Oh, Jesus…

obamanwa.jpg

ABOVE: Conservatives imagine a new dialogue on race


The Ole Perfesser recommends this fine piece of nonsense that defends Old Punk’s noxious rant by saying that it was really no different than… wait for it… a Chris Rock comedy routine! No, really:

And the thing is, I did read Old Punk’s posts: both his original one and the response to his critics. And I watched the Chris Rock video. And the same thing struck me, as I watched, and read.

Almost any conversation about race in America is bound to be filled with comforting platitudes and if it isn’t; if it starts to stray into the raw, honest territory Barack Obama says he wants us to venture into, things get uncomfortable mighty fast. Things will be said that make us cringe, on both sides of the fence. And when that happens, we need to be extremely careful about making reflexive accusations of racism.

Because we cannot ever, really, know what is in someone else’s heart, merely by looking at the color of their skin. If we do presume to know that, aren’t we indulging in… well, racism?

What I saw, when I watched that Chris Rock video, and when I read Old Punk’s posts, was two sides of the same coin.

It didn’t take a genius to see the compassion beneath the anger, in both cases.

Golly!

Question: do you know what the first thing Chris Rock says in his infamous “n-word” routine? That’s right: he says that he loves black people. Old Punk, on the other hand, says that while he does “not hate black people,” he is “sick to death of black people as a group.” And what did black people do to him to garner this revulsion? Did they beat him up? Harass him on his way home from work? Why, no! Apparently all they’ve done to tick Mr. Punk off is to wear “tee shirts down to their knees — and jeans belted just above their knees,” which makes him “want to smack them.” They also drive cars that he disapproves of. Oh, and he also suspects that black people are really “a secret society, a massive collection of sleeper cells just waiting for your chance to do serious harm to the rest of us.”

This is significantly different than what Chris Rock was saying in his monologue! Mr. Punk is not merely trashing the self-destructive aspects of hip-hop “thug” culture that Chris Rock and Aaron McGruder capably satirize on a regular basis! He’s saying that he’s “sick of black people as a group” and implying that they’re all terrorists! Can we not see the difference here! Do not make me break out my chart again!

It gets better:

I understand the impulse that makes people want to use the word ‘nigger’. One seeks, by altering our instinctive associations with that word, to lessen the pain it invokes. That is why many blacks object when whites use the term, yet utter it themselves with careless abandon.

Note to Cassandra: it’s perfectly acceptable for people to make fun of people within their own race or ethnic group. Haven’t you ever wondered how Woody Allen and Mel Brooks get away with telling all those Jewish jokes? Ding, that’s right! Because they’re Jews! Similarly, I can trash white people all I want without it being bigoted; hell, when I’m not blogging, I insist that my friends call me Honky McCrackerlips.

Ugh, I can’t believe this is so hard to understand.


UPDATE: And let me take this opportunity as a white guy to forthrightly renounce and reject the band Creed, who have done more to damage the music reputation of white people than any band since Stryper.

 

Comments: 326

 
 
Chlamydia Champaigne
 

The fact is, Heh. Indeed.

 
 

It is the conservatives who are the racists with their opposition to affirmative action. Blacks have been persecuted for centuries therefore the playing field needs to be leveled. In fact affirmative action should be with quotas so that all of America can be represented in any and every work force.

 
 

Abraham Lincoln once said, if you are a racist, I will attack you with the North.

 
 

All of America should be represented equally in every work force I should have added.

 
 

See, white people vote like this, and black people vote like this. It’s funny ’cause it’s true!

And this new troll seems oddly familiar.

 
 

I insist that my friends call me Beaner McWetback.

 
 

MM is going to get really annoying, isn’the?

 
 

Every day that Chris Rock gets home from….whatever the hell it is that Chris Rock does all day, he sits down and silently weeps for coming up with this bit and thus giving every white racist asshole an excuse for continuing to be a white racist asshole. Of course, he does this while sitting in a chair made of solid gold, while nubile, topless young ladies feed him grapes but…still. He’s weeping, that’s the point.

 
 

I goaded the OldFart into adding an entire second post to try to explain his first one, simply by dissecting/translating the first one in the comments section. He still can’t grasp that having a different fashion sense or taste in automobiles isn’t a sufficient reason to go around shouting “NIGGER!!!” at other people.

 
 

Why does some people here consider me a troll I’m a liberal in fact I’m a Christian Socialist. I support national healh care, a progressive income tax, full government paid welfare for any Americans who can’t work or take care of themselves, free public education (minus the secular component), social security, amnesty for undocumented immigrants, free college scholarships for all Americans. I may agree with conservatives on abortion and same sex marriage, however I also believe that capital punishment is immoral and should be abolished, I support abolshing the police force and replacing it with community activists trained in conflict prevention, I also believe the Iraq war is unjustified genocide and that the Chimperor and Darth Cheney should be impeached. Still want to accuse me of being a troll?

 
 

I guess that makes me Faggy McBathhouserson!

 
 

Stryper? Holy shit, ya went and did it now.

As for music, I prefer it plain, and simple, and beautifully and creatively done … to wit ….

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1762893

 
North Dakota is for PUSSIES
 

Ha ha, let them continue. Don’t say a word, just let all the bitter impotent old farts (McCain not included) rant and rave.

You see they were brought up in a time when crackers could push around the black kids in high school. They thought it was funny.

Now their own grandkids know the words to the latest Soldja Boy song, and that’s what really upsets them; they got to watch their dreams of a whyte power majority get drowned out by hip hop.

Talk about sweet revenge

 
 

I also believe that wars don’t just start out of thin air, they happen because the government and the military industrial complex want them. Therefore I think the military should be abolished and when it is other nations will follow our example.

 
 

Let’s start a conversation about conversations about race. Join my Redneck Roundtable discussion here:

http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/blognroll/23732

 
 

Matt- I think the troll label is applied because what you are saying sounds so hyperbolic that it seems like a conservative is mocking us.

If you really believe that strongly in Affirmative Action I think you’ll even catch flack for those views at this DFH haven.

BTW – Do you know anyone named Saul?

 
Principal Blackman
 

The only thing Ole Perfesser and InstaPunk hate more than racism is black people.

 
 

Dammit!

Left the old straw-man hanging out again…

 
 

So this pretty much makes the Ole Perfesser Michael Scott from The Office, does it not?

 
 

I don’t comment here very often because I don’t have the wit to keep up . However I do have a functioning brain stuck in low gear, it gets up to speed eventually. My first reaction to Matt M. is that he is an amalgam of every character June Allyson played in the movies: syrupy!

 
 

I really do believe in affirmative action. I think blacks have been persecuted in this country for hundreds of years. First slavery then segregation and now work place discrimination. They need to be treated with respect. They are human beings after all.

 
Chlamydia Champaigne
 

Say my name!!

 
 

In fact, Saul Matt, you sound…odd.

 
 

“I don’t comment here very often because I don’t have the wit to keep up.”

Same here. This place can be pretty intimidating. The vodka helps, though.

 
 

Okay, that’s it.

As a communist, I am declaring a memoratium on right-wing white guys watching anything comedic written for and/or by black people since let’s say the 1970s.

They clearly don’t understand the point, and they’re ruining it for everyone else.

 
 

Guys I’ve been a member of the Amercan Socialist Party my entire adult life. I voted for David McReynolds in 2004. If you don’t know who he is google his name.

 
 

Jacob, the vodka may help, but then I end up looking like the photo of mikey that he posted in an earlier thread.

 
 

But your tone is identical to certain bridge under-wellers, and you are a hyperbolic self-parody.

C’mon, Saul, where’s my, “Shalom, Gentlemen”?

 
 

That’s nice. You’re…kind of stupid. Well-meaning, perhaps, but…stupid.

 
Pansy McTeabagger
 

And I get to call people faggot. neener neeener neener

 
 

I don’t think Barrack Obama is leftwing enough. He doesn’t support abolishing the military and I’m pretty sure he supports the death penalty.

 
 

under-weller

See, guys, its not intimidating commenting around here.

You just have to have absolutely no shame like me or our old buddy Saul here.

 
 

Yeah, you’re a troll. Still stupid though.

 
 

yes t4toby but I have noticed you seem to have several distinct personalities!

 
 

I bet Matt shouts Surrender Dorothy! whenever he climaxes.

 
 

Whos Saul and why do you think I’m him? Read my post at 0:02 I explained my political beliefs there. I’m probably one of the most liberal members of this blog.

 
 

I actually wish I were gay so I could call things that I don’t like “gay” ironically.

