How Bright Could This Woman Be?
ABOVE: Sassy Cassy Fiano and friends
When Cassy Fiano isn’t complaining about the grooming habits of guys she’s dated, she is over at CheezWhizBang posting stuff that, even by that site’s abysmally low standards, is, well, downright embarrassing. In one of her latest posts, she has her spaghetti straps cooked up beyond al dente over her discovery that Planned Parenthood isn’t about to go broke.
[Planned Parent report for the 2006 – 2007 fiscal year is even better. They made over $1 billion in profits.
A new annual report from Planned Parenthood shows the nation’s largest abortion business has made over $1 billion in income for the first time in its history. The non-profit pro-abortion group shows the historical gain in its new annual report covering 2006-2007.
While Planned Parenthood made $972 million in its 2005-2006 annual report, last fiscal year it brought in $1.017 billion.
…
Planned Parenthood reveals it has doubled “excess of revenue over expenses” funds from $55.7 million in 2005 to $112 million in 2006. …
Maybe this is a dumb question. But at what point does the government take away your non-profit status? I’d think reporting over $1 billion in profits would be a pretty big red flag.
Just for giggles, let’s go back and review what Sassy Cassy said was the reason she won’t date liberals:
I tend not to date liberals, for a reason. Politics is so important to what I do and I follow it so much. I can’t respect a guy who’s liberal all that much because it makes me question his intelligence. So, that’s a big minus because I’m thinking how smart can this guy be if he thinks John Kerry is a great politician? (Laughs) If he thinks Barack Obama would be a great President, I think, gee, how bright could this guy be?
More to the point, how bright can someone be who can’t tell the difference between income and profits? Or who can’t figure out that “excess of revenue over expenses” of $112 million means that the company made $112 million, not $1 billion, in profits?
And since when are profits a bad thing in conservative world?
And how much of that was retained for new investment? As a non-profit….
I’d tap that. Wearing a Reagan mask and whatever the thickest grade condom they make is, obviously.
Don’t look at me, I’m not going to ask her out on a date.
Gee, Cassie, maybe it is a dumb question, but I wouldn’t worry about it, because conservative guys like a girl who’s cute and kinda stupid.
Being a conservative, she can always fall back on the “Math is hard” for girls defense. Of course, my 12 year old daughter figured this problem out correctly so she’d be wrong about that too.
Oh, the irony of speaking of “red flags”…..
And lord almighty: she says that PP makes all of that money off of teh abortions!!1!! but they can’t even be bothered to read the annual report to see that the health center income is 345.1M compared with 548.1M in medical service expenses… which means on it own, teh abortions!!!1!1!! aren’t running in the black.
Can’t do math… can’t understand basic designations like not-for-profit… can’t understand investment… conservatives really can’t be trusted to run anything.
I think you’ll find that’s central to her point. Fascist.
We’re currently filming her. First stop: foundation garments.
See, if I were to talk about the latest Planned Parenthood report… I’d actually link to the dang thing (p14 for the details) so my audience could read the details for themselves.
Of course, that would lead to folks actually reading the report, and discovering that the $114M excess of revenue over expenses does not come from medical services. In 2007, PP generated around $357M in “health center income” (that’s where the icky abortion money comes from). Unfortunately for right-wing nut-jobs, the expenses for Medical Services clocked in at around $588M. So health services is a loss leader on the order of around $231M a year.
Well, if I were guessing, I’d say it was when your primary activity generated more revenue than expenses. But hey, that’s just me.
Or we could slice it by removing government aid and private contributions and still having a profit. But if we do that, then PP is $435M in the hole. Whoopsie-doodle!
I guess we’ll just act all outraged over the $300k in government grants instead!
LOL, Jennifer, that was what got me about that link.
That post by conservative blogerrettes was a freaking Disney World of “red flags” for a sane straight male.
> We’re currently filming her. First stop: foundation garments.
Is the foundation brick or concrete?
Sorry.
In all fairness to Sassy, accounting never was the strength of the confederacy. They were much better at enslaving people, impregnating slaves, starting wars, etc. Successfully running honest businesses without enslaved labor – not so good at that.
She could take 5 seconds to Google “non-profit” or check out the blurb on Wikipedia to get her answer, but that involves the ability to understand written words.
I hope its not lost on anyone that tomorrow is the first of April?
See? I tell ya, we are currently sunk deep in a clump of dark matter and it is fucking with reality at the quantum level.
Just sayin’…
In a perfect world , sigh …
In perfect world I wouldn’t even need to tell you , sigh …
A Gentleman Should Know !
Sigh …
The first link leads to the bizarre ‘Interviewing Six Conservative Female Bloggers On Dating.’
Here’s why Sharon Soon won’t date liberals:
Being focused on yourself, and your rights, and materialism, and no ultimate sense of morality… and you don’t have any belief in absolute truth…. You get guys who are selfish and into themselves and don’t care so much about humanity, other people, or me.
You selfish bastards.
Liberals are so selfish, they favor raising taxes and using the money to help those less fortunate! What next, volunteering at the homeless shelter? Sharon Soon won’t put up with such self-centered gallivanting.
The fact is, raising taxes is like Hitler.
And since when are profits a bad thing in conservative world?
When it’s a horrible lefty business like Planned Parenthood (which, as Mark Noonan is happy to tell you, is in the baby-murder-for-profit business…just call it Big Abortion).
Well, that’s just stupid librul talk.
Dr. Melissa’s dating advice has expired! On her own blog she says,
“What the hell do I know about dating considering I’ve been with the same man for 20 years?”
And what’s up with John Hawkins? How come he’s “just friends” with all these women? Was this whole interview thing just a ruse to get one of these fine ladies to date HIM?
See now I’m puzzled. If there exists girls with the same intelligence, care for detail and ability to argue as Ace (who won’t date teh stupid liberal men) why did the playdoh and bacon incident happen?
Let us never forget the immortal words of “Robert,” who said
maybe we can keep the tone of comments at least above that level over here?
Does the Pope shit in the woods? Is a bear Catholic?
Does a bear Pope in the woods?
“You selfish bastards.”
Exactly. What I can’t stand is all those materialist liberals always harping on about capitalism and driving their stupid Hummers everywhere. Why can’t they be more like conservatives, with their emphasis on spirituality and concern for their fellow man? I just don’t get it.
