Working class GOP pollsters
Glen Bolger, Republican pollster: “It’s never helpful to be dismissive of whole chunks of America — rural religious voters, gun supporters, and the entire ‘flyover’ country. Obama has become part of the Kerry wing of the Democratic Party — the beautiful people who know what’s best for the rest of us.

And who the fuck is Glen Bolger, you ask? Why, he’s this guy:
Glen Bolger is one of the Republican Party’s leading political strategists and pollsters. He is a partner and co-founder of Public Opinion Strategies, a national political and public affairs survey research firm whose clients include leading political figures, Fortune 500 companies, and major associations. Public Opinion Strategies has 20 U.S. Senators, eight governors, and more than 50 Members of Congress as clients. […]
Glen’s corporate polling experience includes crisis management polling for some of the top issues in recent years, as well as image and message work for major clients such as Wal-Mart, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Florida, Tyson Foods, BNSF Railway, Intuit (the makers of Quicken), and numerous other Fortune 500 companies.
Prior to co-founding Public Opinion Strategies, Glen was the Director of Survey Research & Analysis for the National Republican Congressional Committee, the political arm of the House Republican Caucus.
God, does he sound like he’s in touch with the common man!
Call me a liberal elitist if you must, but the fact that corporate fat cats get to pass themselves off in the press as blue-collar salt-of-the-Earthers just goes to show how fucked up this country really is.
UPDATE: Sadly, Mark Ames’ utterly brilliant political analysis of American public discourse is still devastatingly relevant:
The left struggles to understand why so many non-millionaire Americans vote Republican, and yet they rarely ask themselves why so many millionaires, particularly the most beautiful and privileged millionaires in Manhattan and Los Angeles, vote for the Democrats.
I can answer both. Rich, beautiful, coastal types are liberal precisely because their lives are so wonderful. They want to preserve their lives exactly as they are. If I were a rich movie star, I’d vote for peace and poverty relief. War and domestic insurrection are the greatest threats to their already-perfect lives—why mess with it? This rational fear of the peasantry is frequently misinterpreted as rich guilt, but that’s not the case. They just want to pay off all the have-nots to keep them from storming their manors and impaling them on stakes.
Republican elites don’t set off the spite glands in the same way, and it’s not only because of a sinister right-wing propaganda machine. Take a look at a photo of the late billionaire Sam Walton, a dried-out Calvinist in a baseball cap and business suit, and you’ll see why. If Republican billionaires enjoy their wealth, they sure as hell hide it well. As far as one can tell, Republican billionaires genuinely like working 18-hour days in offices. Their idea of having fun is a day on the golf green (a game as slow and frustrating as a day in the office) or attending conferences with other sleazy, cheerless Calvinist billionaires. If that’s what all their wealth got them, let ’em have it—so says the spite bloc. This explains why the Republican elite—the only true and all-powerful elite in America today—is not considered an “elitist” class in the spleens of the white male have-nots.
I wish this guy would write about our country more often. He’s so, so right. Also, he calls the Bush presidency “Inspector Clouseau meets the Book of Revelations,” which is about an apt description as you’ll ever see.
If Obama keeps up his elitist attitude towards working class Americans we are going to see vital swing states such as Michigan and Pennsylvania switch over of the Republican side this November.
I for one hope Obama continues with his elitist anti-American rhetoric. It will only serve to help John McCain win the Presidency. The future of America is at stake, I hope McCain capitalizes on Obama’s elitist slandering of Middle America.
Ahhh! Weekend S,N! Overload! Here I’ve been muttering and bee-yotching about you lumps actually sleeping in on sats and suns, and now my whelms are totally overed. Oh boy, a whole day of SN! Yeah! Thanks!
You aren’t just a liberal elitist. You are also a fascist.
Never forget that.
Yes, Matt, the future of America is at stake, presumably because a moron has been in office for the past 8 years. So I suppose we could let McCain drive the last nail into the coffin and start America over again. Maybe the best thing for America is to let it hit rock bottom, so we can have that fresh start. McCain could use that as his campaign slogan; something like, ” One hundred years from now, when the Iraq War is finally over, this country will be stronger than Chad.” I’d actually consider voting for the guy if he went with that nonelitist slogan.
Why do these Republicans all look like they were assembled using play-do, and a fuzzy Brooks’s Brothers advertisement as a guide?
I’m with you OTB, my whelms are tender and swollen.
In a good way, though.
Honestly? I don’t need to read his expert commentary to know how wrong he is. He chose to publish that picture.