 
Chlamydia Champaigne
 

I actually wish I were gay so I could call things that I don’t like “gay” ironically.

It’s a lot of fun.

Wha-PSSHH!!

 
 

…one of most liberal members of this blog.
hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

 
Satan's Dirty Underwear
 

Many SNers have multiple personalities. We are large. We contain multitudes.

With me it’s only cause I’m off my meds.

Gary 2.1 on the other hand….

 
 

I insist that my friends call me Beaner McWetback.

I guess that makes me Faggy McBathhouserson!

I guess I’ll change my name to Nihilist DontBelieveInJackson

 
 

If the military were abolished all other countries would follow our example and then their would be world peace.

 
 

t4, if I could create one of those winking emoticon things I would. Since I am unable to do so will you settle for a knowing nod of the head?

 
 

I always link my different personalities to my blog for, er, clarity.

cough Blogwhore cough

 
 

Sh@lom, gentlemen.

 
 

I demand all my friends call me Whitey McLeninstein.

 
 

what has Matt M. been smoking? Maybe he is off his meds too.

 
 

Guys I’m a liberal. Is this how you treat one of your own?

 
 

Its just Saul. He comes pre-unbalanced.

 
 

Ahem. Let’s revisit one of Old Punk’s key points.

(ignorant)
“I just feel the need to point out that Senator Obama is just as white as he is black.”
(/ignorant)

Um, I don’t know exactly where Old Punk’s from or resides, but I’m going to guess that he/she’s not from the Deep South. Because down heah, among some folks, there’s absolutely no such thing as being part white, y’all. You’re either white or you’re not. If you’re of mixed race (assuming that one of the races in question is Caucasian), you’re not white.

Oh, wait, let’s jump forward to Old Punk’s next graf and see what we can find.

(ignorant)
“You’re not just speaking from a reference-point of ignorance, stereotyping and fear, right?”
(/ignorant)

Well, I can’t speak for this Jennifer person to whom the Old Punk appears to be addressing himself/herself, but I’m pretty sure that someone in that thread is speaking from such a reference point.

 
 

Just about everyone around here is a liberal, but none but you and a couple of other choice ‘personalities’ write in the same style as Saul, our resident cat turd.

 
 

there is probably not a psychotropic cocktail available to balance Saul.

 
 

Not to mention we liberals fucking trademarked The Circular Firing Squad.

 
 

As a lifelong liberal and democrat, I am a little concerend about the rancour and disagreement between the candidates, and the fact that one is a black man and another a woman. They also talk in weasel words and lie alot. I don’t think either can win the heartland, unless they reach out and start to talk a language the silent minority grass roots can relate to. I’m afraid that I may have to vote for McCain, because at least he talks straight and tells it like it is and will keep us safe from terror. Just sayin

 
 

Please expain to me how mine and Saul’s style of writing are similar?

 
 

“I don’t think Barrack Obama is leftwing enough. He doesn’t support abolishing the military and I’m pretty sure he supports the death penalty.”

Yeah, he’s quite a right-winger. But hey,

Right-wingers Need Love Too
Dr BLT copyRIGHT 2008
http://www.drblt.net/music/rightwingers.mp3

 
saul, the disco genie
 

SHAZAM!!111!!11, gentlemen.

 
 

Oh Saul you showed up. Explain to me why everyone thinks I’m you?

 
 

personally, i don’t believe in christians.

 
 

Damn, Saul/Kevin/Gary2.1!

You’re on a roll today.

I’m saying it right now:

Voting for McCain instantly makes you an untoward fuckstick.

That is all.

 
 

Good Christ, trolls everywhere! Hey “Concerned Democrat” – you’re not fooling anyone. You also smell like horse urine.

 
 

Ok guys. I mean it now. Who is Saul, and how are mine and his styles similar? If you keep being rude to me I won’t post here anymore. I’ll just go to another leftwing blog where I’ll be appreciated.

 
 

That’s the best idea you’ve had all day.

 
 

This has been a very entertaining day.

 
 

I’ll just go to another leftwing blog where I’ll be appreciated.

Don’t let the straw-door hit you in the straw-ass on your way out, buddy.

 
 

Most of us will settle for fair treatment. Using difference to rationalize away inequity is wrong.

 
 

Well, that’ll be a loss.

Also, we have not yet begun to be rude to you.

 
 

Oh, thanks for the warm welcome, and the reasoned debate and openness toward other viewpoints. I am starting to wonder why I ever liked leftwingers, when they are this rude.

 
 

All of a sudden I have a hankering for some strawberries.

 
Chlamydia Champaigne
 

SHAZAM!!111!!11, gentlemen.

Can’t remember the name of it, but that’s the best disco song EVAR!

 
 

No way he’s for real…

I support national healh care…
…I may agree with conservatives on abortion

Hmm… no contradiction there. National health care, but only for things I don’t find icky!

But do you agree with conservatives on access to birth-control, and comprehensive sex education in public schools? I think you might, which means you’re in the “health care for me, but not for thee” category of BS artists.

I may agree with conservatives on abortion and same sex marriage…I support abolshing the police force

So you think abortion should be a crime, but you don’t think there should be any police to enforce it?
Do you agree with conservatives about sodomy laws? Because the only way your ideal “conflict prevention action squad” can prevent abortion and consensual sodomy is through a rather agressive invasion of privacy.

I also believe the Iraq war is unjustified genocide…

I think most folks were undecided between “deliberatly hyperbolic” or “ignorant idiot”, but this decided it for me. Go read up on what the Turks did, and how they did it, then re-read your WWII history, then go look at Darfur and the Sudan. Then, if your little head isn’t too stuffed with information, read up on the ethnic divisions in Iraq. There are many atrocious things about the U.S. occupation of Iraq, but genocide isn’t one of them. Like Doughy Pantload throwing around the word “facism”, claiming genocide while hyperventilating only serves to weaken legitimate uses of the term.

I also believe that wars don’t just start out of thin air, they happen because the government and the military industrial complex want them. Therefore I think the military should be abolished and when it is other nations will follow our example.

Allow me to diagram your statement in classical logical structure, and see if you can spot the problem:

If A, then B.
Not-B, therefore PurpleMonkeyDishwasher

If the military were abolished all other countries would follow our example and then their would be world peace.

It’s really breathtaking to see such rank ignorance of world history. Who knew that it would only take three generations to forget all memory of a time before standing armies? Cubby, a standing military is a modern convention, but wars are ancient. As for dismantling your army so everyone else will follow suit, go look at the Imperial history of China and see how well that worked.

I’m probably one of the most liberal members of this blog.

Except for those whole “gays are second-class citizens” and “fan of forced pregnancy” things, I’m sure you’re a great liberal! Actually, I think you’re a fantastic liberal when it comes you your rights. I’m guessing you’re a nice shade of pale white, like chicks, and will never become pregnant or menstruate.

I kinda like this troll… slow-witted enough that it makes me look learned.

 
 

As one of the most liberal members of this blog, and totally not Saul, I demand that you all stop being so rude to MM.

 
 

As one of the most liberal members of this blog

[Pushes Legalize off the podium]

Ha! Now I’M the MOST liberal!!!

 
 

Nah.

 
 

This is your Sadly, No! on drugs.

It’s like when you get that s l o w acid and you’re pretty sure you’re trippin but the world is really a lot like the regular world but then you notice everything looks like “Leave it to Beaver” and you go “phew, at least the shit worked” but then you go “oh shit, this had all the trappings of a really weird experience” so you drive to the beach as fast as you dare listening to Archers of Loaf all the way.

I mean, that’s happened to you, right?

mikey

 
Mehitabel the Abyssinian
 

yes t4toby but I have noticed you seem to have several distinct personalities!
However, none of them are feline, which makes t4toby a mere beginner.

 
 

Dude, go smoke another.

We’re just getting started.

 
 

Hehe, I predict that this thread turns into the ending of Blazing Saddles any minute now.

 
 

Oh, thanks for the warm welcome, and the reasoned debate and openness toward other viewpoints. I am starting to wonder why I ever liked leftwingers, when they are this rude.

Your point of view is hackier and more trite than ten thousand Gallagher comedy specials. “I won’t vote for Hills or Barry O because I hate bitches and negroes! John McCain will save us from the scary terrorists! Watch me smash this watermelon!”

 
Satan's Dirty Underwear
 

I TOLD you the google is your friend. Dinn I? DIDNN I? Why do you ask questions if you don’t pay attention to the answer? How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?

google (type it exactly as shown including the quotation marks [“] )
“saul said” site:sadlyno.com

Keerist. Wait a minit….. mark?

