Sgt. Furry’s Howlin’ Sleight-Of-Handos
It was a perfectly nice Sunday morning until ol’ Daffy LePew came around:
Obama, Power, and Obama Power; Letters to a Blogger
[…]
Have you read Jonah Goldberg’s tour de force Liberal Fascism?1 If he’s right — and he certainly knows more about the subject than I — then the purpose of Samantha Power’s major foreign-policy proposals — to send American forces to carve up Israel and hand over choice pieces to the Palestinians, and to precipitously flee Iraq while ethnically cleansing the inhabitants — is not to achieve any particular result.
The purpose of them is simply to do them. “Action, action, action!”, that is the watchword: simply to do something… anything!
Liberal fascists abhor the status quo more than anything else; the driving force behind this detestation may well be simple boredom, as Goldberg suggests (see previous post); they’re filled with…
Oh, so that’s why — with the military destruction of Israel and the ethnic cleansing of Iraq, and so forth. We were wondering where those policy proposals came from.
Let it not be said that Dafydd Ab Hugh2 has failed to master a kit-bag of rhetorical devices since the Internet first called him to service.
Compare the following ‘builds’ of a typical Ab Hugh assertion: The first is in the style of the earnest, turnip-cheeked lad of various discussion boards and political crank forums, while the second represents the ripe and magisterial man-of-the-couch, regally astew in his own farts. The actual idea that Ab Hugh is forwarding is in each case highlighted:
- BWAHA! I didst receive an email from [mumble mumble] admitting that Barack Obama is the American Hitler-Mussolini, which I shallst not reproduce. BLAR-HAR! Beholdeth a most excellent proof that thou WRONG-wing LIEberals art forsooth inferior in cogitation to mineself, prithee, avaunt. BWAHA! There isth no intelligent life here, Scotty, beameth me thou uppe!
- If Jonah Goldberg’s acclaimed book is correct, then seeing as Barack Obama is the American Hitler-Mussolini, we can easily understand the senseless plans for mass ethnic murder (bwaha) that his advisers propose.
Smooth shifting there, no? The part about ethnic cleansing is like Penn Jillette’s painted pinky nail — while you’re distracted by it, he’s doing something obvious with his other hand
The aptly named Samantha Power plays Wormtongue to Obama’s Saruman.
Then again, sometimes he regresses.
Bonus Ab Hugh fun (from the very same post):
All that matters is to install a government led by a Great Man (Obama) who will quickly and decisively “solve our problems” by acting, rather than thinking or debating. Democracy is just too darn slow; all Congress ever does is talk and talk. We need rule by emergency decree to keep up with the changing times!
The people will simply have to jettison their quaint, old-fashioned ideas about individual liberty; the individual must be prepared to subordinate himself to the needs of the many. “Everything inside the state; outside the state, nothing.” Private ownership of property is acceptable — so long as all property is controlled by the state.
But, one may rightly ask, what about the inherently absolute executive powers of George W. Bush? Oh, that’s different:
Your position is that the President has supreme authority to interpret how he executes the law and which laws he ignores for his own purposes, which is not how American democracy is supposed to work.
That is exactly and precisely how American democracy is supposed to work. Same with signing statements, same with recess appointements. “Congress proposes, the president disposes.”
(Emphasis his.) Also, if you so much as slow down to ponder the contradiction, it means you’re a super Nazi fascist, starting right…now.
…No backs, double tax, infinity.
1 Also Cf.
2 Not a genuine Welshman.
to precipitously flee Iraq while ethnically cleansing the inhabitants
Not as easy as it sounds. Just ask the Lord Humongous.
People are still getting themselves into a tiz over Liberal Fascism? Oh dear. Has it been selling well? And are most of those who’ve bought it outraged lefties?
Nice pic!
However, I believe you have a problem with your link to Liberal Fascism.
[Hanx! added a link in the endnotes]
Giving an excuse for Hugh LePew and his ilk to make such staements is, of course, central to Jonah the Whale’s point in writing the cursed tome in the first place.
So, not only to liberals want to commit genocide in Iraq (before handing it over to al Qaeda), as well as hand over Israel to Palestine (because the US government so totally has the power to do that), apparently, we want to do this for no particular reason, other then boredom.
What’s so apt about “Samantha Power”? I think he’s been binging on the Austin Powers trilogy (which also explains his belief that liberals are arbitrarily… evil? *pinky fingers*), and is losing even more of a grip on reality.
Why are these retards so hard to beat in elections?
Why are these retards so hard to beat in elections?
Worst Prom on Earth.
Why are these retards so hard to beat in elections?
If there is one truism that will serve you well to remember, it is this one:
Never forget that half of all people are below average.
This guy is publicly admitting that he knows less than Jonah Goldberg?! Damn. That’s some serious humility he’s got going.
Obama wants to hand Palestine over to the Palestinians?? That’s a new one.
I particularly love that “action, action, action” thing, given that leftists warning against the newest “teh best war ever to liberate teh peoples” are routinely accused of advocating… “doing nothing” about (a suitable subset of) {genocide, oppression of women, torture chambers}.
Gavin – I believe the photo would be better served by the caption, “Le Mew….Le Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.”
Daffy has never looked better. Y’know, his wikipedia page lacks a photo . . .
We’re going to ethnically cleanse Iraq and then leave?
What on earth does he mean by this? And why is it(other than projections – my question is rhetorical) that these wingnuts make assertions that seem to be positively mobius-like in their twisting of the facts at hand?
Even if I were to take what he says completely in good faith, I have no clue what he means here.
But in fact – it is the opponents of the war that point out that the unfortunate result of of US policies is the ethnic cleansing of Sunnis. The war’s supporters simply say that the Surge Is Working! because there’s now peace in these neighborhoods. Well, yeah – because they’re vacant.
And it is he and his ilk that are unabasedly proud of their anti-Arab, anti-Islam bias, who would prefer that all Arabs be killed.
So what the fuck is he talking about here?
kquote>So what the fuck is he talking about here?
My tribe good. Your tribe bad.
and he certainly knows more about the subject than I
Are negative values are even defined for knowledge?
That’s what I’d like to know. First of all, the sentence after he mentions LF is so convoluted that I had to read it at least six times to understand it. It’s the worst case of using dashes to prevent it from being a run-on sentence. Then he pulls out of his ass that Powers wants to destroy Israel and commit genocide in Iraq with absolutely zero evidence. Then he says that she isn’t doing it to fulfill a particular ideology or agenda… but just for shits and giggles! Wheeee!
But of course Samantha Powers is wants to destroy Israel and commit genocide in Iraq fulfill a particular ideology or agenda…
It’s called Worldwide Obamamination, people!
to precipitously flee Iraq while ethnically cleansing the inhabitants
that is, genocide while cutting and running
Waitwaitwait… are Daffy and Jonah seriously arguing that fascists don’t have *goals*? That ‘action for action’s sake’ means anarchy, doing stuff at random, as if Hitler picked a slip marked ‘invade Poland’ out of a hat?
Never mind the liberals; genuine fascists should be up in arms about this book. There should be neo-Nazis protesting this misrepresentation of their viewpoint – say what you want about the tenets of National Socalism, at least it’s an ethos! – picketing outside Jonah’s mother’s basement 24-7…
Sure. Of course. This makes perfect sense.
January 30th, 2009. President Obama is bored.
“Goddam it. I’m bored. Bored, bored, bored. What’s this? Asian economic report? Bo RING! How bout this? Intel report for upcoming EU ministers meeting? Dood, are you Effin’ KIDDING me? I didn’t go through all that Primary CRAP AND the general election to do this shit. This is so boring I’m bored just trying to come up with ways to describe how boring it is. I know. Get me the joint chiefs of staff. I want to launch a strike on…Um, let’s see, where should I hit? It needs to be surprising, and kind of funny. I know. Mexico City! Let’s just launch a couple days worth of bombing from San Diego. That’ll make things interesting for a while. Yeah. Meanwhile, let’s see what we can do to fuck with Israel. Get me Abbas on the phone. I’ll get him wound up and pointed east. Yeah, oughta be some laughs in that. Get a 12 pack in here, we’re on a roll…”
mikey
Jonah and Daffy are misunderstanding a common observation about ideological Fascism — that it exalts action for its own sake — to mean that Fascists do things for no reason, acting without motive.
It’s a grossly stupid misunderstanding, but as usual, a convenient one for the arguments they’re trying to float.
