Shorter Michelle Malkin
Posted on March 12th, 2008 by Brad
The Spitzer resignation countdown clock
- Watch me snort and guffaw about Eliot Spitzer’s resignation while conveniently ignoring the fact that David Vitter and Larry Craig still have jobs.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
I’d love to be a fly on the wall in Vitter’s office today. He must be curled up under his desk with the door bolted and the phone line ripped out of the wall. Hope he’s puking his guts out.
He’s not. Trust me. He knows the GOP will put zero pressure on him to step down.
He’s probably scheduling to get blown as we speak.
Liberals are only making a big deal out of this because they hate America and want to remove conservative politicans from office.
Liberals and homosexuals should be dragged on the streets and shot.
liberals hmf
It’s funny; New York State Republicans are in a minority in the state house, and the *first* words out of of their mouths were ‘Impeachment’ and it wasn’t followed by “is off the table”. And Spitzer had approval ratings above 19%. Fancy that.
Vitter, meanwhile can sit forever in his office in his diaper having succeeded David Duke and Bob Livingston in previous offices (the GOP-lock “Racist Asshole” and “Sexual Deviant” seats in the LA House and US House, respectively) and not a a peep is heard. In fact, it’s central to my point.
Well, that was quick. Has a republican ever had such a short turnaround from gotcha to unemployed?
Why would Vitter quit when his peers gave him an ovation after the diaper scandal? It’s not the hookers, of course, it’s the wall street investigations. Can’t let regulation interfere with the government bailing out banks and hedge funds free hand of the market.
Does that mean that Spitzer’s endorsement of Hillary is no longer valid, or just that it will cost $4,000 this time?
Strikethrough, you’re a tease.
Remember Bob Allen! Malkin wins! Liberal fascists lose!
When most banks notice something odd about a transaction on a wealthy, powerful client’s account, they call the client. Spitzer’s bank called the IRS. Now that’s service.
David Vitter and Larry Craig still have jobs.
And various folks in the executive branch.
Just remember, it’s not about the sex, it’s about the coverup.
Except that it’s also about the sex.
Why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed?
The fact is, you are smearing God fearing USA Republicans with this lies about them being gay or having hookers, when there is nothing? When YOUR guy is clearly biased against moral values and he needs to resign now and stop interferening with the free market.
And lest we forget, a male prostitute is known to have spent the night at the White House. I don’t recall the DOJ launching an all out effort to discover the john and leak his name that time. Must have slipped their minds.
It seems that the ban on prostitution is the major hindrance to the free flowing of the market here. You cannot serve both God and Mammon?
Just sayin’
Gary, my old soup tureen old chum, prosecuting prostitution IS interfering with the free market.
If the best that can be said for Democrats is that they resign when caught, sorry, but that’s a pretty low bar.
The fact is, the system worked. An emeny of capitalism and the USA has been taken down. That’s why we have these laws. All this meowing about Vitter? What did he do? Spitzer extorted billions out of Wall St. and therefore from YOU. You should shut up.
The ban on prostitution does mean that no taxes have to be paid on the services, so Republicans probably like that aspect of it. In fact, all they have to do is declare everything illegal, to remove all traces of business regulation. Heh.
You should shut up.
Reminds me of something….oh yeah, when another paint-thinner-drinking lunatic Ace was caught with the same sexual hypocricy…
I know what the liberals are asking: Why is [Spitzer] such a big deal, and Sen. David Vitter’s previous experience with call girls isn’t?
Shut up, that’s why.
I think you mean mewling, gary, as in “puking and mewling in his mother’s arms.” That’s Shakespeare; don’t you read the Great Whites?
Spitzer extorted billions out of Wall St.
Wow, with so much strong evidence of wrong-doing, it’s interesting that the DOJ only seemed to focus on the lame-ass prostitution thing, isn’t it?
Susan, my texan friend, you may be onto something. If all business were illegal, all business would be something like 1920’s bootlegging. Whoever has the most goons, the biggest connections, and the deepest pockets wins. Everyone else is a sucker or a dead sucker.
