I had trouble with that link, too.

And yeah, that’s a good contender for funniest thing in the history of the universe.

Wow. One without the gift of gab can only say, “Wow.”

Also, perhaps, may I have another serving of Meta-Stupid, please?

The fact is, this liberal deserved to be thrown out. I hope they found Dawkins and beat him up. That would have made me laugh.

Funny as the Dawkins link is, the teasers in the previous comments from Wingnuts: The Sputtering! are even better.

Hey, Gary-

Shut up, that’s why!

Unless they’re kidding (or not, as the case may be). Then all I have to say is, I have lost my ability to relate.

What are you talking about, roy?

We’ve entered a new paradigm: Real, objective reality is for losers. “EXPELL!” the wrong person. This is Adam Sandler stuff for news and blog junkies.

Talk about a bad watch list. Just…craptacular.

Would that people see it on TV, and laugh. Maybe Stewart or Colbert will pick it up.

That is the most beautiful thing. Evar.

TBogg linked up to that site last night before the movie had even ended. The comments are fun to look thru just because it’s the happiest and most thoroughly amused group of commenters I’ve ever seen. With reason.

*escorts Gary from the theatre of SadlyNo* ….ooooo what’s this? A tantrum? Spitting up your popcorn? You demand to be let be let back in? Wha? It’s your right? There there, Gary, it was just a bad dream. You can return to your regularly scheduled trolling now.

I’m still laughing. That is too fucking precious.

I hope they found Dawkins and beat him up.

Roopert, if you’d bothered to read the post, you’d find out that Dawkins identified himself when he spoke at a Q&A after the film ended, and that he was basically shouted down by the good open-minded creationists.

You would have also found out that, when the producers were interviewing people under the false premise of a film to be called Crossroads, they had already registered the domain name for Expelled, but not the domain name for Crossroads. So it’s provable that they lied about their intentions from the start.

gbear, did you just use the word “provable” with wingnitticus moronus?

That’s not going to get you anywhere. There’s plenty of evidence that the Earth is 6000 years old if you’re a fucking idiot.

I’m hoping Olberman catches wind of this.

(slaps forehead, realizes the folly of his comment)

Didn’t Candy (teh great overlord) post about this yesterday? Yes, yes I think she did…

Duros, can’t we send him the link?

I believe I’ll do that just now.

You’re welcome, everyone. I’ll bet $20 virtual dollars he goes with it, after they can write it but good.

I have long suspected Keith is a regular Sadly reader. He no longer posts comments on blogs, he got burned a year or two ago on one. But you KNOW he’s out there.

And he’s sent out coded messages that he’s among us…

mikey

Jesus! I’m sure he gets a lot of e-mails, or would if I could find a way to do it, but isn’t the object of that game to find someone you trust to be your e-mail filter?

Anyway, it (so far) has gone to keitholbermann@msnbc.countdown.com.

It was just a guess. Maybe that’s the idea. If you can’t figure it out, we don’t want to hear from you.

mikey:

So, you’re saying Olberman is Gary?

Enjoy!

And why would ANYBODY throw Pee Zed out?

I’d move heaven and earth to get him to attend my event.

mikey

Shorter Ben Stein: I used to think people were entitled to believe what they want (and express those beliefs) until someone disagreed with me.

Lesley, you have scarred me for life. And I once loved that song, and still like it. Or did until about 30 seconds ago.

Thanks for nothing.

The fact is, you liberal biased idiots have been humiliated, as you will be in November. Free enquiry, fairness and balance, wins out and bores like albore and Dawkins deserve to get shouted down. Here in the heartland, we’re tired of them.

Someone has to get Ben’s take on this. It isn’t like he’s afraid of the camera, where he can appeal to the high-IQ moron.

Ben Stein was funny until he stopped smoking pot.

True story.

Here at Sadly, we’re tired of you, Gary.

If men evolved from monkeys, why do we still have monkeys?

So we could have shows on Animal Planet about them, obviously.

The word, Gary, is inquiry.