Next time it’ll be something else, maybe the opposite.
Conservatives (And I have to assume liberals, too) tend to assign these incredibly complex ideological motivations to behaviors that are actually very simple and human.
For example, I was on a message board about movies, and one of the posters was saying that Hollywood criticises Christians in ways they’d never criticise Muslims, and he had a very complex theory about why this was so. Basically, he theorised that Hollywood bigwigs were heavily Marxist, and held that to improve society one must first tear down the status quo.
Me, I think it’s just because entertainers don’t like to kick people while they’re down. Christians have lots of power in this country, and Muslims have hardly any, so picking on Muslims would feel like kicking somebody while they are down. I mean, Muslims already get enough shit as it is.
The same thing here; I think Obama’s rhetoric is vague not because of his liberal fascist ideology, but because specifics take more time to impart on people, and the broader the rhetoric, the broader the appeal.
There’s no need to imagine an elaborate ideology derived from a completely foreign mindset.
Although Hugh also says this:
Is it possible he’s just fucking with us?
Tour de force? WTF? This isn’t Arnold fucking Toynbee he’s talking about – it’s fucking Doughy Pantload. God, these people are morons.
If the conservatives had their way and commenced to bomb up, use up, dry up, and lock up the country, it wouldn’t be the God-fearin’, gun-and-flag-wavin’, spoiled and absolute wingnuts who would survive, it would be the people who live in the real world and adapt to circumstances.
That is the sexiest picture of Daffy I’ve ever seen.
Although Hugh also says this:
All that matters is to install a government led by a Great Man (Obama) who will quickly and decisively “solve our problems” by acting, rather than thinking or debating. Democracy is just too darn slow; all Congress ever does is talk and talk. We need rule by emergency decree to keep up with the changing times!
It’s projection. It’s all they ever do.
If only. The ‘liberal fascism’ thing is classic projection, and Ab Hugh is one of the least self-aware of all these characters. He has no idea what fascism is, but if it’s ‘bad’ then the liberals must be guilty of it.
Tour de force? WTF? This isn’t Arnold fucking Toynbee he’s talking about – it’s fucking Doughy Pantload. God, these people are morons.
No, but Herbert Butterfield might have been amused by him.
The Republican View of History: All past events transpired so that Americans could have fun playing with their big shiny weapons – and all of the meanies who ever tried to stop them are fascists.
I won’t really think it’s funny until the GOP goes the way of the Whigs, but I’m smirking on the inside
All that matters is to install a government led by a Great Man (Obama) who will quickly and decisively “solve our problems” by acting, rather than thinking or debating.
I started counting how many things are wrong with just that single statement but then I gave up. I mean, I already lost an hour today . . .
That is the sexiest picture of Daffy I’ve ever seen.
He is best known for his participation in Trekkie conventions, but he only gets laid at an even fringier festival
Goddam it. I’m bored. Bored, bored, bored. What’s this? Asian economic report? Bo RING! How bout this? Intel report for upcoming EU ministers meeting? Dood, are you Effin’ KIDDING me? I didn’t go through all that Primary CRAP AND the general election to do this shit. This is so boring I’m bored just trying to come up with ways to describe how boring it is. I know. Get me the joint chiefs of staff. I want to launch a strike on…
Mikey lays down the most compelling narrative yet of the leadup to the Iraq War.
I mean, I already lost an hour today . . .
Oh, oh, Mortician? I know where it is! Look under the sofa in early November…
mikey
“God, these people are morons.”
I can’t improve on this. No one can. It’s the Unified Field Theory of Wingnutisme. You have morons theorizing to other morons, and then the other morons “basically agree” with the first moron while perhaps taking exception here and there with the finer points of the moronica.
Then the first moron “admiringly” concedes that the other morons may have a point, although “time will tell.” Then, like chimpanzees, all the morons applaud for each other and themselves.
And that’s how the Blues was born. No, sorry, that’s how The Corner was born.
I’m just embarassed for Dafydd that he ever had anything to do with the computer game Doom past, like, 1997.
Awesome News for Republicans!
Fortunately, I’m on my way to work and don’t have time to wade into this … incoherent conglomerate of pig droppings.
Love the title, love the picture, but you may’ve permanently ruined Nick Fury comics and Pepe LePew cartoons for me. But it was worth it, I think.
The ‘liberal fascism’ thing is classic projection, and Ab Hugh is one of the least self-aware of all these characters.
For example. Also, Hinderaker works on a mash note of his own.
OT, but it comforts me to think that it’s very unlikely that either Clinton or Obama would snap at their Chief of Staff to go get some cheeseburgers.
Not to step on your turf, Mikey, but you did miss an easy one:
“All right, you’ve covered your ass then.”
to precipitously flee Iraq while ethnically cleansing the inhabitants
I think this means, that as the U.S. soldiers are Cutting and Running, they will have orders to give a quick sponge bath to any Iraqis they encounter. But they have to do it while wearing quaint and colorful native garb.
Gawd but Hinderaker is a gushy twit. The production values are first rate? The music is perfect? I actually watched that ad. It’s muddy and incoherent, and McCain’s voice is especially whiny in comparison to Winnie’s growl.
Note to St. John: that’s right, keep comparing yourself to guys who invariably look stronger than you as well as devoting big chunks of those ads to footage that reminds us of where your PTSD came from. That’ll work.
[updated a bit, btw]
> “Goddam it. I’m bored. Bored, bored, bored. What’s this? Asian economic report? Bo RING! How bout this? Intel report for upcoming EU ministers meeting? Dood, are you Effin’ KIDDING me? I didn’t go through all that Primary CRAP AND the general election to do this shit. This is so boring I’m bored just trying to come up with ways to describe how boring it is. I know. Get me the joint chiefs of staff. I want to launch a strike on…Um, let’s see, where should I hit? It needs to be surprising, and kind of funny. I know. Mexico City! Let’s just launch a couple days worth of bombing from San Diego. That’ll make things interesting for a while. Yeah. Meanwhile, let’s see what we can do to fuck with Israel. Get me Abbas on the phone. I’ll get him wound up and pointed east. Yeah, oughta be some laughs in that. Get a 12 pack in here, we’re on a roll…”
Isn’t that a word-for-word transcription of a typical day with chimp?
I’m chairman of the bored.
Let’s break some shit.
So… liberal foreign policy is based on ennui…
If it’s excitement that we’re after, we need to rethink what we’re doing. These spit-spats in the Middle East have been going on for decades and it’s getting really tedious. Iraq is especially mind-numbing – all flat, dry, empty, and drab. We should start fighting wars in places with more dramatic landscapes, like Yosemite. Tibet would work… maybe we could ask the Chinese if they’d mind if we invaded.
And we need better enemies. Osama was fun for awhile, but his emotional range is limited. Something even more exotic and weird could ramp up the thrills. For example, going to war against an alliance of evil space aliens, Zulu warriors, and bloodthirsty pirates would be ideal.
Plus, we need to do something about our uniforms – let’s face it, this is dullsville. We have to start outfitting and equipping our troops in a more visually exciting style.
I actually think we’ve fallen behind in the space race. Once we take full ownership of the moon, we can send up mines and arrange them so that the explosions could create a series of craters resembling a goofy face emoticon. 😛
That’ll show ’em we’re serious.
I think Daffyd has just been reading Megan McArdle’s blargh — I mean, blog — and suffering cruel pangs of envy that he’s not getting the same sweet, sweet Wingnut Wanker love (meaning, of course, CASH). What makes her so much more compensatable than me?, he asks his alter-ego. She is narcissistic? So am I! She uses long words and threadbare rhetorical devices to disguise her lack of thought? I’ve been longwinded & rhetorical since before the Giant Elf left Miss Havisham’s Upper East Side Finishing School! She is ‘spritely’? I can do ‘spritely’! I can sprite my furry arse off! Here, have a big fat helping of Spritely, you guys!….
Snorghagen’s onto something. What if we fought these guys dressed like this? That wouldn’t be boring.
I’m sorry, Mort, but if I have to fight ugly hairless monsters, I don’t want to do it while wearing an entire furniture store. Maybe that’s just me, though…
mikey
I support Snorghagen’s pirate themed military adventure scheme.
Yeah, I know, mikey. Maneuverability could be a problem. But the knives are way cool and you gotta admit, the look is pretty intimidating. Certainly more impressive than this guy.
