Townhall Putsch
Posted on March 31st, 2008 by D. Aristophanes
Dinesh D’Souza offers words of wisdom on the presidential election, in Top 10 list form. Here, the Cliff Notes:
- Obama is really, really black. That doesn’t play in Peoria.
- John McCain is really, really old. That doesn’t play in Peoria. But then neither does black, bitch or Mormon. Or conservative, really.
- Romney’s Mormonism wouldn’t have played well with people who hate Mormons, whose numbers include people who hate Mormons. Fortunately, people who hate Mormons ditched this fucking Mormon.
- If it’s Obama, here’s a wild thought for the GOP — how about TV ads that play up how black he is?
- Democrats lack the requisite racism to throw Obama under the bus. Sucks to be them.
- If Hillary wins, Watts will burn.
- Bill Clinton is currently being dispatched to fuck the Hillary votes out of undecided female super-delegates with his mighty cock of triangulation.
- If Hillary beats Obama fair-and-square, it will be perceived that she beat Obama fair-and-square.
- Hillary is a total fucking bitch.
- She is going to have Obama assassinated.
Obama’s black? Why didn’t somebody tell me . My cousin in Peoria shoulda said something.
OT, but does somebody want to help this poor kid?
Why? I went there to answer a gardening/landscaping question, and got distracted by some shiny wingnut objects. Please forgive me .
Oh GOP, please listen to Dinesh’s advice?
“America deserved to be attacked on 9/11…” *sigh*
Somebody please give DD’S a wingnut scorecard . Wright …over here. Robertson and Falwell… over there. Also, explain the difference between “was” and “should have been”.
He’s right, you know.
The fact is that Obama will be sunk by his anti-American beliefs. The guy has been swimming in a toxic pool of anti-Americanism for so long and he is infected.
While John McCain was serving our nation abroad, the people Obama hangs out with were spitting on veterans.
But the sad fact for Democrats is that Hillary’s refusal to denounce Obama over Wright is going to cause her doom in the fall. If she wins the nomination, then she will get blasted for a lack of backbone on that issue, along with her support of puerto rican terror and her wild exaggerations.
Democrats lost the gubernatorial election in Louisiana by a landslide due to their anti-Catholic ads, which their candidates refused to denounce.
The same will happen here.
Ultimately, Clinton will win Pennsylvania by 30 points, win NC and IN, and sweep the remaining primaries.
It’ll come down to this..
do you pick a team for the NCAA tourney that was good in January, or one that was even better in the March tournies?
Playing up the fact that Obama is a racist radical is a guaranteed win. His campaign’s only response is to whine about racism.
But if a white man obsessed about race as much as Obama, he would be rightfully condemned. But Obama is a black supremacist.
Obama will lose to McCain by 20 points.
“toxic pool of anti-Americanism” a.k.a. the World
You could even stay home on election day, Gary! McCain will steamroll his way to the presidency, so you might as well rest up!
Riots are not out of the question!
I think ol’ Big Ears is looking forward to it.
6. If Hillary wins, Watts will burn.
8. If Hillary beats Obama fair-and-square, it will be perceived that she beat Obama fair-and-square.
It’s a good thing he had #7 in there to blow my mind. Otherwise, I might think that these two points are diametrically opposed to each other, and thus rendering his opinions idiotic.
But thanks to #7… MY MIND!
Wow… the Gary-bot must have gotten an upgrade… no references to “the heartland”, an attempt at serious argument…
I’d be impressed if it wasn’t a collection of lies, urban legends, distortions, and poor analogies.
Up is down, bad is good, and no matter what happens, it’s good news for Republicans!
Lovable, old Gary is back!! (n’est-ce pas?)
owlbear1 said;
Oh GOP, please listen to Dinesh’s advice?
¡¡¡Nooooooo!!!!
Partido de los Pubilculos,: for the Sake of All That Is Fuck, Listen To William Kristol, and Do Exactly As He Says.
so.
the heartland Gary was just an attempt by the left to discredit me.