I am sure the wingnut-creationists in the audience were “fair and balanced” when they listened to Prof. Dawkins reasoned discourse on why the film was in error.

What’s that? They didn’t listen?

Oh, then, nevermind. I just remembered you can’t reason with an RWA troll.

Dig this tidbit from Expelled’s blog: http://expelledthemovie.com/blog/

“It’s (EXPELLED) going to appeal strongly to the religious, the paranoid, the conspiracy theorists, and the ignorant –– which means they’re going to draw in about 90% of the American market.”
-Atheist blogger and fabulist PZ Myers, on a film he has not yet seen.

Hee! I wish someone would hack that site and post video of these asswipes tossing Meyers from the theatre lineup.

You’ve got to watch the “super trailer”.
http://www.expelledthemovie.com/playground.php

In light of what they’ve done to PZ, it’s astoundingly hypocritical. The entire sales pitch is fear mongering. Ben Stein says “watch this movie and you risk losing your friends, losing your job. Scientists who disagree with Darwinism are being persecuted, losing their jobs, losing their voice…” It’s unfrickinbelievable.

Lesley:

Well, to be fair, if one of my friends did watch Expelled and didn’t immediately see it for the farcical bullshit it is, I’d have severe doubts about continuing a relationship with them.

If men evolved from monkeys, why do we still have monkeys?

Because O K Y and S were left over and yoks just didn’t seem appealing enough as a species.

Shoelimpy™ said,
March 21, 2008 at 23:38
If men evolved from monkeys why do we still have monkeys wingnuts?

corrected!

And why would ANYBODY throw Pee Zed out?

I’d move heaven and earth to get him to attend my event.

Especially since his in it!

Er, the movie, that is.

Scientists who disagree with Darwinism are being persecuted, losing their jobs, losing their voice…”

It’s unfrickinbelievable.

I agree, Lesley. I mean, both of them got shitcanned?

Shalom gentlemen.

I have long suspected Keith is a regular Sadly reader. He no longer posts comments on blogs, he got burned a year or two ago on one. But you KNOW he’s out there.

I have heard him say “Sadly,no.” on several occasions. And it’s just eerie when you read shit all day and, that evening, there it is on Countdown.

Hey Saul

Shut up, that’s why.

grrrrrrrrr. left right and centre the wingnuts have demonstrated they are opposed to free expression. Stein says so himself in the trailer. He says he doesn’t believe it’s a good thing anymore because religious fanatics are being laughed at. Buncha flaming shitbags!

The bottom line is, Charles Darwin was an idiot who made absolutely no sense. It is impossible for two monkeys having intercourse to bear a human child. If it was possible why doesn’t it happen today? Also Dawkins is a damned fool who deserved to be shouted down. Its only fair considering what you liberals did to Jim Gilchrest, Ann Coulter, Jonah Goldberg, Tom Tancredo, David Horowitz and many other Conservative speakers.

Keef is here for sure. At least one Simpsons writer too.

It is impossible for two monkeys having intercourse to bear a human child.

You saying you’re not human, Saul?

(Hey, you leave ’em hanging over the plate like that, they’re gonna get hit.)

Hey, saul.

Psst. I got a secret for you. But you got to promise not to tell the rest of your ilk.

That thing you said, that’s not the theory of evolution. Like everything else you ever say, it’s just blatantly wrong and stupid. Charles Darwin would be ashamed of you, and so would God for speaking ill of a dead man.

Yeah, it’s darn near impossible for Jonah Goldberg to get heard these days.

I hope Dawkins brought a cam bootlegs that shit

Shoelimpy, you wanna know what’s really sad? Chimpanzees and apes might just be more highly evolved than some people. These people, for example.

Here’s an article on the PZ Meyer’s expulsion.
http://www.twincities.com/allheadlines/ci_8653837?nclick_check=1

It is impossible for two monkeys having intercourse to bear a human child.

Or a bear for that matter.

Could have something to do with being a different SPECIES, asshat.