I’m texting this post from my northern lot line, where I’m patrolling for possible Marxists (a compadre on the local CB radio network saw a car with an Obama sticker driving out this way). I’ve got my M1 Battle Rifle strapped to my back in case things get crazy and my daypack is dense with C4, Bloodstopper Paks and personal hygine products. About 200 yards back I came across tracks in the mixed mud and snow, and they looked like those “Crocs” that degenerate Leftists seem to favor. The tracks can’t be more than 3-4 hours old and I’ve just happened upon a vegan protein bar wrapper caught blowing on the brambles so common on this hill. I’m close. Do I see the top of one of those overblown Uncle Sam style hats that hippies wear, or is my mind playing tricks on me? I’ve been awake for over 60 hours now, fighting the good fight, posting on various liberal forums while crawling around on my belly out here in the brush. What I thought was a hippie hat turned out to be the flag on Ed McHulsen’s porch….a let out a relieved breath and lift my finger off of the side of my Glock’s triggerguard. I’m going to move upwind, to the northeast, to see if any of my mantraps have been tripped by infiltrating Islamoliberals. Developing…
This is central to my point!
my daypack is dense with C4, Bloodstopper Paks and personal hygine products
General? Is that you?
Shorter M. Skonk de Pew: If I’m not getting – any action – the Islahomobamafascists – can’t neither!
I don’t think he’s fucking with us, he’s just aware that no one is listening. Sure, some fRighties run their eyes across the screen and a neuron fizzles when stimulated by the proper buzzword. But he could just as easily write:
“The Genocidal spank me Liberals of the world want to lets all take our clothes off and roll around in lard unleash genocide in Iraq and destroy Israel please stick an asparagus stalk up my ass and call me Miss Brody, Osama Hussein Barack is a danger to America …”
Great job, Rugged.
Keep in mind, up there sometimes the hippies’l try and fool you by wearing buckskin or sheepskin jackets. But whether its a roach clip keychain or a bag of organic trailmix, they’ll always give themselves away.
Meantime, keep your powder dry, your claymores facing out and know that a grateful nation thanks you for your selfless service…
mikey
I’m wondering about the personal hygene products. Are they like this or this?
I know I’m keeping my parody dry.
I’m texting this post from my northern lot line, where I’m patrolling for possible Marxists (a compadre on the local CB radio network saw a car with an Obama sticker driving out this way). I’ve got my M1 Battle Rifle strapped to my back in case things get crazy
so let’s see if I understand this. You jeard some gossip that members of the public were driving on public roads, and you decided to go out and shoot them?
Well, the mantraps turned out to be a dead end…..empty again (if you don’t count the McHulsen’s prize-winning dairy cow, oooops!). It’s quiet out here…too quiet. When I’m nervous like this I find myself rubbing the knurled sides of my $500.00 combat flashlight like worry beads(it’s a Won’tFire “Pentagon” model, the one that uses those super–rare Bosnian WK-140 batteries that those pussies in the FDA made such a fuss about). This baby is BRIGHT (you can cut small saplings like one of those Star Wars light sabres!) but the damned thing only has a run-time of about 40 seconds, so I never turn it on. Consequently, by face is loaded with bruises and scratches from dark-of-night encounters of the wooden kind, if you get my drift. Hold on, there’s a funny smell in the air, like one of those Hempburgers being grilled on one of those tiny Primus stoves. There be Lefties about! Signing off until I can get a bead on them…
Is this really the same person as Saul/Booger/fakeGary/otherRugged?
While I’m impressed with the development in the sense of humor department, I’m also a bit skeptical.
I call parody.
Rugged in Montana, troll of outdoorsy action, action, action.
Now this is a thing of beauty:
Is the fearless foe of fascism stopping to blog on his camouflaged laptop or does he have a computer on wheels and a reeeeeally long extension cord? Either mental image causes many a snort of amusement.
Is the fearless foe of fascism stopping to blog on his camouflaged laptop or does he have a computer on wheels and a reeeeeally long extension cord? Either mental image causes many a snort of amusement.
We don’t just use Blackberries for pemmican out here in the deep woods, Kemosabe.
Primus sucks! And Rugged in Montana is Nature Boy.
That’s all well and good, RIM. But which was the first state to outlaw slavery?
And what was the day that Vicksburg, the Gibraltar of the South, fell to Grant?
I have to fight ugly hairless monsters, I don’t want to do it while wearing an entire furniture store
Could be worse, Mikey. Gilbert Island armour was woven of coconut fibre, so they had to go into battle looking like animated macrame planters.
And I haven’t even mentioned the porcupine-fish helmets.
But which was the first state to outlaw slavery?
I’m not down in my basement, where I keep my home-school materials, so you’ll have to wait for that one. I’m out in the woods where it’s 18 degrees out and I’m on the trail of a Marxist-Fascist hippie…..yet I’m supposed to be giving you a history lesson?
Use Consevepedia, they’ll have the answer.
The fact is, Toynbee had an idea to resurrect the dead on planet Jupiter, which became the basis for the Kubrick film 2001.
Meantime, keep your powder dry, your claymores facing out and know that a grateful nation thanks you for your selfless service…
Ahem. Here at the St Petersburg State Museum of Bread, “In the section devoted to World War II and the siege of Leningrad, one can see a 125 gm piece of rustic bread made of oil-cake, oats flour, rye flour and hydrocellulose which was given as a daily ration.”
I say they can keep their powdered rye.
I’ve been awake for over 60 hours now, fighting the good fight
Whoa, dood. Maybe you better go here
The fact is, Toynbee had an idea to resurrect the dead on planet Jupiter, which became the basis for the Kubrick film 2001
I’m pretty sure you’re mistaken about that Gary…It was Pastor Hagee’s idea.
Helluva setup there, Clyde. I salute your attention span.
Must credit Flann O’Brien for the powdered-rye joke.
However, the topic seems to be moving on to scabrous anecdotes about Toynbee.
Daffyd Uck:
That’s the worst spelling of “turdy farce” I’ve ever seen.
Smiling Mortician:
That’s the Wikipedia page that, says, at least for the present, He and his wife Sachi currently run a wingnut blog
Christopher:
I like that theory.
I can haz Bread?
I bet the Montana police would love to know why you’re stalking unarmed campers. Assuming you are actually outside, and not in a basement in Rhode Island.
Well, I tracked down the source of the hempburger smell all right. It appears to be a couple of retire school teachers (from the looks of the bumperstickers all over their Saab). I’m invisible to them in my homemade Ghillie suit, a master of stealth who might as well be the wind itself! For the time being, I’m just keeping an eye on them through the crosshairs of the scope on my M1 Battle Rifle….hoping I don’t get called on to defend democracy to the ultimate. I’m weary and cold, but my sense of duty outweighs everything else. At times like this, I fing myself singing a little song I learned on my Grandpa’s knee, several years ago. It goes something like this:
You talk like Marlene Dietrich
And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire
Your clothes are all made by Balmain
And there’s diamonds and pearls in your hair, yes there are
You live in a fancy apartment
Off the Boulevard Saint-Michel
Where you keep your Rolling Stones records
And a friend of Sacha Distel, yes you do
But where do you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your bed
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head, yes I do
I’ve seen all your qualifications
You got from the Sorbonne
And the painting you stole from Picasso
Your loveliness goes on and on, yes it does
When you go on your summer vacation
You go to Juan-les-Pins
With your carefully designed topless swimsuit
You get an even suntan on your back and on your legs
And when the snow falls you’re found in Saint Moritz
With the others of the jet-set
And you sip your Napoleon brandy
But you never get your lips wet, no you don’t
But where do you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your bed
Won’t you tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head, yes I do
Your name, it is heard in high places
You know the Aga Khan
He sent you a racehorse for Christmas
And you keep it just for fun, for a laugh, a-ha-ha-ha
They say that when you get married
It’ll be to a millionaire
But they don’t realize where you came from
And I wonder if they really care, or give a damn
Where do you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your bed
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head, yes I do
I remember the back streets of Naples
Two children begging in rags
Both touched with a burning ambition
To shake off their lowly-born tags, so they try
So look into my face Marie-Claire
And remember just who you are
Then go and forget me forever
But I know you still bear the scar, deep inside, yes you do
I know where you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your bed
I know the thoughts that surround you
‘Cause I can look inside your head
(na na-na-na na na-na-na na-na na na na na)
(na na-na-na na na-na-na na-na na na na na)
Rogered in Montana has officially jumped the shark.
