I think I understand: The Russian vodka company is “softening” Americans up for the Mexican Invasion. Whey the Mexicans, no doubt funded by the Russians, come a’swarming over the border, the Americans will be 1) too used to the notion to mind, and 2) too drunk on Absolut to mind.

Drunk on Vodka Margaritas of course. (I rather think a Mexican-Russian culture would be a very happy one)

I’m pretty sure that Michelle Malkin sees the ad as de jure proof.

I’d rather drink Russian vodka and mojitos then Budweiser.

Just sayin’.

I thought Absolut was from Sweden. What does Ann Althouse’s opinion?

Shorter Michelle Malkin always kind of…well…falls short, because you just can’t cram that much crazy into one sentence.

As for the Absolut, I’m pretty sure it’s a product of Sweden rather than Russia.

Very possible. I don’t know my vodkas. I DO know that Budweiser is piss in a can, though.

Does Malkin expect the Mexican people to think the 1848 war was great? I wonder what would happen if Michelle Malkin found out that in Canada the history books don’t say that the US won the war of 1812?

Absolut is indeed Swedish. Stoli is the Russian one. Though I think Moskovskaya is better.

I live in SoCal, and honestly I have never even heard anything about this so-called Reconquista. Other than a fun street fair around Cinco de Mayo, and a boatload of excellent Mexican restaurants and a Spanish language tv channel, the area is as anglo as any other area in the US. (OK, well Walter Mercado is in the local paper, but hey who couldn’t love Walter?!)

The Spanish speakers in the area are a hell of a lot more friendly than the winguts are, that’s for sure.

We’re screwed. The United States of America doesn’t have a chance in hell against the immeasurable power of a vodka ad campaign.

Y’know, considering Malkin is probably anti-abortion, wouldn’t that mean she began life in the Philippines, and immigrated here with her parents?

It’s un-American not to love Walter.

Absolut is Sweedish… it even says right on their logo. Just because it’s vodka doesn’t automatically mean it’s Russian. Poland makes quite a few vodkas as well…

why doesn’t she shoot herself in the head and put us all out of her misery?

Absolut is Sweedish…

and soon to be French owned, which means this very dangerous Reconquista by vodka ad operation actually forms part of French imperialist designs. They did it in Mexico before (see Maximilian), so it would be irresponsible not to assume they’re trying to do it again.

How does one say “bwa ha ha” in French?

How does one say “bwa ha ha” in French?

“L’Boi du ha et ha”?

Isn’t it time you came up with another replacement for that painting behind MM’s head?
Lawnguylander reckons that Spiny Norman would be appropriate.

a different brad said,

Y’know, considering Malkin is probably anti-abortion, wouldn’t that mean she began life in the Philippines, and immigrated here with her parents?

She’s an anchor baby, baby!

Now let’s rock.

Every time I see that pic of Stalkin Malkin I think of this guy

OTB said,

Every time I see that pic of Stalkin Malkin I think of this guy.

I’m a bit skepical of Stalkin’s pickin’ talents. And I bet even that guy could do a better cheerleader routine.

The conspiracy is real. The ad isn’t definitive proof, there is plenty more definite proof than that, it is just showing how widespread the Mexican desire to take over the southwestern United States is that a Russian vodka company would use such an image to sell its product.

I love how noble Malkin thinks she is by railing against this “arrogance”.
Compare with…let’s say Elizabeth Edwards’ calling out John McCain’s horrible health care “plan”.
Yeah Michelle! Gimme an L!!!! *flail*

How does one say “bwa ha ha” in French?

The canonical form is Ah hon hon hon!

Is that poor old thing still trying to claw her way out of obscurity? Bless her little, uh, whatever keeps her going.

I think she is running out of things to bitch about. Next week; Taco Bell gives all of their food “Mexican” names! Don’t they know they’re in Murica?

What’s next a sitcom about an average, white, American middle-class family hiding a group of Mexicans in their attic?

Absolut is Sweedish…
—————————-
and soon to be French owned, which means this very dangerous Reconquista by vodka ad operation actually forms part of French imperialist designs.

The French connection is a clever ruse – the brains behind this conspiracy are indeed in Stockholm. The power-hungry Swedish overlords are desperately trying to get a stranglehold on new markets in which to peddle their perverse Scandinavian food products.

Wait a minute. I keep hearing that the South will rise again. What if the Mexicans and the Southerners come for us at the same time? We’d have to retreat into North Dakota. The whole country would be nothing but NASCAR rallies and salsa replacing ketchup.

The Fact is, Mr. Limpy is correct! Here in The Heartland we Patriots would never drink anything as Un-American as Socialist Sweden and Traitor Surrender Monkey French manufactured Vodka (the favorite drink of Communists.) The Fact is, Ms. Malkin, despite being foreign and Mexican looking, is a Patriot who Trumpets the values of The Heartland, which is Freedom and Rugged Individualism and Faith in our Commander in Chief and his Department of Heartland Security. The Fact is, that it is Liberals who are the real racists.

First ABBA, now this. The pattern is undeniable.

I hereby declare this “Swedofascist Awareness Week”.

And all will fall to the force of the Falkland Islands.

Well, until the South Pole falls apart and drowns us all, thus ‘rising’ again.

I hereby declare this “Swedofascist Awareness Week”.

I think you mean “Swedescist Awareness Week”.