On my honor, I am not a violent man. But if I saw anything of Saul’s hanging over the plate, I’d be whaling on them with a baseball bat faster than a thirty-four-year-old virgin Gentile posting from his mom’s basement can say “Shalom, gentlemen”.

Okay liberal smartypants. If your precious theory of evolution has been scientifically proven than why aren’t we seeing any evolution today? Why aren’t humans being born with wings? why aren’t bears being born with flippers? Bears hunt near the water do they not? Show me where evolution is happening today, if its not you have no case.

saul,

I’ve been meaning to have a little chat with you and this seems like a good time.

See, the thing is, here and there throughout the history of you amusing little shites, I occasionally inspire someone with the truth. Socrates, Galileo, just to enjoy the reaction of you little things. I did build in *some* free will, by the will so even I don’t try to entirely predict everything (though I could, that would be boring – eternity and all that, y’know?)

So anyway, Darwin? Yep, I told what’s really gone down. I expected something like y’all’s reaction but it’s way beyond my expectations.

You peoples just crack me up.

Just point the ignorant cocksucker to the panda’s thumb and commence to ignoring it…

mikey

If your precious theory of evolution has been scientifically proven than why aren’t we seeing any evolution today?

Happens every day. VEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRYYYYYYY slowly. Check back in 15 thousand years or so. Who knows, maybe your descendants will have a functioning cerebral cortex.

If it happens very slowly than how can it be proven? I think its far more logical to believe God Almighty’s account of the Creation in Genesis than it is to base your beliefs on a unprovable hunch. To be honest I don’t have enough faith to believe in evolution. I’m a simple man which is why I choose to believe God at His Word.

But you have enough faith to believe the quite impossible and incredibly improbable account of the bible?

Okay, then. That’s sensible.

I’m having so much fun I’m gonna toss out another tidbit.

I put the prostate gland where it is for a very good reason. I also made sure to make rubbing it very, very pleasurable. And you still don’t get it!

I haven’t had this much fun since I appeared in that tortilla in Mexico City.

Those who aren’t evolving can’t appreciate, relate to, or understand evolution.

Remember, Saul comes from a 6000 year old planet. His forehead is low and ridged, his toes are webbed, and his parents resemble jellyfish. But not the jellyfish we know. Earth jellyfish are magnificent. Saul’s parents are more like…jellofish.

Why aren’t humans being born with wings?

Well, this is very simple.

Number one, to support flight, human bones would have to become very light, even hollow.

Second, we would have to develop a means to fly that would allow us to be supported by wind currents. Our arms are not currently developed to do that.

So, frankly, it’s just easier for our species to build the big metal birds to fly around in than evolve, over a period of hundreds of thousands of years, independent flight of a sub-species.

And then, well, humanity as is still wouldn’t be able to fly.

Of course, by then, humanity as is probably would’ve died out, due to whatever situation required hollow-boned flying people to breed in heavier amounts.

saulie, saulie saulie. The G-man didn’t write that piece of crap. I did. Actually, I farmed it out to a Jonah prototype, jst to see how badly he could screw it up.

Saul said,
March 22, 2008 at 0:22
To be honest I don’t have enough faith to believe in evolution. brain. I’m a simple man which is why I choose to believe God at His Word.ering idiot

To me it makes far more scientific sense for mankind to be created as they are now by God than for mankind to have formed through the intercourse of an entirely different species! Also how can something appear from nothing? Lets say you break a wrist watch into a million pieces put the pieces in a bag, and shake it. What are the chances of it forming into a watch again? So how can you explain your so called big bang theory?

Why aren’t humans being born with wings?

Because human ancestry doesn’t include anything with wings.

On the other hand, as ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny, we do occasionally get born with tails, gills and other stuff. You had them too, in the womb. No kidding.

Shorter Patkin: ‘Cos that would be st00pid.

Lets say you break a wrist watch into a million pieces put the pieces in a bag, and shake it. What are the chances of it forming into a watch again?

Actually, the chances are quite good.