 
 

” … if it starts to stray into the raw, honest territory … things get uncomfortable mighty fast.”

Yeah, it’s gonna get REAL uncomfortable for crackers like him in the first place.

 
 

Except for the beach and the Archers, yes.

Oh and I never drive quickly on hallucinogens.

 
 

Good work. Keep marginalizing centrists like myself and Matt McMahon, and keep losing votes. Keep driving middle America away from your candidates with rediculous policies that will never work. The far left approach will only isolate you. But I guess you deserve it.

 
 

Oh and I never drive quickly on hallucinogens.

You’ve got to stop and rose the smellses once in a while.

 
 

Oh noes, a John McCain supporter is going to abandon us! Whatever shall we do?

 
 

Did they beat him up? Harass him on his way home from work? Why, no!

Don’t you mean Sadly, no!?

 
 

Not really. See, what you’re afraid of is if we don’t cater to your needs, you’ll be exposed as the useless pissflaps you are. Us, we already know you’re useless, not even as idiots, so we don’t need you.

 
 

rediculous

Dude, its Gary2.0

 
 

Shalom and greetings.

The truth is, you liberals are just idiots full of hate. Here in the heartland, where we see through MSM bias, we vote for G-d and Country. You are g-dless heathens without any logic and facts, therefore=fail.

 
 

Keep marginalizing centrists like myself and Matt McMahon

Dude, he called himself a socialist… In the great Venn Diagram of politics, there is next to no overlap between “Socialist” and “Centrist.”

Centrists. Hmph.

(Wanders off, singing “Arise, ye prisoners of moderation…”)

 
 

Keep marginalizing centrists like myself and Matt McMahon, and keep losing votes.

If John McCain wins I blame everybody in this thread except for centrists like Matt and Concerned.

 
Satan's Dirty Underwear
 

if A, then B.
Not-B, therefore PurpleMonkeyDishwasher

Shouldn’t that be “therefore Purple-assed baboon?” I just recall something from somewhere about modus ponens and purple-assed baboons.

 
 

The fact is, liberals hate facts. Reality exposes them as the vermin they are.

 
 

If John McCain wins, I blame Jack Skellington, the Halloween King.

Makes about as much logical sense.

 
 

God Saul, your sock puppets are just sad. I mean, at least try to make them seem like real people.

 
 

Righteous Bubba said,

March 26, 2008 at 0:46

This has been a very entertaining day.

Except for the work part.

For our next assignment, let’s compare Creed to the BeeGees.

 
 

O/T racist rant alert:

First, America has been the best country on earth for black folks.

Black folks? Really?

Stay classy, Pat Buchanan!

 
 

As a lifelong liberal and democrat, I am a little concerend about …the fact that one is a black man and another a woman.

BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Nice. As a lifelong liberal, you’re concerned that one of our candidates is black and the other is a woman. But you’re a democrat! Really!

I don’t think either can win the heartland, unless they reach out and start to talk a language the silent minority grass roots can relate to.

‘the heartland’? Gary, is that you? We’ve missed you so!

As for ‘the silent minority’, well, after the last 8 years, if they’re not willing to speak up and be heard, let me be the first to say fuck them! Seriously, fuck them in their stupid asses. “Silent majorities” don’t speak, and they don’t vote, and they can just fuck right off. If 8 years of Enron, WorldCom, Abu Ghrave, Afghanistan, the Patriot Act, no-fly lists, liquid bans on flights, 4000 dead U.S. soldiers, a veternarian being appointed head of Women’s Health Services, Scooter Libby’s pardon, a booming deficit, a shrinking middle class, and a looming recession aren’t enough to get people to stand up & speak for themselves, well, I guess they’ll just have to be “good Americans”.

I’m afraid that I may have to vote for McCain, because at least he talks straight and tells it like it is and will keep us safe from terror.

What’s neat is how totally upside down everything in that sentance is…
I’m afraid that I may have to vote for McCain… no you’re not. You’re looking forward to voting for him
he talks straight… Al-Queda, Iran? Abortion rights? Religious fanatics in the U.S.?
tells it like it is… His knowledge of economics? His position on allowing the U.S. to torture? His support for Rumsfeld?
will keep us safe from terror By keeping us in Iraq for 100 years? By cozing up to the most extremist factions of Christianity in the U.S.? By continuing to let Afghanistan fall back into the hands of the Taliban? By snubbing the U.N.?

Come on Gary, we know it’s you. Welcome back home!

 
 

600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known.

No. He. Di’nt.

 
 

Oh and I never drive quickly on hallucinogens.
T4toby leaves no turn unstoned.

 
Satan's Dirty Underwear
 

er, “saul,” you forgot to change you name. That’s the Gary 1.7 output.

 
 

I insist that people call me Mickey Mc….Mickerson.

Shit. Doesn’t really work if you’re Irish.

 
 

Before they were worshipping, like, grass and leaves and rocks and shit. Now they worship the invisible man in the sky. That’s not just progress, that’s motherfucking evolution. White Man’s Burden 4 Life!

 
 

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

 
 

Coming this fall to FOX: Jew in the Heartland! Starring Jason Alexander as Saul the Rabbi, and Larry the Cable Guy as Joe Bob Ed Tom Heartland. Monday nights on FOX, right after 24!

 
 

no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans. Untold trillions have been spent since the ’60s on welfare, food stamps, rent supplements, Section 8 housing, Pell grants, student loans, legal services, Medicaid, Earned Income Tax Credits and poverty programs designed to bring the African-American community into the mainstream.

Is this really 2008? Or 1958?

I think the Right just declared war.

 
 

OneMan:

I thought that was the entire point of the Mc portion.

 
 

Yes. He. Did. He sent that out last week. I thought about quoting some of it here but it’s the same old shit. Nut unlike Michael Medved(ev)’s.

[yes, I subscribe to the barking moonbat newsletter. It’s usually worth a laugh, but not that one.]

 
 

Is this really 2008? Or 1958?

I think the Right just declared war.

That asshole went to my high school.

 
 

I actually wish I were gay so I could call things that I don’t like “gay” ironically.

OK. Now I’m regretting my PC outburst this morning. Forget I said anything. Jump in and have fun.

 
 

Isn’t Saul in the heartland of Falls Church, VA?

 
 

tigrismus said,

March 26, 2008 at 1:11

Isn’t Saul in the heartland of Falls Church, VA?

When he’s not being Rugged in Montana, or Gary’s undisclosed location in Indiana.

 
 

I actually wish I were gay so I could call things that I don’t like “gay” ironically.

OK. Now I’m regretting my PC outburst this morning. Forget I said anything. Jump in and have fun.

If a gay man tells me to “jump in and have fun”, I’m thinkin’ I’ll decline. Sure, I’m flattered…

 
 

i am obviously the most liberal in this site. i am to the left of a dead Bolshevik. actually, i am a mexijacobin.

 
 

Good work. Keep marginalizing centrists like myself and Matt McMahon, and keep losing votes.

Oh, noes! a Concerned Democrat will be driven into the arms of the Right by a liberal snark blog! Whatever shall we do?

 
 

Many SNers have multiple personalities. We are large. We contain multitudes.

The only 2 of my multitudes that I’m aware of are those old men hecklers from the Muppet Show. Oh, and Al Bundy.

 
 

Many SNers have multiple personalities. We are large. We contain multitudes.

I, Anne Althaus™³²®©, frown on any blog that tolerates this liberal behavior.

 
 

And let me take this opportunity as a white guy to forthrightly renounce and reject the band Creed, who have done more to damage the music reputation of white people than any band since Stryper.

What about Nickelback?

 
 

Synchronicity? Friend just alerted me to a blog I hadn’t seen before.

stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com

Somewhat amusing though I worry it will drive away votes from our radical islamohomogenda.

 
 

What about Nickelback?

On the bright side, the B-52s have a new album out!

 
 

I, on the other hand, am extremely conservative. I believe in the death penalty for everyone, except rich people and fetuses, because I am so very conservative. Yes, I dare to dream of a world containing nothing but rich white straight christian republicans waging eternal warfare using armies of fetuses, because I’m just that conservative. I am not clear why you would doubt my sincerity here.

 
 

PeeJ:

Actually, stuffwhitepeoplelike.com has a lot in common with the idiot racist rants we see these days quoting Chris Rock. Neither are really about race as much as they are about class. (“stuff yuppies like” wouldn’t get as much attention, but is probably closer to correct)

 
 

Hehe, I predict that this thread turns into the ending of Blazing Saddles any minute now.

Raisinettes!