Also, Buddha Bubba ten times fast.
They’re not even trying to camouflage their projection anymore, are they?
The fact is, Conservative men are much more masculine than liberal men. It is the Conservative men who join the armed forces and are fighting the enemy in Iraq and Afghanistan, it is Conservative men that become police officers and enforcers of our nations laws, it is Conservative men who own, carry and shoot firearms and who go hunting, lift weights in the gym, drive trucks and and smoke cigars. Liberal men are the faggots who are stay at home dads and work as male nannies and who are gay and weak and feminine. Conservative men work, we go out get jobs and put bread on the table. Where as liberal men are a bunch of efeminate pussies.
Personally, I’m in favor of extreme loutish vulgarity. But then I’m a leftist, with no belief in absolute truth, no ultimate sense of morality, and no concern about humanity.
“Or who can’t figure out that “excess of revenue over expenses” of $112 million means that the company made $112 million, not $1 billion, in profits?”
Someone did point that out in the comments over at JizBang, so now the argument is “ZOMG they made 11% profits but teh stupid liberals hate the oil companies and they only made 10% profits!!!”
OMG I’ll bet total donations to churches in the US are even more than a billion dollars. Just a rough guess, but it could be at least a trillion dollars! When do they lose tax-exempt status? Or do they get to keep it as a reward for helping Bush get elected?
haiku:
sassy cassy has
two good reasons to fear a
hot, sweaty summer
No, see, she isn’t looking for conservative women to be smart. She wants conservative men to be smart.
Which is, to say, that she wants a man smart enough to put it in her pooper so she won’t need said organization’s services.
Oh, and JizBang is hiring, if anyone here is steeped in abject self-loathing.
You forgot to mention how Conservative Men are cowboys and construction workers and native americans. And how their dedication to physical fitness often leads them to the Young Male Christian Athletes organizations across the nation.
So, young man, are you listening to me? I say, young man, what do you want to be? I say, young man, you can make your dreams real. Just join the G-O-P, now ba-by.
I myself am pondering a gig as the JizBang Tech Editor.
Do these consevatoids ever bother to think about what they’re writing, or is it just some stream of consciousness (as much as the word “conscious” can be said to apply to Bush supporters) sort of thing?
Yeah, this is pretty fucking dumb. Still pretty weak sauce next to that Yoshida thing though.
I think these are the sort of Conservative men Cassy and gang are looking for …
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rep-jane-harman/rapists-in-the-ranks_b_94338.html
In a Post Reagan world, Profits are always calulated on gross revenues. Only a librul would every worry about paying debts.
Johnny C., that doesn’t sound so bad. Your lazy day columns would practically write themselves. For example, you could compare the internet to the rampant promiscuity of teens today and viruses to STDs and demons. Ten minutes, collect your paycheck.
I’d hit it.
Something about hot young republican ladies get’s me going.
All Hail Megan McCain.
El hecho es, los hombres conservadores es mucho más masculino que hombres liberales. Es los hombres conservadores que ensamblan las fuerzas armadas y están luchando a enemigo en Iraq y Afganistán, él es los hombres conservadores que hacen oficiales de policía y enforcers de nuestros leyes de las naciones, él es los hombres conservadores que poseen, llevan y tiran a los armas de fuego y que van caza, levanta pesos en el gym, los carros de la impulsión y y los cigarros del humo. Los hombres liberales son los faggots que son papás de la estancia en el país y trabajan como nannies masculinos y que son gays y débiles y femeninos. Los hombres conservadores trabajan, salimos conseguimos trabajos y ponemos el pan en la tabla. Donde como hombres liberales está un manojo de gatitos del efeminate.
“Oh, and JizBang is hiring, if anyone here is steeped in abject self-loathing.”
Uhh, did I say dumb? I meant brilliant! Yeah, take that baby killing libtards! That shit don’t fly in Bush country baby! Four more years!
I can has check now?
True, but with Yoshi you’re moving beyond mere wingnut weirdness into the realm of full-blown dementia.
Maybe this is a dumb question.
There is no such thing as a dumb question. There are, however, some pretty dumb questioners.
Two things:
1. I’ve never been so glad to be a lefty.
2. I think I might be in luv with Mr. Ruppert.
Oh, I want an innumerate just like the innumerate who married dear old Dad ..
Sadly, as someone who has consumed vast quantities of powerful narcotics while traveling the southwest on a motorcycle, I have indeed awakened many times in a stifling double wide lying naked and spent next to a woman who, after a shower and an hour at the makeup table looked very much like our Cassy.
The good news? It was never real hard to saddle up and get on the road…
mikey
Methinks Fiano is an Italian name and not a redneckian name. While it is true that Italians are in fact superior to all other races, every once in a while a couple of them are born stupid. (see: Giuliani), it’s like with other groups of people and how they occasionally have retards.
“you could compare the internet to the rampant promiscuity of teens today and viruses to STDs and demons. Ten minutes, collect your paycheck.”
That’s pretty good, but I was going to submit an article that points up how Apple’s flashy, expensive and well designed products typify the socialist technocrat mindset of the Democratic party, while Microsoft’s bloated, inefficient software and rapacious business practices typify all that is good about capitalism in general and America in specific.
Same here. I can easily write up bullshit.
The wonders of Google automatic translation.
The original Gary Ruppert:
Conservative men who own, carry and shoot firearms and who go hunting, lift weights in the gym, drive trucks and and smoke cigars.
The original Gary Ruppert translated into Arabic and back to English:
Governor of the men who own and bear firearms and shooting those who go fishing, raising weights in the Gym, and the leadership of trucks and smoke cigars.
You might not believe this, but I’m getting porn popups, and for a second I thought that Sassy Cassy’s picture was one of the PG rated intro pics. She’s cute, but apparently would think I’m a moron. i guess I’ll have to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.
You might not believe this, but I’m getting porn popups
Get outta town!
$112 million in profits? So, can a conservative tell us just how badly it stings when the invisible hand slaps you that hard? Cassy? Gary? Fake Gary?
I do hope people are clear that “nonprofit” status does not mean you can’t earn an accounting profit. The actual language is not-for-profit, and the key question is whether you are spending on tax-exempt purposes.
Anyway, yeah, there’s an infinity of arguments around ZOMG they’re profiting from dead babies or ZOMG they can’t even make a profit from dead babies.