Spitzer messed with the wrong people so they went Al Capone on him, legally speaking. Give the Republicans a few more years in power and let Rugged in MT have his gun laws, and the “legally” bit will no longer be required.
Btw, gary, since the economy is going along so great, I recommend you buy financials and home builders, to show your support for Wall Street. Those areas are taking a hit now, bounce notwithstanding. And you should definiely put all of your retirement money, if any, in the stock market, like the President has demanded.
Pedestrian, don’t forget about the government. Why pay taxes for an army when you can have the president hire mercenaries under the table? Wall Street could run the market like a bookie. And all the roads, bridges, government buildings, and services could have an automated gun instead of a EZ tag reader. Pay to use the toll road or else.
Oh, Gary, don’t forget about Iraq! You wouldn’t want to miss out on all the windfall gains that the surge is producing! Buy now while the lie-berals are keeping the price deflated and you could make a fortune that will make all your overeducated dhimmi friends whine like welfare queens!
“It’s Okay If You’re A Republican”
Publicly revealing classified information during “wartime” — OK
Consorting with hookers — OK (even outside of Nevada)
Lingering in cruisy toilets — OK
Ditching your wife in order to hook up with younger, hotter chick — OKOKOK
Using government funds/personnel/resources for partisan political purposes — OK
Spying on US citizens without a warrant — OK
Who would like to add to the list?
Who would like to add to the list?
Impeachment.
It all falls under the general premise that anything is ok as long as it’s done by Republicans.
And lest we forget, a male prostitute is known to have spent the night at the White House. I don’t recall the DOJ launching an all out effort to discover the john and leak his name that time.
The only thing I can figure out is that the WH must have paid Guckert in cash. Either that or they stiffed him. Double entendre intended.
Susan, Pedestrian,
Whoever has the most goons, the biggest connections, and the deepest pockets wins. Everyone else is a sucker or a dead sucker.
I’m reading a book right now called Market Forces that has something like that as its premise.
All government regulation has more-or-less gone away and the big financial houses hire “analysts” who are as much paid killer as financial whiz. They openly “invest” in small wars around the world and kill each other for the opportunity.
Those with the money have free rein to do as they please; the little people live in what amount to favelas with no protection, no security.
It is not as much of a distortion of where we’re headed as one might expect.
It isn’t a great book but it’s pretty good and presents some interesting ideas.
g said,
March 12, 2008 at 19:07
And lest we forget, a male prostitute is known to have spent the night at the White House. I don’t recall the DOJ launching an all out effort to discover the john and leak his name that time.
I thought that was *multiple* nights at the White House.
Conservatives Without Conscience, indeed.
Spitzer extorted billions out of Wall St.
Er…wha?
<Wall Street could run the market like a bookie. And all the roads, bridges, government buildings, and services could have an automated gun instead of a EZ tag reader.
I think you’re on to something. Walk Wall Street next time you get a chance. It’s swarming by high-paid security contractors with automatic rifles.
Who needs the police when you can pay for an army?
For the IOKIYAR list:
– cocaine use “as a youthful indiscretion” (i.e. before age 60)
– DUI’s
– out-of-control deficit spending
– shady deals with China
– emboldening the enemy
– endangering the troops
– undercutting the authority of the Commander in Chief when troops are in the field
– being a douchebag
Well, speaking of the free market, it’s alive and well. While googling Spitzer’s career, I found at the top of the list sites that are selling “Client 9” tee-shirts.
Just makes you feel warm and good all over about ‘Murka.
For the IOKIYAR list:
– Killing your boyfriend after he breaks up with you, by drunkenly driving a motor vehicle: CHECK
– Torture: CHECK
– Making incredibly awful YouTube videos in a horrible cheerleader outfit: CHECK
– Saddling generations of Americans with debt while squandering a huge budget surplus and ALL the goodwill of the world: CHECK
– Being lying, cheating, pathetic fucks: CHECK
Gary Ruppert, it really is funny to see you here like a bad rash that won’t go away despite the liberal use of topical cream.