 
 

I’m not a liberal, just a lazy radical. So while I won’t push Righteous Bubba off the pedestal, I will wait for erosion to eventually do my job for me.

 
 

I think our Kevin St. Saul needs some Fünke analysis/therapy.

 
 

Many SNers have multiple personalities. We are large.

Bubba succinctly sums up my physiological and mental dysfunctions that have cost hundred of thousands of taxpayer dollars over the decades…

mikey

 
 

Shalom, khaverim (goodbye heart)…

Saul will never be as cool as this.

 
Mehitabel the Abyssinian
 

Oh and I never drive quickly on hallucinogens.
Mikey leaves no turn unstoned…

 
 

Raisinettes!

Hmph!

He rode a blazing saddle
He wore a shining star
His job to offer battle
To bad men near and far
He conquered fear and he conquered hate
He turned our night into day
He made his blazing saddle
A torch to light the way

 
 

The fact is, Buchanan is right. Why do we tolerate so much ingratitute from the blacks we raised up from savagery? That we wasted trillions of dollars on so they can hate us, rob us, rape us and create more criminals and mentally defecient slackers we have feed? Your PCness blinds you to these simple facts.

 
 

The fact is, liberals love Useless Eaters because they vote for the Feeders. Them.

 
 

Oh, no you didn’t! In a thread about racism you invoke “Blazing Saddles?”

Is it twue what they say about you people?

 
 

Personally, there’ve been several instances where I’ve caught myself in either emitting or condoning sexist or racist expressions or thoughts, & what I find helpful is a wonderful little trick called “Telling Myself To Give My Head A Shake & Dummy The Fuck Up” … it’s not a sure-fire panacea, but it does seem to alleviate the problem, with repeated applications.

It’s not as easy as it sounds.

Owning up to your darker side can be a bitch.
The neocons’ toxic neurosis stems from their denying that they have one.
Which makes it stronger.
Eventually it becomes totally dominant – it LOVES ignorance – so the denial-junkie has to reformulate it as virtuous.
Voila — moral dyslexia!

Get enough people of voting age scared or angry or confused enough to play along, & you can even wind up subjected to the spectacle of supposedly sane adults openly debating the pros & cons of things like suspension of habeas corpus or torture, with a straight face.

 
 

Patkin,

Calling myself Mickey McMickerson is redundant.

And repetitive.

Excessive.

Makes me feel like a supernumerary.

It’s a surplus of micks. Which is no good thing, except on St. Patrick’s day.

 
 

The fact is, I am sick and tired of being punished for what my people did: raised blacks up from savagery and freed them, now they freeload and hate. The liberal media kowtows to them, all the time! Those people are ungrateful, and not very intelligent either, its true, scientist Phillipe Rushton has proven it. Yet we keep helping to prop them up so they can make excuses for jerks like Wright. Why?

 
 

Every racist under the sun uses that same Chris Rock bit to justify their racism. It’s almost as tiresome as “black people call each other niggers so I can too!”

You forgot one other important point: Rock does comedy.

 
 

I denounce and reject anyone who doesn’t call me Don Kweervo bin Zebrastripes.

 
 

The fact is, we don’t have the luxury of habeus corpus during wartime, and we need to torture the enemy to get information and to bend them to our will. Do you want to fight islam unaramed? Oh, I forgot. You LOVE islam more than any other religion. Too bad they wille xecute you when the estabilsh the Caliphate in the US.

 
 

Because we cannot ever, really, know what is in someone else’s heart, merely by looking at the color of their skin.

But we sure can make an educated guess as to the level of privilege they are likely to have.

“Holy denial, Batman! Did you see that?”

“What, Robin? I didn’t see a thing.”

The fact is, Buchanan is right.

Tell us again, Gary, about the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus and other fairy tales.

 
 

So, you’re already admitting defeat, Gary? I mean, if you’re using “when” instead of “if”.

 
 

What’s all this then?

 
 

Makes me feel like a supernumerary.

And I must ask, where is the problem in that?

 
 

The fact is, the way its going, the muslims may succeed because of numbers. We have shown restraint by not killing them all, we need to dispense with this. If a liberal is elected president we are doomed. We need to fight the enemy within and hard.

 
 

I’m sure you are fighting hard, fake gary.

But will the girls even notice?

 
 

Oh yeah?

I see you StuffWhitePeopleLike and raise you one BlackPeopleLoveUs.

 
 

The fact is…..

WE

ARE

AT

WAR

WITH

ISLAM.

The sooner you understand this, the more likely you will survive and join the right side of this fight.

 
 

The fact is, to those who say we are NOT at war with Islam?

THEY

ARE

AT

WAR

WITH

US.

Like it or not. get the picture?

 
 

We’re apparently already on it, since you’re a big fat loser.

Looooooooooooooooooooser.

 
 

Sorry, I’m at war with tooth decay. Priorities…..

 
 

We?

Who is “we”?

Keep your pronouns to yourself, please.

 
 

need to fight the enemy within and hard

Whasamatta, Gary, is Teh Ghey fighting to get out?

Or are you just projecting again?

 
 

FelixMoronia said,
My first reaction to Matt M. is that he is an amalgam of every character June Allyson played in the movies: syrupy!

Why, golly! Gosh! Jeepers! Now really! I think you should take that back this very instant!

You cocksucker.

 
 

Hi, folks. Long-time reader, first-time commenter. I’ve decided to take the plunge, so where can I sign up my diary? I have so much to say!

 
 

I’m one of those horrible multi-breeds: Irish, Swedish, and Brit.

Just call me Limey McLutefisk.

 
 

Y’know, it’s weird J–, but we used to have another J–. So, uh, I guess we’re full up on J–. So you don’t get a diary.

Sorry.

 
 

J— said,

March 26, 2008 at 1:50

Hi, folks. Long-time reader, first-time commenter. I’ve decided to take the plunge, so where can I sign up my diary?

Down the hall and to the left.

 
 

Is Gary now holding up cards with colored capital letters on them?

 
 

Hi, folks. Long-time reader, first-time commenter. I’ve decided to take the plunge, so where can I sign up my diary? I have so much to say!

Actually, J–, I think it was simply alcohol deficiency that made him seem so bizarre.

 
 

He’s sending smoke signals out his ears.

 
 

Is Gary now holding up cards with colored capital letters on them?

No, it’s one of these.

 
 

Why is it so hard for people to understand this isn’t a blog for reasonable debate. It’s a blog for making fun of stupid people and their stupid arguments. If you don’t like that, don’t read it.

 
 

Every day that Chris Rock gets home from….whatever the hell it is that Chris Rock does all day…

He reads screenplays for terrible movies, as far as I can tell.

…he sits down and silently weeps for coming up with this bit and thus giving every white racist asshole an excuse for continuing to be a white racist asshole.

Too true. When I first heard this bit, it struck me that this was exactly what a former boss, who was one of the worst racists I ever knew, once told me.

 
 

wow fake Gary is getting good, I actually dislike him today

 
 

Matt McMahon said,
I’ll just go to another leftwing blog

I’m sure I could help you out with a number of suggestions.

where I’ll be appreciated.

Nope, can’t think of a single one.

 
 

RBob: hence my questioning synchronicity.

Makes me feel like a hierodule.

 
The Donner Party
 

Concerned Democrat said,
I am starting to wonder why I ever liked leftwingers, when they are this rude.

Because they are delicious with mustard.

 
 

Google tells me

Hierodule
Looking for Hierodule?
Find exactly what you want today.
http://www.ebay.com

 
 

I do NOT appreciate being forced to alpha test this sloppy version of the Gary soft, and I do mean soft, ware. Flaccidware, even.

 
 

Makes me feel like a hierodule.

Can’t say I’ve ever felt like one of those, but sometimes I feel like a minister-without-portfolio. Which is kind of fun. Can any of you hook me up with that?

 
 

Old Perfesser: It didn’t take a genius to see the compassion beneath the anger, in both cases.

Please, conservatives, can we just have a little less compassion from you folks? Thx.

 
 

The fact is, Larry Sinclair of “Obama gave me drugs and extra large helping of dark meat” fame has a blog.

Wanna-be loonies like Gary Poophurt pale in comparison to the real deal.

 
Lily von Schtupp
 

Legalize said,
March 26, 2008 at 0:54

Hehe, I predict that this thread turns into the ending of Blazing Saddles any minute now.

It’s twue! It’s twue!

 
 

Hmm. Over there, some doods who think Allah’s all that.

Over here, some gary ruppert having mofos.

In the middle, me. With some significant firepower and an anger management problem.

Now sure, I think religion, especially to the extent you make it the central focus of your life, is silly and reality denying.

