Shorter Lisa Fabrizio

Is Rev. Wright Right?

fabrizio200px.jpg

  • Hey, you know what? Take Rev. Wright’s inflammatory, anti-American statements, add the phrase, “and the liberals are to blame,” and they’re exactly what we’ve been saying all along!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


 

Comments: 116

 
 
 

There is a large group of people for whom it is politically expedient to keep blacks in “their place.” But these rich white folks — let’s call them limousine liberals — are those who support Barack Obama and the Democratic Party.

So, logically, if I believe a black man should be president I am keeping blacks as a group in “their place”. And thus, voting for John McCain would be sticking it to the man! Awesome!

 
 

One of Wright’s dependable mantras is that America is a country controlled by “rich, white people,” who, according to him, are doing harm to people of color.

America is a country controlled by rich, white people Republicans who are doing harm to people of color and everyone else.

There.

 
 

Yes, that was the funniest peep entry for this year. I hope someone is working on a Vitter one for next…on second thought, a peep in a diaper would be just too weird.

 
 

The fact is, if we continue to elect politicians who would use racial hatred and class envy to hold people back; who would have us shrink in fear of “chickens coming home to roost” when confronted by our enemies; or would use His name to support the killing of unborn children; we will have damned ourselves.

 
Your Uncle Bastard
 

I find it best not to accept the viewpoints of people whose faces resemble the severed horse’s head found in bed in the first Godfather movie…

 
Your Uncle Bastard
 

Gary –

Whose name again is being used? FSM? Buddha? Muhammad? Krishna? There are so many holy figures, so many different religions…

 
 

I find it best not to accept the viewpoints of people whose faces resemble the severed horse’s head found in bed in the first Godfather movie…

You mean that’s not a picture of Jesus?

 
 

I don’t understand the complaint: I thought it was an enshrined part of American discourse that you get to hate & mock America and Americans if you’re doing so for either its liberalism or their lack of sufficient conservatism?

 
 

Shalom gentlemen.

 
 

From a letter to the editor in my local paper:

“Unfortunately, too many people are reminded of the past and are wasting valuable time and energy reliving it. A classic example of this is the reminder illustrated by the political cartoon on last Thursday’s Editorial Page showing black people mistreated in various ways. The last frame in the cartoon shows a white male saying, “Where does all the anger come from?” Between this cartoon and the Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s comments, it’s no wonder why the black community feels the way they do, being reminded again and again just how bad their situation was and is. “

 
 

Don’t give up your day job, Lisa.

http://thumbsnap.com/v/sbEo93Vh.jpg

 
 

Jean Arf: In general, conservatives seem united in a sort of pomo thesis of truth: if they don’t hear about it it doesn’t exist. This is why it is especially threatening to American children to hear about sex or drugs, and why it was somehow a moral act for Bush to refuse to admit he had ever done coke or levy moral censure against his past self for it. There are literally billions of examples.

The best one, of course, is the one with England, the Abu Ghraib torturer, proclaiming her deep regret that the media spread the photos of her horrific crimes against humanity and all of the American lives the MSM’s betrayal of our troops’ right to dehumanizing BDSM cost.
You know the old adage about the only crime being to get caught? Think of that, only make it self-righteous, and you’ve got the Republicans.

I’m really hoping they implode this year and never come back. I’m tired of them fucking up my country with their preposterous bullshit.

 
 

Man, that was really hard to read. Although I think it’s nice that they led 8 year olds write for them over there.

 
 

Is there a single RenewAmerica writer who doesn’t look…off?

 
 

I wish Kenny G. would just stick to lame music.

 
 

Don’t know why that annoying “Saul” keeps defaulting next to my name. Fixed now?

 
 

On the bright side, all this talk about his reverend seems to have torpedoed the “he’s a secret muslim” meme

 
 

David Robinson:

Nightmares for the next three months, at least.

Thanks!

 
 

The fact is, the Shorter format betrays Sadly, No!s desire that all politics be clipped to typical politics and soundbytes, which hurts our democracy, especially for voters on the heartland who have a more nuanced view of politics than the limosene elites on the coast, which is what her point actually was when not condensed in the Shorter format. The truth is, this will hurt the Democrats in November.

 
 

.nemeltneg malahS

 
 

We all know where this wanton voting-for-black-people could lead to!