Bolger sounds like a guy who has his pinger on the fulse of America.
Heh. His company acronym is P.O.S.
I love this. It’s so perfect.
Obama points out that the working class people who have suffered under every administration since Reagan might be a little bitter about their experience and out of desperation vote on issues other than economic security because they’ve pretty much come to understand that nobody is willing to spend the political and economic capital on their plight required to begin to turn the situation around, and that makes him “elitest”.
Man, the defenders of the status quo are truly scared of this guy. Their desperation is starting to stink pretty bad. When people say there is no difference between the repubs and the dems, I think this is what they’re seeing. Everybody’s invested in the process as it exists today. They see only personal loss and defeat in challenging that status quo, and that is much more important to them than actually governing in the interest of the american people.
And Obama just goes on, calmly pointing out the actual message behind the personal attacks, asking in this case (you can see the vid on TPM) “do you think the people are NOT bitter?” And mccain called Obama “out of touch”, and Obama responded “It took him three tries to even decide that home foreclosures were a problem and he says I’M out of touch?”.
Obama has discovered a winning formula. You actually can, it turns out, TALK to the americans, in words and paragraphs, not just in pithy phrases, and you can bring up actual issues and confront them, and the american population, starved for an actual opportunity to participate in their own governance, lead him relentlessly towards the oval office. And even if the tv news will not air his words, but only pundits analyzing his words in an incredibly disingenuous fashion, the intert00bz provide him with all the access he needs.
And the people invested in the status quo will continue, ever more desperately to derail that relentless march. Hold on to your seats, folks, this is going to be a bumpy ride…
mikey
Amen Mikey
It’s a toss-up as to whether he should sue his barber or if his barber should sue him for displaying his work in such a horrid light.
Strategy meetings at his firm must be mindboggling exercises in projection.
I can’t tell if he’s smiling in that picture or if his mouth is closed and he has a weird swollen lip.
Fake identity. He’s really that TImmy guy from the Whitest Kids U Know pulling an amazing prank.
Ssssshh.
Republican pollsters always have the Democratic party’s best interests at heart and their advice should always be listened to. So says Glen Bolger, professional concern troll, so say we all.
ditto Amen Mikey. Obama really nails it in that clip.
Everybody knows Wet Start McCain was born a poor black child, who pulled himself up with his own boot straps.
Not like that
scary black manivory-towered elitist, Obama!Out of the wordpress and into the spam filter, damnit.
I don’t know how these Republican PR stooges can get a vote out of anybody. To a man they’re half used car salesman and half Pillsbury Dough Boy.
Dear Sadly,
Fix WordPress, or find another comment system.
[This is my third attempt at getting through…]
I kinda like Obama’s approach here: say things that get the wingers and their enablers in the corporate media frothing at the mouth, and then when they demand that you apologize or clarify, hit the wingers about the face with their own well-documented failures as an explanation. He’s essentially saying, “dear GOP, kindly suck it.” He’s getting better at it too, and the wingers are clearly scared shitless.
Amen.
“And even if the tv news will not air his words, but only pundits analyzing his words in an incredibly disingenuous fashion, the intert00bz provide him with all the access he needs.”
I’m not so sure. The mass media still reaches far more people than the internet does (or so I believe). Which has me worried that the corporate strategy of shutting Obama out just might work. I sure hope not though.
I think the reason people are having problems with wordpress right now is that the session is timing out rather quickly.
Test #2
Yup, I’m nearly convinced that is it. All three above were posted shortly after one another. The first one got the error page but not the others.
Talk Left and Lambert are running with this so-called ‘gaffe’ from Obama with all the bullshit spin of Kaus and the McCain campaign. Jesus, this is really starting to piss me off and make me worry about a Dem winning in November.
Suffer makes you a better person, and Republicans want everyone to be better.
D. Aristophanes said,
April 12, 2008 at 22:23
Talk Left and Lambert are running with this so-called ‘gaffe’ from Obama with all the bullshit spin of Kaus and the McCain campaign.
Of course they are. This is why the DLC candidate should always be our last resort.
That’s some mighty special critical mass of stupid. I especially like how he believes that the only reason Liberal Elitists only pay taxes is because they don’t want the poor republicans to storm the castle and kill them all. Except that anytime liberals want ot raise taxes on rich people, that’s “class warfare”, right Rush?
Seriously. My brain just shut down.
WordPress ate my original post.
