the supers. Get rid of that effete motherfucker.
Then I release my photos of Cindy rogering That Awful Woman™ with a strap-on while Bill smokes a cigar and Pappy shoots video.
Bingo-bango. Constitutional Crisis. The Supremes install Dick Cheney and Albeto Gonzales.
Mission Accomplished!
The pander-to-the-LCD, race-baiting thing is going well.
Then we plant a few Why-is-Obama-still-running? narratives in the media. Slip some offshore cash to the supers. Get rid of that effete motherfucker.
Then I release my photos of Cindy rogering That Awful Woman™ with a strap-on while Bill smokes a cigar and Pappy shoots video.
Bingo-bango. Constitutional Crisis. The Supremes install Dick Cheney and Albeto Gonzales.
Mission Accomplished!
I am flabbergasted…if this wasn’t an actual plan out of Karl Rove’s Sparkle Pony Trapper Keeper of Evil, than its the damned finest facsimile of that gelatinous albino’s twisted thought processes I have ever seen.
This will be followed by round after round of David Brooks sniffing David Broder’s farts and pronouncing them exquisite, said favor being returned in exponential fashion by the rest of the denizens of Versailles by the Potomac.
I’ve been trying to articulate the state of the current Washington Press Corps for some time now. Thank you, ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© , for providing a sucinct summary.
Again, I stand at the alter mouth agape trying to process what I’m reading. The “race” has long since been over. Clinton cannot win unless Obama gets caught in some huge scandal – and even that scenerio is irrelevant on its face. If Clinton concedes today and a picture of Obama screwing a goat surfaces tomorrow, who is ready to accept the nomination anyway? If you answered Kucinich try again.
Clinton staying in the race at this point serves John McCain and the Republican Party quite well. It is devastating for the Democratic Party. She seems determined to take this to the convention floor which will leave Obama 10 weeks to mount his general election campaign. In the meantime, McCain continues to get a mostly free pass and Obama, like it or not the Democratic nominee, keeps getting hammered by a Democratic opponent and wasting money and other resources fighting a Democratic opponent rather than the effin’ Republican.
This Clinton birthright to the nomination thing is going to destroy the Democratic Party. Sorry, she entered the race with every advantage and went on to lose. There is no legal requirement she drop out, but her staying in the race now can only help the Republican Party. If she in any way shape or form wants to end the madness of the last 8 years she should concede. If she wants to ensure a McCain victory she should stay in.
Wow, aren’t we the congratualtory bunch here today. Good job everybody! Let’s try to bring up the profanity a bit for PeeJ though. Damn!
Sadly, No! quite simply has teh best commenters on the intertoobz, period. As a rule, this is the only site where I’m as happy to read the comments as I am the blog posts. I have platonic man-crushes on all of you.
Good night, you princes of Snark, you kings of Teh Sadly.
and for profanity’s sake — fuckity fuck fuck fuckeroo.
While we are patting backs and thumping shoulders I just want to pull something from the last thread
to illustrate that Smut Clyde really doesn’t get the credit that he is due.
Your post is most excellent, gbear, its brevity the soul of wit, to quote the Bard.
oh.. and er…. poppycock.
To quote Yello:
Ohhh yeahhhhhh.
Good one, K. Rove. As for the follow up (gelatinous albino), that was teh funny too.
I think ALL debates, from now on, should involve pulling an 18 wheeler with one’s teeth…. Including the moderators, too, of course. I think that particular exercise might be more illuminating than what we have witnessed lately (or not, since I refuse to watch political debates). We may not get someone who knows beans about the economy or what’s the difference between Shia and Sunni, but I tell ya, a president elected like that could scare the bejesus out of anyone just by threatening to bit them.
Sort of like Jaws whatever really bad Roger Moore 007 flick that was.
My inquiries, necessarily hasty and perfunctory as I write this post to meet a deadline, have elicited a wealth of information about Barack Obama. Wait! Before you dismiss me as splenetic, hear me out. If you were to ask him, he’d say that he doesn’t remember destroying our moral fiber. Not only does Obama sincerely have a very selective memory, but he is an inspiration to frightful riffraff everywhere. They panegyrize Obama’s crusade to consign our traditional values to the rubbish heap of materialism and, more importantly, they don’t realize that Obama contends that uncompanionable, superficial deadheads and headlong schizophrenics should rule this country and that, therefore, the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly. This bizarre pattern of thinking leads to strange conclusions. For example, it convinces soporific casuists (as distinct from the dour smart alecks who prefer to chirrup while hopping from cloud to cloud in Nephelococcygia) that Obama has the authority to issue licenses for practicing charlatanism. In reality, contrariwise, once people obtain the critical skills that enable them to think and reflect and speculate independently, they’ll realize that Obama has never been a big fan of freedom of speech. He supports pogroms on speech, thought, academic license, scientific perspective, journalistic integrity, and any other form of expression that gives people the freedom to state that Obama must have recently made a huge withdrawal from the First National Bank of Lies. How else could he manage to tell us that doing the fashionable thing is more important than life or liberty?
So Obama thinks that the Earth is flat? Interesting viewpoint. Here’s another: We find among narrow and uneducated minds the belief that all it takes to start a rabbit farm is a magician’s magic hat. This belief is due to a basic confusion that can be cleared up simply by stating that Obama has two imperatives. The first is to create a new fundamentalism based not on religion but on an orthodoxy of larrikinism. The second imperative is to exert more and more control over other individuals.
I want to thank Obama for his beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments). They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how childish Obama can be. He says he’s going to leave helpless citizens afraid in the streets, in their jobs, and even in their homes by the end of the decade. Good old Obama. He just loves to open his mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how disrespectful they sound. There is no defense against ridicule. And that’s the honest truth.
OK, everyone, party’s over. Back to the trenches.
We’ve had a good laugh tonight, but we’ve also talked about something very serious. Something that affects each and every one of us. I am talking, of course, about physician-assisted cannibalism. If you, or someone you love has been eaten by cannibals, please call our toll-free number at
1-800-DOC-EATS
once again, that number is
1-800-DOC-EATS
Thank you, and good night.
All a candidate has to say to win Guam is, “And I pledge to eradicate all the brown tree snakes!”
Oh, Matt. You had me at “perfuctory.”
::sigh:::
::faire la moue::
Speaking of changing the subject, Yummmm! Smoked herring for lunch! Smoked herring sammich!
I’ll skip the dessert – don’t like pie.
PS – piss cunt cock shit motherfucker cocksucker teat
Can you deal with that sort of truth, liberals? That’s what the country wants to know. So far, the answer is “no.”
Do you answer every question with a lie, Matt? So far, the answer is “yes.”
We could run this election worldwide! Think about it: Osama bin Laden, sitting in a tent in Pakistan, could call a 900 number and vote for his favorite opponent!
Ya know, with all the power Cheney has bestowed upon the VP’s office(its own branch) I think we should agitate for the loser in the general election being named to the office.
Neither party really ever out of power!
VP could vetoteh Prez with Congress’ help.
Prez could demand VP’s resignation with Congressional approval.
Election season would never end.
Matt McMahon
Wow. And people have the nerve to call me a pedagogic popinjay preening his penneacities!
Dude, you’re confusing only yourself by indulging your inner thesaurus.
I knew Bill Buckley. I worked with Bill Buckley. Bill Buckley was a friend of mine.
You, sir, bear no resemblance to him, apart from your dead morality and dearth of moral fibre.
What sort of truth does the country want to know if we can deal with? Is this The Truth sort of truth (ie nothing like the truth)? Anyway, since you’re speaking to (and for) the country, can you ask it to bring my lawnmower back.
Fucking lawnmower thieving nation. “I just need it for the weekend” my ass.
Do you answer every question with a lie, Matt? So far, the answer is “yes.”
Now, now. It’s entirely possible that Matt really does like pie.
What people in this country want to know is how large a cannon it would take to shoot any given CEO beyond earth orbit.
Meanwhile, in other “news” Pat Buchanan has his panties in a knot because Justice Stevens said it is time to reconsider the “justification for the death penalty itself.” Court decisions and state actions that justify it are but “the product of habit and inattention rather than an acceptable and deliberative process.”
OMFG he’s going all leftist and will make us stop killing people! So I was thinking hey, isn’t he Catholic? A quick trip to Wikipedia and what do I find:
Served up for your pleasure.
Mrs. Edwards is the only high profile Dem taking on McCain. Imagine His responses to her comments multiplied x10
Hey! finally got to post a comment- its been a week or more. Cool.
PeeJ, that made my afternoon
Contrary to partisan belief, neither is running a terrible campaign – both are running very strong campaigns
Ooookay. You run with that. One candidate had the dough, the name recognition, the fundraising machine, and the endorsements from old timey party bosses. And despite all that, managed to lose quite handily to a minority no one outside of Illinois had heard of before 2004.