The fact is that Obama’s anti-Americanism is not what we need in a time of war.
How is Obama anti-American?
It will help your credibility if you include among your examples things that Obama really said.
(The liberalses is tricksy, my precious, with their tricksy ways and their impossibly high standardses.)
There’s a war on? Didn’t the president say the mission was accomplished? I say YOU’RE the one who’s un-American for implying that the president is a liar!
I’m still waiting for McCain to denounce Megan McArdle. His daughter also is referred to as McMegan, so clearly he has to take a position on each of her positions.
I’ll be eager to hear what he has to say about her stands on jailing the Jena 6 and hitting anti-war protesters with 2x4s.
“I’m still waiting for McCain to denounce Megan McArdle.”
Me, too, but mostly for that horrible “recipe.”
Am I supposed to read this from 1 to 10, or backwards from 10 to 1?
How is Obama anti-American?
Isn’t the lack of a flag pin enough for you?
If not here’s some more evidence….
1) He’s black.
2) His first name is “Barack”
3) He’s black.
4) His middle name is “Hussein”
5) He’s black.
6) His last name is “Obama”
7) Although he calls himself “black” he’s not really even “black,” since his mother was white and his father wasn’t even American.
8) His father wasn’t even American.
9) He’s black.
This is why American John “American” McCain is the American President that Americans have been Americanly waiting for!
Ahem. Mr. Ruppert to the WHITE courtesy, please.
7) Although he calls himself “black” he’s not really even “black,” since his mother was white and his father wasn’t even American.
You forgot that his mother was an Anthropologist, which makes him a red-diaper baby. Or the reincarnated Bronislaw Malinowski., which makes him a premature anti-fascist.
That fact that he is father was a friend of Odinga Oginga’s proves he is Anti-Anglospherical. Although the elder Oginga was a pretty spherical guy.
The fact is, Obama is a black man, but not really black, as a mulatto and a product of race mixing, has unstable genes and will not be a good president. Hillary is a bitch, and if she is elected, that man will be back in the WH to rape and kill with impuny. John McCain is by far the best choice, and the heartland will support him. However, I would have preferred Bush revoke the 25th amendment and run again. He still could if the terrorists hit us again.
What a clever little racist wog.
Awesome! Now it’s politically correct to respect democracy. That’s some deep ass thinking there Dinesh. Is there any job in the world easier than being a conservative pundit? All you need to be able to write is “[insert name of program, person or idea] is something I don’t agree with so it’s liberal and politically correct. And the world would be much better if we compromised and you capitulated to everything I say.”
I can haz wingnut welfare now?
Credibility comparison:
Gary Ruppert: The fact is, Obama is a black man, but not really black, as a mulatto and a product of race mixing, has unstable genes and will not be a good president.
The first half is true; the second has not been empirically tested in the environment.
DD: “If Hillary beats Obama fair-and-square, it will be perceived that she beat Obama fair-and-square.”
This is just an outright falsehood.
Score: Ruppert 1, D’Souza 0.
It’s a bad day for Wingnuttery when the defenders make more sense than the original text.
>the people Obama hangs out with were spitting on veterans.
Wait, you mean Obama hung out with Cheney (military-gutting, veteran-hating draft dodger)? W. (drug trafficking veteran hating anti-american AWOL traitor)? Rove (draft dodger veteran hating closeted gay-orgy aficionado)? Limbaugh (junkie veteran hating draft dodger sex tourist)? Rumsfeld (veteran hating draft dodger)? Gonzalez (veteran hating draft dodging anti-american criminal)? Perle, Wolfowitz, Feith (draft dodging anti-american warmonger chickenhawks)?
Gary, you gotta vote for Obama! He’s totally your guy! Screw that, vote for yourself for president. You’re your own hero.
Gary has got to get that multiple personality thing under control.
I’m Gary Ruppert!
No, I am Gary Ruppert!
NO! I am Gary Ruppert!