I fing myself singing a little song
Hey, you try texting on a Blackberry when it’s 18 degrees out and you’ve got hands like ham hocks!
I giggled at the “wingnut” reference on the Wikipedia page.
…And then I grimaced at the faux-Welshman’s title for one of his works, “The Coon Rolled Down and Ruptured His Larinks, A Squeezed Novel by Mr. Skunk”. I sincerely thought that was vandalism, too, until I did further research…
g said,
March 10, 2008 at 0:03
Rogered in Montana has officially jumped the shark.
I approve of version 2.0. Far more readable. Now someone fix Chris Muir.
Speaking of bread, I made these today.
Trolls don’t get any muffins.
Better spay and neuter him, just to be safe.
Better spay and neuter him, just to be safe.
Agreed.
Well, I must’ve gotten a little carried away with the singing as the schoolteachers tracked me down and gave me a really stern talking-to (man, my bottom stings!). Then, 2nd Amendment deniers that they are, they took away my M1 Battle Rifle™!! I can’t wander around the rural areas of Montana without a battle rifle strapped to my back! I’m heading back to the basement, where I’ll be relatively safe. Meanwhile:
You talk like Marlene Dietrich
And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire
Your clothes are all made by Balmain
And there’s diamonds and pearls in your hair, yes there are
You live in a fancy apartment
Off the Boulevard Saint-Michel
Where you keep your Rolling Stones records
And a friend of Sacha Distel, yes you do
But where do you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your bed
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head, yes I do
I’ve seen all your qualifications
You got from the Sorbonne
And the painting you stole from Picasso
Your loveliness goes on and on, yes it does
When you go on your summer vacation
You go to Juan-les-Pins
With your carefully designed topless swimsuit
You get an even suntan on your back and on your legs
And when the snow falls you’re found in Saint Moritz
With the others of the jet-set
And you sip your Napoleon brandy
But you never get your lips wet, no you don’t
But where do you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your bed
Won’t you tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head, yes I do
Your name, it is heard in high places
You know the Aga Khan
He sent you a racehorse for Christmas
And you keep it just for fun, for a laugh, a-ha-ha-ha
They say that when you get married
It’ll be to a millionaire
But they don’t realize where you came from
And I wonder if they really care, or give a damn
Where do you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your bed
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head, yes I do
I remember the back streets of Naples
Two children begging in rags
Both touched with a burning ambition
To shake off their lowly-born tags, so they try
So look into my face Marie-Claire
And remember just who you are
Then go and forget me forever
But I know you still bear the scar, deep inside, yes you do
I know where you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your bed
I know the thoughts that surround you
‘Cause I can look inside your head
(na na-na-na na na-na-na na-na na na na na)
(na na-na-na na na-na-na na-na na na na na)
Those look delicious, Susan. I would like one, please. Although in fairness I should mention that I would probably share mine with RIM v. 2.0, for as I live and breathe he is not a troll today. Plus he’s cold and he has picnic hams at the end of his arms. And he’s been spanked by retired vegan Saab-driving schoolteachers. Have you no pity?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
March 9, 2008 at 22:45
I support Snorghagen’s pirate themed military adventure scheme.
As Jerry Seinfeld once said: But I don’t want to be a pirate!
Now THAT’S funny!
Keep ’em coming, Rugged. You’ve found your rhythm…
mikey
Gawd but Hinderaker is a gushy twit. The production values are first rate? The music is perfect? I actually watched that ad. It’s muddy and incoherent, and McCain’s voice is especially whiny in comparison to Winnie’s growl.
Perhaps the ad makes up for its muddiness & incoherence by paying homage to Leni Reifenstafl.
…and then there’s both.
And he’s been spanked by retired vegan Saab-driving schoolteachers.
I’ve heard some people wil pay for that. But okay, muffins for all.
Rugged. Don’t worry reinforcements are ariving with a specially made nerf gun modded with a power drencher.
…and then there’s both.
Oh, dear God.
No wait, there is no God.
How the hell did you find that?
Butt muffins?
First we need to make the world’s smallest pair of gelding sheers.
Don’t worry reinforcements are ariving with a specially made nerf gun modded with a power drencher.
Jim’s Gun Supply is on the job.
Aw, Pinky, if you don’t help me with more fascinating history trivia, I’ll just be getting all my information from Liberal Academia(TM).
I may start questioning the god-like adoration of conservatives for Ronald Reagan if I begin looking at his record instead of shutting up and merely absorbing the prefab talking points!
YEEP!!!!
Okay, I know I posted this the other day, but it is too central to the point not to repost.
Jim’s Gun Supply is on the job.
That is without a doubt the UGLIEST shotgun in existence anywhere in the world.
Convenient, though, because when people saw you with it, you could kill yourself out of embarrassment, without having to look for around frantically for a way to do it…
mikey
One of my friends blogged about it. Don’t ask me how she found out about it.
Oh dear.
I have lots of questions, justme.
Is this a lifestyle? A movement? A joke?
Where do you get those suits? Are they uncomfortable?
Is there something, er, sexual about the whole deal?
Is it a rush? Are the people in the suits high? Are they just having a laugh?
I was just getting a handle on the people who show up at the medieval reenactors battles dressed as zombies, and now I’m confronted with this. I know, I’m an old guy, but I’m not exactly sheltered, and yet I continuously discover fascinating things going on all around me, and yet I had no idea.
It’s like when Hunter Thompson wrote in “Fear and Loathing”.
“Would he dare to suck a sleeve? Probably not. Play it safe. Pretend you never saw it…”
But I WANT to know…
mikey
he’s been spanked by retired vegan Saab-driving schoolteachers.
Pinky’s going to move to Seattle in a couple of months and study for his license as a massage therapist.
Okay – brassica recipe time!!!!
This is something my spouse found in a book and has been dying to make, so we’re making it. We’ve lit the coals, and once they’re ready it will take an hour and a half.
You take a regular cabbage, and core out a 3″ cone at the bottom, stem end. Then you chop up 4 slices of bacon and a small onion, cook them up until brown, and put them into a bowl with about 1/4 cup of barbecue saucee, and mix it up.
You stuff that into the cabbage, and top it with a couple teaspons of butter. Use a brush to paint the outside of the cabbage with the leftover bacon grease.
then you put it in the Weber (use crumpled up tinfoil to keep it from tipping over, cook it over indirect heat with soaked wood chips, for about 1.5 hours. when its done, cut in wedges & serve.
I have NO IDEA how this is going to turn out. But if it gets the man cooking, it’s worth a try.
One of my friends blogged about it. Don’t ask me how she found out about it.
Boing Boing.
Barbecued cabbage?
Really?
Sounds sad, smelly and limp. chewy without being satisfying. I dunno. Maybe I’m just not getting it. Good luck, g….
mikey
Hey, I don’t know. It’s not my idea. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
It’s more like smoked, it cooks for a long time over a low fire.
Sounds sad, smelly and limp.
Kinda like Dafydd . . .
(hey, somebody had to say it)
Furries bowl skittles, without Klingons.
Egad! Betimes! Eloquence!
Turns out I have more “health issues”. The net outcome of a sadly toxic misspent youth. On the other hand, I suppose lots of people who tried to make my run wouldn’t have made it this far. So, new meds and lots of new docs and appointments.
Sigh. I’m keeping a book. If at some point it flips over, and it’s not fun anymore, I’m checkin out. But that’s for another time.
This is about Sunday dinner. I’ve got Skynnyrd’s Muscle Shoals tapes cranked, and I’m gonna do a full – on porterhouse with a Bernaise sauce, sauted wild mushrooms in a righteous red wine reduction, baked yukon golds with a lovely garlic/cream/wine sauce and a classic green salad topped with hard boiled eggs and smoked oysters and a pear/almond vinagrette.
Then I’m baking fucking COOKIES!
Yeah, yeah, I don’t wanna die, and I GET that these fine professionals are trying to HELP me with that goal, but at some point you have to ask yourself “What’s the goddam point?”
Other times, all alone at four aye emm, the point is abundantly clear.
mikey
So sorry, mikey. hang in there. Stick with the meds – it’s worth a try.
The porterhouse sounds great. I will regale you with a review of the cabbage, sometime later on.
Maybe its better with wine.
Hang in there, mikey. Please let us know if you need us for anything.
