I’m so depressed
Welp, apparently Obama is now unqualified to be president because he eats vegetables.
I used to get a kick out of mocking the French. Now I realize they were right about us all along.
UPDATE: OH MY GOD. Roger Simon, channeling the goddamn Heathers:
Clinton’s statement was not as important as her downing that shot of whiskey. Presidential campaigning is about image making, and there is no better image than being a man (or woman) of the people. Who is actually less elitist or more in touch with average Americans makes little difference.
I am not sure that Hillary Clinton of Wellesley College and Yale Law School feels the pain of ordinary people any more keenly than Barack Obama of Columbia University and Harvard Law School. They are both lawyers who are married to lawyers. They are both millionaires. They both live in very nice houses. Wolves have not gathered at their doors in a long time. But while Americans place the office of the presidency on a pedestal and demand (though they do not always receive) higher standards from our presidents, we also demand that they be like us.
Goddammit you stupid preppy Villager asshole, I demand no such fucking thing. I don’t want the people I elect to government to down shots. I don’t want them to clear brush. I vote for them to run the goddamn government. What the hell is wrong with you demented freaks? This shit is important – it really matters to people. Both Clinton and Obama supporters give blood, sweat and tears to their candidates because they are sick and goddamn tired of our government being run by a pack of incompetent, war-mongering jack-offs and they want the government to be run by sane people for a change. I repeat: this shit is important. And if you don’t believe me, you can ask all those thousands of dead Iraqis if they give a rat’s ass whether the president of the United States likes to drink beer. Jesus H., you’re a grotesque monster.
Can someone paraphrase the link for me? I’m afraid to visit anything posted there.
I will not click that link, no sir. But I do have to wonder what Food Commissar Malkin would deem Patriotically Correct. Does he have to put Cheez Wiz on everything? It’s O.K. for him to have a BBQ, just so long as he doesn’t use foreign ham, right? Is there any sandwich where it would be acceptable to put swiss on, or must it always be American “Cheese”?
These things are very important, you know.
Some remark about the rising cost of arugala + bittergate = hilarious poster where Barry HUSSEIN Osama calls people “ignorant hicks.”
But the dittoheads are quick to point out that he think he’s “elitist,” not “uppity.”
Jesus, the arugula statement was in JULY.
When does opportunist become sociopath ?
War profiteer ? Lynching party ? Food critic ?
From the comments, I submit this without comment:
“I’d love to see another real-life couple in the White House like W. and Laura.”
And who’s the elitist, a man talking to farmers about how US farm policy should help move farmers to higher profit specialty produce rather than prop up the current monoculture system, or people who think Iowa farmers are too damn stupid to know what arugula is?
From the comments, I submit this without comment:
“I’d love to see another real-life couple in the White House like W. and Laura.”
Stupid WordPress ate my comment, but I was going to point out the same comment. Really, no words are necessary (or possible).
I’ve never read one of Malkin’s comments sections before. She attracts some real geniuses.
WordPress can suck mine.
“I’d love to see another real-life couple in the White House like W. and Laura.”
There were some comments that were clearly sarcastic – hopefully that was one of them.
The fact is, here in the Heartland
Don’t you see? It all makes sense. Bush, Sr. hated broccoli so much that he ordered it removed from Air Force One. His hatred of vegetables shows just how much of a “salt of the earth” type of guy he is.
Define confused.
umm.. why all these personal attacks lately? Many seem to be based on silly things like what food Obama eats and the shock and horror of Hillary knocking back a shooter. How about more about their politics, that’s what concerns me, and what should be concerning everyone else, not what they did or did not eat for breakfast. C’mon Michelle, I’ve been an avid follower here for a long time, but you seen to be lowering your standards lately.. just because the left do it, doesn’t mean you have to.
Who is elitist — Barack or the person who doesn’t think Iowans know what arugula is? They (and a bunch of other farm states) fucking grow the shit! I mean that’s really what this is; it’s mocking Obama because he doesn’t know what the wingnuts already know — that all Midwesterners are ignorant fucks. Malkin and her jackass crew are the true elitists. Otherwise they would know that you can get arugula (and other fancy shit) at any number of midwestern grocery chains — Hy-vee, Kroger, etc.
Never mind that Obama was making a point about food prices — a very relevant topic in light of recent news. The world is having fucking food riots. When are the wingnuts going to talk about that? (Probably only to charge that the biofuel movement is killing people. More petroleum, please!)
