Shorter Michael Medved
Posted on April 2nd, 2008 by Travis G.
“They ain’t got enough real ones here,” Medved notes. “They got to have an artificial one.”*
- I had never noticed just how … black Barack Obama was until he pointed it out himself two weeks ago in a speech. Now I can’t stop thinking about it!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
* Cf.
The stained glass windows at the church identify Jesus with the dark skin tone of sub-Saharan Africa.
Oh, horrors!!! The DARK SKIN TONES of SUB-SAHARAN AFRICA!!!
I swear, this guy makes me want to rip out half his mustache and stuff it up his left nostril.
As chairman of the welcoming committee, it’s a pleasure to present this laurel and hearty handshake to our new…
Impostor chosen person Medved will be first against the wall at the first annual mandatory nationwide Kwanzaa observance!
Shorter Medved should’ve read:
Jesus weren’t no nigger! And I should know, being the Jew for Jesus that I am.
From his fantasy interrogation of Obama:
To your church, the racial identity of Jesus matters a great deal. Does it matter to you? Do you personally believe that Jesus was black?
Do you personally believe that Jesus was a white man with flowing light brown wavy hair and blue eyes?
I wonder if Dr. Mustachelove ever got this bent out of shape over all those paintings and stained glass windows showing Jesus as an Aryan superman? I’m guessing not.
Jesus is spinning in his grave.
The stained glass windows at my church identify Jesus with the white skin tone of Northern Europe. Your point?
Do you personally believe that Jesus was a white man with flowing light brown wavy hair and blue eyes?
The Bahble tells us that Jeezus is the bridegroom and us Chrishtuns are the bride.
*spits*
‘an I don’t intend to let no n*gger fuck me on my weddin’ night.
Also, do they REALLY think this will resonate with voters? I know old racism dies hard, but seriously…look at the polls. No one gives a shit about Obama’s pastor anymore.
Do you personally believe that Jesus was a white man with flowing light brown wavy hair and blue eyes?
It’s a known fact, that this was the predominant phenotype of Jews in the time of the Roman Empire.
Well, it’s a known fact to white Christians. Not that it matters to them.
Yup. Jimi Hendrix, Grandma, too. And Jackson Pollock.
The stained glass windows at the church identify Jesus with the dark skin tone of sub-Saharan Africa. To your church, the racial identity of Jesus matters a great deal.
Silly Black people, to represent your God as looking like you! We white people don’t do that, we show the real Jesus! Everyone know he really looked like this
“Do you personally believe that Jesus was a white man? “
Jesus was dreamy.
Jesus needs a shave and a haircut, the dirty hippie. He looks like Donnie Van Zant.
Verily I say unto thee, where the bitches at, yo?
“How would you characterize “black ethics” as different from the ethics that your white neighbors follow?”
Ummm … less cross burning? Or, given that this was Chicago, less redlining and fewer restrictive covenants?
BTW, where is all this righteous indignation from a jewish Medved about Hagee endorsing McCain. Afterall, these premillinialists like Hagee view Jews as nothing more than necessary fodder of the Apocalypse.
Who else thougth Jesus what a Northern European? Oh yeah:
http://nobeliefs.com/mementoes.htm
Well, the Bible tells us Jesus is “the way, the truth, and the life“, and Gustav Mahler wrote “Dunkel ist das Leben,” so there you go.
Is it just me, or in that picture of him, does it look like maybe Medved is… passing?
I still think Mel Brooks phrased it better in the original:
“The sheriff’s a ni(BONG)!”
Is it just me, or in that picture of him, does it look like maybe Medved is… passing?
Oh, I think he’s certifiably straight.
“You’re on your own son”
Why, oh why, did I read the comments over there?
I prefer Brad’s way of spelling ‘Jesus’.
Obama has made it clear that he does not wish to be white and that, my friends, is RACIST. It’s a pity too – he seemed like such a nice boy.
What if Obama isn’t black at all, but a reverse albino?
Gary?
It becomes urgent when you realize that both houses of Congress and the judicial system are overwhelmingly black, creating a real danger of punitive measures being taken against white people.
The important thing is to make sure that nobody who is the teeniest little bit racist can become president. Starting…. NOW.
Um, guess here, ’cause NO, I’m not gonna click the link, but c’mon, seriously, now.
There’s no real debate about the ethnic identity of any dood born in the galilee two thousand years ago, is there?
I mean, IS THERE?
Semitic. Brown. Palestinian.
Nobody’s really arguing otherwise, are they?
Cause that would really make my face hurt…
mikey
I just posted some question for Mr. Golden Turkey himself on Townhall:
1. How many extremist Likudnik rabbis right here in the U.S. who preach the genocide of the Palestinians have you denounced?
2. The Rev. Billy Graham was a spiritual advisor to several U.S. presidents including George W. Bush and the most famous preacher in America. Do you excuse his virulent anti-semitism because he tried (unsuccessfully in the long run) to keep it a secret?
3. Do you believe Jesus Christ was a full-blooded middle eastern Jew and therefore probably a great deal swarthier than the fair-haired, light-skinned European type depicted in many Christian churches? As an observant Jew, do you believe Christ was the Messiah and the son of God?
4. Why would you assume that the Christian Sen. Obama shares the beliefs of a Muslim (Rev. Farrakhan)? Do you actually believe all black people think and feel the same way?
5. Does it bother you that you’re a Jew who increasingly sounds like a Nazi, and do you enjoy being the object of widespread public ridicule (richly deserved)?
I think Medved is just worried that, once the presidency falls into the hands of someone who is black, it will never, you know, go back.
Juxtapose, for a moment, the previous John Yoo thread with this one.
In one, we have a sitting President and supporting cast who by most standards should be sitting in a prison somewhere. In the other, we have a presidential candidate whose preacher has, let’s stipulate for the sake of argument, over the years said some inflammatory things.
Michael Medved chooses to get his panties in a bunch over the preacher.
As the kids say these days, DoubleYoo, Tee, Eff?
I think Medved is just worried that, once the presidency falls into the hands of someone who is black, it will never, you know, go back.
