Shorter Buttrocket

It Lacked the Added Virtue of Being True

ABOVE: John “Buttrocket” Hinderaker

  • CBS’s story debunking Hillary’s claims about her trip to Bosnia is just further proof of liberal media bias.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


Comments: 78


Why’d you p-shop an ugly pig into that cute picture?


It must be very strange to be Assrocket. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can’t get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.


Otto Man – heh. Reminiscent of my favorite gambit with pro-Bush voters in 2004…I would say to them, “I only have one litmus test for who should be president, which is, he needs to be at least as smart as I am. And Bush isn’t. So are you saying he is as smart or smarter than you, or that it just doesn’t matter if a dumb guy is president?” Not many people were willing to say that they thought the guy is as smart as they are, for the obvious reason that he’s just such a huge fucking dumbass. Hindrocket will be a joke forever for not just claiming Bush is smarter than him, but going way beyond it with the reach-around. And he did it in writing, so it’s a gift that will keep on giving!


If Hindraker is like a great painter then let’s call him Piccasshole.



So wait – CBS is only “exposing” Hillary’s lies because she’s now a conservative?


If Hillary is now a conservative, shouldn’t Assrocket and his ilk be upset that CBS exposed her? Shouldn’t they be supporting her in general?

Similarly, if Hillary is now a conservative, isn’t she by definition, more troop-loving and patriotic? And if she is more patriotic and troop-loving, shouldn’t she get a totally free pass for making shit up that serves to pander to that image? I mean, ALL wingers make shit up to make it look like they’ve actually ventured outside of thier own caves.

Finally, if Assrocket is attacking Hillary (a conservative), isn’t he also attacking teh tr00pz and America? I just don’t understand why this vile vicious man hates America and the troops.


Buttrocket should stick with dark-colored suits. The light gray checked pattern with pink threads woven in makes him look gay.


it ain’t just that…


I prefer Obama, but I still like Hillary. I didn’t think that she was evil in the 90’s and I don’t think that she’s evil now. I don’t really trust the Democratic Party or our democratic system, but I think that we’ve seen worse and we will see worse still. Things have a tendency to be neither as good as we hope, nor as bad as you fear, and people always manage to surprise me with both their ugliness and their resilience.

If I think of anymore lukewarm bromides I’ll post them.


What is striking is that CBS News, a long-time Democratic Party stronghold, has exposed Hillary as a fabulist:

He’s looking pretty fabulist himself.


OK, I’m gonna go all PC here and ask that, when you find someone to be disgusting, lame, clueless and awful (a natural reaction to Hindrocket), you don’t attribute that to gayness. That’s a schoolyard move and a casually tossed knife in the back to us gay folks trying to live non-awful lives.


You’re right. [scuffs toe in sand dejectedly] I’m sorry.


the light gray checked pattern with pink threads is just midwestern spring lawyer attire. Perfect for going to court to argue for tobacco companies and drug company manufacturers.


Why is his nose so red?


By “fabulist” I didn’t mean gay… well, sort of, but more like a dandy, and also playing off of the way that he was accusing Hillary of what he was doing. Maybe there was some element of internalized homophobia, but… sigh. I’m a self-hating hypocrite and I’m terrible with apologies.

Arky "I Just Get These Headaches" The Blasphemer

The fucked up ‘tude, ceaseless whining and logic aversion make AssRocket look totally str8.


Either he’s Peter Schmeichel in disguise (which actually looks pretty plausible now I think of it) or he’s drunk. Which is even more plausible.


Whoops. I didn’t mean to come in here whacking knuckles with a ruler. Please purge any guilt and resume being happy carefree and gay.


So if the meedjya didn’t bust out President Bush on his ‘we found the Iraqi WMD’ comment on Polish TV several years ago, that means they’re all conservative, right?


Sorry, can’t be gay but I will say Legalize nailed it…and that makes me happy.


And that’s the way it is, eh ButtPlug?


If Hindraker is like a great painter then let’s call him Piccasshole.

Maybe De Koornhole, or Francis The Talking Bacon.

Arky "I Just Get These Headaches" The Blasphemer



Hillary Clinton is only conservative unless she gets the Democratic nomination, at which point we’ll be hearing again about how she’s the most liberal member of the Senate.


Jackson Pillock?




Jackson Pillock FTW, as the kids today do say. Well done, Thomas!