Gatitos, Guillermo? You’ll have to do better than babelfish.
I would hit it if I had about 2 dozen rum and cokes, and 100 mg. Viagra, if she was making out with her attractive friend when we first engaged.
At a party where, impossibly, all my beloved and genuinely fondly-remembered ex’s are telling me how much they missed me.
Decent rack,though.
I do hope no one sees that it’s now April 1 over there and mistakes it all for a joke.
Wait, strike that. I hope a select few people see that it’s April 1 and mistake this thread for an April Fool’s joke. Too much to hope for, prolly.
You’ll have to do better than babelfish.
SNET!
If you read the report carefully, you see that PP’s profits would have been much, much higher except that their new website, Abortions4Fun.com, offering one-click Internet abortions, hasn’t been bringing in the ad revenue they hoped (plus they’re in a price war with Abortamazon.com). Also something about some big bets in subprime abortions and collateralized abortion obligations went kind of, uh, belly up or something. But when Black Caesar’s $200 billion bailout of abortion lenders comes on the heels of his mandatory gay abortions, the organization should be cooking again. I just bought 500 shares.
I’m always amazed and pissed off by people who think that because you can think independently you therefore have no moral center. Because you’re not marching to someone else’s beat, you don’t have any values. It’s just the hardest hurdle for these folks to get over to believe that someone who doesn’t follow dogma can follow the golden rule.
I’m also amazed and pissed off that it is snowing like a sonofabitch in the Twin Cities right now. I’ll be damned if I’m going to shovel this stuff any more.
Ok, I know I am supposed to knock the chicks over there, and I will, four out of five were Uggin’ fugly. I was interested in the white supremacist in the comments of the post though. Check em out. http://trenchraider.blogspot.com/
Although he is a respectable one, the kind that read American Renaissance. And he is a cop. In Texas. Go figure.
I’ll be damned if I’m going to shovel this stuff any more.
AAAAHHHH my hip!!!!
Hang in there, gbear,
We’ve had 25″ more than normal here in the tropical city of Chicago. I like winter OK, especially at the beginning, but this one is sucking the life out of me like some sort of Vampire of Mother Nature.
I can’t stand it anymore. Much like I can’t stand Chris Matthews and Howard Fineman discuss the importance of Obama’s bowling skills.
I’m ready to die. And Matthews posits that McCain could win. Genius, I tell you!
[…] Part 1. Scroll through the comments. […]
More to the point, how bright can someone be who can’t tell the difference between income and profits?
Pudgy fat white trailer trash in a spaghetti-strap top and you even HAVE to ask????
And that’s ANOTHER thing!
Like black people can say the “N” word, I can talk about white trash. I know white trash. I can still find white trash in walking distance, and I’m talking about my bedroom.
My first thought upon seeing the picture: Not a math whiz. And not because she’s female, either.
Non-profit means, of course, that no-one “profits” from the exercise — that no investors get paid off, etc. AARP took in more than $1 billion last year, too – but its also a non-profit because its goal is not to provide return for investors, but achieve a public-minded purpose.
If non-profit meant just not earning money, then W. spent his entire pre-government life in the non-profit sector. NGOs devoted to ruining oil companies and squandering investors’ money.
From what I was hearing when I left work, the entire city is on strike against shovelling snow any more. The little old ladies are just going to have to lie there until the snow melts and we can find them again.
At least reading about these conservative women lets me know that things could be much worse. There are advantages to being old and queer.
but I’m getting porn popups
So that’s what they’re called these days.
Que gatitos lindos!
but I’m getting porn popups
Mmmmm, they’re tasty!
Who said rack? Rack? Dude, I can’t make it past the cleavage.
However, who is that manly Ruppert man. As a manly man myself, I’m feeling some very strong, very Christian, very manly, and oh, so conservative feelings toward the Ruppert.
Que gatitos lindos!
Muy delicioso… deliciosisimo!
Dude, I can’t make it past the cleavage.
that’s because it runs right off the page.
Si yo pudiera, yo le daría una bofetada upside da head.
I’m referring to Gary *and* Cassie, here.
She does look very hoochie mama in that outfit she’s wearing.
Ahh, wingnuts. In love with every corner of big business…except the (remotely) one that preserves women’s health.
No, you people aren’t insane. Not at all.
You guys don’t realize how lucky you are with your weather and your snow.
Today? Another sunny spring day, seventy degrees.
Positively boring.
The giants are going to milwaukee for a weekend series with the brewers.
My boss has meetings in Boise later this week. Poor baby needed to cancel his golf ’cause it’s only forty degrees.
Hee hee…
mikey
Personally, I’m in favor of extreme loutish vulgarity. But then I’m a leftist, with no belief in absolute truth, no ultimate sense of morality, and no concern about humanity.
Exactly.
But at what point does the government take away your non-profit status?
I dunno. Let’s ask Pat Robertson . . .
Cassy, I’m dubious. Would a good, honest conservative Christian woman really Photoshop out her stretch marks?
Specimens like this one are never the result of planned parenthood.
Johnny Coelacanth,
Take the gig! Just make a list of about a hundred excuses why the server is down again or comments aren’t working.
This might help.
Good luck!
First stop: foundation garments.
Perhaps some right-wing think tank could arrange a foundation grant.
Since I’m multilingual (English as well as Spanish, Chinese, Korean, and intermediate douchebag, thanks to living in a racist enclave for awhile), I thought I’d mention this–from that terrible “conservatives on dating LOL YAY” link:
“I met Sharon Soon from Conservatives With Attitude at CPAC and assumed she was kind of shy — which she is, until you talk to her for about 5 minutes.”
Translation: “I met this SEXXXY AZN CHICK from the who-fucking-cares-where-we-met,-she’s-Asian-and-female-and-actually-talks-to-me-omg!11! and assumed she was kind of shy, because she’s Asian–duh!–and as it turns out she isn’t shy but she still is because I can’t let go of my view of Asian women as shy. Also her shirt is see-through!!!111!one!”
By the way, all of the women–at least in these photos–look pathetic and/or tragic. Like people whose facebook profiles/pictures one might pore over in a “dear god it’s like a train wreck” sort of way.
She could stand to lose a few pounds. Also, is she modeling the Divine “Blanc Garbage” line in that picture?