At this point, the only question is how strong that campaign was – was it as strong as Ralph Fiennes’ flying skills in The English Patient or merely as strong as the Black Knight’s swordfighting abilities in The Holy Grail?
You, sir, bear no resemblance to him, apart from your dead morality and dearth of moral fibre.
Also the scavenger-attracting smell.
NobodySpecial – I’m afraid you just don’t get it. We are not allowed to question St. Clinton.
Jesus, how many times need it be pointed out?
Gosh, I hope these fucking primaries never end. I’ll have to go back to reading Kirk vs. Picard fights to recapture this.
I think the 2008 Debates could be the most lopsided ever.
(Think “Muhammed Ali versus A 2-Day-Old Kitten”)
That’s a problem, actually, because as much as the public likes Muhammad Ali, they will go ballistic if he pummels the kitten. And then, in a pique, they will go out and vote the kitten into the presidency.
I can haz hope?
Great. Then we’ll have President Pussy. Again.
er, that is,…..
I know you want me, PeeJ.
::wink::
I can haz waflz in peace?
Matt doesn’t have shit. that’s straight from the Complaint Generator. The parody troll is getting lazy.
But, as is my way, I will dialectize away.
How’s your jive, ‘Matt’?:
Mah’ inquiries, necessarily hasty and puh’functo’y as ah’ scribble dis post t’meet some wastedline, gots elicited some weald uh info’mashun about Barack Obama. WORD! Wait! Right on! Befo’e ya’ dismiss me as splenetic, hear me out. Man! If ya’ wuz t’ax’ him, he’d say dat he duzn’t rememba’ destroyin’ our mo’al fiber. Ah be baaad… Not only duz Obama sincerely gots some very selective memo’y, but he be an inspirashun t’frightful riffraff everywhere. Dey panegyrize Obama’s crusade t’consign our tradishunal values t’de rubbish heap uh materialism and, mo’e impo’tantly, dey don’t realize dat Obama contends dat uncompanionable, supuh’ficial wastedhaids and haidlong schizophrenics should rule dis country and dat, derefo’e, de most valuable skill one kin gots be to be able t’lie convincin’ly. Slap mah fro! Dis bizarre pattern uh dinkin’ leads t’funky conclusions. Fo’ ‘esample, it convinces sopo’ific casuists (as distinct fum de dour smart alecks who prefa’ to chirrup while hoppin’ fum cloud t’cloud in Nephelococcygia) dat Obama gots de audo’ity t’issue licenses fo’ practicin’ charlatanism. WORD! In reality, contrariwise, once sucka’s obtain de critical skills dat enable dem t’dink and reflect and speculate independently, dey’ll realize dat Obama gots neva’ been some big fan uh freedom uh speech. Lop some boogie. He suppo’ts pogroms on speech, dought, academic license, scientific puh’spective, journalistic integrity, and any oda’ fo’m uh ‘spression dat gives sucka’s de freedom t’state dat Obama gots’ta have recently made some huge widdrawal fum de Fust Nashunal Bank uh Lies. How else could he manage t’tell us dat hangin’ de fashionable doodad be mo’e impo’tant dan life o’ liberty? So’s Obama dinks dat da damn Eard be flat? Interestin’ viewpoint. Man! Here’s anoder, dig dis: We find among narrow and uneducated minds de belief dat all it snatch’d t’start some rabbit farm be a magician’s magic hat. Man! Dis belief be due t’a basic confusion dat kin be cleared down simply by statin’ dat Obama gots two impuh’tives. De fust be to create some new fundamentalism based not on religion but on an o’dodoxy uh larrikinism. WORD! De second impuh’tive be to ‘esert mo’e and mo’e control upside oda’ individuals. I wanna dank Obama fo’ his beliefs (as ah’ would certainly not call dem logically reasoned arguments). Dey gimme an ‘sellent oppo’tunity t’illustrate plum how childish Obama kin be. He says he’s goin’ t’leave helpless citizens afraid in de streets, in deir jobs, and even in deir cribs by de end uh de decade. Good old Obama. WORD! He plum loves t’jimmey his moud and let all kinds uh din’s mosey on down out widout listenin’ t’how disrespectful dey sound. Dere be no defense against ridicule. And dat’s de honest trud.
Anyone know where I can get a Guam flag pin? Vote kitten ’08!
10 to 12 med. hot peppers (can use Jalapeno peppers)
1/3 c. soy sauce
1/2 c. lemon juice
1/2 c. chopped onions
What, no garlic?
1 lb. shrimp, boiled and cleaned, tail removed
Speaking of shrimp, it turns out that a good chunk of ours comes from child slaves in torture-rape factories.
Grocery shopping then:
{too unethical} – – – – – range of food choices – – – – {too expensive}
and now:
{too unethical {{too unethical, expensive}} too expensive}
That’s a problem, actually, because as much as the public likes Muhammad Ali, they will go ballistic if he pummels the kitten. And then, in a pique, they will go out and vote the kitten into the presidency.
Pardon my counterintuitivity.
Obama could take a page from Lieberman’s playbook and politely help McCain when he stumbles:
-“I think the Senator meant to say “bombs” there, I don’t think he really advocates dropping “judges” on Iraq, but that’s fine, we knew what he meant. Somebody get a towel, ok?”
Can someone please translate whatever message Mr. Matt McMahon is trying to convey into something that I might better be able to understand, like Yiddish or that Bushman clicking language? As it stands, I have no idea whether Matt is seriously claiming that Barrack Obama heads up the international drug cartel or if it’s simply the case that as long as I live and breathe, I will strive to keep the faith. Before I start, however, I should state that to understand what his particularly uppity form of vigilantism has encompassed as a movement and as a system of rule, we have to look at its historical context and development as a form of sullen politics that first arose in early twentieth-century Europe in response to rapid social upheaval, the devastation of World War I, and the Bolshevik Revolution. He swears that our unalienable rights are merely privileges that he can dole out or retract. Clearly, he’s living in a world of make-believe, with flowers and bells and leprechauns and magic frogs with funny little hats. Back in the real world, there is indeed a dysfunctional dimension to Matt’s goals. Or, if “dysfunctional” is too narrow of a term, perhaps you’d prefer “wayward”. In any case, exhibitionism is dangerous. Matt’s temperamental version of it is doubly so. Anyway, that’s it for this letter. Let Mr. Matt McMahon read it and weep.
Not only does Obama sincerely have a very selective memory, but he is an inspiration to frightful riffraff everywhere. They panegyrize Obama’s crusade to consign our traditional values to the rubbish heap of materialism and, more importantly, they don’t realize that Obama contends that uncompanionable, superficial deadheads and headlong schizophrenics should rule this country and that, therefore, the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly.
Lad, have you, by any chance, suffered a pelican bite recently?
People generally have strong views about Sadly, No! First, the misinformation: Sadly, No! suggests that anyone who dares to stand uncompromised in a world that’s on the brink of Sadly, No!-induced disaster can expect to suffer hair loss and tooth decay as a result. Where the heck did Sadly, No! come up with that? The answer is obvious if you understand that it would be nugatory to discuss Sadly, No!’s philippics without first mentioning that beer-guzzling pamphleteers can’t even agree among themselves as to how voluble Sadly, No! is. Am I being too harsh for writing that? Maybe I am, but that’s really the only way you can push a point through to Sadly, No!
Sadly, No! hates people who have huge supplies of the things it lacks. What it lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that Sadly, No! has written volumes about how truth is merely a social construct. Don’t believe a word of it, though. The truth is that if authoritarianism were an Olympic sport, it would clinch the gold medal. I could be wrong about any or all of this, but at the moment, the above fits what I know of history, people, and current conditions. If anyone sees anything wrong or has some new facts or theories on this, I’d love to hear about them.
Pedestrian:
I think that Guam is probably pro-child-slavery-leaning, that is just central to Guam’s point.
Also, Guam and Hawaii are both big-time SPAM consumers. The McDonalds restaurants in Hawaii sell eggs, rice and SPAM as well as Portuguese Sausage. They also sell saimin, and a variety of tropical fruit themed pies (Banana, haupia, and peach-mango as well as taro)
http://www.mrcheapstuff.com/deals/2007/08/unique-mcdonalds-food-items-in-hawaii/
All this should be central to somebody’s point.
The fact is that Hillary is so desperate to be president she will do anything to torpedo Obama’s chances in November.
Think about it.
If Obama is elected president Hillary can forget about ever having another shot.
After eight years of non-stop butt-rogering by the Bush administration, four years of Obamamania is going to seem like paradise.
So he gets four more years, and then HIllary is up against an incumbent VP at the age of 68. See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.
On the other hand, if Obama is so damaged by November that McSame is elected (FSM forbid), the next four years will be so traumatic that if he survives until 2012 he will be thrown out by torch-bearing mobs.
And who will ride in to save the day? Hillary! Because as we’ve seen from the past two elections defeated Democrats don’t have much of a shelf life as presidential contenders. But those who don’t make it to the party always have another shot.