To me it makes far more scientific sense for mankind to be created as they are now by God than for mankind to have formed through the intercourse of an entirely different species! Also how can something appear from nothing? Lets say you break a wrist watch into a million pieces put the pieces in a bag, and shake it. What are the chances of it forming into a watch again?

This is all wrong.

So how can you explain your so called big bang theory?

Well, I’m not a physics expert, but I’d say that you’re the one proposing a something-from-nothing equation.

The big bang theory, as far as I’m aware, is that after the last universe crunched back together into one, it exploded again and sent new shit all through the universe.

And that this has likely been going on over and over for trillions x trillions of years.

Also how can something appear from nothing?
That’s not evolution.

Lets say you break a wrist watch into a million pieces put the pieces in a bag, and shake it. What are the chances of it forming into a watch again? So how can you explain your so called big bang theory?

Neither is that. Thanks for playing.

Saul, if God exists why can’t you sit on your fat ass eating twinkies all day and watch The Bachelor without getting fat?

Your God is some mean son of a bitch!

Peej, that was awesome.

gee, thanks!

Ooops yet again.

I keep a link to that video in my bookmarks and watch it every now and then. I bow down before THAT creator!

If men evolved from monkeys, why do we still have monkeys?

If Eve was created from Adam, why do we still have men? If men were created from dirt, why do we still have dirt? If I build this bookcase out of wood, why do we still have trees?

Even assuming men evolved from monkeys, which isn’t actually what evolution says happened anyway, this is one of the world’s stupidest attempted Gotchas.

while I am sure it matters not a whit to Saul, speciation events have been observed scientifically. Goatsbeard wildflowers in Washington state, the Faroe island house mouse, fireweed plants, cichlid fishes in Lake Nagubago, Ragoletus pomonella, a fruit fly that is a parasite of the hawthron tree. talkorigins.org has a plentiful list of observed speciation events

Saul said,

Okay liberal smartypants. If your precious theory of evolution has been scientifically proven than why aren’t we seeing any evolution today?

Mutations in the antigenic structure of the influenza virus have resulted in a number of different influenza subtypes and strains. Specific varieties of the virus are generally named according to the particular antigenic determinants of hemagglutinin (13 major types) and neuraminidase (9 major types) surface proteins they possess, as in influenza A(H2N1) and A(H3N2). New strains of the influenza virus emerge due to a gradual process known as antigenic drift, in which mutations within the virus antibody-binding sites accumulate over time. Through this mechanism, the virus is able to largely circumvent the body’s immune system, which may not be able to recognize and confer immunity to a new influenza strain even if an individual has already built up immunity to a different strain of the virus. Both A and B influenza viruses continually undergo antigenic drift, but the reformulation of influenza vaccines each year often enables scientists to take into account any new strains that have emerged.

http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/cells/viruses/influenzavirus.html

MOST AWESOME IN HISTORY

I punched the air, seriously.

Show me where evolution is happening today

Saul, I sure hope you don’t have a run-in with a nice little dose of antibiotic-resistant tuberculosis, but if you do, take it as an educational bonus.

saul meet ebola, ebola meet saul. whop!

gbear, that’s what I was thinking too. Happens every day.

The fact is, we’re going to elect either a black man or white woman to be the next president of the united states. If that’s not evolution, nothing is.

Oh, really. You really wanna take the evolution/bible argument into the realm of astrophysics?

Better do a little reading.

Once again, the forces of logic and empiricism have really good data.

*SNAP*

You lose again.

Thanks for playing…

Don Pardo? Tell ‘im what he’s won….

mikey

Okay liberal smartypants. If your precious theory of evolution has been scientifically proven than why aren’t we seeing any evolution today?

I dunno, but after watching you flail around for a while, I’m starting to believe in de-evolution.

SAP:

We are not men, we are DEVO.

PeeJ: “Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny” describes the biogenetic law, an early and abandoned theory in developmental biology where the development of the embryo and neonate could be described as a series of stages resembling ancestral adult forms. That is, roughly, human embryos were supposed to go through a microbial stage, a fish stage, an amphibian stage, etc. up to birth; many forms of the theory then continued to model the child’s development as passing through stages resembling ancestral or “savage” mankind.