I especially love that it’s the two multi-millionaires in the race who are accusing the black guy of being “elitist”.
I’m sure that point hasn’t escaped Obama or his campaign staff either…though I fully expect the Hillary camp to do Teh Stoopid and keep pushing this phony baloney non-issue until they force the Obama campaign to use it.
I wish this guy (Mark Ames) would write about our country more often.
I think he is but as his evil Russian twin blogger, Vlad Kalashnikov.
With titles such as “Aeroflot Kicks Ameriflop’s Loser Ass”, “American Pussies Beg Iran To Talk To Them” and “Russia Buying Up American Industry”, it wouldn’t surprise me that some Neoconintern lackey had read about The Trust and decided to set a similar operation to identify dirty hippies before sending them off for re-education at some Alaskan gulag. Someone needs to build those bridges for Ted Stevens!
noen got it in one. The vast majority of Americans still aren’t really paying attention to the race, other than the sort of background noise level. Shit like this will go more-or-less unchallenged in the MSM and, later in the campaign when people do start to “pay attention” (in that half-assed American Idol watcher way) these little soundbites will be trotted out and drilled into the minds of the
sheepvoters.Obama will have his work cut out for him countering the well-oiled Republican manure spreading machine.
And WordPress was spotted on the grassy knoll Nov. 23, 1963.
Elitists across the nation are falling all over themselves to tell us regular flyover state rubes how offensive Obama is to us.
Obama is so fucked. There isn’t a racist rustbelt redneck gun nut in this country who doesn’t read the Washington Post.
Personally, I was offended of the elitism of John McCain in saying that no American would pick lettuce even for $50/dollars an hour.
Heh, indeed, pedestrian.
That kind of reminds me of that quote from Vincent Fox, about how Mexicans are willing to do the jobs that even black people don’t want to do. Which led to one of the few funny Boondocks strips ever.
pedestrian said,
April 12, 2008 at 23:24
Obama is so fucked. There isn’t a racist rustbelt redneck gun nut in this country who doesn’t read the Washington Post.
There goes the Democratic base. It’s all over now.
Why do these Republicans all look like they were assembled using play-do, and a fuzzy Brooks’s Brothers advertisement as a guide?
Susan, I was thinking “Put together by aliens who’d never seen a live human, using Crisco and those Paul Stuart line adverts from the Wall Street Journal”…
But Mikey nails it, as always: Obama might yet win me over, despite the degree to which his speaking voice rakes my nerves, because he’s doing good at pointing out just what kind of desperate hypocritical losers the Repubs are making themselves. It’s like, “We’re old enough and smart enough to choose our own meals, whether that means brown-bagging last night’s tasty leftovers or taking a real lunch hour at the good deli down the street. Why should we have to settle for overpriced, overprocessed crap just because the company cafeteria got a “deal” on generic cheese-product, chicken-byproduct chunks, and bulk coffee-flavored powder?
Although, to quote the brilliant Davis X. Machina: “The salient fact of American politics is that there are fifty to seventy million voters each of whom who will volunteer to live, with his family, in a cardboard box under an overpass, and cook sparrows on an old curtain rod, if someone would only guarantee that the black, gay, Hispanic, liberal, whatever, in the next box over doesn’t even have a curtain rod, or a sparrow to put on it.”
I’m so confused. Is Obama an elitist or an angry black man who hates whites?
g said,
April 12, 2008 at 23:50
I’m so confused. Is Obama an elitist or an angry black man who hates whites?
Yes.
He’s also a dessert topping and a floor wax.
I thought he was a mole for Islam. Sounds VERY elitist to me.
Yes those Republicans are salt of the earth, all right.
From a description of Jack Abramoff’s restaurant in DC:
The tables were set with Christofle flatware, custom Villeroy & Boch chargers, even special lint-free napkins. Guests could rent a wine locker to store their favorite vintages and buy cigars from the in-house humidor. The restaurant had a van for a while to chauffeur guests….
Food critics delivered mixed reviews, dubbing it a place for those on an expense account, and the current menu shows why. A $36 beef filet tops the dinner entrees. A lunchtime hamburger served on brioche with the chef’s own ketchup sells for $12 (goat cheese optional for an extra $2)….
Still, Signatures, which advertised that it provided “Liberal portions in a conservative setting,” became a favorite among Republicans.