And when they come to march on ya
Tell ’em to make sure they got their James Brown pass
And don’t be surprised if Ali is in the White House
Reverend Ike, Secretary of the Treasure
Richard Pryor, Minister of Education
Stevie Wonder, Secretary of FINE arts
And Miss Aretha Franklin, the First Lady
Are you out there, CC?
A chocolate city is no dream
It’s my piece of the rock and I dig you, CC
God bless Chocolate City and its (gainin’ on ya!) vanilla suburbs

 
Nyarlathotep the Crawling Chaos
 

I’ll see your Tiny Tim and raise you a…

http://tinyurl.com/mlsoe

 
 

Is wordpress still fucked up?

 
 

Maybe they should change the site’s name to Renuzit America. They could certainly use some air freshener over there.

 
 

I prefer “Febreze”.

 
 

Fabrizio:

We used to salute as “Captains of Industry,” risk-takers who invested their own money in order to found solid companies which used their profits to create jobs for all classes of people. These men drove the machine that fueled the American dream.

Of course, the people driving the actual machines that fueled the robber barons’ wealth were children and permanently indentured immigrants. It’s probably central to her point.

 
 

Why are you making fun of that poodle?

 
 

She uses a lot of words just to say God hates liberals. But if God hates liberals so much, why was Jesus one?

 
 

“…let’s call them limousine liberals…” Is she claiming to have just made up that? George Wallace used it in 1968!

 
 

Let’s just refer to them as, ohhhh, just a term off the top of my head- MARXISTS! Brilliant! I’m so awesome! Where’s my wingnut welfare! I’ve ever got a book title- Liberals Are Actually Marxists. Haven’t thought up a 70-word subtitle yet. Maybe that’s when the welfare kicks in.

 
 

That is one huge fucking forehead.

 
 

God damn it.

Cafe press just ate my brilliant comment.

Shorter me: what a lovely combination of Ayn Rand and George Will, except without the actual command of, y’know, words.

 
 

Why are you making fun of that poodle?

It was one of those noodle-eating poodles.

 
 

Mommy, why is that man in the picture dressed like a lady?

 
 

There is absolutely no excuse for these people beyond an Ann Althouse excuse: it is written as humor.

Because I’m refusing to see it written in any other way at this point. RenewAmerica is a satirist site that tops anything Jon Swift could or has done. They are legends of satire!

Please? oh, damnit, make it so!

 
 

It’s not like they’re making an argument or discusssing pros and cons. It’s political porn. It makes them feel so good to stroke old grievences, and release a little tension by insulting liberals.

 
 

The fact is, I don’t know what’s going on here, but there is a picture of an ugly Jamie-Lee Curtis at the top of this thread.

 
 

#

NutellaonToast said,

March 27, 2008 at 15:43

On the bright side, all this talk about his reverend seems to have torpedoed the “he’s a secret muslim” meme

Fun fact: the DHIMMITUDE ALART contingent earnestly believes that Jesse Jackson is part of the black conspiracy to advance the global Caliphate.

I’m not sure how they think this works either. A simple answer might be that they figure it’s less work to contrive up a way to hate blacks *and* Muslims than it would be to abandon hating the former to focus on the latter.

 
 

It’s not like they’re making an argument or discusssing pros and cons. It’s political porn. It makes them feel so good to stroke old grievences, and release a little tension by insulting liberals.

Al Franken makes this point in Lies & The Lying Liars Who Tell Them. It’s a good one and needs to get made more.

I mean, we all enjoy political porn, but I’ve actually got a praxis outside of abusing the fucking righties. They just want to kill us and trod our civilization underfoot.

 
 

Goes to show, Rev Wright was not condemning America, but the American government. Even there, he allowed that “governments change.”

But conservatives belch out the loudest and most obnoxious criticism of America whenever they perceive someone, somewhere in THEIR sandbox is gay, green, liberal, or just plain happy.

 
 

I hope that Barack Obama wins the Demonrat nomination because he is by far the weaker of the two socialist candidates. He is currently tied with John McCain in Massachussets which is the most liberal state in the Union. If he can’t even beat McCain in the Peoples Republic of Taxachussets what makes you think he’s even electable? He is currently trailing McCain in New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Minnesota all vital swing states and he is also losing to McCain by double digits in Ohio another Right leaning swing state. If Obamas’s doing this poorly in solid blue states and vital swing states that proves what we on the Right always expected. HE’S TOAST!

 
 

I hope that Barack Obama wins the Demonrat nomination because he is by far the weaker of the two socialist candidates.