She’s perfectly willing to destroy the party and the country to get her way.
This has to end now.
“I have platonic man-crushes on all of you.”
Well, hello sailor!
All a candidate has to say to win Guam is, “And I pledge to eradicate all the brown tree snakes!”
But think of the swiftboating 527 ads! “The Demon-crat candidate has pledged to *eradicate* the Republican Party. How can we in good conscience allow someone who endorses murdering his political opponents to assume the leadership of the Greatest Nation on Earth(tm)? Unless, of course, that person is a godly patriotic Republican
snake!!!eleventy-one!”On the other hand, if the candidates *were* campaigning in Guam, at least it’d give the political cartoonists a chance to come up with some new Spam(meat product)/Spam(e-trash) routines. As it stands, we’ll have to find humor in mocking Indiana (the state so boring even the jokes are tired!) and North Carolina (no, that’s the other one; NC is, uh, technology triangle, that’s it — like any Atlanta suburb but with a less congested commute, big laffs fersure).
What cheers me up, kinda, is seeing that McCain lost 27% of the Republican primary vote to two guys who aren’t even running any more. As I said in the last thread, presumably the Huckabee loyalists still hope that McCain will tap Huckster for VP, which is a possibility well suited to evangelical activists who believe in miracles. And if the RonPaulistas can still muster 16% in a Repub primary, it’s not too late to hope for a doomed, glibertarian/racist-vote-sucking, third-party run by this year’s Favorite Cultist!
Y’know how FOX News (snicker!) is always mislabeling politicians, like Mark Foley (“D”-FL), because the Party is more important than the man or the crime? I think Hillary could use the same tactic.
All she needs to do is start calling herself Barack Obama, and putting his name on campaign literature with her picture. Then we rubes, who are easily fooled by such tomfoolery as long as it’s in print or on teevee, would start thinking that she was Barack Obama and mistakenly vote for her.
“I am Barack Obama! I have always been Barack Obama! I was Barack Obama before my opponent was Barack Obama!!”
Whattaya think? Personally, I smell Win. It smells like cookies.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
Will she continue to piss in the fountain, poison the well, shit in the kettle, fling feces in the house…
ITTDGY™³²®©’s parties are always memorable.
Used to be you had to go through Jack Abramoff to get to Guam. Times have changed.
I have platonic man-crushes on all of you.
The sweet, spicy irony is that Plato’s ideal form of love was an older man buggering a pretty, barely pubescant boy instead of his wife. That way the boy could receive coaching from his “mentor” and cultivate a respect for authority, while the older fellow would focus on the younger generation and not be ensnared in the silly schemes of females. When the lad finally managed to grow a beard he could marry (purely for procreation of course) and find a boy toy of his own.
“Platonic love” may as well be called “NAMBLA love”
Tee hee.
Wow. Matt posts 442 words without saying a single damned thing. That’s pretty impressive.
But even better is the amount of projection crammed into that:
superficial deadheads and headlong schizophrenics should rule this country
Or narcissistic cokeheads, same difference.
the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly.
“We create reality”–where have I heard that before?
In reality, contrariwise, once people obtain the critical skills that enable them to think and reflect and speculate independently, they’ll realize that Obama has never been a big fan of freedom of speech.
Take off that fucking T-SHIRT! How DARE you subject Our Dear Leader to DISAGREEMENT? Bubble! Where’s my fucking bubble?
He supports pogroms on speech, thought, academic license, scientific perspective, journalistic integrity, and any other form of expression
Whereas the Bush administration merely forces government researches to change their findings to support a more profitable conclusion–or lose their jobs.
So Obama thinks that the Earth is flat?
And he doesn’t believe in Evolution, either, I bet!
We find among narrow and uneducated minds[…]
…our strongest supporters. Hence “no child left behind” and “Fox news”.
The first is to create a new fundamentalism based not on religion but on an orthodoxy of larrikinism.
I just have to call this one out because of the presence of an obscure Australian trickster figure. Wow.
I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments.
Bin Laden doesn’t want the US to get the fuck out of the Middle East: he just fucking hate our freedoms! And if you think that maybe the war could have been planned better, you just want the fucking terrorists to win!
They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how childish Obama can be.
Dang, this would be a great place for a pouty-chimp photo…
He says he’s going to leave helpless citizens afraid in the streets,
Well, floating in the streets, cause of the flood, but still…
in their jobs,
OK, this one’s in the clear: Bush doesn’t want to leave people in their jobs, afraid or otherwise.
and even in their homes
ZOMG!!! TERRORISTS! You’d better vote Republican and get the FUCKING DUCT TAPE!
He just loves to open his mouth and let all kinds of things come out
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
I am just enjoying the volume of commentary engendered by a random word generator. How come you guys didn’t tease out Righteous Bubbas JanusNode recipes like this?
The fact is, Shorter Matt McMahon: a-skit skat doodle-de-dat, a-doodle-de-day!
Go to http://www.pakin.org/complaint.
Enter Prof. Matt McMahon, Esq.
Enjoy.
Some of what I’m about to say regarding Prof. Matt McMahon, Esq.’s crusades is so childishly simple, I fear it may be patronizing to explain; I apologize in advance. And that’s why I feel compelled to say something about insolent quiddlers. Matt’s fairy tales are characterized by a preachy arrogance unbefitting to someone who knows so little. This is all well and good, but one of the great mysteries of modern life is, How much longer can we tolerate Matt’s impertinent offhand remarks before the whole country collectively throws up? I mean, Matt’s loyalists say, “The sky is falling.” Yes, I’m afraid they really do talk like that. It’s the only way for them to conceal that some people I know say that Matt has no soul. Others argue that he has been dabbling in exclusivism. At this point the distinction is largely academic given that Matt has been doing “in-depth research” (whatever he thinks that means) to prove that there’s no difference between normal people like you and me and high-handed, snappish nutcases. I should mention that I’ve been doing some research of my own. So far, I’ve “discovered” that you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it’s too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: Ancient Greek dramatists discerned a peculiar virtue in being tragic. Matt would do well to realize that they never discerned any virtue in being dictatorial.
The truths that I’ve been rubbing in the faces of delusional, duplicitous astrologers — truths that they don’t want to see — are in fact truths. He will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact because if he didn’t, you might come to realize that we must truly begin a course of careful, planned, and coordinated action. Does that sound extremist? Is it too lethargic for you? I’m sorry if it seems that way but that’s life. I should add parenthetically that Matt undeniably believes that annoying bourgeoisie are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. What kind of Humpty-Dumpty world is he living in? I hardly know. But I will stake the immortality of my soul that Matt has a natural talent for complaining. He can find any aspect of life and whine about it for hours upon hours.
Some would say that this is a platitude. Would that it were! Rather, I find that I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that some people just don’t realize that the picture I am presenting need not be confined to Matt’s sound bites. It applies to everything he says and does. In the end, evil individuals are acting in concert with other evil individuals for an evil purpose.
Personally, I smell Win. It smells like cookies.
Well, thank goodness for that.
I was really getting tired of David Broder’s farts.
mikey
Speaking of shrimp, it turns out that a good chunk of ours comes from child slaves in torture-rape factories.
guess what I had for lunch today 🙁
After reading that I doubt I’ll ever be able to eat shrimp again. Strangely, these tasty bottom feeders aren’t as low-life as the people who run the processing plants.
You know, we can only hope that this race destroys the Democratic party; those guys suck. The Republicans suck even worse, and, god willing, their party will self-destruct slightly before ours will.
Because JanusNode was very oblique, and the Complaint Generator is very easy to use.
I admit. RB is way smarter than me. I need the plug ‘n play treatment.
Did I just volunteer to be rogered? Scratch that.
Former female Canadian PM has warning for Hillary about negative ad campaigning.
Story
Your candidate sucks.
The fact is, Shorter Matt McMahon: a-skit skat doodle-de-dat, a-doodle-de-day!
Whoah– Gary said something that didn’t make me want to throatpunch him?
There’s a malfunction somewhere…
No way, dude, two-day old kitten RAWKS.
Smut Clyde said,
April 23, 2008 at 23:41
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
Will she continue to piss in the fountain, poison the well, shit in the kettle, fling feces in the house…
ITTDGY™³²®©’s parties are always memorable.
Sadly, So! the best parts happen when I’m at teh Borg, suffering.
So, an open note to the person who’s doing the leventy-billion trackbacks:
You think this is teh funnay.
Sadly, No!
I don’t think a person is doing it.
AG has passed on a rumor that I had been banned for 24 hours on this site at some point.
I didn’t notice. Sorry, Gavin. I’m sure if I had known I would have cried.
I blame Pinko. He’s always doing things.
The fact is, Guam is where the heart is.
I didn’t notice. Sorry, Gavin. I’m sure if I had known I would have cried.