O noes, Malkin has discovered the super secret Scandimexican Alliance! Abort operation Absolut Terror!

Wanting to do something and being able to do something are two totally different things. Mexico does not have the power to annex the Southwest, period.

Liquor?

I hardly know her!

Then again, wasn’t England able to reconquer the United States by letting all those poor Irish people emigrate?

In an added irony, Sweden polls the highest on the Eurobarometer for immigration (with around 60% believing immigrants contribute positively to society, compared to the middle-of-the-road France at 45% or the fairly low Germany at around 35%) and has taken in about a hundred times more Iraqi refugees than we have (the number so far is, what, 20,000-40,000 for them, 200-400 for us?) in spite of the obvious population difference.

Once Malkin checks her facts, she’ll probably piss herself in orgasmic delight. What a cruel irony that that is what she must do for satisfaction!

And all will fall to the force of the Falkland Islands.

Bah! The Falkland Islanders are the pawns of the Patagonians, who are weaving a web of intrigue from the icey shores of Tierra del Fuego to the steamy jungles of the Gran Chaco.

But what really worries me are the shadowy links developing between the Papuans and the Kurds. Those guys are capable of anything.

When they say “Beware of the Anchor Babies! For soon they will engulf us!” do they mean Michelle Malkin?

“When they say “Beware of the Anchor Babies! For soon they will engulf us!” do they mean Michelle Malkin?”

Malkin doesn’t count, because she hates other immigrants and that makes her a “real” American.

The Swedes are now trying to terrorize our great Nation?!?!? Oh NOES!!

Doodle Bean said,

It’s about time you woke up, d00d.

“First ABBA, now this. The pattern is undeniable.

I hereby declare this “Swedofascist Awareness Week”.”

I have an album of ABBA singing in Spanish. No, really.

Well ABBA sung about Waterloo, so clearly they love Napoleon.

Mmmmmmmm, napoleons…../drool

Every time I hear Michelle talking about immigration like that, I am forcibly reminded of the Simpsons episode in which Krusty finds out that, by not having been Bar Mitzvahed, he’s not a jewish man in the eyes of god and the community.

“I thought I was a self-hating Jew, but I’m just a plain old anti-semite”

This is the dumbest fucking thing she’s ever done.

And all will fall to the force of the Falkland Islands.

Do you mean the Islas Malvinas?

I, for one, welcome our new Swedish overlords, especially the good looking blonde twin women, ages 20-24.

Teh ABBAsexuals is brainwashing our youths.

This is the dumbest fucking thing she’s ever done.

I’m dubious at best.

The L-O-S-E-R cheer pops to mind.

The L-O-S-E-R cheer pops to mind.

That was embarrassing, but un fact Harry Reid has been a loser.

In fact.

Teh ABBAsexuals is brainwashing our youths.
Using Aramaic words to name their pop groups is just another example of Swedish subliminal subtlety.

Lutefisk on a Tortilla, mmmm!!!

Don’t the Swedes vacation in Cuba too?

Vikings and Bandidos,
Vikings and Bandidos,
Vikings and Bandidos,
Vikings!
And Ban-did-osss!

Tall Viking: I’m tired, perhaps we can ask the bandidos to help us row the boat.
Short Viking: But I’m afraid of the South American Killer Bees they hold!
Thin Bandido: We’re going so slowly, maybe we should help row the boat.
Wide Bandido: But if we put our South American Killer Bees down, we’re defenseless!

I, for one, welcome our new Swedish overlords, especially the good looking blonde twin women, ages 20-24.

Ah, but what if they send Anna, the IKEA virtual salesgirl, who can only grimace in embarrassment when she’s asked about sex?

Ok, somebody that’s already been over to the Malkin Thing’s place and read this drivel explain to me how this is supposed to work. I get some of the pieces of the nefarious plan, but there’s still gaps.

So first the mexicans establish a conspiracy with a swedish vodka company to occupy, presumable by a combination of guile and force of arms, the greater southwest united states.

In furtherance of this conspiracy, the swedish vodka company runs an advertisment showing the map of the united states redrawn in that manner, demonstrating that the Reconquista is a fait acompli.

Now, I’m sorry, but here’s where it gets fuzzy to me. How do the mexicans and the swedish vodka company get the americans and the american government to acquiesce to this massive shift in sovereignty? Do they get Condi Rice drunk and while playing truth or dare she loses and has to sign documents ceding the southwest to mexico? And what’s in it for the swedish vodka company? Do they get las vegas?

I’m gonna need a little help with this one…

mikey

From Abuelo to Zamora, those dang Meixan-speaking Mexican types want to take over our western and southwestern states! They’ll rename San Francisco San Mexisco or something Mexican like that. And I don’t want to have to eat chimineychongas in the cafeteria.

Then again, wasn’t England able to reconquer the United States by letting all those poor Irish people emigrate?

Everyone knows the poor Irish were sleeper agents of the Vatican, setting this nation up with a Catholic fifth-column that would one day go on to terrorize this Godful, Protestant nation whom only the Protestant God looks down upon, not the false God of the Roman Satanic Church, including infiltrating our halls of Power with not one, not two, but three separate Kennedies.

Well, I mean, our trolls know that. Gary wrote a paper on it where he named the Rockafellers, Rothschilds, and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up as co-conspirators.