“maybe we can keep the tone of comments at least above that level over here?”
to re-quote one of my favorite responses: “like that would shut us up”
to keep the conservation on a clean level I won’t make a joke about her bra size being a 42-long…
When do we get another DayByDay remix?
“I’m also amazed and pissed off that it is snowing like a sonofabitch in the Twin Cities right now. I’ll be damned if I’m going to shovel this stuff any more.”
on Opening Day too gbear. I’m watching the Angel game here in So. Cal. Weren’t you guys supposed to be playing in a new outdoor stadium
me hi-jacking thread w/ baseball. I can haz baseball again.yay.
I wonder if Cassy has ever shot a possum?
“hoochie mama”
Please, only Dr. Laura can use that phrase.
I wonder if Cassy has ever shot a possum?
I wonder if she’s ever shot a man!
I shot a possum in Reno.
Just to watch him die.
Got a littering ticket…
mikey
[…] BatClif responds Sadly, No! » How Bright Could This Woman Be? […]
And what’s up with John Hawkins? How come he’s “just friends” with all these women? Was this whole interview thing just a ruse to get one of these fine ladies to date HIM?
Yeah, every time he asked them that question, “Have you ever tried online dating? How did it work out for you?” I expected the followup to be “And did you ever, uh, you know, go out with, like, a blogger interviewer guy maybe?”
shoot a possum? how about a beaver?
I wonder if Cassy has ever shot a possum?
Is that what they’re calling it these days?
Orden your pizza now if you want it to be ready at intermission.
(honk honk honk honk!)
Sorry, Tim(the Other One). I thought about going with skanky hoochie mama, but decided no…she’s actually a cute girl, if you disregard teh stoopid and the sleazy way she’s dressed.
Sorry, we’re having an intermittant, asynchronous checksum condition at JizBang Tech today, please come back tomorrow for our non-static, illegal parameter rejection.
Ask the accountant for mega-church ya dumb harlot, sheesh.
Do you think Pam Atlas looks at someone like Cassy’s Fianos and sees a pretender to the ConservoSlutPrickTeases throne?
Do you think they’d fight if you put them in a room with a big inflatable pool full of jello?
Do you think you’d pay at least $50 for tickets to such an event?
Please let me know ASAP, it will take some time to track down and subdue the two contestants.
Jennifer,
Just put the “skanky” back in to avoid TM problems w/ Dr. Laura.
Also, you can’t use “shack-up honey”.
Tim(the Other One) – but she’s not really skanky, other than because of the way she’s dressed. If “What Not to Wear” would get ahold of her, she’d probably look real cute in different clothes. I actually don’t feel all that great about calling other women ugly. Most of them aren’t ugly, anyway.
Well, she does have some pretty big headlights.
Thank you, I’ll be here all week!
Jennifer, do your thing. I’m just having a laugh over conservative derogatory slang.
And the Angels are losing.
make a joke about her bra size being a 42-long…
More of this, please!
I dunno, she looks like a girl I used to date. And for what it’s worth, both of us had shot possum (possi?) by the time we’d dated. Both girls shared similar fashion sense, too.
Reckon what the Bubba on the far left’s so mad at? He’s all bowed up on that truck in that classic redneck “Say a word and it’s your fuckin’ ass, boy” pose that’s designed to get the other guy to swing first, because you don’t reckon you can whip him so this way you can sic the cops on him later on.
I’m with you Jennifer. These girls aren’t ugly, nor do they qualify as skanks or sluts or whathaveyou in my book. Their embrace of a repulsive ideology is what makes them repellent.
Here’s Cassie’s blog, though it’s mostly just reruns of her crap at WhizBang. And here is a pic of Ms. Fiano in a bikini at the beach.
Qualify? Cassy has already made it to the semi-finals.
i’m all about being an asshole, believe me… but can we trash them without resorting to calling them fat, slutty, trailer-trash whores, please? it’s just so classless and lame.
and again… i know little about classiness, but this thread sounds like a fucking good ‘ole boys frat party…
/end old man yelling from his lawn.
Johnny Coelacanth,
Take the gig! Just make a list of about a hundred excuses why the server is down again or comments aren’t working.
Every comment you have ever made at S,N! has been preparing you for this.
However, I am disappointed to see that the Jaco Strauss Tech Excuse Generator has nothing to say about “Meth-addled hamsters going on strike for a higher grade of pharmaceuticals”.
Toga! Toga! Toga!…..
Facts, schmacts. You can use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!
The mental image of someone fucking with a Reagan mask on …. I laughed, but I think it will hurt for the rest of my life.
These girls aren’t ugly
*AHEM*
Value judgements are wonderful, but here’s my question.
You ever wake up with one of our lovelies such as cassy sharing your pillow? Further, her being someone you are entirely unacquainted with in your previous life? With no idea where you are, or how you got there? And her with cigarette and speed breath?
Tangled in sheets that are entirely unfamiliar with the washing machine? Oh, and if you’re really lucky, a couple of syringes and a spoon on the nightstand? I’m just thinking that there’s all sorts of ugly.
But you know what? I was no prize to bring home to momma, and some of those stops on the road were a joy. And I’ll never say say a bad thang about a woman who took the time to love me, even once….
mikey
ok, fair enough. it’s the clothes that make her look, um, “iffy”. In better clothes she would look cute. Actually, some of the other RW lady bloggers looked cute (although one looks damn crazy!) but after they start talking about their political thoughts I think I’d lose all interest.
Moar Deep Thots from Ms. Cassie the Brainiac: “Women have, for the most part, achieved equality in the United States. Sure, there are some isolated incidences of sexual harassment or sexism. But it isn’t a problem we face every day in the United States anymore.”
on the other hand, if she doesn’t have a confederate flag tattoo somewhere on her body then she’s thought seriously about getting one….
Johnny – agreed with you on the repulsive ideology. And FWIW, not harshing on any of the other posters…it’s just something I don’t like doing. Any girl who ever had the pleasure in adolescence of having a guy bark at her knows what I’m talking about. And I’m better looking than these girls…but you never forget that kind of thing.
Ben Shapiro is hot. Can I deflower him?
“Ben Shapiro is hot. Can I deflower him?”
You’d be foolish not to !
How Bright Could This Woman Be?
Are we talking about the camera flash that’s reflecting off her bosom?