Once the ladies get a look at that big black realpolitik in action, well… let’s just say “it’s twue, it’s twue!”
Jesus looks best as a pasty Scandinavian, which he of course originally was.
And Shakespeare sounds best in the original Klingon.
Revelations 1:14 — His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;
Jesus was in fact an evil albino.
It’s a fact, Jeezus was a hook-nosed jewboy. Dark skinned. All that shit. What is not well known is that he weighed four hundred pounds and spoke with a lisp.
GV got that idea from me, btw.
Clearly Jesus is Mexican… Or at least Honduran..
Shorter Medved: Can’t you see that man is a ni—-?!
OT but related to the Cassy Fiano post a few threads down, the stooopid bomerangs around the right wing blogosphere. I guess none of them are as bright as Cassy Fiano.
Since we’re all about denouncing things these days, as a Jew, I officially denounce Michael Medved.
Done esta le chicas blancas?
Shorter Medved: I used to be a pot-smoking, fornicating dirty hippie, but now I think Jesus was Aryan.
I left a comment for teh boomerang guy. Wonder if he’ll let it through, update his post, …
Thanks for the pointer SB, don’t you just love it when they do it?
I not only denounce Gary Ruppert I reject Gary Ruppert!
OT but related to the Cassy Fiano post a few threads down, the stooopid bomerangs around the right wing blogosphere.
Cassy would be better-placed to control such plagiarism (blogiarism?) if she took the trouble to mis-spell a few words.
Chocolate Jesus is just all right with me!
http://www.esquire.com/the-side/opinion/chocolatejesus032807
My sweet lord, indeedy!
Cassy would be better-placed to control such plagiarism (blogiarism?) if she took the trouble to misspell a few words.
[Heh. He’ll never know I took it.]
SB and SDU – Malkin is deliberately engaging in obfuscation by referring to it as their “budget” and then linking to an article that would leave an uninformed reader that PP makes $1 billion in profits. OMG! The horror. She knows she would be called out if she called it profits or income.
Calling their revenue “income” is obviously wrong, although I would not expect our Cassy to get that. Mark Rose? Who knows? he appears to be parroting the “budget” phrasing.
Chocolate Jesus is just all right with me!
Peeps Jesus is sweet too.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/adampsyche/7568363/
as a Jew, I officially denounce Michael Medved.
As a bad movie buff, I wonder what happened to him. The original ‘Golden Turkey Awards’ book and the pre-quel ‘The 50 Worst Films of All Time’ were witty, irreverent and fun. His co-writing brother must have been the rascal of the two. The stuff Michael writes and says now is just so humorless and lacking in imagination and humanity that it’s hard to believe he had anything to do with those books.
Barack Obama continues to face controversy
He pretty much loses me right there (the first six words of the article). The only places that Obama “continues to face controversy” are the pages of Townhall and like-minded blogs. Even Fox News seems to be giving it a rest, for now at least.
All of those books still sit on my bookshelf, just a few feet away. I actually had the opportunity to speak with his brother Harry a couple of times, and I think you pretty much nailed it. He was a warm, amusing guy who didn’t seem to take things too seriously.
I’m thinking Michael attached his name to those books so they could get a publishing deal. And that’s pretty much it.
I don’t care if it rains or freezes as long as I got my plastic Jebus sittin’ on the dasboard of my car.
Shorter Sadly Noites:
All Conservatives are inbred racist bigots. Let’s use that as an excuse to make black jokes!
Seeing the sephardic stock of the tribes of Judea, I’m forced to ponder…
Once you go brown you never come down???
Pretty much explains all of christianity to me…
Really? I thought we were making Jesus jokes.
And not all conservatives are inbred. You shouldn’t make those kind of generalities.
ooh, props for the Flannery O’Connor reference, Travis.
Shorter Sadly Noites:
All Conservatives are inbred racist bigots.
Not all. Just a hell of a lot of them. Conservative family trees generally seem to be slightly less “branchy”, though.
“Shorter Sadly Noites:
All Conservatives are inbred racist bigots.”
Uhh, are you implying they aren’t?
O.K. maybe not that inbred part.
I have seen literally 45 seconds worth of Wright’s sermons, and even I know his point was that Jesus was a member of a minority race that was looked down on by the ruling race. Whether the fucker was black or just kind of tan doesn’t seem to make much difference to that overall point.
In short, fuck you, whitey.
shoelimpy:
I projected all of my racism onto you people and all I got was this lousy martyr complex.
shoe->japanese->limpy:
Conservatism person everything is the obstinate house which had the prejudice of intimate incest. You will use as the explanation which makes thing black joke!
Shorter shoelimpy:
Poo pie, please!
So the ideas of black people can’t be American, universal, or Christian? Illogical racists jerk.
Actually, I thought they were way overrated. To start with, movies like “Plan Nine from Outer Space” are pretty easy targets. The writing in the Medveds’ books is loaded with obvious, sophomoric jokes and puns, liberally laced with fag- and furriner-bashing.
Revelations 1:14 — His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;
Jesus was in fact an evil albino.
Oh my god…Johnny Winter is Jesus!!!
ok, but… is he an albino black man or an albino white man?
Jesus wasn’t a minority race in the Judea of his day. The Jews were the majority. However Jesus did believe in being kind to the minority, as expressed in such parables as the Good Samaritan. He was also a bit of a bigot himself, believing that all non-Jews were dogs. Thankfully, though, it was pointed out to him that even the dog may sometimes eat scraps from the master’s table. If Pastor Wright can so fundamentally misunderstand the life of our Lord and Savior, one has to wonder what right he has to be a pastor at all.
Shorter Sadly Noites:
All Conservatives are inbred racist bigots. Let’s use that as an excuse to make black jokes!
You’re not going to “covertly convert” anyone with that attitude, dude.
One wonders why wingnuts would still be ranting about 45 seconds out of a man’s 30 year career, particularly when that man isn’t even the one running for office.
No…wait…one doesn’t wonder at all. It’s a pressure-release valve. Otherwise they’d already be chanting, “nigger nigger nigger.”
And don’t worry…they’ll get to that before it’s all over and done.