Even better, Mike, how about the hypocrisy of D’Souza leveling that charge given the ass wrote The Enemy at Home: The Cultural Left and its Responsibility for 9/11.
Wikipedia describes it this way, “… [D’Souza]…argues that the American left was in large part responsible for the Muslim anger that led to the September 11, 2001 attacks.”
Now, about a year later, this hack is out there arguing a third party saying America deserved the 9/11 attacks, whereas he is patriotic because his first party just wrote a book claiming America caused and deserved 9/11.
That is wingnuttery!
I’m Gary Ruppert! … So is my wife!
Just to be serious for a moment….being black is still the original sin in wingnuttia, but it’s not as big a deal even for most right-leaning whites as it once was. This may only be anecdotal evidence, but I’ll offer it up anyway: when my parents moved us from Atlanta to small town Arkansas, I was appalled by the racism. I had come from an area where the population was 1/3 – 1/2 black, had never attended a segregated school, and was really quite unaware as a young teen of all the civil rights upheaval of just 10 years previous…that’s how quickly the racial divide had been more or less settled where I had been living. Then we moved to a town of 15,000 in Arkansas where the black population was just about 1,000 people and the whites were very blatantly racist. Blacks were more or less “confined” to a few isolated blocks in town, where every black person I ever knew there lived. A town where, only 70 miles away in the mountains, signs that said “black man don’t let the sun set on you in Newton County” were still on open display in the 70s, according to people I knew who grew up there. The area where we lived was voting Republican even back in the 70s. I got out of there as quickly as I could, but my mom and sister and her family are still there.
Fast forward to a couple of years ago, when their small town elected…a black mayor. One who most of the folks in town agree is doing a much better job than the three or four previous mayors. One who has yet to even draw a challenger for the next election, so strong is his record and support. The current mayor was a friend of mine when I was in high school and I told my mom, I’m proud of the folks here for putting their racism to the side and electing this guy.
My point is, if a small town in Northwest Arkansas which has been represented by GOP congressmen for over 30 years, with a legacy of very open racism only 20 years in the past and with a black population of less than 10% can see beyond the color of a man’s skin and elect him as their mayor, then it’s entirely possible that people in the rest of the country can do the same when they decide who to support for president. I think it has to do more with establishing a comfort level with the candidate in question than it does with anything else. Sure, there are those rabid racists that won’t vote for Obama because he’s black and they would never vote for anyone who’s black, but they weren’t going to vote for a Democrat anyway. As for everyone else, I think they’re essentially open to at least considering a black candidate, as long as they are able to establish a comfort level with him. And if there is anything we already know Obama to be good at, that’s it – he’s somehow able to talk directly to people in a way that most other candidates can’t. Which to Taylor Marsh and her ilk is a disqualification, but for the rest of us, should be viewed for what it is – a great advantage.
So, onward and upward.
The fact is, Heartland negroes gangs fear rotgut AA poopy pants dirty wogs McCain masculine shoulders aqua velva W. hero mission accomplished Hitlery boo fear scared vagina mother hate
It always cracks me up when MC Daddy Dinish goes off on the Brown Menace. I think when he looks in the mirror he sees a WASP.
Gary Ruppert is people!
The fact is, I’m
SparticusBrianRick JamesGary Ruppert, bitch!Na na na na, na na, hey! Na na na na
Na na na na, na na, hey! Na na na na
We are all Spartacus!
On another topic, we have all these neat recipes and all these useless troll, and Troll is the other white meat, so why not combine the two and cook the trolls? They might be a bit rancid, but the luau would be fun.
I am also John Doe, I mean Gary Ruppert!
The fact is,
If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
McCain is the candidate you’re looking for. Vote for him, and escape.
I am Gay Rupert.
I am Gary Ruppert (and so can you!)
You know, trolls making death threats I can handle.
But trolls quoting lyrics from the Worst. Song. Ever.?
No way dudes, ban his ass.
Oh, Dad! We’re all Gary Ruppert!
Are we not men?
We are Gary!
Are we not men?
G-A-R-Y!