As an aside, if you would pass up the opportunity to sample $100/lb. ham because you want to eat some overcooked meat covered in ersatz cheese, you are a dumb fuck with the palate of a 3 year old.
That Malkin comment is the most astonishing thing I’ve ever read on at least eight levels.
Why aren’t they talking about recipegate?
I adore this indignant comment: “iceberg is fine with me!”
WTF? Iceberg sucks! Why not go to one of the numerous greenmarkets in Brooklyn or the Village or the Union Square Farmers’ Market and treat yourself to some variety? What’s wrong with these stupid rubes?
How is Arugula more elitist than the Ahi Tuna recipe Cindy McCain plagiarized?
You’re missing the hilarity of that post, which veers into an extended anti-CafePress rant because they pulled MM’s merchandise depicting Obama holding arugala and hating America.
It’s been said before, but an MM post is watching insanity in Real Time.
Malkin and her jackass crew are the true elitists. Otherwise they would know that you can get arugula (and other fancy shit) at any number of midwestern grocery chains — Hy-vee, Kroger, etc.
Check the comments – even her jackass crew are abandoning her on this one, and linking to Safeway $1.99 arugula ads.
And as long as I’m here, I just want to point out that I have coverage of Juicegate and Pizzagate on my blog…
Fools like Malkin think they smell blood in the water. I look forward to November.
Love you like a fresh vegetable
Now tell me, do you love Tony Rebel?
Really? This is all I see:
Arugula?
OK, putting aside that it sounds like a foreign word for something you cough up from your lungs, it still sounds like it violates the proper order of the food chain: you don’t eat leafy plants yourself, but rather feed them to a pig, cow, or chicken …. then kill and eat the pig, cow or chicken.
The Fact is, arugula sounds foreign, and therefore we in The Heartland fear it. We Patriots are simple folk who don’t understand things like “Whole Foods” and when politicians talk about grocery brands we are unfamiliar with, we become angry and confused. The Fact is, I’m glad we have benevolent opinion makers like Mrs. Malkin to tell us when we are being condescended to by elitists, because otherwise we’d never know. The Fact is, B. O. Hussein is an elitist and probably gay because he eats vegetables and is slim and attractive looking, rather than looking like a true Champion of Freedom and Rugged Heartland Patriot like Rush Limbaugh or Micheal Savage. He also eats ham from Spain, and they are almost as bad as the French.
Oh, this is getting good.
In another two weeks, they’re just going to be jumping up and down and pointing at Obama while they make farting noises with their hands in their armpits.
While the press and the pundits pantomime chimps, walking bent-kneed and scratching at their side while going “Oooh Ooooh Ooooh”.
It honestly has very little clearance where it actually COULD get stupider.
And y’know, even if people are stupid, they ain’t THAT stupid…
mikey
Mikey! You lived through last night! I was worried….
That elitist John Kerry and his green tea-drinking ways.
How dare he keep his cancer in remission? He should just give up and die, like real Americans.
But I do have to wonder what Food Commissar Malkin would deem Patriotically Correct.
Onion rings, obviously!
And according to Ann Althouse, they’re fried vaginas!
It’s only going to get stupider from here on out folks… In fact we have the absolute best conditions for the perfect storm of stupid. The Republican party is bankrupt, morally, financially and ideologically. They can’t campaign on the economy. They can’t campaign on Iraq.Their only hope for victory is that they can paint the democratic nominee as unworthy of the office. It’s their only play and they know it.
Personally, I can’t wait for the meme “Barak Hussein Obama hates black people.” Coming oh, June or July ’08 to an election near you.
“In another two weeks, they’re just going to be jumping up and down and pointing at Obama while they make farting noises with their hands in their armpits.”
Y’know, I tried to do this. Mikey, do you have three arms?
“Barak Hussein Obama hates black people.”
The ultimate Teh Stupid! I love it.
I’m desparately blog-whoring here, people. Click on my g-spot.
it still sounds like it violates the proper order of the food chain: you don’t eat leafy plants yourself, but rather feed them to a pig, cow, or chicken …. then kill and eat the pig, cow or chicken.
Did Malkin really write that?
Because I may now have to double down on “chokes on her own bile” AND “bowel obstruction” in the Malkinwatch betting pool.