The point, at least at the moment, may be the full-on porterhouse, the wild mushrooms with righteous red wine reduction, etc. And of course the fucking cookies.
“Health issues” suck, mikey. But you just keep on driving it like it’s stolen, OK?
Thanks you guys. It’s really not a big deal, kind of more of the same, just more of it.
You can get used to a breakfast of scrambled pills.
My main doc (did I tell you she speaks Urdu? I think that kicks ass. My goal is to get her in bed. Maybe she’ll talk dirty in Urdu.) is a hardass about knowing what’s going on with your treatment, so she always makes ME recite all my prescriptions, including their milligrams and side effects. I always ask her why. “Don’t you know what I’m taking? Why is it MY job to keep track of this stuff?”. She just smiles. And I want her more.
Ultimately, if I don’t die first, she’ll succumb to my charms and give me a REAL examination. It’s not like there’s a downside to this calculation. Hey, if nothing else it keeps me keeping my appointments. Kaiser mikeyworld. Kind of a cartoon with drugs…
mikey
As one of Daffy’s commenters notes: “McCain has the heredity to be a great American…”
I’d need to see his papers, first. Who was his sire? Who was his bitch? Is he registered with the American Kennel Club?
No need to hope or dream. Sounds like next Tuesday. 😉
Who was his sire? Who was his bitch?
Damn. I already took the “sad, smelly and limp” line, so I should probably just let this one go.
“You can get used to a breakfast of scrambled pills…”
Only when crushed together and mixed with applesauce, Mikey.
Ultimately, if I don’t die first, she’ll succumb to my charms and give me a REAL examination.
The way I met my Frau Doktorin was by volunteering as one of the guinea-pigs in a drugs trial she was running.
Dafydd y Gareg Wen’s website is where self-awareness goes to die.
I thought perhaps that Gavin had traduced him. I could not believe that anyone would come out and claim that because invading & occupying other countries is part of the status quo, the radical policy proposition of ceasing to invade & occupy other countries is an example of liberal-fascist change-for-the-sake-of-change. No-one could be that blatant, I thought… even four-year-old children learn that “The liberals stole the cookies” is not a plausible excuse when your face is covered with crumbs.
I was wrong.
OT
In the first insider account of Pentagon decision-making on Iraq, one of the key architects of the war blasts former secretary of state Colin Powell, the CIA, retired Gen. Tommy R. Franks and former Iraq occupation chief L. Paul Bremer for mishandling the run-up to the invasion and the subsequent occupation of the country.
Douglas J. Feith, in a massive score-settling work, portrays an intelligence community and a State Department that repeatedly undermined plans he developed as undersecretary of defense for policy and conspired to undercut President Bush’s policies.
(quote cut and pasted from today’s TBogg, where it was also a quote)
Any chance that Frith’s book can get the Sadly,No! review treatment? Frith has done more real damage than Doughy could accomplish in his wildest dreams. He has tons of real blood on his hands. I think the book rates a little look-see by S,N!’s world class evaluation team.
ps: hoping the best for Mikey.
Jesus, I just saw that ‘US War Dead Comparison’ graphic in the right column on Daffy’s site. What a sick stinking sack of shit he is. Come on, Insurgents, you’re not trying hard enough!! What a wussy death count this war in Iraq has produced. Fucking Christ.
I hope the earth opens up and swallows him whole someday.
…an intelligence community and a State Department that repeatedly undermined plans he developed as undersecretary of defense for policy and conspired to undercut President Bush’s policies.
Sounds like they were trying to do their jobs.
Feith is the classic thug, killing for the bosses, then left to rot.
Trying desparately to convince the unconvinced and unbelieving that he was on the side of the angels while dark forces conspired to thwart him at every turn.
The book publisher is to be understood – people will buy this book.
But it should not be, and I suspect Douglas will discover it cannot be. You simply can’t take a lead role in a debacle of this magnitude and still come away pleading your hands are clean, and it’s just those other incompetents. Sorry, Dougie, it’s been tried. You are tarred by the brush you used to commit this crime, and no forgiveness is, at least immediately forthcoming….
mikey
Sam, that’s why it’s going to be such a twisted book. We’re going to be cheering for everyone that fucks him over.
So – The verdict’s in on the Cabbage. i give it a 2 out of 5.
Uh. If you like braised cabbage, this is the thing for you. I happen to like braised cabbage, although braising this way seems to be a lot of trouble when you could easier cut it up and do it in the oven. It needs about twice the bacon the recipe calls for, and maybe something sweet and sour, instead of the barbeque sauce.
If you don’t like braised cabbage……forget it.
Anyone catch the Wire? I suspect there will be a proper threat tomorrow, but I was satisfied with the ending: things go on the way they always have.
Then you chop up 4 slices of bacon and a small onion, cook them up until brown, and put them into a bowl with about 1/4 cup of barbecue saucee, and mix it up.
The recipe started out fine. I don’t know why you had to spoil it by bringing in a cabbage.
[Feith] blasts former secretary of state Colin Powell, the CIA, retired Gen. Tommy R. Franks and former Iraq occupation chief L. Paul Bremer for mishandling the run-up to the invasion and the subsequent occupation of the country.
I am sometimes disheartened by the way Reality betrayed my brilliant plan by mishandling the “flying unicorn” component.
The porterhouse was perfect, rich and buttery, crispy around the edges and the right kind of hot pink inside. The potatoes were deliscious, topped with butter, sour cream and parsley. The salad, topped with eggs, smoked oysters and sunflower nuts was rich and tangy under the sweetness of the pear vinagarette. But the real showstopper was the the mushrooms. Dense, dark and tangy in the red wine reduction, the depth and complexity was beyond description. How they played off against the steak and the potatoes was so magic, I wish I could tell you I planned it, but I didn’t.
However, I made it happen, and enjoyed the magic. Once again. You wanna pick kitchen of foxhole, stove or bayonet? No contest…
mikey
The Wire ended kinda the way the Bush maladministration looks like it will end: with the exoneration, even exaltation of the guilty and the punishment of the innocent.
with the exoneration, even exaltation of the guilty and the punishment of the innocent.
And so it came to pass, so it shall be, so it has always been.
Fight the power. But be prepared for your victories to be small and incremental…
mikeyy
You wanna pick kitchen of foxhole, stove or bayonet? No contest…
I bow to your superior talent. Although, to be fair, I was fighting with inferior resources – brassica.
Actually, the spouse says that he was quite pleased with the cabbage. he likes cabbage.
there’s just no telling about some people.
We’re going to be cheering for everyone that fucks him over.
Hee hee – yeah, that will be a wild ride. I wonder if there’ll be enough specifics to put ol’ Dougie in jail?
g. I have a strong suspicion that my talent is well below that of a reasonably well balanced teenager. I’m learning, I’m trying, and I’m loving what I’m doing, which counts for a lot.
But my point was not a challenge. Nu uh. I’d be delighted to sample your fare, or even, given the right opportunity, to share a kitch with you, perhaps in a banquet hall filled with people we love.
Rather it was a celebration of creation over destruction. Nurture over hate. Growth over stagnation. And perhaps, just perhaps, the triumph of love over fear.
I’d like to be a part of that. Yep. I truly would.
For now? Cookies!!
mikey
This whole thing with the furries has freaked me out. I mean, I knew they were out there, thanks to Entourage…and I know there are some really kinky things people get into to get their freak on…but the furries thing is just really very sad.
Ya just can’t beat good mushrooms and a great steak. And potatoes, with butter.
Now I want cookies too.
They’re still warm, gbear.
Dig in!
mikey
This may be the saddest photo I have ever seen.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Fursuiters.jpg
I can’t help it.
I’m fascinated by their big fuzzy floppy feet.
Is it hard to walk in those things?
Can I try?
mikey
This whole thing with the furries has freaked me out.
I find your lack of morbid curiosity… disturbing.
http://furry.wikia.com/wiki/Plushophilia
http://pressedfur.coolfreepages.com/press/vanityfair/
Nobody knows whether or not YOU HAVEN’T TRIED ALREADY.
Apparently Feith argues that State Department traitors and defeatists betrayed his foolproof plans, and that good old Ahmad Chalabi would have set everything straight if he’d been given half a chance. Very convincing.
There’s also a good bio of Chalabi which just came out. I’m ordering that rather than the Feith book, since I tend to find sleazeballs more interesting than jackasses.