Mikey, I just read that sitting here in flyover, and you’re all too right. I witnessed an interesting scene leaving the grocery store the other day. (Remember now, I moved back to my parents’ neighborhood out in the ‘outer suburbs’ after a nice stint in a 1920s built Indy suburb, after 11 mos. in the SF area, and before that 10 years in Lawrence Kansas) I noticed that the THREE cars in front of me all were sporting Obama bumper stickers, tantamount to getting threatened with a good old fashioned stoning out here. I followed, also with my Obama sticker, my fish colored in with a rainbow, and a few Human Rights Campaign = stickers for good measure. I noticed what had to be one of the few black people in this area pushing her cart to the parking lot with her baby in the seat. She just stopped, staring and smiling, as all four cars drove out in tandem.
I’ve written much about “Potter Barn Ruby Ridge”, the family I chased off the block (love that “Sale Pending” sign HAHAHA!), the Dad who even posts on his bio for his medical practice that he did his undergrad at Bob Jones U., and he’s in his 50s so this was back in the whitey only heyday there. They are hardly the only ones though. These people out here are so freakin scared of anything not status quo that I think they get the shits just from talking to me. I hugged my next door neighbor last week because I saw her Al Gore Inconvenient Truth book and exclaimed, “Oh, I knew you weren’t one of them!”.
They’re so terrified that gays will move in (or just visit) and ‘convert’ their kids, they won’t say it but they hate black people, complain endlessly about hearing Spanish spoken in stores and about the “droves” of Hispanics moving to the U.S. now. They want this stopped. They want it stopped at any cost, they really don’t seem to care. And yes Susan, they do look as much alike as possible, which is why I’m putting my oldest kid back in public school next year. At least there are some other non-white people there and they won’t flip out over an 8-year-old who wants to wear black nail polish.
They are afraid of change. Of more cosmopolitan values. They blast Rush (Limbaugh) out of their garages while the kids play together. I end up back in here on this website after these encounters because you guys aren’t just funny and insightful and damned smart, you’re a balm after people who brag that they voted for this amendment against Gay Marriage AND Civil Unions. They say they wish they could “vote” on who gets to move to the cul-de-sac.
So anyone who can’t go to SF, come out here and we’ll have “Lex’s Big Gay Dirty Mexican Lawn Party”. I’m hiring a mariachi band if I can…LOL. Otherwise, bring your own instruments and we’ll have some good fun. I have one hell of an amp, so I can rattle windows for anyone who wants to play.
Sorry for the length, Mikey just inspired me a whole lot. I moved right into this for no decent reason, but I’ve learned a LOT about these MidWestern Republicans here. And regardless of their majority out here, Obama is reaching enough people here that the stickers are EVERYWHERE now!!
A lunchtime hamburger served on brioche with the chef’s own ketchup sells for $12 (goat cheese optional for an extra $2)…
Goat cheese, ketchup, and a brioche roll? Together? Who ARE these sickos?
Above: Owns an electric tie rack
Not that I’m hung up on facial symmetry, but this photographs deserves the “Features migrating in manner of flatfish” caption.
Sorry folks but by reading and/or posting on an Internet blog you are also an elitist and unfit to have an opinion.
Don’t ya remember that from 2006?
I agree.
Goat cheese and hamburger = awesome.
Goat cheese and ketchup = puke.
Smut Clyde said,
April 13, 2008 at 0:29
Above: Owns an electric tie rack
Not that I’m hung up on facial symmetry, but this photographs deserves the “Features migrating in manner of flatfish” caption.
He’s floundering?
At least he won’t be two-faced anymore.
As far as one can tell, Republican billionaires genuinely like working 18-hour days in offices. Their idea of having fun is a day on the golf green (a game as slow and frustrating as a day in the office) or attending conferences with other sleazy, cheerless Calvinist billionaires. If that’s what all their wealth got them, let ‘em have it—so says the spite bloc. This explains why the Republican elite—the only true and all-powerful elite in America today—is not considered an “elitist” class in the spleens of the white male have-nots.
Wealthy or Poor one should always remember to be miserable…
This explains why the Republican elite—the only true and all-powerful elite in America today—is not considered an “elitist” class in the spleens of the white male have-nots.
but then their 24 year old trophy wives blow the Republican elite’s money on tattoos, tiny dogs, bigger implants and lawyer’s fees. Thus putting the money back into the economy. See Trickle-Down Economics WORK!
Barack Obama has many fringe beliefs that most Americans will find appaling including is support for unfettered abortion, his support for homosexual marriage, his opposition to the death penalty and his opposition to the second amendment. Beliefs like that will never get him elected.