If shoelimpy can so fundamentally misunderstand the life of his Lord and Savior, one has to wonder where he gets off trying to “covertly convert” anyone at all.
So the ideas of black people can’t be American, universal, or Christian? Illogical racists jerk.
You are absolutely right. Ideas of a certain race can be universal. That is why I support White Ideas, White Values, White Pride.
It’s worth taking the time to look at Wright’s controversial comments in the context of his sermons. He is a remarkably moving speaker:
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOdlnzkeoyQ
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvMbeVQj6Lw
Not all conservatives are racists.
But all racists are conservatives.
Are you saying that Jesus, as a Jew, was not of the majority population of Judaea? Judaea is a place where JEWS lived. Get it? Jews? Judaea? Not very difficult to figure out. And yes, Jesus did have some racist tendencies. He did express some disdain in Gentile populations, calling them dogs and saying they were not worthy of the Gospel. However, he did change his viewpoint on this subject, for which all of the people on the Earth should be very grateful. He also said that we should all love one another as neighbors and brothers, regardless of what race we may be. These are all very simple facts that can be learned simply by picking up your Bible and reading it.
The writing in the Medveds’ books is loaded with obvious, sophomoric jokes and puns, liberally laced with fag- and furriner-bashing.
Ummm, you’re saying that HERE? I’m gay and never felt offended by anything that was written in those books or ever felt that the books had a mean streak. They were poking fun of everybody and everything but never got nasty or spiteful ever.
movies like “Plan Nine from Outer Space” are pretty easy targets.
But then they also took the time to write a lengthy and rather affectionate biography of Ed Wood, his other movies and his cronies. They obviously loved Wood’s story.
Not all conservatives are racists.
But all racists are conservatives.
Wow, where did you pick up this rubbish? Are you engaging in political profiling now?
Hey, wow, Black people aren’t a minority in America either, just look at Washington D.C.! The Jews were a politically oppressed minority within the Roman Empire, dumbass.
As for the Samaritans reference, what are you implying? That Jesus would think of black people as an inferior race, just barely worthy of salvation, but not worthy of equality? Fuck you. Next you can tell us about how God cursed the sons of Ham and commanded them to be slaves. Tell you what. If that’s your Jesus, fuck Jesus too. We can do better.
All I can say is thank goodness that soul dead fucks like that shoelimpy piece of crap don’t actually get to decide who “has a right” to be any goddam thing at all.
Dick…
mikey
The fact is, were Jesus alive today, he would own an M1 Battle rifle and a .500 S&W Magnum and be a Republican. He also would live in The Heartland, and be a Patriot who stands ready for when the Trumpet of Freedom sounds. I think his favorite movies would probably be The 300 and Transformers because of their Patriotic, Freedom Trumpeting Heartland values.
The fact also is that shoelimpy™ should eat a bowl of dicks.
Mr. Pedestrian, please, there is no need for anger here. While yes, Judea was under the control of the Roman Empire, local politics continued for the most part essentially within the Jewish community, the Romans were there, yes, but they were by no means the “majority.” In fact, throughout the Roman Empire, Romans were a minority. There were far more non-Romans than Romans in the Roman Empire, the Romans just happened to be the ones in control. A very different situation than the current United States. The Romans were occupiers, they were not a majority ethnic group.
As for your second paragraph, if you would like to engage in discussions with others, you should not make bigoted assumptions about them, i.e. that I must be saying that Jesus would hate black people because I am a Republican. I am saying nothing of the sort. I am simply pointing out facts: Christ did on occasion make bigoted statements. In fact, there are Africans in the Book of Acts who are baptized and welcomed into the Christian brotherhood very easily, which shows the Biblical viewpoint on whether or not Africans were worthy of the Gospel: they were and are, because black people are people just the same as any other: we are all God’s children. This is something you would understand if you were a Christian yourself, but you’re not.
mikey – limpdicky™ is virulently stupid. Talking to or about it actually has to power to make you dumber. I’ve sed to much allreddy…..feal teh stoopid takin over….
Shoelimpy is hanging over here because nobody hangs at his place. The comment counters are all currently set to bagel. I think Gary should post over there.
The fact is, were Jesus alive today, he would own an M1 Battle rifle and a .500 S&W Magnum and be a Republican. He also would live in The Heartland, and be a Patriot who stands ready for when the Trumpet of Freedom sounds. I think his favorite movies would probably be The 300 and Transformers because of their Patriotic, Freedom Trumpeting Heartland values.
Fuck all that nancy-boy shit.
If Jesus were alive today, he’d be fuckin’ VOLTRON. Because there’s nothing more bad-assed than being made of mechanical LIONS.
He was also a bit of a bigot himself, believing that all non-Jews were dogs.
How can a “perfect being” incapable of “sin” be a bigot?
Are you saying that Jesus, as a Jew, was not of the majority population of Judaea? Judaea is a place where JEWS lived. Get it? Jews? Judaea? Not very difficult to figure out.
Can you please take your retardedness somewhere else? Perhaps to Wikipedia, where you can learn just who had total political and military control of “Judea” or what is now Israel during the time of “Jesus”. Then, if you promise to improve your IQ a few points first, you can come back and tell us what you learned their “race” and ethnicity was.
Here’s a hint: they invented salami, and they loved orgies.
Then, if you’re not un-stupid enough at that point, you can look up how well the several hundred-million Indians in India fared with their majority racial status while under British rule for a more modern example of empire.
Here is a question for you, Mr. Pedestrian: Are Americans the majority ethnic group in Iraq right now?
didn’t early Christianity (ie: first couple of hunderd years) just make it a point of doing everything to piss everyone else off? Stealing their holidays (as if Jesus was born on 12/25) and doing everything they could to cut themselves off from contact with the people around them? Jesus was an inclusive dude, but Christianity has basically done everything that it can do to crawl up it’s own asshole and die (to steal a Vonnegut line). It’s designed for exclusion.