But the gary ruppert asswipes piss me off. It’s a worldview built on a foundation of hate, fear, scarcity and tribalism.

So know what, heartland boy? You gotta pick sides at some point. I’m pretty sure, many things being less than equal, that if some kind of big balloon goes up like you so fervently hope, my best interests will not be represented by your squad. So think about who’s in your tribe, sure, but think about who’s not too…

mikey

 
 

tigrismus said,

Isn’t Saul in the heartland of Falls Church, VA?

I think it’s safe to assume Falls Church, VA has no heart.

 
 

silly and reality-denying and impoverishing

 
 

We’re at war with Islam, terror, drugs, marriage, poverty, crime.

Is there any inanimate object or concept we can’t fight?

 
 

Stupidity.

 
 

Is there any inanimate object or concept we can’t fight?

Poop jokes.

 
 

“There are worse things than fighting.
Like not fighting, sometimes”

Know who said that?

Mack fucking Bolan.

*AHEM*

I’m gonna get another drink….

mikey

 
Satan's Dirty Underwear
 

We CAN fight poop jokes. And we’re winning. We can’t afford to not win. We ARE winning.

 
 

Guys, people with names like [Adjective] [Position] are obviously parodies. Give it up.

I have no idea what Matt boy is. Perhaps too earnest?

 
 

I resemble that remark.

 
 

PurpleMonkeyDishwasher

I think I just might have to change my screen name.

 
 

… to damage the music reputation of white people (more) than any band since Stryper.

Oh, Sweet Cheeto Jebus! Ya had to go there, din’t ya?

 
 

Okay, I’m way late to this thread, but this caught my eye:

Many SNers have multiple personalities. We are large. We contain multitudes. With me it’s only cause I’m off my meds.

They’ve found meds for this? What meds? No, really. They’re getting annoying, they always do in the spring for some reason. I tried depakote, which seemed to make them quieter, but also gave me bleeding ulcers. Not really a sustainable tradeoff.

 
 

No, the difference between Chris Rock’s bit and all this rightwing racism is the sense that Oldpunk or whoever the author is, he’s a victim of black people! Not because they robbed him or stole his car or eloped with his daughter but simply because their fashion sense and musical preferences somehow intrude upon his reality in some way that constitutes mental harm and therefore he is the “victim” of some cultural assault!

The funny thing about racism is if you move somewhere else, you can see it so much more objectively. Take the Hutus and the Tutsis – to an American crackerhead like Oldpunk the context is gone – why, both groups are black and listen to loud music and wear colorful clothes, how can they possibly hate each other to the point of genocide??

The causes of racism are always the same – one group feeling culturally threatened in some way or another and therefore lash out in anger and hate.

The average liberal (of every cultural group!) is far less racist because he or she is CONFIDENT of their OWN culture, whereas your average wingnut retard honestly believes their little pocket of way of life is under constant siege and assault from their literal neighbors. And since this is not logical when it comes to your Oldpunks, logic will never do anything whatsoever to change their minds.

 
 

If we don’t fight the poop jokes here, we’ll have to fight them over there.

Nobody wants that.

 
Chlamydia Champagne
 

They’ve found meds for this? What meds? No, really. They’re getting annoying, they always do in the spring for some reason. I tried depakote, which seemed to make them quieter, but also gave me bleeding ulcers. Not really a sustainable tradeoff.

Haloperidol. It should take care of it without the ulcers. But you might appear to walk like a zombie. But I’m not sure that would manifest itself in any way in the comments.

 
 

I guess a long and rambling rant against poop jokes would be a diapertribe?

Don’t forget to tip your waitress. I’ll be here all week…

 
 

They’ve found meds for this?>/em>

I’ve always found booze helpful. Not very helpful but it’s better than nothing. Opiates are sometimes worthwhile. ‘Bout the only thing that ever really worked very well for me was X.

 
 

Like I sed, I’m off my meds….

 
 

We have always been at war with poop jokes.

 
 

except the gin

 
Chlamydia Champagne
 

Bout the only thing that ever really worked very well for me was X.

Oh dear god, the Holy X. Gives me a shiver just thinking about it.

 
 

The fact is, Obama is a race huslting, classwaring Marxist who hates America.

If he is not elected, there will be riots.

If he is elected, there will be an uprising of patriots to restore the constitution.

 
 

Satan’s Dirty Underwear said,

March 26, 2008 at 2:48

We CAN fight poop jokes. And we’re winning. We can’t afford to not win. We ARE winning.

I can’t believe you said that. With a straight face.

Look at yer underwear, man! I mean Lord. Or something.

 
Tim (the Other One)
 

“let’s compare Creed to the BeeGees”

better yet; let’s compare the BeeGees to Alvin and the Chipmunks..

 
Tim (the Other One)
 

Oh, and I preferred to be called Rock ManEnough

 
 

One thing I have learned from the trolls is forever banish “The fact is” from my writing.

Thanks!

 
 

I caint say nuthin with a straight face. I caint even think straight.

 
The Gods Themselves
 

Is there any inanimate object or concept we can’t fight?
Stupidity.

We’ll just carry on contending in vain, shall we?

 
Satan's Dirty Underwear
 

The most important thing is:
The ONLY important thing is:

Yellow in front, brown in back.
That’s all you ever need to know.

 
 

Had a long post, but I lost it.

The long short of it is you guys need to go to Instapunk and read the defenses they have going on over there. The one Jennifer coaxed out of oldpunk is priceless, and way funnier then the post that started this, which was just the same tired schtick the KKK always trots out when they’re in mixed company.

Oldpunk stays close to his name-appropriate oldschool ways, bringing out the old “It’s black culture that’s destructive, and YOU’RE hurting black people by not criticising it!”. It’s a stock defense, but oldpunk sells it like nobody’s business. My favorite part is when he describes his Gregory House-like ability to deduce a person’s entire personality and situation just from the clothes they wear and the car they drive. But unlike Dr. House, he just feels a deep sadness when a clump of dirt on a person’s shoe tells him that that person was raised by a single mother.

Instapunk takes a different tack, trying to appropriate the left-wing idea of political kabuki. Apparently we’re waterboarding oldpunk because we want to get the coveted position of grand MC at the next DailyKos convention, or something. But it’s not all new with Instapunk, he also busts out the classic “He was just saying what everybody thinks! It’s not like you’ve never had a bad thought!”

Well, I can’t speak for anybody else, but I’ve never felt like black people who wear their baseball caps sideways were double-dog daring me to call them a nigger. I suspect the burning desire to scream racist epithets at passing black men is less common then the punks suppose.

Seriously, people, those posts are way more fun then Gary Ruppert.

 
 

All this Pastor Wright/InstaPunk nonsense has me thinking of this great exchange in Super Fly, which has a great Curtis Mayfield soundtrack, Curtis Mayfield, of course, being better than Creed.

Militant: Dig it, dope peddler. We’re out here building a new nation for black people. It’s time for you to start payin some dues, nigga!

Youngblood Priest: I ain’t givin’ you shit! I’ll tell you what you do, you go get you a gun and all those black folks you keep doin’ so much talkin’ about get guns, and come back ready to go down, then I’ll be right down front killin’ whitey. But until you can do that, you go sing your marching songs some place else. Now we’re through talkin’.

Well, take *that*, Mr. Militant!

 
 

If he is not elected, there will be riots.

If he is elected, there will be an uprising of patriots to restore the constitution.

Oh, gary. You are so predictable, and yet still so amusing.

 
 

Youngblood Priest: I ain’t givin’ you shit! I’ll tell you what you do, you go get you a gun and all those black folks you keep doin’ so much talkin’ about get guns, and come back ready to go down, then I’ll be right down front killin’ whitey. But until you can do that, you go sing your marching songs some place else. Now we’re through talkin’.

Hoo, jeez, I’d forgotton that. Bring it all, bay bee.

Decisions are hard. Choosing sides is easy.

This entire culture is about one angry diatribe from melting down.

Maybe that’s why we’re the thirty second least stable nation, or whatever.

Dood. It’s all gonn be a problem. You aren’t gonna be able to “ride it out” with the right secret handshake.

It’s gonna be so fucking sad when the wingnut hatewads figure out that we’re all in this together and decide to try to get us to let them participate.

Oh no. Not THAT sad. They can eat dirt, for all I care…

mikey

 
 

Gary Ruppert said,

March 26, 2008 at 1:36

The fact is, Buchanan is right. Why do we tolerate so much ingratitute from the blacks we raised up from savagery?

That uppity nigger hit me upside the head with a shovel!