How does one say “bwa ha ha” in French?
Not a speaker of French but I’m pretty sure it’s “kim du twat”.
Apologies if someone got to this earlier but since there’s some NCAA hoops and some beer drinkin’ going on, I haven’t read all the comments.

Proof that Manhattan wants to take over the world.
http://www.thenewyorkerstore.com/assets/2/50326_l.jpg

The Swedes are now trying to terrorize our great Nation?!?!? Oh NOES!!

Sweden’s been mounting a full frontal assault on our radios for months now. There is no excape:

Gary wrote a paper on it where he named the Rockafellers, Rothschilds, and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up as co-conspirators.

Maybe the secret ingredient the colonel uses in his chicken that makes me crave it fortnightly is…Vodka???

It’s all making ~hic~ sense to me now!

The power-hungry Swedish overlords are desperately trying to get a stranglehold on new markets in which to peddle their perverse Scandinavian food products.

Can I has lotz of fish balz plz?

Michelle and her reader are so wrong, so stupid and so crazy…

… and yet we keep losing ground to them.

I’m so fucking depressed. I’d really like to go to bed and stay there for a few years.

Eventually every wingnut web site will ban every reader. Sort of like a thousand monkeys with typewriters will slur every other monkey and be dubbed “beligerant”.
(which also has liger in the middle, little known fact.)

Sweden’s been mounting a full frontal assault on our radios for months now. There is no excape:

The Norwegians have been aiding them too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBvaHZIrt0o

And I shudder to think of what Finland has been up to!

vodka + V8 juice + beef boullion + fresh lime + chipotle sauce + celery = what I’m drinking with brunch tomorrow

And what about that Windex ad with the talking crows?

If those crows teach all the other crows to talk, we’re screwed.

Here in the Heartland we have a Nasonex nasal spray commercial that features an animated bee. That’s “B,” as in “Barack”. The liberal propaganda never stops…

OTB: Don’t forget that he’s voice-acted by Antonio Banderas, or a reasonable facsimile.

Yeah, Mexico is “reconquering” their territory with migrant workers and maids.

OTB: Don’t forget that he’s voice-acted by Antonio Banderas, or a reasonable facsimile.

You telling me that our borders are being penetrated by undocumented alien insects?

Well, it’s a bee from Latin America.

The Africanized killer bee originated from a hybridization project in Brazil.

Brazil is in South America, and therefore part of the reconquista, even though they’re Portuguese.

It’s all rapidly coming together, the plan is ingenious. All ad companies, not just ones representing Swedish liquor factories, are in on the reconquista!

The canonical form is Ah hon hon hon!

Canonical performance by Sam Donaldson. No kidding. I’m looking for linkies…

You telling me that our borders are being penetrated by undocumented alien insects?
They’re called the Applegates.

Snorghagen said,

Ah, but what if they send Anna, the IKEA virtual salesgirl, who can only grimace in embarrassment when she’s asked about sex?

OK, I couldn’t resist.

You said: blowjob
I’m afraid I’m not willing to discuss this subject in any way.
Close
®
Inter IKEA Systems B.V. 1999 – 2008

~

What’s with the ‘re’ shit anyway? The only way I can see it being ‘re’ is as a dramatic reenactment (not shown here) of the conquest of the last 20 years.

It’s a fait accompli, innit? How does one say that in Norsk? or Swedska? Or whatever.

Even shorter Michelle Malkin:
Absolut Petulance.

Brazil is in South America, and therefore part of the reconquista, even though they’re Portuguese.

I welcome our Beeconquista overlords, even if they are drunk on Absolut Power.

More conversation with Anna, IKEA’s virtual saleswoman…

>I love you.
Anna: How nice. I must have been a great help to make you feel like that. Now, ask me a question about IKEA.

>Let me fulfill you as a woman.
Anna: It’s not always possible for me to fully understand what it is you mean. This is one of those times.

>I just had an orgasm.
Anna (grimacing): I’m afraid I’m not willing to discuss this subject in any way.

(and when the relationship collapses into bitter recrimination…)
>Idiot!
Anna: I am not designed to understand or feel insults, although my knowledge will surely improve after this conversation.

If we’re being invaded by the Swedexicans AND the Finnbrazillions, we might as well just surrender and enjoy it.

~

P.S. Snorg, the virtual Ikea saleslady really gets off on the word “couch”.

Well this is going nowhere.

Howcum no one, not even the doubtably Garyishers, has pointed out that the real reason Obama will lose is that people are afraid of having black velvet paintings featuring pointy-teated women covering the sacred White House walls?

And frill/tassles dangling off AF-1. Can you even imagine what the presidential limo willl look like? Will it be a pimped-out Caddy with shag interior or an Escalade with dubs and spinners?

Is Michelle Obama (OMG – is that a FRENCH NAME?!?!?) going to plant watermelons in the rose garden? State department meals of fried chicken and collard greens?

What is THAT going to do for the image of America, I wonder.

Satan wants to know, I am merely his minion. And excess bodily waste collector.

It’s a fait accompli, innit? How does one say that in Norsk? or Swedska? Or whatever.
It is a quintessentially English concepts that does not translate well into other languages. Not even the French have a word for it.

What is in the Southwest that an evil Vodka Distillery needs?

Hmm, water and electricity.

You know for making ice cubes.

I think that Diabolical vodka distillery is after Lake Mead and Hoover Dam.