STD girl:
As I was explaining, there is a difference between being a minority ethnic group in a nation and being a nation which is imperially occupied by another. Now I will not disagree that some might see some similarities, however for the most part Jews were allowed to do and act as they pleased, so long as they did not challenge the Roman Empire’s control over them and they paid their taxes. The Jews did view themselves as a majority population, and you can see several references in the gospels to bigoted views towards minority groups such as the Samaritans, not only from Jesus but others.
Christianity is an inclusive religion. In fact, if one studies Christian demographics you would soon see that the fastest growing Christian populations are in Africa and Asia: within a few years white Christians will be a minority in Christendom. If Christianity were as exclusive as you pretend to believe it is, then such a thing would be impossible. However, Christianity, as much as Pastor Wright and others would like to believe it isn’t, is in fact a religion that welcomes people of all colors to join in in the Communion of Saints, for we are all God’s children.
He is actually comparing the armed U.S. military forces in Iraq to an oppressed ethnic minority.
That’s it.
My head just exploded!
I’ll be up all night cleaning the gore off my keyboard.
If Jesus were alive today, he’d be fuckin’ VOLTRON. Because there’s nothing more bad-assed than being made of mechanical LIONS.
“And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold, the mechanical Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof.”
No, SomeNYGuy, please pull your exploded head out of your ass. I am comparing U.S. military forces in Iraq to a small body of Romans who are occupying a foreign territory such as Judaea. Occupation forces are not the same as an ethnic majority.
Limpy does seem to have crawled up his own asshole and died. He seems to like the echo in there too.
The definition of minority: a group of people who differ racially or politically from a larger group of which it is a part
From this definition, it is plain to see that the Jews in Judaea were not a minority population. This was their homeland, not someone else’s. Yes they were occupied by a foreign power, but that does not mean that they were somehow a persecuted minority in their own land. Next thing you will be saying that Al-Sadr is a persecuted minority in Iraq.
No, I do not think that American troops form a majority of the Iraqi population.
Now you had another question that you neglected to answer:
Was Jesus a bigot or was he without sin?
shoelimpy™ said,
April 3, 2008 at 2:23
You are absolutely right. Ideas of a certain race can be universal. That is why I support White Ideas, White Values, White Pride.
I’ve all just been assuming you were a racist prick; nice of you to admit it.
Pedestrian, Jesus was without sin. His overcoming the bigotry of the Jews was an essential part of his growth as a human being without sin to lead the way for all Jews to similarly drop their feelings of racial and religious superiority, so that all men may be welcomed into the loving arms of God. Unfortunately this teaching of Jesus’s was not widely picked up outside of Christian circles.
Why am I a racist prick, but Pastor Wright isn’t, Karate? Can you even see the double standard being espoused here? Black values, black pride is acceptable, white values, white pride aren’t. This was the point I was demonstrating and you showed it beautifully. Thank you , Karate, for your assistance in teaching this lesson, I could not have done it better myself.
Actually, I withdraw my question. I really have no interest in the answer. You have a lot of reading to do before you are qualified to discuss Roman history or early Christianity. This is like discussing photosythesis with a three year old.
If I have to explain that one to you, we’ll be here all night.
Hey shoelimpy: Jesus was (if the dirty fucking hippie actually existed) a darky. Get used to it. Had he “lived” long enough, he might have wound up looking like Yasser Arafat. Let your Aryan Nations local chapter know as well.
So that was Al Gore’s problem? He had dark, sub-Saharan tones instead of earth tones? WTF?
Oh, and shoelimpy? STFU.
Are you implying that blacks are superior to whites, Karate, and thus their ideas and values can be made into universal values for all mankind, but the ideas and values of inferior whites cannot?
Nope. But you already knew that, dumbass.
So now you need to use racial slurs to discuss Jesus? The whole point of Jesus overcoming his bigotry towards Gentiles was to show that we are all God’s children and we are all equal in the eyes of the Lord. Bringing up racial slurs in vain attempts to disparage them completely misses that very important message within the ministry of Jesus.
No I didn’t know that, Karate. You seem to believe that some racial groups’ ideas and values can be made into universal values, while other groups’ ideas and values cannot. Obviously there must be some reason for this distinction, obviously you believe the ideas and values of some racial groups are better than those of other racial groups. It is inherent in your statement, there is no other way to look at it. You believe that some racial groups are better than other racial groups. You are a racist. I am not, which is why I made my earlier statement about “White values,” etc., to show how ludicrous adopting such ideas are.
Won’t someone please come look at my blog?
The whole point of Jesus overcoming his bigotry towards Gentiles was to show that we are all God’s children
If “Jesus” was a bigot to begin with, and had to “overcome” it, then he wasn’t “perfect”.
Can you just take your god-bothering preening self elsewhere? Don’t you have a White Pride meeting to attend?
Won’t someone please come look at my blog?
He blogs with that Courtney Love-style nutcase Annieangel. Anyone need to know anything else?
Shoelimpy: Clouds are actually made of cotton candy.
Sane Person: No they aren’t, that’s ridiculous
Shoelimpy: Aha! But isn’t that the same as your stupid idea that they were water vapor?
Sane Person. No, it isn’t.
Shoelimpy: Victory!
Jesus was perfect. Jesus was God. But he was also flesh. His bigotry reflected what was seen as perfection at the time for Jews, who looked down upon those who were not of the Chosen Race of God. Jesus’ own transformation represents is designed for the edification of his followers: that all of humanity is the Chosen Race of God, we are all God’s children. It was no fault of Jesus’, but rather a method for teaching his disciples a very valuable lesson.
Look, I promise not to use high-school-debater-style sophistry if you just come comment on my blog. I’m so very lonely.
And Batman saved gotham.
Fuck you, boy…
mikey
If Jesus were alive today, he’d be fuckin’ VOLTRON.
THAT’S A LIE!!! Jesus had complete organ failure, it died for our sins (our loss of essence) and thusly, he would not be capable of having sexual relations with ANYBODY, not even this “Voltron” of which you speak!
Everybody knows that Jesus never had any girlfriends, he probably lived in his parent’s basement his entire life (but I will agree that he probably had an M1 Battle Rifle™) and likely fought the scourge of Islamosexuals, just like I constantly do. Oh, and by the way, he was a white person like me (are you LIE-bruls so ignorant that you’ve never seen a picture of him???).