Just wait a few years, and we’ll be lamenting the boring weather while you’re trying to swim your way to work and back. gbear, I’m with you! It’s just an early April Fools’ joke, and it’ll all melt in the next few days! *crosses fingers*
I’ve tracked Ms. Fiero to her Myspace page. Any residual sympathy I felt for her evaporated when I read this: “I’m conservative to the core, and a hard-core Republican. My professional idols include Michelle Malkin, Mary Katherine Ham, and of course, Ann Coulter. “
JasonC said,
April 1, 2008 at 3:15
?????????????asshole ??????… ?????????????????????????????slutty ???????????trash ?????????????????????????????????? ?????… ??classiness ????????????????????` ????????frat ??????????… ???????? ??????????/end ????
It looked better with the Babelfish Japanese, trust me.
And I did not have secks with that woman!
Johnny C – I am getting worried that you are becoming fixated on Ms. Fiano…
“Johnny C – I am getting worried that you are becoming fixated on Ms. Fiano…”
I just want to see if there’s a bottom to teh stoopit. So far, nope.
You get guys who are selfish and into themselves and don’t care so much about humanity, other people, or me.
Shorter Soon-
Lib Boys don’t spend enough money on me.
Fascinating analysis of a corporate balance sheet.
Looks like she may be carrying a couple of unmanaged liabilities on her books…..
So, that’s a big minus because I’m thinking how smart can this guy be if he thinks.
Punctuation corrected. She meant to put a period after “thinks.” Also is that photoshopped or is she really Daisy Mae without the charm. Or what was that show I never watched? Hee Haw?
mikey-> japanese mikey -> mikey
Judgment helix it seems, but it is my question here. 1 person of our clean women like Cassy it awakes and shares your pillow? Furthermore, being someone whom her you do not know in life before you? It is, or how the thought of arriving there. And her of breath of tobacco and speed? It makes tangle with the seat which is inexperienced in the washer and perfection? Actually if good fortune night standpoint well, and, some droppers and the spoon? I fairness various diversified am scurvy, but you think that it is, is.
Scurvy I am too, japanese mikey.
But yeah.
Yeah.
That’s EXACTLY what I meant….
mikey
Wyoming freed the slaves in 1929. Islamosexualists are trying to get my essence. Hardtack and pemmican.
Sorry, I’m in a hurry today.
I can never keep it straight, are liberals stupid, or are they intellectual elitists?
Uranus Hz said,
April 1, 2008 at 4:27
I can never keep it straight, are liberals stupid, or are they intellectual elitists?
Io possono mai non mantenerli diritto, sono i liberali stupido, o sono elitisti intellettuali?
Neither Google nor Babelfish offers an English-Klingon / Klingon-English translation capability.
Stupid computer! Be more geeky!
We are stupid intellectual elitists. Violent pacifists. Dangerous wimps. Fanatics with no beliefs. All-powerful losers. Left-wing fascists.
We are everything (so long it’s something that wingnuts disapprove of).
I am firmly opposed to all class distinctions.
Or he’s getting ready to piss on the fender.
We are the geeky computer we’ve been looking for.
I cannot deny it. I’ve got no class.
No class:
Ain’t got no home, ain’t got no shoes
Ain’t got no money, ain’t got no class
Ain’t got no skirts, ain’t got no sweater
Ain’t got no perfume, ain’t got no beer
Ain’t got no man
Ain’t got no mother, ain’t got no culture
Ain’t got no friends, ain’t got no schooling
Ain’t got no love, ain’t got no name
Ain’t got no ticket, ain’t got no token
Ain’t got no God
I can never keep it straight, do liberals lack all conviction, or are they full of passionate intensity?
How come the Treasure keep print so many dollars when they ain’t got the money to buy them huh?
Gosh, I dunno. I’ll think about it while I slouch towards Bethlehem.
Not even Parcheesi?
Aint got no job
Aint got no smoke
Aint got a car
His lifes a joke
Living on the skids
Thinks the worlds just fine
Forgot what he did
Dancing on the breadline
–Dave Mustain, Megadeth
The Montana Milita (sic) doesn’t play games son.
They have been known to play pocket pool.
Liberals are too self-centered and materialistic. They should be buying me gifts and paying for dinner!
I’m a girly girl and Cassie looks like trailer trash to me. But to each his own, Montana.
I can never keep it straight, do liberals lack all conviction, or are they full of passionate intensity?
liberals are definitely maybe.
I looked at that and thought, “I know those Bubbas love their pickups, but I didn’t realize it went as far as actually humping them.”
Goddammit, RandomObserver ( and maybe others up top). Beating me to the punch like that. How the fuck do you take something like “Hey, wouldn’t it be great if we could all come together and pool our resources so that EVERYONE could have health care” and “Could we, maybe, stop using so much oil so we don’t need to blow up brown people?” and conclude that the only logical thing is that these people are selfish, materialistic, and uncaring of other people’s needs?
Then it came to me that these chicks really just want to be someone’s trophy wife, so of COURSE it’s the MAN who’s selfish and uncaring, because he’s not giving her a free run at the checking account to buy more designer crap and have cocktails with the other wives of the gated community to talk about how those LIBERALS want to ruin everything. Oh, and to secretly pay for their own/daughter’s abortions. But it’s okay, because it’s the OTHER whores who are the filthy sluts.
I just attended an all-day cracker getogether complete with the decaying mobile home and two stroke vehicles. If Ms. Fiano had shown up, I’d be in there like a dirty shirt.
And after about a minute of chat, I’d show my Marxist side and duck-walk right back out of there.
?Que es mas macho, Conservative or Light Bulb?
Dawn Eden who wrote “The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On” finds men who are relaxed and comfortable to be around the less desirable choice in the long run.
I like how these wingnut cultists view all liberals as Casanovas who never settle down, get married, commit, have kids, love their wives and husbands and children. (What’s more, apparently we’re naked 24/7 with each other.) No, it’s much too dangerous to take a chance with a sensitive easy going guy. Better to choose a belligerent wingnut who is hard to get along with cuz any woman can live with a guy like that forever.
Liberal or conservative? Man caught humping picnic table Police Captain Matt Johnson said: “The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table.”
Liberals spend too much time on redistribution of wealth and not enough pleasuring my big floppy funbags.
Lesley, that’s because, when they get drunk on bud light and call you a stupid bitch in front of your mother, it’s because they have strong, godly values. Why WOULDN’T you stay with that?