Are we not men?
We are Gary!
Are we not men?
G-A-R-Y!
Are we not men?
We are Gary!
Are we not men?
G-A-R-Y!
In Soviet Russia, Gary Ruppert drives YOU.
Did the Right Wing Welfare office give Gary a step increase? He’s way more productive this morning.
Or maybe he’s celebrating Cesar Chavez day.
But trolls quoting lyrics from the Worst. Song. Ever.?
If it is any comfort, Rupert Holmes crafted his own personal hell when he wrote that song. He ditched the original lyrics, “If you like Humphry Bogart”, because he thought a random exotic-sounding drink would spice up the song. He then served out the rest of his popularity being “the pina colada guy” and getting free ones (which he says taste like kaopectate) pushed on him wherever he goes.
I’m Gary Ruppert. Now here’s what we’re gonna do….
Why was that song so popular? The couple in the song were trying to cheat on each other!
That’s been annoying me for years.
The fact is, let’s walk around in the desert for a few hours.
FWIW, you actually don’t hold a Sousaphone that way. Your hands are generally at 12 and 6.
The fact is, there is unrest in the forest, there is trouble with the trees.
I always assumed that the happy ending was that they could get a no-fault divorce, no tears shed. Did they have no-fault divorces in the 70s, or did the little lady still have to do a favor for uncle judge?
The fact is, I am wearing Wonder Woman underwear.
Just to be serious for a moment….being black is still the original sin in wingnuttia,
Not exactly. To the wingnuts, the sin is that having been freed from slavery, the blacks did not move back to Africa. Thus, they are responsible for whatever crappy deal they have gotten since then. And they are ingrates if they don’t like it.
The sin is not being obedient. They’re supposed to shut up and take whatever the conservatives dish out. Women are supposed to be called bitch and told to stay in their place and just take it. Blacks are supposed to take daily humiliation and be grateful for the lack of whips and chains. Conservatives have no problem with Teh Other as long as they make Whites feel good about themselves.
Childish, not very bright, permanently full of grudges. Nice way to spend your life!
@#$%. Not Gary, obviously. Unless he’s hearing voices again.
“Childish, not very bright, permanently full of grudges. Nice way to spend your life!”
UPDATE: Irony was last seen staggering through traffic on the West Side Highway, toothless, dirty, and drinking a bottle of Boone’s through a twisty straw.
…And I’m supposed to forego the joke, substituting ‘invisable accordian’ on purely technical grounds?
Dag, this is a tough crowd.
Susan – exactly, that’s what has always bothered me about it (aside from it being an all-around shitty song). There’s these two superficial people who are both looking to fuck around on each other, which is no wonder since they’ve never bothered to get to know one another well enough to know that they like the same trite, superficial things. No wonder they were bored – they were both boring gits.
When I see the humor what is written here, I often think, “Okay, D. Aristophanes is putting me on. There’s no way those 10 things (or the shorters) represent what was written in the article.”
After reading what D’Souza wrote, I am proven wrong yet again. Those 10 shorters perfectly represent what D’Souza said, insane though they may be. Well done, D.
Yeah, if anything DA was charitable. From his list I assumed that he meant that Hillary would figuratively destroy Obama, but it turns out that he literally believes that she will give him the ol’ Vince Foster. Lets see:
“American women should wear burkhas so the terrorists will like us”
“Democrats should nominate Hillary so that she doesn’t murder anyone”
Is this guy actually a conservative, or is he just terrified of what Republicans might do to a brown person?
[tweaked entry #10, btw]
Dinesh D’Souza is an evil motherfucker, isn’t he? He’s one of the titans of stupidity, up there with Jonah Goldberg.
I mean, really now, race riots? Are you fucking kidding me?
Dinesh D’Souza is an evil motherfucker, isn’t he? He’s one of the titans of stupidity, up there with Jonah Goldberg.
You should watch his debate with Chris Hitchens about ‘god’. D’Souza gets quite angry several times as Hitch dryly mocks him.