Weren’t you explaining the other day how you were a “Christian socialist” yourself, and complaining about people being rude to you?

Guess you were just full of shit. Oh, and if you believe those polling numbers for Massachusetts and elsewhere will stay that way, this must be the first presidential election you’ve been old enough to follow. How cute.

 
 

Shalom.

 
 

I had you leftards thinking I was a lib along didn’t I?

Of course I’m a Conservative, I have a brain and a job. Two things that seem to be seriously lacking on the left.

You leftards are niave, you would have to be to believe that national health care and strength through peace would actually work.

 
 

Matt, you’re a fucking moron.

Sincerely,
A liberal who makes more money than you, so suck it

 
 

BA-LACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: SCANDALOUS DARKY

 
 

I’d just like to point out that ‘leftards’ is a really, really stupid usage. It begs for ‘rightard’, which makes a lot more sense. But then again, if thinking things out were your forte you wouldn’t be a conservative.

 
 

This troll’s lame. Can we throw him back and get another?

 
 

I predict that Obama is going to lose the election by a 49 state landslide just like Walter Mondale in 1984.

McCain will probably win every state except for Obama’s homestate of Illionis, and even that will be a close call as I doubt the traditionalists in rural Illionis will vote for Obama.

 
 

I predict that most people will fill up the gas tank on the way to the voting booth and vote out whoever is in office. The way they always do when bad economic times hit.

It’s the economy, stupid.

 
 

Someone in the front office thought they could bring this troll up from the farm league to play in the majors.

 
 

the one thing that all the trolls have in common is that everytime they say “I predict” you can always be sure it won’t happen.

 
 

Thats because predictions are supposed to be based on something a little more substantial than “I really really REALLY want this to happen”.

The old man called it betting with your heart instead of with your head…

mikey

 
 

Can I comment yet? I’ve lost a surfeit of craptacular comments, from one pointing out that liberal traitors are more interested in touching the Assland than the Heartland(with both hands, even), to one expressing my fervent wish that the lady with the fivehead here never breeds with Lileks(Dear God, sometimes I hate being a vividly visual thinker), all vanished into the ether while Matt McMahonBoy(also know as MAMBLA) has shown up to high five himself over his fabulous coup of being mistaken for a liar and a troll when ACTUALLY HE WAS A LIAR AND A TROLL ALL THE TIME SO EAT IT LEFTOIDS.

 
 

That’s no Lisa Fabbrizio…that’s a MAN, man!

 
 

We all knew you were a troll, Matt McMahon. Dumb, too.

 
 

The fact is, one Gary Ruppert is plenty. Why someone out there would percieve the need for two Gary clones is beyond me.

 
 

This troll’s lame. Can we throw him back and get another?

I think he’s the latest incarnation of Saul, the personification of lameness. But whoever he is, he just developed an appetite for pie.

Is wordpress still fucked up?

Yes, goddammit.

 
 

Matt is either Kevin or Saul, who may be the same person anyway.

 
 

@Sniper – I see your Parliament and I raise you a Curtis Mayfield:

Sister!
Niggers!
Whiteys!
Jews!
Crackers!
If there’s a hell below, we’re all gonna go!

 
 

No, you had us thinking you were either a liar or an idiot. As it turns out, you’re both. If you were only an idiot, well, idiots can learn.

You leftards are niave, you would have to be to believe that national health care and strength through peace would actually work.

Wow, two straw-men, inappropriate conflation, misspelling and terrible sentence structure. You must be a product of home-schooling, or under the legal driving age.

Honestly, from your first comment, it was clear you had no idea what an actual Liberal or Progressive is. All you’ve ever put up, now or when you were pretending to be the ‘most liberal’ were pathetic straw-men, narrow distorted characatures of actual positions. Liberals aren’t interested in dismantling the police and replacing them with “conflict resolution squads”; we like law and order, we just have a problem with inconsistent and unethical application of it.

If you want to argue against our positions, maybe you should actually learn what our positions are! Otherwise, go back to playing with your straw men.

 
 

DJ Excel takes an anti-Obama rant and runs wit it.

 
 

Otherwise, go back to playing with your straw men.

Just to be on the safe side, maybe someone should explain to Matt that “straw man” isn’t a euphemism for “cock”.

 
 

Ha! Suck it, LIE-bruls! I know all you really want is gay sex abortions on socialized medicine!!!1!