Did Malkin really write that?
No, that’s from one of the Malkintents, not Our Lady of Perpetual Outrage herself.
And again more elitist bullshit. I make good money picking argula, and John McCain can suck it.
Click on my g-spot.
So I take it you are capable of bloginal orgasms?
Ah yes, Hy-Vee. Where there’s a helpful smile in every aisle.
A step above the discussion at michellemalkin.com: Cat plays theremin; other cat watches.
As for biofuel, it looks like algae will be the way of the future. Closed systems coupled with a power plant pump CO2 directly to the algae, preventing it from even entering the atmosphere.
So remember, don’t call a neo-con pond scum, because it’s actually a complement. 😉
Arugula is like lettuce, only it has flavor. I can see why the Heartland despises it. If they can’t melt a gallon of velveeta over something, those people don’t like it!
Click on my g-spot.
I think you are looking for Glenn Reynolds. He’s over there. /points
I’m not a robosexual.
Actually overheard in the restaurant where I had lunch today:
I tuned in because the dude was babbling about “Revelations”. Anytime you overhear that word you know you’re in for some unintended hilarity.
Then he shifts gears to Obama. Says, “He’s John Walker without the mustache.” (John Walker is a black attorney in Little Rock who kept the city school district tied up in deseg lawsuits for something like 20+ years.) At this point, I look at the people at the table…three old white guys. And I’m fighting the urge to just jump in and say, “Oh, how is he like John Walker, other than being black and inconvenient for white people?” but I restrain myself. But then he pops out with something along the lines of “did you see John McCain was on CNN yesterday and he said blah blah blah and for the FIRST TIME, I was just really impressed with him…” and I’m thinking, oh, you noticed how WHITE OLD GUY he is but keep it to myself…but I couldn’t keep a vocal “good lord” from escaping. And the kid in front of me turns around and kinda looks at me, and I say, I’m sorry, I just really hate hearing ignorant people discuss politics. And the kid starts cracking up, cause he’s been hearing it too…he goes on to tell me he’s supporting Obama and has gotten registered to vote, he’s really pumped up about voting and hearing stuff like we overheard just makes him more determined to get Obama elected.
I kind of doubt arugula means jack shit to that kid, other than something that might show up in a restaurant salad.
Anyway, just kind of an interesting little incident from here in redneck land.
*sigh* Brad, I worry for you.
For people all set financially, it doesn’t matter. Roger figures he’ll have a job no matter what.
That’s why he’s such a douche bag. You have to let it go, or you’re postal potential.
Expect the worse, and hope for the best. And good luck. You’re doing a great job at what you do, so you are doing more than most. Keep up the good work.
How old is that asshole? He sounds like the sniveling dweeb who used to hang out with the jocks and made fun of all the uncool kids, even though no one actually respected him. God, I hate our press corps.
Does the Heartland know that you can put Ranch dressing on arugula.
Goddammit you stupid preppy Villager asshole, I demand no such fucking thing. I don’t want the people I elect to government to down shots. I don’t want them to clear brush. I vote for them to run the goddamn government. What the hell is wrong with you demented freaks? This shit is important – it really matters to people. Both Clinton and Obama supporters give blood, sweat and tears to their candidates because they are sick and goddamn tired of our government being run by a pack of incompetent, war-mongering jack-offs and they want the government to be run by sane people for a change. I repeat: this shit is important. And if you don’t believe me, you can ask all those thousands of dead Iraqis whether the president of the United States likes to drink beer. Jesus H., you’re a grotesque monster.
I just had to post that again because it is SO good.
And they are SO dumb.
Roger Simon Sez:
Roger just needs a decent editor, you see?
Roger just needs a decent editor, you see?
He needs a good hard kick in the nads.
I don’t care that Hillary drank a shot. I do not care that it was crown royal. I probably wouldn’t care if she converted to vampirism and ordered the blood of the finest virgin in the town. As bradrocket so eloquently put, there are bigger things to worry about.I want the US to stop behaving like a drunken idiot on the world stage. I want a government that exhibits some slight degree of competence in handling day to day business.
As I see it, there are two candidates for President who have a slight possibility of making that crazy, crazy dream come true. I have a slight preference for one, but the other will, in a pinch do. The other choice for president seems to want to finish the job of destroying a country that I love. Past that, honestly, does anything matter?