Back in the early 80’s it was terribly amusing to point out to my French roommate that English was now the lingua franca.

Pissed him off to no end.

I try to ignore crazy people like Michelle, but I do have a question. Is that piece of third world toilet paper she calls a ‘book’ an autobiography?

If we’re being invaded by the Swedexicans AND the Finnbrazillions
It is only a matter of time before the Germezuelans and the Welshentinians join their axis of evil.
Not to be confused with the Axis of Egil, which is a small Icelandic organisation committed to reviving the Vinland settlement.

English was now the lingua franca.
Even worse, “lingua franca” = an Italian phrase.
I cn haz pedantry points plz?

The Fact is, Mr. Underwear, that we in The Heartland know it is common sense that Barak’s initials are B.O. and his middle name is Hussein. That is reason enough for all Freedom Loving Patriots to oppose him. The Fact is, he is a Black Man, as well as being angry and probably a Muslim to. The Fact is, he probably has a giant penis, which both terrifies and fascinates me. The Fact is, you Liberals who vote for him are the Real Racists, because if you truly loved the Black Community, you would vote for a Patriot like Alan Keyes. The Fact is, this Vodka ad is obviously a Caliphate trick of some sort, as the company is owned by The French, and we Heartland Patriots know that the French have no word for entrepreneur.

URGENT COMMUNIQUE:

From the Axis of mikey.

Attention swedish and finnish dogs.

This is a message of resistance to all pale, pasty northern european (you’re all peein’?) associates of the the mexican reconquista.

We have demands.

First, you must deliver ten (10) cases of vodka to our Headquarters. Second, we’re going to have to inspect some of your blonde women. Oh, and some of the hot mexican babes with the smokin dark eyes too.

Second, you have to release some prisoners. Are you holding any prisoners? Oh, who cares. Let’s get back to inspecting your women and drinking your vodka.

Oh, and we’d like some pizza.

Now, if we don’t get a satisfactory response by 8AM GMT Sunday, we’re fully prepared to pull concertina around our living room couch and hold at risk both our back deck and dining room.

We await your response…

mikey

That’s Dr. Underwear to you, my little spider spittle.

It is only a matter of time before the Germezuelans and the Welshentinians join their axis of evil.

Not to mention the Russaguayans.

I cn haz pedantry points plz?

Umm, I’m gonna take the position that no Olympic class pedant would talk like that…

mikey

prepared to pull concertina

What? Why not pull a train if they don’t come. Next best thing, seems to me.

URGENT COMMUNIQUE:

From the Axis of mikey.

Update as of 4:26gmt.

PeeJ will be functioning as our designated negotiator going forward.

You MUST respond to PeeJ in real time or we will, um, well, ask PeeJ.

Dammit….

Axis of mikey

We do not fear your concertina. We have been to the Horniman Museum with its collection of over 600 concertinas.

Although, ultimately, you will need to make up your own mind about Mr. Barack Hussein Obama, I have a number of things to say that you may find useful. Permit me this forum to rant. Above all, as sure as a bear does you-know-what in the woods, he will break down traditional values as soon as our backs are turned. If you wonder why I take the stance that I do, it’s because he doesn’t want me to criticize the obvious incongruities presented by him and his sympathizers. Well, I’ve never been a very obedient dog so I intend not only to do exactly that but also to denounce those who claim that Obama can walk on water.

Who is Obama to decide what is morally acceptable for us and what is not? I must admit that I’ve read only a small fraction of his writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I’ve read enough of Obama’s writings to know that Obama is absolutely determined to believe that the world can be happy only when his retinue is given full rein, and he’s not about to let facts or reason get in his way. For many reasons, too many and too complex to go into here at this time, I must say that he never tires of trying to extinguish fires with gasoline. Obama presumably hopes that the magic formula will work some day. In the meantime, he seems to have resolved to learn nothing from experience, which tells us that either he has no real conception of the sweep of history, or he is merely intent on winning some debating pin by trying to pierce a hole in my logic with “facts” that are taken out of context. Was he just trying to be cute when he said that cantankerous, intrusive simpletons are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive? I sure hope so because if the human race is to survive on this planet, we will have to prevent the Obama-induced catastrophe I foresee and save our nation from its time of deepest humiliation and disgrace.

It must be pointed out that Obama raises an enormous hullabaloo and tries to drown me out every time I state in public that his hortatory exclamation that it would be beneficial for him to waste our time and money makes me think that “Barack Hussein Obama” has become a byword for treachery and deceit. I always catch hell whenever I say something like that so let me assure you that he does, occasionally, make a valid point. But when he says that the ideas of “freedom” and “lexiphanicism” are Siamese twins, that’s where the facts end and the ludicrousness begins. If you’re interested in the finagling, double-dealing, chicanery, cheating, cajolery, cunning, rascality, and abject villainy by which he may up the ante considerably by the end of the decade, then you’ll want to consider the following very carefully. You’ll especially want to consider that Obama’s goal is to discredit legitimate voices in the sesquipedalianism debate. This is abject ethnocentrism!