 
 

Just to be on the safe side, maybe someone should explain to Matt that “straw man” isn’t a euphemism for “cock”.

Man, wouldn’t the cock called “straw man” be the most depressing cock of all time.

 
 

Matt McMahon said,
March 27, 2008 at 19:33

I predict that Obama is going to lose the election by a 49 state landslide just like Walter Mondale in 1984.

I predict John W. McCheney will be in nursing home by January 2009, where Matt McMahonBoyLove will be changing his poopy-diapers for minimum wage.

 
 

I predict that in 2011 elephants will develop space flight and land on Mars.

 
 

I predict that Obama will win the general election, but be forced, by a 5 to 4 Supreme Court decision, to wear little pants with big buttons to all official state functions.

 
 

Perhaps Matt would like a visit from the law firm of Bagg, Oh, and Dix. I hear they also have pie.

 
 

Matt doesn’t need pie. He has his girlfriend to make him happy.

 
 

The fact is, you liberals are divorced from reality and have no grasp of facts at all.

 
 

Facts have a well known liberal bias.

 
 

I predict that in 2011 elephants will develop space flight and land on Mars.

Let’s just hope there aren’t any mice up there, cause that’d be a disaster!

 
 

Facts are just opinions, shouted repeatedly and really loudly.

 
Satan's Dirty Underwear
 

I’m not sure how they think this works either

Shut up. that’s how.

 
 

WHAT?!?!?! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!?!?!

WHAT?!?!?! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!?!?!

WHAT?!?!?! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!?!?!

 
 

If I”m divorced from reality, where’s my alimony?

 
 

I gayborted Reality’s baby. Then we threw an angry party to celebrate.

 
 

Gaybortion would be a good name for a band.

 
 

Popped on over to the article on my lunch break and though “Wow, she’s just leaping from one emotional outburst to the other”. And then I looked over the banner roll to see “Alan Keyes For President,” “Survivor of the Abortion Holocaust,” “The Minuteman Project,” and three books about Terry Schaivo and it was like realizing that there’s been a huge fucking bug on your arm for the past five minutes.

Couldn’t claw my way to the Back button fast enough.

 
 

I’m an Aborted Again Liberal and proud of it.

 
 

Let’s just hope there aren’t any mice up there, cause that’d be a disaster!

Actually, I think it all turned out rather well.

 
 

I think conservatives resent being born. Living in the womb was like living in the basement, but Mom didn’t make you take out the garbage. No wonder they’re so fond o’ the fetus.

 
 

Off topic, I know, but I writing a book (been working on it for eighteen years!), and I would like to try out a possible title on the group here. I have called it “Liberal Plantar Fasciitis, the Secret History of Left Leaning Podiatrists, from Isabella Rossellini to Billy Barty”

Catchy, no?

 
 

Susan of Texas, I know I resent them being born . . .

 
 

I find your lack of cookies… disturbing.
Also I hate you all.

 
 

SoT: They resent everything else, after all.

 
 

Survivor of the Abortion Holocaust

Wow, what these people do, crawl out of the medical waste bin and into the parking lot, where the protestors could smuggle them home and hide them in secret rooms in case the Gestapo came in the night? I would totally buy that book, but Misha Defonseca ruined the whole genre for me.

 
 

zeppo I would have enthusiastic things to say about your book if it weren’t for WordPress

 
 

I’ve actually got a praxis outside
We only have a Mitsubishi out in the street, which is nothing to boast about.

 
 

Thorlac said,
Perhaps Matt would like a visit from the law firm of Bagg, Oh, and Dix. I hear they also have pie.

That’s not a law firm! That’s the less-than-lovable Stereotypical Closeted Gay Irish Leprechan, Baggie O’Dicks! He’s the spokesperson for the not-so-popular frosted breakfast cereal of the same name. “They’re after me, Baggie O’Dicks!”

I’d work on lyrics for the commercial jingle, but that might be going a little too far.

 
 

No it wouldn’t.

 
 

She looks like Sir Robin after a shave.

Where are her minstrels? Did they eat them during the very cold winter to prove there was no such thing as global warming?

And there was much rejoicing.

 
 

He’s the spokesperson for the not-so-popular frosted breakfast cereal of the same name.

Makes its own gravy, just add milk!

 
 

Baggie O’Dicks! He’s the spokesperson for the not-so-popular frosted breakfast cereal of the same name. “They’re after me, Baggie O’Dicks!”

They’re magically dicklicious!

