Another Obama Gift to Wingnuts

Jake ‘Dat Ass’ Tapper:

Obama ran off before I could ask him if he’d just snuck a smoke, so I called his campaign.

They denied it. He’d quit months before, in February, they insisted. He chewed nicorette…

Except….last night on MSNBC’s Hardball, Obama admitted that his attempt to wean himself from the vile tobacco weed had not been entirely successful…

It’s not a big deal in the scheme of things — the war on Iraq, a major economic crisis — indeed, it’s miniscule. Hardly worth mentioning.

Except that I don’t like feeling that I wasn’t being dealt with honestly. And as much as citizens who are suspect of the media might scoff at such a notion, many of us consider ourselves to be your representatives to help make sure our leaders are telling us the truth, and leading the country down a path we’re confident is the right one.

Now, in addition to the n-word, the mouthbreathing set gets to say ‘fags’ with impunity. I can’t wait for OldPunk’s perspective.

[Gavin adds: Oh, just wait for the word, ‘nicorette,’ to be pronounced with a bit too much jaunty eyebrow, perhaps on Fox & Friends.]

Also, Tapper? Save the ‘noble watchdog’ hooey for torture memos and such. Not for the TMZ-style garbage. It’s the journo version of crying wolf.


(Via Roy.)

 

Comments: 77

 
 
 

The fact is, everyone finds torture memos boring. And war? War is poopy.

People care about this stuff, and I’m a super-duper journalist guy for giving it to them. Barrack Hussein Osama Marx Castro Buckner Webber Obama is a lying liar who lies because he smokes.

 
 

Except that I don’t like feeling that I wasn’t being dealt with honestly. And as much as citizens who are suspect of the media might scoff at such a notion, many of us consider ourselves to be your representatives to help make sure our leaders are telling us the truth, and leading the country down a path we’re confident is the right one.

Did Tapper really print this? Are you sure this isn’t snark? As anyone who has lived through these last 7+ years, what the f–k is Tapper thinking? Has he said this about King George? or AG AG? I think Jake Tapper deserves Wanker of the Day for this.

 
 

Holy crap: http://instapundit.com/archives2/017400.php

Even Glenn Reynolds says this is hackdom.

 
 

That’s just Reynolds’ love of Big Tobacco trumping his hatred of Obama.

 
 

Hey, there’s plenty of room on my island, even for InstaDoofus.

 
Your Uncle Bastard
 

But, but, but…being the “noble watchdog” is central to AssTapper’s point! Indeed it is ample evidence of his douchebaggery.

 
 

The most egregious portion of the whole story is that Tapper assumes he was being lied to by Obama and yet never actually asked Obama anything. For someone to lie to you, asswipe, they have to talk to you first. What a dickwad.

 
 

And then Obama claimed he invented the internets while starring in every major motion picture made in the mid 70s.

 
 

The fact is, here is more proof that Obama does not have the character to be President. if he ever got elected, which he won’t because he is black. Just saying.

 
 

many of us consider ourselves to be your representatives

One set of venal idiots is enough without Scott sTapper’s pretentions.

 
 

BREAKING EXCLUSIVE MUST CREDIT SOME GUY ON THE INTERNET

So I asked an Obama supporter if he’d lend me a couple bucks if I could get a Starbucks coffee. Guy says, “Sure, gimme a minute because I have to finish this phone list.” Then never gets back to me! I was somewhat sleepy later that day!

It’s not the denial of my coffee. It’s that I don’t like being lied to.

 
 

McCain ran off before I could ask him if he’d just eaten some paste, so I called his campaign.

They denied it. He’d quit months before, in February, they insisted. He mainlined heroin now…

Except….last night on MSNBC’s Hardball, McCain admitted that his attempt to wean himself from the vile Elmer’s goofballs had not been entirely successful…

It’s not a big deal in the scheme of things — Obama smoking, the radical blackness of Obama’s preacher — indeed, it’s miniscule. Hardly worth mentioning.

Except that I don’t like feeling that I wasn’t being dealt with honestly. And as much as citizens who are suspect of the media might scoff at such a notion, many of us consider ourselves to be your representatives to help make sure our leaders are telling us the truth, and leading the country down a path we’re confident is the right one.

Also, I wanted some of that paste.

 
Punching Everyone
 

AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH GNNNNNAAAAAAAARG

 
 

Has President Bush weaned himself from his vile Consitution-shredding habit? Or is he still chewing on the Bill of RIghts?