The definition of minority: a group of people who differ racially or politically from a larger group of which it is a part
From this definition, it is plain to see that the Jews in Judaea were not a minority population. This was their homeland, not someone else’s.
So by this definition, Native Americans are not minorities? Are they also not oppressed, then? Or is it possible that the operative connotation of “oppressed minority” is in the “oppressed” part?
Can you even see the double standard being espoused here? Black values, black pride is acceptable, white values, white pride aren’t. This was the point I was demonstrating and you showed it beautifully.
Can you even see the double standard here? “Values” and “pride” already are “white values” and “white pride” by default: when someone in the US talks about “values” and “pride”, they are–unless otherwise specified–talking about values and pride as defined by the dominant culture, i.e., whites.
“Black values” and “black pride” are an attempt to expand the definition of “values” and “pride” to include something other than white values and white pride. By demanding “white values” and “white pride” be “accepted” alongside “black values” and “black pride”, you’re ignoring the fact that they always have been accepted as the only definition of values and pride. You think you’re demanding “equal time”, but you’re actually demanding all the time. (It’s the equivalent of a child with a roomful of toys demanding that a visiting child hand over the few toys he brought with him.)
White people who want “white values” and “white pride” accepted as such must first be willing to relinquish their control over “values” and “pride” in general. The only way I know to do that is to acknowledge that “non-white values” and “non-white pride” might actually exist, might be different, and might be worthwhile.
I’ll be over here holding my breath.
(Yes, I know it’s troll feeding, but this particular issue is a pet peeve of mine.)
“If Jesus were alive today, he’d be fuckin’ VOLTRON.”
The fact is, we in The Heartland know that it’s common sense that Jesus would never be a cartoon robot that was created by brownish foreigners, as they are unPatriotic and do not hear the Trumpet’s call.
The Fact is, that Jesus would be the Mighty Orbots.
I do not want white values and white pride to be accepted. I believe in neither white values nor white pride. I believe that any person who believes in equality should not advance any sort of racial or ethnic “values” or “pride.” Not that we should not be proud of who we are, but the reality is that we are all humans, we are all brothers, and that is what we should be most proud of. By breaking us down into categories, humanity is divided. This is not the lesson that Jesus taught. Jesus taught us to love one another, not to break ourselves into arbitrary groups based on differences which have no real bearinng and then treat all other groups as if they are not the same as us. Anyone can do that, mankind has been doing it for centuries. It is much more difficult to be loving and tolerant and accepting of all, despite differences, and to be able to identify yourselves with all, despite differences. What gain does one make by loving one’s neighbor, do not even the pagans do that? It is a real test of love to love your enemy.
As for your questions on the Native Americans: Native Americans are a minority, because there are far fewer Native Americans than there are White Americans. However, in ancient Judaea, there were far more Jews than there were Romans. They were persecuted, yes, but they were not a minority, just as the Iraqi people are not a minority in Iraq. There is a very significant difference in being a minority in one’s nation and suffering the occupation of a foreign nation.
Hasn Mevid considered that the windows were just dirty? i’m sure that Wright and Obamo both worship the white jebus like all right thinking people (except the jews and a-rabs)
Jesus would have been skinnier than Yasser Arafat.
“However, in ancient Judaea, there were far more Jews than there were Romans. They were persecuted, yes, but they were not a minority, just as the Iraqi people are not a minority in Iraq. There is a very significant difference in being a minority in one’s nation and suffering the occupation of a foreign nation.”
Ever here of apartheid, or the heroic support of the same by the GOP?
I’m just kidding; I don’t believe any of that.
Oh, without even reading the posts, I see the spring flying termites have hatched out.
You have no understanding of the history of the time. For the most part, the Jews were autonomous. They had their own king, were allowed to follow their own religion, were essentially allowed to run their own affairs. However yes, they were ultimately under the rule of Rome. It was not until decades after Jesus’ death that the Romans began really persecuting the Jews, which ultimately led to the First Jewish Revolt. While no country likes to be under a foreign leader’s thumb, even while given a fair amount of autonomy, it is still a far cry from the sort of persecution South Africans experienced under Apartheid.
However, none of this changes the fact that I play with my own poop.
Every good Pole knows the Madonna is black–so naturally teh baby Jesus would be too.
http://www.jasnagora.pl/
Do not want.
You shouldn’t try to argue with Shu-esLimp, he’s managed to taint many a blog thread. Don’t let him take the fun out of S,N!
Tho I wouldn’t mind observing he and Shooter & Gary go at it.
Do you remember back in old LA?
When everybody drove a Chevrolet?
Whatever happened to the boy next door?
The suntanned crew cut all American male?
Remember dancing at the high school hop?
The dress I ruined with the soda pop?
I didn’t recognize the girl next door
With the beat up sneakers and the ponytail.
Shoelimpy, Shoelimpy, give me your hand
Give me something that I can remember
Just like before we can walk by the shore in the moonlight.
Shoelimpy, Shoelimpy there on the sand
From July to the end of September.
Surfing was fun we’d be out in the sun everyday.
Oooh, I never thought it could end
Oooh, and I was everybody’s friend
Long hot days, Blue sea haze,
Jukebox plays
But now it’s fading away.
We couldn’t wait for graduation day.
We took a car and drove to San Jose.
thats where you told me that you’d wear my ring.
I guess you don’t remember anything.
Shoelimpy, Shoelimpy, give me your hand
Give me something that I can remember
Just like before we can walk by the shore in the moonlight.
Shoelimpy, Shoelimpy there on the sand
From July to the end of September.
Surfing was fun we’d be out in the sun everyday.
I see the Stoopidest Boomerang has responded to my comment.
Need I point out that I was not beligerant nor even belligerent? I suppose including links to the actual data qualifies in the reality challenged universe.
Ah, not all that I hoped for, not at all.
Shoelimpy, Shoelimpy, give me your hand
Give me something that I can remember
Just like before we can walk by the shore in the moonlight.