Have you ever seen a rich conservative white guy on vacation? It’s all, “These prices are an outrage!!” and, “Think of how much money could be made off of that.” Midas touch indeed.
Is it me or have all the recent attacks on Obama essentially been of the “let’s hope middle America is too dumb to listen to complete sentences and just gets angry at the individual words he’s saying”:
His speech on race was “too nuanced” for real Americans to pay attention; the fact that he doesn’t order a philly cheese-steak is going to resonate very poorly with real Americans; his claims that real Americans are pissed off about losing their jobs will be seen as elitism.
I’d say the pundits were out of touch with the capacity of real Americans to think, if it weren’t for the hit he takes in the polls after each of these nuggets.
I’d say the pundits were out of touch with the capacity of real Americans to think, if it weren’t for the hit he takes in the polls after each of these nuggets.
It’s not that ordinary people can’t understand a full sentence or think think that these are the defining issues of the presidential race; it’s that this is all that ordinary people get to see of Obama these days. I wouldn’t vote for a guy who does nothing but walk around turning down sandwiches and putting his foot in his mouth either.
Goat cheese, ketchup, and a brioche roll? Together? Who ARE these sickos?
I notice it’s described as “the chef’s own ketchup”– maybe it’s not a tomato-based ketchup at all but something that would complement the cheese better?
Go choke on a Runza, McStupid.
I think “Inspector Closeau meets GI Joe meets the Book of Revelations” might be even more apt, but you’ve definitely interested me in the man’s work.
Well, they might be using ketchup in it’s more old-timey “thick condimenty-saucy stuff for meat” meaning. It probably still sucks.
If Republican billionaires enjoy their wealth, they sure as hell hide it well.
You typically only hear about it at their trials.
Usually these chefs special “ketchups” are tomato based, but they can run the gamut from almost salsa-like to a bbq sort of sauce to almost an aioli.
Personally, I think a not-very-sweet, spicy “ketchup”, used in moderation, would complement the salty tang of the goat cheese pretty well. Sprinkled with fried shallot slices?
I’d give it a YUM….
mikey
Do you suppose this whole WordPress misbehavior deal is nothing more than somehow the cookies are being set with very short expiration times? That would be awfully easy to check and fix, would it not?
mikey
mikey, you could make any food not suck.
Homer: That’s great. Even big stars take their kids to the zoo.
Ron Howard: Well, it’s a different zoo, containing animals you’ve never heard of.
mikey, you could make any food not suck.
Nope. Nothing I could do with Brussels Sprouts.
Except throw then at the neighbor’s dog when he barks at night.
That’s all I got…
mikey
Homemade ketchup….I once made homemade ketchup. It was The Bomb.
But a fuckuva lot of work.
Hmmm…..summer’s coming….tomatoes…..
You know what would be cool, g?
Blueberry ketchup.
Might even be worth the work…
mikey
Isn’t vinegar a primary ingredient in ketchup? Would that clash with the blueberry? And if there were no vinegar, what would distinguish it from blueberry jam?
wordpress suckitude
Bah, worked in Safari but not in FF
That picture has been haunting me all day. I finally figured out why: when he starts fiddling with his ear, watch out!
Blueberry ketchup.
Mm. Well, it would be tasty. But just like beets, blueberries make for interesting colors later on.
OTOH, I wonder if the vinegar would make the blueberries more violet and less blue.
Nah, see, that’s the whole point of a righteous condiment, Fancy. Sweet, balanced against sour, with equal portions of bitter, sour and savory. Plus a viscous texture and a pleasant mouth feel.
With the blueberry ketchup, you’d use the vinegar but you wouldn’t have add (much of) the sweetness. Then you could use herbs, spices and aromatics to bring about the balance. I see onion, garlic, allspice, cinnamon, clove, thyme, oregano, celery, cayenne, kind of a witches brew of goodness.
mikey
Did someone say blue ketchup?
Banana ketchup is good.
mikey, you could make any food not suck.
Nope. Nothing I could do with Brussels Sprouts.
Except throw then at the neighbor’s dog when he barks at night.
That’s all I got…
mikey , your food descriptions/suggestions usually make me hungry . Good work.
I have a way to make BSprouts that almost everybody likes . First of all, they have to be from someplace cold . Three times frozen, at the very least. They get sweeter , and the bitter, cabbagey aftertaste is all but gone. The California-grown grocery store golf balls don’t undergo this process, so taste like crap.The best ones I’ve had , were dug out of ~18″ of snow @ ~15F , on Christmas Eve.