If I heard D’Souza use the line “I feel like a mosquito in a nudist camp, where to begin?” in a debate again, I swear I will deck him!
I am not now, have not previously been, nor will I ever be Gary Ruppert.
Thank heavens.
I recall a less-socially-evolved time when many a redneck once sported “I Don’t Know About You, But I’m Voting For The N*gger” bumper-stickers on their pickup-trucks in support of Jesse Jackson; with his amity towards Arafat & his eyebrow-raising rhymes, Jackson looked like Eldridge Cleaver compared to Obama, so methinks the “black = unelectable” meme needs to be put down like Ol’ Yeller, as it too displays all the characteristics of rabies.
If I’m not mistaken, Sturmbannfuhrer D’Souza used to be one of those freak-of-nature wannabe Nazi-Fanboy-Puds like Michael Ledeen, once not so very long ago. I believe I may’ve seen him at a debate zealously pimping the Canada-US free-trade deal, back in the late 1980s. No job too dirty for a fucking corporatist, to paraphrase William S. Burroughs.
Mr. Bean has gone berserk!
This thread has gone fairly well, hasn’t it?
Where’s your Spartacus now, Moses!
Wonder Woman wears underwear? Sigh, another childhood dream…
That’s lame.
Not even one half-assed, logic-free response to my question about how Obama is anti-American.
Or isn’t there?
If it is any comfort, Rupert Holmes crafted his own personal hell when he wrote that song.
Should we expect any less from a guy who wrote a Top 40 ballad about cannibalism?
You should watch his debate with Chris Hitchens about ‘god’. D’Souza gets quite angry several times as Hitch dryly mocks him.
I find it quite hard to believe Chris Hitchens can do anything dryly.
Where’s your Spartacus now, Moses!
Best Edward G. Robinson line. Evar.
One of the Garys, 14:48, while making otherwise valid points, mistakenly referred to Rumsfeld as a “veteran hating draft dodger”. Merely for the sake of veracity, I’d like to correct the record. Rummy is the exception to the rule in this administration. He actually did serve in the armed forces as a Naval aviator.
He may be a detestable, power hungry, bloodthirsty freak who couldn’t plan a light breakfast if you gave him two grapefruits and a croissant, but a draft dodger he ain’t. Thankfully, he has now been consigned to the dustbin of history, and will likely never again hold any sort of public office. A day late and a dollar short, but better than nothing.
Anyway, just wanted to point that out to retain “reality-based community” status.
Also, God, D’Souza is a putz. Some part of me just wants to go all Three Stooges on his ass, mussing his hair, tweaking his nose, and slapping his face repeatedly in a decidedly unpleasant, though not terribly forceful manner while going “nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk”. I’m not going to mention what another part of me wants to do.
Well, at least we know racism is no longer a problem in this country, because D’Souza told us so.
I’m wondering just what the hell “unstable genes” are supposed to be.
I think it’s what Reed Richards makes superhero costumes from in the Marvel universe.
Thery’re what you put on over your Wonder Woman underoos.
FWIW, you actually don’t hold a Sousaphone that way. Your hands are generally at 12 and 6.
But it’s not a Sousaphone, it’s a D’Souzaphone. It’s what you get when you hold a Sousaphone funny, blow in the wrong end, call the result music and then accuse everyone else of being tone-deaf.
Actually, the D’Souzaphone is the only instrument in the orchestra that can only play one note, and yet that note is inevitably, universally wrong.
It should not be confused with the Jacuzzaphone, the only instrument designed to be played in a spa pool.
Rupert Holmes crafted his own personal hell when he wrote that song. He ditched the original lyrics, “If you like Humphry Bogart”, because he thought a random exotic-sounding drink would spice up the song. He then served out the rest of his popularity being “the pina colada guy” and getting free ones pushed on him wherever he goes.
That gives me an idea. . .
You should watch his debate with Chris Hitchens about ‘god’. D’Souza gets quite angry several times as Hitch dryly mocks him.
Where can I see that?