Shoelimpy, Shoelimpy there on the sand
From July to the end of September.
Surfing was fun we’d be out in the sun everyday.
Shoelimpy, Shoelimpy give me your hand, give me something that I can remember. Just like before we can walk by the shore in the moonlight.
Shoelimpy, Shoelimpy there on the sand from July to the end of September. Surfin was fun we’d be out in the sun everyday.
I am a repressed minority in this thread.
Man, WordPress just hates my guts tonight. I give up.
Okay, I made a huge mistake and clicked on over to Shoelimpy’s blog (yes, I’m responsible for his hitcounter reaching 0002, sue me), and I would just like to confirm for everyone who may have still had a shred of doubt…he’s a nutter.
Who the fuck but a lame nutter would go by “shoelimpy?”
“Hi everybody, I’m Limpdicky McTroughmouth”
You may remember me from such blogs as:
How Jesus overcame his Judean Oppressors by getting myself martyred just spite the shit out of them”
And who could forget
“Romans and Hebes: Just who oppressed WHOM? HUH? That’s what I want to know!”
By the way, Jesus was dark skinned. Swarthy even. And a mean cocksucker, lemmee tell ya.
Jesus called everyone “Brother” and he couldn’t get a fair trial… of course he was Black.
I can’t remember whose joke that was. Probably RB’s.
I miss Bruce.
Did I ever tell you about that camping trip we did together, out to the desert? Hoo boy howdy!
And…one time at deity camp? Well, let me just say his chrono-synclastic infundibulum was never the same again.
The real Jesus looked like this. Crucifying him took a lot of work.
This is not true. Actually, Jesus was without underwear.
Okay, this has been a sucky day. I woke up with Heart’s Crazy on You going through my head, thanks to the Partner’s internet 70s radio. After seeing the John Yoo post, it changed to:
Cra-a-azy John Woo
Cra-a-azy John Woo
Fuckin’ crazy, crazy John Woo
Woo-oo, woo-oo!
Right about then, the migraine started. I missed an important meeting concerning upcoming mock trial, and Torts class, sleeping in a dark room with a near-lethal dose of ibuprofen in my system and an ice pack on my head.
I had a nightmare where I was reading Sadly No in bed, only the screen was a 20 ft high monolithic slab of black granite crawling with glowing LED text, and as I leaned back in bed to read it, the cat and I started to slide backward down a cliff, and the wall fell toward us.
I woke up. I emailed my Torts team, and then checked in to S,N. And there, goddammit, is fucking Shoelimpy tee fuckin’ em, blathering away. I thought I’d slid back in time. It was a creepy feeling, I tells ya. Jezus Pleezus.
I don’t know why the name changed to Woo from Yoo in the song, btw. I blame the migraine.
Why can’t I kill-file the Flaccid Boot? Is it just the tm?
gbear – Thanks for your theory that Michael Medved’s funnier brother Harry was the real author of the Golden Turkey Awards and Fifty Worst... It explains a lot. I’ve always wondered how MM could have gone from writing something genuinely amusing to writing sewage.
Bitter Scribe wrote:
I don’t recall any especially noticeable ‘fag- and furriner-bashing’ and sophomoric humor is the very essence of my being. I liked the books fine.
Why can’t I kill-file the Flaccid Boot?
You can make him eat pie.
Travis G, the only shorter Michael Medved I want to see is the one who’s been shortened by a head. I admit your version is funny — at least, I’d be laughing if Medved didn’t make my head want to explode.
Ummm, you’re saying that HERE? I’m gay and never felt offended by anything that was written in those books or ever felt that the books had a mean streak. They were poking fun of everybody and everything but never got nasty or spiteful ever.
Maybe not in those two books, but they take a LOT of cheap shots at Rock Hudson in their 1984 book The Hollywood Hall of Shame.
Ahhh. Never seen the 84 book. ‘Turkeys’ was written in 80. You can loose a lot of charm in 4 years.
You can loose a lot of charm in 4 years.
I’m gonna go out right now and spray paint this on my garage door.
I dunno. I’ll just feel better if I have an explanation…
mikey
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…lose a lot of charm… crap.
Powers That Be:
Does wordpress filter out poems/lyrics now? I had adapted some lyrics for our buddy Shoe but couldn’t get them past WordPress for the life of me. I was mad.
Bubba:
Except I don’t want to read about its enjoyment of pie, or its enjoyment of anything. I simply want it to stop speaking, or at least no longer be in my sight.
I feel like it’s painted on the inside of my eyelids, Mikey. This monday is the 4th anniverary of starting my government job. I feel thoroughly charm-depleted after 4 years.
Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot said,
I get those after the 12th iteration or so.
You can loose [sic] a lot of charm in 4 years.
Sad part is, the jokes are really weak (mostly along the lines of “He wanted to get into Julie Andrews’ dress, ’cause you know ALL GAYS ARE DRAG QUEENS HURR”, if I remember right) and distract from what is often an interesting book, given the fucked-up production histories of some of the films they cover.
And considering that Hudson would be dead about a year later, it seems even nastier in retrospect– by comparison, you know Medved would be *just livid* if people started making droolcup jokes about Charleton Heston…
My first [sic]. I feel so special.
Testing 1 2 3!
…droolcup jokes…droolcup jokes…droolcup jokes…
Sorry, all I can do is channel Zippy the Pinhead. Time for bed.
[hic]
Shorter Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot:
Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing.
There was another theological thread on S,N! a few months ago, where we all proved ourselves to be as subtle and as learned as Thomas Aquinas; and I recall that I was ranting about the gene for Original Sin being X-linked and dominant. Furthermore, the Sinlessness allelle was rare and recessive according to my theory, but the Virgin Mary had two copies, so all of her sons would also be free from Original Sin. Someone else corrected me on the theological details.
Anyway, I picked up the latest Skeptical Inquirer the other day, and bugger me rigid if Frank Tipler had not come up with the same rationale.
It’s not wordpress, gbear. WordPress is stable and reliable.
But when you decide it would be funny (or cost effective, not sure which applies here) to install it on an old Mousetrap™ game instead of a righteous computer, you end up, with, well, what we had here today.