Cut them in half , then sautee them, med – med-high, with onions and
bacon , or turkey bacon , if you’re trying to save your heart (for some reason? 🙂 Mmmmmmmmm!!!
Is it me or have all the recent attacks on Obama essentially been of the “let’s hope middle America is too dumb to listen to complete sentences and just gets angry at the individual words he’s saying”:
His speech on race was “too nuanced” for real Americans to pay attention; the fact that he doesn’t order a philly cheese-steak is going to resonate very poorly
Yeah , nobody’ll get why he didn’t want half a can of CheezWhizzed on
a bun full of grease . ‘Course Kerry got crucified for eating it, and getting it all over himself . Too dumb? Yeah, see the great arugala debate . That’s why Obama got beaten so badly in won Iowa
Excuse me for being momentarily serious, but Obama’s latest “mistake” ( Fox’s latest badly beaten dead horse) is often the reason when school budgets don’t pass . It’s the only government financial decision where anyone can have a direct input .
To put it another way , a kindly old gentleman/preacher/carpenter told me this when he was having a problem with the state DEC, about work on his dock and wall . He was fishing near his cottage , when along came an ECO (conservation officer). He proceeded to let him have it , then explained thusly, when he saw confusion on the man’s face : *smiling* ” I know you have nothing to do with this, but youare (*gently grabbing shoulder* ) the one I can get hold of! heheh “
Blueberry? Orange peel & lavender go well with it, Try Bluberry/Orange/Lavender Sauce on Lemon Cheesecake or Lemon Cake . Mmmmmmmm!
Testing : Strike Test:
got beaten so badly in won Iowa.
See Milkey, despite your generous reading of the chef’s artistic intent this is still a fucking hamburger. Dressed up with a fake ass French pedigree, but still a hamburger. The management puts it on the menu so as not to frighten the rubes with more money than taste.
I’m sure the Sadly Nation could come up with a long list of places that serve the best burger (perhaps even with goat cheese), honestly and in a more authentic setting than this elitist abomination.
But really, a brioche? Goat cheese? Could they show their insecurities more plainly? The chef’s own catsup is just a beard.
I happen to know that a favorite activity in many countries is inventing hilariously repulsive “traditional” recipes for the American tourists. Still, I’ll try anything once.
I have eaten wild-blueberry ketchup, not recently & Iamnotacook, and it was tasty but not so amazing that I had to run seek out more of it. The only flavor notes I can remember were chives and cinnamon, and the problem is that cinnamon is one of the three ingredients that want to overpower every other flavor and so it needs to be used with great caution. I am not in general a great consumer of ketchup, because my sweetbuds don’t want to work the same shifts as my sourbuds / saltbuds, and the sour/salt combo usually has the deciding vote.
However, before tomatoes reached Europe, the original ‘ketsup’ is said to have been mushroom-based. A mushroom-based ketchup with goat cheese on good beef sounds to me perfectly Wonderful & Amazing…
mikeSprouts: try typing the word “strike” in the angle brackets instead of just “s” or “st” . . .
cinnamon is one of the three ingredients that want to overpower every other flavor
What are the other two? Cilantro and…?
See Milkey, despite your generous reading of the chef’s artistic intent this is still a fucking hamburger.
Yep.
Don’t see what’s bad about that.
Those bisquits they serve a macjackwendys aren’t burgers.
They are some kind of thing that they’ve created, then co-opted the word “hamburger” and convinced people that it’s food.
It is neither food nor hamburger. It is something factory manufactured in order to take your money in exchange for, well, not sustenance, exactly, but something that fills up that empty space in your stomach and your arteries.
A “Hamburger”, however? Oh, that is a blank palate, a sublime concept that leaves room for not just creativity, nay, but EXPERIMENTATION. And anyone, who cannot recognize the difference between factory fodder and a real Hamburger deserves only the former.
A hamburger has a few rules. While it does not have to be beef, it must be ground. And shaped into a patty. And served between two slices of some kind of bread. Ok, that’s pretty much it.
And I’m sorry, but $12.00 is not an unreasonable price to pay for a real hamburger. Again, those one dollar or four dollar hockey pucks you can get at the drive thru are HINOs, and should not be considered in this discussion.
And it is entirely reasonable to serve excellent ground beef on brioche with carefully considered toppings and condiments. How is this a bad thing? And more importantly, why would you NOT want to eat it? Do you genuinely prefer Jack in the Box with their “Angus” burgers?