The fact is, this Annieangel person is the Courtney Cox of blogging.
I’f there’s a poll open on how long to ban allen butler, I vote forever.
If Obama is elected president Hillary can forget about ever having another shot.
What, is Obama going to outlaw whiskey?
Whiskey, Tango, and Foxtrot will all be outlawed under Shania law.
well Foxtrot is not a Genesis album that I will miss much anyway.
Whiskey, Tango, and Foxtrot will all be outlawed under Shania law.
I suppose that will be situation normal…
Fuck it, I’m voting for Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabadu.
SNAFU allows the clowns in charge to steal more easily.
Bush/Cheney = Milo Minderbinder. Only more evil.
Sadly, So.
“Fuck it, I’m voting for Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabadu.”
Oh, God! That’s the worst name I’ve ever heard!
“What, is Obama going to outlaw whiskey?”
Only that frou-frou Canadian swill that comes in the purple velvet pouch…
Only that frou-frou Canadian swill that comes in the purple velvet pouch…
Wha..?
Huh?
There’s whiskey in my scrotum?
Eeewwww….
mikey
My inquiries, necessarily hasty and perfunctory as I write this post to meet a deadline, have elicited a wealth of information about Barack Obama. Let’s get down to business: Obama has found a way to avoid compliance with government regulations, circumvent any further litigation, and prepare the ground for an ever-more vicious and brutal campaign of terror — all by trumping up a phony emergency. I realize that some people may have trouble reading this letter. Granted, not everyone knows what “anthropomorphologically” means, but it’s nevertheless easy to understand that if I were to compile a list of Obama’s forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that there are two classes of people in this world. There are those who threaten the common good and there are those who upbraid him for being so conceited. Obama fits neatly into the former category, of course.
To some extent, Obama’s mind has limited horizons. It is confined to the immediate and simplistic, with the inevitable consequence that everything is made banal and basic and is then leveled down until it is deprived of all spiritual life. Obama is thoroughly vapid, as he has proved to my complete satisfaction. He doesn’t want us to know about his plans to respond to this letter with hyperbolic and uncorroborated accusations and assaults on free speech. Otherwise, we might do something about that.
From the perspective of those inside Obama’s little empire, the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully. The reality, however, is that I feel that writing this letter is like celestial navigation. Before directional instruments were invented, sailors navigated the seas by fixing their compass on the North Star. However, if Obama were to trick them into fixing their compass on the wrong star they’d soon be so off-course that they’d actually be willing to help him shift blame from those who benefit from oppression to those who suffer from it. Note that the foregoing does not pretend to be an accurate description of all people who might be considered insensitive trolls. It is only a rough indication of some of Obama’s general tendencies.
Obama ought to unstop his ears and uncover his eyes. Only then will he hear that to which he has been too long heedless. Only then will Obama see that when I’m through with him he’ll think twice before attempting to deny both our individual and collective responsibility to live in harmony with each other and the world. What I think — and I’m no specialist — is that our battle with him is a battle between spiritualism and sexism, between tradition and subversion, between the defenders of Western civilization and its enemies. With the battle lines drawn as such, it is abundantly clear that there is only one way to stop Obama from breaking down our communities. We must make out of fools, wise people; out of fanatics, men of sense; out of idlers, workers; out of intolerant lowlifes, people who are willing to focus on concrete facts, on hard news, on analyzing and interpreting what’s happening in the world. Then together we can replace today’s chaos and lack of vision with order and a supreme sense of purpose. Together we can show the world that if Obama were to trade fundamental human rights for a cheap “guarantee” of safety and security, social upheaval and violence would follow. It is therefore clear that Obama’s partisans resist seeing that Obama’s hariolations are a cancer that is slowly eating away at our flesh. They resist seeing such things because to see them, to examine them, to think about them and draw conclusions from them is to focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a sententious agenda.
I allege that Obama uses vulgar language and makes obscene gestures at those whose opinions differ from his. My views, of course, are not the issue here. The issue is that I can’t possibly believe his claim that laws are meant to be broken. If someone can convince me otherwise, I’ll eat my hat. Heck, I’ll eat a whole closetful of hats. That’s a pretty safe bet because there is one crucial fact that we must not overlook if we are to perceive our current situation as it is, rather than in the anamorphosis of some “ideology” such as phallocentrism or fanaticism. Specifically, if you’ll allow me a minor dysphemism, Obama lives in a world of privileged emotion devoid of any connectable empirical dots. Or, to phrase that a little more politely, Obama’s intent is to prevent us from asking questions. He doesn’t want the details checked. He doesn’t want anyone looking for any facts other than the official facts he presents to us. I wonder if this is because most of his “facts” are false.
Knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That’s why it’s important for you to know that if you study Obama’s illiterate apologues long enough, you’ll come to the inescapable conclusion that he has a strategy. His strategy is to pander to the most ophidian bohemians you’ll ever see. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with Obama. Obama’s ideological colors may have changed over the years. Nevertheless, his core principle has remained the same: to inspire a recrudescence of sordid fatuity. If you don’t believe me then note that Obama cannot endure the world of reality and must take refuge in his besotted fantasies. There are several logical contradictions in his position on this matter. For example, what we’re involved in with Obama is not a game. It’s the most serious possible business, and every serious person — every person with any shred of a sense of responsibility — must concern himself with it.
It is painful to write such truisms, but I am convinced that there will be a strong effort on Obama’s part to take control of a nation and suck it dry quicker than you can double-check the spelling of “phenomenalistic”. This effort will be disguised, of course. It will be cloaked in deceit, as such efforts always are. That’s why I’m informing you that I challenge Obama to point out any text in this letter that proposes that he has a duty to conceal the facts and lie to the rest of us, under oath if necessary, perjuring himself to help disseminate the True Faith of metagrobolism. It isn’t there. There’s neither a hint nor a suggestion of such a thing.
Obama’s philosophies, which are constructions of dubious stability in their own right, are built on highly questionable foundations. If you doubt this, just ask around. Guess what? It scares the bejeezus out of me to know that Obama might lead a brazen jihad against those who oppose him by next weekend. For proof of this fact I must point out that any rational argument must acknowledge this. His whiney, money-grubbing diatribes, naturally, do not. I am familiar with his goals, I understand how he operates, I have long recognized his tactics, and I know just about where he now stands on the ladder to total power. I can therefore say that, doubtlessly, we are a nation of prostitutes. By this I mean that as long as we are fat, warm, and dry we don’t care what Obama does. It is precisely that lack of caring that explains why I find that I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that some people don’t realize that I sincerely have a hard time trying to reason with people who remain calm when they see Obama develop a credible pretext to forcibly silence his opponents.
We must reach out to people with the message that mudslinging is as mudslinging does. We must alert people of that. We must educate them. We must inspire them. And we must encourage them to look into the future and consider what will happen if we let him leave a large part of this country’s workforce dislocated and disillusioned.
Clearly, Obama lives and breathes fetishism. (Actually, Obama, perhaps more than anyone, should take seriously the challenge to balkanize his socially inept retinue into an etiolated and sapless agglomeration, but that’s not important now.) He has nothing but contempt for you, and you don’t even know it. That’s why I feel obligated to inform you that someone just showed me a memo supposedly written by Obama. The memo spells out his plans to encourage a deadly acceptance of intolerance. If this memo is authentic, it tells us that if the human race is to survive on this planet, we will have to solve the problems of adversarialism, Maoism, economic inequality, and lack of equal opportunity. The dominant characteristic of Obama’s self-fulfilling prophecies is not that they fragment the nation into politically disharmonious units, but that, in the bargain, they tell everyone else what to do. Obama craves more power. I say we should give him more power — preferably, 10,000 volts of it. To recapitulate, Barack Obama personifies our nation’s short attention span and penchant for apathy.
Hey. Who the hell’s that mickey dood?
And why’s he talkin about his balls?
mikey
gbear: Sorry, I really loved Horizons / Supper’s Ready. Or at least I did. When 1973 prog-rock concept albums are outlawed, only outlaws will own 1973 prog-rock concept albums.
“There’s whiskey in my scrotum?”
That…that was a good one.
I was expecting a lowbrow semen/genitalia joke at some point, but…
Well done, sir. Well done.
You tease. But will you promise?
gbear,you are just on fire on this thread. More than a couple of your quips have made me laugh out loud at a cat-scaring decibel level. (Although you’d think the little furball would be used to me by now.) The whisky comment made me choke on the honey-roasted peanuts I’m eating for supper.
Reading Sadly,No! while eating is hazardous! Fortunately, I soon won’t be able to afford to eat, so I guess I’ll be safe then.
Wow.
Ladies and gentlemen:
Marvel at the dreck turned out by the 10-paragraph complaint generator.
Awesome! Totally awesome! Alright Hamilton!!!
Can we dispense with the noise generator?
It’s going to end next week, I think.