“Man caught humping picnic table”
um, er, um, er, um, er… uh, carry on then.
Don’t forget Macho Sluts.
In better clothes she would look cute. Actually, some of the other RW lady bloggers looked cute … but after they start talking about their political thoughts I think I’d lose all interest.
Agreed. This sort of woman is exactly the kind that made me realize my Ma knew what she was talking about with that whole “cute is as cute does” lecture.
Sharon Soon? Dawn Eden?
Sounds like porn names to me.
And for the record, I would tap that sweet, sweet, Cassy ass. (After a few shots)
Then again, I’m also a depraved, godless Liberal, and she looks like she’s been around enough times to know what she’s doing. Experience is the key to good sex, and she looks like she might have me beat.
If their men are church-going, masculine men with good values, why do these Christian women have such a hard time finding a good man? Maybe it’s because they shoe-horn themselves into old cliched gender roles too narrow and rigid to let them feel comfortable with themselves.
“Dawn Eden who wrote …”
She’s just bitter be cause she was born with her stripper/porno name.;)
….. it had lots of dating stories in it, so I hit up Dawn for an interview.
??? Intentional or not? The parody/irony flakes are getting thick out here.
From Shorter Sharon Soon
“…and no ultimate sense of morality — because I guess when you believe in a more secular way of life, a more liberal viewpoint, it’s all about what you can do for yourself and how you can be happy…and you don’t have any belief in absolute truth or religious principles to guide how you live…”
Sooooooooo….. Only conservakooks are religious? It takes fear of afterlife punishment to do the right thing, and organized fear at that(See my “Little League Syndrome rant sometime;) ? If you are basing your “morality” on this fear, are you a good person , or merely acting like one? It’s better to act “good” than be “good”? Oh I forgot, a lib-rul political position precludes being good . My bad 😉
“I agree: Cassy is hot looking.
Actually, all our gorgeous, which is typical of conservative women.”
Uh Huh. :=(
I like how these wingnut cultists view all liberals as Casanovas who never settle down, get married, commit, have kids, love their wives and husbands and children.
I think Ms. Eden’s problem is that she has never found ANY man willing to spend his life with her and since she lived in NYC she figured all those guys dumping her after getting to know her must be liberals. Liberal or conservative, I think Ms. Eden needs to look deep into the mirror if she wants to know why no man wanted to marry her. She can start with the idea that most men don’t like know-it-all narcissists.
Looking at Cassy’s picture, my guess is that she has perpetually dirty feet and smells vaguely of sour cheese.
Susan of Texas said,
April 1, 2008 at 6:17
If their men are church-going, masculine men with good values, why do these Christian women have such a hard time finding a good man? Maybe it’s because they shoe-horn themselves into old cliched gender roles too narrow and rigid to let them feel comfortable with themselves
They’re nuts , and we’re scared? 😉
Ok, I’m done. The Virgin Ben Shapiro is no longer a virgin.
The Virgin Ben Shapiro is no longer a virgin.
Well then! Sounds like it’s time for a contest to come up with his New Name!
Ok, I’m done. The Virgin Ben Shapiro is no longer a virgin.
The Seventh Seal has been broken, The End Times are here.
The Same-As-The-Other-Right-Wing-Assholes Ben Shapiro.
I can never keep it straight, do liberals lack all conviction, or are they full of passionate intensity?
They’re passionately intense about their lack of conviction.
The Same-As-The-Other-Right-Wing-Assholes Ben Shapiro.
Not bad, but I think his not being a virgin is some kind of distinction in that crowd. Just as much as being a virgin was.
The Seventh Seal has been broken,
and there was silence in the Blogosphere for about the space of half an hour. And there was wailing, and gnashing of teeth. For Lo! said the masses, The meth-addled hamsters of Sadly,No! are on strike again! And they garbed themselves in sackcloth and ashes, which quite frankly did not suit them.
Smut Clyde said,
April 1, 2008 at 7:00
The Seventh Seal has been broken
Look on the bright side ; now the real weirdness can begin . You just know Shorter Ben will blab about it sooner or later , probably to somehow demonstrate his moral superiority in waiting…..& …waiting…..&…….waiting…….
John O , re the snow : I saw that . You got a decent January’s worth this winter . 🙂 I didn’t realize Chicago got so little , being so close to the lake as it is .
The mental image of someone fucking with a Reagan mask on …. I laughed, but I think it will hurt for the rest of my life.
Hell, just having to wear the dam’ thing is what gave Laura Bush that thousand-yard stare…
OT, but fun, from LGM.
http://www.oneplusyou.com/q/v/blog_cuss
S,N! scores an impressive 58.8%, which is apparently 553% more then the average level.
Natch. Someone needs to plug in some of the wingier of the nut’s and find out where they stand.
Hell, just having to wear the dam’ thing is what gave Laura Bush that thousand-yard stare…
Anne Laurie is a very bad person.
Just a bit of history, Bush’s grandfather Prescott was one of the founders and a lawyer for Planned Parenthood. Of course our free and independent press doesn’t ask him his opinion about that.
– Here are a couple of girls who give a bit better political analysis.
Conservatives of whatever stripe are never the sharpest knives in the drawer.
You know, you come here for the one-offs, the snark smackdowns of ruthless idiots and you do your best to chime in with something memorable from time to time. And then someone makes your day by quoting you back. Pathetic little bit of validation but Tim (The Other One), you’ve made my day (and that wouldn’t be easy on this pathetically dreary day in the NE.) Cheers!
The fact is, liberals are a cancer that needs to be cut out of our nation when we restore the constitution and add biblical law.
When they’re made by Dirty Fucking Hippies?
Some Guy said,
April 1, 2008 at 8:53
Sadly, No!:
Around 58.8% of the pages on your website contain cussing.
This is 553% MORE than other websites who took this test.
Atrios:
Around 22.8% of the pages on your website contain cussing.
This is (only) 153% MORE than other websites who took this test.
http://www.oneplusyou.com/q/v/blog_cuss
USA!
USA!
USA!
~
The fact is, liberals are a cancer that needs to be cut out of our nation when we restore the constitution and add biblical law.
So, what would be the penalty for a miscreant like this:
http://thumbsnap.com/v/DD4cql02.jpg
I doubt the Bible is very tolerant of someone who tries to corrupt young people.