Obama claims to be fighting for equality. What he’s really fighting for, however, is equality in degradation, by which I mean that whenever anyone states the obvious — that if Obama’s comrades get their way, society as we know it will cease to exist — discussion naturally progresses towards the question, “Where is Obama’s integrity?” Well, I’m sure Obama would rather accelerate the natural tendency of civilization to devolve from order to chaos, liberty to tyranny, and virtue to vice than answer that particular question. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, don’t want to make any hard and final judgments, but I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. And one of the things that impresses me about it is the massive number of people who realize that we must show him that we are not powerless pedestrians on the asphalt of life. We must show Obama that we can empower the oppressed to control their own lives. Maybe then Obama will realize that he says that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life.

Obama is still going around insisting that we’re supposed to shut up and smile when he says uneducated things. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that I find his perversions rather minatory. That fact may not be pleasant but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter. Here’s the heart of the matter: Many people are shocked when I tell them that I hope he enjoys his new distinction as one of the most supercilious blusterers who ever lived. And I’m shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that I once tried to explain to him that his manifestos will base racial definitions on lineage, phrenological characteristics, skin hue, and religion. Rather than feel ashamed of himself, Obama got angry at me. What this says is that if it turns out that there’s no way to prevent Obama from causing riots in the streets then I guess it’ll be time to throw my cards on the table and call it quits. I’ll just have to give up trying to put inexorable pressure on Obama to be a bit more careful about what he says and does and accept the fact that his insults are like a Hydra. They continually acquire new heads and new strength. The only way to stunt their growth is to expose every foul practice of every foul practitioner of unilateralism. The only way to destroy Obama’s Hydra entirely is to provide more people with the knowledge that he would have us believe that the average working-class person can’t see through his chicanery. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject. In closing, Mr. Barack Hussein Obama loves the truth only as long as it doesn’t conflict with his précis.

Those of you who scoff at Sweden’s territorial pretensions should bear in mind the history of St. Barts. The island was a Swedish colonial possession for over 100 years and for some of that time, its Caribbean center for the slave trade. Do you want this to happen to the U.S. Southwest? Do you want Las Cruces to be Sweden’s new slave trade entrepôt? It could happen again!

The Fact is, Mr. McMahon uses a lot of big words, which intimidate me. Therefore, it is Common Sense that he is a Serious and Adult expert, unlike childish Liberals.

You’re full of shit.

Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject. In closing, Mr. Barack Hussein Obama loves the truth only as long as it doesn’t conflict with his précis.

It’s not always possible for me to fully understand what it is you mean. This is one of those times.

It is only a matter of time before the Germezuelans and the Welshentinians join their axis of evil.

On the plus side, the strawberries from Colonia Tovar are delicious.

I just pooped my pants.

Matt –
Jesus, son. Pith. Pith.

Shorter Matt McHandjob:

Haalp! Scary Negrobama is out to get me!

Also a Google search on “supercilious blusterer” turns up only one hit. On the one hand, you have used a relatively rare combination of words. On the other hand, you are not the first. Go back and try again.

This just goes to show that 80 proof is all the proof she needs to believe.

INTERNAL COMMUNIQUE:

From the Axis of mikey.

Umm, PeeJ?

I think you need to respond to Matt.

You on this, brother?

mikey

Who is Obama to decide what is morally acceptable for us and what is not?

STFU, that’s who. And get that tongue up there, boy. There, that’s the way.

[sorry – the PeeJ side of the axis just finished his radioactive stage and finally gets some “go juice” starting tomorrow. yippee! in the meantime, I pretty much shot my wad tonight. Also, there was gin.]

The post at 5:41 was lifted from Scott Pakin’s automatic complaint-letter generator. More cut-and-paste crap from Saul.

Well that’s just stupid. The complaint generator lets you pick a one-paragraph complaint.

Witness:
“I know this topic has been beaten to death lately, but something needs to be said. Mr. Barack Hussein Obama wants his cowardice and irresponsibility to be regarded as prudence. So, without further ado, I present you with this all-important piece of information: If we let Obama develop a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to stand by our principles and be true to them on all occasions, in all places, against all foes, and at whatever cost, all we’ll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization. Let me leave you with one last thought: Obama’s communications make about as much sense as jumping off a building and hoping you’ll sprout wings on the way down.”

I mean, that’s still fucking stupid, but at least it doesn’t tax the generator’s engines.

I can’t wait for the Absolut Alaska ads with the Commie Russians taking most of the great state of AK!

The Red Peril!

-GSD

“For many reasons, too many and too complex to go into here at this time, I must say that he never tires of trying to extinguish fires with gasoline.”

Because every picture wingnut tells a story , and they all have to be dealt with . Kerry proved that ignoring the bs , as it deserves, doesn’t work.

“that if Obama’s comrades get their way, society as we know it will cease to exist “

Hallah-Freakin’-leuh!
If only that were true . I doubt Obama can change as much as he’d like, or you imagine . I do hope Wright’s anti-militarism rubbed off on Obama , and he’s just keeping it to himself ’til after . (Strange to actually be wishing for a hidden agenda. )

“Obama is Wingnuts are still going around insisting that we’re supposed to shut up and smile when he they says uneducated things. Jeez, I we thought I we had made it perfectly clear to him them that I we find his their perversions rather minatory stupid and ridiculous.”

“Maybe then Obama will realize that he says that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point.”

Yeah, thanks for the how-to lesson Mike.

Why don’t you say you just don’t like him, and skip all the contortions . It’d be more honest .

The strike is nly working on “preview”?