There are no elephants in foxholes.
I suspect that there are elephants in foxholes, but no-one talks about them.
Well, sure, except I’m a completly OUT OF TOUCH dork and I don’t know HOW to participate in actual organized weirdness.
Back in my day, y’young whippersnapper, you had to invent your OWN weirdness. It’s not like you could go get a fuzzy suit with big floppy feet and just BAM like that fit in.
Oh no. You had to have a girlfriend who could sew and know where some righteous thrift shops were and then, maybe, if your vision had some measurable parameters to it, then MAYBE you could execute it before the real powerful drugs kicked in and you forgot what you were doing.
When it came together, it was magical. When it didn’t, well, hell, nobody actually noticed anyway.
But I’d still like give the big floppy feet a go…
mikey
The internet is a weirdness enabler.
Ok, first, don’t let the sergeant hear you call your fighting position a foxhole or you’ll be burning shit the rest of the month.
Beyond that, there are CERTAINLY elephants in foxholes. Along with aliens, sheep and various demons. You sit in a hole all night, a child just waiting for some very scary people to come and try to kill you, and tell me what’s NOT in that foxhole. I had long, involved conversations with abe lincoln and ho chi minh, ’cause they used to share my hole with me on fifty percent alert. Abe was pretty good – he’d frequently be the first one to see the sappers in the wire. Ho didn’t seem to care one way or another – he liked to talk about astrology…
mikey
Mikey, I thought that in the 60’s you’d just do an interpretive dance about big floppy feet, and everyone would see that you had them.
Plushophilia, eh? I’d heard of the furry kink, but I was unaware of the plushie variation on that theme and didn’t know that people were screwing their teddy bears. What a whacky, wonderful world we live in.
Ha! There’s a furries group in Minneapolis but it only has one member. Now that’s sad. You’d think it would be pretty popular in the winter.
Righteous Bubba said,
March 10, 2008 at 5:52
This may be the saddest photo I have ever seen.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Fursuiters.jpg
Well let me try and bring harmony back to the world, then.
I’d be delighted to sample your fare, or even, given the right opportunity, to share a kitch with you, perhaps in a banquet hall filled with people we love.
Likewise, I’m sure. It would be an honor.
Plushophilia, eh? I’d heard of the furry kink, </I.
I’m not sure how the furry think works, logistically. Are there strategically placed zippers?
No, please, I don’t want to know. Please! I long to remain ignorant and innocent.
Another piece of harmony:
http://xkcd.com/386/
I’m going to bed.
Man, gbear, talk about “great minds”.
I came across that comic a couple weeks ago and put it in my work email sig file. ‘Cause it’s funny, and I’m hilarious….
mikey
Wow, just readingthe news about Illinois, and Hastert’s district now being represented by a Democrat.
this is a district that recently had a very ugly battle over allowing Planned Parenthood to build a clinic.
The funny thing is, I actually lived in this district when i was a kid.Jim Oberweiss, the Republican who lost, his family owned the dairy that used to deliver milk to my house when I was 8, 9, 10 years old. I didn’t know about politics when I was a kid, of course, but my parents were Republican – sort of moderate, protestant, Rockefeller-style Republican.
I went there this winter for a family wedding. My brother lives there. I haven’t asked him about his politics, although I imagine he is Republican like my dad was.
I drove around my old neighborhood when we visited. I saw my house, and drove past the house of my best friend, a Catholic Scandinavian girl who had 7 brothers and sisters, who lived one block over from me. Her dad worked at a local electrical plant; his name was Bud, and her mom was called Babe.
On the front lawn of her house was a yard sign opposing the Planned Parenthood clinic. I still wonder whether her family is still living in that house.
I didn;’t go knock ont he door.
And there’s a lot of weirdness to enable. Behold the fetish map from Katharine Gates’ Deviant Desires.
Mikey, I just found that cartoon tonight posted on another blog. I’ve spent the last half hour enjoying the previous cartoons and now I REALLY have to go to bed. Getting up an hour earlier tomorrow is going to suck.
Behold the fetish map
Clowns. Pie play. Now that’s just sick.
This is something that I can only hope is a bit off topic, – When I was working in Great America, Pepe LePew and Sulvester were actually two very good looking girls who had to strap themselves flat with ace bandages.
“Carve up Israel?” Don’t you get a nuclear wedgie if you try that? And I don’t think Obama is quite, er, Italian enough to be our Mussolini. Only one guy fit that bill, and he’s out of the race.
At least until McCain picks a running mate. Watch out, John! Rudy might have a bit more Tony in him than he lets on…
Have you listened to Tiny Tim’s tour de force God Bless Tiny Tim? If he’s right — and he certainly knows more about the subject than I — then the purpose of Mile Davis’s…
Pepe LePew and Sulvester were actually two very good looking girls who had to strap themselves flat with ace bandages.
Ha! That’s choice.
When I was in school in California, my college’s mascot also worked at Disneyland being Goofy (and goofy) in the parades. She didn’t have to strap herself down, AFAIK, since that costume was pretty roomy.
She also said that the Three Little Pigs were played by guys who liked to drop acid and go play in pig suits with children all day. Sounds like a helluva way to make a living, if you can keep your head on straight enough to, um, keep your head on.
Jennifer, ever hear about cosplay?
I think this is more Dafydd’s style.
Just looked at the fur site,,,
AAAHHHHH!!!!…MY EYES…
Actually, if Daffy needs a hobby besides fellating his teddy bear and writing bad novels, I suggest THIS.
It looks like he can get some badly needed help with his wardrobe while he’s there.
Ouch. I just clicked on that Amazon link thinking, I dunno, it might be the funny or something and it’s just sad: LF has nearly 200, mostly very positive, reviews? There’s, oh, ONE one star review? And a zillion fairly respectable Amazon reviewers just LUV LF.
How is this possible? 200 positive reviews of LF? They look like real reviews. Some of the reviewers are clearly real people.
I’d like to find the funny but it’s just too gobbstockingfuckaularly stupid.
I was just getting a handle on the people who show up at the medieval reenactors battles dressed as zombies, and now I’m confronted with this.
The topic has come up before. Every time one of the SadlyNauts posts about Dafydd abs Ickspack, people find it less painful to speculate about plushie sex.
Ya know, I think it would be sad if all those plushie/furry folks DIDN’T have the conventions, if they thought they were the only ones like that in the world.
Goddamn, but we’ve all seen such ugliness, cruelty, and stupidity from human beings, especially the last seven years. As far as I can see, the furry thing is all about companionship, fun, and a little nookie. God, yes, more of that, please; less of the Doug Feiths of the world.
The sadness of the photo I posted was not that they indulge themselves, which is fine, but that even green-haired sword kitties need to line up in an orderly fashion. The orange fox is noticeably cringing.
Go fucking nuts, you pretend animals!
If I have to fight ugly hairless monsters, I don’t want to do it while wearing an entire furniture store.
Well, yeah, Mikey, but remember the Samurai movies: Once you’ve learned to retain your dignity in an outfit made of stuff from my granny’s sunporch, you can be Dignified no matter how mucky, moronic, or ludicrous your surroundings. This counts big for samurai. And cats.
And you have my sympathy concerning the medical issues. Although at our age, if you don’t have at least one medical issue niggling the edge of your consciousness, you are probably dead…
The fact is, Toynbee had an idea to resurrect the dead on planet Jupiter, which became the basis for the Kubrick film 2001.
The fat is, Gary doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.
Former British leader Tony Blair to teach at Yale
… a course on “faith and globalization,”…
Why not a course on how to be a lackey for the Worst President Ever?
Goddamn, but we’ve all seen such ugliness, cruelty, and stupidity from human beings, especially the last seven years. As far as I can see, the furry thing is all about companionship, fun, and a little nookie. God, yes, more of that, please; less of the Doug Feiths of the world.
Less chimp, more bonobo.
That photo is pretty much why I don’t go to the cons anymore. =/
Ouch. I just clicked on that Amazon link thinking, I dunno, it might be the funny or something and it’s just sad: LF has nearly 200, mostly very positive, reviews? There’s, oh, ONE one star review?
If I remember correctly, the 200 closest friends of Jonah who wrote positive reviews then started flagging every negative review as abusive until Amazon took them all down. All those reviews say nothing about the quality of the book but everything about how these guys pervert and game the system. Best to think of everything attached to Jonah as a dadaist performance piece. If you want to get a laugh out of it you need to go look at how people were tagging the book, unless that area got purged too. I’m not going to go check…
Clowns. Pie play. Now that’s just sick.