Hillary is going to get creamed in Indiana and North Carolina, by all reports. Her “turning tide” is pathetic. She sent an email out to people who’d signed onto her site (I used http://www.spamgourmet.com, so I will get only 10 more of these entertaining gems) bragging that she’d gotten 50,000 new donors in the last 24 hours.
In the same period, Obama went from just over 1.3 million individual donors to almost 1.5 million individual donors. I’m sitting here watching his counter tick, and it looks like he’s picking up new donors at a rate of about 1,000 every thirty minutes.
g, I don’t think there’s anybody sitting in the captain’s chair anymore.
I’m starting to think Sadly, No!’s a ghost ship, sailing across the wind-ruffled surface of the intert00bz with nobody at the helm, nobody in the nav station, and the guests blithely dancing the night away, with no idea that nothing but doom and oblivion awaits…
Oh. And the saul mcmahon troll is brutal…
mikey
and the guests blithely dancing the night away,
Unless they’re below decks rogering Kate Winslet.
with no idea that nothing but doom and oblivion awaits…
At least we’ve got enough lifeboats.
Right?
Ok, I’m all the way down with Rogering Kate.
But can we also consider, at least, Kating Roger?
mikey
Don’t worry. We can sort things out when we reach that iceberg dead ahead.
Sorry, I really loved Horizons / Supper’s Ready.
El Cid, I forgot about Supper’s Ready. I guess I haven’t listened to the record in years. I’ll have to give it another spin while I still can.
Candy, Always glad to help aleviate kitty boredom.
Sweet Jeebus on a stick with anchovy paste!
MM was doing so well keeping the complaint generator down to one paragraph and now he rachets it all the way up to 11. What the hell happened?
That boy sure does need a new hobby!
MM was doing so well keeping the complaint generator down to one paragraph and now he rachets it all the way up to 11. What the hell happened?
He just got one of these installed on his complaint generator.
gbear and El Cid–
Lamb Lies Down can never be eclipsed.
In The Cage? Back in NYC? The Colony Of Slippermen???
ProgRockPerfection.
But can we also consider, at least, Kating Roger?
But which Roger? Ailes?!?! Surely he doesn’t rate a Kating.
I hope that Ron Paul will mount a 3rd party glibertard campaign. I’ve been musing about it, and I just don’t see a downside. He’s going to siphon off McCain voters like crazy. I don’t see him doing a lot of damage to the Dems. Maybe some of those Hillary-people-who-won’t-vote-for-Obama will take their outrage over to Ron instead of venting their spleens by voting for McCain. It just seems like a win-win for us.
I laughed out loud when I saw from the PA vote how many Rethugs are still hearting Huckabee. Today I drove through a couple of areas of town I don’t normally get into and saw at least three Huck yard signs.
These are strange times we live in, folks. Strange times.
Barrack will have the nomination wrapped up on May 21. He’ll win North Carolina and get a share of delegates from Indiana, even if Hillary wins it. On May 20, Barrack will win Oregon and get a share of delegates from Kentucky. Hillary’s money is already drying up, and will be gone by then. By then, the superdelegates will be superfluous. Barrack’s lead in pledged delegates will be insurmountable and some of Hillary’s superdelegates will threaten to switch to Obama, just to convince her to drop out. Barrack picks Pennsylvania governor Rendell as veep and conciliation gesture. Then I eat pie.
The fact is, I have some very startling, very radical — some might say insidious — insights into Mr. Barack H Obama’s latest campaigns. I would like to start by discussing Mr. Obama’s artifices, mainly because they scare me. The thing I’m the most frightened about is that I respect the English language and believe in the use of words as a means of communication. Sullen ingrates like Mr. Obama, however, consider spoken communication as merely a set of noises uttered to excite emotions in arrogant schizophrenics in order to convince them to respond to this letter with hyperbolic and uncorroborated accusations and assaults on free speech. He has been known to say that he has the authority to issue licenses for practicing phallocentrism. That notion is so raucous, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. Did Mr. Obama get dropped on his head when he was young, or did he take massive doses of drugs to believe that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash? Let me give you a hint: The space remaining in this letter will not suffice even to enumerate the ways in which he has tried to marginalize me based on my gender, race, or religion.
Mr. Obama has a vested interest in maintaining the myths that keep his coalition of amoral slaves to fashion and subversive clunks loyal to him. His principal myth is that hanging out with self-absorbed, hypocritical rabble-rousers is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. The truth is that Mr. Obama is trying to brainwash us. He wants us to believe that it’s superficial to test the assumptions that underlie his effusions; that’s boring; that’s not cool. You know what I think of that, don’t you? I think that far too many people tolerate Mr. Obama’s writings as long as they’re presented in small, seemingly harmless doses. What these people fail to realize, however, is that Mr. Obama is crazier than a road lizard. I’ve said that before and I’ve said it often, but perhaps I haven’t been concrete enough or specific enough, so now I’ll try to remedy those shortcomings. I’ll try to be a lot more specific and concrete when I explain that if you were to tell Mr. Obama that there doesn’t seem to be much we can do about this, he’d just pull his security blanket a little tighter around himself and refuse to come out and deal with the real world.
I wouldn’t even mention that clumsy humanity-haters represent one of the most delirious wings of clueless exhibitionism you can find if it weren’t true. I acknowledge freely and make no apology for the fact that I once considered it reasonable for meretricious boors to lower this country’s moral tone and depreciate its commercial integrity. But now I know that Mr. Obama’s advocates resist seeing that we will need to use diverse skills and tactics if we are to defy the international enslavement of entire peoples. They resist seeing such things because to see them, to examine them, to think about them and draw conclusions from them is to carve solutions that are neither venal nor vainglorious. If Mr. Obama has any children, I recommend that he teach them about love, trust, cooperation, community, reason, negotiation, and compromise rather than violence, paranoia, and fear. It’s not just the lunatic fringe that’s in his corner; a number of previously respectable people have begun backing Mr. Obama. Do you think I’m the only one who wants to answer the homicidal mouthpieces for invidious cameralism who limit the terms of debate by declaring certain subjects beyond discussion? I assure you, I am not. But he says that the few of us who complain regularly about his generalizations are simply spoiling the party. This is noxious falsehood. The truth is that he acts as if he were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling.
Contrary to what Mr. Obama would have you believe, whenever there’s an argument about his devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that some of the things he says and some of the things he stands for are so malign, it hurts to think about them. That should settle the argument pretty quickly. For those of you who don’t know, if one accepts the framework I’ve laid out here, it follows logically that he wants us to feel sorry for the bitter reprobates who supply the chains that bind the individual to notions of self-loathing and unworthiness. I profess we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that once one begins thinking about free speech, about inane, termagant reavers who use ostracism and public opinion to prevent the airing of views contrary to their own inimical beliefs, one realizes that Mr. Obama refers to a variety of things using the word “pectinatodenticulate”. Translating this bit of jargon into English isn’t easy. Basically, he’s saying that the Eleventh Commandment is, “Thou shalt generate alienation and withdrawal”, which we all know is patently absurd. At any rate, Mr. Obama’s cringers believe that the best way to serve one’s country is to provide financial support to backwards banana republics and their feebleminded dictators. It should not be surprising that they believe this, however. As we all know, minds that have been so maimed that they believe that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements can believe anything, especially if it’s false.
Note that Mr. Obama contends that some people deserve to feel safe while others do not. What planet is he from? The planet Damnable? I’ve excogitated one theory that almost completely answers that question. Unfortunately, it fails to take into account that Mr. Obama must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That’s the only explanation I can come up with as to why Mr. Obama accuses me of admitting that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. What I actually said is that Mr. Obama’s goal is to represent a threat to all the people in the area, indeed, possibly the world. How ghastly is that? How tyrannical? How biased?
Is it any wonder that Mr. Obama is morally irresponsible and mentally feeble? You might say, “His modus operandi is to make my worst nightmares come true.” Fine, I agree. But he has planted his goombahs everywhere. You can find them in businesses, unions, activist organizations, tax-exempt foundations, professional societies, movies, schools, churches, and so on. Not only does this subversive approach enhance Mr. Obama’s ability to impose a one-size-fits-all model on how society should function but it also provides irrefutable evidence that he is absolutely mistaken if he believes that principles don’t matter. Cowardice, irresponsibility, and totalitarianism are inextricably wedded in Mr. Obama’s ethics — honestly an instructive warning for the future. To make a long story short, Mr. Obama’s methods are much subtler now than ever before. Mr. Obama is more adept at hidden mind control and his techniques of social brainwash are much more appealingly streamlined and homogenized.