Jake Tapper is a suppurating boil on the ass of the American media.

 
 

So Obama lied because some phone-answering schmo his staff didn’t know the nicorette wasn’t working? I don’t know, for some reason I’m having a hard time feeling the outrage on this one.

 
 

What does it mean to be “suspect of the media?” If I was suspect of the media does that mean the media suspects I did something? Do they perhaps think I stuffed a stratocaster down my pants and limped away? Are they doubtful of me?

Because if I was to have doubts regarding the media, I believe I would be suspicious of the media. What the hell, are wingnuts just unable to edit or do they do a Jackson Pollock and spew a bunch of words onto their screen and then run away?

 
 

Bush could be found chugging a bottle of Wild Turkey straight from the bottle before the STate of the Union, and it wouldn’t be covered. And we have to ask if Obama is a secret ex-smoker?

What the hell?

 
 

Yeah, that’s right, there’s a bottle in the bottle! It’s like Alien.

I need a drink.

 
 

It’s about time we had an unapologetic smoker in the White House. And no, I’m not joking. I want to see him light up at his first press conference. Fuck anyone who doesn’t like it.

 
 

Okay, so let’s start the pre-impeachment hearings now. The pre-president lied! Well, not exactly, but, you know, him being a democrat and all that, we can’t take any chances. What kind of example is he setting? We don’t want third graders having their spokespeople saying they quit smoking when they really haven’t, do we?

 
 

Nicotine is a hell of a drug.

 
 

Jake’s a little miffed that his big scoop isn’t getting the awed reception it deserves. I’ve posted a couple of times over at Jake’s blog regarding this story – no profanity, mind you – and all of my comments have been deleted. I was just trying to help: I told him I had heard that John McCain had once farted and tried to blame it on the dog, and that Hillary Clinton had been caught double dipping her chips in the salsa. Then there’s the mystery of who keeps leaving the seat up in Air Force One. I’m hoping he uses his keen sense of smell to sniff out the Pulitzer-potential in these blockbuster scoops.

 
 

many of us consider ourselves to be your representatives to help make sure our leaders are telling us the truth, and leading the country down a path we’re confident is the right one.

What would be an appropriate analogy here? My house catches on fire. The fire department shows up and, while the house burns, the firefighters focus all of their attention on putting out my mailbox. When that’s out, my house having been turned into a pile of cinders, they turn to me and say, “no need to thank us, just doing our job” and then get in their trucks and drive away.

 
 

Whqat’s really amusing is this: That POS is among Jake Tapper’s better work. No, Really.

 
 

Is this Jake Tapper supposed to be a professional journalist and/or writer or something? Don’t such people usually know how to spell “minuscule”?

 
 

That would be the same Jack Tapper who won the S/N! prize for journalist most likely to be illiterate. http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/8637.html

 
Duros Hussein 62
 

It’s not a big deal in the scheme of things — the war on Iraq, a major economic crisis — indeed, it’s miniscule. Hardly worth mentioning.

And yet, here you are.

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?

 
 

Tapper sez: Except that I don’t like feeling that I wasn’t being dealt with honestly. And as much as citizens who are suspect of the media might scoff at such a notion, many of us consider ourselves to be your representatives to help make sure our leaders are telling us the truth

As Joe Klein’s Conscience says above, Tapper deserves a Wanker of the Year award for this one. Just how many fucking times has Karl Rove & co lied with impunity to Tapper & his colleagues as “anonymous sources” or “highly placed administration officials”????

Unbelievable.

 
 

That’s because anonymous people never have to be held to account.

I mean, nobody’s making spelling corrections to “Sir Gawain and the Green Knight” or “Sumer is Icumen In,” are they?

 
 

“Last August, I ran into Jake Tapper, media guy, outside a bar in the Capitol.

This was before the promotion to ABC News, before he had the omnipresent publicity agents, back when you might see him strolling solo.

We chatted for a second, mainly about the Iraq War and about how he and the media had fucked up the coverage of it. He was in good spirits.

As any close friend or family member can attest, I have an unusually keen sense of smell and immediately I smelled goat semen on Tapper. Frankly, he reeked of goat semen.

Tapper ran off before I could ask him if he’d just blown a goat, so I called his producers.

They denied it. He’d quit blowing goats months before, in February, they insisted. He chewed goat-dick flavored toothpicks .

But I knew what I’d smelled and I asked his producers to double-check and to ask him if he’d blown a goat.