Some men you just can’t reach…
mikey
I’d say it’s more like discussing photosythesis with a plant.
A very noisy, foul-smelling plant.
bugger me rigid
Hmm. I dunno. Seems to me that one might want to use this phrase exceedingly advisedly.
Just a thought…
mikey
D’oh. It hadn’t fully dawned on me that these wingnuts are more than willing to assume that the Rev. Wright and his congregation don’t consider themselves as Americans. I’ve been missing a major chord of the dogwhistle.
Learning wingnut hurts my brain.
Didn’t Medved theoretically earn his bones as a movie critic?
Shouldn’t this all be old hat to him by now?
This is all because Spike Lee doesn’t give a shit what Michael Medved says, isn’t it?
If God was opaque he could settle all this shit pretty quickly, but I guess since he’s everywhere that’d be gross because we’d see his ass in our soup.
If god was here he’d tell it to your face.
Man, you’re some kind of sinner…
mikey
Seven freakin hours ago on this thread, I tried to post the following lyrics but the tweeky Hamsters ate it. So I’m with gbear on WTF?
Well black kids follow me
Genesis chapter eleven verse ten
Explains the geneology of Chem
Chem was a black man, in Africa
If you repeat this fact they can’t laugh at ya
Genesis fourteen verse thirteen
Abraham steps on the scene
Being a descendent of Chem which is a fact
Means, Abraham too was black
Abraham born in the city of a black man
Called Nimrod grandson of Kam
Kam had four sons, one was named Canaan
Here, let me do some explaining
Abraham was the father of Isaac
Isaac was the father of Jacob
Jacob had twelve sons, for real
And these, were the children of Isreal
I love that God is spoiling for a fight all the time. He’s like celestial Popeye.
Well black kids follow me
I still own that. Good record.
You know what really sucks?
You can’t get free drugs at drugfree.org.
Isn’t that false advertising or something?
Shit….
mikey
The Flaming Lips had a great tour shirt back in the day: Drugs Helps in glow-in-the-dark lettering.
Clustered Panda with Strained Brick Cheeses
Ingredients:
3 sticks panda, charred
1 Brick Cheese
7 bags horrible egg
4 pounds ethical muskdeer hoof, unsuccessfully dried
1 bunch butter
4 sticks brown sugar
Beautifully grease a cookie sheet. Separate panda toe from heart. Inflate heart. Stir the Brick Cheese with the egg over medium heat in a bowl. Pour resulting potion over the panda. Broil the muskdeer hoof, butter, and the brown sugar imperiously. Spread the latter combination on to the former. Abandon for 70 hours. Serves 9.
Well let’s see if I can get mine thru here too now. Obviously not as serious:
Do you remember back in old L.A. (Oh, oh, oh)
When everybody drove a Chevrolet (Oh, oh, oh)
Whatever happened to the boy next door
The sun-tanned, crew-cut, All-American male?
Remember dancing at the high school hop?
The dress I ruined with the soda pop?
I didn’t recognize the girl next door
With beat up sneakers and a pony tail
Shoelimpy, Shoelimpy, give me your hand
Give me something that I can remember
Just like before we can walk by the shore in the moonlight
Shoelimpy, Shoelimpy, there on the sand
From July to the end of September
Surfin’ was fun we’d be out in the sun every day
Ooooh, I never thought that it could end
Ooooh, and I was everybody’s friend
Long hot days
Blue sea haze
Jukebox plays
But now it’s fading away
We couldn’t wait for graduation day (Oh, oh, oh)
We took the car and drove to San Jose (Oh, oh, oh)
That’s where you told me that you’d wear my ring
I guess you don’t remember anything
Shoelimpy, Shoelimpy, give me your hand
Give me something that I can remember
Just like before we can walk by the shore in the moonlight
Shoelimpy, Shoelimpy, there on the sand
From July til the end of September
Surfin’ was fun we’d be out in the sun every day
It would have been more fun posting that while he was trying to school us. Time for bed.
Ahh, wouldn’t y’know it!
I only have successfully dried ethical muskdeer hoof.
That may well sum up my life’s story….
mikey
One afternoon around eleven o’clock
It was freezin cold, he was standing on the block
Sellin cheeba, nick’s and dimes
Sayin a rhyme just to pass the time
The cops passed by, but he stayed calm
Cause the leather trench coat was keepin him warm
…more BDP 1988…
Just a couple clicks away…….http://nobeliefs.com/washingtonnews/JesusGirl.htm
from the Nazi artifacts. If you really want to have some fun with the wingnuts , send ’em that . Lmfao!
“This anti-Israel diatribe was written by Hamas official Mousa Abu Marzook,….”
Ie, a ~ “It’d be nice if the Israelis (& by extension the US) stop gratuitously killing us, and start negotiating with us, the elected government ” non-“diatribe” . It was one of the most reasonable statements I’ve seen from anybody on that subject. Of course , that’s if you treasonously read the actual essay. You can only see the true, anti-Iraeli/American meaning if you are responsible and serious , and don’t read it.
Btw I see they’re fronting for Israeli drug-runners at TH (iraelimedsonline.com) The ‘nutters take a dim view when some irresponsible paupers bring ’em back from pinko-subversive Canada , and bypass the great patriotic American drug companies. Israel ? Np.
Chop the capsicum nicely and fry it with 1 tbsp ghee on a wok. cool it and grind it nicely without adding water.Grind the tomatoes nicely. Extract thick juice from the grapes.
bugger me rigid
Hmm. I dunno. Seems to me that one might want to use this phrase exceedingly advisedly.
It used to be my favourite exclamation, until friends started wondering who this ‘Richard’ was.
I am a faggot and I suck cock.
Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne ducks polar bear meeting.
A shame, I think more Bush administration officials should be meeting with polar bears.
The fact is, most people in America ARE normal. White. Christian. Straight. Male. Patriotic and support the president and troops, especially here in the Heartland. You self- and USA-hating leftists are an aberration, and so is Barack HUSSEIN Osama. He will never be elected, not on our watch.
Rhode Island is in the Heartland?
