‘Join Forces?’ But What If It’s A Trick? (Shorter Joseph Pecar)
Posted on April 2nd, 2008 by Gavin M.
- Say, here’s one: You know those false charges of dishonesty and incompetence that liberals keep making against George W. Bush? What if, uh, Michelle Malkin, and another thing, and okay wait, long story short: What if the Rev. Wright controversy is a unique opportunity for conservatives and liberals to join forces. . .against the dishonesty and incompetence of Mr. Barack O’Shifty McScary Lynton Kwesi Baba-Olatunji-Bama? Heh heh. On the other hand, credit where credit is due: In a being-a-black-guy contest, Obama is clearly the superior candidate. (Nyuck-nyuck.)
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Rarely do conservatives and liberals agree on major issues. In this case, however, even liberals apparently agree that a President of the United States who lies is untenable — just look at the thousands of times they have derisively decried, (or in the case of Al Gore — who in Jeremiah Wright/Howard Dean style — madly screamed) “George Bush is a liar.”
But have conservatives screamed George Bush is a liar? No?
Wow, someone get this guy some Binaca.
At some point during the creation of that pile of words, Mr. Pecar should have turned the computer off and gone out in search of a nice lively bingo game.
The picture says “you damn kids get off my lawn!” but the text says “you can’t believe anything a crafty negro says.”
1. And once again your summary is 500% more coherent than the full article.
2. Did you Pshop this picture or does he have a dick sticking out of his collar?
3. First!
Blast!
Did you Pshop this picture or does he have a dick sticking out of his collar?
It’s chin residue.
Hear again this day my (almost daily) thanks for er, digesting the most inane and hateful of the idjitocracy so I don’t have to.
The fact is, Bush has never lied to the American people. Prove it. The fact also is, a black man will never be elected president.
Did you Pshop this picture or does he have a dick sticking out of his collar?
I definitely want to meet this guy.
The fact is Jennifer, you are wrong: the fact is, the picture actually says, “I have a puppy in my van”.
“Did you Pshop this picture or does he have a dick sticking out of his collar?”
Holey shit! You’re right. Urk.
Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that “don’t tell me anything that makes me feel bad” is the essence of modern American Conservatism. They hate Wright not because he’s a racist, but because he talks about things outside their comfort zone. They just can’t handle it.
Do they even make Binaca anymore?
The fact is, that picture says: “Meatloaf special on tuesdays”.
Is that a wattle in your collar or are you just happy to see me?
George W. Bush didn’t lie. He believed all that stuff he said about Iraq, even if it wasn’t true.
So he’s not a liar. He’s just clueless and careless.
And as a typical Republican who would never enlist or do anything to help the war effort except go shopping, put a magnet on my car and shout traitor at people I don’t agree with, I find that comforting.
You think John Kerry could have done better? If he had lied, he’d have known it was a lie.
Liberals. Hmf.
Directions:
Spray Binaca 2 or 3 times into your mouth to freshen your breath instantly.
Tamper Resistant. Use only if package is sealed.
Ingredients:
SD Alcohol 38B, Isobutane, Glycerin, Flavor, Water, Sodium Saccharin
Warnings:
Avoid spraying into eyes. Contents under pressure. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120F. Keep out of reach of children, except under adult supervision.
OT
For those unaware, Fafblog is back on the air.
The Whole World’s Only Source of Fafblog.
What zany whackiness! Since when has race ever been a major issue in America?
The fact is, that picture says: “Alzheimer’s ain’t so bad.”
Nigger, nigger, nigger.
The fact is, this guy does not have a wattle around his neck, he has a foreskin.
“Al Gore — Jeremiah Wright/Howard Dean — “
Problem:
(a) Language is an intrinsically linear process; whereas
(b) List of liberal signifiers to bring into the diatribe is parallel.
Solution:
Gibber.
Gary Ruppert wrote:
Well, George W. Bush once told the American people that Gary Ruppert’s testicles were larger than chickpeas.
“In 1983, following fifteen years of employment, Joseph Pecar left IBM as a Senior Engineer/Manager to found his own company. By 1995, his company had grown to more than twenty Complex Information Systems Engineering and Integration professionals, whose focus went beyond knowing “how to do things right” to those extremely rare individuals who when confronted with Complex System decisions are able to identify the “right things to do.”
Mr. Pecar, a graduate electrical engineer (BSEE 1960 University of Detroit/MS 1964 University of Maryland) was principal author of the 1993 edition of the “McGraw-Hill Telecommunications Factbook” — which ranked number six on McGraw-Hill’s technology best-seller list and expanded to an 800-page edition in 2000. Based on his experience and the book, Mr. Pecar has given telecommunications and information system seminars at the National Security Agency and other companies.
The jokes just write themselves.