They reported back that he had told them he hadn’t blown a goat since he quit.

And maybe that was true. Maybe I imagined the goat semen. My olfactory nerve somehow misfired.

Except….last night on MSNBC’s Hardball, Tapper admitted that his attempt to wean himself from blowing goats had not been entirely successful.

“I fell off the wagon (into the barnyard) a couple times during the course of it, and then was able to get back on,” he said. “But it is a struggle like everything else.”

Now I wonder about last August.”

Fixt.

 
 

Jake has such a purty mouth!

 
 

And such a nimble tongue!

 
An anonymous goat
 

This had better be “off the record”.

 
 

I’m insulted. Jake never even gave me a second look!

 
 

“It’s not a big deal in the scheme of things—his infantile articles, his incessant regurgitation of gooper talking points—indeed, it’s miniscule. Hardly worth mentioning.

Except that I don’t like feeling that I wasn’t being dealt with honestly. And as much as journalists who are suspect of ordinary citizens might scoff at such a notion, we consider ourselves to have the right to the truth, and to be sure the media is telling us the truth, about blowing goats, and illegal wars, and leading the country down a path we’re confident is the wrong one. (Corny, I know.)”

Fixt.

(not sure why my comment didn’t fully post)

 
 

“I don’t like feeling that I wasn’t being dealt with honestly. And as much as citizens who are suspect of the media might scoff at such a notion, many of us consider ourselves to be your representatives to help make sure our leaders are telling us the truth, and leading the country down a path we’re confident is the right one.”

Are you fucking kidding me Jake?

jesus what a fucking wanker.

 
 

I see my fellow commenters preceeded me, with both ‘wanker’ and “are you fucking kidding me?” Love it here.

 
 

Obama has already been caught lying about several things. I doubt one more will turn people off.

 
 

And cbear wins the thread (with an assist from a number of goats.)

 
 

Bob Tillman has already been caught lying about blowing goats. I doubt one more blown goat will turn people off.

 
North Chowderville
 

Speaking of ratting people out, have a look at McCain’s bizarre new campaign video.

-via Carpetbagger.

 
 

I’ve been on this forum less than a day,and I get my first lewd response. Thanks it is pretty much what I expected.

I guess the several Obama lies don’t turn you off.

 
A number of goats
 

Thank you.

And thanks for the morning-after flowers, Mr. Tillman.

 
 

I’ve been on this forum less than a day,and I get my first lewd response.

You ninny. I had to work like a dog for mine.

 
Billy Goat's Gruff
 

Thanks tillman but next time, watch the teeth.

 
 

Bob, when you finish with Billy, could you help me climb over the fence.

 
 

“I get my first lewd response”

Is that Ben Shapiro?

 
 

Bob, you’ll never make it in these here parts….now get that tuft of wool out of your zipper and head back to the city.

 
 

I’ve been on this forum less than a day,and I get my first lewd response. Thanks it is pretty much what I expected.

Wait ’til you get the Anniversary present! Hint: Gav usually dresses like a cowboy.

I guess the several Obama lies don’t turn you off.

First — spot the lie here. If you can, I’ll send you a pony.

Second — I want to say something sarcastic and funny. But nothing is coming up. So how about this: when you remove your head from your ass, please describe all of “teh liez” of Obama and compare them to the tapestry of deceit of our current leadership. And then get those goat pubes out of your mouth young man!

 
Duros Hussein 62
 

Speaking of ratting people out, have a look at McCain’s bizarre new campaign video.

-via Carpetbagger.

What’s with all the horizontal doobie smoke in that ad?

 
 

I love the quick wit and humor that liberals have. Makes me wonder why I ever left the Democratic party.

Yet still you don’t want to comment on Obamas aversion to telling the truth.

 
 

I’ve been on this forum less than a day,and I get my first lewd response. Thanks it is pretty much what I expected.

I guess the several Obama lies don’t turn you off.

Silly–Obama could tell hundreds of lies, and that still wouldn’t turn us off from making lewd comments.

I mean, hell, we’ve had so much practice making lewd comments in the face of GOP lies, we’re professionals at this.

 
 

Did you know that if you re-arrange the letters in “bob tillman”, you can spell “I blow goats”? Neither did I.

 
 

Hey! Get your mouth off my gruff! Lord only knows where your mouth has been.

 
 

As a practicing lewdist I demand to know Obama’s position on lewdist camps.

 
 

I love the quick wit and humor that liberals have. Makes me wonder why I ever left the Democratic party.