This seems like a good time to note that Obama’s polling numbers have actually been improving over the past several days, and I think they will only go higher. It seems that the stupider the “story”, the bigger the bounce for him.
Relax, Brad. Once this primary bullshit is over, this campaign is going to be fun. Imagine all the material you’ll have. As several above me have pointed out, we are headed for a perfect storm of stupid from Republicans and the media, but the good news is, the voters ain’t fallin’ for it this time.
“Fools like Malkin think they smell blood in the water. I look forward to November.”
They do, it’s theirs.
I’d like to add WordPress’s vital fluids to the water….
Me and myself and Pollyanna are going to have a big party, Brad.
Come on over, you’re invited!
Curl, I heard a winger on the radio the other day talking about the food riots.
He was blaming Al Gore. For scaring people with the global warming and making them think they were going to starve.
As a genius once said- post hoc, ergo whatthefuck….
Yep. Ain’t it funny how the same people who whine how “we’re slipping into a nanny state” act like complete children when it comes to candidates? As I said before, if you act like children, the government is going to treat you like children.
Osama eats vegetables??? Real USA Americans of the heartland live off of pemmican and jerky, with occasional brambles thrown in for roughage.
You LIE-bruls need to get right with G-d and learn to eat real food, rather than those fancy-dan *vegetables* that you’re always goin’ on about!
As for Roger Simon Agnosties, that’s what you get for reading The Politico. People keep calling it a liberal pub and I keep laughing at them.
And if I find out that Rug Burned in Montana’s posts come through without any problem I will be extra super hella pissed.
Do they really think that they’re so high class as that everything that they get is unavailable to the “rubes”? I’m so sick of these turds acting like we’ve never seen indoor plumbing before, because that’s how they make this shit sound. Don’t they realize that regular people go out for expensive steaks, too? That Crown Royal whiskey is available in just about every bar I’ve been in? Or that a fucking McDonald’s McValue Side Salad has arugula in it? (well, at least the last time I had one…may not be so now)
But Liberals and Democrats are out of touch? Ha, you know who’s really out of touch? Some asslicking, poo-flinging fuckers who wear $100 bills as loincloths and drink shitty $70 vodka as if it was the best thing ever when it really tastes like nailpolish remover, while they hold contests to see who can belch the loudest. And think that us rubes are supposed to jealous of them, or that we’d be flattered if they ask us to clean up their poo, like it’s gold-encrusted shit and doesn’t smell.
I agree – they should just shut the fuck up.
Arugula’s pretty good in mixed greens, but I think for a single leaf salad I’d rather have spinach or romaine.
What I want to know is when it stopped getting called rocket/roquette (and for that matter, why it got called that in the first place).
And if I find out that Rug Burned in Montana’s posts come through without any problem I will be extra super hella pissed.
Those of us in the heartland who have pledged allegiance to our jet pilot war hero of the Battle of Iraq, George Willard Bush, are granted a special NSA circuit that bypasses WordPress. You LIE-bruls are lucky you’re allowed on the innertubes at all!
I think it is important to find out whether or not Obama can throw a Frisbee. CAN HE THROW A FRISBEE? HUH?
A lot of people don’t bother about their friends in the
VEGETABLE KINGDOM. They think, “What can i say?
What can a person like myself say to a vegetable?” But
the answer is simple, my friends . . . just call . . . and
tell them how you feel . . . about MUFFINS, PUMPKINS,
WAX PAPER, CALEDONIA, MAHOGANIES, ELBOWS
AND GREEN THINGS IN GENERAL . . . and soon: A
NEW RAPPORT! You and your new little green & yellow
buddies . . . grooving together! OH NO! Maintaining
your coolness together! Worshipping together in the
church of your choice! ONLY IN AMERICA! Woh-oh-oh-
ah-agh-h . . .
CALL ANY VEGETABLE
CALL IT BY NAME
YOU GOTTA CALL ONE TODAY
WHEN YOU GET OFF THE TRAIN
CALL ANY VEGETABLE
AND THE CHANCES ARE GOOD
AR-R-H-R THAT THE VEGETABLE
WILL RESPOND TO YOU
I believe that anything is elitist unless it can be submitted *and accepted* as a cartoon idea for Pluggers:
http://www.pluggers.com/daily/index.html
I noticed you didn’t mention Brussels sprouts, Doctorb.
CAN HE THROW A FRISBEE? HUH?