Spend some time building burgers. Hell, spend some time thinking about burgers. You’ll be amazed at what you’ll come up with. From pork to lamb to fish, there are options beyond macdonalds, options that deserve to be called burgers….
mikey
Las “gorditas” en Taco Bell no son gorditas tampoco.
MikeSprouts: To get the line-through, you have to spell out
and. The diamond-s *looks* okay in Preview, but WordPress is a sullen retarded program that delights in tripping up us Eee-leetists with our fancy idears an’ all.Oh, and that Wiki[pedia description of ‘Filipino spaghetti”? I have been told that the traditional meat ingredient is actually… Spam™. Because that’s what was available to the non-elites in island economies post-self-sufficiency and pre-cheap-bulk-transport. Humans are predisposed to cherish the flavors they are introduced to during infancy & childhood, which explains the survival of lutefisk, treacle, and Maneshevitz as well as Twinkies, CheezWhiz, and a thousand crappy varieties of local-brand potato chips.
I have two simple rules for eating out. It has to be something that I can’t make at home, or it has to be better than I could do. In this instance (if I still ate meat) I’d say this would likely fail on both accounts.
But what would probably doom the burger would be that I would hope that at an expensive white linen restaurant with crystal and custom flatware there might be something on the menu that would pass my rules. It’s the opportunity costs, basically.
I’d bet that the burger is on the menu to keep John “where’s the cafeteria food?” Boehner from freaking the hell out.
Damn WordPress! I thought inserting extra spaces would work. But, obviously, inserting the word “strike” between the carats will give you the linethru. *sigh.*
“cinnamon is one of the three ingredients that want to overpower every other flavor.”
What are the other two? Cilantro and…?
Actually, garlic and herring. Cilantro is only a problem for you unfortunates with the supertaster genes, and gosh knows we Americans have done our best to wipe *that* minority out!
Oh, and Mikey: IIRC, Marvin Harris, in GOOD TO EAT (a book you probably want to look up if you haven’t already) claimed that the success of the modern American meatpuck chains were based on sneaking a law past the food inspectors that permitted the big processors to mix “ground beef” from hundreds or thousands of cattle carcasses. This let the Mc-megacorps mix the scraps from cheap-but-too-tough-for-American-palates grass-fed rainforest cows with the excess belly fat trimmed from midwestern cornlot steers. Of course this not only gave several generations of Americans an entirely false idea of what “hamburger” was supposed to taste (or NOT taste) like, it meant that one prion-infected animal could contaminate several hundred pounds of hamburger-product and potentially murder several thousand human beings. But hey! Ray Kroc is one of the Great Americans of the twentieth century, just as Mr. Armour was one of the Great Americans of the previous Robber Baron kleptocracy!
See Milkey, despite your generous reading of the chef’s artistic intent this is still a fucking hamburger. Dressed up with a fake ass French pedigree, but still a hamburger. The management puts it on the menu so as not to frighten the rubes with more money than taste.
Royale with Cheese
And I’m sorry, but $12.00 is not an unreasonable price to pay for a real hamburger.
This is the best burger in the country
I kid you not. And certainly not more than $12.
Isn’t vinegar a primary ingredient in ketchup? Would that clash with the blueberry?
Not if it’s a sweeter vinegar, like balsamic– I have a bottle of blueberry vinagrette here that’s delicious. In fact, it’s particularly good on burgers.
Uh..er…well [kicks casually at the ground] I don’t want to call attention to myself, but I just put my new url in my signature line…uh, maybe you might want to check out my attempt at a blog….uh, don’t trouble yourselves too much….I’m really not sure what I want to write about.
A burger which few can truly compare to. A huge medium rare piece of dry aged beef that sits upon a fluffy French bun, topped with caramelized onions, applewood bacon compote, gruyere, maytag blue cheese and arugula.
Sounds like it’d be worth the trip to LA, g
It’s damn good.
Ooooh. Me want.
g-nice blog, and good beginning.
Humans are predisposed to cherish the flavors they are introduced to during infancy & childhood, which explains the survival of
chef boyardee spaghetti-O’s
Where do boobs fit in this analysis?
g.
Just speak your truth.
There are things you need to say.
If you are fortunate to find a way to shape the language to tell your truth, you will have completed your mission.
Good luck…
mikey
Humans are predisposed to cherish the flavors they are introduced to during infancy & childhood
Coffee, chili, beer and black pudding…
gruyere, maytag blue cheese and arugula
Ah. Arugula = roquette. Why didn’t you say so? I was getting ‘arugula’ mixed up with ‘blastula’.