My complaint about Sen. John S McCain
Sen. John S McCain’s weltanschauung is that it’s inappropriate to teach children right from wrong, but that’s not the point of this letter. The point is that immoral dossers all over the country are now having an absolute field day with their new-found freedoms supposedly granted by Sen. McCain’s roorbacks. To begin with, Sen. McCain wants to get me thrown in jail. He can’t cite a specific statute that I’ve violated, but he does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that Sen. McCain’s assertions have merged with tribalism in several interesting ways. Both spring from the same kind of reality-denying mentality. Both bamboozle people into believing that Sen. McCain’s personal attacks are our final line of defense against tyrrany. And both supply the chains that bind the individual to notions of self-loathing and unworthiness.

According to the laws of probability, we must reach out to people with the message that by letting Sen. McCain suppress controversy and debate, we are playing a loser’s game. We must alert people of that. We must educate them. We must inspire them. And we must encourage them to issue a call to conscience and reason. He can’t possibly believe that the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible. He’s wily but he’s not that wily. If an attempt to take control of a nation and suck it dry isn’t stultiloquent, it certainly is disdainful. Unfortunately, I can already see the response to this letter. Someone, possibly Sen. John S McCain himself or one of his hired goons, will write an uncongenial piece about how fatuitous I am. If that’s the case, then so be it. What I just wrote sorely needed to be written.

Awesome machine!

Matt McCanned needs a response?

Here ’tis.

Goin’ to the Chapel.
and we’re
Goin’ to get Garried!

From Wikipedia

In June 2004 [Michelle Malkin] launched a political blog which quickly became a popular conservative blog…After initially allowing reader comments, she disabled them, attributing her decision to an intolerable level of obscene and racist comments.

If there’s one thing Malkin can’t stand it’s competition from her readership.

My complaint about Shorter Matt M McMahon, Esq.

Within the compass of this letter, I can do no more than indicate, as concisely as I can, relevant considerations that must be taken into account if we are to discuss Shorter Matt M McMahon, Esq.’s gruesome tirades in a rational manner. First things first: If Shorter McMahon gets his way, none of us will be able to punish those who lie or connive at half-truths. Therefore, we must not let Shorter McMahon undermine the individualistic underpinnings of traditional jurisprudence. The last time I heard him ramble on in his characteristically bibulous blather he said something about wanting to make capricious sad sacks out to be something they’re not. I feel sorry for the human race when I hear stuff like that.

Before long, Shorter Matt McMahon might be diagnosed with a special type of neurological disorder that is not yet recognized. But for now, be aware that I am reminded of the quote, “He has become so ophidian, so moved beyond the realm of reason, that I feel compelled to shine a light on his efforts to lead me down a path of pain and suffering.” This comment is not as hideous as it seems because I want to live my life as I see fit. I can’t do that while Shorter McMahon still has the ability to stifle dissent. It is disgraceful that, with a wink and a smile, he has signified his approval of caustic individuals who take over society’s eyes, ears, mind, and spirit. Shorter McMahon is terrified that there might be an absolute reality outside himself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of his wishes, theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees. In whatever form it takes — magazines, music, propaganda, or any other form — his rhetoric is designed to create anomie. You might object to my claim that he has failed entirely to grasp the essence of my criticisms of him. But bear in mind that the time is always right to do what is right. That’s why we must take steps toward creating an inclusive society free of attitudinal barriers. The first step in that process is to realize that everybody is probably familiar with the cliche that on theoretical grounds alone, his statements are so filled with errors that I feel some futility in replying to them. Well, there’s a lot of truth in that cliche. Help me put to rest repugnant and boisterous complaints such as Shorter Matt M McMahon, Esq.’s. Join your hands with mine in this, the greatest cause of our time.

Relax Matt , it’s just a joke/demonstration. 🙂 I don’t mean it. (Hell,….. I don’t even know what it says)

Bringin it all back home:

“Okay, let’s do it. Let’s look at our situation realistically and from a viewpoint that takes in the whole picture. For the sake of review, there’s something I’ve observed about Michelle Malkin. Namely, she may not know how to spell “anthrohopobiological” but she indisputably knows how to turn ingrates loose against us good citizens. I’ve further observed that sometimes I think that Michelle is simply a willing pawn of those caustic pip-squeaks who divert our attention from serious issues. I typically drop that willing-pawn notion, however, whenever I remember that Michelle commonly appoints ineffective people to important positions. She then ensures that these people stay in those positions because that makes it easy for Michelle to shout obscenities at passers-by.

Almost everyone will agree that I’ve never encountered anything as self-indulgent as Michelle’s pleas, but Michelle is like a giant octopus sprawling its slimy length over city, state, and nation. Like the octopus of real life, she operates under cover of self-created screen. Michelle seizes in her long and powerful tentacles our executive officers, our legislative bodies, our schools, our courts, our newspapers, and every agency created for the public protection. If you want a better opportunity to get a job, raise a family in a safe neighborhood, have a better chance at a good education, and lower the taxes on the money you earn, then I ask that you help me fight scurrility and slander. If history follows its course, it should be evident that many of the people I’ve talked to have said that Michelle and her loyalists should all be put up against a wall and given traitors’ justice. Without commenting on that specifically I’d merely like to point out that Michelle plans to alter laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations. What can you do about that? Start by reading about how Michelle demands her freedoms while unhesitatingly and hypocritically encroaching upon the rights of others. Become informed about the deceit, lies, and propanganda surrounding her promotion of sesquipedalianism. Tell everyone you know that Michelle complains a lot. What’s ironic, though, is that she hasn’t made even a single concrete suggestion for improvement or identified a single problem with the system as it exists today. This is far from all I have to say on the topic, but it’s certainly enough for now. Just remember one thing: The sun has never shone on a more choleric and bilious person than Michelle Malkin.”