Hell yeah.
And even more importantly.
Can he write his name in piss without falling down?
Yes. His WHOLE name.
THAT’S what matters to me…
mikey
Let’s just see who can let out the biggest fart at a 7-11 picked at random at 3 AM. That would be an authentic American.
“Those of us in the heartland who have pledged allegiance to our jet pilot war hero of the Battle of Iraq, George Willard Bush, are granted a special NSA circuit that bypasses WordPress.”
Ha! That’s all you know. WordPress gobbles up the yummy comments but it won’t touch ones like yours.
Pffffft!
Brussles Sprouts are Europeans and therefore elitist. Carrots are vegetables-of-the-people. Potatoes are Papist scum.
WordPress is dead to me.
The candidate driving around in the biggest truck with the biggest truck nads will probably win, if these retards are anything to go by.
Heh – I commuted to a high school off the island I used to live on for a year, and I had the folks in the new place convinced that my home, with a population of 10,000 and some of the most expensive real estate in Canada, just got their first car in 1988.
Had to keep myself amused somehow!
And since when is whiskey (or whiskey) a Kmart/Wal Mart drink? I’ve got $1800 worth in my liquor cabinet right now, and it’s elite as all hell!
Potatoes are natural born Murkins!
come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever SEEN a black guy throw a frisbee….
Whut th’ hell is THIS crap?
Layh-Froig? Say whut, pansey?
You DRINK this crap, or you dab it behind your ears?
Buncha homos don’t even know whut whiskey’s all about.
Whiskey is bourbon, boy.
This Layh – Froig is some kinda Euro Trash booze.
And it tastes like somethin’ you’d put on a chancre or somethin’…
“He needs a good hard kick in the nads.”
I say cock punch.
Also, cock punch word press.
OT – I just investigated the source of a traffic spike to my blog.
Loverly.
(WARNING – Hot Air. gotta scroll – I can’t make the link to the comment work. Argh!)
We go to blog with the word press we wish we had, not with the wordpr
Ah fuckit.
I say cock punch.
And why not?
“Cock Punch” is a good thing to say.
As phrases go, it’s a nine.
Or. You could make Cock Punch.
You start with a Bag of Dicks.
Macerate them with with Balsamic Vinegar and Fish Sauce.
Put the macerating dicks in a clay pot and bury it in the yard opposite the pool.
Come back later.
{LATER}
Ok. Take the macerated dicks out of the clay pot.
NO! Don’t inhale. It’s NASTY!
Spread them out on a tarp in the sun and turn them twice a day until they lose most of their moisture.
Now you can steep them in any whole fruit juice to make a wonderful cock punch.
Yum….
mikey
How about donkey punch and cock slap?
Hey, remember how 9/11 was going to make everyone take everything really seriously, and how Americans would no longer be obsessed with the vacuous details of a politician’s vegetable diet or bowling score or the celebrity inspired-hoo-ha that dominates the news, and instead, really, truly engage with not only their country’s shaky political situation, but also, um, the world?
It was Crown she snarfed down? Aint that some frenchified Canuckian shite? Rotgut. Old Overcoat. Might as well chug paint thinner.
And it’s spelled “whisky” ya blouse wearin’ poodle walkers.
WordPress ate my homework.
Ha! Just kidding!
This is like that part at the end of the movie where the evil popular girl pushes it too far and loses her posse. You know how it goes, she launches into a really nasty rant to try to crush the main character, but then everyone else sees what an even bitch she is and she ends up with mascara running down her face and no boyfriend and probably some food on her.
The more rich media types gloat about how redneck country hicks are too retarded to even understand Obama’s speeches, the more Obama becomes “us” and they become “them”.
macerated, heh.
I agree with Frank about the vegetables.
Also, Tom Tomorrow does Johah.
Mama drinks because you cry, little girl. Because you cry.
They think arugula is an upscale vegetable?
WTF?
It’s a pungent weed.
Great on sandwiches with ‘upscale fruits’ like tomatoes and avocados.
The fact is, Michael Moore is fat. And liberals are gay faggots.
Eruca sativa (syn. E. vesicaria subsp. sativa (Miller) Thell., Brassica eruca L.)
OMG it’s brassica! That explains a lot right there.
Anyway, for whoever asked, “eruca” –>
Italian: arugula
french: roquette
Murrican: rocket
Malkin’s ignorant screeds can only benefit Obama.