[…] talking about dating” post is like kryptonite to boringness! Sadly, No! already beat me to making fun of Cassy “revenues are the new profits” Fiano, but the good news is that Karol Sheinin […]
I doubt the Bible is very tolerant of someone who tries to corrupt young people.
Aw, come on, who is the Bible tolerant of?
Don’t blame SassyCassy for being stupid. She stood up too quickly and all the blood went to her boobs.
Anne Laurie is a very bad person.
And this is why I love her.
OK, Cassy is done.
Next!
Conservatives might not always be so easy to get along with at first, but I thought it was worth my time to get to know men who were compatible with me and would eventually warm up.
And he never hits me in the face.
http://www.oneplusyou.com/q/v/blog_cuss
did anyone else try this? sadly no is fantastically filthy apparently at 521%
fuck that
we should see how high we can get it, shit ass damn.
Ah, fuck! I won’t be able to play from work.
1000 fucking percent!
Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits.
How’s that?
Oh, fudgecakes
ahhh snickerdoodles! jellyfish! mmmpoppycock! am I helping?
I don’t get how the fucking thing works. I plugged in this threads url and got shit – 0%. Damn.
maybe comments don’t count, only the original post?
Jesus motherfucking Christ I hate that cockshit
I also love the fucking winger practice of fucking linking to another fucking wingnut sites “interpreting” the fucking data in fucking question, instead of the fucking addressing the fucking primary source of that fucking data.
Snot!
One can never go wrong overestimating the stupidity of right-wing bloggers. There also seems to be a trend towards fast-food fueled bodies.
georgia’s in florida, dumbass
What the piss is with all this shit-titted fucking swearing?
Cassy Fiano, do I have to start obsessing about “breasts” and “posing” AGAIN?
Awww, cheeseburgers!
Double cheeseburgers!
Fucking bloody Santorum.
Damn.
…please deposit another 2 cents…
Around 0% of the pages on your website contain cussing.This is 100% LESS than other websites who took this test.
I am a big sissy. Whillikers.
Ann isn’t shocked by conservative breasts because they run in fear from Clinton. But liberal breasts are there to attract Clinton. They stand at attention, hoping to be favored with the Liberal Hero’s licentious gaze. It can’t be allowed. Ann Althouse owes feminism that much!
Jonah has a great April Fool’s column in the LA Times. Some excerpts:
Yeah, this really is becoming a “fitna” isn’t it?
oh.
mmm.
unlike other fish magnets…
*head explodes*
If Jonah is so concerned about “The Jews,” why are both his parents ex-Jews? (Not like we want them, or him. Just wondering.)
Shorter Jonah: Muslims are evil, and Darwin fish are for pussies. The only fish I like are from Pepperidge Farm.
Jonah’s on to something. Look at this sentence:
A little more teasing out of that progressive angle and the next book will be Science Made Stupid.
Okay, now I’m confused, His Grace. Are you saying conservative girls won’t date liberal men, or are you saying that Ace won’t date liberal men?
Like so much other Christian-baiting in American popular culture, sporting your Darwin fish is a way to speak truth to power on the cheap
I’m glad he admits Christians are both powerful and wrong.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……zoftig.
Der Hoser says the Darwin fish is a deliberate insult, mocking the faith of the Jesus Fishers and courage of their religious ancestors of Jesus Fishers. And it is very very wrong to mock Jesus Fishers. However Fitna, which mocks Islam, is brave and good.
And liberals are fascists.
They stand at attention, hoping to be favored with the Liberal Hero’s licentious gaze.
They are supported by the underwires of liberalism.
there’s nothing more boring than a conversation where everybody agrees.
http://roadtoimmortality.wordpress.com/
Well, I don’t think must Darwin-Fish users display the thing as a means of professing their admiration for Darwin or their strong belief in evolution. I’m pretty sure such people ARE mocking Fish magnet folks.
Rightfully. And hilariously.
Reckon what the Bubba on the far left’s…
Not even close. He’s a white supremacist redneck from Alabama who’s taking a day off from his job working the cutting torch at his daddy’s junkyard. He’s just shotgunned three cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and now he’s ready to whup his cousin’s ass for calling Bubba’s girlfriend Sassy Cassy a two-bit skank ho.
But first he’s gotta piss against the side of his cousin’s truck, to get him really riled up…
Women must reject feminism and pull themselves up by their bra straps. Breasts must stand firm and full of resolve. They mustn’t flip-flop, or the terrorists win.
So Jonah admires a film that is meant to rile up the Mooooslims but he decries a symbol that is meant to rile up the Xtians.
O-kay.
Oh yeah, this is the author of Liberal Fascism. Internal consistency is not central to his point.
…and Susan wins the thread.
Who needs Darwin Fish when you could have Pirate Fish instead?
Where as liberal men are a bunch of efeminate pussies.
As they say, you are what you eat.
I guess you’re just jealous.
That’s very rude of you to use the most unflatteringly lardy, skanky, photo of her you could find… wait, that’s the picture SHE chooses to represent herself?
Carry on.
I had a Jesus fish AND a Darwin fish on my car. I got some great stares sometimes…..
Mikey, you should write a novel. I would buy it.
But the most annoying aspect of the Darwin fish is the false bravado it represents. It’s a courageous pose without consequence. Like so much other Christian-baiting in American popular culture, sporting your Darwin fish is a way to speak truth to power on the cheap.
If Goldberg is looking for counterparts to the Fitna director — courageous individuals who expose themselves to genuine risk, out of their commitment to the values of liberal democracy — there are some doctors carrying out abortions who might appreciate his support. More to the point, they might value any spare bullet-proof vests he can send them.
We are stupid intellectual elitists. Violent pacifists. Dangerous wimps. Fanatics with no beliefs. All-powerful losers. Left-wing fascists.
And we want to institute Sharia law so that gay marriage will be legal.
Damn, she’s right… I don’t care about her!
Well, I don’t think must Darwin-Fish users display the thing as a means of professing their admiration for Darwin or their strong belief in evolution. I’m pretty sure such people ARE mocking Fish magnet folks.
In the DFH/libertarian circles I know best, the Darwin fish are meant to mock those True Xtian Believers who act like God is their Co-pilot and He’s auditioning for the next Airplane spoof. Because the prominent display of Xtian car decoration is always a good marker if you’re looking for a driver who also believes in stream-of-unconsciousness multiple-lane shifts, left turn on red, parallel parking as an extreme sport, tailgating 18-wheelers, disciplining the kids while talking on the cell at 60 miles an hour, and the theory that cars don’t work right unless the turn signal is blinking at all times.