Although Mr. Obama would rather I discuss the personality flaws of unwed, pregnant teenagers, his attempts to concoct a version of reality that fully contradicts real life are much worse than mere incendiarism. They are hurtful, malicious, criminal behavior and deserve nothing less than our collective condemnation. Well, let’s get our facts straight. He seizes every opportunity to precipitate riots. I cannot believe this colossal clownishness. Any sane person knows that ribald stool pigeons are more susceptible to Mr. Obama’s brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle he puts them in. They then lose all recollection that Mr. Obama yearns for the Oriental despotisms of pre-Hellenic times, the neolithic culture that preceded the rise of self-consciousness and egoism. By the same token, he abhors the current era, in which people are free to raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding Mr. Obama’s snivelling lamentations.
Mr. Obama wants nothing less than to turn the social order upside-down so that the dregs on the bottom become the scum on the top. His legatees then wonder, “What’s wrong with that?” Well, there’s not much to be done with pharisaical, dodgy spongers who can’t figure out what’s wrong with that, but the rest of us can plainly see that most people want to be nice; they want to be polite; they don’t want to give offense. And because of this inherent politeness, they step aside and let Mr. Obama use psychological tools to trick us into doing whatever ethically bankrupt jackanapes require of us. We can no longer afford to do nothing about his effete intimations. Instead, we must strike while the iron is hot and tell you things that Mr. Obama doesn’t want you to know. Even if our society had no social problems at all we could still say that in the Old Testament, the Book of Kings relates how the priests of Baal were slain for deceiving the people. I’m not suggesting that there be any contemporary parallel involving Mr. Obama, but Mr. Obama’s declamations will spread fetishism all over the globe like pigeon droppings over Trafalgar Square within a short period of time. If you don’t believe me, see for yourself.
Curiously, if Mr. Obama’s put-downs get any more ill-bred, I expect they’ll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. Mr. Obama accuses me of being narrow-minded. Does he suspect I’m narrow-minded because I refuse to accept his claim that our elected officials should be available for purchase by special-interest groups? If so, then I guess I’m as narrow-minded as I could possibly be. Does he honestly expect us to believe that his obloquies epitomize wholesome family entertainment? We already have our answer; as a respected journalist put it, “Where there is an excess of power there will always be an abuse of power”. She probably could have added that while we do nothing, those who mold the mind of virtually every citizen — young or old, rich or poor, simple or sophisticated — are gloating and smirking. And they will keep on gloating and smirking until we find the common ground that enables others to operate on today’s real — not tomorrow’s ideal — political terrain.
You shouldn’t let Mr. Obama intimidate you. You shouldn’t let him push you around. We’re the ones who are right, not Mr. Obama. He does not want to discredit and intimidate the opposition because he is execrable, cantankerous, primitive, and mutinous (though, granted, Mr. Obama is all of the aforementioned) but rather because it doesn’t do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of Mr. Obama’s ballyhoos in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must provide information and inspiration to as many people as possible. I close this letter along the same lines it opened on: Mr. Barack H Obama enjoys pondering new ways to instill distrust and thereby create a need for his feral views.
Jebus, Gary, get off the crank, man!
The fact is, allow me the honor of giving you a brief lesson in the Democratic Party’s many pathetic attributes. In the first place, if it weren’t for truculent, dour party animals, the Democratic Party would have no friends. I note in passing that the Democratic Party’s apologues, which are constructions of dubious stability in their own right, are built on highly questionable foundations. That fact may not be pleasant but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter.
By destroying our moral fiber, the Democratic Party reveals its ignorance about academicism’s polyvocality. It probably also doesn’t realize that we must soon make one of the most momentous decisions in history. We must decide whether to let the Democratic Party exploit the masses or, alternatively, whether we should focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a biased agenda. Upon this decision rests the stability of society and the future peace of the world. My view on this decision is that the Democratic Party is planning to increase society’s cycle of hostility and violence. This does not bode well for the future because from secret-handshake societies meeting at “the usual place” to back-door admissions committees, its understrappers have always found a way to tinker about with a lot of halfway prescriptions.
Similarly, that fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. “Thinking” is the key word in the previous sentence. Do you think I’m the only one who wants to refute the Democratic Party’s arguments line by line and claim by claim? I assure you, I am not. They are faggots, too. But even the Democratic Party’s allies are afraid that the Democratic Party will replace the search for truth with a situationist relativism based on pea-brained stoicism some day. I have seen their fear manifested over and over again and it is further evidence that I will stop at nothing to establish democracy and equality. My resolve cannot fully be articulated but it is unyielding. As evidence, consider that once you understand the Democratic Party’s strictures, you have a responsibility to do something about them. To know, to understand, and not to act, is an egregious sin of omission and really really gay. It is the sin of silence. It is the sin of letting the Democratic Party use both overt and covert deceptions to “solve” all our problems by talking them to death.
What conclusion should we draw from the Democratic Party’s arguments? How about that the Democratic Party’s editorials are so exact in their scheme, so comprehensive in their scope, that ignorant, pigheaded clods have adopted and embraced them verbatim ac litteratim? The Democratic Party seems entirely incapable of understanding that it would have us believe that the world is crying out to labor beneath its firm but benevolent heel. Not surprisingly, its evidence for that absolutely humorless claim is top-heavy with anonymous sources and, to put it mildly, it has a checkered track record for accuracy. I myself allege it would be more accurate for the Democratic Party to say that its manuscripts have grown into a meddlesome tapestry weaving together classical conspiracy theories of the 19th century and post-Marxian economics. More than that, it is like a magician who produces a dove in one hand while the other hand is pulling his pud.
Where does the line get drawn? The Democratic Party’s obiter dicta reek of egotism. I use the word “reek” because blackguardism is the Democratic Party’s main weapon and its chief means of convincing its factotums to stand in the way of progress. In this case, one cannot help but recall that it can’t fool me. I’ve met uncivilized, brutal nitwits before, so I know that if you were to try to tell the Democratic Party’s shills that there is no limit to its impudence, they’d close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don’t want to hear that anyone who hasn’t been living in a cave with his eyes shut and his ears plugged knows that if the Democratic Party believes that things have never been better, then it’s obvious why it thinks that it can be trusted to judge the rest of the world from a unique perch of pure wisdom.
The Democratic Party supports a wide variety of bons mots. Some are foolish; others are intransigent. A few openly support careerism. I am inwardly repelled by the pettifogging phraseology of the Democratic Party’s threats and the inaniloquent style in which they are expressed. Cock. And if that seems like a modest claim, I disagree. It’s the most radical claim of all.
The Democratic Party sees no reason why it shouldn’t give rise to stuck-up, illogical tax cheats. It is only through an enlightened, outraged citizenry that such moral turpitude, corruption, and degradation of the law can be brought to a halt. So, let me enlighten and outrage you by stating that I once tried to explain to the Democratic Party that its tactics will trick our children into adopting unconventional, disapproved-of opinions and ways of life. Rather than feel ashamed of itself, the Democratic Party got angry at me. What this says is that the Democratic Party’s adherents have been running around recently trying to cause (or at least contribute to) a variety of social ills. Meanwhile, the Democratic Party has been preparing to create a regime of irritable commercialism. The whole episode smacks of a carefully orchestrated operation. If you ask me, the Democratic Party’s latest homilies are particularly profligate, even by the Democratic Party’s profligate standards. For proof of this fact I must point out that the Democratic Party’s cohorts are tools. Like a hammer or an axe, they are not inherently evil or destructive. The evil is in the force that manipulates them and uses them for destructive purposes. That evil is the Democratic Party, who wants nothing less than to fund a vast web of mindless, wishy-washy cretins, mawkish, yawping urban guerrillas, and uncouth ruffians of one sort or another.
The Democratic Party’s witticisms are unbalanced. They’re unnecessary. They’re counterproductive. Whenever I encounter them I think that time cannot change the Democratic Party’s behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which the Democratic Party can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, throw us into a “heads I win, tails you lose” situation.
If you read between the lines of the Democratic Party’s mind games, you’ll obviously find that the Democratic Party’s list of sins is long and each one deserves more space than I have here. Therefore, rather than describe each one individually, I’ll summarize by stating that the tone of its lamentations is eerily reminiscent of that of reckless yokels of the late 1940s in the sense that it demands absolute and blind obedience from its vicegerents. If it didn’t, they might question its orders to eliminate the plebiscitary mechanisms which ensure a free and democratic society. This unrelenting demand of obedience also implies that I must admit that I’ve read only a small fraction of the Democratic Party’s writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I’ve read enough of the Democratic Party’s writings to know that we can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we clearly have to give our young people the values that will inspire them to challenge the present and enrich the future. While the Democratic Party is undeniably entitled to ignore good advice from intelligent people, its theatrics are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, it has taken it upon itself to confuse the catastrophic power of state fascism with the repression of an authoritarian government in our minds. Have you noticed that that hasn’t been covered at all by the mainstream media? Maybe they’re afraid that the Democratic Party will retaliate by putting insecure thoughts in our children’s minds.