Gary, maybe we should get together and discuss what’s tearing us apart. Perhaps at my hotel tonight, say, eightish? Bring your copy of “Liberal Fascism” and I’ll read to you in the Jacuzzi tub.
Carrots are vegetables-of-the-people.
I heard that carrots are from the Middle East. Even worse, the Romans used to eat them as aphrodisiacs. It must be true — I read it on the Interducts.
I also heard that Peter Lorre was offered the chance to play WordPress in a movie once, but he turned down the role, for fear of the damage it would do to his image.
The fact is, arugula is an effeminate vegetable.
A carrot is manly.
McCain would eat a carrot.
Can Hillary play Marian the Librarian in a community production of The Music Man? WELL CAN SHE?
Maybe the argument makes sense to them precisely because, on some level, they know how childish they are?
WordPress was written by capuchin monkeys.
Yes, a carrot is manly.
http://www.all4humor.com/picture/celebrity-pictures/carrot-lover-bush.html
McCain would eat an onion raw just to prove how manly he is. Then he would rub it into his eyes and growl like a bear chasing a puma.
Then he would walk into a tree.
WordPress got drunk and hit on Jonah Goldberg.
‘upscale fruits’ like tomatoes and avocados
Have you bought avocados and tomatoes lately? I had to take out a mortgage on my bike just to make a nice guacamole.
In my dreams, I am stalked by celery.
Can’t beat arugula and thick sliced tomato in a chicken tonnato sandwich.
Yes, chicken tonnato – yet another bit of culinary brilliance my friend Jaques Pepin came up with.
[can’t help it – I’m a shameless namedropper]
Yes, a carrot is manly.
So how small is George W. Bush’s penis exactly that he has to enhance it with carrots and codpieces? Is that what the past 7 fucking years have been about? I used to think that it was simplistic to blame the war on oil, but I’m learning that you really can’t underestimate these people.
Don’t all the Christ-humpers claim to love those insipid “Veggie Tales” videos? Surely there’s a fine upstanding Baptist arugula character in one of those they can relate to.
pedestrian said,
April 16, 2008 at 4:40
Yes, a carrot is manly.
So how small is George W. Bush’s penis exactly that he has to enhance it with carrots and codpieces? Is that what the past 7 fucking years have been about? I used to think that it was simplistic to blame the war on oil, but I’m learning that you really can’t underestimate these people.
The Commander in Codpiece is nothing but a fucking puppet.
Follow the money!
Somwhat OT, but you’ve got to see Roy Edroso’s post at Vanity Fair:
http://www.villagevoice.com/news/0816,a-confederacy-of-dunces,411897,1.html/1
Alicublog on steroids.
Yes.
SA2SQ
Similarly WordPress has a mini-micropenis and it compensates by stuffing our posts down its pants.
That’s The Village Voice. Or a vagina. One of those V words.
Why Don’t You Eat Carrots?
Is it really that orange?
Not with those rented teeth, he wouldn’t. Well, maybe if it was a much younger carrot with $100 million in the bank.
Funny you should say that; I was just recently commenting on her increasing physical resemblance to Shirley Jones.
“McCain would eat a carrot.”
Mad Jack can shove a large carrot far up his ass. Preferably a large California-grown winter storage type carrot, not a small, dainty haute cuisine type carrot.
Then he could chug a large glass of Mikey’s cock punch. And shove another large carrot up his ass.
Hell, he could shove an entire salad bar up his ass, including the sneeze guard.
So how small is George W. Bush’s penis exactly that he has to enhance it with carrots and codpieces?
Now now, let’s not be size queens, shall we? Besides, I’m sure Laura isn’t even moist by the time W is snoring away.
Just a suggestion: If you’re prone to getting the two confused …
Forget it, you’re on your own.
If McCane would shove WordPress up his ass I …
Well, I wouldn’t vote for him but I might stop snarking on his old ass.
For a few minutes.
While I was asleep.
Now now, let’s not be size queens, shall we? Besides, I’m sure Laura isn’t even moist by the time W is snoring away.
Which one is soused before the other even gets up?
That has to be the prettiest nine sentences penned on teh tubez in a long long time. At the very least, ever since this primary went in to Hyper-Gonzo™ mode. All I can say is, whoa. Oh, and I need a drink.