 
 

Appropos of nothing at all, I’m playing me some David Allen Coe loud.

Hella loud.

What?

mikey

 
 

I’m listening to Sopwith Camel “The Miraculous Hump Returns From The Moon”. 1974 San Francisco. Finest mellowing agents.

 
 

The only real division is between Christians (Baptist Republican) and pagan heretics. While they are few and far between, there are a few colored people that are bright enough to know and understand the the Lord and the Holy Scripture; so “skin color” has nothing to do with anything. As long as you love the Lord, you’re A-Okay!

As for the rest of you godless vermin, the Lord will show you what’s what and I’ll be happy to laugh at your eternal torment:

God shall likewise destroy thee for ever, he shall take thee away, and pluck thee out of thy dwelling place, and root thee out of the land of the living. Selah. The righteous also shall see, and fear, and shall laugh at him” — Psalms 52:5-6

 
 

I’ve tried the antipsychotics, they can’t even fix the inderal-induced zombie hallucinations. They’re the mental health version of hydrocodone: you still have whatever symptoms you used to have (and more!) but you don’t care as much.

Also booze never helped, they’re more obnoxious when they’re drunk.

I’m gonna have to look into X. Just for the spring. Fuck it, it’s not like I’m functional anyway.

 
 

Peace be upon you, gbear, and upon your stereo.

Let the tentacles of peace reach into your homes and into your underpants.

Let peace be the thing that makes your thing, well, a thing

And for all you unbelievers, I say unto you, let peace be your guide, and let your peaceful thing guide you in all your endeavors….

mikey

 
 

As long as you love the Lord, you’re A-Okay!

Unless, of course, you’re a Christian. Then you’re also commanded to love your neighbor, second only to the Lord. And regardless of all the shit he does you don’t like.

I’m pretty sure “love” doesn’t include laughing at his eternal torment.

 
 

Pagans aren’t heretics. You have to be a member of a religion to engage in heresy in it. It’s like blasphemy: you have to believe in the god in question to blaspheme him or her.

And like gays, pagans think a helluva lot less about being pagan than you repressive Christians ever do.

 
 

Sidhe. I’ve got a bandaid can half full of some righteous guatamalan X I’m askeered of ’cause of my blood pressure.

Oh, I grind one up and snort it every now and then to prove I’m not a victim, but you can have most of ’em if you want…

mikey

 
 

I’ve always chosen paganism over heresy.

It sounds cooler and takes a lot less effort.

 
 

Jennifer: Silly little heretic, you plainly don’t know the Holy Scripture. Luckily for you, you’re a woman so your opinion doesn’t matter any way. Glory! As long as you’re a good wife and properly submissive to you father and then your husband you’ll be okay despite your silly prattle. Praise Jesus!

D. Singh or whatever… sorry I meant: “pagans/heretics”

Praise the Lord!

 
 

I’m Celt, not Sikh. I was gonna tell you not to google as you’d upset yourself unnecessarily, but I see from your site that you waste even more time than I do amusing yourself. Cheers!

 
 

The only real division is between Christians (Baptist Republican) and pagan heretics.

Yeah, you know those Lutherans, always fucking shit up and peeing on the furniture.

The only religions that have ever made any sense to me are the Eastern ones like Taoism, Buddhism, etc.

You know, the ones that don’t encourage to live your life in perpetual fear of judgment from above.

 
 

Shalom, gentlemen. And gentlemen? Shalom.

 
 

mikey, I thank you, but I’ve got blood pressure issues too, so maybe that’s a deal-breaker. Really, they’re not all that bad, as long as I stay away from the easily alarmed and, you know, shrink types. I’d rather have voices than zombies, to be honest.

 
 

The truth is, these liberals need to be killed because g-d told me to, and that’s the way, and America is doomed if they tolerate the gay, the muslim, the liberal, the effete tree hugger.

 
 

D. Shaykh & Gov. Bill… 🙂

Praise Jesus!

 
 

No way man. Vanilla Ice set back white people in music way more than Creeeeeeed.

 
 

Baptists for brown underpants!

 
 

I’m wondering how long it is until we start hearing “Racism is what makes America great!!!1″ from the conservatards. They’re starting to get the idea that racism really pisses liberals off, and the more it does that, the better it must be.

I mean, if it happened with torture, it can happen with racism.

 
 

I’ll be happy to laugh at your eternal torment:

Hmm, this doesn’t sound like “love your neighbor” to me.

 
 

Brother Bob, meet Saul. Saul, meet Brother Bob. Let’s have a discussion about heresy or paganism, or whatever.

As a matter of fact, you two could have that discussion together – how about you go someplace together and talk?

 
 

Mmmm… Brother Bob you handsome devil!

Nice handsaw!

 
 

If we’re nominating horrible musicians for anti-sainthood, may I humbly add Motley Crue to the list?

The truth is, these liberals need to be killed because g-d told me to…

And a magic sky fairy told me that you suck donkey dick… my, what a fun game.

 
 

Actually, now that I think about it, I ought to do a narcotics inventory. This place is positively chockablock (is that really a word?) with illegal chemicals. They just kind of accumulate, like dust or ex girlfriends, and you don’t really think about them.

We could take out Medvedev with the chemistry available to us in just one room of my house.

I like that concept…

mikey

 
 

these liberals need to be killed because g-d told me to

that’s One (1) for saul.

Will the proprietors please note that death threats deserve a banning?

 
 

LOL… I can never fool the folks on S,N! (with the exception of the random dullard) – although I’m quite good at it elsewhere and have all sort of idiots playing ball. 🙂 Oh well.

Although, I have to admit I love the ““Racism is what makes America great!!!1? line… I’ll have to find a good use for that one…

 
 

g, that guy with the handsaw is something else. What’s he gonna do? Cut Jesus down from the cross? A claw hammer or crowbar might work better. He looks like he sent his staff out to buy the bib overalls and bring them back to the makeup room.

 
 

my best interests will not be represented by your squad.

I read that as “represented by your squid.” I really shouldn’t jump back and forth between here and Pharyngula when I’m tired.

 
 

Apparently we’re waterboarding oldpunk because we want to get the coveted position of grand MC at the next DailyKos convention, or something

That post is hilarious. I posted this as a response there:

It’s always funny to see conservatives eagerly join the same cult of victimization they claim to abhore.

They write something stupid, people disagree, and suddenly they are being “waterboarded” and being denied their free speech rights…somehow…it’s certainly an interesting interpretation that free speech means being able to say anything while everyone else is forced to remain silent.

Cry more, you strong brave conservative warriors.

You dismiss it when black people claim victimization over things like slavery or when women claim to be victimized by spousal abuse and rape but of course it’s perfectly ok to cry about victimization when people merely disagree with your opinion.

Makes sense to me. You guys are nothing if not unwaveringly consistent in principles.

“perverse views with others who may not have heard them before”

I have to admit, OldPunk’s rant was nothing if not highly original. I’ve certainly never heard a stodgy white guy complain about black people before. Where can I sign up for the newsletter?

 
Blanch McSunburn
 

‘Guys, people with names like [Adjective] [Position] are obviously parodies. Give it up.

I have no idea what Matt boy is. Perhaps too earnest?’

Boris Badenough?

 
 

it’s certainly an interesting interpretation that free speech means being able to say anything while everyone else is forced to remain silent.

From the fRightWing Bill of Righteousness:

Amendergarment Number 1:

The government shall not allow liberals to speak until we finish speaking and we can go on forever thanks to a steady diet of Cheetos and Mountain Dew. The government shall throw liberals who disagree, yawn, roll their eyes, or make jerk off motions with their hands when we talk in jail 4evar, so, shut up, that’s why. Also, the government shall pay to install Nativity Scenes and 10 Commandment monuments on every street corner in order to remind God that He likes us best, because He may be an omniscient and omnipotent being, but He’s also kind of forgetful.

 
 

who have done more to damage the music reputation of white people

Music reputation? Every time I see assholes blasting Creed out of a rusty Trans Am I just want to beat myself to death with Michel Gondry.

 
Flappy McScrotum
 

You guys are entirely too hard on Creed. Yes they suck. But there was plenty of sucking going on before. How can we forget such great acts as Enuff Z’nuff and Grim Reaper?

 
 

Enuff Z’nuff

Points for having a guy in the band called Chip Z’nuff. I don’t know how I could say “enough” to chips.

Grim Reaper

I’ll see you in HEEEEEELLLLLLLLL!!!!

 
 

What? Grim Reaper takes Creed, stuffs their Jesus-loving asses into the drum kit, and then drum solos the shit out of them for, like, 18 minutes. Then, they play some hot metal lixx and teaches them how to worship Satan like a real rock band.