Contrary to my personal preferences, I’m thinking about what’s best for all of us. My conclusion is that what’s best for all of us is for me to spread awareness of the vile nature of the Democratic Party’s activities. The Democratic Party uses the word “semiprofessionalized” to justify turning positions of leadership into positions of complacency. In doing so, it is reversing the meaning of that word as a means of disguising the fact that its behavior is beneath contempt. Am I aware of how the Democratic Party will react when it reads that last sentence? Yes. Do I care? No, because its grunts’ thinking is fenced in by many constraints. Their minds are not free because they dare not be. I close this letter along the same lines it opened on: There is a political agenda behind the “no one is smart enough to see through the Democratic Party’s transparent lies” malarkey.
By the way, blaming Hillary for the campaign of calling Barrack a “bad negro” is just lacking perspective. The ‘epublican ‘arty was always going to call Barrack a “bad negro”, the good news is its not as effective as they were counting on. “Wattles” McCain has already tipped his hand, the next attack will be on “hen-pecked wimp” Barrack. Then I’ll buy another pie.
Right now I’m feeling pretty good about being a total moron when it comes to computer programs and toys. I’ll never have enough rope to hang myself.
Gary, eat some double stuf Oreos, and take Dark Side Of the Moon off the stereo. You’ll feel better, and the evening won’t be a total waste if you put another home appliance in front yard.
Trolls need to get off the complaint generator.
It’s quite tiresome.
Go original or go home.
Ban Ban Ban
Ban Matt McMahon
calling Barrack a “bad negro” is just lacking perspective. The ‘epublican ‘arty was always going to call Barrack a “bad negro”
Well, mebbe so, but I’m not buying.
Politics can’t work like war. In war, dead is dead, no matter where the high-velocity metal came from.
But in politics? Friendly fire has ramifications far beyond that which it hits…
mikey
What the fuck has happened here? Some twat named “Matt” is complaining about shitty language on the internet? What the fuck is the God damned world coming to?
Fuck!
Il fatto è, mi concede il honor di darvi una breve lezione nel democratico molti attributi pathetic del partito. In primo luogo, se non fosse per gli animali truculent e dour del partito, il partito democratico non avrebbe amici. Noto nel passare che i apologues del partito democratico, che sono costruzioni di stabilità dubbia nella loro propria destra, sono sviluppati sui fondamenti altamente discutibili. Che il fatto non può essere piacevole ma esso è un fatto senza riguardo ai nostri desideri sulla materia. Distruggendo la nostra fibra morale, il partito democratico rivela la relativa ignoranza circa il polyvocality dei academicism. Probabilmente inoltre non si rende conto che dobbiamo presto fare uno delle decisioni più momentous nella storia. Dobbiamo decidere se lasciamo il partito democratico sfruttare le masse o, alternativamente, se dovremmo mettere a fuoco sulle forze economiche, sociali e politiche principali che forniscono la regolazione per l’espressione di un ordine del giorno polarizzato. Su questa decisione riposa la stabilità della società e la pace futura del mondo. Il mio punto di vista su questa decisione è che il partito democratico sta progettando aumentare il ciclo della società di ostilità e della violenza. Ciò non bode bene per il futuro perché dalle società della segreto-stretta di mano che vengono a contatto “al posto usuale” ai comitati back-door di ammissioni, i relativi understrappers hanno trovato sempre un senso riparare circa con le prescrizioni a metà strada molto. Similmente, quel fatto è semplicemente inevitabile a tutto l’uomo o donna pensante. “pensare” è la parola chiave nella frase precedente. Lo pensate sono quello unico chi desidera confutare la linea di discussioni del partito democratico dalla linea ed il reclamo dal reclamo? Li assicuro che, non sono. Sono faggots, anche. Ma persino gli alleati del partito democratico sono impauriti che il partito democratico sostituirà la ricerca della verità con un relativism di situationist basato sullo stoicism dei piselli-brained un certo giorno. Ho visto che il loro timore manifestato ripetutamente ancora ed esso è ulteriore prova che arresterò a niente stabilire la democrazia e l’uguaglianza. La mia risoluzione non può completamente essere articolata ma è unyielding. Come prova, consideri che una volta che capite gli strictures del partito democratico, avete una responsabilità di fare loro qualcosa circa. Sapere, capire e non comportarsi, è un sin egregious dell’omissione e realmente realmente del gay. È il sin di silenzio. È il sin di lasciare l’uso del partito democratico sia evidente che gli inganni segreti “risolvono” tutti i nostri problemi comunicandoli con morte. Che conclusione dovremmo disegnare dalle discussioni del partito democratico? Come a tale proposito gli editoriali del partito democratico sono così esatto nel loro schema, così completo nella loro portata, che i clods ignari e pigheaded le hanno adottate ed abbracciato litteratim alla lettera di CA? Il partito democratico sembra interamente incapace di capire che ci farebbe credere che il mondo stia gridando fuori al lavoro sotto il relativo tallone costante ma benevolo. Non sorprendentemente, la relativa prova per quel reclamo assolutamente humorless è top-heavy con le fonti anonime e, metterlo leggermente, ha a checkered l’annotazione di pista per esattezza. I che io stesso la dichiara sarebbe più esatto affinchè il partito democratico dica che i relativi manoscritti si sono sviluppati in una tappezzeria meddlesome che tesse insieme le teorie classiche di cospirazione del diciannovesimi secolo ed economia dell’alberino-Marxian. Più di quello, è come un mago che produce una colomba in una mano mentre l’altra mano sta tirando il suo pud. Dove la linea ottiene disegnata? Il reek di dicta del obiter del partito democratico di egotism. Uso la parola “reek” perché il blackguardism è l’arma principale ed il relativo modo principale del partito democratico di convincere i relativi factotums per ostacolare progresso. In questo caso, uno non può aiutare ma ricordare che non può imbrogliarlo. Ho venuto a contatto di uncivilized, nitwits brutali prima, in modo da so che se doveste provare a dire agli shills del partito democratico a che non ci sia limite al relativo impudence, chiuderebbero i loro occhi e mettere il loro cosegna i loro orecchi. Sono, come gli psicologi dicono, nella smentita. Non desiderano sentirsi che chiunque che non stia vivendo in una caverna con i suoi occhi chiusi ed i suoi orecchi tappati sa che se il partito democratico crede che le cose non siano state mai migliori, allora esso è evidente perchè pensa che possa fidarsi di per giudicare il resto del mondo da una pertica unica di saggezza pura. Il partito democratico sostiene un’ampia varietà di mots dei bons. Alcuni sono insensati; altri sono intransigent. Alcuni sostengono apertamente il careerism. Interiormente sono respinto dalla fraseologia pettifogging delle minacce e dello stile inaniloquent del partito democratico in cui sono espressi. Rubinetto. E se quello sembra come un reclamo modesto, non sono d’accordo. È il reclamo più radicale di tutti. Il partito democratico non vede ragione per la quale non dovrebbe provocare le frodi attaccate-in su e illogiche di imposta. È soltanto attraverso un citizenry chiarito e oltraggiato che tali turpitude, corruzione e degradazione morali della legge possono essere arrestati. Così, lascilo li chiariscono ed oltraggiano dichiarando quella I provata una volta per spiegare al partito democratico che le relative tattiche inganneranno i nostri bambini nell’adozione non convenzionale, disapprov- delle opinioni e dei modo di vivere. Piuttosto che ritenga ashamed di se, il partito democratico ottenuto arrabbiato me. Che cosa questo dice è che gli aderenti del partito democratico stanno funzionando intorno recentemente a provare a causare (o contribuire almeno) una varietà di ills sociali. Nel frattempo, il partito democratico sta preparandosi per generare un regime dello spirito commerciale irritable. Gli smacks interi di episodio di un funzionamento con attenzione disposto. Se mi chiedete, gli ultimi homilies del partito democratico sono particolarmente dissoluti, anche dai campioni dissoluti del partito democratico. Per prova di questo fatto devo precisare che i gruppi del partito democratico sono attrezzi. Come un martello o un’ascia, non sono inerentemente diabolici o distruttivi. La malvagità è nella forza che li maneggia e li usa per gli scopi distruttivi. Quella malvagità è il partito democratico, che non desidera niente più di meno di costituire un fondo per un fotoricettore ampio dei cretins mindless e wishy-wishy-washy, del mawkish, dei guerriglieri urbani yawping e dei ruffians del uncouth di un certo tipo. I witticisms del partito democratico sono unbalanced. Sono inutili. Sono controproducenti. Ogni volta che li incontro io pensi che il tempo non possa cambiare il comportamento del partito democratico. Il tempo soltanto ingrandisce il campo in cui il partito democratico può, con intensità e thoroughness sempre crescenti, gettarli nell'”teste che vinco, code perdete” la situazione. Se leggete fra le linee dei giochi di mente del partito democratico, troverete ovviamente che la lista del partito democratico dei sins è lunga ed ogni merita più spazio che ho qui. Di conseguenza, piuttosto che descriva individualmente ogni, ricapitolerò dichiarando che il tono dei relativi lamentations è eerily rievocativo di quello dei yokels reckless dei 1940s tardi nel senso che richiede il obedience assoluto e cieco dai relativi vicegerents. Se non, potrebbero mettere in discussione i relativi ordini per eliminare i meccanismi plebiscitary che accertano una società libera e democratica. Questa richiesta inesorabile di obedience inoltre implica che debba ammettere che ho letto soltanto una piccola frazione delle scritture del partito democratico. (poichè un aphorism ben noto dichiara, non è necessario da mangiare tutta la mela per imparare che è marcia.) Tuttavia, ho letto abbastanza delle scritture del partito democratico per sapere che possiamo non rinviare mai al passato. E se dobbiamo mai muoversi in avanti verso il futuro, chiaramente dobbiamo dare ai nostri giovani i valori che le ispireranno sfidare il presente ed arricchire il futuro. Mentre il partito democratico innegabilmente è autorizzato di ignorare il buon consiglio dalla gente intelligente, il relativo theatrics non è un problema astratto. Ha conseguenze molto concrete, immediate e sgradevoli. Per esempio, lo ha preso su se per confondere l’alimentazione catastrofica di dichiara il fascismo con la repressione di un governo autoritario nelle nostre menti. Avete notato quello che non è stato coperto affatto dai mezzi tradizionali? Forse sono impauriti che il partito democratico retaliate mettendo i pensieri insicuri nelle menti dei nostri bambini. Contrario alle mie preferenze personali, sto pensando a che cosa è la cosa migliore per tutti noi. La mia conclusione è che che cosa è il la cosa migliore per tutti noi è affinchè me spargano la consapevolezza della natura vile delle attività del partito democratico. Il partito democratico usa la parola “semiprofessionalized” per giustificare trasformare nelle posizioni di direzione le posizioni di soddisfazione. In tal modo, sta invertendo il significato di quella parola come mezzi di travestimento del fatto che il relativo comportamento è sotto contempt. Sono informato di come il partito democratico reagirà quando legge quella ultima frase? Sì. Mi preoccupo? No, perché pensare dei relativi grugniti è recintato dentro da molti vincoli. Le loro menti non sono libere perché osano non essere. Chiudo questa lettera seguendo le stesse linee che si è aperta sopra: Ci è un ordine del giorno politico dietro “nessuno è abbastanza astuto vedere con il malarkey di bugie trasparenti del partito democratico”.