Shorter John McCain: WordPress is a stupid cunt.
And don’t forget a trollop who plasters on the make-up with a trowel! My husband really knows how to sweet-talk a drug-addled heiress!
I want my president to be a hobo in a boxcar cooking an old shoe in a cast-iron skillet. Anything else would be elitist.
Here’s what Obama needs to do:
He needs to go to the movies, in a public movie theater, with the press corps in attendance, and yell at the movie screen.
“Don’t go in there, you stupid ho! The monster be in there!”
“Man, that sister is fine! I would hit it!”
“I knew that homey did it! I knew it the whole movie!”
“Don’t tell me to shut up, honky! I paid my $7!”
That would take care of all this ridiculous “elitist” business. And we could then move on to the next round of nonsensical conservative sophistries.
Don’t call me honky!
That’s interesting.
MY candidate IS an old shoe cooking a hobo in a cast iron skillet.
And I’m entirely comfortable with that…
mikey
And if you don’t believe me, you can ask all those thousands of dead Iraqis whether the president of the United States likes to drink beer.
Believe me, I’m with you, but I can hear the fRightard response now: “Do those dead Iraqis vote? No? Then fuck’em.”
McCain would eat a carrot.
He would eat it like he was sucking a cock…..
Since when did “doesn’t eat his veggies” translate into “regular joe” and not “petulant child?” I’m thinking that real elitism is when one conflates “regular joe” with “petulant child.”
Quite so, lobbey. I meant to add that if the carrot was projecting from a flightsuit, he would swallow it to the balls.
gbear’s picture disturbs me on several levels.. the girls in back seem genuinely concerned about their co-worker, and dub-u seems lost in some bittersweet memory of a Yale male bonding ritual..
There are days I can’t laugh at this shit anymore. I just want to take a cast iron frying pan and beat these horseshit talkers over the head until they STFU forever.
Bill– “not uppity” EXACTLY!!
Lesley–it’s a bit too much, isn’t it?
Um…Malkin…I bought a bag of arugla from fucking Kroger yesterday for $1.99.
Eventually having food will be too elitists.
The “great” thing is, there’s no middle ground between “pardon me, but this is the ’54 Margaux; I believe I asked for the ’53” and “wheah mah mothafuckin ice tea at, bitch?”. The game is rigged and the goalposts are on little carts.
Conversely, St. BBQ could get up in front of a crowd and say “How many of you rubes wanna buy a gold-covered lead brick? I got a bus full of ’em — er, gold bricks! Pure gold bricks I meant” and that just shows that he’s unafraid to speak plainly to the ordinary people.
You have to log in over there to post a comment.
NEVER!!!1!!1!
Seriously, what a bunch of chickenshit cowards.
They’re afraid of LETTUCE.
It’s no wonder they piss the bed every night from their nightmares about how brown people are going to steal their jobs, wimmins and flatscreens then kill them.
First: anyone who can’t tell the difference between “whiskey” and “whisky” should be condemned to a lifetime of Alberta vodka and Screech,
Second: Arugula is arugula if you’re eating it and rocket if you’re growing it. That shit grows fast!
Shit, this is sooooooo sickening. I would love to have an army of helicopters with giant megaphones flying all over America while yelling this message into each and every home:
WAKE UP, DUMBASSES, IT’S NOT ABOUT ARUGULA, CHEESESTEAKS AND WHISKY ANYMORE! WE GOT REAL ISSUES TO BE ADDRESSED!
If this is what it boils down to in political communication / commentary, no wonder people are increasingly sick of, and cynical towards, politics.
Wowsers … now I know why these folks are so hot for a War On Drugs – they want them ALL for themselves.
Yeah, there are real food riots going down, right now, in a bunch of places that looked to’ve gotten past that sort of ugliness. I get the funny feeling that one’s liking or disliking vegetables whilst running for office doesn’t play so good in those places. The surreal-button is going waaaaaay up at this point, if you’ve got the mental antennae to catch it – but trust me, it’s got a damn sight farther to go yet before most of us get The Wake-Up Call. I suspect that will be very sudden, & very unpleasant.
Pleasant … dreams?
[…] people out. Indeed, the only times that the media ever gave Clinton any respect at all was when she clumsily tried to prove her working-class cred by downing shots. You get the feeling that if Hillary had done more to keep our elite press corps […]
It’s just ROCKET SALAD, people.