Why Wingnuttz Kant Spel

republician.jpg

Later appointed to the Florida Insurance
Board


…’Cuz it’s a trap for folks who want to plagiarize them, according to champion misorthographer Jay Tea over at CheezWhizBang:

I have a few pet peeves. One of them is plagiarism. I have absolutely no patience or tolerance for those who take others’ work as their own. I’ve busted a few people who rip off my stuff here at Wizbang — it’s remarkable how well a “Google trap” can work. I just make sure to make up certain phrases or words or deliberately misspell a couple of words every now and then, then do a Google and a Technorati search on them after a couple of days. It works remarkably well.

Uh huh. Sure. Whatever you say. And isn’t stealing stuff from CheezWhizBang its own punishment?

[h/t Helen]


[Oops! Post author corrected. Sorry, Gavin!]

Gavin adds: Know probelm!

Clif adds: It seems that Jay Tea has had a visit from the Sadly, No! Helpful Tips Department:

jaytea.png

Seems that Jay Tea more or less missed the point that misspelling words was, well, pointless. Oh well. Trying to help these people is like trying to snort Cheeto dust through a cocktail straw — even if there were a reason to do it, it won’t work. And, of course, the sole example of plagiarism that Jay Tea proffers is a broken link. And I really do have pictures of me having sex with Brad Pitt and I would so totally show them to you except that they are incredibly valuable and my insurance company doesn’t allow me to take them out of the safe deposit box in that Swiss bank vault to show anybody in case they might get stolen or something.

 

Comments: 49

 
 
 

uh-huh, yeah, right. And he only looks at kiddie porn to see how effective the monitoring process is.

 
 

In other words, the only people dumb enough to think his stuff is worth stealing are those too dumb to spell.

Sounds about right.

 
 

Suuure, he misspells words just to trap plagiarists . Yeppers.

“I MISPEL THS POST DO NOT STEEL IT YOU B*STRDS”

Oooh, and I see he’s all potty-mouthed in that post, too. Symptom of someone who’s angry and hateful and probably should be monitored by the authorities, donchyaknow.

 
 

Sometimes I flash an ankle on the internet, then google my name to see if anyone noticed.

 
 

I only have one pet peeve.

Other people.

Check out how morally superior I am to Jay Tea!!!

 
 

I is best at bloggins (COPYWRIGHT 2008-INFINITY DO NOT STEEL)

 
 

Wait. . . in order to avoid having your work plagiarized, it’s best to appear to be an illiterate moron who hasn’t figured out a spell-checker?

 
 

Sometimes I flash an ankle on the internet, then google my name to see if anyone noticed.

I’m not sure every hour on the hour counts as “sometimes”.

 
 

What is it with those talk radio people, anyway?

 
North Chowderville
 

!selohssa ,siht gnilaets yrT

 
 

A Good way to stop all that plaguerism is to write sumthing that is really stupid. That way if you find sumthing else on the Innernet that is really stupid you can know that they stoled the stupid from you.

 
 

I am not reely stoopit I just partend to be stoopit so i can trik pepul. I am ackchuley reely smrt an you can tel becuz Gorge Bsuh is my heroe.

 
 

Honestly, I wish he’d provide links to people who plagiarized him. They have to be some truly outstanding examples of the human species.

 
 

He also regularly craps in his pants so no one steals them and pisses into the CD drive of his computer to keep the thieves at bay.

Take that criminals!

 
 

Arky just made me pee my pants!

 
 

Good move g! Now nobody can steals them from you.

 
 

OT, but CNN seems to be in a poor whitey mood lately.

How many years must some people exist
Before they’re allowed to be freeeeeeeeee

 
 

You’re welcome g. Don’t forget to blow your nose on your sleeves and coat the seats of your car in a thick layer of mayonnaise.

 
 

Hey, you stupid fuck, if I was gonna steal text from anybody, I’d run a spell-check before posting it anywhere.

Moron.

 
 

Leave your lights on all night, too. That’ll show ’em!

 
 

This kinda’ reminds me of Steve Martin saying when someone tries to rob you you should throw up on your money.

 
 

Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

April 2, 2008 at 15:16

He also regularly craps in his pants so no one steals them and pisses into the CD drive of his computer to keep the thieves at bay.

Take that criminals!

Why not? Dogs piss on things to mark their territory.

 
 

Oh no, the “fairly popular Gulf Coast talk radio show” is feeling the wrath of the stateside-deferred warrior!

 
 

“I did that intentionally because I’m smart.” Good one. I’ll have to try that one next time I fuck something up. He doesn’t mention the hidden bonus to lacing your writing with misspellings and made-up words: no one but an extreme retard would even want to plagiarize you. I mean, why steal trash? Hell, if you’re lucky no one will read you at all, cutting the risk of plagiarism almost to zero.