 
Satan's Dirty Underwear
 

I’d work on lyrics for the commercial jingle, but that might be going a little too far.

What, in this joint? You’re kidding, right?

 
 

I though Matt was too earnest. Turns out he is Earnest.

If you’re going to pretend to be a strawliberal, why pretend to be a Christian one? Why not pretend you’re a Ba’al worshiper instead?

 
 

frosty bag ‘o dick! They gargly delicious!

Now in Republican flavor, with special marshmallow shapes:
*White bathroom stalls
*Pink pistols used by roaming lesbian gangs
*Scary brown people
*Purple wetsuits
*and reassuringly undersized black dicks!

Makes its own gravy, just add milk!
…actually, you have to stir it pretty vigourously for a few minutes…

 
 

Captains Of Industry?
Limosine Liberals?
Tell this, uh, creature that it’s not 1915 OR 1955, please.

“Obama will lose like Mondale”?!?
Dude, seriously, you need to chop those rails a mite thinner – you’ll pop a ventricle.

The obvious respsonse to “I’m a Conservative – I have a job & a brain”? Other than SADLY, NO, I mean …….

So do I … & mine are BOTH useful – which is why I’m not one.

Thank Daddy for the job, & try occaisionally USING the brain for more than a hatrack, you clown … don’t be scared, it won’t bite.

How do such obviously hate-filled wankers keep citing a Jesus they’d happily beat to a pulp if he came back to Earth & spoke English? Your raging cognitive dissonance – let me show you it.

Come on – “love ye one another” – if THAT’s not radically progressive, what is?

Oh, & any douche-nozzle that cites the Bible while advocating pre-emptive wars & legalizing torture has earned themselves the right to shut the hell up, indefinitely. Find a neuron to keep the other 4 company if you can’t figure out why.

 
 

You know, I think I went to high school with Baggie O’Dicks. We played on the football team together. You mean he was…. a LEPRECHAN?!? That’s disgusting!

Gawd, and to think that he used to slap me on the butt….. He had to reach really high, however.

 
 

Faith and begorra! I’m feeling I’ve stepped into a community theatre production of “Finian’s Rainbow!”

——————————————————————————–
Senator Billboard Rawkins: You’ve been violating the law, here.
Finian McLonergan: Since when?
Senator Billboard Rawkins: This afternoon. I just finished drafting this.
Senator Billboard Rawkins: [reading] Local ordinance number 7428: be it known that in the county of Rainbow Valley, it is a felony for members of the Caucasian and Negro races…
Finian McLonergan: But it seems to me that this law could not be a legal law…
Senator Billboard Rawkins: Of course it’s legal! I don’t know where you immigrants get these radical, foreign ideas!
Sharon McLonergan: From a wee book the immigration officer handed us. It’s called ‘The United States Constitution.’
Finian McLonergan: Haven’t you read it?
Senator Billboard Rawkins: I don’t have time to read it, I’m too busy defending it!

 
 

Boy, shades of D’Souza saying that bin Ladin guy had it right.

 
 

Grrrdamnit. Now I can’t get this out of my mind.

Baggie O’Dicks! Baggie O’Dicks!
Better than Cheerios!
Better than Trix!

If it’s not Baggie O’Dicks in your bowl
There’s no O’Dicks going down your hole!

Fill up on Baggie O’Dicks — ‘coming’ to a breakfast near you!

(I want to die now)

 
 

Baggie O’Dicks! They’re full of protien!

Baggie O’Dicks! Filling and lean!

Baggie O’Dicks! Open wide!

Baggie O’Dicks! Tasty inside!

 
 

Well now my cow-orkers are wondering what I’m sniggering about over here.

 
 

Thanks to my Sadly, No! reading habits, no one can read any blogs at work any more.

Now we have a net-nanny.

!@&*#&#^!11eleven!

 
 

Is it just me or does her pic look like it was photoshopped using the church-stainglass-image tool (which doesn’t exist, but um….). Why wingnuts bother to airbrush themselves is beyond my understanding.

 
 

I TRICKED YOU ALL! TO THE VICTORYMOBILE!

 
 

EEK! What IS that?

 
 

You all are so shallow. Can’t you look beneath the surface and see the true inner ugliness?

 
 

I don’t know who that dude is, but someone should tell him that hairstyle makes him look like a chick.

 
 

Y’all need to stop ragging on Piper Laurie up there.

She was damn good in Carrie.

 
 

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