Well, George W. Bush once told the American people that Gary Ruppert’s testicles were larger than chickpeas.
Technically that was not a lie. It was more of an April Fool’s Day joke (though on the wrong day).
In this geezebag’s world, they’re still serving Moxie at the Automat.
The fact is that I don’t need testicles, since I have my M1 Battle Rifle and my Desert Eagle (the most powerful handgun in the world) as replacements.
Also, the Trumpet of Freedom, Patriots, and The Heartland.
A couple of thoughts:
a) Wannabe “firsters” who keep failing, please shut the fuck up. I’ve been first on pretty much every blog of note, and it did nothing to improve my life. In fact, it was always by accident. I spit on your “first” posts, and remind you to shut the fuck up.
b) I refuse to click on the link. Indeed, the shorter treatment is more than enough to piss me off. Why would I want to end my day in a bad mood? I’ll just take your word for it.
Oooopppss. Desert Eagle cannot describe the most powerful handgun in the world. Without telling us which chambering, your statement is meaningless. And even if you want to tell us it’s .440 or .50AE, it’s still nowhere near as powerful as the .500 S&W Magnum.
Sorry, just keeping my Pedant Olympics credentials polished up.
Please proceed…
mikey
First!
The fact is, that guy is wearing the proverbial bag of dicks ’round his neck.
The truth is, due to a refusal to wear corrective lenses Me appears to have gone on a tirade about fisting in blogs.
And 29th! is central to my point.
Middle!
Wait. This guy’s name is the Frenchified version of Pecker.
That explains why he’s sporting a penis ascot.
“it’s still nowhere near as powerful as the .500 S&W Magnum.”
The fact is, that’s what I meant to say. I got distracted by a commercial for The 300, which is a movie that is far to Heterosexual for Liberals. Here in The Heartland, we Patriots know all about that sort of thing so that we can be ready when The Trumpet of Freedom sounds.
Yeah.
Oh my God – that’s NOT a wattle.
It’s … it’s … it’s a TENTACLE!!!!11!
This part stuck out (ahem) for me … “do we really want to entrust the Presidency of the United States to someone so purblind to cataclysmic matters?”
If this twat is a Bushoid, he gets the Orwell Award for irony.
Is our wingnuts learning?
Please tell me this is a parody. Obama’s pastor saying stuff (mostly spot-on) that ruffles feathers is now on a par with going to Defcon 1? Wow.
Shuffle on back to the Triassic period, JP, post-haste.
Your pet Allosaurus is hungry.
Jonah says: I would have a lot more respect for the folks who believe it if they aimed their brave contempt for religion at those who might behead them for it.
So what he really means is he’s all for making fun or – as he calls it – “hate” for religion, as long as people hate the religion he thinks should be hated.
and also – because, for Jonah, jokes = hate speech. Actual hate speech, however, is OK as long as you hate Muslims.
Me appears to have gone on a tirade about fisting in blogs
Now *that’s* something we don’t read nearly enough about here on S,N!
I’ve got a box of nitrile gloves, a vat of Astroglide and a speculum with Gary’s name all over ’em…
i think it’s more like: “come reach into grandpa’s pocket and find a nice surprise.”
perv.
The fact is, fiRst you’ll need a pair of those giant salad tongs they use to deliver babies.
Because the truth is, you wouldn’t be able to get your hand past GRuppert’s head.
What’s all this about fishing?
I like fishing.
“The guards will suspect nothing!” says Giblets. “At least not til a stray gust of wind dislodges our fake plastic mustaches at the last minute and blows our cover in fronta the feds.”
I like fafblog, too.
I wear corrective glasses for purblindness. The fact is that they also make me look smarter.
The fact is, Me doesn’t need corrective anything. Being first on Sadly, No is akin to peeing your pants. It takes no special effort, it’s not a source of honor, and it usually happens by accident. I should know.
I’m always happy to clear up any confusion. Thank me later.
Being fisted on Sadly, No is akin to peeing your pants. It takes no special effort, it’s not a source of honor, and it usually happens by accident.
Holy shit… EISENHOWER LIVES!
FRED MERTZ LIVES!
Did someone just pee in that poor old man’s pants, and does he know about it?
Or is he just grinning at the warm flow of freedom dripping into his slippers?
Can you say “run-on” … or more apropos … “clap on”?
And if he speaks the truth, and if Obama has been a fervent, frequently-participating member in a Church he took great personal interest in, and if in spite of his twenty-year long close association with his church and his pastor he only recently learned of Reverend Wright’s preaching — which Obama now describes as rife with “incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike” — do we really want to entrust the Presidency of the United States to someone so purblind to cataclysmic matters?
I ran out of breath just reading it siliently, to myself.
Did you Pshop this picture or does he have a dick sticking out of his collar?