“Lex’s Big Gay Dirty Mexican Lawn Party”
Magnificent. You’ve coined the perfect phrase. Say no more.
Barack the magic negro lives in DC.
“Lex’s Big Gay Dirty Mexican Lawn Party”
This event actually originated in a bunker complex on Firebase Challenge southeast of Pleiku in July of 1970.
Seems that we kind of fell thru the cracks for a while, and all we had to do was keep a low profile and party our asses off on the Northeast Perimeter of an artillery firebase. We had music, dope, beer and fresh water. Not much in the way of food, but you smoke some real SE Asian dope and a spam sammich can start to taste pretty damn good.
Sure, eventually somebody noticed a hole in the order of battle and came to get us back operational, but it was a righteous Big Gay Dirty Mexican Bunker Party. Perhaps the original?
mikey
I was getting ‘arugula’ mixed up with ‘blastula’.
Mmmm. Tender, juicy blastula burgers, with caramelized onions, applewood bacon compote, and a maytag washer.
All my suspicions about Lex’s Big Gay Dirty Cruiskeen Lawn Party are confirmed.
Mmmmmmmm! Blastula!
OT, but the wingers are gonna be pissed tomorrow. The War With Iran just suffered a serious setback. The (Iran=AlQaeda) rationale just got all blowed up . ( and, seriously, it is sad what happened, to the victims)
The fact is, Obama is an out of touch eleitist who hates the USA and has special content for The Heartland. He is also black. He will never get elected.
Also, he calls the Bush presidency “Inspector Clouseau meets the Book of Revelations,” which is about an apt description as you’ll ever see.
I dunno. Inspector Clouseau would usually get it right in the end. Granted, he’d get it right through dumb luck and bumbling, but things would end up o.k.
Sadly, Dubya has gotten / will be getting it wrong – tragically, horribly, criminally wrong – right through the end.
(Sorry, I’ve got no snark today. Watched bits of the Winter Soldier testimony. Oy*)
*and that’s a huge understatement.
The fact is, how dare Obama say something true. Being an elitist in a crime in this land of the free and home of the brave. It’s much worse than being a war criminal, corrupt politician or lying sonufabitch.
He’s also a dessert topping and a floor wax.-
He’s a dessert topping you cow!
Color me confused.
It’s somehow condescending to small town voters to try to enunciate their feelings of frustration, but it’s not condescending to think that you can win them over by pretending to be a gun-toting, hard-drinking honky-tonk angel when you are clearly anything but?
I hope Obama will point that out – that the candidate who accused him of being “elitist” and “condescending” believes that the voters are so shallow that she can win their support by talking about shooting a gun and downing a few shots in a bar.
Special content? Like those penguin bondage flics they show late at night on Bolivian porn stations?
God forbid an elite become president, ’cause that’s never happened before, right?
I want an elite. I want a diplomatic, educated intellectual with elite speaking skills and elite manners and elite thoughtfullness.
Keep it up, Ronald McGary.
And for hamburger, you need to grind your own chuck. A Kitchen Aid mixer attachement will do it easily. It’s a bit more expensive ($1 or $2 more than already ground) but *so* worth it.
pretending to be a gun-toting, hard-drinking honky-tonk angel when you are clearly anything but?
were those pictures of Hilary knocking back shots REAL? I thought they were photoshopped.
I’ve always thought McCain was shot down by the US Navy to avenge the Forestall, myself.
Cilantro is only a problem for you unfortunates with the supertaster genes, and gosh knows we Americans have done our best to wipe *that* minority out!
Secrets are burdensome so it’s time I revealed my secret super hero identity. I am John Lee Supertaster and that’s why my béal bocht can’t handle cilantro. The brother can confirm this.
I thought cilantro dislike had a different genetic factor– supertasters don’t seem to have a different sense of smell from nonsupertasters and I find cilantro’s smell kind of nasty, never mind its taste.
Cilantro? If you can specifically taste it, it’s too much . It should be enough to make the flavor of the whole better, and no more .
bl
When I taste a cilantro, it’s like a hundred cilantros (it’s like a million cilantros).
What is up with the Pat Robertson haircuts?! Is that a requirement for conservative dickwads these days?
[…] wind for the past thirty years…and is promptly branded an “elitist” by the very same cheerleaders of the policies that threw poor and rural Americans under the bus in the first […]