Smut, I wish I could send you a cartoon that I saved from a sunday paper many years ago. It’s very innocent but it involves a clown, a pie, and a couple having their first date. It was one of the most brilliantly good natured takes on the dating process that I’ve seen.
late to the party but – that Jim’s Gun Supply Shotgun has given me an idea – pass a law that all guns must be painted pink. Shotguns, pistols, rifles – every man jack of them pink. If nothing else it’d cut down on the macho factor yes?
Here is a poem somebody posted as a comment to Mr. Not-Welsh’s thingy:
A proper plague Politics; out of the mouths of the damned
Turbid flow the issues; it’s getting out of hand!
Banks which once were overflown, are now blown back to sand.
By bomb and bullet maimed, blood flows into the land.
For it is the earth that suffers in a cynical generation
Urged on by might, right, democracy, predestination;
Ungrounded, unfounded intelligence, compound networks of lies
Brought to you by those same agencies which also handle your wives
United nations claiming common grounds, prepared to lay down lives
Promising salvation as a prompt condition, and set to buzz around the ayes.
A terminal sickness Ignorance; multi-indifference is fair
As in darkness vive la difference, weltschmerz we will bear!
Beat that bloated animal would you? Is this all that we can spare?
While the earth cries out in pain and I tear out my hair?!
Discuss. (Compare and contrast.)
Denny Crane!
Frist!
All the Frists you could want are here:
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/date/2003/06
I hope Rugged in Montana made it back to the basement okay.
No, he’s still camping in the cold hard wilderness, stalking vegans.
stalking vegans
That seems so right.
Goddamn, but we’ve all seen such ugliness, cruelty, and stupidity from human beings, especially the last seven years. As far as I can see, the furry thing is all about companionship, fun, and a little nookie. God, yes, more of that, please; less of the Doug Feiths of the world.
Indeed. I’d rather associate with people who get off on furry animal costumes that those hard and/or wet for more death and destruction.
This whole thing with the furries has freaked me out.
I just bought the wife a 3ft long cuddly piglet (she was ill), does that make a sicko?
Righteous Bubba said,
March 10, 2008 at 17:56
All the Frists you could want are here:
Wow. You people stalk the night, keeping it real for the liberal facism.
g said,
March 10, 2008 at 18:14
No, he’s still camping in the cold hard wilderness, stalking vegans.
No surprise you are here flashing your wit. Don’t you girls have anything better to do on a late tuesday night?
Randall Byrd: visitor from the future.
OT: did you all see that Bush is sending Cheney on a peace mission to the ME?? Is it April fools day?
Righteous Bubba said,
March 10, 2008 at 18:50
Randall Byrd: visitor from the future.
Dude, I’m so goddam awesome I already wrote this post and just had to cutandpaste.
Infactalreadygothtenext ten comments saved and ready to go.
But seriously, who really gives a shit?
Righteous Bubba said,
March 10, 2008 at 18:50
Randall Byrd: visitor from the future.
Oh wait, its not yet Tuesday night where you are?
Backwards fuck.
Does anyone actually read all those dumbass comments?
Goddamn, it painful just to scroll past them.
We need to get a life.
“We,” paleface?
If he’s right — and he certainly knows more about the subject than I
How embarrassing it must be to admit one knows less than a man who though Mussolini was called a fascist because of his opinions about WWI rather than because he was the founder of the Fascist Party.
Dafydd, mae o’n rel coc oen!
I guess this means that Jonah has taken his place in the pantheon of conservative intellectuals. I can’t wait until K-Lo writes her tome on how the Catholic Church single-handedly brought down Hitler.
Cassandra said,
March 10, 2008 at 19:20
“We,” paleface?
Sadly, negro, you are down here in the late comment dregs, with me.
It am sucking, but wathchew gonna do. it late late uesday night and maybe we drink a bit to much, eh?
Speaking of clowns and pie play, anyone know if K-Lo is all atwitter, over her bff Mitt Romney being put forward as a possible Veep choice for McCain? I’m guessing her seat’s rather wet right about now…
The paleface thing is a reference to an old joke (Fireside Theater?). You out to google or even, god forbid, think before you post. Here it is Monday afternoon. We no understand time zones too much, eh?
“ought”
It still isn’t late Tuesday night anywhere.
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/custom.html?sort=2
Perhaps the newest troll is in another reality. Goodness knows he has plenty of company.
Speaking of clowns and pie play, anyone know if K-Lo is all atwitter, over her bff Mitt Romney being put forward as a possible Veep choice for McCain? I’m guessing her seat’s rather wet right about now…
Dude, tats exactly the kinda insindeiary insiteful commentarry we need down herar at the bottom of the thread. Otherwise them upstream fags will ignore us.
To be fair, I think it’s rather late for Randall Byrd. On some level. Not a Tuesday level, per se, but still.
Righteous Bubba said,
March 10, 2008 at 19:37
It still isn’t late Tuesday night anywhere.
Whoa! Cuz that really gonna freak me out if it isn’t 2 am.
I’ll check your link, but you will excuse me if i trust the local clock?
Bored now.
No doubt K-Lo has already whipped out her permanent colored markers and resumed decorating her notebook with Mrs. Sisterwife Romey
Susan of Texas (also Cassandra when forgetting to change name) said,
March 10, 2008 at 19:39
Perhaps the newest troll is in another reality. Goodness knows he has plenty of company.
Always curious why you babes want to go with the “troll” meme. Wouldn’t you rather just get down and boogie 80’s techno style? I’ll bring the mullet you bring the floppy boobs, We’ll get a tent in the woods, serioosly I don’t care if you shave your armpits as long as you bring the poon baby.
Anybody have any idea what this clown’s on about.
Seriously, it’s like Pinko Punko’s evil twin.
Who’s not funny…
mikey
Susan of Texas (also Cassandra when forgetting to change name) said,
March 10, 2008 at 19:36
The paleface thing is a reference to an old joke (Fireside Theater?). You out to google or even, god forbid, think before you post. Here it is Monday afternoon. We no understand time zones too much, eh?
Fuck you, I’v herd of the foreskin theatre, in fact i can recite that Nick Danger 3 eye giant rat of slumlord from memory and it is tuesday afternoon.
My scroll wheel is about to overheat.
Susan, I thought is was the old ‘Lone Ranger’ joke. What Firesign skit is it from?
mikey said,
March 10, 2008 at 20:05
Anybody have any idea what this clown’s on about.
Seriously, it’s like Pinko Punko’s evil twin.
Who’s not funny…
Dude, some day this war’s gonna end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHjWDCX1Bdw
mikey
All I know is that someone told me the joke was on a comedy album cover, I think a Fireside Theater one, but I’m not sure. I shall consult the Oracle.
Huh – I don’t remember Randall Byrd, but all his comments are showing up as “I like pie!” So he must have been by before and acted like an ass.
He’s extremely fond of pie.
navclient&ie
Susan docked cool points. And I linked to her and everything!
What a world when geek=cool.
I’m about to get docked more points–huh? I’m afraid my computer geek quotient is horribly low, but I try to make up for it with pop culture.
it’s hip to be square
FAIL!
g said,
March 10, 2008 at 20:18
He’s extremely fond of pie.
And right on time, g shows up with a wittless comment. Welcome to the end of the thread, dumbass.
You linked to me! Oh my god, you are the first person to do that.
Okay, I’ll stop being an idiot now.
By the way, J-.
I usually am on board with you, but…
Primus does certainly NOT suck.
gbear, I also thought that that was a Tonto quote, but the closest I’ve ever come to watching the show is reading the title of that Sherman Alexie story.
t4toby said,
March 10, 2008 at 20:25
Fuck you, I’v herd of the foreskin theatre, in fact i can recite that Nick Danger 3 eye giant rat of slumlord from memory and it is tuesday afternoon.
FAIL!
Your commenting style reminds me of another lesser poster.
You and ‘g’ are sockpuppeting?
From now on I will call you ‘puppy’.
You and ‘g’ are sockpupetting, eh?
F
Susan, you only just recently started linking your name to your comments, so what do you expect?
I just found out on Friday or Saturday that you even had a blog.
poor randall isn’t well socialized.
you forgot to close your italics. dumbass
Pie
I’m totally at a loss to understand what you’re getting at, Randall.