I have a sinking feeling that lump might actually be one of those vocoder thingies they give you after cancer takes your vocal cords and you have to start talking through a hole in your neck. In which case, us DFHs are picking on a cripple, which would be wrong, except Mr. Pecar-wood is a moral cripple as well so, carry on!
Being first on Sadly, No is akin to peeing your pants. It takes no special effort, it’s not a source of honor, and it usually happens by accident.
Or, as LBJ once said about a similarly useless accomplishment: “It’s like peeing yourself when you’re wearing a navy-blue suit; it give YOU a warm feeling for a while, but nobody else much notices.”
LAST!
No, since we know so little about him, what is in fact extremely crucial to the country and whether or not he would be a trustworthy, moral and highly-principled President, is whether he is a liar — or more precisely, whether or not from March 14 on, Obama lied to us.
As a determined “whether or not” user it must be decided whether or not I should make a decision whether or not I should feel everlasting shame.
.”a trustworthy, moral and highly-principled President, ..”
Said the supporter of the least trustwothy, least principled President ever.
(& since when has that been a presidential requirement?)
Is that a wattle in your collar or are you just happy to see me?
It’s the collar of a pink shirt , under the other shirt .
“Pink , the new Gitmo Orange.It what all the tough conservatives are wearing now” (Not that I care, but imagine if Obama wore pink;)
Shorter?
Not much.
wtf is going on in the content department all day and only two shorters? bleeehhh
The fact is that I don’t need testicles, since I have my M1 Battle Rifle and my Desert Eagle (the most powerful handgun in the world) as replacements.
I used to have an M1 Battle Rifle™, but it got taken away from me by a couple of aged school teachers in a Saab (darned 2nd Amendment deniers!!!), so now I just carry the Airsoft version, you know….for practice.
And that business about your testicles being the size of chickpeas? Ummm….. isn’t that the size they’re supposed to be? And do you mean dried chickpeas or the canned ones? ‘Cause the canned ones are………huge…….no one’s got testicles THAT big……………….right?
“Obomination”? Fuck off.
The fact is, Mr. Peckerneck does that on purpose so the young whippersnappers know how he feels.
All. The. Damn. Time.
Quick, we’d better get offa his lawn before he throws his dentures at us.
The fact is, the fact… is.
The fact is, liberal America haters keep trying to argue with me but they lose in the logic and facts department. Bias blinds them to reality, and they shout insults instead of using reasoned discourse to prove their point, and they call names.
Perhaps I am wasting my time trying to engage with you deluded eleitists, but I will keep trying, it is my duty as a patriot. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a FEMA camp when the next attack hits. I might be there, but as your keeper.
The fact is, I look forward to a time, very soon, when the liberal problem will be resolved, and we can finally restore the constitution and the biblical laws that made this country great.
The fact is, the Gary Ruppert thing is getting really old.
Actually, the evolution of the whole “Gary Ruppert” thing, as it becomes conflated with “Rugged in Montana” (a gay porn title if there ever were one), is kind of interesting. It amuses the hell out of me to not be able to distinguish his real posts (if any) from the fake parody ones.
FOX: “So, Senator McCain, Senator Clinton, what are your strategic plans for winning the general election this fall?”
McCain: “I’m going to have to go with nigger panic.”
Clinton: “Yes, nigger panic is the best option at this time. And I look forward to bringing the message of nigger panic to the American people.”
FOX: “And we’ll be back with a Paris Hilton update after these words on Viagra from Bob Dole.”
Actually, the evolution of the whole “Gary Ruppert” thing, as it becomes conflated with “Rugged in Montana” (a gay porn title if there ever were one), is kind of interesting. It amuses the hell out of me to not be able to distinguish his real posts (if any) from the fake parody ones.
Screw you.
There never was a real Gary Ruppert. 82% of the comments are premised on an elaborate hoax.
Hrmm…..
Maybe we need to photoshop this guy into Admiral Ackbar and change the title to “Its a trap”!!!
Other than that, he sounds like my Father-in-Law, who happens to be a first-class douchebag.
you may find yourself in a FEMA camp
I assume that there will also be FDA camps.
Oooh, and EPA camps! They put the “super” in superfund!
The latest edition of the Lonely Planet Guide to the Internment Camps of North America recommends the National Parks Service Camps. Great locations make up for the substandard accommodation. And at least they’re not using mobile homes.
The fact is, Gary Ruppert in within all of us.
The fact is, Gary Ruppert in within all of us.
Not as long as we’ve kept our vaccinations up to date, dude.
Aw, gee, gang, let’s just focus on the inner ugliness thing, okay? I sometimes get a little uncomfortable with slagging somebody just because he has the effrontery to be old. Maybe it’s psychic fallout from repeatedly seeing fucking Dick Cheney in my goddamn bathroom mirror, but still.