Although the magnets Ted Rall refers to as “Our Sainted Dead ribbons” have become a close second in the highway version of the Darwin Awards. Anyone who wants to commit suicide without cheating their survivors out of the insurance money could just find a car with the Magic Trifecta — Xtian fish, 9/11 ribbon, and “Proud parent of an X student at X Academy” sticker — and follow it down the highway some busy afternoon as the school programs end and the rush hour begins.
So “usury” is to Judaism what “Darwin” or ‘evolve” is to Christianity? Wouldn’t that mean that people insult Christians by calling them Darwinist or Evolutionist?
a driver who also believes in stream-of-unconsciousness multiple-lane shifts, left turn on red, parallel parking as an extreme sport, tailgating 18-wheelers, disciplining the kids while talking on the cell at 60 miles an hour, and the theory that cars don’t work right unless the turn signal is blinking at all times.
Such drivers are merely doing their noble, altruistic best to prepare you heathens for the challenging road conditions that will occur immediately after the Rapture.
Good fun with the repressive, legged fish of Darwinian automotive fascism, but it was the lead-in to it that grabbed my attention:
Please, Jonah, tell us all about your magical, memorable night in Istanbul.
It was a dark night, and the sky was filled with stars. I was filled with the manly warmth that comes from drinking with the natives and receiving their shy confidences. Just as I was starting to explain that I wasn’t that kind of guy, a hooded figure caught my eye. I left my new friends and sidled closer to the man of mystery.
“I noticed you noticing me,” I whispered into the scary recesses of his hood. “Then I noticed you noticing me noticing you. So I thouught if you noticed me, I should tell you I noticed….”
“Silence,” the Man of Mystery hissed. Let’s call him MOM. “I have a secret message to pass to the West. We of the Strange and Exotic East want you to know that we sympathize with your desire to sit in your Barcalounger and watch us die horribly for your personal amusement and profit. Go with God, young conservative. And remember me!”
He thrust a small statuette in my hands. I slipped it into my shirt.
“Thanks, MOM,” I replied. “I owe your everything. I’ll never forget!”
And a moment later he was gone. I peered at the statuette, a tiny lawn jockey painted inky black. I sighed, a manly tear tracing its way down my dewey cheek. He was one of us after all.
The end.
I always did believe today’s conservatism was a genetic defect. LOL!
Hey! I’m hoping to go to Instanbul this year. My boss’ mother, whom I love and adore, invited me to stay with her in Turkey on vacation. I have to brush up on my poker, she’s damn good at cards and all her friends and neighbors play. I foresee an international card ass kicking in my future. Good thing American money is like monopoly money. lol Toys ‘R Us here I come.
I’ve got a whole item on Jonah’s latest. I know it’s low-hanging (hell, it’s rotting on the ground) but this one was extra-stupid, I had to do something.
I see Jonah is crawling back into the primordial slime once again …
Christians persecuted by the Romans used to draw the Jesus fish in the dirt with a stick or a finger as a way to tip off fellow Christians that they weren’t alone.
Which is the opposite of what secular rationalists are doing with the Darwin fish, in a country where they are the minority.
I debated about commenting here, because after 251 comments I am suffering from snark overload, but I soldier on.
Anne Laurie:
What is it with these arrogant KKKristian fucks saying, “God is my co-pilot”? Jehovah would kick their lame asses to the curb for such an insult (if he didn’t just eviscerate them with his laservision and catapult them into the lake of burning feces).
That Cassy gal is hot like a sunburn. But I’d want to delouse her after she’d been hangin’ out with all them good ol’ boys.
Democommie,
According to many Christians, Jesus is fucking unemployed, has nothing better to do and way too much time on his hands. I personally having him building a compost pile in my backyard. Sure It’s not much right now, but eventually he’ll how up for work. I’m fucking important! LOL! Dead people and deities are like that. Calling their own hours and shit when their believers need them to do menial shit they do not want to do.
I’d think reporting over $1 billion in profits would be a pretty big red flag.
When she talks about “big red flags”, for some reason I mentally translate the image into “loud warning
hootersklaxons”.I wonder if Cassy has ever shot a possum?
Don’t know if Cassy has ever shot small animals, but her writing indicates she definitely has “supersized” her prions.
Heh!
This has got to be the most creative ever excuse for wingnut poor spelling: (From another poster on Cheezwhizbang):
I’ve busted a few people who rip off my stuff here at Wizbang — it’s remarkable how well a “Google trap” can work. I just make sure to make up certain phrases or words or deliberately misspell a couple of words every now and then, then do a Google and a Technorati search on them after a couple of days. It works remarkably well.
Gold!
Helen:
Cribbing content from Wizbang? That indicates a much larger problem than simply mizspelene a few words; knowudimean?
That Cassy gal is hot like a sunburn.
MJ’ is still at the top of the “I would hit it, if she had any brain cells” list.
Hey, I’ll say rack if I want to, wussy.
Don’t read her words.
Look at her tits.
Better.
I’ve been having a little back and forth with one of the more obtuse commenters at Cissy’s Planned Parenthood thread.
I guess I’m in big trouble now, as my last comment is being held for moderation.
If anyone would like to go over and post it for me, or link back to this comment, here ’tis:
—————————————————-
To LaMedusa #37:
And yet it took you only a half hour to answer.
I suggest you look up a few of the facts “surrounding” the case. For instance:
State health officials now say, however, that they do not believe Planned Parenthood acted improperly because the organization was given contradictory guidance on billing from the state.
In fact, after Planned Parenthood complained that a lower reimbursement rate could imperil its survival, the state passed a law in 2004 allowing it to continue billing as it had been all along.
LA Times
If PP is indeed found to have been engaging in practices prohibited under the False Claims Act, it will be fined accordingly. It wouldn’t be the first nonprofit to be fined, nor the last. That has absolutely nothing to do with the argument you and your pals have been making in post after post: that a nonprofit organization cannot make a profit and still be a nonprofit.
PS, Cissy’s comment thread is here:
CheeseWizbang
Let’s see if we can get a good link for LaMedusa:
LA Times