Dude, I hadn’t wondered that until you mentioned it. Thank you.

(Wanders off to sanitize brain with bright green St Paddy’s Brain Cleanser)

Because Republican’s are not ashamed to ask God’s forgiveness, we should all forgive them their transgressions. In fact, we shouldn’t even mention them ever again.

The fact is…

Liberals?

Hmmmppfff!

“Anybody who looks at the two cases will see there is an enormous difference between the two of them.

Yeah, Spitzers’s hookers were classy.

I am not wondering if poop was involved.

Me neither, gbear.

As hilarious as that picture is, especially when I’ve seen it in Keyboard Kommandos, I’m still wondering if that’s some poor mentally handicapped person who has unwittingly, unknowingly, and undeservedly become the butt of many visual internet jokes. I continue to hope it’s some poor schlub with a diaper fetish. Because seriously, no one’s gonna come up with a better image to represent the average rightwing blogger/commenter/troll.

I think this is a good time to carefully review what I believe is possibly my favoritest Onion article evah.

“How can we rule objectively in this case without all the details? Yes, we know that the president inserted a cigar into Miss Lewinsky’s vagina, but just how many inches of it did he manage to work all the way up inside there?” Hyde asked. “What were their exact facial expressions at key moments of ecstatic release? To what extent did Miss Lewinsky’s ample bosom bounce to and fro as she vigorously bobbed her head up and down? Precisely how much of the president’s erect penis was Miss Lewinsky physically able to force deep into the back of her throat? Was there gagging involved? Were the president’s balls, at any point in the proceedings, licked? If we do not explore every possible detail of these shocking improprieties, we will never know the answers to these vital questions of national security.”

“If President Clinton has any respect for the Constitution and the citizens of this nation,” Hyde added, “he will cooperate fully in these proceedings and allow himself to be sucked off with calm, reserved dignity, without resorting to partisan name-calling. Nothing less than the very future of our country is at stake.”

Fat Freddy Scat.

No mention of Jeff “Gannon” Guckert?

Nobody cares who he was spending those nights at the White House with? Was white satin involved?

So many questions.

David Vitter called God at 3: am in the morning.

[Ring, ring]

God: Hello????
David Vitter: God please forgive me.
G: Who the hell is this???
DV: It’s me, David.
G: David who???
DV: Vitter. Please forgive me God.
G: Do you have any idea what time it is??? You freaking moron.
DV: Please God. You must forgive me.
G: Tell you what dumbass; I’ll forgive you if you never call me again.
DV: It’s a deal. Kthxbai. [Click]
G: Just wait till I get done with these assholes.

Well of course these two cases are totally different.

Vitter was being smeared for his stance on immigration, by America-haters!

Spitzer, on the other hand, was going after our heroic Banking Industry of the Motherland! Sieg Heil! How dare he! He should feel lucky to not be in Guantanamo.

Here’s a big difference between the two: The Justice Department leaked nothing on Vitter. The Spitzer story, however, has been a leak-a-thon, and the dope (or should I say poop?) ain’t coming from Client 9’s defense team.

As bad as this situation of Republican hypocrisy is, I still didn’t deserve to have to see that photo.

I hate that picture. It’s disgusting.

I am not wondering if poop was involved.

OK, see, it is at this juncture that the inherent shortcomings in the english language make themselves apparent.

Are you not wondering because you really don’t want to follow your mind down that particular path?

Or are you not wondering because you are certain you know the answerr?

Sorry to be wondering…

mikey

we’re still wondering uncomfortably whether feces was involved.
Verb-noun agreement, please.

Mikey, I apparently missed out on the gene that finds poop to be either noteworthy or interesting. Even skidmarks are distressing. The only poop I want to deal with is coated in kitty litter

and produced by kitties.

Verbs and nouns can’t always be friends, Smut.

Sometimes, a mommy noun and a daddy verb have an argument.

Speaking of laws, I’m going to sue your ass once I’m done clawing my eyes out.

Vitter — who is of course still in office — explains why adult-baby diaper sex with prostitutes is different from the you-know-what with you-know-who:

Gary Poopert: Shut up, that’s why.

I think ‘feces’ is a collective noun.

Though we never talked about it my collective. No sir, it was always ‘poop.’

a single poop would be a feci?

a fecus?

I’ve always assumed that when diapers are involved, there is a reason. I really can’t think of another reason to be going through the whole diaper thing, unless you’re a fecalphiliac, can you?

See ya got yer poop, which is a collective noun. As in “I collected up all dat poop in his diaper.” “You’re full of spiderpoop.” OPne doesn’t refer to “poops.”

Curiously enough, singular fecal units are often referred to as ‘poopies.’ “Aw, he smeared a poopies all over the Senate bill. Isn’t that *kewt*?”

This is turning into a linguistic gumbo,… of poo. I think Gavin is experiencing the same reaction to poop as gbear, he says “uncomfortably”, synonymous with “distressing”, which, by the way, is not exactly the antonym of “noteworthy or interesting”, that would be “ordinary or boring”, but rather of “soothing”, which is not what I perceived Mikey’s reaction to be. Please, people. Say what you mean.