 
 

Satan really doesn’t receive enough attention any more.

 
 

If you were going to study the idea of whether being in a band can get you laid no matter how fugly you are, you would probably start with the lead singer of Grim Reaper.

Now, LET’S ROCK!

 
 

Satan really doesn’t receive enough attention any more.

He’s doing fine.

 
 

Creed does in fact really really suck ass.

 
 

Y’all have obviously had way more to drink than I have. So that explains the interesting and new user names and the profanities (although i am not fucking opposed to profanities, fuck no).

but, clearly, I am too drunk to distinguish between trolls, parody trolls, parody parodies, and true believers, so i will bid you all a heartfelt good night.

 
 

…but, clearly, I am too drunk to distinguish between trolls, parody trolls, parody parodies, and true believers…

Strange thread, eh? I’m sorry I came to it so late.

Speaking of Creed, I should point out that this hypothesis:

…whether being in a band can get you laid no matter how fugly you are…

is refuted by this fine link from the recent Creed thread.

 
 

Man, I was watching American Idol like a punk and y’all was having fun with the folks on the brown acid. /old

I just wanted to say how much I knew, I freaking KNEW, the Chris Rock routine was coming up. Wasn’t this dealt with in sufficient measure by that episode of The Office where everyone had to go to sensitivity training because Cracker thought he got a pass on that one? If not, let’s put that on PSAs until it is recognized.

Chris Rock, a lonely nation turns its eyes to you. I’m pretty sure the guy who created Nat X is not sympatico with this copyright infringement. Sorry, HOMMAGE.

 
 

In defense of the “being in a band can get you laid no matter how fugly you are” theory, it only really works for pre- and current rock stars. Post-rock stars are exempt, especially if they’re already of the douchy, and double especially if the target audience of their music is the sort of person who attended a purity ball and doesn’t put out until after marriage.

 
 

*douchy variety

 
 

mikey–

That’s Mendeleev.

Y’know. The Russian chemist who set the periodic table.

That said, I’d like to see your personal inventory.

I’m an amateur enthusiast for the chemicals you seem to be describing.

If you’re interested in divesting yourself of those chemicals, I’d be a willing recipient.

Cheers!

 
 

Good work. Keep marginalizing centrists like myself and Matt McMahon, and keep losing votes. Keep driving middle America away from your candidates with rediculous policies that will never work. The far left approach will only isolate you. But I guess you deserve it.

Fuck… we are getting “The Better Class” of trolls, lucky us. Have you guys been waving your private parts around the high-bandwidth lefty blogs again? Has everyone forgotten that the only way to avoid trollcrap on the virtual sneakers is to IGNORE the little bastards?

As for genuinely malignant lifeforms… if you really want to give Pat Buchanan a fatal coronary, keep asking him how he’s related to James “America’s First Openly Gay President” Buchanan…

 
 

These sadsackatauruses don’t get it and never will. I’d like him to parade around using the C word and see what kind of reaction he gets.

 
 

I’m listening to Sopwith Camel “The Miraculous Hump Returns From The Moon”. 1974 San Francisco. Finest mellowing agents.

Hot damn, that’s a good album. Permanently recorded to my iPod, of course.

Fason1!!111!!EEWLEVEN!!!

 
 

The only religions that have ever made any sense to me are the Eastern ones like Taoism, Buddhism, etc Old Zonastarism (?) seem reasonably cool too.

Whenever I see this kind of whining, this old movie poster comes to mind:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bristlesposters03/769627931/

 
 

This is the kind of conversation I want in America:
Kill the white people…but buy my record first…

The fact is, whitey will pay.

And sorry just ain’t cutting it with regards to creed. i demand unequivocal condemnation and denouncement. you must publicly reject Stapp and acknowledge that creed does, in fact, tonguejack donkey shitboxes.

i demand reparations. and tortas.

 
 

Baptists for brown underpants

And, of course, since Satan says upthread…

Yellow in front, brown in back.
That’s all you ever need to know.

As Satan is the great deceiver, doesn’t that mean something about how BB should be wearing his shorts?

Also,

Hehe, I predict that this thread turns into the ending of Blazing Saddles any minute now.

Nowhere special. I always wanted to go there.

 
 

Oh, yeah. Almost forgot.

Creed really does suck.

I’ve been in the bidness long enough to know.

 
 

Down with the white power structure! Death to crackers, so to speak. I’m getting sick and tired of all these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!

Can I join the Black Panthers now? What? Why are you niggers looking at me funny? Oh, I can say that, I’m a black.

 
 

Here’s the thing about Creed. As a band they rank down there with Lenny Kravitz. Both use ten truckloads of posing in an attempt to conceal serious originality deficits. It didn’t work and so they sucked. At least to this child of DFHs.

However, the amount of suction Creed produces is quadrupled by Scott Sapps wanna-be Xtian “I wasn’t drunk, I was tired. No honest I’m not really a spoiled little dick, I just love being a child of God so much I sometimes forget to act like an adult,” bullshit. The result was all the ear-stabbing agony of a Talevangical minister combined with a hack band. Do. Not. Want.

I’d like to give Sapp props for exploiting the brain-dead Xtians, but then I think of him stancing in front of a fan and decide not hunting him down and beating him with a mike stand is all the praise I can muster.

In conclusion: Creed sucks, they have always sucked, if you were to go back in time and kill off every other rock musician so that Creed was the only rock band ever in the history of rock … Um … Creed wouldn’t exist because there would be no other bands for Creed to imitate, but if you did somehow manage to create a reality where Creed was the only rock band, Creed would still suck. And possibly bite.

And that is central to my point.

 
 

The fact is,

WE

ARE

AT

WAR

WITH

ISLAM

although

not

me

personally

as

I

have

this

back

problem

and

I’m

fighting

the

war

of

ideas

at

home.

 
 

And
losing
badly
.
.
.

 
 

The motherfuckin’ fact motherfuckin is, motherfuckers always motherfuckin 9/11.

 
 

double especially if the target audience of their music is the sort of person who attended a purity ball and doesn’t put out until after marriage.

People who attend purity balls aren’t less likely to put out, they are just more likely to take it up the ass and less likely to use a condom. It’s not sex that way.

 
 

Post 270 already? Times flies like the wind (but fruit flies like bananas).

For mikey

 
Our president, the fucking moron
 

As President Bush said, “One day, people will look back at this moment in history and say, ‘Thank God there were courageous people willing to serve, because they laid the foundations for peace for generations to come.’ ”

Military Service Eligible Children of George W. Bush

Jenna Bush
Barbara Bush

Military Service Eligible Children of Jeb Bush

George P. Bush
Noelle Bush
John Ellis Bush Jr.

Military Service Eligible Children of Neil Bush

Lauren Bush
Pierce Bush

Military Service Eligible Children of Marvin Bush

Marshall Bush

Military Service Eligible Children of Dorothy Bush
Koch

Samuel LeBlond
Ellie LeBlond

 
 

Shalom, gentelmen.

 
 

The truth is, it is pure envy and class warfare to demand that Bushes and Cheneys fight in the war, they have important roles here and around the world besides fighting, and we cannot sacrafice our entire leadership class to build false egalitarianism.

 
 

Okay saul – how about just you, then?

 
 

This thread is composed of so much win and awesome that words can’t describe it. Drugs, snark, and mockery of Creed. Life is good.

 
 

You see they were brought up in a time when crackers could push around the black kids in high school. They thought it was funny.

Oh, nuh uh, not in my Alabama high school. The black kids stuck together like glue and one messed with them at one’s peril.

 
 

I agree with Saul, and respect him for agreeing to stand up and fight so that the Bushes and Cheneys don’t have to. He is a true heartland patriot of USA America.

 
 

As a white person with a somewhat developed sense of historical duty, I’d like to take this opportunity to denounce, renounce, and apologize for Lope de Aguirre. He was kind of a jerk, and he really shouldn’t have done all those nasty things he did.

Whew! That felt good.

 
 

What exactly is the important role Noelle Bush has here at home?

 
 

we cannot sacrafice our entire leadership class to build false egalitarianism.

I am kind of looking forward to the return of the Dark Ages, with corporations replacing fiefdoms and a hereditary aristocracy.

It’ll be just like Shadowrun, except fewer elves. And I think we can all agree that’s a good thing.

 
 

Your divisive anti-elven rhetoric is exactly the sort of thing that’s tearing this country apart.

 
 

What exactly is the important role Noelle Bush has here at home?