How does that piss in your mouth taste? Next time, try not doing it in the wind. You get nasty blowback that way. 🙂
Found on teh internets:
For someone like Gannon to be there, apparently sleeping over, on twelve different nights seems curious.
I guess his rates are too low to trigger any sort of automatic notification.
More for the IOKIYAR list:
Anything involving the wearing of multiple wetsuits
Filibustering
Believing you are somehow better than those that you ship off to fight your battles
Stalking 12 year old accident victims
The complete misuse of punctuation and grammar (hmm, on second thought, that might be a feature, not a bug.)
I just saw this statement from the U.S. Attorney’s office (via Talking Points Memo):
Which I read as “No deal has been finalized yet.”
What exactly would be the charge over which they’d be negotiating? If it’s a violation of the White-Slave Traffic Act, the crossing state lines thing, they’d have to bring the same charge against a number of the other numbered clients listed in the criminal complaint. There certainly is probable, and they can’t selectively charge Client 9. (Also, see Scott Horton on the statute’s past application.) Structuring? That seems to me to be pretty weak. Is it a crime in and of itself to structure wire payments to a front company? After all Spitzer wasn’t money laundering. Can one make legitimate (not illegal) but suspicious (SAR triggering) payments to the front company of a criminal enterprise to cover the cost of future prohibited activities?
Damn. There certainly is probable cause…
IOKIYAR to let Osama bin Laden’s financial adviser and nuclear proliferater A.Q Khan remain at liberty in Pakistan.
declare everything illegal, to remove all traces of business regulation.
Then it would be like that Star Trek episode, and Barack and Hill could do like Kirk and Spock (I don’t know who is which!) and affect accents and wear cheap suits and ask for A Piece Of The Action . . . that would be great.
Spitzer was just reverting to his tough prosecutor ways: after all, a harlot has a 30% chance to know valuable information, especially if she is an expensive doxy.
http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/03/05/great-moments-in-gyg.html
IOKIYAR additions:
* Rewarding Halliburton for delivering filthy water to combat troops while crowing about how much you support the troops: CHECK
* Anything Alberto Gonzales ever did: CHECK
* Reverting to racist excuses when caught trying to solicit an undercover cop in a public bathroom to perform a blowjob on HIM: CHECK
* Using your city-owned computer to troll for gay underage sex all the while voting and speaking vociferously against any kind of marriage parity for GLBT Americans: CHECK
Ed Note: Guess you already got your comeuppance, Jim West!!
I’d love to be a fly on the wall in Vitter’s office today. He must be curled up under his desk with the door bolted and the phone line ripped out of the wall. Hope he’s puking his guts out.
Nope, he’s not puking. He is, however, messing his diaper with fear. Too bad he doesn’t have anyone to change it for him.
If he wants that he has to pay extra.
46.
IOKIYAR to let Osama bin Laden remain at liberty in Pakistan.
He’s not. Trust me. He knows the GOP will put zero pressure on him to step down.
I wonder if the wife will have the TV on and turned up pretty loud when he gets home this evening? Hope he remembers to stop and buy some flowers.
NEWSFLASH:
Geraldine Ferraro, on the resignation of Elliot Spitzer:
“If David Paterson was a white man – and, you know, could see things – he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman [of any color] he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the state of New York is caught up in the concept.”
MUST CREDIT SOME GUY ON THE INTERNET
Hope he remembers to stop and buy some flowers.
If they’re planted in front of a mansion far from New York. If you are into physical tokens of expression, flowers are for when you miss your anniversary. Global humilation calls for real estate.
Global humilation calls for real estate.
Maybe something abutting the Bush’s property in Paraguay? I hear it’s beautiful country.
Just curious – we’ve seen that Malkin pic for ages, but I never thought much about the background. Where the heck is she being taped? Is that a green-screen fake library, or is it her home, or is it some fake Olde English Study studio set?
I’m sure MM and Gomer and Ace will be getting right on this story any minute now, disputing that it ever happened.
Severed fingers in the mail. The green, green grass of home is sounding just about right.