Do you have to make unnnnh or hnnnn?

Fex. Or Fæx for extra points.

How did you get Jonah Goldberg to pose? Paid him in Cheetohs?

I actually know several people who are into this, to varying degrees, and I don’t know one person for whom poop has anything to do with it. Now, that 24/7 guy is obviously a lunatic, but I know several otherwise healthy, gainfully employed, highly educated people who enjoy what is known to them as ab/dl. Not something I enjoy personally, but to each his own. You’d never know just by meeting these people on the street.

So I always have a second thought when making jokes about Vitter. But don’t let that stop you guys, because after all part of what makes this site great is humor that has a bit of a bite to it. Just thought you might like to know there is such a thing as a well-adjusted and happy ab/dl.

Daddy verb has stormed off to the pub and mummy noun has locked herself in the bathroom again. It’s all Gavin M.’s fault.

.Vitteresque

“That’s not a flippant statement. I need to spend my whole life making up for that.”
—————————
He got bigger worries than making good with God. Honey, what’d you do with the Family Jewels.

Rant of the Day: The Vitters Should Apologize to the Clintons …

Fex. Or Fæx for extra points.

From Latin for dregs. And with regard to the case of the junior Senator from Louisiana, if they were involved, they’d be Dixie Dregs.

Now that I think about it, maybe ‘fecum.’

See why it’s always been ‘poop’ to me?

A st raunch conservative(tm), Vitter is.

oh bite me, preview.
Raunch Conservative, as in “B-musement Park” (“Yeah, I said it- a B-musement park”)

It’s interesting that Bitter would be “a bit defiant” when it’s pointed out he did the same as Spitzer. Why is he angry at being compared to Spitzer? Spitzer had hot Manhatten call girls, Vitter had New Orleans prostitutes and Depends. Embarrased, yes. Angry, no.

It seems that what’s really angering him is that Democrats are criticizing him. As if Democrats are so morally corrupt that the final straw is being criticized by them.

They actually believe all that BS that they make up. When they said they make their own reality, they meant it.

When they said they make their own reality, they meant it.

Yep, it’s not a pose. Vitter and Haggert and Craig all believe, deep down, that they are righteous, and better than others who do the very same things they themselves do.

It’s a staple of conservatism–believe me, I’ve known more than a few folks like this.

“The people that are trying to draw comparisons to the two cases are people who’ve never agreed with me on important issues like immigration and other things.”

When Vitter so wonderfully explains “important issues” like “other things”, and in such depth of detail, who can question his undeniable logic?

Gary Poopert: Shut up, that’s why.

Vitter needs to go. Not just because he paid for sex, but because he has the mentality of some right-wing blogger.

“As for the rest of us, we’re still wondering uncomfortably whether feces was involved.”

No need to wonder. Vitter was talking, wasn’t he?

Okay, I made the mistake of actually reading some of the freaky shit on that page… so now I’m going to return the favor:

Once, when I was buying plastic panties at a medical supply store, I mentioned to the woman standing next to me that I wet during the night and day and needed them. She replied that she had a 14 year old daughter who had the same problem. She was short on money so I offered to buy a pair for her daughter, and arranged to deliver them myself to her home.

Later that day I arrived at the women’s address. The girl was sitting on the bed and watching TV. I took the plastic panties and gave them to her, telling her that I was wearing the very same type. The mother told her daughter that “the young man wants to see you in them so he knows that they fit well”. She went into the kitchen and when she returned she lifted her skirt so the plastic panties showed in full view. It felt like a dream to me. When they were leaving I even helped the mother put the girl’s shoes on, telling her that if she was my daughter I would treat her like a queen and change her diapers. Unfortunately one week later they moved away.

Gee, ya think they were going to stay in that house now that creepy, diaper-wearing pedophile knew where they lived? Please tell me that’s made up.

Yeah, I didn’t really need to read that. Fortunately, no responsible parent would let this quivering freak anywhere near their 14 year old daughter, so yes, I think it’s safe to say he made that up. I guess if I’m ever feeling down I can revisit that page so I can thank Christ I’m not compelled by any really embarrassing fetishes.

sometimes, a mommy noun and a daddy verb have an argument

i’m sorry, but it’s pretty obvious that nouns are the daddies and verbs are the mommies.

now that I think about it, maybe ‘fecum.’

see why it’s always been ‘poop’ to me?

no shit.

Would that all parents were responsible, tb.

I have it on good evidence that the photo was snapped by Lucianne Goldberg.

gbear said,

The only poop I want to deal with is coated in kitty litter

and produced by kitties.

Here ya go.

Sorry…

You know, you people are always sorry after you leave us your cultural feces to mop up…

“Anybody who looks at the two cases will see there is an enormous difference between the two of them. The people that are trying to draw comparisons to the two cases are people who’ve never worn diapers in a whorehouse and put a spanking on their credit card.”