Nothing Laura can’t handle on her own

 
 

I’m afraid that I may have to vote for McCain, because at least he talks straight and tells it like it is …

Because that whole thing about al-Q being Sunni and Iran being Shi’a and them not getting along? It’s all fake. At this very minute the Ayatollahs and bin Laden are drinking beer together and laughing at stupid Americans while planning their next attack.

 
 

The fact is…

WE

ARE

AT

WAR

WITH

ELVES

Why do you not see????

 
 

Coming this fall to FOX: Jew in the Heartland! Starring Jason Alexander as Saul the Rabbi, and Larry the Cable Guy as Joe Bob Ed Tom Heartland. Monday nights on FOX, right after 24!

It’s “Jew in the Heartland” and Heartland is the name of one of the characters? Dude, that’s gay.

 
 

Elves didn’t land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on them.

 
 

Oooh. Greenwald just did another update on this stuff. Expect the trolls to return shortly.

 
 

White America needs to be heard from, not just lectured to.

This time, the Silent Majority needs to have its convictions, grievances and demands heard. And among them are these:

First, America has been the best country on earth for elves. It was here that 600,000 elves, brought from Hyrule in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity elves have ever known.
Second, no people anywhere has done more to lift up elves than white Americans.

 
 

Almost any conversation about race in America is bound to be filled with comforting platitudes and if it isn’t; if it starts to stray into the raw, honest territory Barack Obama says he wants us to venture into, things get uncomfortable mighty fast.

I can honestly say this guy is an asshole.

 
 

Oh, and I apologize for Vanilla Ice. Fucking embarrassing really.

 
 

Peej is right. Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.

 
 

Hey, just like that Chris Rock routine. There are Seelie and then there are Unseelie. Am I right fellas? Huh? Huh?

 
 

Clearly, Vanilla Ice is a cracker. Since we’re making lists of people, here is a list of crackers (as opposed to white people, who are law-abiding, god-fearing, not-terrible-music-making):

Vanilla Ice
Ken Lay
Charles Manson
Kenny G
Mel Gibson
Scott Peterson
Uwe Boll

If you can’t denounce all of these people as crackers, you are just furthering the racial divide in this country.

 
Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot
 

Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed! Heh! Indeed!

 
 

Not because they robbed him or stole his car or eloped with his daughter but simply because their fashion sense and musical preferences somehow intrude upon his reality in some way that constitutes mental harm and therefore he is the “victim” of some cultural assault!

Poor thing, he’s a victim of fear. Every time he sees a hip-hopper he poops his pants.

 
 

I wonder why I can post comments from my office (where I shouldn’t be doing this on company time) and not from home (where only the dog objects)?

I was on a particularly hilarious roll last night but not a single comment appeared. You’ll just have to trust me on this — I was on fire!

 
 

ZOMG Cop-killing guns are being smuggled across the Mexican border to kill cops!!!! Drug thugs rape sacred sovereignty and slay uniformed heroes!! Build a wall! Send in the army! Call Lou Dobs!
Oh wait, they are being sent South and they are killing Mexican police. Errrr…. nevermind

 
 

You leftoff the biggest cracker of them all – George W Bush.

 
 

To be fair, the first thing Chris Rock said is “I love black people,” and the first thing Old Punk said is:

I don’t hate black people … I admire Thomas Sowell, Duke Ellington, Roberto Clemente, Muhammed Ali, Alexandre Dumas, Sidney Poitier, Denzel Washington, Count Basie, Tiger Woods, and Bill Cosby … that’s a sampling of the famous folks whose courage, genius, character, and achievements I would be proud if I could get anywhere in the vicinity of. The bald truth of the matter is that they’re better than I am, and it doesn’t arouse a flicker of racial feeling in me to acknowledge it. They have enriched and elevated my own experience of life.

Only after that did he say that he is “sick to death of black people as a group,” whereas Rock followed it up with “But I hate niggers.” It can (and should) of course be argued that Rock has more of a right to say things like that, being black himself—and also because it was a comedy routine, not Very Serious Discourse. But to ignore that entire chunk of Old Punk’s piece is intellectually dishonest.

 
 

I don’t hate elves – I admire Legolas, for instance.

I’m just sick to death of them as a group and think they’re forming a fifth column movement to destroy the country.

What, you say the first part is a meaningless disclaimer whose only purpose is to have something to point to when i’m correctly called out as a murderous racist? nonsense.

 
 

Well, in his defense, he named more than one famous black person. Surely that must give him the leeway he needs to attack all the rest. I mean, anyone can name one black person. Oprah. See? But anyone who can name that many black people must have some sort of authority to generalize the rest of them.

 
 

Charles Manson did manage to get one of his songs onto a Beach Boys record.

Via Wikipedia:

“Never Learn Not to Love” is a song recorded by The Beach Boys. It was released on their 1969 album 20/20. It was also released as the B-side of the “Bluebirds over the Mountain” single in 1968. On the Beach Boys album the song is credited to Dennis Wilson. The original song, titled “Cease to Exist”, was written by Charles Manson. Dennis Wilson, however, took the original and changed some of the lyrics and re-wrote the music to the song. The song opens with “Cease to Resist”, the title was changed for obvious reasons.

 
 

It is generous of him to admit that black people are ok as long as they are entertaining him.

 
 

Dude, that’s gay.

It’s the only way to get the coveted 18-25 year-old Silvanaes demographic.

 
 

You dismiss it when black people claim victimization over things like slavery or when women claim to be victimized by spousal abuse and rape but of course it’s perfectly ok to cry about victimization when people merely disagree with mock your opinion.

Fixed.

 
 

From Meghan McCain’s blog post (“10 Things You Don’t Know About My Mom”):

4. Her favorite snacks are Cheetos and salt and vinegar potato chips.

I knew she was just a caricature.

 
 

As one of the most liberal members of this blog, I demand that someone apologize for the entire state of Kentucky!

 
 

To ignore that part of OldPunk’s comment is to display good taste.

 
 

As one of the most literal members of this blog, I demand all metaphor use cease immediately!

 
Satan's Dirty Underwear
 

As the most liberal member of this blog (I pushed g off the throne last night while no one was watching) I demand that we change the name to Sadly NO/Let’s see/Maybe/Possibly/Questioning/and Allies!

 
 

You forgot to include the Yes to No community, not to mention the YNEOS

 
 

Wait wait wait wait wait.

He says he admires Denzel Washington, right?

But Denzel Washington played Malcolm X. I know, I saw him in the movie.
And we know that Malcolm X “encapsulates the anger and fear surrounding Barack Obama’s association with Jeremiah Wright.”
But … Jeremiah Wright is on Mr. Punk’s Infamous List (was it the weeds list? or the Cunts List? Or the Royal Pricks list? Or the Pussies List? I really have them all muddled up in my head.)

I think Old Punk or Instapunk – or, really, both of them – need to explain and/or renounce Denzel Washington and all he stands for.

 
Satan's Dirty Underwear
 

Yes, we need to be inclusive. Add those to as well. And let me apologize for the inconsiderate hateful decisive-centric way I completely disregarded your ENTIRE LIFE and shut you out thus making you feel absolutely horrible. Did you cry?

 
 

He might night like Bill Cosby so much either if he knew how whiney and ungrateful he used to be.

 
 

C’mon, it’s almost 1 p.m. Eastern, and no new posts? What am I paying you people for?

 
 

I didn’t cry, because I know that’s just what the Yes wants me to do. Instead, let me express my emotions in the traditional ways of my people, which you will also be able to see in an upcoming documentary on the Discovery Channel.
First, I’ll need some fetuses…

 
 

I’m gonna have to cruise 2 yr old Creed posts if this keeps up

 
 

hey, whoa, what happened? How’d I end up on the floor? [damn Satanic lingerie]

 
 

There is a perfectly good psychological explanation for your apparently ‘satanic’ lingerie, g; and for the fact that you’re on the floor. It was a Freudian slip.

 
 

@ a helluva lot earlier: I can’t decide, should I be Paddy O’Drunkfreeloader or Polack Lightbulbski? My genealogy is the best of both worlds.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

As one of the most littoral members of this blog, I demand that all you damn kids get off my beach.

 
 

As one of the most gluttural members of this blog, Blurururuurgh! grehrrr!

 
 

How depressing it must be to be a liberal.

Horrific economy, endless war in Asia, and yet…

you know your boy or girl is going to lose in November.

It’s almost like millions of Americans are unthinkingly rejecting your ideology.

I laugh. I really do. My God, can it be this easy?

 
 

This thread was 100% magic & win. What a trip.

 
 

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