You didn’t hear? The Yousta-Bee nonsense of Joe Lieberman, Zell Miller, Jay Ambrose, and others went out of style about three years ago. You don’t intrigue America anymore. Sorry.

But do tell us- where did you go after leaving the Democratic Party? Because if you’re shacking up with people like those that reside on ClownHall, or on The Corner, or on Hot Air, or at RenewAmerica, I’m not really sure how you’re avoiding strident assholes. And if you’ve gone the Lieberman route and now believe that everything the Bush White House does is correct by virtue of it being done by the Bush White House, then I’m not sure how you’ve avoided big government shills. Maybe you’re in it for the Fight Against Islamofascism, but if you really gave a rip about that you’d realize that the Iraq War has enabled our enemies more than anything.

So really. Do tell me how you’ve changed, where you’ve gone, etc. Because although America has let you to rot like the self-absorbed toolish lot you are, I’m still interested. Really.

Yet still you don’t want to comment on Obamas aversion to telling the truth.

Obama has played loose with the facts on more than one occasion, and I wish he’d stop saying that McCain says the Iraq War will go on for 100 years. Honestly I’d rather him focus on the actual quote, which was just as bogus (comparing a situation like South Korea to Iraq is some BS).

But I’m curious…what horse are you getting behind for November? Because if you’re turned off by Obama because he’s a liar, I’ve got some news for you about John “Iran is training al-Qaida” McCain or Hillary “(obvious)” Clinton.

 
 

LEAVE BOB TILLMAN ALONE!
JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE!
HE NEVER DID NOTHING TO YOU!!!!

Baaaaaa! baaaaaaaaa!

(sorry, it had to be said)

 
 

I’m sorry. I’m sick to damn death of mealy-mouthed centrists who jumped on board with the Neo-con Express from 2001-2003, then acted like they were lifelong liberals who left their beliefs behind because progressives had grown too decadent/racist/hateful/whatever. That might have been true for Horowitz or Simon, but it’s an absolute lie for most people.

Look at Chuckles Johnson’s archives over at LGF. Before 9/11, he was posting some concern troll bullcrap about why blacks didn’t achieve. THAT’s the face of most Yousta-Bees. Aimless jerks who thought they found a winner in Bushland.

 
A very special goat
 

Makes me wonder why I ever left the Democratic party.

At least there’s no need to wonder why you left your wife, my darling.

 
 

Yet still you don’t want to comment on Obamas aversion to telling the truth

Can I comment on your aversion to reading comprehension?
The post is about Tapper, not Obama. Any other politician or candidate could be substituted without changing the main idea, to wit: After years of ignoring deadly lies and dangerous law-breaking by this cult of the unitary executive, Tapper has the gall to comment that “many of us consider ourselves to be your representatives to help make sure our leaders are telling us the truth”. Really? Where have these brave guardians of truth, justice, and the American way been hiding for the past 10 years?

Evern worse, for Tapper to make this ludicrous, self-aggrandizing comment in the context of “did a candidate sneak out for a smoke”–rather than, say, “were US citizens illegally spied on” or “is the US torturing suspects in various prisons around the world” or “what the heck happened to that anthrax, anyway” or “what happened to those 2 years of emails that the White House ‘lost’ in apparant violation of the Presidential Record act”–is so far beyond asinine as to defy description.

Indeed, the most pressing question of this post and this topic is “How does Tapper’s head not impode from the singularity of stupid it would take just to have that thought–much less write it down, edit it, and post it publicly?”

Or, as more succinctly put by several commenters, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

 
Andrew A. Gill, SLS
 

Except….last night on MSNBC’s Hardball, Obama admitted that his attempt to wean himself from the vile tobacco weed had not been entirely successful…

The weed of nicotine bears bitter fruit.
Smoking does not pay.
The Tapper knows…

 
 

many of us consider ourselves to be your representatives to help make sure our leaders are telling us the truth

What. A. Tool.

 
 

Makes me wonder why I ever left the Democratic party.l

It makes me wonder how great it must be when you leave EVERY party.

 
 

“Makes me wonder why I ever left the Democratic party.”

Poor Bob’s lament reminds me of the old joke about the little Indian boy sitting dejectedly by the campfire. His father walks by:

Father: What’s wrong, my son?
Little Boy: Father, how is it we Indians come to be named?