 
 

He’s guaranteeing that he won’t find the smart plagiarizers. Yay!

 
 

Why not? Dogs piss on things to mark their territory.

And like a dog returning to its own vomit, fRightWingerz return to their own folly.

Wow. That’s like, totally Zen.

 
 

Hell, if you’re lucky no one will read you at all, cutting the risk of plagiarism almost to zero.

Wingnuts who are really security-conscious put all their posts on their internal mental Internet, which can only be accessed by their own multiple personalities.

 
 

so, is that kinda like spitting in your own drink so no one will take it? that’s all well and good…..until ya have a head cold. you can NEVER suck that shit up a straw.
i. hate. that.

 
 

People are stealing his carefully crafted and cleverly misspelled prose?

ALERT THE INTERNETS!

 
 

Wingnuts who are really security-conscious put all their posts on their internal mental Internet

OK, that’s a little excessive. For the extremely small number of wingnuts for whom the “write like shit” plagiarism-discouraging strategy is inadequate, there’s always indecipherable code.

 
 

mispelled wurds get caght in the internet tubz.

 
 

Clearly, then, before there was “cut ‘n paste”, plagiarism was not ever a problem…

mikey

 
 

Mobius Strip of Stupidity (a scene):

Wingy #1: A-HA! You fell into the Google Trap! Bwahahahahaha. I purposely misspelled every fifth word to catch you!

Wingy #2: Nuh-huh, I meant to do that, to prove that you’d find it!

Wingy #1: I know! I figured you’d do that, which is why I found the passage so fast!

Wingy #2: Naturally…That’s why…

 
 

Clearly, then, before there was “cut ‘n paste”, plagiarism was not ever a problem…

There has always been cut & paste. Before computers, lazy students and journalists would literally cut out blocks of text from a book or article and glue them onto blank sheets of paper, then submit them. There was no Google back then, but it wasn’t exactly hard to catch. I happen to know that Mr. Tea would stamp, “Mah Intuhlektual Prawpertez” all over his writing in bright red ink. That way he knew it was his, because only he spelled it that way.

 
 

test

my comments don’t post

figured this was a good place for spam

 
 

He was very polite. Politeness counts for something, doesn’t it?

 
 

And isn’t stealing stuff from […] its own punishment?

God knows that’s always been my philosophy, which is why I offer a Plagiarize All You Like policy with everything I write. Jesus, kids, if you want it, take it. At least that way I don’t look like an idiot alone.

 
 

If we realised how cruelty is involved in capturing and domesticating peeves, we would be content to leave them roaming across the savannah, wild and free, with a David Attenborough voice-over.
Hobby-horses are OK. They’re bred for it.

 
 

roaming across the savannah

Actually it’s more of a skitter.

 
 

I don’t use Spell-Check – I have a dictionary already, thanks.

Before Spell-Check, there was this wild concept called “Re-reading What You Write & Correcting Mistakes” … from what I’ve seen, Spell-Check is about on a par with television, in terms of advancing us towards total illiteracy.

But, as every good wingnut knows, grammar is the gateway-drug of crypto-feminist-socialism, lucidity is a Satanic conspiracy ( lucidity — Lucifer … coincidence? NOT! ), & orthography is for pussies.

What, are you going to let that stupid OED push you around?
Spelling like a Special-Ed-dropout is MANLY!

 
 

To be fair, there’s a couple bloggers out there who have taught me that spelling and rereading-for-improper-sentence-structure are not strictly necessary for hilarious, elegantly snark-filled prose that leaves me green with envy, rocking gently back and forth, wishing like hell I’d written that.

Mr Tea is not one of them, however.

 
 

Wait a minute, Clif!

I have photos of me having sex with Brad Pitt, so you musta stolen them from me! Give them back!!!

Also, I have dyslexia, so it took me a coon’s age to find the typo in that billboard. That must mean something, but I don’t know what.

 
 

Left a comment

“Substitute “Religion” for “radical Islam “, and you have a George Carlin bit, more-or-less . You have a little crediting to do yourself .
Cheers!

– cb “

The credit bureau

 
Duros Hussein 62
 

This morning, I listen–ed to them online.

O I c wat u did thar.

 
Quaker in a Basement
 

How do you pronounce that? Is it REE pub LICK ian?

 
Duros Hussein 62
 

I think it’s Republi-shian.

 
Totally not Jay Tea
 

The Germans, who seam to hav a word for most everey sithuation, describe one of the darkur asspects of humen natere: “schadenfreude,” the thrill we get wen we sea somewon elses missfortshun. It’s why we laff when we somewon slip on the eyec, or why “Amurka’s Funnyist Home Videos” is still on the eyr and showwing a endless clip of men getting hit in the groin.

 
 

So is that billboard real?

 
 

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