P.S. Fake Gary, most people in the U.S. are women. Try Census 2000.
shoelimpy™ said,
I am a faggot and I suck cock.
I don’t know about that, but it is known that shoelimpy is, in fact, Allen Butler, a fat, bearded, balding Texan, who poses as a female “Christian” excercise instructor named “Annie Angel”, and a European supermodel known as “mimi” over at Atrios’s place. A wacko, to say the least.
And BTW, Allen, if you were really a Christian, you would know that arguing that Christ was bigoted — in other words, sinful — is heresy. There is no reference in the New Testament to Jesus praying for the forgiveness of any sin he has committed, nor confessing sin. The assertion is that Jesus did not commit sin, nor could he be proven guilty of sin; he had no vices. In fact, he is quoted as asking, “Can any of you prove me guilty of sin?” in John 8:46. Secondly, basic orthodox Christian theology asserts that Jesus was free from inherent sin (or “original sin”).
And now, back to more humorous (and valuable) commentary by the clever people on the board…
OMG–I just told this annoying “Gary” over at LGFWatch to send his Medved article to this site for analysis and mockery and perhaps a better photoshop, and it’s like a miracle! There he is! Aww, “Tex Taylor” will be so happy. I’m going to have to link this one in the comments on that thread, if no one minds.
Gosh. It looks like overnight a bunch of the dumb lyric posts that got eaten by wordpress (or whatever) last night popped up. I feel stupid now.
Gary, get out of my heartland, bitch.
The fact is shoelimpy™ is Gary Ruppert and Gary Ruppert is an aging, balding, alcoholic sheep farmer in East Texas.
You would think that an alcoholic could at least buy me a drink first.
The pissant shoelimpy is banned for life from Jesus General. I think he is unique in that. The miserable prick is annoying even by troll standards.
We kicked him out, to Arizona. Since they are driving out all their illegal immigrants, we want them to suffer.
Good God, What’sYourName. Change your socks, already. The stink is killing us.
Gary Limpy’s SheepGary Shoe’s Limping Sheep.
I thought it was banned here as well, after a lot of “so-and-so is a motherfucker” naming and name-stealing. Or was that just a beautiful dream I had?
I can hardly bear to listen to Air America anymore. Just Sam Seder, Rachel Maddow and sometimes Tom Hartmann (but God, can he sound like the most boring professor on campus sometimes).
But is Lionel getting his talking points directly from Hillary-lover and AA owner Mark Green?
He must bring up Pastor Wright about 300 times in his 3 hour gig. Saying how this is still going to be a problem and Hillary has a strong case that she is most electable.
News flash – Hillary has had huge leads going into the primaries. She has never expanded a lead, only had them diminish, each and every time. And yes, Lionel, that is even after the Pastor Wright dust-up.
ummm… the flannery o’connor short story you are referencing isn’t in the book you linked to.
the title of the story is “the artificial n—“.
I’m gay and never felt offended by anything that was written in those books…
Really? So you’re OK with passages like this, from “The Hollywood Hall of Shame”:
[R]umors made the rounds describing merciless teasing by [Julie] Andrews and [Blake] Edwards concerning [Rock] Hudson’s somewhat ambiguous masculinity. Gossip columnist Joyce Haber reported that Miss Andrews repeatedly told her co-star, “Remember, I’m the leading lady,” and that Hudson, according to Haber, eventually became so frustrated by this treatment that he took a weekend break from the European location and flew to California for a visit to one of his favorite leather bars in San Francisco.
All I can tell you is, when Medved embarked on his second career as a right-wing shill, I was less than stunned.
That is an interesting excerpt, but I don’t see how it is homophobic, besides the conflation of “masculinity” with “homosexuality”. Julie Andrews deserves to be in the “Hollywood Hall of Shame” for that.
Oh wait, you mean he was trying to make fun of Rock Hudson there?
Scribe, I’ve only read and only commented on the two books that the Medveds wrote before 1980. He may have gone off the rails by the time he wrote ‘HHofS’, but the only thing that I’ve read of that book is the line you quoted above, which only seems to relate a story that Julie Andrews teased Rock Hudson for being closeted, but Hudson wouldn’t tease her back. I guess I’m not feeling outraged.
I can’t remember those Medved books being crazy, although I am a straight Jew of Liberal Fascism.
Is it just me, or in that picture of him, does it look like maybe Medved is… passing?
Hey kid, pull my finger!
Oh, that’s not what you meant…
Miss Andrews repeatedly told her co-star, “Remember, I’m the leading lady,”
To which Mr Hudson should have replied “as long as you remember that I’m the pretty one”
Occupation forces are not the same as an ethnic majority.
Thanks, shoelimpy, for finally admitting our presence in Iraq is an occupation.
You know what really sucks?
You can’t get free drugs at drugfree.org.
Isn’t that false advertising or something?
You know what else? They ain’t got no babies at Babies “R” Us.
The stained glass windows at the church identify Jesus with the dark skin tone of sub-Saharan Africa
And a dick like a donkey. It was His Saving Grace.
gbear: turns out one of the branches (unfortunately, not in the town I live in) of our county library has Hollywood Hall of Shame, so I’ve requested it and (assuming we haven’t totally moved on to other, easier targets) can check just what sort of jokes were made. It’s been long enough since I’ve read it that I could be mistaken, but I seem to remember there were more Hudson potshots than just the Andrews anecdote.
For shoelimpy
(and anyone who likes comedy, so maybe shoelimpy may not get it)
The fact is, most people in America ARE normal. White. Christian. Straight. Male.
I shouldn’t feed the trolls, but … most people in America, in the classic sense of the English word “most” = more than 50%, are FEMALE.
Can’t you righties get anything, er, right?
I can only conclude that Obama must be a closet racist,who also see’s the USA in a negative light.
There is no doubt that Wright is a racist and hates this country, his words are quite clear.
Obama should have left that church 19 years ago. He didn’t that tells me alot about his true feelings.
I wonder if the Obama supporters on this forum would feel the same way about a white republican who was a member of Aryan nation?
Something tells me they would not be so forgiving.