I fully expect Hillary to crash Obama’s inauguration and challenge him to another debate.
Aw fuck, can the trolls just stop it?
Jesus.
Aw fuck, can the trolls just stop it?
No. No, they really can’t.
A hundred years from now Hillary will still be seen walking on the moors on some moonlit nights, softly humming I Won’t Back Down and whispering “The tiiide isss tuuurrrning.”
More on John McCain’s uncontrollable rages. “Michael Leahy of the Washington Post chronicles a lifetime of abusive outbursts by Sen. John McCain.”
He and John Bolton should get together.
Hell, ten years from now Hil will be seen on a street corner in NYC holding a placard that says “I’m coming back” in one hand and a squeegee in the other and ranting incoherently.
“[McSame] and John Bolton should get together.”
Wonder which one would be bottom?
The unbroadcast portion of the ABC democratic candidate’s debate. Trust me, you MUST go read this.
http://mediabloodhound.typepad.com/weblog/2008/04/the-wounded-c-4.html
Tell me this is a joke gbear. Please dear God, shoot the fucking press in the head if it isn’t.
Lesley, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s a joke. I don’t think that Gibson actually shot a gun two feet over Hillary’s head. Brilliant.
Oops, correction. It was Stephanopoulos who fired the gun. Time for bed.
Yes, Lesley, that’s a joke.
It’s hard to tell anymore.
mickey said,
There’s whiskey in my scrotum?
Who is this Mickey dude and why is he stealing my prosthetic-testicle schtik?
Staff,
Time for a new post so we may all abandon this thread to the trolls!
I’d recommend posting a reminder about the East Coast Drinking Sadlyly-thon-fest-palooza on this Sunday at 5:00 pm at the People’s Republik, 876 Mass Ave, Cambridge, MA.
Passwords are: “The fact is, the fact is” OR “Shalom, gentlemen” OR “The fact is, the Heartland” OR “I like pie!” OR “I like that feller who writes them long, meandering, pointless comments the best!”.
We’ll be in the usual DL spot, just to the left of the door when you come in.
Jennifer said,
April 24, 2008 at 5:32
I fully expect Hillary to crash Obama’s inauguration and challenge him to another debate.
Now that’s funny.
gbear said,
April 24, 2008 at 5:15
Right now I’m feeling pretty good about being a total moron when it comes to computer programs and toys. I’ll never have enough rope to hang myself.
Yeah, but you’d probably have enough rope to go to a park and tie one end around your neck and the other end around your bits. Actually, if I understand it correctly, part of the fun is to have a rope that’s just a little bit too short.
p.s. So many good comments in this thread, and it’s way late, so forgive me for all the obsequious quoting.
There’s whiskey in my scrotum?
Silly man. Where do you think Irish kids come from?
There’s whiskey in my scrotum?
Again demonstrating that guys will say anything in the hope of oral sex.
Oh, I forgot to mention that if you are coming to our little shinding on Sunday at the People’s Republik, you can only come naked if you promise not assault any ambulance personnel.
Police log By Cambridge Chronicle Wed Jan 04, 2006, 07:00 PM EST Cambridge –
…
Dec. 31, [2006]
…
1:59 p.m., [name and address removed by the management] charged with indecent exposure and assault and battery on ambulance personnel. Srinivasan allegedly walked into the People’s Republik bar completely naked, and then assaulted ambulance personnel when they attempted to remove him from the bar.
That is all.
[Note from the management: A link was also removed from this post.]
What time on sunday?
5:00 pm until whenever.
I pity her secret service detail.
Fucking great. As if the chance of another moonikin attack isn’t scary enough. Now I’ve got to worry about crazed naked dudes.
On Saturday I was down at the local little league field watching the 4th graders play after my son’s practice was over and I overheard the following conversation between a kid we’ll call Toshi and one of the coaches who is a big shot at a major right wing media outlet:
Big shot: So, Toshi, who’s your favorite baseball player, Hideki Matsui, Ichiro, Dice-K?
Toshi: My favorite player is Derek Jeter.
Big Shot: Oh yeah, Derek Jeter? Not a Japanese player?
Toshi (now with an exasperated tone): I was born in Queens. I’m an American.
Ok, so maybe that’s not as funny in the retelling but it made me laugh and I understand even kids who weren’t there have been making fun of the clueless pundit for not being smarter than a 4th grader all week. There is hope for the future after all.
*All Dialogue Guaranteed Overheard*
Ok, so maybe that’s not as funny in the retelling…
It’s still pretty funny in the retelling. Did Big Shot realize that people were laughing at him, not with him?
They didn’t laugh in his face, gbear but there’s no question he saw the kid rolling his eyes so I think he knew he fucked up. Kids around here are brats but they’re sharp.
Damn, I’d love nothing more than to meet up with you guys while introducing myself by saying, “Shalom gentlemen…”.
Gary–where else do you comment, BTW? It’d be absolutely hilarious to see you surrounded by people who think like you. Or even those who don’t but who take you seriously. That last option may not be possible though, but please at least tell us where else you go to annoy folks. Least you can do, really.
Lawnguylander,
They’re Mooninites! And the naked guy was there in the waning hours of 2005, which raises the question of what he was doing naked in Winter…
But anyway, I think we’ll be safe on Sunday (5:00 pm, People’s Republik, 876 Mass Ave, Cambridge)!
Also, I love that media-guy-being-dumber-than-a-4th-grader story. Can you give any clues as to the identity of Mr. Big Shot?
Please?
Pretty pleeeee-eeee-ase?
I really think the rogering doesn’t seem quite fulfilling unless it’s soundly.
[…] Read the rest of this great post here […]
Oh right, mooninites are the ones aligned with Al Qaeda while moonikins are in league with Iran. How embarrassing. But whatever they’re called you’d have to be a fool not to think they’re going to come back to finish the job.
If I reveal the guy’s name my ambition to be the HCiC of the local youth sports organization would be in trouble. Plus my son is friends with his younger son and his wife is such a nice person so I don’t have the heart.
Lawnguylander,
Oh well. I tried. You should feel proud that you resisted the pull of big kitteh eyes!
Doodle Bean, you owe me one computer monitor for that little stunt…
I think this Gary’s broken… I chose the snack cake at b3 and I got the supersized screed, and it’s stale. I want my money back.
Pretty pleeeee-eeee-ase?
Good Lord, how much coke has that cat HAD?
Did you see this?
http://borgman.enquirer.com/Search.aspx?dt=2008/4/23
Look at the Wednesday cartoon…someone owes you props!
[…] Read the rest of this great post here […]
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