The complaint generator is particularly fond of “sesquipedalian.”

My complaint about Vandalay Industries

As a citizen of this country, which I believe in and which I have seen Vandalay Industries tear apart, I must transform our culture of war and violence into a culture of peace and nonviolence. Instead of focusing on why only merciless vandals ever aver that Vandalay Industries’s exegeses are “grandly compelling”, “articulate and persuasive”, or “a vital contribution”, I would like to remind people that it doesn’t do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of Vandalay Industries’s press releases in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must stand as a witness in the divine court of the eternal judge and proclaim that pointing out that Vandalay Industries wants to endorse a complete system of leadership by mobocracy is like pointing out that garbage attracts flies. What I had wanted for this letter was to write an analysis of Vandalay Industries’s notions. Not an exhortation or a shrill denunciation, but an analysis. I hope I have succeeded at that.

Did I say this thing is awesome?

This thing is awesome .

The sun has never shone on a more choleric and bilious person than Michelle Malkin.”

Correction: She ‘s a former contributor of Billous O’Reilly.

I love the complaint generator. I used it a couple of years ago for my wife’s friend when she was pissed off at her boss — it wrote a very long, drawn-out, wordy, non-sensical compaint letter about this nasty boss, & I gave it to her (the friend). I thought she understood that it was a joke, but then she said that it was really well written and that our daughter will have a great vocabulary! Sometimes, not everyone gets the joke.

Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages

I tried dissipating a strawberry flummery by skimming a few random pages of the cookbook. The Frau Doktorin found the resulting mess… there is now a cold sullen silence in the house.
I blame J–, for prompting the whole idea with his observation that “the strawberries from Colonia Tovar are delicious”. Clearly he is part of the conspiracy.

In this letter, I plan to discuss Sadly No’s unconscionable paroxysms quite extensively. Note that the details aren’t pleasant. In fact, they’re shocking. But I contend that people who don’t know what Sadly No is up to undeniably need to be shocked. But before I continue, allow me to explain that if we take Sadly No’s zingers to their logical conclusion, we see that in a matter of days, Sadly No will truck away our freedoms for safekeeping. Now that you’ve read my entire letter, I hope you’ve concluded that my plan to expose injustice and puncture prejudice is deserving of serious consideration.

Go ahead, flirt with that automatic complaint-letter generator. You know it won’t fulfill you for long. Once you get bored and sesquipedalian, you’ll come running back to me with your tail between your legs.

Pfft. It’s all about the pomo generator. However, the algorithm to the modo generator has yet to be discovered, so there is work to be done in this area.

ahhh yes..

Another orgasm for Michelle!

While this is a pretty fucking idiotic Malkinite campaign, I think her whining about Major League Baseball’s courtship of Latin players and fans is a singularly AND perpetually stupid enterprise. That’s pretty hard to beat.

You telling me that our borders are being penetrated by undocumented alien insects?

Where do you think all those bees have been disappearing to? They’re amassing south of the border, to swarm over the borders while carrying Mexican insurgents the moment Black Caesar is elected, stinging whitey and spreading that dirty mexican pollen everywhere.

Yeah, whatever, yukk it up now, but with the help of our swedish brothers we shall reclaim what was once ours, and shall be one with our ancestors!

We will surf the mighty bison once more, make tacos of your children! The blood will flow like salsa in the streets!

You people are stupid and sophmoric. Absolut is running anti-American ads, so they can go fuck themselves.

Simple.

I could write a very angry letter right now about The Truth, but I decided instead merely to express some constructive criticism. When writing this letter, I had originally intended to segregate the pure errors of fact in The Truth’s comments from the assertions of questionable judgment where there could be room for dispute. I eventually decided against that approach because if we criticize The Truth’s complicity in the widespread establishment of commercialism then the sea of terrorism, on which The Truth so heavily relies, will begin to dry up.

However, if we stick together we can can show the world that The Truth is like a magician who produces a dove in one hand while the other hand is busy trying to feed us ever-larger doses of his lies and crackpot assumptions. That’s all I have to say about The Truth so I guess I’ll stop writing now. Oh, and Truth: Before you start formulating a smart reply, don’t bother because I’m just not interested.

The Truth,

Your message

was deleted without being read on Sun, 6 Apr 2008 16:36:30 -0500

Hey “The Truth”,

You are the stupid, sophomoric, anti-American one for wanting Absolute to ‘go fuck themselves’ for exercising their right to free speech.

Simple.

I tried dissipating a strawberry flummery by skimming a few random pages of the cookbook. The Frau Doktorin found the resulting mess… there is now a cold sullen silence in the house.
I blame J–, for prompting the whole idea with his observation that “the strawberries from Colonia Tovar are delicious”. Clearly he is part of the conspiracy.

In Colonia Tovar they typically serve the strawberries with cream. Some people drive up from Caracas to have this dish and then drive back home. I believe this dessert is often called Strawberries Romanov, which means they’re czarists up there.