The whole fail thing comes from the fact that I was consulting the Great Gazoogle for my latest post, and I was going through ‘Fail’ pictures to find the perfect one.
In the end, I had to create my own.
I like pie.
sexually.
Heh, that’s right. And in fact I don’t even have a blogroll at all. You never think blogs are going to be work until you have to get up in the middle of the night to feed them.
Pedestrian, that quote would never have been used on the original Lone Ranger show, lol. I remember the joke punchline being ‘What you mean ‘we’, white man?’
Unfortunately, my head is completely stuffed with thoroughly useless trivia like that dating from the 60’s thru early 80’s. I haven’t been able to remember a fact since. I blame Hillary.
Breaking news–Spitzer caught in prostitution ring, on CNN. I kid you not.
I like it when people use my nym. 20:34
Go for it.
Its almost like you eat your own doodie.
Oh, and ” hey puppy”. Of course you don’t understand, go about your clever business you big girl you. We all love you here.
and it is tuesday afternoon
Randall’s going backwards in time, which is fine by me.
This thread has devolved into doodie jokes?
Maybe Randall is from the future, Idiocracy-style?
Randall Byrd said,
March 10, 2008 at 20:34
I like pie.
sexually.
It’s obvious. But tell us, have you ever made it to a second date?
the Spitzer story is quite a surprise.
puppy said
This thread has devolved into doodie jokes?
Gaddamn it I knew i could train you right.
Doodie,, puppy, gbear, Susan from texas walk into a
bar and order drinks.
Bartender puts up one beer.
From Primus FAQ.
the Spitzer story is quite a surprise.
Rich guy indulges himself. Dog bites man.
Dafydd Ab Hugh
Friends, tired of your flabby belly? Are you embarassed to take your shirt off in front of your buds? Do you want to go from flab to fab???
Now, from Acme Industries, the Ab Hugh! It won’t give you great abs, but it will distract everyone from looking at them!
See ya.
This guy’s just too annoying.
I’ll check back later…
mikey
OK, I haven’t made a comment since 10:51. This is not cool. Both the 21:13 and 21:14 comments are fake. I’m not going to snark this. Someone needs to get banned.
It seems to be a lot smarter than your average troll.
Which makes it a lot more pathetic.
A lot.
So don’t leave, all. It desperately needs the attention.
Correction. I haven’t commented since 20:51.
And pleae don’t ban it. This blog is the only thing that gives it a reason to live.
I can see it typing away, furiously, formulating a hilarious, witty accusation about liberals and censorship aimed at gbear.
Good job, gbear. You may have saved a life.
Don’t worry, gbear. Those of us who know, know.
I could care less what some bored adolescent says.
BTW, Randall:
Project much?
He’s all yours Hoosier. I’m not at all hip to handing my identity over to a psychopath.
Yes. Yes I do.
bite a fart
Oh, Randall, you so funny. You should get a job writing for Mallard Fillmore.
Maybe you should send some of your gags to Chris Muir.
Oh! I know! Apply for Secretary of State! You’re easily as qualified as the last two.
puppy said,
Don’t worry, gbear. Those of us who know, know.
I could care less what some bored adolescent says.
BTW, Randall:
Project much?
Hey pup. Stuff your gob with Little Debby Snack Cakes much?
Wow! Great material!
Ever think of contributing to townhall.com?
I may be going out on a limb but I think you’re more than good enough to write for them.
i>Hoosier X said,
March 10, 2008 at 21:28
It seems to be a lot smarter than your average troll.
Absolutely.
And you might want to spit out the hook, dumbass.
mikey said,
March 10, 2008 at 21:21
See ya.
This guy’s just too annoying.
I’ll check back later…
mikey
Dude, some day this war’s gonna end.
Another good one!
The Bush speech-writing team will be calling you any time now.
Holy cow, this guy’s got the Napolion thing going big time, except he seems to have his hand tucked into his pants instead of his coat.
Hoosier X said,
March 10, 2008 at 21:46
Wow! Great material!
Ever think of contributing to townhall.com?
I may be going out on a limb but I think you’re more than good enough to write for them.
You’re not gonna quit are you? You are mine.
Blogs in need of updating are a lot like standing water, it seems.
I love pies
It was 12 o’clock and my stomach was churning
my desire for a pie was really burning,
The Square Pie Shop was where I had to be
for a lovely filling encased in golden pastry.
Lamb and rosemary, steak and cheese,
which one should I choose? I’ll have both please!
The aromas released as I cut through the lid,
and into my tummy the pie just slid.
With some mash and gravy to wash it down,
There’s no doubt about it they’re the best pies in town!
But with more on the menu that I really must try,
I just can’t wait to eat my next pie!
Chloë Elerton
Happy Monday on earth, all. I came for my troll who died 12 hours ago when he forgot “yellow in front, brown in back.” C’mon kid, yer coming with me.
You are good!
I bet you always remember to ask the guests if they want fries with that.
You’ll be assistant shift supervisor in a year, I’m sure.
gbear at work said,
March 10, 2008 at 21:51
Holy cow, this guy’s got the Napolion thing going big time, except he seems to have his hand tucked into his pants instead of his coat.
Oh gee wilikers have you fat housewives no control? Stop shoving rasberry zingers into your chubby cheeks and stop feeding trolls. Bet you can’t. Because you are overweight housewives with way too much time on your hands. You and your sock ‘hoosier’ and ‘t4toby’ need to lose some fucking weight and turn off the computer. Nobady cares about your opinion.
Countdown to Randall realizing he’s been hooked: 99999999, 99999998…
Nobady except me cares about your opinion.
Fixed.
This clever and witty troll has just proven too much for me. I can’t handle going up against someone who is so perceptive and so on-target with his rejoinders!
Oh, if only he wasn’t so frustrated by his menial fast-food job and his meager ambitions, think of what he could accomplish in his life!
But the … fat housewives are keeping him down.
Never give up! Fight the … fat housewives. And the … raspberry zingers.
I guess.
If that’s your thing.
We agree with Hoosier X.
All of us.
Everything he says.
We agree.
Righteous Bubba said,
March 10, 2008 at 22:02
Countdown to Randall realizing he’s been hooked: 99999999, 99999998…
heh
Yah think?
You’re smarter than the average bear ain’t yah?
It’s OK Randy honey. You can have a cookie AFTER supper. Now get up off the floor and go watch cartoons until the noodles are done. Oh, and it looks like there’s a new thread too! Isn’t that exciting! Stop crying honey.
Most of the other trolls obviously have other things to do today, so they sent this Bush Leaguer.
Let’s stop feeding him and see how long he can have a conversation with himself…
Hoosier X said,
March 10, 2008 at 22:06
This clever and witty troll has just proven too much for me. I can’t handle going up against someone who is so perceptive and so on-target with his rejoinders!
Oh, if only he wasn’t so frustrated by his menial fast-food job and his meager ambitions, think of what he could accomplish in his life!
But the … fat housewives are keeping him down.
Never give up! Fight the … fat housewives. And the … raspberry zingers.
I guess.
If that’s your thing.
Hey thanks for the graceful surrender.
In the future, don’ t respond to trolls.
HTH HAND
Rich guy indulges himself. Dog bites man.
I don’t know. This one might have potential for the funny. According to the New York Times, Client 9 (who they say is Spitzer) arranged a room for Valentine’s Day Eve. Then there’s this (same article):
Mr. Spitzer spoke with revulsion and anger after announcing the arrest of 16 people for operating a high-end prostitution ring out of Staten Island.
Heh.
puppy said,
Most of the other trolls obviously have other things to do today, so they sent this Bush Leaguer.
Let’s stop feeding him and see how long he can have a conversation with himself…
Give it a try, Shortpants. But first announce how your gonna give it a try, cuz everyone really wants to know.
Peek-a-boo honey! I see you. LOLOL
Oh dear. I wonder how/where Mr. Spitzer catched teh GOP disease. I’m guessing David “Shitter” Vitter had sumpin to do wif it.
WOW! Getta load of THIS one. It attempts to boss around complete strangers on the internet. I bet the name for its disorder has at least 13 letters and is very hard to pronounce.
Excuse me, Mr. Namestealing Person in Australia.
Would you please stop stealing people’s names?
Thanks!
Oy. Sorry, mate.
You can understand why I’ve been a bit starved for attention these last few years.
To reiterate: Oy.