I had this discussion with a queer fellow I worked with (passing a J behind our local pub). People were throwing the term gay around about things that had nothing to do with sexual preference so I asked him if he was bothered. He said he felt no aspersion. We agreed that there’s gay and then there’s this other context-dependent gay – with the non-sexual usage having no clear definition but could mean self-serving or half-assed or dishonest or just not getting it. To describe a policy, a rule, a position taken, an image choice. Very slippery.

Don’t know where it started.


Hinderaker is Salieri to Instapundit’s Mozart.


Hinderaker is Salieri to Instapundit’s Mozart.

That is just so, so sad.

Arky "I Just Get These Headaches" The Blasphemer

Well objectivelypro, we could have a very entertaining discussion about the N word and who it bothers and who will punch you in the face.

Or we could keep picking on AssBluster.

I suggest Option 2.


Only in the same sense that Gary Ruppert is “Robot Monster” to any other reasonably articulate winger-lurker’s “Hal 9000” or “Megatron.”


If he thinks Bush is a genius, does he collect the classic works of Pauly Shore and Rob Schneider? Does he curl up with a Classics Illustrated on a snowy day? Does he draw an L on one hand and an R on another?

I can’t believe this guy graduated from Harvard Law School. It must have been like “Legally Blonde,” without the figure and fashion sense.


You do wonder, however, how CBS would report a distortion discovered in some of Obama’s writings and speechifying.


Hieronanus Bosh.


Peter Rude-ends


If he thinks Bush is a genius, does he collect the classic works of Pauly Shore and Rob Schneider?

In addition to browsing the oeuvre of Ernest, probably.

Also, another second for Jackson Pillock.


Hendrick ter Buggern


Philips WuWuMan

Tim (the Other One)

“Candy Warhole.”

great porn name !


That’s a high bar to set. Jackson Pillock. Damn!


On topic, did anyone see Kevin Drum’s smack the media upside their haids for their treatment of St. McCain?


the N word and who it bothers

My foppish anecdote was kind of headed in another direction but since we’re avoiding Option 1:

Buttward Flopper


You guys with your foppish anecdotes, always trying to shove your directional headings down our throats.


Lucianne Fraud

Frida Kahloadpants


Earnest Lee Hummingaway


Egon Schlemiele


Edvard Buttmunch

Arky "I Just Get These Headaches" The Blasphemer

Roy Lickendstein.

Ah hell, who am I kidding? I can’t top Jackson Pillock.


Georgia O’Quiff?


I DO really like Jackson Pillock.

But I think Frida Kahloadpants wins the thread.


Asrehole Dorky


er Arsehole Dorky.


Leonardo Da Winky?




Sir Anthony van Dyckweed


Pieter Bunghole the Elderberrysniffer


Actually, Hoosier, I’m waffling between Pillock and Edvard Buttmunch, myself.

Duros Hussein 62

Jackson Pillock?

Conversely, Jackson Bullocks?


Jan van Echhhhh
Rembrandt van Rijmjob
Salvador Folly
Andre Deranged

Nope, can’t beat Pillock or Buttmunch.


Vacant Van Gorged

Buttmunch gets my vote, though.


Conversely, Jackson Bullocks
bollocks, unless you mean young bulls.

I vote Buttmunch.




Edgar Degasshole


Sandro Buttismelly

Duros Hussein 62

Yes, bollocks. Clearly, that was central to my point.

Big thumbs up for Frieda Kahloadpants, however.


Marcel Duchump.


Sandro Buttismelly

There should be a way to graduate into the 3rd grade again.

Roy Licktenstool.


Camille Pissaroadkill


“That’s a schoolyard move and a casually tossed knife in the back to us gay folks trying to live non-awful lives.”

I hear ya, gbear. Mine was not a very imaginative or witty remark, and I apologize for being lazy and/or offensive.

As for artist names, there’s already an Asim Butt, as well as many interesting names here.


My apologies for missing Arky’s Lichtenstein.

In recompense, Kasimir Malevichewmyfuckingballscan’tthinkofanythingthatworks.


Toulouse Lautrekkie


No luck coming up with a good pun for Diane Arbus.

But I was very amused at the idea of Arbus creating a photo gallery of all our favorite third-tier (and lower) wingnuts.


Edgar De-gassy?


Legalize said: If Hillary is now a conservative, shouldn’t Assrocket and his ilk be upset that CBS exposed her? Shouldn’t they be supporting her in general?
Yes, except that “When to use the use thinks it of promoting it for open and divergent and with the new creative ideas to seek. To use it to put the creative reflexion Re-aan when you walk of the ideas. To obtain if people of a routine use it when think to them still rather conventional is.”
Understand now?


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