Father: Well, when a young brave and a young squaw are courting they may witness an event of signifigance—-the bear standing tall in the meadow, hence the name “Standing Bear”. A deer running swiftly, hence the name “Running Deer”.
Little Boy: Oh.

Father: Now why so depressed, Two Goats Fucking?

 
 

Dorothy: Very well said.

 
 

many of us consider ourselves to be your representatives to help make sure our leaders are telling us the truth

Heck of a job, Tappie.

 
 

cbear:

Oh, man. That was just WRONG. Categorically, intrinsically and metaphysically WRONG.

I haven’t laughed like that since I played Chris Rock’s “Bigger and Blacker” last week.

 
 

O noes! A prezidental canidate iz sneekin’ cigs! *Yaaaaaaaawn* I’m sorry, the person you are trying to reach no longer cares. This is a recording. 206, 93.

At least he’s trying to quit. I’m also not surprised that he’s not having much luck — don’t people often smoke more under stress? As everyone else has said, on the grand scale of things to worry about when it comes to the next president, this is pretty much non-existant. Tapper’s a twit.

 
 

You say “lewd” like it was a bad thing. More I walk this earth, the more I think My Fellow Americans could stand a good bit more lewdness in their lives. I know I certainly could.

 
 

Obama ran off before I could ask him if he’d just snuck a smoke

I for one am glad to know that Obama takes off when confronted by whiny, self-obessed douchebags. I hope every member of the current administration is taking note and polishing up the old resume.

But this is the real reason Tapper is clutching his pearls. Obama didn’t stay to validate his existence. Doesn’t the Senator from Illinois know that his entire schedule screech to a halt if some dickhead wants to ask him some questions? Hmph!

He’s been hanging on to this stunning revelation for a while if the event took place pre-Secret Service escort. But being Tapper he bided his time, took careful aim and promptly blew away his favorite goat.

His journalism career began full time as a senior writer for the Washington City Paper from 1998 to 1999

Welp, that explains everything. Journalism and the Washington City Paper cannot co-exist. If journalism is a star the WCP is a big black hole.

In 2001 he hosted a TV show on CNN called Take Five in which young journalists and commentators discussed politics and pop culture. In 2002 he hosted a series of entertainment news specials on VH1

Jesus Christ, what are they smoking over at ABC? The man is made of Fail.

 
 

His journalism career began full time as a senior writer for the Washington City Paper from 1998 to 1999

Wow! From ’98 to ’99? That could be as much as almost two years! Or as little as a couple of weeks.

 
"Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut"
 

“It’s not a big deal in the scheme of things — the war on Iraq, a major economic crisis — indeed, it’s miniscule. Hardly worth mentioning. Except that I don’t like feeling that I wasn’t being dealt with honestly.”

Wait a minute. There’s a war still going on in Iraq? With the 24/7 blanket coverage of Teh Horse Race during the last 18 months, I had totally forgotten about Iraq. So, Tapper, how’s the search for WMD going?

 
 

Except that I don’t like feeling that I wasn’t being dealt with honestly.

Obama probably said “Good to see you Jake”. Think about that one Mr. Intrepid Reporter Guy.

 
 

Is this the same Jake Tapper who turned against Gore in 2000 because the campaign press bus once had the noive to leave without Jakey?

He whined in Salon about that. Gore wasn’t fit to be president, you know, because his campaign was unforgivably CARELESS about keeping track of the very special “representative” Jake thinks he is.

This guy’s totally self-referential (one might even say self-reVerential) world view is laughable, of course, but let’s be forewarned. He’s increasingly influential and and it looks like he’s intent on covering Obama the way he covered Gore, for the same reason: personal pique.

 
 

The intense scrutiny of presidential candidates creates a fertile environment for misspeaking, denial, lies. It’s getting the same here, now. Did any of you guys notice the Australian PM was in town recently? Apparently Kevin Rudd (or K-Rudd as some call him, does cruddy mean shoddy in the US?) met with Hillary and McCain but only had a phone hook-up with Obama because HE was campaigning. Unlike the others, I guess.

 
 

many of us consider ourselves to be your representatives to help make sure our leaders are telling us the truth, and leading the country down a path we’re confident is the right one.

So there are two criteria here that young Jake applies to politicians.
#1. Has he or she really stopped drinking? [insert any other questionable claim here].
#2. Am I personally comfortable with his or her policies?

# 1 sounds like a reasonably professional attitude, and it would be nice if Jake had stuck to it previously.
#2 — not so much.

 
 

What Dorothy said.

 
 

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