Recapitulation was rendered untenable by the discovery of genetics, which provides no feasible mechanism for it. The theory, and the phrase “ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny”, have been discredited for about 100 years. Baer’s laws are a better explanation of why embryos sometimes share characteristics with ancestral forms. Just letting you know.

Djur – Then why did my embryology Prof keep pointing out and testing us on the neonatal paleomorphisms? I’m not THAT fucking old! Sure, it was the 1970’s but c’mon!

That was where i learned the phrase, anyway.

Then too, it *was* a Jesuit university and Professor Father Doctor whoever it was was a little loopy albeit brilliant.

To me it makes far more scientific sense for mankind to be created as they are now by God than for mankind to have formed through the intercourse of an entirely different species!

Oh, I know! Human beings and chimpanzees only have 98.5% of their genetic code in common. Only a whacko would posit a relationship based upon that!

Or even a common ancestor…

mikey

Or even a common ancestor…

Well, if you think small changes over many generations can lead to new forms, then you’re just crazy talkin’.

Now, where are my rottweiler and my terrier?

Wow. Nothing brings out the “why-believe-in-science-when-talking-bushes-explain-everything” crowd like a good evolution thread.

Just FYI: I’ve “tuned” the Gary Ruppert algorithm somewhat so that it now employs occasional expressions of indignation and random flashes of “aggressively uninformed” argument, rather than the Mark I version’s predictably “Hal 9000” voice, which was easily pegged as a “concern troll.”

With some beta shakedowns and refinements in the Boolean parameters, I’m hoping that the improved Gary Ruppert will be able to pass a Turing Test sometime in 4Q 2008.

It is impossible for two monkeys having intercourse to bear a human child. If it was possible why doesn’t it happen today?

And yet I can’t find any pictures of your parents.

mikey,
hows about we point the ignorant thumbsucker at the panda’s cock?

http://www.allouttoons.com/simpsons/framegrabs/s12ep4/s12e056.jpg

SAP said,
March 22, 2008 at 2:45

Evolution is not a tide that lifts all boats, if ya know what I mean.

Brandi said,
March 22, 2008 at 5:00

He did say human child.

Also, I get a little worried about people who are sort of unnaturally hung up on monkeysex.

If ya know what I mean.

If men evolved from monkeys, why do we still have Saul and Gary?

Just when you thought the atavistic whackos might’ve run out of feet to shoot … BLAMMO!

Damn this is some lovely irony right here.
I believe the term I’m looking for is edutainment.
Learn while you giggle.

Also, kindly thank the troll for its own brand of edutainment, albeit minus the funny.

“I hope they found Dawkins and beat him up. That would have made me laugh.”

Wow.

Uh, you do know OTHER PEOPLE can read what you’re typing, right?
Richard Dawkins is what, in his 60s? 70s?
You’re even more of a sick sack of stupid than I thought.
Pull wings off flies in your spare time too, Bubba?

Yeah, it’s darn near impossible for Jonah Goldberg to get head these days.

Fixed that for you.

One hundredth!

Zed?

If men evolved from monkeys, why do we still have monkeys?

So that men could spank them, obviously.

It simply is not possible to make this shit up.

Haeckel’s early version of this hypothesis (that the embryo mirrors adult evolutionary ancestors) has since been rejected, and the hypothesis amended as the embryo’s development mirroring embryos of its evolutionary ancestors.

From the Wikipedia article on Phylogenetics

Saul said,
March 22, 2008 at 0:22

If it happens very slowly than how can it be proven? I think its far more logical to believe God Almighty’s account of the Creation in Genesis than it is to base your beliefs on a unprovable hunch. To be honest I don’t have enough faith to believe in evolution. I’m a simple man which is why I choose to believe God at His Word.

Fixeded. (If the strike command worked.)

Also, this.

The best anti-gotcha evidence for evolution — nylon-eating bacteria.

don’t mess with the Creator