The Mexicans, the Swedes, the Russians, the French, the Spanish (see BBVA and Compass Bank). Who doesn’t have their eye on the U.S. Southwest? I know I do. If you ain’t in on the big land grab, you ain’t nothing. It’s like the Scramble for Africa all over again, except this time with AC!

Plus you misspelled “sophomoric.”

There are misspellings and there extra felicitous misspellings. Doncha love it when the idjits manage to get the one word wrong that makes them look silliest?

Sadly, The Truth and other fucking pieces of racist filth won out:

Absolut apologizes for Mexican Vodka ad.

When I first saw the picture of Maulkin looking cross-eyed at the camera with the title of her book, “Unhinged”, underneath in the text, I thought this was a Saturday Night Live parody of some kind. Seriously.

There’s some inspiration for you creative types to run with. Maulkin WOULD be perfect fodder for SNL if she was better know but someone could make internet history by creating some parodies of that shrill bitch that would make a lot of people laugh until they squirted their coffee out their noses.

The power-hungry Swedish overlords are desperately trying to get a stranglehold on new markets in which to peddle their perverse Scandinavian food products.

Better be careful. The next thing they’ll do is try to poison us all with salt licorice.

Mark Noonan wants in on this crazy.

Barack Obama is a big black meanie. So sayeth I, Matt McMahon, supreme leader of the universe and total fucking douchebag.

And former “most liberal” poster on Sadly,No!.

Whenever I hear this reconquista crap, I always think of this one scene from the movie Lonestar – sorry this next bit is so long but this scene always makes me laugh.

ANGLO MOTHER
You’re just tearin’ everything down!
Tearin’ down our heritage, tearin’
down the memory of people that fought and died for this land.

CHICANO FATHER
We fought and died for this land, too! We fought the U.S. Army, the Texas Rangers–

ANGLO FATHER
Yeah, but you lost, buddy!
Winners get the bragging rights, that’s how it goes.

PRINCIPAL
People–people– I think it would be best not to put things in terms of winners and losers–

ANGLO MOTHER
Well, the way she’s teachin’ it has got everything switched around. I
was on the textbook committee, and her version is not–

PRINCIPAL
We think of the textbook as kind of a guide, not an absolute–

ANGLO MOTHER
–it is not what we set as the standard! Now you people can believe
what you want, but when it comes to teaching our children–

CHICANO MOTHER
They’re our children, too!

ANGLO FATHER
The men who founded this state have a right to have their story–

DANNY
The men who founded this state broke from Mexico
because they needed slavery to be legal to make a fortune
in the cotton business!

PILAR
I think that’s a bit of an oversimplification–

ANGLO FATHER
Are you reporting this meeting or runnin’ it, Danny?

DANNY
Just adding a little historical perspective–

ANGLO FATHER
You may call it history, but I call it propaganda. I’m sure they got
their own account of the Alamo on
the other side, but we’re not on the
other side, so we’re not about to have it taught in our schools!

PILAR
There’s no reason to be so threatened
by this–I’ve only been trying to get across
some of the complexity of our
situation down here–cultures coming
together in both negative and positive
ways.

ANGLO MOTHER
If you mean like music and food and
all, I have no problem with that. –but when you start changing who
did what to who.

TEACHER
We’re not changing anything, we’re
presenting a more complete picture.

ANGLO MOTHER
And that’s what’s got to stop!

TEACHER
There’s enough ignorance in the world
without us encouraging it in the
classroom–

ANGLO MOTHER
Now who are you calling ignorant?

PRINCIPAL
Folks, I know this is a very emotional
issue for some of you, but we do
have other business to attend to–

CHICANO FATHER
We’re not going to get some resolution
on this?

PRINCIPAL
Would you people like to form another
committee?

In the interests of original intent….

A true Patriot of the United Colonies dust drinketh the homeland whiskey and not the white swill of the Lutheran pretenders from across the seas. They conspire with Spain against our national security and seek our western lands.
– George Washington, 1774

I think it’s pretty clear, the conspiracy lives.

Ha, nice. I call bogus though because the big drink pre-1790 or so was rum, not whiskey. And also Washington would have written “confpire”. And probably he’d promote hemp instead:

I fmoke two Jointes in ye Morninge, I fmoke two Jointes at Nighte,
I fmoke two Jointes in ye After-Noone, it maketh me feel All-Ryghte.
I fmoke two Jointes in Time of Peace, & two in Time of War
I fmoke two Jointes before I fmoke two Jointes, & then I fmoke two more

Posted this blithering Malkin from over 5 years ago.

Hilarious – eighteen and a half words nailed all of you, pissed you off, and made you sputter ineffectively.

Too funny. You people really are stupid.

I’ll be back to skewer all of you again next time. I’ll be concise, too.

I’ll be back to skewer all of you again next time.

Grist for the mill.

‘Better be careful. The next thing they’ll do is try to poison us all with salt licorice.’ (g said)
Or this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surstr%C3%B6mming

Ha, nice. I call bogus though because the big drink pre-1790 or so was rum, not whiskey.

I have to confess to a great disappointment. I checked back with my astrologer and she wouldn’t stand by the Washington quote – like el Doughboy and the Ben Stein, I thought that I’d give the unreality, alternative world view realm a whirl. Very disappointing. Apologies to George….and, of course, the whiskey cartel.

well, looks like michelle malkin won. the ad has been pulled.

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