It’s my library. Michelle often comes by to chat and sacrifice baby animals.
MUST CREDIT SOME GUY ON THE INTERNET
Whoops, amending an e-mail I’m sending…thanks!
Sorry Susan, I was refering to Vetter with my comment about the wife, the TV, and flowers. I was playing it a little too coy.
No, I wasn’t paying proper attention.
(I wonder if Mrs. Vitter was welcomed back to her social circle as eagerly as her husband was?)
Wow, heck of a personal secretary you have there, Susan.
Oh, @#$%. As usual.
So is Malkin the asian chick in that Whip It video by Devo? The resemblance is uncanny.
It’s my library. Michelle often comes by to chat and sacrifice baby animals.
It is time the painting in the background was changed again. How about a Wain cat, for the suitable ambience?
I’d love to be a fly on the wall in Vitter’s office today.
Any day! Poopy diapers are heaven to flies.
Satan already has a new painting to put up.
From now on, assume any grossly mis-matched name is mine. I give up.
I think you guys darkened that picture…/snark.
Trollop.
LOLzers.
Structuring? That seems to me to be pretty weak. Is it a crime in and of itself to structure wire payments to a front company? After all Spitzer wasn’t money laundering. Can one make legitimate (not illegal) but suspicious (SAR triggering) payments to the front company of a criminal enterprise to cover the cost of future prohibited activities?
The structuring makes no sense. If the hooker charged $27,000 for a blow job, and Spitzer paid with three $9,000 payments, that would be structuring. As none of the charges were above $10,000, how could it be structuring to pay less than $10,000 for them?
As for the Mann act, Spitzer has a good selective prosecution defense. So what is left for a federal prosecution? Nada. My prediction is Spitzer walks, and the investigation into why he was prosecuted becomes a hot issue once John Edwards become AG.
how does her head not explode every time she looks at her own brown face in the mirror?
Screencap says it all.
You can draw that woman’s EEG with a ruler.
Still trying to Javex that war-porn cheerleader routine out of my lobes.
Conclusive proof that Intelligent Design is an invalid thesis.
It is time the painting in the background was changed again.
Test of concept.
At least we can all be glad that the sketchy constitutionality of bank surveillance and wiretaps, while not exactly helpful in catching Al Qaeda, are proving pivotal in the fight against millionaires who get their knobs expensively polished.
The structuring makes no sense. If the hooker charged $27,000 for a blow job, and Spitzer paid with three $9,000 payments, that would be structuring. As none of the charges were above $10,000, how could it be structuring to pay less than $10,000 for them?
If this Newsday story is to be believed, Spitzer made over $10,000 in payments to Emperor’s Club VIP’s front company into a series of transfers of under $10,000, supposedly to avoid the required reporting procedure for a transaction of at least 10K. If true, would this be structuring as a criminal offense? Does there have to be money laundering for there to be structuring?
As for the Mann act, Spitzer has a good selective prosecution defense.
Yes, unless they go after Clients 1-8 and 10. Whee!
My prediction is Spitzer walks
Maybe, as part of a final deal, the U.S. Attorney declines to bring charges.
and the investigation into why he was prosecuted becomes a hot issue once John Edwards become AG.
One can only hope, on both the investigation and the AG overseeing it.
Smut Clyde, that kitten doesn’t believe Malkin either.
Yeah, well at least our guy was banging chicks.
But he was paying thru the NOSE to do it…
mikey
But he was paying thru the NOSE to do it…
Big spending liberals.
Big spending liberals.
I bet it was taxpayer money, too!
Is that picture of Malkin photoshopped to make her eyes look just a little crossed, or is she really that bugfuck insane-looking?
Every time I see that picture of Malkin I laugh ..
It’s sooo freaking funny…
I bet it was taxpayer money, too!
WRONG – it was his own bankroll, dude.
is she really that bugfuck insane-looking?
Umm, she’s really that bug-fuck insane looking. When you’ree that deluded and hateful, it shows in your face – it’s why she’s so dog-ass-ugly!